#clocks.nsft.tw

[diaryofclockwork]

Happy Valentine's day to everyone who hates the fucking holiday because the whole day is a traumatic memory for you.

I don't want your flowers, your cards, your chocolates. I don't want your hugs, your kisses, your touches that will inevitably lead to you pressuring me onto my knees because it's what you deserve for celebrating the day with me despite me hating every moment of it.

I don't want your meaningless objects and your stupid expectations.

I just want to wake up and not think about what day it is and what it means. I just want to have a normal day, where I don't think about it, and I go to sleep at night to wake up the next morning with anything on my mind other than "364 days until I do it all over again."

[diaryofclockwork]

Hey, I'm Clockwork.

I'm an adult introject in a 22 year old OSDD1b system of the creepypasta character Clockwork / Natalie Ouellette. This blog is about everything that comes with that — from source memories to fantasizing about source, my experiences as a fictive, and my experiences as a protector. Although most things are on the table.

Please call me Clockwork, use she/her pronouns, and feel comfortable to talk to me, I don't bite unless you do.

Much more information about me, triggering content, tagging, my system's main blog, and more are under the cut.

My past in my system is complicated, but all you need to know is I am the primary protector and though I connect deeply with my source I know I'm not actually her in real life. My life IRL revolves around what's best and safest for my system, and rarely if ever I have the chance to even think about my own needs, wants, desires.

This side blog is here to act as an out for my personal thoughts and feelings, many of which revolve around my source. This is not a roleplay blog, I'm not pretending to be the actual or the "real-life Clockwork", I just am what I am and need an out to talk about it.

Know that though I accept minors interacting now, this blog was not made for minors or people in vulnerable mindsets.

Trigger Warnings may apply to my blog.

My blog sometimes contains content about violence, dark impulses, sex, sex crimes, mental health and illness, and many other potentially triggering subjects. I will be talking about my trauma here.

This is not a completely SFW and completely minor-friendly blog, and it is not made to be viewed in vulnerable states of mind. This blog won't be majorly NSFW but may contain those topics. Minors may interact due to this but tread lightly and be aware not everything here is meant for you. If you see something marked mature, no you didn't. Scroll past.

Just because I have an impulse or thought or fantasy doesn't make it okay for me or anyone to act on it, and doesn't make me likely to act on it either.

Tags List:

#clocks.casual -> Just talking, or anything not fitting into other tags.

#clocks.a.simp -> Forgetting my filter I use IRL and just being an idiot who goes hard when she likes things.

#clocks.dysphoric -> Talking about BIID and anything considered atypical dysphoria in myself.

#clocks.source -> Talking about source.

#clocks.source.vent -> Venting about source.

#clocks.vent -> Non-source vents, may be TW.

#clocks.nsft -> Anything NSFW, may be TW, minors shouldn't be on my blog anyway but minors DNI with this especially.

#clocks.mind -> Anything directly mental health/illness related, probably TW.

#clocks.kills.tw -> Anything violence related. Heavy TW.

#clocks.nsft.tw -> Anything sex trauma related. Heavy TW.

Disclaimer about my "main blog".

My system's main blog is @sillyguystrawb and in it you'll see a lot of creepypasta stuff on it and the affiliated blog @deadrose-compound. Don't take anything said there as accurate to me, my source memories, or anything like that. I am very separated from those blogs except when I follow/like from our main blog. I don't use those blogs for the most part and other alters don't speak for me - only the characters they like. I find this completely acceptable because they and I have come to an agreement that they're talking about the fictional characters and not me really. Even their headcanons for my source aren't accurate to how I am as a fictive. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

And just so we're clear, I block freely.

I don't support harassment at all, and don't want to fight anyone, so just expect to be blocked if you are listed in our main blog's pinned post block criteria