#chapter by chapter commentary

[paperlit]

We as a fandom moved way too fast past this:

And this:

[hey-sherry]

"And so I went into the studio," Jordan continued. "And it was very awkward, as I made sounds like 'mmm' and 'ahh'. And then I kissed my hand a whole lot."   

But he got the job done, and now he just hopes that everyone playing the game appreciates all the effort he put into helping make it happen—and keeps his very specific but vital role in the game in mind as they play.

"You think about that," he said. "You mull that over as you run around, you little horny perverts, with your little perverted roleplays, you randy bastards. You think of me."

[graveyard-galaxy]

The way physical violence was focused on and upped in episode 3 really got me thinking specifically about how Ashley actually responds to it. Because, like…

When we start in the flashback at the start of the episode, we get given a clear picture of Renee’s stance on using it as disciplinary action, and for all that she is shitty and cruel and neglectful and spitefully manipulative in every scene that she’s in, one line that she won’t cross with the kids that she’s barely parenting is hitting them, and she tells Andrew as much.

Albeit aggressively, but what she’s saying here is obviously that she doesn’t believe it will make a difference, and that she won’t allow that to be how Andrew is forced to parent Ashley for her. To be fair, it is quite in line with her general methods of getting what she wants usually through manipulation, but it is, perhaps, a single redeeming factor about her parenting style, and represents a line that shouldn’t be crossed.

(It’s also possible indicative of her own childhood, which is interesting considering what her mother had to say about Douglas’s father in the Renee and Douglas vision, but I digress. This isn’t a Renee analysis or apologist post.)

But another piece of backstory that these flashbacks give us is that, perhaps unsurprisingly, Andrew and Ashley lived with their grandparents for a few years, before their actual parents. Renee was kicked out and had no money, so of course Douglas’s parents were left with Andrew and Ashley for an unknown amount of years. And their parenting style was… different. Seemingly not as neglectful as Renee’s, and I do think we get the sense that even if Douglas’s mother is just as much of a doormat as he is, and refuses to stand up to her husband (and given the wife beating mentions, is possibly not in the position to) she does genuinely care about her grandkids. So at their grandparents there’s… parenting. Maybe not good parenting, but still some parenting.

Interacting with the swing in the yard, Andrew recounts a short memory of how exactly his grandfather tended to respond to him (or presumably Ashley) doing anything wrong.

Woohoo, the kids aren’t abandoned, but they’re still blamed for things that aren’t their fault, and they’re beat for their troubles too!

But seriously, this obviously goes to show that before Andrew and Ashley moved in with their parents, physical violence was on the table against them as punishment. Andrew certainly remembers it, and we can speculate to what degree that informs his response to Renee about hitting Ashley later, but in particular, it’s Ashley I’d like to actually focus on here.

I don’t think it’s too big of a logical leap to assume that if Andrew was beaten by his grandfather, so was Ashley, given said grandfather’s horribly misogynistic views and obvious tendency towards beating his wife. And as unfortunate as it would be, I have to wonder… Did Ashley actually respond to this? In some way did she, or perhaps more likely Andrew, ever figure out how to behave to avoid it?

Looking forward to the present day, physical violence hasn’t been properly levelled against her in a while. Andrew supposedly attempts to choke her out in episode 1, but she notes that he wasn’t squeezing hard enough to actually choke her. And they get up in each other’s faces, and they yell, and she has a vision about him straight up killing her, but to some extent all of this is just not quite that far, or a true ultimatum. Never is Ashley actually faced with physical violence as any kind of punishment despite it being noted all the way back in episode 1 that Andrew has physical strength beyond her, as he is able to keep trying to kick the door down where she notes she doesn’t at all have the energy.

It’s a possibility in spirit. Andrew has the physical advantage and he could so easily use that against her, but it’s all presented as a game to Ashley in the first few episodes – one that she thinks Andrew isn’t actually trying at. She’s not even especially afraid of the prospect until the episode 2 Decay vision shows that he’s fully willing to kill her, and at some point in the near future too. That’s still an ultimatum more than it is a direct punishment, but it presents the idea to her that for all she thought he was playing around, no, Andrew would be willing to go there.

And then, this is followed through on in any Decay playthrough where Andrew is willing to grow a spine. He crosses the line that Renee set up, and that gives the moment a lot of narrative weight.

He slaps her, and her expression tells us a lot here. She wasn’t expecting something like this from him either, because of some combination of to not being a punishment she’s actually faced since childhood, Andrew never having gotten like this with her properly before, and how quick and sudden it is. This isn’t just a death threat or potentially far-off vision of him killing her; he’s actually done it now.

Their subsequent conversation is quite interesting too:

"What's with that look? You're the one who put violence on the table."

"...I-!! I didn't mean to............."

"Honestly it's all the same at this point."

Given the characters, we definitely shouldn’t necessarily take their words at face value, but even with that, I do think some part of Ashley is sincere here. When she held the cleaver to his neck, and when she offered a death threat, she still thought that she was just playing. This isn’t any different to Andrew taking his hands to her neck but not pressing hard enough to choke her, to her. She’s back-pedalling quite so hard to try and keep him, of course, this is Ashley we’re talking about… But I also don’t doubt that her sentiment is genuine. She didn’t exactly mean to.

And Andrew’s response tells us exactly why he’s so willing to cross that line. He just doesn’t care! Renee’s dead, so he doesn’t have to care about her rules and policies, and given how cynical he feels towards his life at this point, perhaps he wouldn’t care anyway. If this is a genuine way to get a response from Ashley, then he’ll try it, because for all that his mask of trying for normalcy is still up at this point, this is just between the two of them, where it!s always mattered the least, and as it is, that mask is quickly slipping.

I’d like to note this part of Ashley’s reaction as well, because, well… First we see that same shock as immediately after, but I’ve thought the exact same thing about that second frame, ever time I’ve seen it. With the background and the tears, isn’t this such a Leyley reaction? Such a Leyley expression?

Decay, especially Shots and Such which can follow on from this, is all about Ashley clinging to the Andy and Leyley dynamic to both of their detriments. It changes form as she feels she needs to adapt and find new ways to keep her Andy, but she’s constantly affirming whether or not she has Andy or Andrew because the violence and the hate all comes from Andrew to her, so when she’s continually trying to play Leyley, it keeps coming as a shock.

Andrew slaps her in the car, and she can only react as Leyley would. She never wants to be Ashley, because Ashley never fits into their games, and because Ashley has always been subconsciously rejected by Andrew. Being Ashley would mean facing what Andrew has done here rather than just making petty jokes about it for the rest of the episode and crying like I imagine she would have if her grandfather hit her.

But the cycle of violence only gets worse once Andrew continues to stew in apathy, and as perhaps he realises, that it does get a desired reaction from her. Ashley doesn’t respond in the long term to any threat that he throws, but she’s genuinely scared by the prospect of what him actually killing her means to her, and getting violent against her is a piece of that.

Part of what Shots and Such emphasises is that, even if it never works in the long run, Ashley does respond respond to violence, and that through out all of the ending, it remains Andrew’s way of fighting her.

This doesn’t exactly paint a happy picture of how Andrew regularly treats her. Er… Not that just about anything in Shots and Such is especially happy…

But it once again perpetuates the cycle of violence. Ashley gets actually violent now too, when she can. She makes sex painful for Andrew when she can, because that’s the degree of control she still has as someone who can’t a fight back when Andrew gets physical with her. She’s physically weaker, and with the bathroom lock torn down behind her, she has nowhere to hide. He beats her to short term avail to make himself feel better, and to keep her in line for tiny amount of time, and she gives that right back when she has her own opportunities.

And that’s all without actually talking about the scene of her getting beat.

Ashley’s a terrible person, but this scene is still very genuinely upsetting, because once again, something in her reaction comes across as genuine. She apologises profusely as her only way of even trying to get him to stop, and she goes back to the convenient story of being the scapegoat. She’s the problem, just like how he wants it to be. This doesn’t actually stop any of the heinous stuff she does to him after this point – if anything, it just makes her more desperate to try and exert control back when she gets the chance – but for a short while, it works. She shuts up and leaves him alone. She just makes cookies because that’s all that she can fathom that she’s good for.

Renee was right that hitting Ashley would never fix her behaviour. She was right after her grandfather had presumably done it to her as a young kid, and that was never the attention she needed, and she was right after Andrew crossed the line she set because she’s gone, and he has nothing left to lose. Hitting Ashley never teaches her any kind of actual lesson, save, of course, from how to act when people get violent with her.

All that’s learnt is how to behave in the short term to get the immediate beating to stop, and that’s enough for Andrew. Their push and pull has turned into violent fits against each other for control for just a short while, but he genuinely can’t care for it to be another way. After beating Ashley, he just once again reiterates that “I don’t care either way at this point” and that’s that.

It never fixes her behaviour, but it reinforces his. Just like his grandfather, Andrew becomes a wife beater, and he crosses Renee’s line for just a short moment of power and control. His spine is now like a gummy worm because he’s stuck in the easy cycle.

[violetsorengail]

fourth wing ch. 16

everyone else was cut off and then there's sgaeyl just mocking xaden the whole time. the dragons are like... having an emergency business meeting yet she still has time to whack his ass #girlboss

[wihellib]

Bimet

Bimet had several sweet, intimate moments in Chapters 6 and 7. Honestly, to me, it felt like he had more than any of the other demons. And it surprised me that it was Bimet of all demons. I'm not a big fan of Bimet because of his extreme materialism, but I really want to like him after the last two chapters. He seemed genuinely fond of you, albeit in a slightly awkward/standoffish way. I also like that the MC seems to know how to handle him and even pushes back against him from time to time.

As a side note, the VA does an amazing job with his portrayal of Bimet.

Long post under the cut.

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[intoaneverythingbagel]

the tragedy of war torn veterans and it's correlation to my hero academia

I think the conversation revolving izuku midoriya, and how he's been treated since the war ended is very, very interesting. The general consensus being that it's genuinely insane the mistreatment he's faced only a bit after the wars ending. He's a hero. He was beaten, bruised, mutilated and traumatized on live television for the entire world to see. And has received zero acclaim.

Most people are saying that it's genuinely fucked up, and yeah, I agree, it totally is. I mean, a 16 year old boy had to step up because a bunch of adults couldn't hold their own, saving the entire world, all while simultaneously losing himself and his quirk. He gave up his dreams, his sanity, and almost his life for peace; and yet he gets to relish in none of that. None of the fame, the acclaim that comes with heroism. Nothing.

Some have said that they find it to be unrealistic- "he saved the world, of course he's famous!- horikoshi is just bad at writing!" And yeah, he should be, but I don't think that horikoshi is bad at writing or that him getting acclaim is just something that isnt being shown. Horikoshi knows how to write fame, how to write stardom, we see it with hawks and Merko and most definitely all might. We even see it in the newest leaks (427) where bakugo and todoroki have fans- the new first years.

So why then? If horikoshi can write, and he knows how to portray fame, then why is izuku facing neglect? Well, as we know, mha has always been a show about how people with disabilities are treated. (I will go further into dept on this in a future post, probably today or tomorrow) being quirkless is seen as being less abled then others= disabled, and now that izuku has lost his quirk, he is back at square one- being disabled. Not to mention the physical strain the injuries he has faced leave him with. He will face life long repercussions from those injuries. He is literally a disabled veteran. And for a lot of disabled veterans, the reality of the situation is that you don't always get to be a war hero after all is said and done. You don't get the fame you deserve, or the acclaim, or the help you need! or any of that because no one wants to hear about the gory, sad, disgustingly depressing side of battle. They want the glamour, the starlight and shine.

They want the miracles, and izuku is no longer a miracle.

I think what horikoshi is trying to portray is that things really dont go back to normal right after the war ends, peoples hearts and minds aren't all immediately changed, and the mindset that has been pushed for decades about quirklesness and it's abled-bodyness will not disappear just because the hero was once quirkless, because at the end of it (at least in their minds) they were right, someone who is quirkless could never truly be strong.

So, my consensus on this debate is that horikoshi is trying to portray how a lot of veterans end up after battle. It isnt some glorifying, amazing thing. It's not this heroic adventure. It's war, and it's after and disgusting and horrific and so so scary and it kills people, and it's usually the real heroes who end up the most fucked. A commentary on how veterans are often discarded once not needed anymore. Shits deep.

[l-in-the-light]

"I'm sure he's got nothing to do with me!" says Luffy and I was waiting for him to say it. For him to hear all of this Nika lore and declare that, nope, I don't care, I'm not Nika, I'm not a liberator. It's just such a Luffy thing to do. But I know many fans actually will be shocked with Luffy's answer here or will just dismiss it. I have seen many opinions before that Luffy was always a liberator by choice, so becoming Nika is just natural course of events for him and he will have no problem embracing his role in the bigger scheme of things. Some even complained they hate that Luffy is Nika because they don't want Luffy to be the "fated hero" but instead a "from nobody to the king of the world" trope. But nope! Luffy just noped all of this himself.

Luffy is not a liberator and he's not an altruistic hero, he doesn't go from island to island aiming to save people, and if you think he wanted to, then please remember Fishmen Island and how unhappy he was with the idea of being a hero:

And now if you think Luffy changed since then because Dressrosa happened, then please remember what he asked of Momonosuke in Wano:

Yep, that's right. Luffy still *doesn't have any interest* in becoming a hero. If you think he's alright with that and changed his mind, then you're just not paying attention to him, sorry to say that. Luffy has been pretty consistent about this too and now he declared it yet again in Elbaf. It's the third time already.

You just think it's not a big deal because he so easily changed his mind in Fishmen Island, but it happened only because he had an actual reason to do that. Jimbei promised Luffy all the meat he wants. He gave him a *personal reason* to act like a hero, which is why Luffy agreed. And he did the same in Dressrosa. He wouldn't liberate that country if he didn't get attached first to Law and Rebecca (yes, in this order), and his crew to tontattas. They always do it for someone particular, for their friends. It's the same in Wano too, Luffy's constant motivation is Tama, Momo and Kinemon. He wants them to be happy, most of all, and he even says as much when he defeats Kaido: "I want a world where all of my friends can eat as much as they like".

There, he doesn't do it altruistically because he hates oppresion and villains who thrive on pain of common people and he can't stand seeing it. Yes, he probably thinks it's unfair, but he also grew up in Goa Kingdom, the very definition of unfair regime. He saves oppressed people only when they are his friends or has some other personal interest involved. He defeats the Marine base in Shells Town for Koby (and Zoro, later). He defeats Don Krieg so he can repay his food debt to Baratie. He defeats Arlong for Nami. He fights Wapol for Chopper (who saved Nami) and who he already considers his friend because of that. He fights for the Giants (Little Garden) and Vivi (Alabasta), Conis (Skypiea), Robin (Water 7 and Enies Lobby), Brook (Thriller Bark), Hachi (Sabaody) etc. Though, he does make friends rather easily, so usually it's not that big of a deal. But he isn't going out of his way to places he reads about in the newspapers that need to be liberated, he instead cares more for his own dream. He doesn't enter a certain island with the idea in mind that goes like "if I see some injustice here, I'm gonna bring this shit down". It's the other way around. He makes friends and realizes they're unhappy.

He wants them to be happy again and to live without regrets, and that's why he brings the shit down, whatever it is that makes people he cares about feel so unhappy. Because he thinks this is at least something he can do for his friends. Luffy doesn't think he can do a lot of things, he can't do much at all, but he can do one thing: beat up a guy when needed.

He knows how regret feels like ever since he believed Sabo died, he's not gonna sit there and do nothing next time something like this happens. That's why it's so important for him, to make sure his friends are happy. And that's why he beats up people and liberates countries. It's not for justice, he simply wants his friends to be happy.

But wait a moment, Luffy also wants freedom. Yes, he does. He wants to be the King of the Pirates, because for him it means to be free. And that's how he actually speaks about Nika as well:

He wants the freedom for himself. Isn't it funny that he thinks he already achieved it though?

And before you're disgusted by how selfish Luffy actually is, hear me out: Luffy is simply not a martyr. He won't die or sacrfice himself for the world to liberate it. He will instead die for the world if he thinks that will make his friends happy. Preferably though, he would want to survive and eat that meat with them, and be happy together.

Still, if you want him to be a liberator of a whole world it is actually possible, you just need to make it personal for Luffy, like I suggested. For example, put a person or multpile people who want to save/destroy the world (whichever option you fancy) on Luffy's crew. Luffy always cares for dreams of his crewmates and will always support them (because fullfilling their dreams will make them happy), so he would become a liberator if that helps them. But he would do it for them, not for the world.

Luffy is not a hero because he has a golden heart and a strong sense of justice. He's a hero when his friends are in danger instead, because instead of a golden heart, he simply has a big heart and makes friends wherever he goes. A martyr-like hero who sacrfices himself for people without caring for his own wellbeing is noble, but it's also not a healthy mentality, believe it or not. For starters, if you never care enough for yourself and are ready to throw your life away for a concept, what will happen with people who love you and care for you? Is it fair towards them to throw your life away without caring who you're leaving behind and how they will feel about it? Do you even care then for their feelings if your pursuit of greater good is more important to you? You can save the world and make people you love sad and unhappy, and like they don't even care anymore to live, because you were the one who made them happy and now you're gone. Did you save the world for them or destroyed it for them instead, as the result?

Luffy has his own interest in saving his friends too: so he's not alone again. Humans aren't selfless beings, but it doesn't automatically make us bad people either. And sometimes, while pursuing selfish things, we do something that appear to be extremely selfless. But at the bottom of it: we also do it for themselves, even if it kills us.

Tokyo Babylon taught me that every act is selfish, even if it appears like we do it for someone else: we simply want to feel better about ourselves then. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as we don't lose the sight of other people's feelings on our way. We can always share, after all, and that sharing is the bridge between the lone islands that people are.

Luffy, if he dies, will also say, just like Seishiro: "I didn't do it for you. I did everything by my own choice". For myself. Despite the fact it is also true he does it to make his friends happy. Being selfish and being selfless is like two sides of the same coin and both choices can end up actually hurting people. In the first case, because you care too much about yourself and too little about feelings of others, and in second case because you care too little about yourself and still too little about feelings of people that love and care for you. Can you spot the thing in common here?

[scarlethyena]

I fucking adore these little ID pics for Godzilla and Rodan from the latest chapter of NES Godzilla Replay

[holoska]

after debating for weeks whether to stay very far away from the deltarune soriel discourse or let myself ramble about my faves like I want to, the latter has finally won out

I've had time to properly absorb the weight of all that happens at the end of chapter 4, and obviously I do feel for both kris and susie. that is The Point of the scenes being from their perspectives; after everything they just went through and all the worry they had for toriel's safety (for the second time in 24 hours!), the scene they come home to is maybe the most uncomfortable slap in the face possible. it sticks out to me that the last thing susie talks about before the dark fountain is sealed is her wanting tomorrow to be the same as yesterday and for everything to always be able to go back to how it was, and that's what greets them - a blatant, obnoxious sign that things are changing. even though the scene has a lighthearted side, its overall tone adds to the downcast feeling the chapter ends on.

having said that, as someone who has spent the past 9 and a half years being normal about sans and toriel, I'm still very very happy that this is a canon scene we got 💜

the fandom may be largely not considering their perspectives in the slightest (or worse, only viewing their perspectives from the most bad faith angles possible), but I for one love this for them!! as other very good posts have pointed out, toriel has been sorely in need of someone who's there for her - an awful lot of people in town saw the divorce play out and have something to say about it, the holiday family are closer to asgore than toriel, kris is her child and stuck in the middle of their parents' issues, and while she's friends with alphys, them being coworkers and alphys being kris' teacher likely puts a distance of sorts between them. but sans is new in town, someone she immediately connects with, who has no pre-existing opinions about her family and has seen firsthand what toriel has to put up with from asgore. in every universe, sans is exactly the kind of person toriel needs in her life.

there's less to work with from sans' perspective given how little we know about him, and I'm not all-in on sans being from deltarune just yet (more specifically I do love the theory, I'm just giving myself room to not be too disappointed if it doesn't happen), but the new version of it's raining somewhere else being named 'the place where it rained' emotionally destroys me forever. either way it drives home just how happy toriel makes sans in both worlds and I love that so so much :']

to be clear I'm not saying they did nothing wrong, their choices negatively impacted kris and susie and they were objectively disruptive and inconsiderate after kris went to bed. but I like that they're being messy and flawed, because it means this isn't just "my faves are getting closer in the background yippee" but that their relationship is potentially an actual part of the story, and that's how you get The Good Stuff!! we wouldn't have had meaningful character moments like noelle finally standing up to queen if queen hadn't tried to control noelle and just listened to her from the start, or susie comforting ralsei with her bloodied hand if he'd told her and kris every detail of the full prophecy the moment he met them and never kept any secrets. if all the hints towards a flower shop dark world turn out to be true then it's pretty clear the story is building things up to make those future character moments hit, and considering we still don't know what happened with the dreemurr divorce at this point, chapter 5 seems like a perfect opportunity to dive into all of that.

plus, as sweet as susie's bond with toriel is, I honestly think susie seeing this side of toriel needed to happen. a lot of the fandom's complaints about toriel right now boil down to her not being the "perfect mother" they thought she was, and what bothers me about that is toriel was never meant to be that kind of character. toby has said that she's not the classic video game protagonist's mother who sees you off on your journey and you can come home and visit any time, and nothing changes and she never has any substantial character of her own. in undertale she literally handholds frisk through the tutorial, she becomes the first boss in her attempt to protect them when every other human left her care, and once they leave she won't let them come back or even call her phone because she can't face seeing them knowing they'll leave again and likely be killed. she's more than just the mother figure of the game, she's her own person with likes and dislikes, hobbies and flaws, and a past and trauma she can't overcome until the best ending.

we've only seen the tip of the iceberg of her history in deltarune, but that same principle holds true: she isn't the perfect parent you return to after each day's adventure, who gives you butterscotch pancakes every morning and never has any real part in the story because that isn't the intent behind her character. she mentioned her loneliness back in chapter 1, kris has secrets and problems they aren't letting her in on, asgore is being relentlessly inconsiderate of her boundaries, and for all susie's praise of toriel being a good mother, I think that house of cards was going to fall eventually. my hope is that, like her blowing up at ralsei ultimately bringing them closer, susie being able to see toriel as the imperfect adult she is but one who does genuinely care might help them build a stronger bond in the end too.

I think I always knew that if soriel ever inched closer to being canon there'd be discourse about it, and toriel slander is unfortunately nothing new. people are just being annoying about it currently and it sucks when I genuinely love what's being built up here!!

anyway crossing my fingers for a scene where toriel invites sans to the festival before she gets thrown in the bunker/he gets sent to undertale/the roaring happens/all of the above 🤞

[mc-cookies]

Cannot get the transfemininity of Deltarune out of my head today, specifically Dess Holiday as a kinda tragic and beautifully transgressive perspective on womanhood. This was gonna be a tag rant on another post but I got sick of trying to cut it down short enough to fit in relatively few tags so I guess I'm just gonna throw it out there as an original post? This might get a bit long and tangent-heavy but god I need to get it out of my system at least a bit.

Okay so. Dess is so so so resonant to my experience with (trans)femininity, especially given her thematic connections to the Knight. Like. What if you were constantly told that, if you’re gonna be a woman, there’s only one way you’re allowed to do it. What if you were constantly compared to your sister and your mother and expected to end up becoming them rather than being your own person. What if you had to hide and downplay your interests because if you made them too apparent people would ignore your identity and write you off as a problem child and a bad influence. What if people criticized your clothes and your music taste as offensive and inappropriate. What if, when you changed too much of yourself in response to both self discovery and trauma, you ended up being removed from the narrative, from the only community you’ve ever known. What if your name became scandalous and everyone tried so so hard to forget you. What if they left you for dead, but never put up a gravestone under your name. What if you became something new, something mysterious that pokes holes in the logic of the world and challenges the basic social fiber. What if people used that as an excuse to frame you as a legendary villain, the monstrous beast, the antagonist in the story that they have told for time immemorial. What if you decided that maybe the world as we know it does need to end, to be replaced with something that can accommodate a boisterous and weird and confident and self-assured woman like you. ghhhhh i’m biting and tearing this is literally what it’s like to be a trans woman!!!!!

[purplecelestial-buddy]

Allow me to go insane about perhaps the entirety of chapter 28

First and foremost, we are in it since page 1.

The fact that we are watching this interaction develop from the pov of the guys (since we are watching Hirano from above, like Kagi would and we are watching Kagi from below, like Hirano would) is totally insane.

This exchange is kind of so funny because Kagi says Hanzawa is gone and Hirano, who I would argue is still kind of processing the... straightforwardness and "strengh" (that's the only word I have rn) of the hug request is standing there like "and what does that even have to do with us?" and to some degree this is very important to me because this is Hirano we are talking about. Marriage = civial law Hirano. The 10 secs rule cannot exclude hair because it's made from protein just like skin, Hirano.

I need you to understand that this man has one hell of a convoluted thought process and in other situations he has taken mere seconds to come up with some weird analysis just so he can win whatever debate him and Kagi are having. AND REGARDLESS here we head a head empty no thought Hirano, he's thinking of one thing and one thing only, that being the hug and how it will fit in the puzzle that is his relationship with Kagi. And the hand clenching. Gosh the hand clenching. If only I had a nickel for everytime Kagi closes his fist or grabs at stuff to physically stop himself from crossing the line I would be a millionare. The hand clenching even makes me wonder if he actually belives no one will see them. In fact this is such a funny scene in the sense that Hirano is completely focused in their interactions and Kagi is the one coming up with unexpected loopholes to validate his actions.

I always think back on the "that passion... is focused squarely on me" scene whenever I see this expression on Kagi.

In fact it's interest to see how his expression has changed along with his feelings, desires and expectations about Hirano.

Let's do a timeline:

This was the first instance in which Kagi ever thought about kissing Hirano:

This is the passion scene I was referencing:

And then there's Kagi now who always looks five seconds away from devouring Hirano.

So it's no suprise that Hirano looks uncomfortable. This is the same passion and drive he has always admired from Kagi but now it isnt a driving force used to put effort in basketball or to study so that they can remain roomies, it's being used to expose Hirano to as many romantic situations as posible in hopes that he can reach a conclusion, hopefully a romantic one. And that a very complex expectation because romance and dating are uncharted terriotory for Hirano so ofc he's even more cautious than he tends to be and gosh I'm projecting but I dont think people get how GODDAMN frsutrating and tbh scary it is to know people are expecting something from you when 1. you arent sure what that would even entail and 2. you arent sure if you could perfom even if you knew it.

So anyway, what happens next is very important: (but there's also the whole translation deal so... let's take it with a grain of salt(? (I'll put in italics all the comments/analysis that was biased by the mangadex translation)

Kagi makes his request, Hirano is squeamish and he begrudgingly agrees because that's isnt he kind of thing he "cant's say no to"

As in, he isnt allowed to stop each and every of Kagi's advanced even if they arent directed towards something he's comfortable with simply because theirs is a delicate situation and first and foremost he wants to keep Kagi close. And keeping Kagi close and remaining as roomies is heavily dependant on him not breaking Kagi's hard so he can't refuse all advances right? Because he's pretty much uncomfotable with all things romantic but he can't properly deny Kagi a relationship unless he knows how a relationship would work, right? (I think that fron here onwards the things would remain the same regardless of translation)

And I love that here Kagi inmediately panics and backtracks. Because many things can be said about Kagi, he's passionate, he's intense, he can come on to strong but he would never want to hurt Hirano. He would rather lose sleep and study than stop having his presence close, he would rather clench his fist and stand at the line than ever cross it. Because ven if he would get what he desired he would lose the person he loves the most.

And this whole thing was a kinda tense so when Hirano finally exhales so can we as an audience. And we proceed to get back to typical hrkg antincs of "but are you 100% sure that I'm not presurring you into doing this because I wouldnt want to do this is you arent on board" x "stop whining and going in circles, let's do this and get over with it"

And once again we get Kagi's pov of Hirano. And I dont know if it would be crazy to say that it feel different than the first one but for starters now we see more of Hirano, other than his face and you can see the uncertainty in his hands.

Then comes the hug which is honestly the one and only reason I started this whole ramble.

First, let's look at past hrkg hugs: We have the famous infirmary one. And I want to draw your attention at a few points; first Kagi grabs Hirano sort of by the shoulders, in the 2nd page at the 3rd panel of the sequence Kagi pulls Hirano into the hug, a futile attempt to make it feel more reciprocal I would say and then he squeezes Hirano.

Now, this chapter's hug has much more movement.

In fact it's six pages long

Its starts fairly similar, with Kagi sorta holding Hirano by the shoulders

and it goes down from there

This... this panel haunts me. This is not the face of someone that's comfortable. We can guess that the culprit might be Kagi's hand on Hirano's waist since it's much more lower than where he usually puts his hands.

And no one is comfortable with this so, Kagi soon realizes and again, he backtracks

We finish with the usual hearty squeeze, this time there's no need to get pulled for it to be reciprocal since Hirano relies/lays on Kagi.

And then of course we have the guilt and crisis of feeling uncomfortable ("repulsed" is one of the word choices being questioned)

I don't have much to say about the rest, Hirano gets thinking thoughts, realizes that maybe it can work out if he's the one doing the hugging and we all celebrate.

(also, I find it so funny that all of their "realization" moments have literally the same page composition. I wonder if it's a Harusono quirk of if there's deeper meaning. In fact, the line gets straighther each time so maybe it's all about how they are reaching an understanding of each other )

Then he have a much more comfortable hug and perhaps some of the most kira kira sparkly pages we've ever had

In summary this chapter is very important cuz:

1. We (Hirano included) see Kagi backtracking. This is important because Hirano has gone from not realizing the dept of Kagi's desires to being aware that Kagi will never push him to do anything he's not comfortable with.

2. Kagi says that he knows how much care, which surely lifted a heavy weight from Hirano's shoulders and will helps us in the future

3. Hirano basically learned how to say no and that he has a right to work things in his own way (can be debated based on the translation but I feel the point would still be something to worry over in general(?)

[doriana-gray-games]

Ch5.2 public drop aug 2nd (Friday)! ✨🥳🍾✨

I’ll also put up around then a pov Watson thing I’ve been looking at on Patreon (if you’ve ever wondered about the moment when MC and W met) ❤️

[owl-of-catharsis]

Ran Mouri physical power as established by the 50 first chapters of Detective Conan (1, 5, 14, 30, 36 and 43).

[rookamell]

Here have a snippet of Rook and Viago being insufferable to each other and Lucanis being kind of into it and also my start to an alternative Crow plotline and also something that might never make it into the fic

The next morning found Rook and Lucanis back in Treviso.

A message had been waiting for them an the Lighthouse the night before, telling them to come to the Waterfront in the morning.

“I don’t like this,” Lucanis muttered as he led the way through the crowds around the Diamond to one of the larger main canals.

Teia’s message had said the Antaam were more vigilant than ever, that they would do better to come disguised.

Which meant Rook had chosen their clothes for today, after a heated argument about which one of them was best suited to do so.

Exactly what part of the phrase ‘the Crows send their regards’ would you define as subtle, Dellamorte?

He hadn’t exactly had a rebuttal, so he had begrudgingly allowed her to pick out his clothes. A plain shirt, light purple and devoid of the little embellishments that would mark him as a Crow to most Antivans, plain trousers and boots.

Despite the knives tucked into his pants and boots, Lucanis felt almost naked as they made their way through the crowds.

Rook looked around furtively at the Antaam standing on street corners, in front of doors, everywhere. There seemed to be twice as many of them as the last time they’d visited Treviso.

All watching for Crows.

“It’ll be fine,” she said, adjusting her shirt. “Just stop looking like you want to kill someone.”

It was a light green shirt, the laces of which were only half heartedly done up, exposing the beginnings of her collarbones.

Not that he had noticed.

Black trousers, which were no different from what she would usually wear around the Lighthouse, but seeing the tight leather hug her waist and hips in the full light of day, the looseness of the shirt where it was tucked only drawing more attention…

Why does Lucanis care. About trousers.

He frowned, trying to ignore Spite as he flitted around Rook.

Looks the same. Spite scowled at him. Looks like Rook.

“Mierda, Spite,” Lucanis muttered. So far, he hadn’t found a way to tell the demon to stop speaking without saying it out loud. It was humiliating.

Rook lifted an eyebrow at him.

“Spite,” he said, by way of explanation. Rook nodded in sympathetic understanding before returning to her previous vigilance. He found his mouth tugging up in a smile.

“We could try and talk to him,” Rook said as they walked. “Emmrich could help.”

“Spite is my problem,” Lucanis said, too quickly. “And even if that was not the case, I don’t trust the necromancer.”

“Well,” she shrugged. “Can’t exactly blame you.”

“You’d trust an abomination, but not a Necromancer?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow. The crowds around them were starting to get thicker as they made their way towards the canal walk, where cafe’s and restaurants were abundant. He had to elbow his way through the press slightly, Rook following behind.

“It’s a long story,” she said, then cast him a quick sideways glance, her dimples giving away the smile she was trying to hide.

“Shut up.”

“I did not say a word,” he replied, not bothering to hide his own grin.

‘You didn’t have to.”

Ahead of them, Teia’s favourite restaurant was packed. Crow-owned, of course, and always busy, so clients setting up meetings would not be overheard so easily.

Lucanis saw Viago as they walked up, waiting at a table, his cane resting against his leg as he sat. Even the Fifth Talon had foregone his armour for a delicately embroidered doublet, his gloves reaching up nearly to his elbows.

Smells like… Spite sniffed deeply at the air, then scrunched his face into an expression of disgust. Rotten flowers and leather. Scaly. Blergh.

“You’re late,” Viago said as he and Rook sat down in the vacant seats at the table.

“Where is Teia?” Rook asked, frowning.

“We… “ Viago scowled. “Had a disagreement. I am certain she will be here shortly.”

Lucanis barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes.

He lies. Smells of regret and longing. Stale bread and melons.

Well, even he hadn’t exactly needed the demon to tell him that.

“Teia said you wanted to talk,” Rook said, leaning back in her chair. “So let’s talk.”

A waiter arrived at the table with a tray of coffee mugs and a pot. Viago thanked him with a nod as he set the tray down and left.

“We have… certain suspicions,” Viago said. “Suspicions we must take into consideration going forward, if we are to fight the Antaam.”

Rook reached for the pot and two cups, filling both and handing one to Lucanis.

It was a good blend, strong and aromatic.

Only after both of them had sipped, did Viago lean forward and take his own cup. Lucanis saw him wince, just slightly. He wondered if he had gotten any rest since the dragon attack.

“You said it had something to do with- “

Lucanis cut off when Rook placed a hand on his wrist, firmly. A quick glance to the side told him an Antaam soldier was strolling by the restaurant, gaatlok cannon resting on his shoulder.

Neither of them had worn gloves, and the skin of her fingers was warm against his own until she let go.

“I… inferred,” Viago said, with a small nod. “We have no proof as of yet, but we would be fools to have no suspicions.”

Rook was frowning across the table at him, considering. She took a sip of her coffee.

“You think Ivenci sold you out.”

He just barely controlled his startled glance at her. Ivenci? The governor?

But a quick glance at Viago showed no surprise, only perhaps a grudging respect.

“You suspected?”

“How many other options were there?” She replied.

“Rook,” Lucanis said, quietly, “This makes no sense. Why would the governor sell out their own city? It’s like stabbing yourself in the foot.”

Rook frowned again, this time at him.

“Exactly,” she said. “So what prize would make the loss of a foot seem worthwhile?”

“The Crows, perhaps,” Viago said. “Ivenci despises us, and he is not the only governor that does. Or money. Many people would sacrifice much for the right price.”

Lucanis shook his head.

“The Crows are the backbone of Antiva,” he said. “Without us, there are no defenses. No protection, no- “

Viago and Rook were both looking at him.

“Ah.”

Mierda. Knives were so much easier than politics.

“Regardless of their motivations,” Rook continued. “You can’t openly attack them, correct?”

“Not without bringing the might of the Antaam down on Treviso,” Viago said. He took another sip of his coffee. “And even then, there would be others to take their place.”

Rook, to Lucanis’s surprise, was wearing a small smile.

"Ah,” she said. “Then it’s war.”

“A war in which no one can strike a definitive blow,” Viago said. “Not even from the shadows.”

“Perhaps not, but you can still strike. Right now, you have the city,” Rook’s eyes sparkled as she sipped her coffee. “Despite appearances. All you have to do is keep it.”

"And how, exactly, do we do that?" Viago asked, his blue eyes piercing as he looked between Lucanis and Rook.

"You have to win over the people,” she said. “The merchants, the artisans, the fishermen and beggars. Those are the people Ivenci wants to convince the Crows are unnecessary. Those are the people living under Antaam rule. Those are the people they want to win over. Those are also the people responsible for city supplies and rebuilding.”

She was… different, somehow, talking like this. Sitting up straight, her eyes glinting. A hawk, honing in on the kill. He wasn’t sure he liked it.

He wasn’t sure he didn’t like it.

“The Crows are heroes to Antivans,” she continued. “And you only added to the legend by chasing off the dragon,” she gave Viago a little grin. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

Viago inclined his chin in response. Barely.

“But they're going to start chafing, and soon,” Rook said. “Especially with Ivenci and some of the others speaking out against you, which I have no doubt they’ll do. You have to beat them to the punch."

She sat back in her chair, and Lucanis quite enjoyed watching Viago be faced with two options. On one hand, he could nod, end the conversation, and deal with Teia’s anger when he did not know what Rook’s plan was. On the other hand, he could ask Rook for help.

Spite, coming to the same realization, snickered gleefully, and Lucanis had to suppress a grin of his own as the demon’s emotions influenced his own.

Lucanis watched as the Fifth Talon’s fingers tightened on the head of his cane, a muscle ticking in his jaw. He’d never seen him quite so out of sorts as he was this morning.

"How?" he finally asked, just barely managing not to snap the word at Rook. Lucanis could see the faint outline of a dimple in her left cheek.

"Get the Chantry on your side,” she said. And left it at that.

Viago stared at her for a moment, the muscle in his jaw ticking more quickly now.

"How?"

"What is the one thing the Chantry loves more than the Maker?" Rook asked.

"The Maker's coin,” Viago answered, without hesitation. Lucanis, thinking of the amount of money Caterina spent on the Chantry during her life, almost chuckled.

"Smart man,” Rook said, and Lucanis saw Viago bristle at her tone. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying this immensely. Spite was watching as though this was an opera. He wondered vaguely if the demon would enjoy such a thing, then crushed that line of thought.

“Then, when the Chantry are handing out medicine and food, which I am sure are sorely needed after a dragon attack,” Rook continued, “You discreetly remind the public exactly where that money came from during an Antaam occupation."

She put her cup back on the table with a clink of porcelain.

Viago stared at her for a long moment, expressionless. Lucanis had known him for long enough now to realise he was torn between being impressed and being annoyed.

"I see you have spent some time in Orlais,” he finally said.

"It's been a while since I've had to play the Game,” Rook smiled pleasantly at Viago.

“But I find it's a bit like riding a horse."

"Uncomfortable, inefficient and prone to biting?" Viago asked, his frown not budging.

Rook chuckled, and inclined her head toward Viago.

“Vi,” Teia’s voice would have startled Lucanis if he hadn’t heard her footsteps coming from behind them, “Horses only bite if you handle them incorrectly.”

Teia bent down to greet Lucanis and Rook with kisses on both cheeks, and he took the opportunity to look her over. No serious injuries, scratches that were already starting to heal… dark circles beneath her warm eyes that told him she hadn’t slept any more than Viago since he had last seen them. She carried a wrapped package.

“Nice of you to join us,” Viago said, and Lucanis did not miss the fact that Teia did not greet him, or look at him as she sat down.

He shared a quick glance with Rook, and had to suppress a grin.

“I was overseeing the last of the preparations,” Teia said.

“Preparations?” Rook frowned.

“We were told Minrathous needs aid,” Viago said, his arms crossed over his chest and his voice just short of petulant.

“So we are sending aid.”

Rook’s eyes widened, jarring after how in-control she had been of her expressions up until then.

Teia nodded to Lucanis with a small grin, and Rook looked over at him.

He shrugged. All he had done was tell Teia.

But Rook’s soft smile, just a second before she turned back to Teia, was worth the argument with Viago.

“Thank you,” she told Teia, quietly.

“Of course.”

“The Crows know what is owed, Rook,” Viago said, gruffly but not unkindly. Which was different from how he had spoken to Lucanis about the same thing, Spite reminded him.

“If we have nothing else to discuss?” Rook asked, after clearing her throat slightly.

“Just this,” Teia said, sliding the package over to Rook. “Another sign of thanks. One of the walls in the library collapsed when the dragon flew into it, and it opened a chamber we had not known about. I thought you might appreciate this.”

She nodded at Lucanis.

“He can translate for you.”

“Thanks, Teia,” Rook said. Lucanis was sure the quick way she stood up, package grasped tightly, was so she wouldn’t sound too emotional.

“Of course, Rook,” Teia said, her eyes glinting. “Good hunting.”

It was nice, after the last couple of days, Lucanis thought, as they made their way back to the Diamond through the crowds of people, to see Rook feel as though she could do something right again.

[beazt]

literally can’t put undertale down to sleep rn

the fountain Susie just made is purple like her and the last fountain in the same spot was green like ralsei. Susie said to go talk to him and then immediately after telling him the plan went to the church and the dark fountain was there. and green.

or maybe it was green like gerson.

I haven’t even gotten 2 seconds past seeing the fountain is purple but I’m thinking about how gerson said “even if you can go back, don’t expect it to be the same”

there’s so much happening about “going back” and SO much happening with Susie and SO much with Noelle and SOOOOOO much with the player/kris and SO much going on with ralsei and i was so on the right track all thru chapter 3 we are so back

ralsei was trying to get kris to close their eyes a Lot. and ralsei is being very secretive and almost like he’s having difficulty masking as who has been the whole series thus far. and the knife scene with Susie was wild. i just know there’s about to be a huge betrayal or mistake made or reveal. I have my ideas of what it will be too (obv the dark fountain is not gonna go as planned)

also ralsei i fucking saw that you weren’t being as obscured by the roaring knight’s waves!! I saw that!!! What you got going on buddy!!!!!

[beebberbb]

caged