#celestial meteor au all content

[crumbsispoggers]

meme that might become relevant for future scenes

[soongyeopsal]

Ocean View

Summary: Your boyfriend is already perfect. What else could you need? What else could you possibly wish for? ▸ Pairing: Namjoon x NB reader ▸ Rating / Genre / AU: 15+ / angst / established relationship au ▸ Warnings: just a wee bit of angst, adult language, and 1 single punch ▸ Word Count: 2.4k ▸ A/N: It feels so good to drop this after a year of fussing with the draft!  😭 Angst isn’t usually for me, but it just felt right here. ✨Forever✨ thank you to @joonminshua for encouraging me to keep writing and beta’ing!

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵　　‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Being with Namjoon has always been easy. Your conversations are effortless and you never argue. He treats you with so much love, so much care that you can’t help but fall hard and fast for him. Good fortune seems to follow Namjoon everywhere and by extension, it follows you as well. It doesn’t matter what you’re worrying about - it could be family, work, health, or money. If you voice it to Namjoon, he’s there to hold and support you and insist that things will be alright. And Namjoon is never wrong - not once in the 5 years you’ve been together. Everything always works out and you don’t even have to accumulate that many scars before good things come.

This is yet another perfect evening. It’s the final day of your personal vacation before you return to work and Namjoon has been at your side all day. The two of you visited a new nature-themed exhibit at the local museum and then he treated you to a simple lunch in the park so you could enjoy the good weather. Hours go by and he has one last stop on the agenda: a trip to the beachfront fair. Even with the crowds and noise, a usual deterrent, you find yourself perfectly content as you share desserts and win every game on the boardwalk.

The fun has to come to an end eventually, though, and you tell Namjoon as much after he’s won yet another teddy bear to add to your spoils. He pleads with you to go on just one ride with him before going home. Your feet are starting to hurt and if you stand still too long you can feel the weight of your eyelids, but when your boyfriend hits you with the biggest pleading eyes you’ve ever seen, you oblige.

Namjoon’s beloved ride of the evening is the ferris wheel. He has to pay the ride attendant extra to keep watch over your trash bag of stuffed animals, but it’s worth it. The ride stops when your cabin is at the very top and your hands are cupped within Namjoon’s. High above the lights of the fair, there is only you and him. The sky is dotted with constellations that he’s eagerly showed you before and the sea is endless. When you visit the beach the expanse is inky and terrifying. But up here, enveloped in a blanket of quiet adoration, the ocean looks like love and the gently rolling waves are the eternities you know you must have shared together in lifetimes before this.

“There’s going to be a meteor shower in a few minutes.” Namjoon’s voice is soft, but deep. In the ferris wheel cabin, it feels like it’s all around you.

A shiver runs down your spine, but you’re not sure if it’s from the way his tone fills you or if it’s something else. You ignore it, instead training your eyes on the sky. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“It was a surprise! Do you like it?” Namjoon laces your fingers together with his and squeezes. You turn to smile at him, to say “yes”, but he nudges your knee before you can answer. “Oh, it’s starting!”

Time stops when the celestial event begins. If it was only you and Namjoon in the cabin before, now it feels like you’re on another plane. There’s no sound and the only sight to be seen is streams of light streaking your vision as each meteor comes and goes through the endless pocket of space.

Namjoon’s lips brush your knuckles delicately, grounding you to him.

“Make a wish, Y/N.”

Despite the daze you’ve found yourself in, you don’t even have to think.

“I want this. I want to be around you, with you. Forever.”

Namjoon stops where he is, pillowy lips frozen on the top of your palm. The next time he speaks, his breath is fire against your skin but he doesn’t notice when you flinch in his grasp. “Of course, babe.”

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵　　‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

It’s been 3 years since Namjoon promised you forever under the stars. You haven’t seen or heard from him since. Everyone talks about the stages of grief, but no one mentions how jumbled they can be. Denial, bargaining, acceptance, anger, depression. Deep depression.

What did you do? What did you say? Why couldn’t he at least give you a reason for leaving? Time is supposed to heal all wounds, but the not knowing keeps this one tacky and only half-scabbed. Your friends have tried it all: surrounding you with distractions, leaving you be, inviting you on trips, setting you up with friends of friends. To this day, nothing has ever stuck because you can’t shake the “what-ifs” from your consciousness.

3 years from the day Namjoon left, you find yourself far back in line at the grocery store. They’ve only got 1 cashier open and normally it wouldn’t bother you, but you stupidly overloaded your basket and holding it for more than a few minutes at a time makes your arms ache.

After another few minutes of weightlifting your groceries, you place the basket down again. It’s a harder drop than intended due to your fatigue, however, and a can of beans that had been precariously balancing at the top of the pile starts rolling down the line behind you.

You duck past your fellow linegoers, cussing as you go,  to chase it before a helpful foot finally stops the can in its tracks.

“Finally, thank you!” you exclaim hurriedly, anxious to get back to your place in line and have less eyes on you.

You spare a quick glance up to throw a courteous smile to your oddly-quiet good samaritan and find yourself immediately speechless as well. Quietly, it comes. “Y/N?”

You can’t help but stare when the two of you lock eyes. There’s no way. There’s no way!

“Namjoon.” “Y/N, I–”

A renewed wave of fury courses through you as you contemplate ways to commit murder with only a can of beans. If not for all of the time you spent working on yourself these last few years, you really would have come up with something. Luckily for him, you opt to bottle everything up and swiftly return to your abandoned basket. Nothing you could say or do now would be good for either of you anyway.

That fucker still knows exactly what to do after all of this time. Namjoon leaves you be, quietly watching you hurriedly check out when you finally reach the front of the line. On your way out the door, though, you make sure to turn back one last time to throw him your iciest glare.

You can’t wait to tell your friends about this buffoonery.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵　　‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

You drive home in complete silence as your mind races with even more questions and possibilities than ever before. Where had Namjoon been? Why would he shatter your heart the way he did? Why does he seem ok when you’re not?

The moment you walk through the front door of your apartment, your phone rings. Perfect timing - you need to get the groupchat on a call as soon as possible to share this development and rehash this conversation for the nth time.

When you fish your phone out of your bag, your face pulls itself into a tight scowl. Namjoon’s number had been blocked ages ago, so why is he on your caller ID now? You brace yourself against the kitchen counter, contemplating your options.

Beneath the rage and hurt in your heart, there is an ember of curiosity… You don’t have to hear him out (you do want to hear him), but now’s your chance to get answers. Closure.

The phone almost rings all the way to voicemail before you pick it up and say nothing. Namjoon’s voice is so clear that it’s like you’re in the ferris wheel cabin all over again. “I’m sorry.”

In the comfort of your own home, vitriol laces your words almost immediately. “‘You’re sorry’? That’s all you have to say, you piece of shit? What are you sorry for? Wasting my time? Throwing me out like garbage? Disappearing on who you said was the ‘love of your life’? Making me look like a fool? Making me feel like–”

“I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, but I died, Y/N. I didn’t–”

The explanation is so ridiculous that you can’t help but laugh. “You what?” Namjoon doesn’t raise his voice or return even a fraction of the attitude you’re giving him. He just sounds…sad.

“I swear to you, I’m not lying. Please believe me. I was dead.”

“I wish you were here so I could kill you myself.”

When Namjoon sighs in response, it’s not coming through the receiver. In fact, it’s eerily close - immediately to your left. Namjoon is in front of your very eyes in your home. Like any conscious person, your first reaction is to scream bloody murder and swing. When your loose fist connects with his cheek he stumbles, but doesn’t make a move otherwise. 

He cradles his cheek gingerly. “That was deserved.”

The thought of your ire for Namjoon lessening would have been laughable yesterday. But today? Your bewilderment wins out over all else.

Starting with the obvious: “What are you doing here? Did you follow me?”

At this, Namjoon is quick to raise his hands passively. He speaks slowly, meeting your eyes with a sincerity that you don’t want to admit you’ve missed. “I’m here because you wished me here. I grant wishes.”

Struggling to find the words to reply to this absolutely preposterous conversation, you level him with a skeptical frown and gesture for him to continue.

“I’m a genie.” Namjoon closes his eyes, a plea for you to listen before you judge. “Remember when you won those concert tickets? One in ten thousand odds and you won. Or how you couldn’t parallel park alone, but always managed it when I was in the car? How things didn’t go your way at work until you vented to me and suddenly they did?” 

Arms folded across your chest, you roll your eyes. “Luck exists, Joon.”

“Remember when Hoagie was sick and the vet said he’d only have a few more months?” 

Hoagie, your beloved ancient cat had fallen ill a few years ago. Cancer, the veterinarian said. An unwinnable prognosis. For what it’s worth though… “He died last year,” you clarify quietly.

“Oh.” Namjoon winces apologetically. “Sorry, I-I didn’t mean–”

“Whatever,” you snap, surprising even yourself. You don’t know what to think or feel right now. “It’s fine.”

“Listen, Y/N. I granted those because you wanted those things. I loved you and I gave you everything, always.”

You take a deep breath in an attempt to sort everything racing through your mind, but it doesn’t work. Nothing makes sense.

It’s all you can do to just go with the first thing that rests on your tongue. “You loved me?”

“I love you. I loved you then, I love you now. Always have and always will.”

“Except for when you ‘die’?”

Despite the tension in the air and your mocking use of air quotes, Namjoon chuckles. “Except for when I die. It’s because I gave you forever. Can I sit?”

You stay planted in the kitchen, but nod. This interaction can’t get any weirder anyways (you hope).

It takes only 4 paces for Namjoon to clear the space between the kitchen just off of your entryway and your living room. Just like it always has. He plunks gracelessly onto the center couch cushion. Just like he always has.

“It’s always been like this; I’ve always been like this. Born with it. But nobody told me the rules. I didn’t really know if there’d be consequences for giving it to someone else.”

“It?”

“Forever.”

“Forever was 3 years ago.” Uncaring how bitter you sound, you move to pour yourself a glass of wine. Namjoon sits quietly, contemplating, and doesn’t speak until you’ve taken a healthy sip.

“I granted your wish to be with me forever and that night I went to sleep. I didn’t wake up for 3 years, Y/N. And I didn’t - I didn’t know that would happen. Please, forgive me?”

This is all too much to take in, even with alcohol assisting you. Suddenly every other emotion that you struggled to rid yourself from all this time melted away and all that’s left is the hurt. You were hurting so badly and no one could understand. No one except, apparently, Namjoon.

“You ‘granted my wish’ for ‘forever’? You fell asleep? You…love me? I! Loved you! Joon, you left me! You spun me around your finger for years and then you just disappeared! And what, because of some ‘magic’ I’m supposed to just forgive you?” Your voice cracks just a little as the room gets blurry with tears that you didn’t know you had left. Almost a whisper, you ask, “Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

For the first time in 3 years, Namjoon rushes to you, pulling you into an embrace even as you half-heartedly try to push him away. He coos when a weary sob rips its way out of you. “You really think I’m that stupid?”

Namjoon cradles your head with a large, warm hand. A kind hand.

“You said you wanted to be with me forever. I’ll be here forever, Y/N. I can’t die. Er, I don’t think I can. And I couldn’t imagine anyone else that I’d want to spend forever with, so when you asked…”

Sniffling as you finally push your bodies apart, you shake your head. “You can’t die? I can’t die?”

“Not unless you wish it.”

A long pause. Your mind has never been louder.

“I wish you’d give me some space to figure this out.” Instantly, Namjoon releases you and takes a step back. His poker face is masterful, but he can’t hide the melancholy he feels from your senses. At least he’s still enough of a gentleman to respect your boundaries, you guess.

“I understand,” he finally says. “I understand and I’m sorry, Y/N. When you’re ready, you can always call me. Wish me here if you want - I’ll never be upset about that.”

Your limbs are screaming to return to Namjoon’s embrace, but things aren’t that easy. Can never be that easy. Love lost and immortality certainly don’t help.

It makes the pain worse for sure, but you need time to process what’s happened in the last 10 minutes.

“I wish you would go home, Joonie.” 

 “Y/N,” he replied carefully. “Please do not test ‘forever’. Test me, but not the ‘forever’, ok?”

“Grant my wish, Namjoon.” 

One last wistful “I love you” and Namjoon magics himself away. 

Hopefully it doesn’t take 3 more years to tell him you love him back and you’ll love him forever. Even though you already know.

[wwounu]

to the moon | wen junhui

—it’s a small world, an even smaller universe, and meeting junhui made it all the worthwhile. through dreams, wishing stars and memorising constellations, with him, everything felt alright.

alternatively, a soulmate au where you can meet and interact with your soulmate in your dreams, though for you, you always meet your soulmate on the moon

pairing: junhui x reader + soulmate!au

word count: 5.3k

warning: mild angst, happy ending

note: so this was the 5.3k mess i’ve been on about a week ago! i can’t remember when i’ve written this much, i’m so exhausted after writing so much... dedicated to @letsseehowhappyyouare ~ i’ll keep my message short to save the emotional-ness, but happy birthday and one year friendship anniversary!! i still remember when you wrote junhui’s name on the window while you were going home, kinda makes me emotional thinking about it hehe... you mean the world to me, i hope you know that! i and junhui (and hao!) love you so so much — thank you for being in my life bella, i hope you stay safe and happy just as you deserve and i hope you enjoy this if you go out drinking i will come and personally fight you istg

The boy on the moon, you recall his name.

You gave him that name upon the first meet, hoping — waiting — for his name to be said. The night was crystal clear like your memory, the air feeling a little different.

Pitch black horizons, auroras, delicate lights you could prick with your finger, a plain surface of grey, that view of the earth that took a while to get used to.

“Beautiful isn’t it,”

His first words were, fascinated as he was confused, sat on the pearl rock as his legs kick themselves.

“What are you standing there for?” Asks he, not turning around to confirm your presence. “Come sit next to me.”

A force pulls you closer to him, legs working themselves to take a seat next to him. The boy sighs contently, staring at the view in front.

“Are you surprised? By me, I mean.”

Closer inspection on him, you note the youthfulness in his eyes, the colour vibrant, skin radiating a slight glow — your friends told you it was the soulmate effect, a made-up term that was usually a slight filter to ‘lure’ you to your fated one.

His face was delicately scattered with tiny moles, cheeks round and bangs falling over his eyes. “No,” you answer, “I’m pretty content with what I see. What about you?”

He shuffles a little, leaning back a little as two fingers reach his chin, processing. His fingers shift to make a rectangle shape like a picture frame.

Staying in that position, his lips curl. “I wish I would take a picture right now.”

With you speechless, he shuffles next to you, staring straight ahead. That hopeless look takes up his face once more, admiring the starry sky.

“You just missed it,” he calmly exclaims, “there was a meteor shower — you should’ve seen it, those don’t happen often.”

“Seems like you know this place pretty well.” You decide to say, fiddling with your fingers.

Only a sad smile plays on his face. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“I’m guessing you’re older than me?”

The boy nods, “By a few years.”

“How long have you waited?”

“Enough,” his short answer, followed with a soft grin, takes you by surprise. In sorts, it seems almost relaxing; reassuring. “Doesn’t it matter that you’re here with me?”

Your silence serves as an agreement with him, staring down at your planet rotating.

The boy calls your name, causing you to turn. He remained looking forward, eyes fixed to the dark void. By the glance of his arms, he was tense, but his voice remained with a watery flow.

“Happy birthday,” he says quite weakly, “I’m so glad I found you.”

And it faded to black, and you woke up.

Fast forward to two winters later, where the boy on the moon lost his name.

“I don’t know a lot of people who get to meet their soulmate on the moon,” confesses the boy, tufts of hair a faded purple, going through his hair-dye craze.

“Really?”

“Do you know anyone who meets their other half on the moon?”

After some thinking, you shake your head. “Seems like we’re the only ones. It’s our universe.”

“And ours for a long time,” smiles the boy, his grin everlasting, “Y/N and Junhui’s universe… Pretty.”

Before you agreed with him, your heart picks up pace, head turning to your soulmate like an owl. “That’s your name?”

The question’s execution was similar to an exclamation, resulting in Junhui’s face to look as dumbfounded as you. Shyly, he stammers, “I’ve never told you my name?”

“I’ve been waiting since day one,” dazed, you stare at him.

“You should’ve told me…”

“It only took me two years, I’ll be patient.”

You gently punch his arm, leaning to his side. He points out an area of the world where clouds are bundling themselves to create the first snow, observing those areas.

Junhui.

Pretty.

For the boy on the moon, he never understood why there were skies without stars until you came. He connected the dots and realised that for you, they happened without a sky.

But the moment you fluttered your eyes and revealed the celestial scene, you meet eyes with your soulmate’s back, the black void splashed with blue and purple hues, making your world feel less lonelier.

On cue, Junhui turns his head, blonde hair sprinkled with stardust, eyes speaking to you. He stares at you as if he can seep into your consciousness.

At this stage, he doesn’t even need to tell you to come — you just do.

Once sat, he swings his legs. Like routine, he asks, “How are you-“

Your head hides into his chest, a pain too heavy to bear. Tears spill, heavy as they fall and heavier as they drop to Junhui’s shirt.

“Please tell me I’m enough,” a weak plead escapes, “tell me it’s going to be okay, Jun, tell me I’ll be okay…”

Junhui’s hand protectively hugs you, pulling you closer. His other hand rests on your head, playing with strands of your hair. They move, however, coming down to your ear, then delicately tracing your jawline, creeping up your cheek, a thumb caressing tears away.

“You are enough.” Junhui says quietly, loud enough for you to hear. “Say it,”

“Say what?”

“‘I am enough’. I want to hear the words from you.”

“But…” Your voice fades as you take a deep look into Junhui’s eyes, all the reassurance and care within, a galaxy of its own forming. “I… I am enough,” you repeat, frail.

“Again. ‘I am enough’.”

“I am enough,” this time you try to give some energy, tears still forming through saying the words.

Junhui gets closer, noses being hairs-width from touching. “You are enough. Everything will be okay in the end, I’m sorry for everything that’s going on right now, you don’t deserve it. I wish you knew how valued you were, because you are.”

Inhaling a sharp breath, you hold onto Junhui longer, desiring that this dream world of yours could be permanent.

“Do you think I can stay in this dream forever?”

“You’ll have to wake up one day.”

“What if I don’t what to?”

“Sometimes waking up could be for the better… Hey, look.”

You reposition your head to look at the blackness, a shimmering line flying past, tearing that darkness away.

A wishing star.

“It’s a wishing star,” Junhui states, “make a wish.”

Wishing on stars was considered as something childish, though you found yourself with eyes shut, stuck in silence. Opening your eyes, Junhui helps you to sit upright, his hand above yours to reassure his existance.

“What did you wish for?”

I wish that you were my reality; I wish that you were mine.

You gaze at him and he’s gazing back, a rare moment to capture. His eyes slanted, he waits as you process your answer, conflicted.

“Something I can never have,”

“Never?”

“Never.”

“Never ever?” Junhui’s eyes bulge wide.

“Alright, you’re sounding like a child,” groans you in a bad attempt to hide that twitching smile, which Junhui could only grin at.

He looks back at the darkness, fingers tracing the moon’s surface. “Whatever it is, it’ll come true. I know it.”

To be honest, you had some hope too, because this sky without stars turned out having a star after all.

And the wishing star was an added bonus.

It was the first meteor shower that you experienced when the boy on the moon stole something precious.

“I wish we had popcorn,” states Junhui, the show in front taking his breath away, “or would sweets be nice? I’d like something sugary.”

“Junhui, you are seriously a five year old.” You laugh at his childish state, in the same awe as he was in.

The male shrugs, passing the comment with a grin, “And yet you’re still here.”

“Of course I am. I can’t change that… Unless I never sleep-“ Junhui and you begin to ponder that idea, questioning if insomniacs get to see their soulmate often.

It opened up a lot of odd topics.

Soon, you distract your attention to the shower of stars shooting past, every shimmer and twinkle in high definition. Nothing could ever beat a moment like this.

“Beautiful…” Your lips speak for you, immersed in the sparkle of lights.

Junhui nonchalantly replies, “Yeah,” not looking at the meteor shower but at something else, just as dazed as you were, “so beautiful…” His lips spread into a grin as he watches your smile.

“Did you see the constellations over there? It looked a little bit like frog! Jun-“

Turning, your smile dissolves into a choked gasp judging by the close proximity you were to Junhui. Breath hitched, you could only notice the way he was staring at you.

Naturally, your hand moves to thread your fingers between his hair, an ash grey illusioned to look like silver strands peeking under. He nuzzles his head into your hand like a kitten, content with the touch.

You were scared he was going to disappear when his eyes remained closed until they open themselves slowly, more hesitant but trying their best to control his emotions.

“Can…“ He stammers, scared to raise his voice a little higher. “Could I?”

Without a hint of hesitation your head nods, the moment feeling more real than anything in your life; Junhui’s lips kissed against yours.

You learnt a few things through that kiss. Although it felt like practically nothing, the flutters in your chest still erupted, not able to contain themselves. How could an unreal kiss feel so… Real?

It’s one kiss, then another, spreading into small innocent pecks, not knowing how to act afterwards. But you were sure happy.

Like that, years flew with a breeze.

The eclipse was stunning — with the boy on the moon it felt beautiful — but the collision of two celestial bodies meant danger.

He’s all grown up; your boy on the moon has grown up.

Junhui matured — sort of — over time, his life finally waiting to happen in his dream college. He told you everything about it, plans, facilities, teachers, his responsible adult-self being able to buy chocolate bars whenever he wants at 2am.

On the outside, there were things that have changed, but inside? He was still yours.

He still swung his legs every-time he sat down, his expression never changed whenever he saw a rocket or asteroid, he never stopped being clingy either.

You smiled at his every word, comforted him through every cry, laughed at every joke. You knew each other inside and out at this rate, no barriers or obstacles.

Sad truth was, you were growing up.

You weren’t the giddy, head-in-the-clouds high-schoolers anymore, nor die-hard fans of something together because there was nothing else to worry about in the world.

“Care to tell me what’s on your mind?” The male’s chin props against your shoulder.

“You.” You answer, some grey area surrounding the thought, but you didn’t go further.

“About my handsome looks? My amazing charm? My intimidating gaze?” He quickly sits up, squinting his eyes to make a point. Snorting, you push him away slightly.

“Go write yourself a fanfic,” you heave, staring at your planet that you never got used to looking, watching every change and every weather change from a strange viewpoint.

Junhui settles into your side again, trapping you in his arms. “It’s the eclipse today.”

“How do you always know what’s on in the universe every single time?”

“I look at the sky often.” You react with a disapproved look. “It’s true! I love reading about astronomy and stay up to date with the moon’s cycles… Before you say anything, I’m not a nerd, I simply just love the stars!”

You break into laughter, you feel some relief in your chest through how well Junhui knows you, reminiscing old days when you were too shy to speak a single word because he did most of the talking.

“I wasn’t going to say you were a nerd,” by the pout on Junhui’s face, you could tell he was expecting it, “I think dreamer would suit you better.”

“Make that the two of us…” He replies, the kindest smile you’ve ever seen on him. “I’ve wondered what the moon looks like during an eclipse.”

“I’m guessing it’ll be dark, some would say it would be red, wouldn’t it?”

“True… But you’ll be here with me through it all, right?”

Eyes placed on Junhui for a while, your smile wobbles, eyes turning sad as his face begins to turn dark from the eclipse beginning to merge.

“Yes,” you linger on your words, the moon completely sinking into darkness, “yes I will.”

Let’s face it.

The both of you knew at that point that you would never get to cross paths in real life.

Like a blackhole, you and the boy on the moon eventually became nothing.

Come college, and everything seems to spiral downward from there.

Commitments break, people change, sleep isn’t the same anymore — your new life consisted of things you had no choice but to adjust to.

One of them being how often you saw Junhui.

Piece by piece your dreams lasted shorter, on some days you would only get to see him for a bit, on other days, you never got to see him at all.

The pair of you felt like you were at other sides of the moon, an invisible connection saying that you were there, but never going the full way in hopes to save the disappointment later.

That was the problem. You got used to it.

Maybe there would be a day everything will simmer down and go back to the glory days, but it wasn’t happening soon.

Scarily enough, you loved Junhui — so, so much — yet on more recent occasions during the dreams he wouldn’t be in, you began to wonder if he cared as much as you did.

He was your only one from the start, but who knows what goes on during his day, his other life, his real life, the life without you.

And that’s when you wish to turn back the clock. Where you wished that you were by his side through day one, that you could’ve tried to support him more, wishing absurd things such as meeting in real life, or having that once moment where you two are aware that you’re real — wishing to see Junhui in real life to know that it isn’t a dream but real.

That he’s real.

Yet to wish things like only deserved laughter from others.

So every time a wishing star would shoot past, you would wish that Junhui would come back to you soon. You counted each shooting star from them, in your dreams and in real life — 239 and counting — hoping that one day the moon will grant it.

Even if it took the sun a million years to align with the moon to reunite with the boy on the moon, you were always willing to wait for him.

While he used have you in his dreams, the moon always held fractures of him.

It’s been a year, almost two, since you last remembered seeing Junhui. Pieces would always come into your head, though each time would be a bright blur, like being blinded by a light.

You lost your track of sleep since then. On most days, they’d only last for short amounts of time (naps included) — hell, four hours would be a miracle — hence the other reason why you never got to see him.

Whenever you dreamed, he wasn’t there.

One by one your friends united with their soulmates, only leaving you with meeting yours on an empty moon. The space felt bigger when he was gone, stars dimmed their shine — their light fading — his voice quietly echoed in the back of your head each time you came back.

Tonight was like any other; the moon visible from the cold outside you choose to stop and stare at, shivering slightly. Seated on a nearby bench, hands buried in pockets, your mind lingers on the round disco ball in the sky.

Soon, your legs kick and swing up and down, reminding you of a boy who used to do the same. It took some thought, but your eyes met the slivery light against the night sky.

“Hi moon,” you begin talking, cold puffs of air forming at each huff, “how have you been? I haven’t looked at you in a while, it feels weird looking up at you when I’m so used to looking at the earth from there…”

Chuckling to yourself for chatting with an inanimate object, you proceed.

“Do you think that you can do something for me? Pretty please?” You add a pause, as if waiting for a reply, holding in a breath before saying, “I want to send a message to… Well, you know who. I keep wishing and wishing on stars but then I thought to myself, why not ask where it all started? So here I am. Please send this to Junhui, moon... For me.”

First, you clear throat, heart heavier than ever just as the moon becomes your source of focus, hope, a lifeline.

“Junhui, it’s me. It’s been a while. Are you doing okay? I hope you are, I hope you’re the happiest you are right now. Lately I found myself thinking about you again. I can’t sort them into good or bad thoughts, but they’re of you. I wonder if it’s lonely when you dream, I wonder if you live each day happily without me, I wonder if you’re missing me the way I miss you, I… I really miss you.”

Glossy eyes form through the tears threatening to fall, but you couldn’t strip your eyes away from the moon, it was practically killing you. This burden, this guilt, the feelings you selfishly claimed.

“Every time I look at the moon… I think of you. Always. My moon boy — my boy on the moon — so carefree and full of colour, I don’t understand how you do it. The galaxy must love you, because every time you’d be there, their colours shone the most. Remember when it used to be ours? That dream that happened on a winter’s night, the first time I heard your name? It was all ours. Ours. I wanted it to be you and I until the end, but here we are now.”

Although smiling felt bittersweet, you felt the closure was enough for you. The message was coming to end, feelings tied up in a present box, concealed with a pretty ribbon.

“You were the best thing that happened to me; you are the best thing that ever happened to me, Junhui. God, what do I have to do to see you without it feeling so distant, or like a blur… I hate it. I want to see you, I still want you — it’s so hard to breathe — Come back, please, come back to me-“

Hand clutched on your chest, you hide your face to let the tears fall as you try and settle your breaths, the world shaking underneath you. A face stained with tears, you decide to sit up, the glow of the moon still radiating the same shine as before.

“This is where I have to go now. I think that wraps up everything in my head. Thank you Junhui, for being my boy on the moon, for being my moon, for being the whole world I adored. To another life, my love.”

Formally saying goodbye you now stand, walking away.

There was a change in breeze as you continued, the wind directly hitting your eyes, tears forming for a second time. You curse over this, view blocked as your hands roam around your face, aimlessly walking.

But in doing that, your body hits against another, the shove quite powerful that you almost lose balance as you walk past.

You didn’t have any energy to apologise, though the corner of your eye catches the stranger’s body turn, the sound of footsteps approaching closer to you.

“Excuse me,”

A meek voice, belonging to a male figure, makes you turn. The moon captured his features well, even though you didn’t have the confidence to look at him straight in the eye, only noticing the soft hazel hair shine, the luminosity covering a layer of tiny stars within.

“I just wanted to say sorry for that, and…” His voice fades into nothing, “Are you crying?”

Upon that quick statement, you hide your face once more, sniffing. “It’s nothing. It’s, uh, my fault anyway… I was the one who ran into you.”

“Can I do anything for you?”

“No, it’s alright,”

“I don’t know about you, but I have nowhere to go — I won’t be able to sleep well at night knowing I couldn’t help someone who needs it.”

Going over his words carefully, you take the stranger’s offer, convinced that it would ruin his day if you rejected him.

“We can sit, if you want.”

You can imagine the smile on the stranger’s face as you accept his offer, walking to the nearest bench and facing the moon again. Don’t look at it, you warn yourself, it’ll just remind you everything about him again. Alternatively, you keep your eyes concentrated to the floor.

“So…” The stranger begins. “Not to pry on you, you don’t even have to tell me, but what happened? It’s good to let feelings out.”

Focusing on the way he gently kicked his legs, your mind slowly drifts and your mouth automatically answers for you. “Just… Cutting ties with my soulmate. It’s been pretty rough.”

“Didn’t work out?”

“More like I didn’t make an effort to meet in the middle with him… I let my selfish insecurities take over and it ruined everything. He doesn’t deserve someone so cruel. I got so lucky and I ruined my chances.”

Sympathetically, the stranger sighs, humming slightly. “I don’t think you’re cruel.”

“That’s easy to say when you don’t know me.”

“Hey, you recognised and accepted the thing you found wrong in you and knew it was taking an affect in your relationship. To do that is… Admirable. Was he accepting about you wanting to call it off?”

“I…” Your eyelashes bat to the moon, instantly regretting once you whip your head back down. “I didn’t get a response, per se…”

“Well, I think it’s important to see how he responds. He may be accepting towards it, but he might just be hiding the fact that you aren’t thinking about him when he wants to make it work. But I’m no love doctor, you should just give him that chance to speak. I hope everything from then on goes well between you two.”

You can only hum, considering his advice. It was something you needed to hear after a long time.

Rather than giving him a response, you curve the conversation a bit. “You said something about giving help to those needing it… What’s that about?”

An embarrassed laugh slips out of the male and his legs stop swinging, shyly burying his heels into the ground. “This may sound absurd, but I strongly believe in helping out anyone I see. It’s a bit of a personal thing.”

You don’t mean to snort but you do, intrigued with what this man had to say for himself. “Why do you strongly believe it?”

“Because of my soulmate,”

The comment keeps you silent, chest tightening over the words. Needless to say, the stranger went on, now spilling his feelings on the already messy page.

“My soulmate was a dream, honestly. No one in my life accepted me so much and cared for me the way they did, but at some point everything began to change. My soulmate began to change. I knew them so well that I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t want to overthink it. I trusted and waited for them to come to me.”

“Did they?”

“Waiting was my biggest regret. It only made things die over time, I don’t even see my soulmate anymore. It worries me if they’re taking care of themselves. It worries me that they hate me for not asking them for them to break their walls. I never got to help the soulmate I love so much and I feel like dying everyday over the one action I could’ve done to save the both of us… I related to your story so much because all the things I said to you would probably be what I would say to my soulmate — that you shouldn’t carry all the blame, that as long as we build on mistakes, everything will less messy than before… That… That although all of this happened, I don’t hate them. I’m still waiting for the day I can get to say those words.”

You catch a quiet hitch of breath from the stranger, probably holding in his breath to make it unnoticeable that he’s affected by this.

“How long have you been waiting?”

“Enough,” the man lingers, “but for my soulmate, I’ll always wait.” A smile now is placed on his face, you guess, his tone much lighter. “I miss having dreams of stargazing with them and telling dumb facts about the constellations we see,” he sighs, “I’m pretty sure if we were still together, I’d talk the night away about everything I learnt in astronomy.”

“Really? Where do you meet your soulmate when you dream?”

“Ah, you might not believe me…”

“Doubt it.”

“Space.”

“Space?” You jaw mentally drops in your head, a little shocked that you finally met someone who had the same experience as you, but you decide not to add on. “I heard it’s super rare to have dreams in there. Is it always space?”

“Yeah, which is even more rare, because people don’t have their dreams everyday in the galaxy as often as I do.”

“That’s really cool,” you finally finish, the galaxy making you think again, suddenly quiet.

You feel a nudge, only a faint brush, on your shoulder, followed by the man’s voice again, a little sleepy.

“Don’t you think it’s so divine?” He says, the context not involved as you still stare at the floor.

“What is?” Hums you.

“The moon. This is the first time it shone this bright.”

Now lifting your head, you understand the male’s point. The white light looked like a torch light with bits of silver sparkling through. An easy laughs slips out of the other as if his cheeks were permanently stuck.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

The blood in your body turns cold. The moon only shone brighter, the scene looking like one that has been stopped in time; as if time had froze.

Scared. You were scared to turn around. The cold blood turns into a rapid heartbeat, guiding its way into your neck, pulse beating at a dangerous rate.

With caution, you slowly move your head to the right, the situation feeling more unreal as you study the man by your side, his tragic love story just as tragic as yours, or what you both thought.

You could already tell it from the voice — it was at a lower octave than when you heard it the first time, but the breath between words, the small pause, the way it ended on a higher tone as if in delight and admiration.

It was captured in his eyes — you worked your way down from his starlit, shimmery brown hair falling over his eyes — the wide eyes staring ahead, eyelashes long and pupils looking glossy, small beauty marks jotted on his face — under his eye, his cheeks, his top lip — enough to create a constellation, his lips, agape, corners curled slightly to expose his grin similar to a child’s, his side profile finishing with a prominent outline from the light source and jaw that lost fat and grew defined.

“You,” you gasp, another pain coming through your chest.

The stranger turns, confused as to what you mean before you get to the point before he does.

Junhui.

“Y/N?” The other stumbles his words, confused.

“It’s-“ You clumsily reach your hands to his face, cupping his cheeks delicately. Although you tried to keep it in, it was too much to bear, let alone understand. “It’s you, you’re real-“

“I’m real, I’m real,” Junhui reassures, teary face looking like he’s feeling the same pain as you do, “I’m here Y/N, it’s okay...”

“Do you know,” you sob, “how much it hurts?”

“I know and it’s alright, we’re here. You and I-“ He chokes up a hiccup, tears rolling down his face hot when he wipes away yours, “God, it hurts ten times more to see you cry, I wish I was there for you — I’m so sorry Y/N-“

In return, you guide your thumbs across his cheek, moving his bangs out of the way and drying his eyes. “No, Junhui, it isn’t your fault okay? You said it, we see our mistakes and move on from them. We let go of what we hold on…”

“You,” chokes Junhui another time, “wanted to cut ties with me? I was waiting for you Y/N, for so long, I couldn’t last a day without you.”

“I’m sorry, I was being selfish with myself again,” You hold Junhui tight, “you were right, I should’ve made one last effort to make this break or make itself again and instead, I cowered out in both options because the pain was too much… Realising it, an unsaid goodbye would’ve been more painful…”

Your hearts remained to beat rapidly, but the tears came out less, leaving two soulmates hugging on a cold bench, silent as the winds blow. There was no explanation as to why you both cried so much — happiness, perhaps? Sadness? — but it felt like a mutual thing between you.

“What do we do now?” Junhui pushes a hair out of your eyes, sadly smiling through dried tears. His tone, shy, asks, “Can we… Make up for the years we’ve missed?”

Without hesitation you nod more than you ever could, pressing your face into Junhui’s chest.

“We can try that,”

After breaking the hug, your number is exchanged with Junhui’s, briefly discussing the chances you’d meet again, hoping you’d meet tomorrow.

Lastly, you had to say your goodbyes. An emotional night; both holding happiness and sadness. Junhui kisses your cheek, silently translating take care despite saying it constantly and reminding you text him.

Bashful of the action, you greet your goodbyes to Junhui, a grin painting your face.

Maybe this time things will mend themselves.

“Y/N?”

Your body turns once you and Junhui are at a distance from each other. He’s glowing, you first observe, in awe that this was real and not some painting.

You’re certain he wasn’t moving his lips, however the gaze from his eyes spoke from themselves, the message strongly radiating to you.

He didn’t need to say anything; he just knew.

Understanding, your head signals the slightest nod, followed with your curling lips before you break the contact, walking away from the events that happened this night.

Going back felt familiar — likewise, this was always considered as your second home — and there he was, sat on the white rocky ground, legs swinging as he memorises his gallery of stars one by one, observing each.

He turns the same way his childish self always has, as if nothing has happened, staring straight into your eyes. A fond expression; warm, sweet, tender. Loving.

Junhui keeps his eyes on you, every memory of you and him coming back to him. He’s waited for so long, it was time he had his happy ending.

“You’re here,”

Junhui can only smile.

“I never left.”

The boy on the moon had found his universe once more.

[arcanny]

Ephemeral

Ephemeral

.

genre: romance [angst fluff]

au: NonIdol!Jaemin

word count: 1.6K

content warning: character death and bad grammar (english is not my first language)

author note: i’m very new to tumblr, it would be nice if you left a comment, a note or even reblogged it. this is my very first oneshot and it was in the draft for long so I brought it out. hope you enjoy reading ! (the header is too big for my desktop theme i’m gonna fix it soon! for now i just advice you (if you read on desktop website; to zoom in and then my header won’t be so annoying hoping it helps)

(adj) lasting for a very short time.

I nearly startled in my seat when a new sound pierced through the deafening silence. Steps and breaths followed by a small cough. I gazed up and realized I wasn’t the only one in the train coupé. Opposite in the plush seats sat a boy. He ran a hand through his blonde hair with a striking streak of blue hair disheveled on his forehead, sniffled with his cute nose, and gave me picture-perfect smile. On his white t-shirt, the print said over there, and he did look over at me.

“You are staring,” He said.

All of the sudden my cheeks felt warm, they would be rosy red.

“You are staring” I replied as I let the defense position take control over my choice of words.

His eyebrow was raised for a short moment before he smirked.

“You are worth looking at.”

—

Two weeks went by and Jaemin and I were together at least seven days out of the 14 days. He continually made me do things that I didn’t even dare to do before. In the public swimming pool, he made a jump from the highest diving board. The sinking you get in the stomach when you stand several meters over the pool’s surface and look down at the pit of it. The sinking feeling typically goes away as soon as you hit the water’s surface. That was not the case for me. For when I swam up through the clear chlorinated water, there stood a beaming Jaemin who would pat my head. He made the sinking feeling continue.

—

I sat with Jaemin in his dining room. The light from the ceiling lamp shone down on the food in the otherwise dark room. There was an awkward silence. Jaemin smiled at me whilst his brother shook his head. The brother gave him a small nudge.

“Is it now wrong to smile at one’s girlfriend” He grinned.

He always did it; he always had to break the silence. I took a bite of my plate, the food burned down my throat.

“It tastes delicious,” I said.

“It’s good you like it, Jaemin told me it’s your favorite dish.” His mother said.

She nodded towards him as he sheepishly grinned while rubbing his neck. He then coughed and the silence came again. Now the brother wasn’t the slightest irritated - he was worried. He looked over at his mother who just looked at the ground mumbling something. Nobody said anything. Butterflies started erupting in my stomach, not the usual colorful tranquil ones. These were dark and panicking in there.

—

Jaemin followed me home. The moon illuminated the small sideway we took as the silence overfilled everything. You could clearly hear the first raindrop that reached the asphalt. It sounded like an earthquake when Jaemin cleared his throat. Or was it a cough? I was reminded by the dinner and the sudden mood shift. The butterflies breaking out of their cocoons.

“Jaemin?” I asked. He froze.

“What happened earlier?”

The sound of his strides became louder and louder, mixed with the splashing sounds by the raindrops. He didn’t say anything, just stared out in the rain, raindrops trickling down his face.

“Jaemin what happened?”

My hand pushed his shoulder the hot tears pressing behind my eyes.

“Just…say something”

He finally stopped and looked at me with a piercing gaze.

“Say we always will be together,” He said.

“What?”

“Y/N, say we always will be together.”

The cold raindrops dripped from his body, but not even a hurricane could move him out of place. Not until he had what he wanted; me.

“We’ll always be together,” I promised.

—

“Do you believe in life after death?” Jaemin asked me once, we’ve had been together for almost a year. Sunlight streamed through the windows, it reached his dreamy eyes framed by long lashes and his astronomic telescope on the table. He also had luminous stars in the ceiling and prints of the universe on the curtains. I liked that about his room.

“I would like to believe, in life after death. I don’t like the thought of it all just ends,” I replied after thinking my answer it through. My voice was the only sound that broke the silence.

“I’m not Christian,” He said, “- but I would like to believe in life after death too,”

I shrugged and asked:

“How would Paradise look like?”

“I don’t know. As long as you are there.”

He showcased me a toothy smile, and a warm feeling grew in my body.

—

One night Jaemin and I wanted to watch the meteor shower together. We were laying in my back-yard waiting. A small cloud of steam formed when Jaemin coughed. He was there waiting intently. Like a little kid waiting for permission to take a bite of a cake. My hands fiddled with a brown withered leaf and pulled my hands into my body as the cold feeling started to spread in my body. I was just about to lose my patience and asking if we could stay outside but then Jaemin pointed.

“There!” He shouted with a high-pitched voice. I laughed by his excitement.

I did not see the first shooting star although it did not matter considering there went a few seconds before a new one appeared on the night sky. It continued. Thousands of stars flew across the night sky, like random blobs of paint littered across the sky as it infinite canvas. We were laying for a long time whilst Jaemin eyes were glued to the night sky, wide open, whereas mine were always fluttering waiting to let me shut them.

“Y/N, you can’t fall asleep.”

I rolled onto my side.

“I’m so tired”

However, Jaemin insisted until I promised to stay up with him and watch the meteor shower.

—

The morning after I was awakened by Jaemin, he shook me, and his facial expression was enough to send me trembling. He trashed roughly around in the blankets and his right arm was sticky and sweaty on top of his right leg which was red swollen. With shaking hands, I called an ambulance.

When the ambulance finally arrived, everything was chaos. I had no figures on how many men were running around in luminous jackets, and I tried not to catch a glimpse of Jaemin who laid half-unconscious on the stretcher.

The short trip to the hospital felt like hours. I sat and stared out the window at the tailgate. The world continued. Jaemin laid on the stretcher. At one point I tried to squeeze his hand, but he didn't squeeze back and it made me cry even more

“What is going on?” I asked his mum. She took a deep shuddering breath and looked at the ceiling. I could not see if she was trying to hold her tears back.

“When you have… “Her eyes shut in a concentrating way whilst she continued: “…Lung cancer. When you have lung cancer there is a bigger probability for deep vein thrombosis in the legs.”

There, the mild smell of cleanliness in the hospital went from being pleasant to awful, and the sound of the nurses' clicking shoes outside became unbearable. I was sweating and freezing at the same time and I could not find the normal rhythm in my breathing. Lung cancer. It sounded so wrong in my ears, yet it was the truth. Now I finally realized why Silas insisted on the meteor shower, why he was coughing all the time. I got nausea, I had to clamp a hand over my mouth and stare into the wall so I would not to throw up. Jaemin has Lung cancer.

“Lung cancer?”

My voice thin, so thing it cracked, the tears silently falling down my cheeks. Jaemin’s mother shifted in her seat seconds later crying in her hands.

“He did not tell you?”

I shook my head.

“No”

—

He left us a week ago, I wasn’t even there. He died of his lung cancer which I did not even know about until a week ago. All I know is the phone call from his brother.

“He is dead,” He said.

I guess he just couldn't bear to say more. That is understandable.

I promised Jaemin not to be afraid of new things, but I’m scared. I’m scared of the life I lived before him.

In his notebook, which he had called his will, I received this message:

Dear y/n I love you

Dots started appearing before my eyes as I stumbled around the floor. Trying to stay conscious.

—

I just went out and spread his ashes. They would have buried him, but I told them I would not let him rot. Jaemin was too ethereal to rot in the underground, he belonged to the celestial world like the twinkling star of life he was. That wish is probably the only thing I've said all week. Otherwise, I just nodded. I nod to people when they say they are condoling. I nod to my mother when she glanced sees me with a pitiful look in the eyes sighing.

I don't know what else to do. But I didn't nod as Jaemin flew away with the wind; I cried.

—

I bike home. It's a beautiful day, but it's as if I don't feel the beauty. The sun shines on my face but I can’t feel its warmth. The wind whispers in my neck, but it’s not pleasant. My mind is too clouded to see the truck coming through the sideway. I’m too slow. And just before I hit the truck, I swear I could hear a voice whisper:

“Meet me in Paradise.”

[crumbsispoggers]

{Day 8.10}

Nightmare in the truck.

[crumbsispoggers]

{Day 8.6}

After Grians ferality causes him to bite Scott, he is too shocked to process the horror unfolding in front of him.

he doesn't know what to do.

[crumbsispoggers]

{Before The Events}

A photo of Pearl and Grian from when they were younger as kids.

Merry Christmas to everyone! I decided to draw something for this Christmas Day!

[crumbsispoggers]

CELESTIAL METEOR AU OFFICIAL INTRODUCTION POST

Welcome to the Celestial Meteor Au! This post will act as a brief Introduction to the Au! and also act as the Arc guide for the story!

Inspirations of this Au are from Rhapsoddity's Vigilante Sheriff Au, Hybbart's Rancher Apocalypse Au, and Allies or Enemies: This will be the death of me, a fanfic series on A03 by RedRobyn2

Expect Updates to be slow due to being in School, this is an Au merely for fun!

Basic Preview of the Au:

In a quiet and quaint night in the state of Hermittopia, tragedy strikes as a meteor crashes from the sky, obliterating a few counties in its wake! But that was one casualty, the worst was yet to come

A horrible infection was brought forth from the remnants of the Meteor, and has turned normal people into monstrous crystal growing zombies, and perhaps something more sinister within from the crystals themselves

Follow the story as Grian and the others slowly adapt and change in the brewing apocalypse, and maybe, just maybe, they'll find the cure before it's too late. Or...they succumb to the crystals infection from within.

CURRENTLY ON HIATUS

Before Events (Prologues)

Prologue 1

Childhood Photo 1

Arc 1: The Sun, the Moon and the Stars

Day 1

Day 1.5

Day 1.7

Day 5

Day 8

Day 8.5 PT 1

Day 8.5 PT 2

Day 8.5 PT 3

Day 8.5 PT 4

Day 8.6

Day 8.10

[crumbsispoggers]

{Day 5}

Being too far from any city or town means that the car eventually ran out of gas, and both Scott and Grian had to travel by foot when Grian started to cough during their walk. Hopefully there would be a gas station or a small resting area nearby.

[crumbsispoggers]

{Prologue}

Scott enjoys his pure black coffee, not being able to sleep due to a horrible gut feeling of something wrong turns into drinking coffee after a short call from your brother at another state.

Scene art for Chapter 2 of the Celestial Meteor Au Extra Scenarios and Shenanigans

[crumbsispoggers]

References for the Celestial Meteor Au! Ignore the soulless stare of Grian, he's fine

Extra Info:

Pearl - Half-Elf

Grian - Human (Avian Lineage)

Scott - Elf

[crumbsispoggers]

{Day 8}

oh no.

[crumbsispoggers]

Very Big Announcement I have!

I have an AO3 Account! Yippee! You might expect me to post there because, in fact, there will be content posted there about-

THE CELESTIAL METEOR AU!

The fanfic I will link below will act as the extra content and scenario area for any and all other Celestial Meteor Au content, if you want more content of it!

I will also link my account, if anyone wishes to follow? or subscribe, I'm still new to AO3, so I haven't checked out a lot of how it works yet!

Check the links out! Thank you for the likes, reblogs and comments and support about the au, It makes me smile and brighten up my days!

AO3 Account Link

Celestial Meteor Au (Extra Content and Scenarios) Fanfic

[crumbsispoggers]

{Day 8.5}

Page 2 of the mini comic! Scott is making a very huge mistake, no worries, he will be fine....mostly

[crumbsispoggers]

250 followers DTIYS!

A small celebration for having 250 followers! This is a DTIYS that has no time limit! you may either @ me or add #Crumbydtiys or #CMAUDtiys on Tumblr

thank you for all the notes that I have received over the years, It really makes me feel so proud of how much my art has improved!

[crumbsispoggers]

{Day 8.5}

Oh...that was not a good choice.

Final page of the Mini Comic! Scott is not going to be okay, I lied 😔