#conditional access
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Configure Entra Conditional Access for Always On VPN
Recently, I wrote about Microsoft Always On VPN and Entra Conditional Access and how conditional access improves your organization’s security posture by making policy-based access decisions based on various signals such as user identity, location, device compliance, platform, sign-in risk, and more. In this post, I’ll provide step-by-step instructions for integrating Entra Conditional Access with…

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#Active Directory#AD#Always On VPN#AOVPN#authentication#certificates#conditional access#Entra#Entra ID#identity#Identity Protection#MFA#Microsoft#Microsoft Entra#Microsoft Entra ID#multifactor authentication#NPS#strong authentication#VPN#Windows
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One of my biggest nitpicks in fiction concerns the feeding of babies. Mothers dying during/shortly after childbirth or the baby being separated form the mother shortly after birth is pretty common in fiction. It is/was also common enough in real life, which is why I think a lot of writers/readers don't think too hard about this. however. Historically, the only reason the vast majority of babies survived being separated from their mother was because there was at least one other woman around to breastfeed them. Before modern formula, yes, people did use other substitutes, but they were rarely, if ever, nutritionally sufficient.
Newborns can't eat adult food. They can't really survive on animal milk. If your story takes place in a world before/without formula, a baby separated from its mother is going to either be nursed by someone else, or starve.
It doesn't have to be a huge plot point, but idk at least don't explicitly describe the situation as excluding the possibility of a wetnurse. "The father or the great grandmother or the neighbor man or the older sibling took and raised the baby completely alone in a cave for a year." Nope. That baby is dead I'm sorry. "The baby was kidnapped shortly after birth by a wizard and hidden away in a secret tower" um quick question was the wizard lactating? "The mother refused to see or touch her child after birth so the baby was left to the care of the ailing grandfather" the grandfather who made the necessary arrangements with women in the neighborhood, right? right? OR THAT GREAT OFFENDER "A newborn baby was left on the doorstep and they brought it in and took care of it no issues" What Are You Going to Feed That Baby. Hello?
Like. It's not impossible, but arrangements are going to have to be made. There are some logistics.
#idk what to tag this#worldbuilding#writing fiction#historical fiction#fantasy#a real-life example: my dad (a pediatrician) was once entrusted with the care of a baby who was born with a rare condition#this was in a place without great hospital/medical access and anyway they were going to fly the baby over#and he specifically asked them to bring the mother and baby#they show up with baby and...the baby's uncle#and he was like. y'all. do you think I asked for the mom to come just for fun??? We don't have formula here. what is the baby going to eat?
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Passwordless and Passkeys
Ugh! Passwordless Photo by Anna Shvets Passwordless can seem to give some indigestion! 😂 Why? Because the name may suggest that it’s insecure, somehow. It has to be. Right? Nah! Well, not really. It depends on how I, the administrator, set it up and on the end users’ re-education on security. It also would mean an organization re-education as well. Multi-Factor authentication, YubiKey,…
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#Auth#Authentication#Conditional Access#EM+S#Endpoint#Enterprise Security#iOS#iPadOS#MFA#Mobile#Multi-Factor#OAuth#security
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“trans men have access to male privilege” no. some trans men have access to some male privilege if they are somehow indistinguishable from their cis male counterparts. If they outwardly pass as a man, if they have had surgery to change their internal anatomy (and it matches perisex cis male anatomy) and if no one around them knows they’re trans, then they might have a superficial access to male privilege dependent solely on where they are and the people around them.
That is a tiny minority of trans men, and you are excluding a huge number of trans men who do not fit into the necessary criteria to access some kind of male privilege.
“But people mistake them for men, so they get the benefits of male privilege” oh okay. so you’re not talking about systemic privilege. you’re not talking about the patriarchy. you’re not talking about medical discrimination that most trans men will still face regardless of how well they pass. you’re saying that your guy friends treated you better because they thought you were one of the bros. got it.
#if your male privilege can be taken away under conditions placed on you by a cis white male society do you really have access to it?#transandrophobia
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Intersectionality, disability, and being 'one of the good ones'
I am 'one of the good ones'.
I have been told this, verbatim, by various healthcare professionals.
This is because I have a severe manifestation of my disease - worse than 90% of what my specialist sees - but to their eyes, unlike most in the same bracket, I am driven to maintain as much mobility as possible.
I do the work I need to in order to remain able to work, even at a greatly reduced capacity (even if this constant effort towards condition management means making lots of sacrifices in my social and personal life). This makes me a 'good disabled person'.
This entire concept is fascinating to me - not least for the conflation of 'good' and 'has worth within a capitalist society'. It's also hugely damaging to other disabled people.
First off: I'm privileged in that one of my diseases at least, CAN have symptoms mitigated by medication, (ridiculous amounts of) physio, and surgery, even if it is still degenerative and the overall problem remains. A lot of folks have diseases that, whether due to the intractable processes involved, or medical neglect and lack of research, have no treatment whatsoever.
I'm privileged because I genuinely love my job. There are problems, don't get me wrong, but it's on its way to being a decent-paying, well-respected career that I can do from a wheelchair. People who work my job are typically treated well by society. There are strong protections in place to defend my rights as a disabled person, and though managers absolutely try to cut corners, those legal protections are still there. I find fulfilment in this work, to the point I would still do it in a perfect post-capitalist society without monetary gain. Although many people are ableist to me on a day-to-day basis, on the whole, people in this sector are somewhat educated about patient rights and disability advocation.
Why would I have any motivation to maintain my ability to work, if I was paid a poverty wage and treated like dirt for what I did for a living, on top of facing structural and interpersonal ableism?
I'm privileged because I have a loving family who help me with ADLs. While we still have our issues, they never make me feel 'lesser' for being disabled. While we used to be working class, we got very lucky and now live a comfortable middle class life, which means I have a stable home in a country with universal healthcare, that I am not in immediate danger of losing. We live together, so I receive care from them, and we get along excellently. They support me, and help me to achieve my goals.
How could I do the ridiculous amounts of extra physio and symptom management work I need to do if I didn't have people who were happy to help me cook, clean, and care for myself? How could I keep track of my medication and doctors appointments if I didn't have people who understand my memory problems and help me? How could I have the energy to work on controlling my condition - as much as it can be controlled - if I was constantly worrying about making rent or where my next meal was going to come from?
And finally, my mental health is in a genuinely good place! I do suffer from some long-term mental health problems, but they're managed and treatable, and I haven't had a severe episode in years.
How could I focus on looking after my body if my mind was constantly under attack from itself?
It's like... yeah, I've worked extremely hard to get where I am, and achieved rare results. I'm glad that's acknowledged by my healthcare team. But every day I am reminded that I would never have made it this far, had circumstances been different. That people across the world put in the exact same effort as me, and receive none of the results or the praise.
Caling me 'one of the good ones' isn't a compliment. It's a backhanded put-down to other, more vulnerable members of the disabled community. I think those of us who are classed as 'The Virtuous And Hardworking Disabled' do need to be conscientious of this. We should challenge this attitude where we can, even if we have diseases or manifestations that may be classed as 'more severe' than others.
#just some personal thoughts#I don't expect anyone to read through all this#but I think it's important#disabled#physically disabled#actually disabled#idk I feel like a lot of stuff JUST focuses on 'how bad is YOUR disease' and not. y'know. the MASSES of other factors that contribute#to how well a disabled person is treated by society and how easily they can achieve treatment goals and access care#to be clear: I don't think of myself as 'severely' disabled - I don't have an ID and I can ambulate short distances. I don't need 24/7 care#I'm visibly disabled with very obvious differences and it absolutely impacts everything in my life negatively BUT#there are MANY people in the community with more serious life-limiting diseases#I'm absolutely NOT saying we should stop talking about this - centre their voices 100%#just that within your own disability community remember to look around you and consider other people's circumstances beyond their#diagnosis - especially if you feel you have achieved 'more' than them despite having a 'worse' condition
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My new chair is here and I’m pretty sure this is the most comfortable I’ve been since birth. 😂 Bubba approves, too! I was able to make dinner, load the dishwasher, and restock the fridge/freezer independently! The zero gravity tilt has helped a lot with the pain in my back + pelvic girdle. Gratitude doesn’t feel like a big enough words for how I feel. This is my 4th chair within the last two years and I actually feel like this one is mine. Like it’s a true extension of my body; we are one. I love her and am so grateful to have her. ❤️ I have not found a name yet so I’m open to any suggestions you may have, or tips/accessory suggestions too!
#rare disability#glycogen storage disease#neuromuscular disease#rare disorder#disabilties#invisible disability#rare disease#disabled#congenital myasthenic syndrome#dysautonomia#fibromyalgia#hypermobility#mobility aid#chronically ill#chronic illness#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#accessibility#disability#degenerative disc disease#tethered spine#scoliosis#kyphosis#paraplegic#quadriparesis#incomplete paraplegic#genetic condition#medically complex#young and disabled#congenital
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i also hope that more people learn about therapeutic psychadellic use soon because in the very short time i’ve been documenting my experience being prescribed ketamine for depression i’m already sick of the “woah you’re on ketamine? like the horse tranqulizer?” comments. it’s pretty fascinating as a topic and has brought a lot of people relief and i think if you can understand someone using medical marijuana for their mental health you can understand this. (it’s more difficult to access and more strictly regulated, but still)
#ketamine is by far the most popular and easily accessed one and it’s not even easy to access lol#esketamine or spravato is the only fda approved theraputic psychadellic but people get serious relief#from psilocybin mushrooms as well#there are other theraputic drug programs but theyre much less common#but these treatments can change lifes drastically and can be totally safe under the right conditions
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Not to be really annoying and go ‘well actually’ to the joke about how silcos a twink who probably didn’t do shit in the mines and that miners all look like vander and are these big buff burly dudes is very much some propaganda in ur brain and not the reality of what conditions are like for miners from impoverished communities. You know they use children in mines bc they’re small right. If you’ve consumed any footage showing messed up mining communities that exists irl, like people who work in cobalt mines in Congo, they’re muscular, but at a glance, they’re not jacked and look pretty average. I think a lot of people are surprised seeing that they tend to be small and lanky for people doing hard manual labor all day, but that comes from not being able to afford enough quality food. You have to eat a ton of calories to get built, and that isn’t something many people who work in mines have.
#in this essay I would like to posit the theory that part of why silco became a crueler revolutionary than vander is#bc he experienced a more impoverished up bringing while vander had access to secure food and shelter#and that experience radicalized him more#I know it’s not real and it doesn’t matter BUT HEAR ME OUT the experience of being in an inherently weaker body created by the material#conditions living in an apartheid state where you’re forced into manual labor is a VERY INTERESTING characterization for your villain so#I love a villain who ends up evils bc really after a certain amount of bullshit they have no choice#which isn’t to say they’re right but serves to show how bad the system is#thank you for coming to my Ted talk#arcane#silco#vander#personal
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girls when their issues get dismissed as anxiety for the millionth time
#futaba sakura#persona 5#p5r#p5#fanart#futabadoodles#chat i am SO losing it#went to get diagnosed w adhd wasnt diagnosed because and i quote “it could be anxiety” omfg#neurotypical psychiatrists especially white ones die in a hole 🥰#also because i “wasnt struggling enough”#like hi so i have this thing called emotional intelligence a good support system and access to coping skills hope that helps!#god forbid a neurodivergent person has tools to manage their condition and isnt in hell everyday i guess!#hate her ass!!!!!!!#i wasnt looking to get diagnosed for medication or support bc i already use a lot of like adhd specific supports and shit#and w accommodations my anxiety diagnosis can cover what i need for the most part so it was rlly just a validation/confirmation thing#like idk yeah. i am managing. im not particularly struggling. because ive been selfdx for a while and have implemented changes in my life#and i happen to be in a very very good place rn and im very lucky. so like. ???#rlly felt like “you have all the symptoms but youre not struggling enough with anything to be able to diagnose ypu” ok thanks fuck you#cuz ppl w adhd can manage being unmedicated by choice i js wasnt officially diagnosed before i guess its deemed “okay” to not live in hell!#dunno im frustrated. i have difficulties but i manage them well and i am very lucky to live an easy life for now so like 😭??
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Always On VPN and Entra Conditional Access
Microsoft recently introduced Entra Private Access, an identity-centric Zero Trust Network Access (ZTNA) solution to provide secure remote access to on-premises resources. With Entra Private Access, administrators can leverage Entra Conditional Access to enforce policy-based access control for network access. However, Entra Private Access isn’t for everyone. It does not provide full feature…
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#access#access control#Always On VPN#AOVPN#authorization#conditional access#Entra#Entra Conditional Access#Entra ID#Entra Private Access#identity#Microsoft#Remote Access#security#VPN#Windows#Windows 10#Windows 11#Zero Trust#Zero Trust Network Access#ZTNA
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Rewatching TFA, for the hundredth time in a row, and I've got to say. I used to think Sari was, kind of annoying, during my first initial watch and sometimes. The things she does makes me go wide-eyed and gripping at the screen going, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"
But then now, as I'm rewatching it hundreds of times over. I have to physically remind myself that she is a child.
And not only that, but she was a child that was BARELY raised properly. She didn't have other children to socialize around, she had a robot teacher, a robot dog companion, and her occasionally in her life father who was busy manufacturing robots, entertaining the ideas of tours and etcetera.
So maybe, yes. I can definitely understand why she does rash things, and act the way she does. I understand why she's seen as a social outcast amongst other groups of kids (like in the show, ON HER BIRTHDAY).
And I'm not as mad as her, as anybody should be for a child who was raised/taught the wrong things or having not been taught at all.
However...
THIS GUY.
IS A WHOLE 'NOTHER CASE.
I JUST WANNA-
#tfa isaac sumdac#isaac sumdac I am giving you a HARD side-eye#I understand how much of an overworked father he was and I can understand he IS trying at some capacity at his best to raise a child#Given that he never initially asked for one- one just kinda... Landed in his yard.#BUT GOODD GODDDDDDDD.........#My knowledge of psychology has me doing CIRCLES around the walls of my brain watching Sari act the way she did.#IM NOT EVEN THAT MAD THAT SHE DECIDED TO RIP OUT THE WIRES TO THE SHIP TO TRY AND STOP OPTIMUS N HIS GANG FROM LEAVING#I BLAME IT ONNN SUMDAC...#LIKE... FOR HOW MANY YEARS... WAS THIS GOING ON BEFORE SHE LIKE... ACTUALLY GOT ACCESS TO THE KEY AND IT MANUALLY 'grew' HER UP???#If I was ever a character in TFA... And I knew all this. I'd be throwing hands with Sumdac I'm sorry#transformers#tfa sari sumdac#tfa sari#sari#sari sumdac#tfa#transformers animated#maccadams#macaddam#Between Miko and Sari. I kind of understand Sari more. Miko's another case that I wish.. Explored more of her background because maybe then#I'd understand it a little more? Who knows. Maybe I need to rewatch Prime too#I have no doubt that he loves Sari ofc. There was literally several episodes of him trying to reconcile that with his daughter#ANd proving how much he loved her to the point of sacrifice#But I wanna know what was going through his head prior to allat#Isaac is a special case to me of fathers who tried their best given the environment and conditions and resources they had.
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(Disabled) player's guide to making D2 more accessible
because so far (correct me if I'm wrong) I haven't seen one on here, & maybe (hopefully) it'll help someone.
Alright, to get it out of the way, I'm disabled. I have neurological damage from a tbi, and more recently another concussion, and among many many other things it makes gaming a lot more complicated. It can (unfortunately) be difficult to find advice for disabled gamers online that isn't just "get good" or "then gaming isn't for you", so I figure this might be helpful, since it was for me.
I can't speak to other conditions, so this is more about adjustments for specific symptoms, but I can only really speak from experience. That said, I've had to learn quite a bit, so it's sharing time :)
(I play on Xbox. Some settings aren't the same between platforms, just a warning. For that reason, some of this post is going to be xbox-specific.)
This is divided up into menus & subjects of bullet points are bolded to be easier to skim.
Controller settings - (and explanations for some of them in case y'all don't know)
Test out different look sensitivity. The default is 3, I moved mine up to 5. I have issues with spacial awareness and saccades dysfunction, and this has made it easier for me to keep whatever I'm looking at on-screen.
ADS sensitivity- if you don't know, this is the speed when you aim down sights. The default is 1, I have mine reduced to .5, and I've found that the larger difference between the look & ADS sensitivity can really function as having two look settings available when using a weapon that doesn't have a very extreme scope.
The default sprint-turn scale is 0.4, I bump mine up to 0.8 for similar reasons to the look sensitivity increase. (Turning this up makes you turn faster, turning it down makes you turn slower.)
Alternatively, if you have more issues with overstimulation/visual clutter/quick movements/etc, you may want to turn everything down a bit to slow down your camera, but that may make combat harder to keep up with, especially pvp.
Axial & radial deadzone. This helps with stick drift. Stick drift is a pain for everyone but if you have fine motor issues, tremors, arthritis, etc, it's even worse. Finding what works best for your hardware will help make sure you're compensating less, which puts less strain on your hands.
I've seen people recommend turning off controller haptics for the same reason- the vibrations make you grip the controller harder and can cause worse strain. Personally, I leave them on because the sensory input helps balance out the awareness issues, but maybe it's for you! (this one's a system setting, not a d2 one.)
Video settings
Brightness can be important if you have issues with eye strain. I would recommend changing this relative to the lighting in the room, not just your monitor. Turning it up may help with visual issues with the tradeoff of risking overstimulation. Again, all of this is very dependent on the person.
Motion blur- Evil, evil, evil, turn this off. Visual problems or not, it's harder to follow things on-screen with it enabled. Combined with any garden variety problem with eye movements or cognitive strain it's even worse.
Chromatic aberration- I turn this off. It's a nice vfx, but it can wind up just being added visual stimulus and if that's a problem for it's worth losing. It can also make the radar harder to read. Not worth it (personally.)
Film grain- off for the same reason. It's a smaller change, but a clearer view is worth it if it helps you.
Sound settings
If you have problems with your hearing/auditory processing, I highly recommend turning the sfx & music drastically down compared to the dialogue, and then just turning up your system audio.
Personally, I often play with music entirely off, but I know that can be a very boring experience to a lot of people, so take that as you will.
(my current settings: sfx 8, dialogue 10, music 1)
if you're playing with an Xbox party or in a discord call, etc, I really recommend messing with the mixing settings there when you first get on to balance out peoples mics, regardless of processing problems.
Gameplay settings
HUD opacity- I turn mine down to high, the default being full. Just another thing that makes it easier to keep track of stuff.
Radar Background Opacity- Opposite here. If you have problems with spatial awareness you're probably relying pretty hard on the radar instinctively, so the clearer it is, the better. I play with mine on medium, you may want to play around.
Subtitles- Are on by default, so that's nice. Let's check out their settings menu for a moment.
Turning on show speaker name can be really good for hearing/auditory processing issues.
You can also change the color for the speaker name/caption text if the clearer contrast will help you.
The best background style for visibility is box, but it won't look as nice. Another trade.
Background opacity may be easier to lower if you switch to box, since the faded style isn't even. A lower background opacity may help you follow things on-screen at the cost of caption readability
If you don't need captions but do need to reduce visual clutter, try turning them off!
Colorblind mode is, obviously, helpful if you're colorblind, but I have also heard it recommended because the color changes can help improve contrast. Not one I've tried, but worth including.
Full auto firing/Full auto melee- Does what it says. Turning this on might help in the same way as turning off haptics/messing with deadzones, ie by changing how much you need to click. You can still fire normally with it on, so if anything it just gives you another option.
Reticle location is slightly below the center on d2. I prefer to center it, though it takes some getting used to. More helpful if you frequently switch between other games that center theirs.
Neutral/targeted reticle color- The defaults are white and red respectively. I prefer black for targeted because I feel like it makes it easier to see what I'm actually aiming at, but you may want to leave it for contrast. To each their own.
Other
Brief overview of Xbox accessibility settings
Xbox has a narration setting. I would assume anyone who needs it is aware of this, but just in case.
If you need more assisted play, there's controller assist where you can combine two people's input
Turning off haptic vibration (as mentioned) is in accessibility -> controller
You can make the on-screen keyboard larger!
There are party chat settings for both text to speech and speech to text
There's also game transcription!
Games that have the function can also do their own read-aloud. I don't know if/how this applies to destiny
Mono output for audio may make things easier to understand depending on your audio setup
There's also high-contrast mode for both dark or light
Colorblind filters are here, too
Night mode! You can change how much it dims/filters your device. If you have problems with blue light or eye strain, or have to limit screens for medical reasons like me, this setting is a lifesaver. The filter will affect how your games look, but personally it's worth the tint. Same is available on most PCs.
Hardware, etc.
The Xbox Adaptive Controller is highly customizable and great for anyone with physical impairments that make the standard Xbox controller difficult to use. Find it here.
I've seen thumbstick extenders recommended for arthritis, might also be helpful for similar conditions
If you have arthritis/fine motor issues/muscle weakness/tremors/etc/etc/etc controller grips might make holding a standard controller easier
If any of those are the case for you, then you might also benefit from a lightweight controller (or playing with a standard controller plugged in & removing the batteries for a lesser weight adjustment)
evilcontrollers also has one-handed controllers and a one-handed controller customizer much like the standard controller customizers
evilcontrollers for hardware accessibility in general
If you play on PC and have muscle or joint issues then you may want to look into different keyboard/mouse shapes. Lightweight, vertical, and ball mice are all options, though there's apparently some argument about using them for gaming. I've also seen good reviews of the Azeron keypad from people with muscular/joint problems. There's also split keyboards, wave keyboards, one-handed, etc etc etc.
If you have problems with auditory processing I would HIGHLY recommend gaming with noise-cancelling headphones. (Hell, do everything with noise cancelling headphones.) I would recommend these for everyday, but they also work pretty well for gaming. The mic is mid, but it works well enough, and there's multiple sound modes + active noise cancelling.
Other other (oh no I forgot these, editing now)
Compression gloves !!!!!
Pause and do hand exercises after a while
20/20/20 rule for eye strain
may come back and expand this as I think of more things
There is a lot that Bungie could do to improve the game's accessibility without causing an imbalance with abled players, but I'll save that for another post. Feel free to reblog this with any other advice/anecdotal stuff/whatever, I'm considering this as opening a discussion.
I don't know of any clans specifically for disabled players but I'm sure they exist? If anyone has recommendations for community stuff, please do throw that in.
As always, my dms are open. Being a disabled gamer can suck sometimes and if you need a space to vent w/ someone who gets it, I'm your guy. If you're just curious how it impacts gaming, I don't mind being asked, I just don't feel like posting about myself that much unprompted.
I think that's all for now. Happy gaming :)
#destiny 2#dredgenposting#disability#gonna tag a bunch of things for reach lol watch this get lengthy (i'm not adding these tags as conditions I have just asrelevant ones lmao#tbi#traumatic brain injury#cerebral palsy#physically disabled#physical disability#accessability#accessible gaming#arthritis#carpel tunnel#nerve damage#nerve pain#chronic pain#chronic illness#sensory processing disorder#dyspraxia#amputee#fibromyalgia#color blindness#dysautonomia#neurological disability#neurological conditions#vestibular dysfunction#vestibular balance disorder#brain injury#brain damage#acquired disability
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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every day i wish there had been a better solution for the qin su marriage problem.
in my fix-it fics i either have some other sect leader claim that he was actually madly in love with her this whole time and sweep her away for jgy's sake, have her mom confess earlier, make jgy decide to tell her for her own good and have them work together, or not give them a chance to meet and fall in love in the first place (i guess i could also make qin su have a miscarriage, but that's really sad and awful and not my preferred option at all), but all of those require tweaks to the circumstances, sometimes early on so they don't meet or jgy feels safe enough to talk with her or another confidant, or sometimes later like madam qin finding out they're pregnant before the marriage prep is too far along and telling one or both of them right away so they can make other arrangements.
with the situation being what it was, jgy didn't find out soon enough to do anything that wouldn't involve either marrying her anyway (and he didn't think telling her about it would do anything except make her upset and depressed) or leaving her essentially a ruined woman with no prospects and an illegitimate child who would inevitably grow up fatherless, which is pretty much exactly what his dad did to meng shi. this would be a crueler option than pretty much anything else, and given that he clearly still cares about her, he couldn't do that in good conscience. jgy tries his best to protect the people he loves, unless there is literally no other way for him to survive.
it's one more example of jgy being faced with a situation where the only choices are bad ones, and making the decision that he thinks will hurt the fewest number of people. metatextually, it's one more example of women in fiction being shoved aside and not given agency in their own lives, and getting killed off instead of surviving and growing as people like the male characters are allowed to do. it's just a tragic situation all around and i wish there had been something they could have done.
#the untamed#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#cql#chen qing ling#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#jin guangyao#qin su#mxtx#mo xiang tong xiu#yunmeng bee posts#this encapsulates the tragedy of jgy's life in a lot of ways imo#there's also the aspect of jin rusong - jgy believes there's a chance of him being born disabled in a way that would suggest incest#which would spell disaster for not only him‚ but also qin su and rusong himself#the few academic articles i was able to access (aka not behind a paywall) suggest that the penalty for incest in ancient china +#+ was public execution of both parties! jgy emphatically does not want that to happen to either himself or qin su!#now i don't know how likely it would be for jrs to have some kind of condition that would make people suspicious#(i've done some research on it bc i was curious‚ but it was either vague‚ behind a paywall‚ or too technical for me to understand haha)#but jgy is (justifiably!!) paranoid. people are already gossiping and speculating about him - this would ruin him‚ his wife‚ his child‚#and possibly his friends too#whether you believe he killed his son or not‚ you have to admit that letting qs carry him to term was an incredibly risky decision#and i think it was because he loved her. he wanted her to have the child she wanted.#if she couldn't have a husband who couldn't be around her without fear & distress‚ she would at least have her son. he wanted that for her.#it would have been so easy for him to slip her an abortifacient‚ or to smother the baby while he slept or give him poison#and blame it on the kid being fragile/the high death rate in children. i don't think they knew what sids was but sometimes babies just die#because he didn't kill rusong in utero or when he was a newborn‚ i find it unlikely that he arranged rusong's death years later#but everyone can have their own opinion on that i guess#again... if jgy was as awful as people seem to believe he is‚ he'd have just murdered his way out easily and survived the book!#his love is his downfall!!!
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wouldn’t it be cool if more posts had image descriptions
#i know sometimes it’s hard to remember and it’s not something sighted people usually think about but since i’ve started writing them more#it’s become very apparent how common it is to just skip out on the description#and like ok let’s say no people with sight issues will see your post. weird & low key ableist hypothetical but let’s pretend#many important posts on here are getting flagged and marked inappropriate or in violation of terms and conditions and images are being taken#down left and right. and guess what! there’s no description#no one can remember why this 80k note post has been taken down except vaguely that it was critical of right wing admin#it is an accessibility issue but it’s also a records issue#even without the accessibility issue these descriptions are still necessary for information sharing
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(current wc total: 615,812) Word count breakdown so far for this project! Locations are still in-progress, and some of the main quests were transcribed before I knew how to access the files (thus the out-of-order list) so they may still be missing content.
#dragon age inquisition#just idle chatter#for the curious#bearing in mind that i have a few repeat scenes that varied too much based on certain conditions so i just made a whole new post for them#between veilguard transcript posts i've been trying to edit some of the older stuff to start my re-formatting endeavors#joh has been transcribed by another blog but i might try to organize them into a masterpost here (with their links) for ease-of-access#and i'm currently still waffling on companion banter since they're all already on the wiki#you know#becuase i didn't already fill my plate and three more plates with the other games lol#long post#ish#mostly just big images
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