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mochegato · 4 years ago

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Even the Losers

Chapter 1

“You can do this Marinette,” Adrien whispered encouragingly, echoing the mantra she’d been whispering to herself for the past two days. She could do this. She could manage. This was for Max. She could handle it. He couldn’t be here but she could. She could be strong for him. She gave Adrien a shaky smile and nodded. “We just have to find him and we can leave,” he reminded her.

Marinette took a breath and let it out slowly. She’d dealt with far, far worse than a few judgmental, heartless asses who had no real interest in her. But seas of artificial smiles had always unsettled her and currently she was surrounded with so much artificial sweetness she felt like she was walking through a kid’s cereal aisle. That added onto her already existing anxiety had her ready to bolt at the slightest provocation.

She ran her hand over the skirt of her dress, letting the feeling of the fabric and the knowledge of all that had gone into it soothe her. She was especially proud of her dress and the work that had gone into it. It was a black so dark it almost appeared to draw in the light around it. A mesh with strategically placed blood red decorations overlaid the dress, hugging her bodice until it reached her hips then dropped into a flowing skirt that ended just before it could pool on the ground.

She fought the urge to fiddle with the belt in her nervousness. She couldn’t show weakness like that, not here. She looked up at Adrien again in search of an anchor to reality. She took in his expression and had to stifle the laugh that resulted. He had his own artificially sweet smile on but his eyes quite clearly begged for a quick death. He glanced down to her and nudged her discreetly, his artificial smile becoming wide and real. “Shhhh,” he hushed her under his breath. “We’re trying not to attract attention to ourselves, remember? We’re ghosts.” He looked around to make sure nobody was looking at them.

Marinette immediately quieted, her face becoming somber. She did remember. In and out. That was the goal. Her goal. Knock the man on his ass with Max’s accomplishments, then never see him, or anyone else in this room, other than Adrien of course, ever again. They were supposed to be like ghosts. There but not. Her eyes scanned the room looking for their target.

Adrien’s eyes immediately softened and filled with regret. “Shit, Mari. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“No,” she looked up at him with an artificial smile of her own. “I know. It’s fine. It’s not your fault.” She scanned the crowd again, cursing her height, as she had many times in her life. Even with the six inch, death defying heels, she still barely reached Adrien’s eyes, let alone give her any kind of advantage to see the crowd. She needed some kind of vantage point but unfortunately, the only high point in the ballroom was the stage, which she couldn’t utilize if she was going to follow her Ghost policy. “We might have more success if we split up. Let me know if you find him.”

Adrien squeezed her arm quickly before nodding. “Good luck.”

Marinette shot him a genuine smile. “You too. May the Luck be with you.”

Adrien laughed and shook his head. “I never should have forced you to watch that movie.”

Marinette grinned back. “You never should have forced me to watch the prequels. The original ones were just fine.” Adrien narrowed his eyes at her but let it drop in favor of disappearing in the crowd to find their target.

Marinette followed him with her eyes until she couldn’t see him anymore then took a deep breath to brace herself. Her eyes immediately started darting around and her fingers started dancing. She needed something to occupy them or she was going to start attracting unwanted attention.

She noted a bar close by and made a beeline for it. She waited politely for the bartender to notice her, her fingers tapping anxiously against the bar while she waited. She froze when she heard a gruff voice next to her. “Did you sneak in here?”

She turned to the voice and blinked a few times. “Excuse me?”

“You’re anxious and jittery. Afraid you’re going to get kicked out?” the man elaborated.

Marinette studied him for a moment trying to figure out why he looked so familiar. “No,” she started slowly, trying to give her brain a chance to answer the puzzle. “Just not a fan of events like this.”

The man scoffed and nodded in understanding. “Cheers.” He raised his glass for her to clink his but she held out her hands with a sheepish look, showing she didn’t have a drink yet. “Well, that’s a crime. Nobody should have to endure one of these without a drink.” He motioned to the bartender and got an immediate response. “Another for me and a…” he motioned to Marinette to give her order.

��Oh, champagne, please,” she finished with a smile for the bartender. That’s what was socially acceptable at events like this, right? Champagne.

The bartender looked to the man for confirmation. The man nodded. “And a champagne for the woman.” Marinette scowled at the bartender causing the man to laugh. “He’s just worried that you’re underage. You look awfully young. You’re not, right?”

Marinette’s glare softened in realization. “Oh, that makes sense. No, I’m not. I forgot the legal age here is higher than in France.”

He nodded and looked at her critically for a moment before offering his hand. “Jason.”

Marinette immediately reached out for his hand and answered with her name before her brain registered the name he’d given. Jason. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne’s son. She pulled her hand back quickly as the realization hit her and focused on leveling her breathing. She grabbed the champagne glass more violently than necessary when the bartender set it down in front of her and immediately downed the entire glass, only coughing a bit as the bubbles tickled her throat. Overall, champagne was not the best drink to chug. “Another, please,” she croaked out.

“You know, there are better drinks for that, if that’s what you want to do,” Jason grinned, laughing at her.

“Wasn’t the plan until it was and then that’s all I had,” she croaked out, her voice still hoarse from the bubbles. She kept her eyes focused on her empty glass as she spoke, almost afraid to make eye contact with him as if just seeing her eyes would be enough to blow her cover.

Jason chuckled and nodded in understanding. “Don’t suppose you’d care to dance?”

Marinette whipped her head to him and stared incredulously, forgetting her previous reservations. She only moved again when the bartender set the new drink down in front of her. “Um… no… thank you. That doesn’t seem… I don’t think my date would be comfortable with that. Good luck getting drunk enough to handle tonight though.” She gave him a weak smile and raised her glass to him before moving into the fray again, now armed with a socially acceptable fidget toy.

It took five minutes of avoiding wandering hands and leering looks but with a little luck and some prodding from the goddess hiding in the folds of her skirt, she was finally able to stumble on M. Lucius Fox, Director of Research and Development for Wayne Enterprises. He was in a conversation he was not remotely interested in with some vapid business exec who was just as interested in M. Fox. Not that M. Fox’s disinterest was clear. He was very polite and good at covering his boredom, much more so than his conversation partner, but she’d been at enough stuffy, snobby parties with Adrien, Felix, and Chloe to know the signs.

She took another breath and squared her shoulders, going into Ladybug Mode; calm and confident, completely assured of herself. She was on a mission. She had a goal and a plan to accomplish it, and once she had a plan, she had a direction and purpose, and with those, her insecurities fell away. With M. Fox in her sights, she could see the pieces and the way they fit together. There were no more doubts. She set her glass on a passing waiter’s tray and made her way over to M. Fox.

“The elusive M. Fox. It is a pleasure to meet you,” Marinette purred, coming up next to him with a charming, real smile.

“I didn’t realize I was hiding,” Lucius responded with a polite smile of his own.

“Must just come naturally. Foxes are known to be crafty.” Marinette looked around them and motioned toward the dancefloor. “Would you care to dance, M. Fox?”

He shook his head deferentially. “Are you sure there aren’t other people here you’d rather dance with?”

Marinette smiled conspiratorially and leaned closer to him, making sure to keep a respectable distance. She did NOT want to have her banter confused with flirting. That was not the strategy she had devised. “That would defeat the purpose of coming here. I came here specifically to speak with you.”

Lucius looked down at her analytically, trying to figure out what her angle was, but took her hand and followed her onto the dancefloor. “And what did you want to speak about, Ms…?”

“Dupain Cheng. Marinette Dupain Cheng. It’s nice to meet you M. Fox. I wanted to speak to you to sell my friend Max Kante.”

Lucius’ eyes widened almost imperceptibly as the music changed. After a beat, he chuckled. “I’m not in the market to buy anyone, but thank you.” He settled his hands on her mid-back and hand for their dance.

Marinette chuckled good naturedly along with him. “Sell his talents, would be a better way to say it.”

“And where is Mr. Kante?” Lucius raised an eyebrow at her, curious why the young man didn’t bother to come himself. “Why are you presenting his talents instead of him?”

“Finals. Had the incredibly bad luck to have a Friday at noon final. I mean at least it wasn’t at 19h, right? Can you believe they have those?” She scrunched up her nose in playful disgust. “But still means he’s taking it right now. And for his last final of his career. I mean… probably. Knowing him, he might get another PhD at some point. My finals and presentation ended last week. M. Wa…” she took a steadying breath and looked back up with a strained smile hoping he wouldn’t notice the stutter. “M. Wayne even visited for it. That’s when the idea for this came to me. So while Max studied, I plotted.”

“So why me then and not Mr. Wayne?” Lucius asked with a curious interest.

Marinette froze for just a second. Hardly enough for anyone to notice. Her mind raced to calculate the appropriate response to that question, a satisfactorily casual yet intelligent response. “M. Wayne isn’t in charge of research. You are. Not to mention, I highly doubt the CEO would be involved enough in the research and development projects to know what was going on. You I take as a man who knows what is going on with all your ongoing projects.”

He nodded. She wasn’t wrong, or normally wouldn’t be. Mr. Wayne usually was not involved in any projects and with the exception of one particular project they were having issues with, he wouldn’t know the particulars. “A very dangerous and elaborate plan. Why didn’t you make an appointment with me? Or just stop me on the street?” he prodded, hoping for her thought process.

Marinette laughed lightly. “I don’t imagine I would have had a chance in Hell of making an appointment with you in your office. I have no standing, no name, no significance that would have attracted any PA worth their salt’s attention. I would have been pawned off onto a low ranking employee to handle, if I was handled at all. And something like this needed to be taken to you.

“As for running into you on the street, I can’t imagine you would have responded positively to getting accosted on the street. You seem more than capable of handling yourself with grace in the face of a pest. I doubt I would have gotten more than a few words in. At a gala however,” she grinned conspiratorially at him. “Societal convention. Almost absolute certainty of at least one dance where I would have you one-on-one for a few minutes. Hostage audience. Figured I could use it to my advantage for once.”

Lucius smiled back at her ingenuity. “There’s an application process he could have gone through,” he noted.

Mari nodded and looked out to the crowd, scanning it. “Right, applying to M. Fedor Rabler,” she said distractedly. “He did that.”

Lucius nodded in understanding. Their application process was tough. Lots of amazing candidates didn’t get through. He had to respect her devotion to her friend, to risk coming here and potentially making an enemy of Wayne Enterprises if he’d been that sort of man. His eyes turned sympathetic. “I’m sorry he was passed over.”

“You know, I’ve noticed Elspeth Cole puts forth a lot of inventions and extremely varied ones at that,” she continued as though she hadn’t heard his consolation. “Most inventors, you can see their process, you can see how they got from one invention to the next, but hers… they’re so varied. It’s almost like they’re coming from completely different people.” Lucius watched her carefully, waiting to see where she was going with this. “That’s them, isn’t it? Dancing together. Awfully close for purely colleagues.”

Lucius followed her sight line to Ms. Cole and Mr. Rabler dancing extremely closely. Not obscenely, but perhaps a bit closer than was normally acceptable at a society event such as this one. “It’s hardly incriminating that two people with expertise in electrical engineering would get together,” he said slowly.

“Max is amazing. Brilliant,” Marinette said, seemingly not noticing her non-sequitur. “He created an AI that helped the Parisian superheroes locate and defeat our supervillain at only 14.” Lucius’ brow rose. That was certainly promising. He wondered what would have caused them not to take such an applicant. Surely there was some sort of embellishment there, but as he studied her, she seemed entirely genuine.

“He’s being scouted by several high profile companies including Lexcorp and Palmer Technologies.” She turned her attention back to Lucius, a curious pout on her lips. “But not Wayne Enterprises.” She looked away with clearly forced casualness. “Lexcorp and Palmer, they’re offering pretty impressive packages. Not as good as he deserves in my opinion, but I may be a bit biased. Wayne Enterprises however… nothing. Not even an offer.

“Now, I don’t really have a dog in the fight… other than wanting my friend to be safe and treated with the respect he deserves. But Palmer Technologies gets blown up by a villain or its inventors kidnapped far too frequently for me to be comfortable with my friend working there. And Lexcorp…” She looked down as if in thought before looking back at him again with a determined look in her eye.

“You know, I get a feeling sometimes. I can’t really explain it, just get a feeling about people or things. I’ve found it’s best for me and the people around me if I listen to that feeling and that feeling tells me Lex Luthor is the last person who should be trusted with a brain as brilliant as Max’s.” She looked back over to Mr. Rabler and Ms. Cole. “That same feeling told me Max shouldn’t trust the application process for Wayne Enterprises.”

She looked back at Lucius with an apologetic smile. “No offense. So, I convinced Max to make a small part of his submission just a little off. Just a bit. Enough that even an expert could miss it, but if it’s wrong the project could never work. It took a lot of convincing to get him to do it. He refused to believe he had anything to worry about in Wayne Enterprises with its stellar reputation.” She scrunched up her face in annoyance. “But that feeling, you know? I couldn’t get over it. After a lot of work, I convinced him there was no harm. After all, if he was hired he could fix it. If he wasn’t… well, you shouldn’t be using what he presented anyway, right? No harm, no foul as you Americans say.”

“No,” Lucius agreed. “That would be theft and completely against WE policy and standards. In fact, we should not be asking applicants to submit anything like that in the first place.”

Marinette smiled and nodded approvingly. “I’ve heard rumblings, or rather Max has, of WE getting into transmutation of materials. Just can’t get that algorithm right though, can you? Algorithms are hard. Just a little off and nothing works.”

He stared at her. That was a secret project. Other departments in Wayne Enterprises didn’t even know about it. “I can’t comment on ongoing projects.”

“I never did show you what Max is capable of, did I?” She gave him a bright smile and reached down to press a disguised button on her belt. Lucius tensed and cursed himself for exposing himself to whatever she was about to do. A wave of emerald green washed over the front of her bodice as the blood red decorated mesh overlay turned into a brilliant emerald green that reflected the lights now rather than absorbing it.

Lucius’ eyes widened in surprise, a feat very few had been able to draw out of him. “He designed the fabric?” he whispered out. He reached out tentatively to touch the fabric at her shoulder.

Marinette grinned brilliantly at his reaction. It was no less than Max deserved. He’d worked incredibly hard on it. “He did,” she nodded in confirmation, “and the software that controls it. The whole dress can change but we’re kind of surrounded here and I didn’t want to attract too much attention.” She let him touch it for a moment before pushing the button again to turn it back into the black, then allowing him to feel the mesh to confirm it was the same fabric. “He has ideas for changing the texture as well, but limited resources you know? Something I’d hope wouldn’t be an issue at WE.”

“How does it work?” His eyes were still focused on the fabric at her shoulder. He took a quick look at the rest of the bodice, but quickly snapped his eyes back to her shoulder. The neckline was conservative, but it was still rather unbecoming to stare at the young woman’s chest.

Marinette laughed. “You’ll have to ask Max that. I just designed the dress. I don’t really understand the mechanics behind it, but he does. I doubt Ms. Cole can say the same.”

Lucius stared in awe at her shoulder before looking back up to her eyes and nodding in understanding. “Interesting. I’ll take that under advisement. Maybe we should be scouting you as well.”

Mari laughed. “No, thank you. I’m not an inventor. I’m a designer. But I appreciate the interest.”

Lucius nodded and led her off the dancefloor with the end of the song. “Inventor or not, we can always use someone with intuition, intelligence, and ingenuity like you’ve demonstrated.”

Marinette gave him a brilliant, somewhat familiar smile. “That’s very flattering. Thank you, M. Fox. But tonight is about Max. I have my own, separate plans for my future.”

Lucius nodded in understanding. “Our loss,” he answered sincerely. “If you ever need any help or advice, please feel free to call me. I’m sure Mr. Kante will have it soon enough and can pass it onto you.” He looked back down to her shoulder again. “If I may…” He motioned toward her shoulder.

Marinette laughed. “Of course. I understand how truly impressive it is. It’s been incredibly inspirational, thinking of the options.”

“And what did your intuition tell you about tonight?” He looked up to meet her eyes, curious about her answer.

Marinette’s face went slack for a moment before she pasted on a bittersweet smile. “That it would be costly but worth it.”

Lucius quirked his head to the side. “In what way?”

Marinette shook her head absently and took a sudden interest in M. Fox’s tie. “I’m not sure yet.”

Mr. Fox’s eyes softened. “Would he be available to meet on Monday?”

Marinette grin and snapped her eyes up to him. Mission success! Max was going to get his interview! “He can be.”

“I’d actually like to speak with both of you, if you don’t mind. In my office at 10 Monday?” he offered.

Marinette faltered. “In Wayne Enterprises?”

Lucius chuckled. “Naturally.”

Marinette swallowed heavily. “Why don’t we meet somewhere else? Early morning coffee perhaps?” she offered instead with an artificial smile. “Here’s my card. Have someone give me a call or text and I can arrange it. He’s scheduled to fly in tomorrow morning. He was supposed to meet with Lexcorp Monday morning, but he’ll be at coffee to meet you instead.”

Lucius smiled back at her as he slipped her card into his pocket. “I greatly appreciate your candor and support Ms. Dupain Cheng.” He took her hand in both of his to shake it. “I cannot tell you how good it was to meet you. And if you ever get one of those feelings about me or Wayne Enterprises, let me know, okay?”

“Lucius.”

Lucius froze at the cold voice, not accustomed to that tone of voice directed at him. He looked over curiously and missed Marinette freezing before pushing another button on her belt.

Chapter 2

Tags:

@maribat-bdbwm

#maribat #bio dad bruce wayne #roynette #Even the Losers #mbdbwm2021 #prompt -#meeting for the first time

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obeetlebeetle · 3 years ago

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(1) im so glad u liked my kpvvy ask! i loved reading ur answer and ur thoughts on how it would shake out. i agree that kpvvy are more bittersweet mirrors than trying to save/serve each other, and that respect is so interesting to me. i was worried about word limit so i didn't mention rue who is ofc important to all of this too - rue learning of wuvvy's betrayal done in the name of love...when i sent the au, i forgot about the glamour aspect

hi. so. i maybe wrote an essay in response to this chain of asks. and honestly very little of it is fun and shippy, it's basically a wuvvy deep dive after the first 400 words. but, y'know, if you squint it's still ostensibly abt a kpvvy au.

if u read it and think 'ok well this guy is a drag' my only defense is that yeah i am kind of a drag.

some mild au hcs to soften the blow:

wuvvy calls in her favor right away, getting hob to help set up the potions, but they fall into the habit of doing tasks for one another in exchange for a favor, which is always called in as another task.

hob's tent is a mess and his presentation is immaculate; wuvvy's to-do list is perfect and she never manages to look tidy. she helps him reorganize with her system, and hob shows her how to care for her clothes and her hair, braids it back on busy days so she isn't stressed, hides love notes in her pockets.

wuvvy introduces hob to the assistants to the assistant, the vast array of working class folk that make the event a success, and he finally feels natural and comfortable letting himself have fun with people who make sense to him.

being capable of beastspeech, wuvvy reads hob's letters to wrackingspelt. hob cries. wuvvy laughs at them both.

wuvvy arrives at the ball with rue but slips away with hob, confused and torn-up and fully in love with both of them. but dancing with rue in the light of the fireworks, kissing hob in the shadowy woods, feeling wanted and letting herself be wanted for the first time in her life, she is deliriously happy. she has always believed that if anyone saw how much she wanted from them, they would turn away in fear or disgust, or would otherwise suffocate under the weight of her affection while never giving her enough in return. between hob and rue, however, she's finding that they can love the monster in her, and their love might actually sate her appetite.

ok. that's all i got. essay:

(1) im so glad u liked my kpvvy ask! i loved reading ur answer and ur thoughts on how it would shake out. i agree that kpvvy are more bittersweet mirrors than trying to save/serve each other, and that respect is so interesting to me. i was worried about word limit so i didn't mention rue who is ofc important to all of this too - rue learning of wuvvy's betrayal done in the name of love…when i sent the au, i forgot about the glamour aspect

(2) so i was thinking of wuvvy secretly approaching kp as herself + generally sussing him out more thoroughly. maybe this would be a way of disarming kp's skepticism, false honesty. kp + rue are harder for me to understand, i have trouble picturing what would happen next. how would hob feel to get to know an equal he admires? so much more approachable + understanding of devotion. maybe wuvvy's just nice at first and then friendly sparring becomes… more than friendly lol

yeah ok! this is a completely different narrative if wuvvy approaches hob as herself. i’m working with something similar for the cyrano au — hob and wuvvy establishing a dynamic that revolves around occupying similar roles with VERY different feelings towards those roles. the question is whether hob would fall for the seduction — if wuvvy approaches him after that moment in the woods, after the burnt letter, i dont know that he would be taken in. this is rue’s best friend, after all. if she approaches him with commiseration and friendship, though, she might catch his heart, and that would make the most sense for her getting the opportunity to see and sympathize with hob.

from there, well. i see them finding each other as collaborators. we know that if hob meets a fey that works and that seeks out his company, he will genuinely want to help them. and we know that he likes the bloom, he’s inspired by it, so there is a lot of opportunity to him to spend time learning about wuvvy’s tasks. she earns his trust by letting him in, then uses that bond to “help” with his own task, situating herself as an outsider to the court of wonder in order to become his confidante, his fellow spy. i like them sparring, i like them sharing their mother tongue with one another, and i do think there’s passion to be explored there. but another scene that jumps out to me is them pouring over the wall of red string and feeling like conspirators, drawing closer behind closed doors. since it’s the seduction angle, i imagine this is where wuvvy would start engaging his affections through tenderness.

(3) the lying would still be lying, that hob caught feelings for wuvvy who is sacrificing herself as a honeytrap for rue. but it's double ouch feeling for him that: not only did wuvvy know the saboteur was rue all along but that she did this FOR rue rather than genuine connection. that wuvvy thought he was dangerous for rue, never actually trusted/liked/wanted him. who could ever like him, etc. easily manipulated blunt instrument. (wuvvy = fine instrument?)

you def hit the nail on the head as far as the severity of the betrayal. hob doesn’t take being used lightly when it comes to rue’s lie, and this would be exacerbated by the fact that he WAS manipulated on purpose and that he WAS taken for a fool. it could only be tempered by real feelings of love and care from wuvvy. bowie emotionsandphenomena pointed out that hob is not functionally a blunt instrument; that may be how boil and blemish see him, but his plans are precise and intelligent. if they’ve been working together, wuvvy would see that, and the betrayal compounds as hob is left feeling as stupid and humiliated as he does when being lambasted by his superiors.

(4) wuvvy, eventually guilty and burning up inside maybe. liking and pitying hob more than she expected. her closest friend besides rue is theo, who she may not have seen for decades or centuries since the last bloom, she has not been lonely but she has only had rue as rue has only had her. with hob it is fun to fight and run and get messy in ways she can't standing next to rue, moving for rue. hob would never, could never tell her what to wear.

(5) idk how rue would re/act… idk if i can see rue falling for wuvvy once hob comes into the picture. maybe if hob really is distracted by wuvvy + refrains from pursuing rue, they would start seeing her as she cares for them: wipes their tears/holds them. but it's hard for me to see how this would help rue see wuvvy's love as romantic. rue learning this has been happening, that wuvvy came between them and hob makes me feel insane tho. it feels so doomed for wuvvy.

wuvvy is not someone who wants to confess her feelings, ever; she doesn’t really seem to trust anyone but herself. honeytrapping hob is just as good as being rue’s assistant because she can create rules for it, she knows what will be expected of her and she acts accordingly. it’s a job, and wuvvy, like hob, is only able to identify her value in being good at her job, in how she meets the conditions she has set. this model has worked well for her thus far; she genuinely has been happy with her arrangement with rue. it’s rue that identifies that she acts a certain way around them, represses some part of herself to make room for rue. it’s rue that identifies, upon divesting themself of their loyalty to the court of wonder, that their position affords them a measure of control over wuvvy.

in contrast, lying to and manipulating hob would put her in that position of control. & she would start to understand why control doesn’t allow for desire. negotiating who has the upperhand when one party can never really achieve that position is not possible.

i think that that’s where this starts to come together. wuvvy sees in hob what happens when you give yourself over to someone so that you are not responsible for your happiness. she can see what it means to be taken advantage of, to be used, and to accept that as the price for having all your decisions made for you. her performance of affection becomes real the longer the honeytrap persists, because she’s seeing the way hob is treated by his court and the lack of joy in his life, which leads her to confront what she has actually been seeking in her relationship with rue.

importantly, wuvvy is happy in her model of devotion. she loves rue, and until that moment in ep3, rue has not used wuvvy, has not wounded wuvvy, and has given wuvvy everything she asked for from the relationship she herself facilitated -- it was a choice, after all. it was the last one she had to make.

loving hob and knowing she has power over him, has used him, and having him love her is what makes her realize that she wants a different relationship with rue — a collaborative relationship, where neither party has the ability to use one another because instead they rely on, care for, and support each other instead. hate to signpost my own analysis but, i have a whole treatise on how this was the climactic point in canon kprue and how it gets reconciled between them.

as far as ruevvy and kprue in the au — rue was canonically falling for wuvvy at the start of the story, and with hob’s attention on someone else after the woods while wuvvy supports rue through their reveal and encouraging their happiness, they would fully commit themselves to wuvvy. it’s less of rue recognizing wuvvy’s feelings and more rue developing their own feelings. and we know that rue would choose to act on those feelings. rue, like hob, hates lying. meanwhile, kprue looks more like canon kpvvy — there’s mutual attraction, perhaps a deeper bond if they get the chance to learn about each other, hob respects and admires rue, rue is jealous of but sympathizes with hob, etc. they don’t have the opportunity to fall in love, but the capacity for love is there, and the closer they draw to wuvvy the closer they will draw to one another.

so when it comes down to it, when wuvvy and hob have fallen for each other, when hob realizes the depth of her betrayal and demands truth at last — well, honestly, i think that they would come to a duel without a confession from wuvvy. they would fight, and as they fight wuvvy would try to defend her actions, and in the defense she would finally let slip the secret that defines her: the impetus was love for rue.

even having been wounded by her, hob would respect wuvvy’s play because of that love, the 'this is how far you will go for rue’ of it all. hob and wuvvy and rue are all written as characters who know how to play the game and play it perfectly. it’s just that rue and hob played it for the courts, which made them unhappy & led to their deep need for authenticity. wuvvy plays it for rue, and hob would see it and WANT that, because wuvvy loves lying so much that she wields it like a board-and-blade. hob would admire it! as long as he gets to be on the other side of it, as long as the player is a person he loves, the only thing that matters to him about their tactics is whether or not they'll include him in the planning.

so i don’t think it would be a doomed ending for wuvvy. in canon rue is able to forgive her without knowing what she did — they respect wuvvy’s tremendous capacity for love, and they don’t mind that no one gets to know why she does what she does, as long as she's doing what she wants. as far as hob, in canon he doesn’t mind everyone constantly revealing their plans or true selves, because now he gets to see how it all worked. this is why kpruevvy is SO potent to me: wuvvy, a character who wants to be the exception to the rule, could only ever have that same exception with rue and hob. they are all ruthless when it comes to love.

in the end, it would come down hob finally recognizing his true nature in wuvvy. taking her off the pedestal and seeing that she wants something that service has not afforded her. wuvvy letting herself want something. both of them realizing that they found real love in one another, and hob forgiving her because he finally understands why. i like the idea of rue interrupting the duel, being there when it all comes to light, and being able to ask them, what was it all for? What, of anything, made them happy? the answer being, ofc, their time spent together, working together, having someone on their side, having someone to touch and kiss and fight and hold. rue is one who allows them to interrogate the burden of love, and how devotion negotiates or excuses that burden through the way devotees develops their selfhood around their object of devotion. this is the sticking point in both wuvvy and hob that rue is constantly trying to unpick; rue is the one to introduce mutualism, the profound benefit of an ethic of care rather than an ethic of service.

(6) unrelated to the au, idk if the canon kprue ending is happy to me, it feels sad like yes rue loves hob, but i feel like hob is wuvvy 2. did he really want to leave the ALL of the goblin court? his salt goblins? grabalba? idk. out of the frying pan… opposite to how i feel about wuvvy's ending - unhappy but free, at least. the mercy of that, out of sight… sorry for so so many asks! i wish the char limit was longer.

sorry but you really lost me here : ( rue knows that hob loves them, hob knows that rue loves him, and the relationship they enter into is explicitly a romantic one, which is to say, fundamentally different than rue’s relationship with wuvvy. taking on wuvvy’s role in rue’s life doesn’t mean that hob takes on the power dynamic that she had with rue. & like, looking at every interaction hob has with a member of the court, it’s clear that they are not his friends, his family, his confidantes — i know we all love grabalba, but she doesn’t care about him, and frankly he only cares about her as far as a codified relationship of fealty to her king. the unnamed goblins are primarily shown to tease hob, boil and blemish use him, and the military unit he commands has no affection for him, just loyalty. he was writing letters to his horse. idk i really dont see how finding love, devoting himself to someone who cares about him, experiencing desire and intimacy, and ultimately building a new life with them alongside their friends, could be construed as anything other than a happy ending. it’s bittersweet, i suppose — he has a lot to unlearn, and he has a lot to discover, and there will be a very long period of time where he struggles to accept the vast changes in his life. but i don’t think any of those changes will have been for the worse.

#be forewarned that below that readmore is. well it's 2.5k words #I Would Say That I Think About Wuvvy Acofaf A Normal Amount #kpvvy #kpruevvy #acofaf

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literateish · 4 years ago

Text

closer to closure

summary: months after your break up with hotch, you meet again at jj and will's wedding.

pairing: past aaron hotchner x reader, background aaron hotchner x beth clemmons

genre: angst

word count: 1k

prompt: "i would've done anything for you."

————

Aaron Hotchner was the love of your life. That thought first took you by surprise the day that he showed up unannounced on your doorstep with a bunch of your favourite flowers, a bashful smile adorning his face. Telling him he was the love of your life became second nature when he would crawl into your shared bed after a long kiss, arms outstretched, longing to hold you. Aaron Hotchner being the love of your life had once comforted you, your heart soaring at the thought of him, but now it just hurt; the all-consuming pain of knowing he was the love of your life, but you were never his.

You had taken the relationship slowly, allowing Aaron to adjust to the idea of love after loss. It had begun in the most horribly cliched way possible with you bumping into him in the local coffee shop, but you wouldn’t have rather had it any other way. It led to hands brushing as you walked down the street, late night dinners by candlelight, a first kiss in your doorway as he bid you goodnight, endless games of hide and seek with his son, family outings with his team, your toothbrush living next to his, waking up to a kiss on your forehead, and falling asleep to the three simple words I love you. It was perfect. He was perfect. Until it wasn’t.

Bags packed and goodbyes said, you moved out and he moved on. Your relationship had been a crescendo of love, slowly building over time, but ended in apologetic looks and awkward interactions. Your love was loud, but your end was quiet.

You had tried to keep in touch with the team after the breakup. They had become close friends of yours, and losing them along with Aaron seemed inconceivable. It worked for a while, but as conversation silenced at the mention of their boss and awkward glances exchanged over drinks, it became increasingly evident that it couldn’t work. However, a message from David Rossi asking if you were free to attend a wedding at his house had you throwing on your best formal attire and mentally preparing for an event that would do nothing but remind you of how painfully single you were.

It made sense for Aaron to be there, of course he would be there, but you hadn’t fully processed that thought until you were standing alone in Dave’s garden, drink in hand, as he sood painfully not alone.

It was sad, the way you and Aaron had gone back to being strangers, as if the years you spent together had never happened. He had known you in the most intimate sense of the word. He knew the exact thing to say to make you smile. He knew everything you had been through and everything you aspired to achieve. He knew your darkest fears and greatest dreams. He knew you. And you knew him. Yet you had somehow become strangers, walking past each other and pretending you didn't know him at all.

He was the person you had loved with an all-consuming passion. He was the person you would've anything for. He was the person who had left you as a hopeless wreck when he left.

And there he was. Happy.

He was occupying the edge of the designated dancing area with a woman you hadn't seen before, a smile on his face as she whispered in his ear. That fucking smile. You never forgot that smile. The team had always joked about how Aaron never smiled, he was merely just a stoic figure, void of emotion, so when he smiled for you, you had felt like the luckiest person in the world. That smile was reserved for you, and you only, but now he was smiling at her.

It was jarring to see that he was over you, that he had moved on and found happiness without you.

Leaving Aaron was the hardest thing you'd ever done. You didn't think there was anything worse than leaving someone you were still completely and utterly in love with, but now as you stood in Dave’s garden, you watched Aaron move on, falling for someone else. He was completely oblivious to the fact that your heart was still breaking, and you realised that maybe this was worse. Loving him whilst he loved someone else? Well, that was an entirely new level of pain.

He was happy, and you almost despised him for his ability to move on and forget you as fast as he had. You wished that for just one moment, Aaron could experience how you felt. That thought was dismissed after a moment of consideration as you realised the shame and embarrassment that would come with that. You didn't need Aaron to know that months after your breakup, you still cried for him at night, your hand still felt empty without his, you still yearned for him. No, he was happy, and you guessed you should try to be happy for him.

As if Aaron could feel your eyes on him, he looked up from across the garden and met your eyes. It was like that fateful day all those memories ago when you looked up at him from the coffee shop, yet this time your heart was sinking rather than soaring. You stood still, paralysed by pain instead of love as he made his way over to you.

“Hey,” he began, “it’s been a while.”

“Yeah,” you croaked out a response.

An awkward silence settled between you. Once upon a time, the two of you could fill hours with conversation or merely just enjoy the silence with each other, but now there was avoidance of eye contact and shuffling of feet.

“So, how have you been?” Aaron finally asked.

You wanted to scream. You wanted to yell at him about how you had longed for him every moment since you left. You wanted to plead for a second chance to prove you were made for each other. You wanted to cry that you would've done anything for him. But what was the point of any of that when he was evidently in love with someone else? The questions you had asked yourself every night as you lay awake wondering if he was okay without you had been answered. Now you knew.

“I’m good,” you replied.

Maybe it wasn’t the entire truth, but maybe one day it would be. You'll never stop loving Aaron Hotchner, but maybe now you could move on.

————

thank you for reading! please leave a lil comment or reblog if you liked it :)

taglist: @cmily @jillys-feral-fandoms @anastasiahotchner @agent—swan @caitlinnann @averyhotchner @delilahalvez @strung-by-fate @reidselle @jareauswan @will-on-the-internet @aaronhoetchner - pls let me know if your url has changed since the taglist was made so i can update it :)

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x gn!reader #aaron hotchner x beth clemmons #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #criminal minds #aaron hotchner fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #han writes stuff #han talks cm

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pvrpuras · 3 years ago

Text

silent enim leges inter arma.

a character study on lady takao akane, 47BG.

it had been years since she had stepped foot into hari bulkan. two years, to be exact. the last time she visited the lavish banquet halls of the royal palace, akane had still been an uppish young woman who could not be any less concerned with the crown prince’s coronation. i don’t like you she had told him back then, a cheeky grin playing on her lips, while everyone else was congratulating him and paying their respects. it was not exactly classy, but it was short and sweet. and most importantly, it was honest.

now that she found herself back in same exact hall where she had once expressed her true emotions towards chaeseong, she couldn’t help but shake her head at her former self. so pre-occupied with unimportant drama and gossip, her nose was always stuck in everyone else‘s business. akane had been so ridiculously busy keeping tabs on everyone else that she completely forgot to care about her own life and her own beliefs. how silly she had been— how careless. oh, what would she give to be this careless and free once more.

as she waited patiently to be seated, akane found herself replaying the events of the past two years in her mind. she didn’t need reminding: nowadays it was impossible for her to sleep soundly without dreaming about the unfortunate happenings in her once beloved nation she used to call her home mere years ago. she mourned the girl she was before the royal family‘s disagreement divided the entire nation, she mourned the girl she was before she was sent into combat by the crown. it would be my greatest honour, she had answered when she was offered a military general position. back then, the young lady had a proud smile plastered all over her face but she had silently wondered why nobody had noticed her knees shaking in fear of what was yet to come. now that she was older and wiser, she knew that they did notice. they just could not be bothered to do something about it.

back then she had been in favour of the youngest prince chaehwi: she believed in his birth right and thought badly of chaeseong. in her eyes, he was insanely greedy to try and become the fire lord and ridiculously brazen at that. now that she had seen the youngest prince‘s true colours, she was lost. akane didn’t know what or who to believe, all she knew was that she wanted this war to end, no matter the outcome.

as she was seated and served a warm meal prepared with great detail, she was painfully reminded of the way she found out about the fire lord‘s plans to marry her. the news had reached her via letter: overly polite and beautifully handwritten. she still remembered the blood-curdling scream she had let out then, much louder than any sound her vocal cords had ever allow her to produce. she remembered the countless servants and guards she had yelled at, she remembered her mother trying to calm her down. why are you upset? lady takao wondered, eyebrows furrowing. this is great news. you are going to be betrothed to the fire lord and bear his heir. you are going to bring great honour to our house. akane realised then that she may have been adopted, yet she had never had a family after all.

waiting for the fire lord to arrive was gut-wrenching. waiting to meet jinah and tell her the news in person was far, far worse. over the last two years their meetings had been only few but still, every time they saw each other the fire between them was ignited once again. akane spent every free minute writing love letters and spraying them with her dearest perfume. she spent all of her time without her thinking about her dear lover waiting for her to return. akane had once sworn that she would never let a person this close to her heart and yet she found herself worrying about yeon jinah at every second of every minute of every hour of every passing day. she loved her, that was clear, with every fibre of her beating heart. we are going to be together after this war is over, she had ensured her. now, only a couple months later, she was worried sick that she was going to have to break the biggest promise she had ever made.

her mind raced and wandered until the door finally swung open and she was met with the harsh reality going by the name of fire lord chaeseong.

mentioned muses: @calefactions & @ulysse4s

#i wondered whether i should do this as an ooc post but i decided to tell y’all what happened in those 2 years by writing a solo ;;#ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚ うちは炎だよ。 — 𝖙𝖆𝖐𝖆𝖔 𝖆𝖐𝖆𝖓𝖊 .

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writingforyourpleasure · 4 years ago

Text

I have a thing for Car wash

Genre: NonIdol!AU, SummerJob!AU

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Summary: You do car wash as a summer job each year. But this year , 7 new employees are added to the mix.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: none

A/N: Thoses Butter's concept photoshoot are gonna be the death of me ...

______

Summer’s Job never been dreamy or appealing you always preferred to stay home and play games or hangout with your friends.

You were doing the same summer job from your high school’s years throughout your UNI years, this year was the last year where you could work at the same gas station you usually spent your summer’s at. You were quite happy about this news because your work there wasn’t really enjoyable to say the least.

You were working as car washer.

The staff was limited to you and Gladys. Gladys was an Australian grandma’ with an heavy accent and a loud voice.

You used to complain about the underpaid job and understaff issue to her each year , but even if she tried her best to pay you more each year, the problem of understaff was remaining.

Plus you had the marvelous advantage , note the irony, to be a woman. So of course you had some guy every now and then asking you for some porn kink including cars and water to you.

And of course as soon as you dared to say to them that it was not respectful of them to ask for such favors , well their ego feeling insecure will make them insult you ‘til Gladys will come out and try to dissolve any trouble. And if they didn’t leave… well then Tallulah will come help you out. Were Gladys was a true perfect cottage core granny , Tallulah her spouse, was a weightlifting Olympics coach. So she was , massive and looked very frightening.

But since she was often occupied most of the time Gladys would have to do the trick , and if too much persistent she would call her little brother Jeff a policeman always coming in and out of the shop to check on things.

It was nice, for a summer or two, but seeing as it’s been years since you were first introduce to this summer’s job to say it became painfully annoying was an understatement.

And this year would be the same…

Or so you though.

Gladys finally took your complains about the car wash job being understaffed and recruited a few people to help out .

When she said a few, you though she was talking about 2 to 3 people.

But no, no non no no no. Gladys took in 7 people !

She promised you your check wouldn’t take any damage by the presence of those new employees , but you sincerely doubt that.

And of course you’ll have to show them around and proceed to show them how to wash a car because of course it’s not like anybody could know how to do it by themselves.

You were moody when that tons of information’s felled down on your head, but now finding yourself in front of the 7 new employees changed everything.

Apparently Gladys misspelled car wash job for model’s photoshoot coz’ those 7 boys were for sure way too beautiful to need a car wash job.

It had to be a prank, right?

So being more self aware in what you’ve been for years you showed carefully those men of to do the job. And no it wasn’t cute or sexy, far from it.

You were dressed in your yellow hoodie and black jogging with flip-flop.

For once you wished you had were those fucking shorts looking like panties more than anything, and a crop top or something similar, like all those freaks watching too much porn often asked you to.

But no , and those guys were dressed in matching outfits in jeans and whites tee.

Even if they were very dreamy swoon over , you had more pressing issues to think about.

Like why one of them started a water fight with another one, and putting a stop to it before one of them put soap into their eyes.

“Okay guys!!! Please stop …? I don’t want to have to report you to Gladys on your first day okay? So keep that behavior for when you’re on your own okay?”

“Sorry , we didn’t meant to …” Said one.

“Huh sorry to interrupt , but none of us seems to have catch your name earlier ?” Said the guy with blue hair.

You liked his hair, it was nice, like blue waves , more darker on the edges and lighter on the center of his scalp. He had such beautiful eyes too, so sharp an-

Oh god , wait did you really lost yourself by admiring him?!

“Huh miss???”

“Y-Yeah !!! Haha my name’s Y/N !” You extended your hand , losing your mind for talking in a higher voice to him , good job at not being suspect Y/N….

And you hated yourself even more for being awkward by presenting your hand to him. But he, on the other hand sensed your discomfort and made your move seem completely normal shaking your hand lightly and giving you a cute smile showing off his dimples.

“Namjoon,…. And those two are Jungkook and Taehyung, and I hate to be the one breaking it to you but we’re probably gonna have a hard time keeping them calm.”

“Oh… Okay” You just ended , looking to the two guys involved in the previous water fight, and looking back to Namjoon’s face. He was calm and put you at ease. Hargh you were staring , good job on not being a freak Y/N .

The one all covered in jean from head to toe approached you, and ever so silently spoke to you.

“Hate to be a bother Y/N, but can I have a bucket to wring out my sponge, please?”

“Huh Yeah of course huh-hu….”

“Yoongi’s the name…”

“Oh huh well yeah let me get that from Gladys to you okay I’ll be back in just a sec Yoongi.”

He nodded very calm much to your dismay as you were starting to feel anxious about advising Gladys for more employees, maybe you should have just shut it.

You entered the store who basked in a sunny light as the morning was starting to begin for most of other people’s in the city.

At the register was one of the new employees, he wore a plaid skirt and converse’s with a white thee and jean shirt. You couldn’t believe how gracious his lips draw themselves on his face. They looked pillowy and as dreamy as the six other’s man out there waiting for you.

“Huh hello ? You might remember me from earlier ? Y/N the foremost employee?”

“Of course I do you’re the sweet mango! “

“I’m sorry what ?”

“The sweet mango ! The color of your sweatshirt look alike a mango!”

“I-I Yeah it does…”

“Would you like another nickname maybe? I’m sorry if this one doesn’t fit your style haha. What about little mouse ?”

“Do I look like a little mouse ?”

“No ,you look like a fucking rat”

Said another voice coming from behind you.

“I beg you pardon?”

You turn over to the masculine voice behind you to find yourself facing a chest. Your eyes flew up to the face of the stranger, ready to take down any bratty client. And you were surprised to face a smiling shit eating brunette man glancing down at you . He was snickering and looking at you like he was mentally undressing you with his eyes.

“Yah ! Jin ! Don’t be rude to our new friend!”

You look down to the content in his arms, some sandwiches squeezed between bottles of water.

“Wait your on job duty ! Why aren’t you with the others ?” You started to take over yourself and focus on your task, keeping everything organized.

“Some of us forgot to bring our lunch to work this morning , so I volunteered to go for it , but you’ve been blocking the line too preoccupied to talk to mister big flirt over there.”

He gestured at the cashier.

“We weren’t flirt-“

“You totally were!” Gladys interrupted you coming out from the back of the shop with several boxes of energy bars .

“Gladys I would ne-“

“Don’t lie to me girl ! Okay Jimin go fill up the shelves with those and Jin , you’re lucky you have a nice face, it’s on the house for today so go back to work will you now?”

“Sure thing Gladys! Thank you so much !” He offered her a wink before smirking down at you , going back to his devices.

“AND SHE DOESN’T LOOK LIKE A RAT! BUT YOU SURE TALK LIKE A BRATT!!!” Shouted Gladys at Jin, while a girl was approaching him to take care of her car and asking for his number. He was a blushing mess and Tae had to intervene to talk an eligible sentence to, the poor lost girl, after that.

“Now, Y/N what do you need sweetheart? I mean other than Jimin’s number of course?” She had said it loud enough for Jimin to hear it and bringing a cute smile on his face content of his accomplishments.

“Gladys please stop. “ You warned her with a tired face. She maybe looked old but she was fearless for sure .

“I need extra buckets for the boys, please.”

She leaved the register for what felt only two seconds before bringing over 5 extra buckets for you , to share.

“Thank you , you’re a life savior!”

“I know , should have started a sect when it was trendy.”

You left laughing to her dumb joke , but not before quickly glancing to Jimin. After that event you formed three distinct groups between all of you to get their heads in the game.

But with Jimin busy with helping out Gladys around the store, one of them was standing by himself.

“Okay since your alone I’ll help out for today.”

“Really? Thank you so much I was worried I’ll found myself alone when everyone’s having fun in groups.”

You looked around to indeed found them more busy playing around then actively work in silence .

“Yeah well normally having so much fun isn’t part of the job but I don’t want to kill the mood.”

“I’m Hoseok by the way but you can call me Hobi ! “ He said with a heart shaped smile.

“Y/N. Haha did you had to see Jimin assigning you a nickname too?”

“No this one’s for my crushes .” He said glancing up at you with stars shining eyes behind the comfort of his sunglasses.

“Yah! Hobi Does it mean I’m one of your freaking crushes?!” Yelled a not-so-speechless Jin , across the parking lot.

“Why don’t you come found out ?!” Yelled back a way too enthusiast Hoseok.

The day went by pretty quietly apart from those 7 agents of chaos you were stuck with from now.

Lunch came around pretty quickly and you all went to the back of the shop to have your break there , enjoying the nice breeze of the fan, while chatting.

“So , how come you’re all working here this summer?” You asked between bites of your meal.

“My aunt knows Gladys and told me she was recruiting , and since I was in need of a job I took it.” Said Jimin looking at you oh so charmingly.

“I have a thing for car wash.” Said Jin like it was completely normal.

“Your such a weirdo something hyung I swear… I was in need of a summer job saw the flyers by the campus and thought why not ? Here I am.”

Replied Jungkook slowly slurping down his noodles.

“We wanted to prove some sexist asshole that , no it wasn’t , a job only reserved to women.” Said a disgusted Namjoon swallowing quickly his part of the sandwich.

“I want to be a social entrepreneur.”

Said Taehyung leaving you with wide eyes.

“How is that related to bein-“

“If I succeed to make this place a rentable place from just the car wash then I could do anything.”

“And how would you do that ?” asked Jin dismissing his lunch to look over at Taehuyng.

“What about a photoshoot?”

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starryhyuck · 5 years ago

Text

sleep well? (m) | incubus!jaehyun

pairing: incubus!jaehyun x human!reader

words: 2.9k+

summary: occupied with work and a numerous amount of projects, you haven’t been able to get a good night’s sleep in a while. jaehyun can help with that.

genre: smut

warnings: dom!jaehyun, sub!reader, dirty talk, unprotected sex, creampie, talks of large amounts of cum, nipple play, hair pulling, overstimulation, mention of pregnancy

“Still can’t sleep?” Yangyang asks and takes a small sip of the tea you made for him.

“Hasn’t it been days already?” Taeyong questions worriedly. “You should see a doctor.”

You brushed him off, slouching on your dusty couch. Lately, you had been so backed up with work and projects for your classes that sleep had been the last thing on your mind. You were jumping from the late shift at the campus cafe to meeting up with your lab partner to finish the last leg of your final project. For the past few days, you had slept four or five hours at the most.

“Why don’t you just take a sleeping pill and have a night off?” Mark suggests, even more worried than Taeyong. “You deserve it, you’ve been working so hard.”

“I’m fine, guys. Honestly,” you reassure, but Taeyong and Mark still glance at you worriedly. Yangyang nods at you, scrolling through his phone before laughing at another video on Instagram.

Doyeon shoves him and he glares at her. “What was that for?”

She rolls her eyes, standing up to sit next to you on the couch. “Y/N, you seriously need to sleep. Overworking yourself is not the answer. Just take a night off of work and get a good rest.”

“I’ll think about it, alright? Seriously, you guys don’t need to worry about me. I’m gonna be fine.”

The group exchanges glances with one another before looking at the resolve of your expression. The topic wasn’t brought up again that night.

—

You might be growing delirious.

The words on your computer screen are starting to blur together, and your hands are shaking from a lack of sleep.

Maybe Doyeon’s right, a good rest wouldn’t hurt.

You close your laptop in favor of finding warmth beneath your comforter. However, as soon as you close your eyes, you feel a pair of warm lips pressing gentle kisses to your neck.

Your eyes open wide as you stare at the man before you. He was devilishly handsome, dimples peeking out as he smiled at you. There was something in his smile — something so mischievous that you felt like you were missing the punchline of a joke.

“Hi, baby,” he whispers, sending a shudder down your spine.

You pull your comforter up to your chin, suddenly feeling exposed in his presence. “W-Who are you?”

He tilts his head and smiles at your innocent question. You finally take note of what he’s wearing — nothing but a plain white t-shirt and sweatpants. It’s something any guy on campus would wear and for some reason, it calms you a little bit to see him.

He doesn’t answer your question, instead choosing to slip his hand in your panties, playing with your folds gently. You moan, back arching off the bed at the simple pleasure you felt from his small actions. You don’t even have to take a glance at him to know he’s smiling at you. His lips return to kissing up and down your neck.

“I heard someone’s having a hard time sleeping.”

You blink, trying to register his words as he slips a finger into you. You bite down on your bottom lip as you try to think about how he could’ve known. Was he a friend of Taeyong and Mark’s? The two boys were members of a nearby fraternity so the assumption wasn’t too far off. But that still didn’t explain how he managed to enter your apartment.

Before you have time to question him further, he slips another finger into you, his thumb rubbing small circles on your clit. You try to hold back your moans in fear of being too loud. The walls aren’t exactly paper thin and you would prefer not to run into any awkward encounters with your neighbors in the elevator.

“What’s holding you back, angel? Sing for me,” he commands, his fingers curling up. You release a breathy moan and it seems to please him, as he begins scissoring his fingers inside of you. “Good girl. Baby just wants some sleep, huh?”

You nod and reach for the band of his sweatpants, desperate to feel full. He smiles at your actions, pulling his fingers out and shoving his sweatpants down his legs, kicking the fabric off of him.

Your eyes glimmer at the sight of his cock, the tip angry and red, precum already leaking. He’s massive to say the least, and your mouth waters at the sight of him, eager to feel him inside of you. You realize how long it’s been since you actually slept with someone, and you glance up at him.

He chuckles at you, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. The kiss is soft and gentle, nothing you would’ve expected from him. He pulls away to whisper in your ear. “I’ve been waiting for this for so long, sweet angel. Will you let me inside?”

You don’t hesitate. “Yes, yes,” you beg. “Please, I want to feel full.”

His eyes darken at your words and suddenly his aura completely changes. His stance becomes intimidating and his grin turns more devilish. You feel a little nervous at his stare, as if he was a predator looking at his prey.

He pulls down your shorts and panties, lining himself up at your entrance and pushing inside. You gasp at the intrusion, pain overtaking your body. You feel him nipping at your neck as he bottoms out. He releases a sigh of relief while your body gets accustomed to his cock.

“Sweet angel just wants to sleep,” he muses before giving a shallow thrust. The pain morphs into pleasure as his thrusts accelerate. “Just wants a big cock to fill her small pussy up so she can feel better, right?”

You moan loudly at his rapid pace, feeling as if you’re floating with the amount of pleasure he’s providing you. You’re approaching your first orgasm without having any stimulation to your clit, something no one’s been able to do to you before.

“I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come,” you repeat, fingers grasping his shoulders tightly.

“Come, sweet angel,” he encourages. His cock had to be moving at an inhuman pace, where you could feel every thrust in your belly.

“So deep,” you gasp, almost as if you could feel him in your throat. You nearly scream when the cord in you snaps, your orgasm completely enveloping your body in pleasure.

He fucks you as you recover from your first orgasm, and you squirm at the overstimulation. “Take it,” he groans, hand coming up to curl around your neck. “Take it like a fucking whore.”

You release an incoherent noise at the name, and he smiles down at you. “Yeah, you like that, huh? You like being nothing but a cum dumpster for me. Such a whore. You’ll do anything to get a good sleep.”

You claw at his chest as the pain from the overstimulation ebbs away, once again overtaken by pleasure. You swear you can see stars at this point and you’re drunk over his cock, wanting to have him inside of you all the time.

“Where do you want my cum, sweet angel?” He asks, fingers tightening around your windpipe.

“Inside, please,” you choke out and he grins, pleased with your answer.

It’s not long before you feel yourself tipping over the edge again, seeing white as you convulse around him. He groans when your pussy tightens around him and he follows in pursuit, pushing deep inside as cum shoots inside of you.

When you come to, you realize how long he’s been cumming. A minute has almost passed before he’s finally satisfied, body slumping on top of you. You feel completely full of his cum, and some of it starts to drip out of you.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you, sweet angel.”

Your vision starts to become hazy and the sight of him is blurry. “I never got your name,” you whisper in realization, your body starting to succumb to slumber.

“You can call me Jaehyun. Sleep well, sweet angel.”

Your eyes blink rapidly as you wake from your sleep, the light of the dawn peeking through your window. You try to make sense of your surroundings, patting the other side of your bed to see where Jaehyun had gone.

He was nowhere to be found, but when you try to get up from your bed, you feel something sticky between your thighs. You throw the comforter off of your body, eyes widening at the sight of an exorbitant amount of cum staining your pajama shorts.

Your ears attune to any sort of noise outside, but you hear nothing. Jaehyun was gone.

Was it all a dream?

—

“You look better,” Mark remarks, settling down across from you with a large americano in his hand. “Did you finally get some sleep?”

“Yes, thankfully,” you murmur, taking a sip from your own drink.

Taeyong smiles in relief. “Glad to hear. Did you take one of those sleeping pills?”

You feel embarrassed at the thought of yesterday’s events. When you awoke, you were late for your first class but you had managed to get the best sleep of your life. Still, you couldn’t seem to distinguish whether you made Jaehyun up in your dreams or if he was actually real. The amount of cum left between your thighs seemed to agree with the latter.

“Not really. I just managed to fall asleep,” you mutter uncomfortably, moving in your seat.

Mark and Taeyong seem to accept your response, both of the boys glad you finally managed to get some rest.

“Hey,” you clear your throat, wondering how you should approach the conversation. “Do the both of you know of a guy named Jaehyun?”

Their faces curl in confusion at the name. Mark shakes his head. “No, never heard of him. Why? Is he rushing soon?”

“No,” you wave off. “I just know him from somewhere. Thought you guys would’ve heard of him.”

“Don’t think I have,” Taeyong shrugs. “Maybe Yangyang has. That kid knows half of the entire campus.”

All of you chuckle, and the Jaehyun conversation is forgotten.

—

You tap your finger on your chin thoughtfully, staring at your empty fridge. You knew your forgot to do something earlier. You sigh, moving to sort through your pantry cabinet.

Spam it is, then.

You take out the container and your cutting board, ready to begin making a dinner fit for college students. You gasp in shock when a pair of hands slither around your waist, someone’s chin resting on your shoulder.

“Is that what you’re eating for dinner?”

You recognize the voice that’s been haunting your thoughts for the past few days. Your hands grip the cutting board.

“How did you get in?” You whisper breathlessly, unsure of how to approach the situation.

He places a kiss on the nape of your neck. “You let me in, remember?”

You don’t recall doing such a thing, but you fail to question him as his hand slips further down your body. “Pretty girl. Have you been able to sleep since I last saw you?”

You shake your head, thinking about the restless nights you’ve been having since he disappeared. “Not really.”

“Poor baby. Did you need my touch to help you sleep?”

You grip the counter as Jaehyun’s hand plays with your folds over your panties. “Yes, yes. Needed you here. Couldn’t sleep without you.”

“I’m here now, baby,” he assures, licking a stripe up your neck. You shudder at the sensation. “Gonna help you sleep.”

You lean back against him as he continues to rub over your folds. “So nice and wet for me. Soaking your panties.”

“You ruined my last pair,” you choke out. “You left so much cum.”

He chuckles darkly, finally pulling aside your underwear to slip a finger into you. You keen at the touch. “Sorry, sweet angel. I couldn’t help it — I didn’t cum for so long and your pussy was so sweet.” He pauses and enters another finger into you. “Think you need another good fuck to get some sleep, baby.”

“I think so too,” you sigh, your eyes fluttering shut as his fingers curl inside you.

He whispers softly in your ear. “Been wanting to ruin you again. Seeing you so pliant for me, so submissive, it got me so worked up baby. Wanted to make you wait for it so I could give you another big load of cum. Would you like that, baby?”

“Fuck yes,” you exclaim and he slips a third finger into you. “I want it badly, Jaehyun. Please please please.”

“Good girl,” he praises, fingers slipping out of you. He quickly shoves them in your mouth and you moan around his digits, tasting yourself. He’s quick to work his belt buckle with his other hand and shove his pants and underwear down to his ankles.

He strips you down too, taking his fingers out of your mouth to push your camisole up and cup your breast. You quickly get rid of your shorts and panties and Jaehyun laughs at your eagerness.

“So good for me,” he lines himself up to your entrance and you can’t wait to be full again. When he pushes inside, your back arches and his hand slips around your waist, fingers moving to rub at your clit.

You moan loudly when he bottoms out and Jaehyun grunts. “Sing for me, sweet angel. Let everyone know who owns you.”

And you sing for him. Your knuckles are turning white from how hard you’re gripping the counter as Jaehyun ruts against you. He suddenly throws your body over the kitchen counter, thrusting in and out rapidly.

“Cream my cock, baby. Want to feel you,” he moans, pulling your hair so that he can hear you.

Your body twitches as you come first, lips parting open in pure pleasure. You chant Jaehyun’s name as you come down from your high, feeling like you’re in a permanent state of bliss.

Jaehyun continues to fuck you without any signs of stopping, groans leaving him here and there. “Feel so good, baby. Waited so long for this. So so good for me.”

You babble incoherently as you let him use you, your second orgasm building up in your tummy. You could feel every part of him yet somehow you craved more. You wanted all of his cum, just so you could feel full after he left.

“Jaehyun, I want all your cum. Please, want to feel you.”

He growls, pulling you up against him. His hands move to cup your breasts again, fingers rolling over your nipples. You envelop his mouth into a kiss as he continues to thrust into you.

“You’re such a fucking whore,” he hisses. “All you want is cum. I gave you such a big load the other day but you already want more.”

“Yes, yes, yes,” you chant against his mouth. Your mind was literally empty — all you could think about was his cock.

“Show me you want it,” he demands, pinching your clit. That’s all it takes to send you over the edge, coming around him again.

You don’t even register that he’s coming inside you until you feel warmth in your belly. You slouch against him and his arms snake around you.

“Such a pretty girl,” he muses. You stare up at him.

“Don’t want you to leave,” you murmur against his skin, leaning up to kiss him. He smiles against your mouth.

“Who said I’m leaving? I don’t think you’re tired yet, baby. My job’s not done yet.”

“What?” You ask, but it falls on deaf ears as you’re once again thrown over the counter.

Jaehyun thrusts into you, already hard again. You moan, knowing you have a long night ahead of you.

—

A knock on your door disrupts your slumber.

“Y/N?” Doyeon’s voice filters through your apartment. “Hello? Are you in there?”

Sitting up on your couch, you call out blearily. “Yeah! Give me a sec!”

When you try to get up, you feel something dripping. Your eyes glance downward and there’s a huge stain on your couch. Your pajama shorts are soaked, and your panties feel like there’s a huge load of cum inside.

“Um,” you mumble, raising your voice to call out to Doyeon again. “I’m not feeling well! Rain check?”

You hear her laugh outside of your door. “Fine! I’ll go bug Yangyang. Feel better and get some sleep!”

If only she knew.

—

You yawned as Mark recited his essay back to you. He had come over a hour ago, freaking out about his final term essay he needed to turn in.

“Well? Does it sound like I’ll fail?”

You laugh. “Mark, the essay sounds fine. You’re overthinking.”

He scoffs. “I’m most definitely not. You don’t know what this professor’s like — he hates me.”

“Who could hate you?” You laugh at the idea of anyone hating Mark Lee.

He just rolls his eyes. “I knew I should’ve started working on it two weeks ago. He said it was due the 28th but I didn’t have time until two days ago.”

“Wait, what did you say?” You pause, suddenly feeling incredibly ill.

“That it’s due tonight? On the 28th?”

You blink at him. No way. That’s impossible.

“You okay, Y/N? You’ve been sleeping better, right?”

You take a deep breath and smile at him. “Yeah. I’m good. Something just came to mind.”

You’re late.

#nct smut #jaehyun #jaehyun smut

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byrachel · 4 years ago

Text

PREFERENCE VALENTINE’S DAY WITH THEM

characters: jacob black, paul lahote, quil ateara, embry call, seth clearwater, leah clearwater, sam uley

warnings: some suggestive themes

note: I don’t really like this so might delete this later 😭

JACOB BLACK

Being the most creative couple there is, Jacob and you decided to organize a small Valentine’s day themed party. You guys crafted so many red and pink heart shaped things you were getting tired of the colors. When the day finally came and everyone was having the time of their lives, you were very confused when someone lowered the music and everyone backed away from you. Confused, you looked at Emily, who signaled you to turn around.

Before you even turned around, the tears were welling up in your eyes, not believing your boyfriend tricked you into organizing your proposal party with him. When you finally faced him your hands were covering your uncontrollable smile, the tears finally falling as saw Jacob down on one knee, holding a self made ring in his hand. He wasn’t even able to get the question out as you’d thrown yourself at him, your arms wrapped around his neck.

“Yes, yes, yes!”

PAUL LAHOTE

Paul definitely wasn’t the most romantic guy when it came to gifts, but knowing how much valentine’s day meant to you he still wanted to plan something special. Movies were something you were both into so he decided to do something slightly different and took you to a drive-in. On the way there you stopped at a grocery store to pick all of your favorite snacks and drinks.

Normally the two of you had no problems paying attention to movies while you were together, but on that particular night you couldn’t get enough of each other. Feeding each other the snacks, talking about your plans for the future and kisses and touches here and there, sometimes getting a little carried away. At the end of the movie you couldn’t even explain the plot to each other, but it still felt like an accomplished night. You got to spend the whole day with your boyfriend, enjoying his undivided attention (something you didn’t get a lot of). On your way home you decided to get some food and make the car date last a little longer, just because you couldn’t have enough of the day.

QUIL ATEARA

‘A day has 24 hours so for every hour there is a clue for you’

You could basically imagine the grin on his face as you read Quil’s text with a location attached to it, where you would find your first clue. The whole afternoon you were running all over the reservation to unravel where to find the next one, the riddles only getting more difficult as you were getting closer and closer to the unknown prize.

Three hours later you ended up at Quil’s place, excited to see what you had won with the 24 clues in your hand. Meeting Quil inside he let you know that the back of the clues were like a puzzle and you only had to put them in the right order. You were glad it was definitely much easier than the scavenger hunt you went on, only having to put the clues in order of what moment in your relationship the riddles revered to. When you finally put every piece in it’s place you turned all the clues over and it spelled out: ‘WILL YOU MOVE IN WITH ME?’

With the biggest smile on your face you looked up at your boyfriend, who was impatiently waiting for your answer. “So?”

“Of course it’s a yes!”

EMBRY CALL

Being in a relationship with your high school sweetheart is fun, until you’ve literally given each other everything over the years you’ve been together. No gift was original anymore and although you knew each other through and through there was nothing you hadn’t done yet. So for Valentine’s day Embry was coming up with ideas months in advance so you wouldn’t be disappointed.

When he couldn’t find anything and stopped looking, his idea came to him. He was looking through his old stuff from high school and he found all the little notes you made him when you were in class together. He wasn’t even sure you knew he kept all of them, wanting to look back and remember the moments your love for each other first started. Back then all of his gifts were more materialistic so he wanted to make something sentimental.

Inspired by your old high school love notes he decided to respond to all of them and put his colorful notes in a decorated jar. He woke you up, a tray with breakfast, two cups of tea and your gift waiting for you. With a grin on his face he chuckled, nibbling on his self made scrambled eggs as you read each of the notes out loud to him. You could feel your heart melt more and more, the deeper you got into the jar.

SETH CLEARWATER

Something you loved doing together but never had the time for, was baking. There was never enough time for the two of you to commit to it and when there was Seth suddenly had to be somewhere else, leaving you to decorate the baked goods on your own.

For Valentine’s Day Seth made sure he had absolutely no plans. He got the day off from Sam and took a day off from work two months in advance, just to get to make some cute cupcakes with you. Knowing you had the whole day to do whatever you had to do, you decided to take the challenge and make the cupcakes from scratch. In theory it wasn’t the hardest thing to do with the experience you guys had, but all the flour made your inner children come to the surface.

Baking cupcakes ended up in throwing flour at each other and eventually there were no cupcakes, all the ingredients ending up on either your bodies, the kitchen counters or the floor. You didn’t get any sweet out of it, but getting to spend a whole day with your boyfriend was more than enough to enjoy your day. And you got to shower together in the end, something you would never say no to.

LEAH CLEARWATER

Leah wasn’t someone who enjoyed days like Valentine’s day or birthdays, but not having done anything for your birthday because that day got rudely interrupted by new vampires roaming the area, she definitely wanted to make sure you got something that time.

She wasn’t big on gifts, but she was looking online for weeks just to find you something perfect. She didn’t want to make a big deal out of the present, nonchalantly handing it to you when you guys were eating dinner. “It’s nothing.” She mumbled, shyly looking away when she saw your eyes lit up. Opening it, you found two matching silver bracelets, engraved with both of your initials and the date you started dating.

Before Leah could give you another warning to not make a big deal out of it, you were already on her side of the kitchen table, gratefully covering her face in kisses.

SAM ULEY

Sam and you were the couple who only got to spent time together on weekends. You only having night shifts and Sam only having day shifts made sure you only saw each other briefly when one arrived at home while the other had to leave, leaving both of you with a lonely empty spot next to you when you slept. Despite barely seeing each other, the love you shared was pure and the time spent apart only made you look forward to the time you could spend together with your husband.

You didn’t plan anything big for each other, just wanting to enjoy each other’s presence in peace. On that Sunday evening Sam was lying in your lap as you were talking about the crazy things that happened throughout the week. One hand was occupied by your half full whine glass while you were using your other to massage his scalp. His adorating gaze was on you as he sometimes completely forgot to respond to the things you were saying, his head full of how much he wished you could do this more often than just the two days you had together. You had a lot of laughs, the endless conversations almost making the both of you forget you had to work the next day.

JARED CAMERON

When Jared asked you what you wanted for Valentine’s day you didn’t seem too pumped, not really caring about the day at all. You had to study for an upcoming test, barely leaving any time for you to really invest in that day. Being the amazing boyfriend he was, Jared obviously didn’t mind, but still didn’t want to leave you empty handed.

He got you your favorite snacks to nibble on while you were studying. He made sure you gave yourself enough breaks and time to eat and drink so you could focus on what you were doing better. Although he would’ve rather taken you on an amazing date for both of you to enjoy, being there for you in stressful times was more important to him than anything else. And obviously he was still taking you on that date after finals were over to make sure you knew how proud he was of you.

masterlist | not edited | special event

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littlewinter1917 · 4 years ago

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ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴅᴀʏꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ

𝔸 𝔻𝕒𝕪 𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 ℤ𝕠𝕠

My blog is 18+ only. Minors DNI. 🔞 Don’t repost my work anywhere.

Series Masterlist

Words: 8.7k

Pairing: Steve Roger x Fem!Reader

Summary: You and Steve make the most out of the last days of summer and decide to visit the local zoo. But as fun and romantic as the activity is, you also have to face the fact that dating a well-known Super Soldier isn't always easy.

Warnings: It's pretty much just pure fluff, with the tiniest sparks of angst. Pet names (mostly Sweetheart & Angel) and some teasing. Maybe an undetected swearword or two.

If there are any warnings, that you think are missing, please don‘t hesitate to reach out and tell me, so I can add them accordingly.

A/N: This is my first time writing and sharing a story, so if you're reading this, I hope you enjoy!

“Sweetheart, are you ready yet?”

Steve calls out from the bedroom, hoping you’ll hear him while you’re getting ready a few doors down in the bathroom.

“Yes! I’m almost done!” you shout back, straightening your t-shirt and taking one last look in the mirror.

The excitement you feel is clearly written on your face, and you can’t help but let out a small squeal at the thought of all the animals you’ll be going to see and pet.

You are so caught up in your little daydream, that you don’t notice Steve’s approaching footsteps or the soft opening of the bathroom door.

With your mind still occupied, you turn around to leave the bathroom, only to be met with the sudden and unsuspected sight of Steve leaning casually against the door frame, smiling down at you lovingly.

“Good God, Steve!” you exclaim startled, clutching your hand to your chest, trying to calm down your now rapid heartbeat. Steve’s adoring gaze quickly turns into a more apologetic one, once he realizes that he accidentally scared you.

“Sorry Angel, I didn’t mean to frighten you.” he concedes, while gently pulling you closer and placing a soft kiss on your lips. “Hm,‘s not your fault.” you whisper against them whilst playing with the soft strands of hair at the back of his neck. Steve just hums at that, before tightening his arms around you and gently kissing your shoulder.

“So, you’re ready to go?” he murmurs against your skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

You only manage to nod in approval, not wanting to disturb the little moment of tenderness that engulfs the two of you. But once Steve starts to draw soft patterns on your back, you can’t help but let out a small sigh of content, snuggling closer to his chest and basking in the feeling of his gentle embrace.

The moment is short-lived though, as Steve decides to break the otherwise comfortable silence. “We should get going soon,” he mumbles, voice low, as he gently untangles himself from you.

Even though you try not to, you let out a soft whine, voicing your displeasure at the loss of his touch, making Steve coo.

“You can get all the cuddles you want Sweetheart, when we’re back from our little trip.” A small huff escapes your lips before you demonstratively hold out your pinky finger to him.

The sight of your stubborn determination makes Steve laugh, and the warmth of its sound fills both the room and your heart, making you smile.

“I pinky promise that you can get all the cuddles you want, Sweetheart.” Steve adoringly whispers, intertwining your little fingers, before pulling you into him again, gently kissing your forehead.

Your hands instinctively grab and hold on to him, trying to get him closer, and your honest display of affection and longing for him makes his heart flutter.

“Oh, Sweetheart,” he coos, “I thought you were excited about going to the zoo, hm?”

Oh god, the zoo!

You almost forgot about that completely, and by your wide-eyed reaction, Steve can clearly tell.

“So, you want to keep the penguins waiting, or… ?” he teases, and you playfully slap his side before reluctantly letting go and trying to move past him.

“You know, if you’d rather stay in today and have the zoo-date another time, we can always reschedule.” He says, his eyes searching yours, trying to communicate the same reassurance that his voice transports.

“No.” you chirp. The excitement from earlier is already back in your eyes, and you shake your head to emphasize your stand. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to keep the penguins waiting.” you add.

“Alright, then let’s get our things and get going. There is only so little time, and so many animals to see.”

“And plants!” you add enthusiastically, being almost equally excited about the small botanical garden that’s incorporated in the more tropical segment of the zoo.

“And the plants.” Steve agrees, while following you down the hallway, smiling.

🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋

While you were getting ready earlier, Steve had packed everything you two could possibly need into a big, sturdy backpack.

“I think we have everything.” Steve mumbles, more to himself than to you, while briefly going through its content again. “We have some sunscreen, sunglasses, water bottles and those sandwiches you helped me make, some snacks and fruits, money for the tickets, keys …”

He trails off, looking over the room once more, trying to think of anything he might have forgotten.

When he spots his baseball cap near the entrance, he speaks up again.

“Sweetheart, do you want to take a hat with you? The weather is supposed to get even hotter, and I don’t want you to get a heatstroke or something.”

“I think I’ll be fine, Stevie.” your voice is a little bit mumbled, since you’re currently kneeling on the ground, preoccupied with trying to tie up your sneakers.

“Alright! Well, I’ll be wearing mine, at least at the beginning …”

Steve doesn’t finish his sentence; he doesn’t need to – you already know what he is trying to say.

He’ll be wearing the cap not as a prevention for a possible heatstroke, but for the simple sake of at least some sense of anonymity, trying to lessen the chances of him being recognized.

It’s not like Steve hates the attention he often gets from the public. There are times when he is more than happy to stop for a quick photo or a handshake, but when he is out and about with you by his side, he does desire a certain sense of privacy, and so do you.

When you two first started dating, that was the hardest thing to get used to, and truth be told, you still struggle with it.

Obviously, you’d been aware of Steve’s public persona as Captain America, and the responsibility that the title entailed, long before you even started dating, but the visibility and public scrutiny that came with his occupation, was rather new to you.

Especially once the word got out, that the two of you were dating. Suddenly parts of the public interest that were initially focused on him also shifted on to you.

You used to joke, that if you’d get a dollar every time Steve and you get approached by people in public, you’d easily be able to compete with Tony’s net worth. And while you were obliviously exaggerating and making fun of the situation, Steve could also tell that it was taking somewhat of a toll on you.

To be fair, it wasn’t like you hated those encounters across the board. There were, and still are, a lot of times where Steve’s interactions with the public are nice to watch and take part of.

The number of times, for example, that random children would approach him, starstruck and starry-eyed, are as countless as they are endearing, which is to say, very - and, subsequently, many.

It always makes your heart gleam with a mixture of pride and joy when you get to witness those interactions.

You’re not quite sure if it is because Steve is naturally good with kids, or kids are naturally good with Steve, but each encounter is filled with a warmth and a gentleness, that makes your heart both melt and pop.

And so, you tend to stand there with your heart in a puddle, while Steve talks and engages with the children in such a carefree yet gentle way.

But there are also some encounters, that don’t spark as much joy.

Or none at all, if you’re being honest.

Those are usually the ones whose timing couldn’t be worse. Like getting approached while the two of you are having small romantic dates out in the park or in cozy coffee shops. Even your cute little trips to museums and art galleries once in a while aren’t spared from the casual interference of others.

There’s almost always someone, somewhere, shouting in both a mixture of disbelief and joy:“Is this Captain America?”

And then the heads start to turn, and the murmur starts, and your previous little date idea gets turned into a live meet-and-greet Captain America event.

And it sucks.

It’s not like you want to keep Steve all to yourself; it’s just that you don’t want to share him every single time you two go out in public together. Especially when it’s supposed to be a fun and romantic activity just between the two of you.

And so, because of that, Steve often tries to keep his recognizability somewhat more subtle and limited by wearing his baseball cap and some sunglasses, but there’s only so much that that supposed ‘transformation’ can do.

Tony once kindly offered that the department responsible for the Avengers suits and apparel could probably help, and come up with a more cohesive incognito look, but that didn’t work out too well either. Not for a lack of trying on their part, though.

You two had taken them up on that offer once, and they managed to turn Steve into someone so completely unrecognizable, that you almost walked past him when you’d come to pick him up.

Apart from his clothing, plaid trousers and a simple button-down shirt that emitted more the vibe of a hip history professor, the thing that threw you off the most was the 16 inches-long wig he was wearing. It made him look like Thor’s long-lost twin brother, and you could hardly take his appearance seriously.

When you finally managed to stop laughing, you pulled him into the living quarters of the compound, where the laughing continued, once everybody realized who they were looking at.

The Date to the planetarium that followed went great; not a single person recognized and approached the two of you. The only downside was that the date with Steve didn’t really feel like a date with Steve.

Apart from the reason that Steve’s long-haired wig made you feel like you were out and about with a beefier version of Jesus, rather than your treasured Super Soldier, the wig was also highly unpractical in a more tangible sense. Every time you turned to him and leaned in for a kiss, your hands and jewelry would easily get tangled up in his long strands of synthetic hair.

Neither of you were used to the hairy mess the Avenger’s apparel department provided you with – and it showed.

It did make for a fun date tough.

Steve was highly amused about the amount of double takes you had to do when you were looking for him.

You, on the other hand, had the time off your life once the two of you exited the planetarium, only to be greeted with a pleasant afternoon breeze, that took Steve – and his hair – by surprise. It looked like an unsuspected hair commercial in the making, and you almost tripped down the stairs laughing while trying to take a photo of Steve’s glorious mane in the wind.

All in all, it was a good time, but at the end of it, you both decided that it was neither worth the trouble nor a sustainable solution to your problem. And so, Steve traded his wig for his beloved baseball cap again, even if it heightened the possibility of him being recognized.

You knew that Steve was trying his best to give you some sense of normality in your experience of dating a super-famous Super Soldier, and you appreciated his efforts, even when they didn’t always work out.

Once you and Steve step outside of the Avenger’s Tower, you’re hit with both: The sudden brightness of the sun, and the common busyness and noise of New York City’s bustling streets.

One single ray of sunshine manages to find its way between the tall skyscrapers in front of you, making you squint. Instinctively you raise one hand in an attempt to shield your eyes from its blazing gaze.

Steve, who is already wearing his sunglasses, quickly gets out your pair for you and you gratefully take them. His attentiveness is something you’ll never get tired of; even when he sometimes has the tendency to dote over you, it’s rather endearing.

You make your way down the street. Hand in hand, because the craze of the city can otherwise easily separate the two of you.

Even without the frantic mass of people, that hastily bustles about the avenues, in a city that big, you will always seek out the shelter of your beloved Super Soldier, who still knows this place in a way you probably never will.

So, in an attempt to not get lost, or trampled, or abducted, your hand reaches out for his, and his hand does the same.

🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋

Steve navigates himself and you through the city like he’s done it a million times before, and it never fails to amaze you how good his sense of direction is. It’s something you’re obviously lacking, and Steve can’t help but teasingly bring it up every now and then.

This time around though, he doesn’t. Instead, he keeps talking about the little, newly opened Italian restaurant that you two just passed by.

“It looked really cozy and busy – that’s always a good sign, right? Maybe we can check it out this weekend.” Steve offers, while gently swinging your joined hands back and forth.

You hum in agreement, more focused on not getting jostled by the oncoming businessmen and -women.

Gripping his hand tighter, you curl up more into Steve’s side, seeking out the protection and safety of his tall statue.

Once Steve realizes what’s going on, he immediately pulls you close to him, wrapping his arm protectively around your smaller frame and making sure you’re okay.

“I can always give you a piggyback ride.” he offers, and you shake your head, laughing.

As inviting as that proposal sounds, the fear of the potential attention it might garner makes you decline his offer. You’d rather be subjected to the ongoing pushing and shoving of some careless pedestrians, than the unwanted attention and possibility of recognition.

“We’re nearly there, Sweetheart.” Steve gently encourages you, while keeping you as close to him as possible, leading you down the busy streets of New York.

You must have picked a good time to visit the zoo, because the line in front of the ticket booth is almost non-existent.

It doesn’t take long for it to be your turn, and Steve immediately takes charge, getting the tickets. The woman at the counter also hands him some pamphlets with certain attractions, and a small map, which he gratefully takes.

You softly tug on his arm, trying to get his attention, before pointing at the small bags with dry food, that are arranged on a shelf behind the vendor.

“Can we buy some of that food for the animals in the petting zoo?” you ask, eyes bright.

Steve instantly agrees, and the small squeal of joy that escapes your lips is like music to his ears. “There you go, Sweetheart.” he says, as he hands you your ticket and the small paper cone, filled with little pellets of dry food.

“Thanks, Stevie!” The way you beam up at him has his heart doing flips.

God, you’re adorable.

“So, where do you want to go first?” he asks, while looking down at the open map in his hands.

“The petting zoo!” you chime while clapping your hands in delight. You have to suppress the urge to just grab Steve's hand and drag him to the enclosure, so instead you softly bounce on the spot.

Looking up from his map, Steve’s eyes soften once he sees how you’re barely able to contain your excitement. It radiates off of you in a way that’s contagious.

Well, contagious to him anyway.

“Alright.” he approves, and that’s all the agreement you need, before sprinting into action, grabbing Steve’s hand, and tugging him along.

You only come to a brief halt at the doors of the enclosure, while you read the small signs that introduce some of the animals inside of it.

The petting zoo contains mostly goats, bunnies, guinea pigs and some piglets, but there are also two donkeys and one of them is called …

“Steve!” you joyfully exclaim.

“The donkey is named after you!”

The man in question furrows his brow, and you point him to the part on the metal sign, where the donkeys get introduced.

“See, Steve and Sally. Aww, he even looks a little bit like you!” you coo, looking at the small picture they provide next to the profile.

“I don’t quite see it.” Steve says dryly, and you huff.

“He even has similar interests to yours. It says here that he likes sunshine, early morning runs, pets behind his ears and bananas!

Biting your lip to keep yourself from laughing, you innocently look up at Steve, who regards you with a fake scowl.

“You’re being awfully bratty today, Angel.” he chides, yet his words don’t have any bite to them.

“Me? Never!” your fake indignation is riddled with the giggles you’re desperately trying to hold in. That mission fails completely though, once you read the Interesting Fact they provide next to each introduced animal.

“Oh my god, Steve!” you croak out between laughter. “He even tried to eat an American flag once. God, I love him already!”

Before Steve has the chance to reply, you’re dragging him into the enclosure. “Come on, let’s meet my newfound hero!”

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The donkey is just as cute as in the picture, and even friendlier than you imagined. After you introduced yourself and Steve - you couldn’t help yourself from saying “Steve, meet Steve,” while pointing between the tall Super Soldier and the rather small pony-sized creature – you slowly started petting the animal.

The happy brays he lets out make you laugh softly, and your smile only widens once your eyes find Steve’s.

“Don’t you dare say he sounds like me too!” Steve exclaims, and that comment only fuels your giggles.

“I wouldn’t dream of it!” you say, while stroking the fur behind the donkey’s ears. “But you have to admit, he’s adorable!” you coo, before quickly adding: “Not as cute as you, of course, but it’s a close second.”

“Well, that’s certainly comforting to hear.” Steve retorts. “So, you’re not gonna leave me for one of those gray-haired fellas?”

“I already have my gray-haired fella at home, old man,” you counter, before whispering a small “almost.”

Steve still picks it up, and his reaction is instant. His strong hands reach out to you, playfully poking your sides.

“You take that back! You take that back right now!” he urges, laughing, as you try to squirm away from his grasp, the sweet sound of your giggles filling the air. Your antics only come to a halt once you’re breathlessly begging for mercy, and Steve pulls you in for a hug.

“You still have a lot of energy for a 103-year-old.” you whisper.

“Oh Sweetheart, you know, I can be relentless.” he counters, and you hum in agreement.

“You don’t actually look like a donkey.” you try to clarify. “It’s just that the donkey somehow looks like you.”

Before Steve can rekindle his attacks, you’re already apologizing again. “I’m joking! I’m joking!” you exclaim, as soon as you feel the tiniest brush of his fingertips poking your sides.

Hugging him closer once more, you whisper: “I’m sorry. I’m being mean. You’re still the prettiest man on the planet, and you always will be.”

Brushing your hands softly through his hair and gently cupping his cheek, you notice the small red tint that adorns them.

“Aww you’re blushing!” you quietly tease. “I guess I don’t call you pretty enough. I need to tell you that more, I think.” you observe.

His blush only deepens, and you coo again.

He really is the prettiest man alive. And the sweetest, and kindest, and bravest.

As you softly tell him all about your thoughts, his grip around you tightens, and he burrows his face in your neck.

“I love you so much.” you mumble against his shoulder, and even though you can’t see him right now, you know that he’s smiling.

“I love you too.” he whispers back, voice low, before gently kissing your forehead.

His lips lingers there for a moment before he speaks up again.

“I think we need to stop; there’s an older lady, who’s already giving us the stink-eye.”

“Oh, let her stare. If they look at you funny, you just look right back at them funny, that normally does the trick for me.”

“I’m not going to glare down a grandma!” Steve whispers exasperated.

“Well, you might not, but I certainly will, if she's making you uncomfortable.” you announce, and Steve just shakes his head, laughing.

🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋

After moving on from the donkeys, you spend some time with the goats. Even Steve has to admit that they are rather endearing.

“Maybe we should bring Bucky with us next time. You know how he still gushes about the goats he had in Wakanda. I’m sure he’d enjoy some time here.” you suggest, while feeding a small brown doeling.

She softly munches the food right out of the palm of your hand, and the feeling of her rough tongue on your skin makes you giggle.

“If we would bring Buck, that’s going to be your liability, because I’m pretty sure he would never leave the goat enclosure again.” Steve observes.

“Can’t really blame him. I might have my donkey at home, but those goats certainly have character.” you tease.

Instead of answering, Steve decides to just throw some pellets your way.

“Hey!” you whine playfully, before making a counter strike. When you don’t hit your target, Steve just grins at you cheekily.

It’s that boyish smile you love so much, and it fills your heart with a joy that’s carefree and content. It feels just like the soft sunrays that are currently caressing your skin: Warm, light, and golden.

Your thoughts are only interrupted once another pellet flies your way, barely missing your face.

“Hey!” you exclaim once more, laughing, yet Steve’s eyes turn instantly apologetic when he realizes he almost struck your pretty face. You quickly reassure him that it’s alright, before walking over to the rabbits and guinea pigs, patiently sitting down next to them.

Rather than just grabbing one, you wait for one of the timid rodents to approach you instead. A small – and presumably younger – bunny seems curious enough, as he hops your way, and you manage to coax him with some food and a very gentle voice. His fluffy fur is in an off-white color with gray specks and his floppy ears twitch every now and then.

“Hey little friend.” you whisper once his wiggly nose brushes your open palm. It takes some more coaxing before he starts eating out of it, and you beam at that development.

Steve watches the interaction with a soft, adoring gaze.

God, Wanda was right. He really is head over heels for you.

But then again, how could he not be.

There’s a gentleness and kindness in the way you approach the world, and the fact that you’ve chosen him out of all people to trust the most, fills his heart with an endless amount of pride and happiness, that’s hard to put into words.

You’ve come into his life like a whirlwind, turning everything upside down and taking over his heart by storm.

Without your knowing, you made all of his previous priorities flip, until you were the only and most important thing on his mind. You still are, of course, and Steve is sure that this is something that will never change.

You’re the one.

The one who’s voice and laughter he’ll never grow tired of hearing.

The one who he comes home to after a rough mission, taking up the biggest space in his bed and in his heart – and he wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

You’re the most precious thing on the planet, and he’d burn it all down if he had to, just to keep you safe.

“Steve!” you softly call out to him, and his focus shifts back on you.

The small bunny is now sitting contently in your lap, while you’re sporting the proudest look.

“His fur is so soft!” you quietly mouth to him, and he smiles before making his way to you, gently kneeling down by your side. “Here! Feel!” you chirp, as you carefully guide his hands towards the small bunny.

“Do you think we could get some of those?” you carefully ask.

“Of course.” Steve agrees without really thinking - he doesn’t need to. If you want it, you’ll get it; no questions asked. He’ll even fight Tony on it if he has to, or anyone else for that matter.

“Really?” you beam.

“I pinky promise, Sweetheart.” he whispers before kissing the top of your head and standing back up. You follow suit, after carefully moving the bunny from your lap.

“Let’s just visit the piglets, and then we can move on to the bigger animals!” you proclaim, while reaching for Steve’s hand again, gently tugging him towards the small, baby pink piggies.

🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋

Once you’ve finished cooing over the small piglets while simultaneously feeding and petting them, you and Steve make your way back towards the regular path of the zoo.

Steve had just gotten out his map again, trying to visualize the vicinity, when you spot the panda enclosure.

Nice!

“Steve, do we have to consider the map? Can’t we just walk around and go wherever our curiosity takes us?” you ask.

“You mean, wherever your curiosity takes you.” Steve teases and you let out a small huff while folding your arms over your chest, defensively.

“Not true.” you whine, before adding: “I can’t help it if I’m younger and pick up more things, you know.”

“Uh-huh” Steve hums. “And patience is a virtue that …”

“I’ve never met once in my life.” you finish the sentence for him.

“That is not the quote I was going for, but it certainly rings true too.” Steve agrees, before folding his map up again. “Alright, so where’s your curiosity leading you to, this time.” he concedes with a warm smile and your eyes light up at that.

“Easy, this way!” you say, before grabbing his hand, dragging him along once more.

“Steve, look!” you exclaim, while excitedly pointing at the wild cat enclosure. There’s a tiger that’s currently taking a bath, and it completely seizes your attention.

At the risk of sounding like a total lovesick fool, Steve has to admit that he’s way more encaptured by your endearing reactions to everything, than the actual attractions and animals themselves.

You two already visited the panda and bear enclosure, looked at some monkeys, zebras, hippos, and foxes, and now you’re leading him towards the area with the wildcats.

Lynx, lions, pumas, cheetahs, and some tigers are what’s initially advertised; still, he’s barely able to focus on that.

With your hands closely intertwined, and your soft voice that calls out to him, his attention has a hard time staying away from you.

You’re especially excited by the cheetahs, and you enthusiastically tell him all the facts you know about them.

How they’re incredibly fast and powerful, yet often also anxious and shy. You tell him how some of the cheetahs living in captivity often need emotional support dogs, to help them cope with their high levels of stress.

They’re the true scaredy cat-cats.

After your ramblings about the wildcats, you start gushing over their emotional support dogs. “They must be so proud!” you tell him. “Imagine being a dog, who ends up working with those cheetahs. How badass it that? Like a mouse who’s a therapist for a housecat, or a sparrow that takes care of an alligator…”

Steve smiles at your excitement, while listening attentively to everything you’re saying.

How did he ever get this lucky?

But as your speech slowly comes to an end, another sound appears. It’s faint, but Steve’s Super Soldier hearing still picks it up. He’s heard it enough times to be able to identify it – It’s the sound of your tummy rumbling.

“Sweetheart, are you hungry?” he questions, and you look up at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Dammit, I had hoped you didn’t catch that.” you mumble embarrassed, and Steve laughs.

“How about we look for a more quiet space, where we can eat some of our sandwiches and snacks.” he proposes, and you agree.

This time, Steve takes your hand, leading the way.

After some searching, the two of you managed to find a little bench, shaded by a rather sturdy oak. The tree doesn’t just shield you from the blazing sun, but also from the curious gaze of others.

It’s a romantic little space, as you look out onto a small park area, not too far off from the peacock enclosure. You’d stopped there briefly, fascinated by their colorful display of shimmering feathers, before moving on.

And now, you're sitting here, next to Steve, eating your little sandwich and sharing some small snacks. It's calm and peacefully quiet, apart from some faint bird-chirping and the remote sound of children’s laughter, carried over to you by a soft summer breeze.

“This was such a lovely idea, Steve.” you comment quietly once you’ve finished your sandwich.

The man in question smiles at that. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself, Angel.”

You hum in agreement, before popping some fresh berries into your mouth.

The satisfied sigh you let out is making Steve laugh. “Are those berries that good?” he questions playfully.

“No, but the view right now is to die for.” you say, while locking eyes with him.

“Hm, I guess you’re right. This little park area certainly has some flair.” Steve agrees, and if it wasn’t for the blueberries in your hand, you’d face-palm right now.

“I’m not taking about the park, Steve.” you clarify, while giving him a pointed look, and he blushes.

“Oh, I see … “ he mumbles, red-tinted embarrassment tainting his cheeks and migrating up to his ears. Who knew a Super Soldier could get that flustered – and look so endearing while doing it.

You weren’t lying though – even with Steve just sitting there, wearing a light gray t-shirt and some washed-out jeans, he looks like a god; Completely out of this world.

And it’s not just his sturdy arms and muscles.

It’s in the way his kind eyes light up, framed by those rich eyelashes.

It’s in the way he looks at you; looks at the world with such benevolence, such compassion, even after everything he’s been through.

Maybe it’s also in the way that those small rays of sunlight, currently shining through the tree crown, illuminate his skin, giving him a golden glow.

But whatever the reason may be, he certainly looks good. Especially, when he’s blushing like that, you think, smiling.

Once you two finished your small lunch, you’re eager to get back to the animals.

The giraffes and elephants are next, followed by the penguins and some wombats.

You and Steve have also established a small game by now.

One of you steps up to the informational sign of the enclosure first and reads it, before letting the other person guess what the Interesting Fact about the animal is.

It’s currently Steve’s turn at guessing, as you two are standing in front of the flamingo area.

“Okay!” you chime, as you turn away from the metal sign, focusing back on Steve. Your eyes are sparkling with excitement, letting Steve know that this fact is going to be good.

“So, flamingos are known for their pink color and dorky looks, but there is something else that makes this animal quite badass. What could that possibly be?” you challenge Steve gleefully.

He ponders your question for a moment, looking over at the pink birds. “Hm, maybe they can stand on one leg for over 24 hours.” he contemplates.

“Is that your final answer?” you question, and the playful glimmer in your eyes lets him already know that he’s wrong.

Still, he stays with his entry and nods.

“Well, that is incorrect!” you announce. “Or at least, that’s not the fact they have written down.” you clarify.

“Okay, I’ll give you three options instead, and only one of them is the correct one.” you offer.

“So, once more, what makes the flamingo so badass? Is it a) they all have pink belts in karate; b) they can drink boiling water; or is it c) they can hold their breath for half an hour when diving for food.” you question, expectantly looking at Steve, who’s scratching his head, laughing.

“Well, it’s either b or c, but they both sound so unbelievable, I might as well go with answer a.” He jokes.

“Sir, I need an answer from you now, the time is running up.” you playfully chide and it’s making him laugh even more.

“Alright, show host, you can log in answer b for me.”

“B? Are you sure?” Steve just nods, and it makes your smile grow wider.

“Well, contestant, you won’t believe me when I say this, but your answer is …. ding, ding, ding – correct!” you exclaim excited, while wrapping your arms around his neck

“Wait, really?” Steve looks at you, dumbfounded. “Uh-huh. Flamingos can apparently drink boiling water.” you reiterate, before pulling him closer.

“Congratulations, soldier, you’ve won the main price!” you whisper against his lips before softly kissing him, and the sweet action makes Steve smile into the kiss, as his heart melts in the blazing sun.

🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋

Moving from enclosure to enclosure, your little game continues. There are wolves, deer, beavers, and burrowing owls, and each stop at the gates is filled with your playful antics and shared laughter.

You only come to a short pause, once you notice a small ice cream parlor in the distance, and it doesn’t take much convincing to get Steve to go there with you.

Actually, it doesn’t take any convincing at all.

The shop is small and features only a select number of ice cream flavors. You order 3 scoops each, before happily making your way over to the American bison enclosure.

The area is less crowded and actually quite peaceful. The scenery of the meadow with the occasional grazing bull emitting a sense of tranquility.

While sharing your ice cream, you two watch these seemingly serene creatures, who are just standing there, munching on grass, and lazily gazing at the landscape around them.

There’s a timelessness to them, you think. The way they just stand there, unbothered, like they’ve seen it all.

And maybe they have.

Steve gently pulls you out of your thoughts, when he offers you his last bit of cherry ice cream, holding out his cone to you. You gratefully take him up on his offer, while simultaneously holding your cone out for him.

Sharing is caring after all.

Once your ice cream is done, you and Steve continue sitting there, just talking until Steve suddenly leans closer.

He gently brushes some lingering ice-cream stains from the corner of your mouth with his thumb before licking it off. He keeps his eyes locked on you, and the action leaves your cheeks feeling heated, and your heartrate in a frenzy.

“Two can play this game, Angel.” Steve whispers, giving you a knowing smile.

You let out a small whine, before burrowing your face in his chest, trying to hide your embarrassment.

Steve just coos at your flustered state.

“Steve, stop. You’re giving me heart palpitations,” you mumble into his chest.

“No can do, Sweetheart. It’s only fair that you get a taste of your own medicine.”

You bite back your reply to that; otherwise, you two might end up doing something entirely different.

Unaware of the questionable thoughts in your head; Steve changes the topic, reminding you of the activities you still have planned.

“Do you want to go to the meerkat and prairie dog enclosure, now? Their feeding should start soon.”

You’re still curled up into his chest, basking in the feeling of his strong embrace, and the gentle smell of his cologne. “Can we just stay here a little longer.” you request, voice mumbled, and soft.

Steve lets out a small laugh, that makes his chest rumble and vibrate. “Of course, if that’s what you prefer. You just sounded so excited earlier when you heard about the public feeding.” Steve tries to clarify, making sure that’s what you really want.

Steve’s right. When he told you about the attraction earlier, you could barely contain your excitement at the idea of watching the small animals nibble on some food. But in that very moment, you didn’t really think things through.

It was only sometime later, when your excitement had cooled down a bit, that you realized that this endeavor might not be the best idea.

There’s obviously going to be a crowd watching the spectacle, and those are something to avoid when you’re with your beloved Super Soldier. The chances of getting recognized there, are just a bit too high, yet you’re hesitant to tell those thoughts to Steve.

You don’t want him to feel bad, and you know that he’ll try to convince you that it’s no big deal. You already feel selfish for feeling so protective of your relationship, and the fear that he might think you’re overreacting lingers in your mind, even though he has never given you a reason to do so.

“Sweetheart, what’s going on? You’re being awfully quiet right now.” Steve pries. He can tell something is wrong; he just knows you too damn well.

“Nothing!” you chirp, but the sound is off. It’s too high and anxious.

“Angel.” his tone is stern.

Steve doesn’t often use his Captain America voice with you, but when he does, it works every time.

Just like now.

Playing with the fabric of his gray t-shirt and looking anywhere but his eyes, you quietly mumble: “There’s going to be lots of people, Steve. Lots of people to recognize you…”

“Oh, Sweetheart,” he knows what you’re getting at, and it makes his heart twist in guilt.

“You know, we can still …”

“No, Steve,” you interrupt him. “We can’t, and I don’t want to. This day has been nothing, but a dream come true. We haven’t been approached once, and I’d like to keep it that way. If I have to sacrifice a meerkat feeding for that, I’ll happily do it.” You state, and Steve sighs.

“I’m sorry, Angel.” he whispers, voice low and tainted with regret. “Maybe you could go there by yourself, while I stay somewhere in the background?” he offers, but you just shake your head.

“Steve, it’s okay. I’d rather see all the other animals with you, then one meerkat feeding without you.”

He smiles at that, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I’m still sorry about this.” he mutters, guilt clear in his voice. You sigh. That’s exactly what you were trying to avoid.

“Steve,” you whisper, gently cupping his cheek, making him look at you. “This isn’t your fault. Stop feeling sorry about something that you have no control over, whatsoever. If anything, I’m sorry for being so sensitive about this.” you state.

“No, you have every right to be!” Steve defends, and the conviction in his eyes makes some of your worry ease away.

“Well, if I’m not allowed to feel guilty about that, neither are you.” you assert matter-of-factly, and this time the smile that adorns Steve’s face reaches his bright blue eyes.

“Alright, deal.” he affirms, before taking your hand, sweeping you up from your seat. “Let’s continue. There’s still a lot to explore.”

You’re about to walk into the reptile house when you spot one more open enclosure.

“Oh my God Steve, look!” you call out, while pointing at one of the llamas. “Aww, he looks just like Kuzco!” you observe, and it makes Steve frown in confusion.

“Sweetheart, that’s a rude thing to say about someone.” he softly chides, and you give him a puzzled look.

“What? Are you telling me you don’t know who Kuzco is?” you ask, dumbfounded, and Steve just shakes his head.

“Is he a work friend of yours? I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned someone with that name?" he questions, brows still furrowed in confusion.

“Steve!” you laugh, “have you not seen The Emperor’s New Groove?”

“No, I don’t think I have.” he confesses, and you look at him in disbelief.

“Oh my God! I thought Tony introduced you to the best works of this century’s cinema.”

“Yes, but I don’t remember a movie named like that.”

“This is outrageous. I can’t believe you’ve never seen this masterpiece! We’ll have to change that once we’re home!” you proclaim playfully, before taking his hand and walking towards the reptile house.

🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋

Stepping into the building, you’re immediately greeted by a sudden temperature drop.

The rooms are a lot darker and cooler then the outside premise, and you can’t help but shiver as goosebumps form on your skin.

Instinctively, you pull Steve closer, grabbing his hand tighter.

The animals that follow vary from adorable to absolutely frightening. The small turtles and geckos make you coo, but the bigger lizards and snakes already sport a more intimidating look.

There are boas, pythons, and mambas, and you have to remind yourself that you’re protected by both the Plexiglas as well as your trusted Super Soldier.

🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋

Once you’ve finished exploring every room, you make your way to the small botanical garden. Its atmosphere stands in stark contrast to that of the dark reptile house.

There are colorful flowers and bright green plants and palm trees.

There’s light coming through the ceiling, illuminating the stone path before you, and the temperature is warmer and a little bit more humid.

After walking through the vicinity, hand in hand, the two of you spot a small, secluded bench. It’s placed next to a little pond, and a small bush of plumerias.

Sitting down, you sigh in content as you breathe in the sweet smell of the little white and yellow flowers. Steve gets out some left-over fruits, and you share a second, small meal. You can hear the soft splatter of water in the background, and it’s as relaxing as can be.

Looking at the man in front of you adoringly, your expression falters when you see the small furrow etched between his brows. He’s thinking about something, and it’s not a pleasant thought.

“What’s wrong?” you whisper, having learned the small signs of worry that sometimes cloud the face of your beautiful man.

Steve just sighs, before pulling you closer. So close, you might as well just sit in his lap.

“Was just thinking.” he mumbles, voice low, and still preoccupied with whatever’s going through his mind right now. “About?” you inquire, and the silence that follows makes you sigh in return.

“Steve, we talked about this. Don’t shut me out.” you whisper, knowing that your beloved soldier still has a tendency to keep his worries hidden from your view, trying not to burden you with it.

“I was thinking about the meerkat-thing.” he says, and you groan.

“No, hear me out, Sweetheart,” he continues. “You deserve the world, you truly do, and it pains me to know that everywhere we go, you have to sacrifice something, just because you’re with me. The meerkat-thing is just one of the many examples that reiterate that.”

“Okay,” you assess slowly, “what are you trying to say?” you carefully ask.

“I don’t know.” he whispers.

“I just keep thinking that you have to sacrifice so much, just in order to be with me. I wish I could give you more than that. I wish I could take you out on dates without us having to worry about being recognized, approached and disturbed.”

He looks at you with such turmoil and pain in his eyes, it makes your heart clench and curl up into a ball and cry.

“Oh, Stevie.” you murmur, before gently cupping his face and straddling his lap.

“Steve honey, listen. This whole getting-approached-by-strangers-thing sucks; I’m not gonna lie about that, but do you know what would suck a million times more? Not having you in my life! I could live without going out on anymore dates for the rest of my days, but do you know what I cannot live without? You!” you declare passionately, while looking into Steve’s eyes, which are somewhat glossy.

“Sweetheart.” he mumbles, voice thick with emotions, and you just pull him closer, nuzzling your face into the side of his neck.

“I love you, Steve. I love you even when we’re surrounded by what feels like hundreds of people, who all want a piece of you, and take over our dates.”

You feel a light wetness at the nape of your neck, and you gently brush your hand through Steve’s hair. Blinking away your own tears, you make a soft shushing sound, trying to calm him down.

“I love you. Don’t ever doubt me on that!” you whisper softly, and you feel Steve nod against your skin before whispering a small, timid “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I love you, and as long as you love me back, that’s all I need. That’s enough for me.” you try to clarify, before gently adding: “I know you feel a close kinship and obligation towards people, and you’re too polite to call them out when they approach us at the worst possible timing, but you’re allowed to tell some people off. The shield might be public property, Steve, but you aren’t. You’re allowed to have boundaries too.”

Your kind words fill Steve with a warm, fuzzy feeling, and it spreads on his face in the form of a soft smile. The love he feels for you keeps blooming and expanding, like the fragrant flowers growing all around you.

He’s not sure if he’ll ever be able to put it into words just how much you mean to him exactly, but he knows that he’ll try his damn best to show you every single day.

He hopes that that’s enough, hopes that it’s good enough for you. Losing you would be worse than dying, he’s sure of that. But all he manages to mumble out is a soft: “I love you so much.”

His words and voice are filled with such honesty, such devotion and conviction, you fear your heart might pound straight out of your chest, and into his lap.

“I know,” you whisper. “I love you just as much!”

He hums in content, and the silence that follows is the most comfortable silence you’ve ever experienced.

The two of you stay there, curled up in each other’s embrace, basking in one of the best feelings ever. Loving and feeling loved.

🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋 🍋

You’re not sure how much time has passed, when Steve speaks up again, but the sun is slowly starting to set, and it fills the garden with a golden glow.

“You’re ready to go home, Sweetheart?” he questions softly, voice full of affection.

No. You just want to stay in his loving embrace forever, but instead of articulating that, you let out a small whine, while shaking your head demonstratively.

The laugh that rumbles out of Steve’s chest is warm and hearty, and he softly smiles down at you.

“Come on.” he coaxes.

There’s something he’s sure he can beckon you with.

“I think they have a small souvenir shop near the exit with lots of stuffed animals.” he offers, and it makes you look up at him, wide-eyed and excited.

Gotcha. Steve thinks, a satisfied smile on his lips. The promise of stuffed animals works every time.

You slowly untangle yourself from him, before standing up and taking his hand.

“What are you waiting for, old man.” You playfully provoke him while he’s adjusting his backpack.

“Careful Sweetheart, or I might accidentally lose you in the middle of New York.” he says, yet you know it’s an empty threat. He would never even dream of doing something like that, not in a million years.

“Don’t underestimate the grasp I have on you.” you joke, referring to the way you’d normally cling to his arm and hand, but Steve thinks about how true those words are in a broader sense.

How you have the strongest possible grasp on his heart, in the gentlest way.

Unaware of his adoring thoughts, you drag him to the exit of the botanical garden, and he watches you with the warmest smile.

Once you step out of the garden your eyes instantly find, and fixate on the small souvenir shop, walking straight towards it.

The place is spacious and there are a couple of kids running around, shoving stuffed animals in their parents faces. The selection of stuffies is broad, but you already know what you want.

Steve thinks you’ll be going over to the cheetahs, yet he finds himself surprised, when he watches you walk towards… the donkeys?

He observes you carefully picking up a medium-sized stuffie and clutching it tightly to your chest, a satisfied smile on your lips.

“Stevie! Look!” you exclaim, as you turn your attention to him, holding the stuffie up proudly.

Little did you know, he was already looking at you the whole time.

Eyes soft and smile warm.

“Sweetheart, are you sure? Don’t you want something more… exciting?” he questions, as he points to the array of wild cats and panda bears.

“Nope!” you chirp, the look of content on your face clear as day.

He always wants to see you like this - happy, content, satisfied.

“Wait, Stevie! You should get one too!” you exclaim when you see him slowly make his way toward the checkout.

“The donkey will remind me of you when you’re gone on missions, but you need a stuffie that reminds you of me, too!”

“Sweetheart, you’re in the back of my mind 24/7. I don’t need a …”

“Not the point.” you interrupt him.

“You occupy my mind almost all the time as well, but it’s nice to have something tangible to remind you and to keep close sometimes.”

“Alright.” Steve concedes, before looking at the countless shelves of stuffed animals.

Which one should he even pick?

He thinks back to your interactions earlier, thinks about how soft you looked, with that small bunny comfortably sitting in your lap.

He thinks about how excited you were, when you told him everything you knew about cheetahs, eyes sparkling bright.

He thinks about how softly you’d kissed him at the flamingo enclosure, and how serene you looked while you were watching the American bisons - a dreamy look on your face, and ice cream in hand.

God, is picking your own stuffie always that hard?

His eyes continue to wander along the shelves when he spots it.

There’s a medium-sized cheetah stuffie wearing sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt with little plumerias printed on it.

That’s you.

Cool, adorable, and with a questionable fashion sense.

Thinking back at how you were holding him close in the botanical garden, the sight of the small flowers instantly fills him with the memories of your comforting words and touch.

That’s the one.

Steve makes his way over to the stuffed animal, and it’s even softer than he’d imagined.

“Oh! It’s adorable!” you coo when you see his choice, and Steve smiles.

That’s the one.

He thinks, as he watches you.

The one, who has complete reign over his heart.

You made yourself quite at home in there, filled it with your sweet laughter and your little smiles, the softness of your touch and the kindness in your eyes.

He keeps all these memories of you safely tugged away, underneath his rib cage, in that little treasure chest he calls his heart.

You’re both, his most prized possession, and the strong protector that watches over it all.

The guardian angel of his heart.

“Steve!” you call out to him, from the checkout.

“They say they have a 10 % senior discount for people over 60! Come over here, and figure this out, please!”

It makes him laugh, and there’s only one thought in his mind:

God, how he adores you.

---------------------------------------------

Ahhh, that's it! Thanks you so much for reading!

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers

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wizkiddx · 4 years ago

Text

stop caring

yooo, so this is actually taken out of one of the sort of I guess series-esque things I’ve written, but it kinda just got shit at the end so I've given up and just wanted to post this instead. So sorry if some of the backstory isn't that clear or anything

tomhollandxfamous!reader

Summary: after your break up you bump into tom at a charity event and when shit hits the fan personally for you, someone who understands you is really what you need (angsty!!! maybe a bit of fluff too?)

TW: panic/anxiety attacks + mentions of assault

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3 months. 3 months you’d managed to avoid the boy that had given you the most joy in the previous years. 3 months without your best friend; of even when you’re with company feeling like a part of you was just absent.

And you had been thriving. Well… that’s what everyone thought. That’s what you tried to portray, because no matter how ‘famous’ or ‘successful’ people perceived you to be - ultimately you were like anyone else. Making your insta pop off after the breakup. And so to the outside world, through the very very small lense of social media life was great. Parties, friends, work.

You were a woman in demand - in all senses of the word.

But of course, as is the 21st century world, it was a lie. Instagram showed only snapshots of what can be very long 24 hours in a day. Naturally, a select few obviously knew - your best friend, Y/f/n being one of them. Yet still you were missing that one support, that one person who would drag you back to reality whenever you got too much into your own head. It actually rather annoyed you, how dependent you had got on him, in every part of your life.

And you really hadn’t expected to see him here today. You’d had your assistant check the guest list, he wasn’t on it. While getting ready, you had avoided all the products that reminded you of him; that soft nude lipstick he loved you in so much; your favourite (exfavourite) earrings. Had you known it, you would have worn these. Just because you knew it would get on his nerves a little bit. Nevertheless here you were, perhaps a little underdressed for the charity dinner in a dress you’d already worn before (because apparently that was a sin in the world of Hollywood). You couldn’t pin point from when, but it was simple yet elegant if you did say so yourself. A dark blue satin dress, that sat off your shoulders in a Bardot style; hugged your waist to accentuate your curves; then flowed outwards down to the floor with a slit up your right leg. It was simple compared to the sequin studded, diamanté jewelled dresses the rest of the women seemed to sport but it made you feel comfortable.

Besides, that’s what you needed today. This was the first time after the breakup you’d attended a public event without your best friend-turned-assistant-turned-absolute-life-saver. Y/f/n had been the greatest with you all through your life but especially recently, she deserved the break to go back home and see her family. It was a pretty decent excuse too, her cousins wedding, so you were in absolutely no place to complain.

Evidently it just HAD to be this event then, while you were flying solo, that you’d be faced with…well with his face. His fucking gorgeous, perfect and oh so sweet face.

Just seeing him, just seeing Tom fucking Holland, had the most intense burst of adrenaline course through your veins as you desperately scanned the rest of the room. Looking for an out, an excuse, someone to latch onto for the rest of the night. A distraction even.

Never one to admit it openly, but really you knew your coping mechanism of the past months had been to sleep with who you wanted. Because the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else right? You knew it was stupid too. Not because of slut shaming or anything ( we aint got no outdated views here), but simply it wasn’t you. It wasn’t a good idea for you. It didn’t fit.

Tom hadn’t seen you yet, so if you latched onto someone you’d likely be in the clear. So obviously, when your frantic glances landed upon Joe Keery, you literally sighed in relief. Joe was great, stranger things was a bit of a guilty pleasure for you - especially when you were in your trailer and bored. Just due to your line of work, you’d met a couple times, he seemed like decent crack and to you knowledge was single.

Unsurprisingly then, you almost marched over to Joe, ignoring the slightly shaky feeling in your leg as your hearing seemed to focus completely on the sound of Tom’s bright laugh.

It was your choice too. You’d chosen to end things. It was on you. Well really, both parties were equally guilty. Tom was the one who had been too tired and highly strung and exhausted to put effort into the relationship. Stupidly though, you were too in love to realise for so long, in doing so draining yourself in the process. The constant flying cross country to see him, when he couldn’t ever return the favour because he was too busy. It was chipping away at you, even if you didn’t notice. It took an intervention by your manager Davey and Y/f/n for you to see things for what they were. To see that Tom didn’t care as much as he used to.

He tried to fight for it, of course Tom did, because he also truly and deeply loved you. Nonetheless though, it was too late. And that was it. You closed that book and returned it to the library. Something your mind occasionally drifts back to and you think ‘huh that was a good read’ - yet that is the only space it occupies in your mind.

OR that’s how it should be. Not you yesterday, comparing everything your date did to Tom and deciding everything was worse. Not you today, seeing him and nearly being floored by the way the suit was tailored to his body oh so exquisitely. Not you now, hearing his bubbly laughter and having to fight your muscles from taking you back into his arms.

In short, you were highly strung and pining over a boy you’d killed your chance of happiness with.

Not to blow your own horn, you knew Joe wouldn’t be against having your company for the evening. After all, you were a young, beautiful and upcoming actor. You were ,at the very least, self aware. And so for a good few hours you almost forgot about Toms presence, spending the time before the speeches sharing a ridiculously overpriced bottle of wine (or two) with him. He was funny. He made you laugh, even if he was pushing the limits occasionally and teetering just on the right side of socially acceptable. It was risky and in that moment, with the alcohol in your system, it made him seem more and more of an attractive shag.

By the time the speeches started you were both overly giggly and had to keep shushing each other as the presenter called for quiet. Inherently, you knew exactly the location of Thomas - who he was sat around; the main he’d had at dinner; the brand of beer he’d been ordering.But that was subconscious. You were here with Joe.

Under your voices, whilst getting some disapproving looks from the older, more mature, members of your table you and Joe sat through the first boring speech whispering jokes under your breath - making each other clamp their mouth shut to avoid bursting out laughing. Though tipsy, you were very aware of Joe inching closer and closer, while his hand was casually brushing yours or your shoulder or waist more often. You knew this was low, being so blatant in front of Tom. To be quite frank though, should you care? And did he care?

The answer in your head at least, was an almost certain no to both.

One speech merged into another spent giggling away until Joe did something he didn’t mean. Heck he didn’t even know. His jesting quickly had toppled completely over into absolutely not category. Your brain felt like it was swimming as the name you’d avoided after that incident , almost ten years ago. The flashbacks came thick and fast. You an innocent young actor wanting to make a way in the industry. And him. A powerful, ridiculously important slightly overweight 50 year old with bad breath. That room in the corner of his hotel that you were completely lost in.

You were going to be sick.

Somewhere, distantly, you heard Joe saying something… asking you? Asking you if your were good? It was drowned out by a roar in your ears, you jerkily nodded your head. You knew your breathing was jilted, shaky and shallow. You knew your heart was exploding. It actually felt like a heart attack, the way it seemed to be beating as though it were going to break out of your chest. This time you really really needed an out.

So without any words, leaving a bemused Joe, your chair screeched on the floor as you stood up, garnering the attention of the whole room. The heads literally swivelled to stare at you, judgement clearly there as you frantically half ran to the back of the room, pleading if your head fro the toilet to be nearby. You needed to be away from everyone and safe.

Thankfully your escaped the room and the beady eyes, locating the bathroom where you threw a cubicle open, shakily locking it before collapsing into the wall in floods of tears, harsh sobs racking your frame as you clutched your hands to your knees and rocked slightly back and fourth. You dress being a full length ballgown was spilling out into the the nearby cubicles and under the door, but presumably you were alone in the loo - not hearing any other signs of life beyond your own sobs.

This always happened when you had your anxiety attacks. It was like clockwork. Zone out, stop hearing, loose control of breathing, heart starts pounding, make a quick escape to a toilet, cry and then…

Well back before Tom, it had been to throw up. That was the only thing you’d ever found to ground you enough to get your body backorder your own conscious control. It was like a wave of relief after, like the drowning feeling in your lungs had just evaporated away. But the Tom happened. The first time he’d seen you panic he hadn’t a clue what to do either. SO he had just sat with you, not wanting you to be alone in that state and waited. That panic though, had lasted so long that you’d almost made yourself pass out from the hyperventilating. When that had happened, Tom had gone into emergency mode. He had been scared to touch you, in case that made you worse, but when he saw your body going limp he didn’t have a choice. He’d collected you into his arms, with your head against his chest. Being this close to calling an ambulance, the relief Tom felt when your breathing got more and more regular was unparalleled.

Together, when he had you lying in his bed (recovered, if mortified and exhausted) was when you realised that you hadn’t been sick. And that was because of him. You’d grounded yourself on his heartbeat and breathing, listening to it and making yours sync up. Thats what had saved you that evening.

Now however, Tom was gone. This was the first panic attack you’d had since he’d been gone. Of course while you were together you were rarely in the same place, even so you’d phone him. But not now.

This all led to you sat clutching your knees as your mascara dripped down your cheeks as you had to fight to get enough oxygen into your body. You didn’t want to get into that vicious cycle of making yourself ill again. It really hadn’t been healthy.

Who knows how long you were sat there sobbing before you heard the door open and in response you clamped a hand to your mouth trying to stay silent. This irrational fear overcame you as you sat stock still, fearing the footsteps on the marble floor of the fancy function venue. Even the toilets were pretty posh.

“Y/n?…. It’s-it’s Tom.” Oh. My. Fucking. God. That was all that was going through your brain as you bit you lip - presumably painfully, yet you didn’t really feel pain in your current state. “Look I saw you leave and I know your on your own tonight… I-I couldn’t leave you on your own if your… well you know.” Everything was going so so fast in your brain, that it actually scared you into stopping crying, so much so you felt your hand flop back down to your side. “…I was waiting outside because I didn’t want to errr you know… but you’ve been 20 minutes so I need to know your good…..okay?”

The boy was too fucking good. And stubborn… he was too stubborn and you knew he wasn’t going to give in. It was also fairly evident that he knew you in here - there was no pretending you didn’t exist.

“Y/n? Come on you gotta let me know.”

“I’m fine. You-you go.” Only when you spoke was it evident to yourself just how not-okay you really were. Tom just chuckled and spoke again.

“How long have you known me for? That’s just not going to happen is it.” You already knew this, but something about the way he said it made you realise a sad laugh, momentarily making you feel a bit more in control. He seemed to like that response, you heard him bend down and then saw the bottom of his tux as he sat down leaning against your cubicle door.

“Is …is this your first one… since? You both know what he was talking about. Since you broke up.

“Uhmm I-“ You swallowed down a fresh rise of nausea, somewhat determined to not throw up when you ex is barely a metre from you. “Yeh I suppose.” In didn’t seem a revelation to Tom, yet he still hummed lowly in response as the room drifted back to silence.

“You… you wanna try to breath with me?… You don’t have to open the door just…”

Croaking a please in response because this feeling was really blood awful and you wanted it to end, Tom started exaggerating his breathes, as you shakily and eventually managed to start to time it with his. Without thinking, when Tom’s palm snuck half under the door you immediately grabbed and squeezed it - the contact helping to synchronise your body with his.

It should be an alien feeling after your time apart. But no it felt oh so natural and so very right.

Once you’d collected yourself and realised how bloody stupid this whole situation was you withdrew your hand back, loosing the warmth as you shook your head in disapproval of yourself. So very fucking stupid. He was silent for a bit, letting you think things through whilst still sat outside your cubicle.

“You good now?” You hummed in agreement and you felt Tom’s head fall against the door, looking up to the ceiling. “Want me to go?”

“If you want to” That was met with silence, but a very telling lack of movement that spoke a thousand words.

“You should get out of here… you wanna avoid the trigger again and I mean I know you’re exhausted.” The boy had researched panic disorder and attacks when he found out you suffered with it - he probably knew more of the psychology of it than you, whilst never having any first hand experience of it. Annoyingly he was right, as per, after attacks you always always slept for hours - it was just a draining process. “I’ll get you a car if you want?…. I’d like to make sure you get back okay if you don’t mind.” With only your cold and empty residual feeling left, his words still managed to ignite a spark of warmth in your chest.

“I’m not going to ruin your evening Tom.” You tried to refuse even if it was very very forced and very very hopeful he wouldn’t give in.

“I was having a crappy evening. Sitting in the ladies toilet talking to my ex through a toilet door has actually been the highlight.”He chuckled playfully in a self pitying way, somehow again making you giggle. And so he had you standing on slightly unsteady feet, your black heels held in one hand because no wasn’t the time to put yourself through teetering around on pin needles. The shuffling outside the door meant Tom stood up too - before you unlocked the door and opened it.

Prior to seeing Tom your eyes locked on the sight of your reflection, in the mirrors above the sinks opposite you. Perhaps the only way to describe it… it was a sight. The shock being in the juxtaposition between the elegant dress, which even having been crumpled on a bathroom floor had somehow managed to survive and still look near the off-the-hanger; but your face? Oh that was a shit show. You’d cried your makeup off almost completely, leaving your face blotchy and shining as well as the ever so telling smudged mascara under your bottom lash line.

You had to laugh or you’d just start to cry.

“Don’t worry I’ve seen you much worse.” You saw in the reflection as Tom leaned in and whispered in your ear, making your eyes roll and head shake as you looked from him back to you.

“I look like a paps dream.” Without instruction, Tom bolted into a nearby cubicle, wrapping layers of toilet roll round his hand before offering it to you as a makeshift wipe.

“This is the glamour of Hollywood don’t you know? Wiping your face with bog roll”Thankfully taking it, you offered Tom a thankful smile as he stepped back, giving you space as he leant against another cubicle pillar. Once you finished up blotting your face, Tom had already shrugged off his jacket walking toward you as he offered it out. Tilting your head to the side in a questioning manner Tom just shrugged, saying it’d help avoid the paparazzi just in case. In reality you weren’t so sure, but anyhow you still appreciated the gesture and draped it round your shoulders with a muttering of thanks.

At this point his phone pinged, the car was outside, so without any words exchanged he led you to the door, checked the hallway was clearly before guided you back to the exit. There didn’t appear to be anybody lurking around, which you were oh so thankful for as you almost threw yourself in to the safety of the blacked out car. Tom followed and you both, almost comically as if scripted, released a sigh in unison as you melted into the seats. That had you chuckling dryly as you sat in silence.

“You know we can’t move till you say where you’re staying?” Teasing you, Tom shot you that ever mischievous grin that made the blood rush through your skin. After you’d told the driver, the car pulled swiftly out the laibi.

“Did he…did he say something?” Tom’s demeanour had steeled up and you looked questioningly up at him. “Joe… you looked…close.”

“Oh”. You were taken aback. You should have seen this coming to be fair, him asking for the trigger this evening - and yet you were more shocked at his jealousy. How he looked pained to mention Joe by name. “Um no… well sort of…it was a joke. He didn’t mean it but it er…it took me back.” Tom knew your history, he knew what happened all those years ago and he nodded slowly , keeping his eyeline straight ahead.

“He’s a dick.”

“No he’s not…. He- he was sweet enough . It was all me.”

“What?”

“I pushed myself on him. I-I saw you… I was spooked.” Tom left it to drift back to silence. He had a lot of thinking to do too.

He’d obviously kept up to date with you. Call it a professional interest. That was the problem being in love with someone when you weren’t allowed to be. But it hurt like hell, especially when he heard what you were doing. Because he knew this wasn’t you. He knew you sleeping around wasn’t going to help you recover - in fact he thought (and quite correctly) it was the opposite. That long term it’d only cause you more and more pain.

“You know, you don’t have to do this?… I-I know it isn’t you. I’m not insulting or anything I’m… I’m just worried.” You knew he was being truthful . And infuriatingly he was right. Which only made it even more annoying.

“Why do you care though?” Looking out the window that was all you could think to say. That was your subconscious talking as you didn’t really want the answer. Or you desperately did but you knew it’d be hard to get over.

“Y/n” He sighed, making you look across at him “I’ve not stopped caring… I’ll never stop caring.”

Wasn’t that just a knife to the heart. You held your breath momentarily, not knowing what to think (nervermind say) in response to that. Everything in that car seemed to freeze, Tom’s eyes piercing the deepest and darkest parts of your mind as he stared at you. You both really weren’t over it. You were both hurting. You missed each other.

And you were about to dive in all over again.

But then the indicator ticked on. The car pulled to a stop. The ignition switched off by the driver. You were at your hotel. The journeys end - quite literally.

Tom felt it too. He knew if ever there was a chance, however rogue and unlikely, of you two working things out it was within this journey. And he’d failed.

“I-uh…I-this is me” Stammering through, distracted by the way Tom’s eyes shone with disappointment.

‘Yeh - yeh it is I guess.”

“Well er… thanks for, well you know… for saving me. You er-you really didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to”

“Yeh well er thanks…. And er-Oh! Your jacket” You realised, already tugging the tailored suit jacket from your shoulders.

“No no it’s really okay. I have loads anyway.” See?In Hollywood you really weren’t allowed to wear the same thing twice.

“Oh-okay. Well er….I’ll see you around I guess?”

“Can I walk you to your room, just to-check no one bothers you?” Tom was trying. Desperately trying. He could feel you slipping through his fingers again, this time he wanted to put up more of a fight. You shook your head thought, a sad smile gracing your lips.

“I’d say yes but I think I know where that’d end up…. And I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Defeatedly nodding, Tom just smiled in a tight-lipped fashion, equally as sadly at you.

“I’ll errr I’ll see you around.” While gathering yourself and preparing to exit the car, your hand on the door handle. Tom responded with a ‘yeh’ but before you left you leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek, before whispering under your breath..

“Thankyou Tom.”

part 2 ish of sorts --> link

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #Tom Holland angst #tom holland fluff #tom holland x famous!reader

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