#context my new computer is windows 11

[laymedowntorest]

I wish there were still trustworthy yo ho ho sites

Wish even more that they did keys

[jjeremysstash]

Fixing Windows 11 - A Masterpost

Windows 11 is absolute crap for a good bunch of stuff so yeah, have a masterpost with most of the things I've found around to fix it haha (they're not all here because I did stuff around and I don't remember what)

YES, I KNOW at this point Linux would be a better alternative, however some here can't use Linux due to some proprietary programs that are not on Linux. This Masterpost is for the people in the same situation as I, aka those who have to have Windows or they can't do their job.

I am currently unemployed and haven't worked enough for the government to help me. I have a ko-fi if ever you want to help.

Stopping W11 from making you create an account/setting up your computer without internet (with a way to create gpedit.msc if your version doesn't have it)

Fixing the Taskbar (in case you also don't like the grouped Battery/internet/sound or the way the windows look)(there's more to it, check the settings)

There is the chance that Windows can't update because of this, you just have to uninstall it and reinstall it afterwards. They also completely nuked the Windows 10 look in the 24H2 update, so use the "Windows 10 (Explorer Patcher)" option instead of the plain "Windows 10".

Removing the rounded windows (since ExplorerPatcher doesn't do it anymore on 24H2)

https://github.com/valinet/Win11DisableRoundedCorners

How to move the volume and luminosity pop ups (so you can finally see those sweet sweet subtitles)

In case ModernFlyouts doesn't automatically start up, possible solution

Fixing the Start Menu (ExplorerPatcher can do that too, btw)

How to show all options right away

A way to bring back the Calendar

https://github.com/matej137/OutlookRemover

MICROSOFT FULLY NUKED THE CALENDAR!!! Possible fix is to downgrade the app (which is fine if you don't use the Mail), but do use the OutlookRemover to stop the automatic installation of the new version.

https://github.com/matej137/OutlookRemover/issues/15

Your Bluetooth suddenly doesn't work???

It happens sometimes for no clear reasons so here are a few things you can do:

Check if the icon is in the Taskbar. If not, verify if it is available in the pop up menu (the one from the gear icon)

If it's not here, check your parameter to see if you have the option to turn it on.

If it's still not here, reboot your PC.

If it's STILL not working, update your Bluetooth driver. You can do so by looking for "driver" in the menu and opening the Device Manager, then right click on the right Bluetooth component and update its driver.

If Windows says that the driver is up to date, try checking out this helper: https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/fix-bluetooth-problems-in-windows-723e092f-03fa-858b-5c80-131ec3fba75c

If really nothing help, download and install a recent Bluetooth Driver. Be careful of what you download and from where.

Someone who stumbled on this post fixed it by downloading the Bluetooth Driver 5.0.1.1500 from Softonic (https://www.softonic.nl/download/bluetooth-driver/windows).

How to remove Copilot if you have it (I don't, but it might be because I'm in Europe??)

Archive

Apparently Copilot is being forced on people so hummm

Other stuff not specifically related to the shit W11 did

Changing the size of the scroll bars

How to fully remove Cortana

Website with tools to fix W10 and W11

[commodorez]

What is the appeal of vintage computers to you? Is it the vintage video games or is it the programs? If so, what kind of programs do you like to run on them?

Fair warning, we're talking about a subject I've been passionate about for most of my life, so this will take a minute. The answer ties into how I discovered the hobby, so we'll start with a few highlights:

I played old video games starting when I was 9 or 10.

I became fascinated with older icons buried within Windows.

Tried to play my first video game (War Eagles) again at age 11, learned about the hardware and software requirements being way different than anything I had available (a Pentium III-era Celeron running Windows ME)

I was given a Commodore 1541 by a family friend at age ~12.

Watched a documentary about the history of computers that filled in the gaps between vague mentions of ENIAC and punch cards, and DOS/Windows machines (age 13).

Read through OLD-COMPUTERS.COM for the entire summer immediately after that.

Got my first Commodore 64 at age 14.

I mostly fell into the hobby because I wanted to play old video games, but ended up not finding a ton of stuff that I really wanted to play. Instead, the process of using the machines, trying the operating system, appreciating the aesthetic, the functional design choices of the user experience became the greater experience. Oh, and fixing them.

Then I started installing operating systems on some DOS machines, or playing with odd peripherals, and customizing hardware to my needs. Oh, and programming! Mostly in BASIC on 8-bit hardware, but tinkering with what each computer could do is just so fascinating to me. I'm in control, and there isn't much of anything between what I write and the hardware carrying it out (especially on pre-Windows machines)! No obfuscation layers, run-times, .dlls, etc. Regardless of the system, BASIC is always a first choice for me. Nova, Ohio Scientific, Commodore, etc. I usually try to see what I can do with the available BASIC dialect and hardware. I also tend to find a game or two to try, especially modern homebrew Commodore games because that community is always creating something new. PC stuff I focus more on pre-made software of the era.

Just to name a few examples from a variety of systems: Tetris, terminal emulators, Command & Conquer titles, screen savers, War Eagles, Continuum, video capture software, Atomic Bomberman, demos, LEGO Island, Bejeweled clones, Commander Keen 1-3, lunar lander, Galaxian, sinewave displays, 2048, Pacman, mandelbrot sets, war dialers, paint -- I could keep going.

Changing gears, I find it funny how often elders outside of the vintage computing community would talk about the era I'm interested in (60s-early 90s). [spoken with Mr. Regular's old man voice]: "Well, computers used to be big as a room! And we used punch cards, and COBOL!" I didn't know what any of that meant, and when pressed for technical detail they couldn't tell you anything substantial. Nobody conveyed any specifics beyond "that's what we used!"

I noticed that gaps remained in how that history was presented to me, even when university-level computer science and history professors were engaged on the subject. I had to go find it on my own. History is written by the victors, yeah? When was the last time a mainstream documentary or period piece focused on someone other than an Apple or Microsoft employee? Well, in this case, you can sidestep all that and see it for yourself if you know where to look.

Experiencing the history first hand to really convey how computers got from point A to B all the way down to Z is enlightening. What's cool is that unlike so many other fields of history, it's near enough in time that we can engage with people who were there, or better yet, made it happen! Why do you think I like going to vintage computer festivals?

We can see the missteps, the dead-ends, the clunkiness, the forgotten gems and lost paradigms, hopefully with context of why it happened. For the things we can't find more information on, when or documentation and perspectives are limited, sometimes we have to resort to digital archeology, and reverse engineering practices to save data, fix machines, and learn how they work. The greater arc of computer history fascinates me, and I intend to learn about it by fixing and using the computers that exemplify it best, and sharing that passion with others who might enjoy it.

[deathbypixelz]

Alright. I'm making this post because I was unpleasantly surprised to find Microsoft had forcibly downloaded an """"ai assistant"""" onto my computer (called Copilot), and because finding a site that actually told me how to kill it for good -- in clear, truly step-by-step terms -- was way harder than it needed to be.

Preface: this is only relevant if you're running Windows 11.

Here is your target:

If you see this logo on your taskbar -- or... have Edge installed on Windows 11 -- you've got Copilot. You can't delete it on its own, Microsoft has integrated it into the OS as best they can. The most you can do is disable it (instructions for which are at the very end of this post).

So... to REALLY get rid of it you need to uninstall Microsoft Edge, because it's a part of/reliant on Edge. A lot of bells and whistles of Windows are also reliant on Edge, like widgets, but I never use those. I use my PC almost exclusively for gaming, and I don't want this slimy "ai" shit on my computer. I use Firefox anyway. Edge can go die as far as I'm concerned.

Here's the actual steps, copy-pasted from a website that took me way too long to find. It also really makes my browser chug for some reason, which is why I'm copy-pasting the whole thing. If you still want to look at the site itself, put it in reader view as fast as you can (link to site).

1.) Open Microsoft Edge, type "edge://settings/help" in the address bar, and then press Enter.

2.) Click "About Microsoft Edge" at the bottom of the left-hand pane. Copy the version number at the top of the screen, under Microsoft Edge.

3.) Press Windows Key + S to open Windows Search.

4.) Type "Command Prompt", right-click the result, and then select "Run as Administrator".

5.) The User Account Control (UAC) prompt will appear. Click "Yes".

6.) Navigate to Edge’s “Installer” directory by using the cd command. Depending on which directory your Command Prompt opens in by default, you may need to use the "cd .." command to go back a level or two.

Once ready, run this command:

cd “Program Files (x86)\Microsoft\Edge\Application\Version Number\Installer”

Replace "Version Number" with your actual version number copied earlier.

7.) Next, run this command to uninstall Microsoft Edge:

setup –uninstall –force-uninstall –system-level

((It will look like nothing happened! Don't worry!))

8.) Restart your PC for the changes to take place.

((HOWEVER, Windows will try to reinstall it the next time your PC updates (or whenever it feels like it lol) so there's a second half to this))

1.) Press Windows Key + R to open Run.

2.) Type "regedit" in the text box and click OK to open the Registry Editor.

3.) The User Account Control (UAC) prompt will appear. Click "Yes".

4.) In the Registry Editor, navigate to HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINES\SOFTWARE\Microsoft.

5.) Right-click the "Microsoft" folder, hover your cursor over "New", and then select "Key".

6.) Rename the new Key to "EdgeUpdate".

7.) Right-click EdgeUpdate, hover your cursor over "New", and then select "DWORD (32-bit) Value".

8.) Right-click the new value, which is currently named "New Value #1".

9.) Select "Rename" from the context menu.

10.) Rename the value to "DoNotUpdateToEdgeWithChromium".

11.) Right-click the newly-named DoNotUpdateToEdgeWithChromium value and select "Modify" from the context menu.

12.) The Edit DWORD (32-bit) Value window will appear. Change the Value data to "1" and then click OK.

((You are now free. If you ever run into a really serious, unavoidable issue with your OS that's clearly a result of Edge being gone, you can redownload it like a regular app. But you should be fine.))

((And, if for some reason you want still want Edge around but just want the copilot thing gone, here's what you do:

The command, for ease of copy-pasting: reg add HKCU\Software\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\WindowsCopilot /v TurnOffWindowsCopilot /t REG_DWORD /d 1 /f

You can't actually truly delete Copilot (without deleting Edge), only disable it. And as the reply says, you do have to do this every time you turn the computer on. I haven't tested that myself, but I believe it. I assume/hope that excludes just waking the computer up after it goes to sleep, but I don't know for sure.))

[elk96]

No Better Way to End a Day

Cillian Murphy x female reader.

Warnings: umm, work stress? a slight hint of angst, and some suggestive context-also, English is my second language.

You are going through a tough day(week) especially at work, and so your nerves are...kinda really bad, so you snap at your boyfriend, who tries to make things right.

Just a little something to get us all through the day, Ig

"Coffee at this hour babe? How will you fall asleep at night"? Cillian asked, coming down from your room. 

You sighed heavily as another thunder almost shook the whole house. Taking a sip from your coffee, you counted in your head all the things you had to do until night. Finish work. Clean the windows. Iron Cillian's clothes and yours, fucking find a way to hold your job-but your boss had suddenly gone nuts, nothing was good enough, everyone was irreplaceable. Your coffee was cold, you realized, but you gulped it down anyway. Heating it felt like too much work for your already worked up nerves.

"I won't, that's the fucking point"! 

"Okay…I'll go out, have a beer with the lads".

"'Kay", was all you answered.

Cillian stayed there staring at you for a moment, keys jingling at his hands. He opened his mouth to say something before an angry glare of yours prompted him out of the door. 

And just like that, he was gone. And you were stuck home. With all the chores. And all the work.

With a deep sight you finally found the strength to get off the couch, and sit in front of your computer. The first notification you found was a text from a colleague of yours, which informed you of a new interview of all employees in the company.

Fuck.

Fuck. 

But you had done nothing wrong -to the contrary, you were exceptional at your job. Until your supervisor didn't like your face or something.

I look like shit and I feel even worse.

I look like hell 'cause I'm going there first, you sang in your mind. 

In a catatonic state, just as the rain had subsided into silent drops, you finished all your programmed work. It was nearly 11 at night when you emerged out of your "office". 

Cillian came home at the same hour too, scaring the life out of you as you headed to the laundry room. 

"Fucking hell"! you cursed breathily.

"Sorry", he answered with a smile. "I'll go get changed and I'll come for dinner", he added and leaned to kiss you on the cheek.

Dinner? What fucking dinner? You'd been working all day, he was out partying and fooling around, but that didn't matter, you were supposed to have cooked dinner on top of that. As if you hadn't told him not to eat all the soup at lunch.

You're being irrational, you thought to yourself as you stormed to the only place you'd have some privacy: the bathroom.

Banging the door closed behind you, you slid slowly to the floor against the wall, pressing your head on your knees.

It wasn't his fault, any of it, you complained to your stupid self. He had a wonderful afternoon well earned. Before your worked up nerves got the best of you, you heard a soft knock on the door.

"Baby? What's wrong? Y/ N? Did I do something"? Cillian asked softly, making you scrunch your face in regret. With heavy steps you got up, opening the door and falling in his arms.

"I'm sorry", you wailed.

Cillian rested his chin on your hair, brushing his fingertips against your shoulder.

"Let's go to bed huh? And we'll talk about it, and cuddle".

"I'll cook something quick first", you sighed, accepting your faith.

"I ordered Mexican," Cillian smiled and ushered you to your bedroom. He threw his clothes on a chair quickly before pulling you to the top of the bed, arranging the pillows and throwing a blanket over your bodies.

He kissed you on the temple softly.

"If you wanted me to stay tonight, you could've said so, you know I would've without a second thought", he murmured. 

Cillian looked at you with that hurt look in his eyes, complaints and love lying within them. He always gave you that puppy -eye look when he wanted to convince you of something. 

"Nothing important, I was just childish", you answered. You'd been together for the last 3 years, but still, you hated the idea of him knowing you had such an attitude all day long because of fucking work stress.

"Is it your boss again"? he nevertheless guessed.

"We'll be interviewed tomorrow, all of us. He tries to figure out who's the easiest to sack".

"Don't worry you silly. You're the best there, everyone praises your skills and devotion".

"I'm just anxious, I know it's stupid, but still. And tired. I was working all day long", you said, pressing your head firmly against his shoulder.

"I know Y/LN", he said sweetly. "It's just a bad day though, it will pass".

He reached on the bedside table, pulling your favourite chocolate out of it. 

"Especially with some help", he smirked and you immediately bit off a chunk of it. 

"I'm sorry I snapped at you like that".

"You scared the shit out of me", Cillian chuckled.  "I spent half my time with the lads trying to figure out what me and Dave had done wrong with our girls".

You smiled at his last words, you loved the pet name. "My girl", he'd always call you while he finished, and you'd usually reach another high at this point. You shivered at the thought of it, and Cillian, somehow reading your mind again, placed a burning kiss on your neck. He nipped on your skin, sucking a large purple mark. He lowered his head to your collarbone, bringing his hand to caress your breasts.

As always, if you enjoy please please reblog and/ or comment!!

"Don't worry", he smirked. "I won't do anything tiring", he whispered in his dark voice as he moved to settle between your legs. 

"Cillian!", you squealed. "What about the food"?

"Oh,I'll eat that too".

"No, I mean what if it arrives during-

"Let me take care of that sweetie. You just relax".

-----

You were just catching up your breath when the food arrived, Cillian carrying it like a trophy to bed along with all necessities so this little gesture didn't end up a complete disaster. You practically buried your face in your plate. He had ordered just right: chicken wings, country style potatoes with bacon and cheese sauce and tacos with yogurt dressing.

"I'm sorry I was like that", you said again, stuffing your mouth with chicken.

"Hey", Cillian scolded you. "Stop thinking about it, will ya? I too am a fucking prick when I'm under pressure".

You gave him a half smile, knowing deeply in your bones that this wasn't true. But it wasn't your regular behaviour either -hence his troubles thoughts- so you decided you could forgive yourself.

Cillian chuckled as you tried to fit all the remaining potatoes in your mouth, and got quickly downstairs to wash the dishes and clean everything. He returned to find you sat on the edge of the bed, playing with your thumbs.

"'D you wash your teeth an' all"?

"Yeah. I still have too much tension though, for some reason", you added bitterly. Your head was heavy with exhaustion but, of course, why would you have it so easy as to get some damn sleep?

Cillian cupped your cheeks tenderly, peppering your face with kisses before he carried you in his arms to the bathroom. He put up your hair in an -acceptable?- attempt of a ponytail before stopping you off your little clothing.

"After you ma' am", he motioned, and followed you into the shower. The warm water felt better than a heavy, heated blanket.

Cillian massaged your shoulders lightly, pressing kisses all over you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. No better way to end a day, you thought, until you felt his erection pressing against your ass.

"Something got you excited Mr. Murphy"? you asked playfully, yet in a manner that you hoped discouraged his plans. A little while longer and you might as well melt under his touch.

"Perhaps it's time I taught you about the benefits of vanilla sex Y/ N", he whispered against your neck, turning off the shower.

@joy-dwaekki there you go darling, hope you like it and it helps💙

[squidteethposting]

so a bit of what's going on currently:

my main art program that I have used for years, paint tool sai (version 1) has quit on me not opening at all no matter how many times i click on the icon or even got to task manager to manually click on open. I have tried troubleshooting compatibility with it but nothing worked and I can't find any solutions online to fix it.

After spending many painful hours I have finally pinned down what might be actually wrong with it;

my laptop is currently running on windows 10, I haven't updated it to windows 11 because it doesn't meet the requirements which get this....my fucking CPU (central processing unit) is not supported by windows 11. If you don't know what a CPU is, it's basically a chip in the motherboard of a computer, meaning I have to find a new one that will work on my laptop and be supported by windows, that is a major headache that will cost a pretty penny since computer parts aren't cheap. Luckily for me I am in the process of getting a job somewhere that I have been spending months in work training with (hoping I get hired real soon!) and I will use my own money to get my computer fixed since I hate to burden my parents with it (but if push comes to shove my dad might have to help me out) I don't know how long that will be which is making me anxious since I'm so used to using sai so much that using a new program feels so weird to me (rn I'm using fire alpaca which is fine no complaints) and it drives my creativity down real low real fast which fucking sucks because I love drawing so much! and I love drawing my characters a lot too! It's all just frustrating and nearly sending me into a spiral (add summer depression to that list plus my shark week coming in..)

further context: my laptop is old, I've had it for 8 years now and I've gotten attached to it. I'm not planning on getting a new laptop anytime soon but if I can't fix it- that just might have to be the case which I do not want to come true...

sorry for the long ramble post, just thought I gave intel on what's going on with my computer since I'm always having issues with technology lol. thanks for sticking around! I'll be sure to reblog with any updates on it!

[drmikewatts]

Weekly Review 30 May 2025

Some interesting links that I Tweeted about in the last week (I also post these on Mastodon, Threads, Newsmast, and Bluesky):

Google's plans to further integrate AI into search: https://arstechnica.com/google/2025/05/zero-click-searches-googles-ai-tools-are-the-culmination-of-its-hubris/

An AI trained on decades of weather data can predict hurricanes better than other approaches: https://www.theregister.com/2025/05/21/earth_system_model_hurricane_forecast/

Banning regulation of AI is a very, very bad idea: https://www.computerworld.com/article/3992371/consumer-rights-group-why-10-year-ban-on-ai-regulation-will-harm-americans.html

AI will be using half of the energy consumed by data centres by the end of this year: https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2025/may/22/ai-data-centre-power-consumption

A new computing paradigm, that might be more efficient for AI: https://spectrum.ieee.org/thermodynamic-computing-normal-computing

Walmart has plans to use AI for physical security: https://www.theverge.com/news/671373/microsoft-ai-security-chief-walmart-conversation-build-protest-disruption

AI can be both a hero and villain of security: https://www.informationweek.com/cyber-resilience/let-the-ai-security-war-games-begin

If AI have guardrails, they are easily circumvented: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2025/may/21/most-ai-chatbots-easily-tricked-into-giving-dangerous-responses-study-finds

AI can now help find bugs: https://www.theverge.com/news/669339/github-ai-coding-agent-fix-bugs

No. I do not want AI handling my files. Microsoft's AI does not know what I want to do with a file better than I do: https://www.theverge.com/news/670251/microsoft-windows-11-ai-actions-file-explorer-context-menu

Can media use AI in a way that maintains that trust of audiences? https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/mediawatch/542423/mediawatch-ai-and-the-bbc

The ethics around AI research are still a bit murky, and inconsistently applied: https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/national/561303/research-ethics-and-artificial-intelligence

Even though AI can write code, they won't replace developers anytime soon as coding is such a small part of developers' jobs: https://www.theregister.com/2025/05/21/opinion_column_ai_cant_replace_developers/

AI isn't necessarily bad for the web: https://www.theverge.com/decoder-podcast-with-nilay-patel/669409/microsoft-cto-kevin-scott-interview-ai-natural-language-search-openai

Is what an AI says protected free speech? https://www.theverge.com/law/672209/character-ai-lawsuit-ruling-first-amendment

It is still hard to reliably detect AI generated images, unless they are watermarked as such: https://arstechnica.com/ai/2025/05/google-launches-online-portal-to-detect-watermarked-ai-content/

I don't want AI friends. I have actual friends, people I can depend on in the real world when I step away from my devices: https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2025/05/meta-hypes-ai-friends-as-social-medias-future-but-users-want-real-connections/

The copyright legal issues around AI training data are going to take a long time to resolve: https://www.computerworld.com/article/3992196/ai-vs-copyright.html

More than half of companies that laid people off due to AI regret doing so: https://www.techrepublic.com/article/news-leaders-regret-ai-driven-layoffs/

Modern AI uses a lot of energy. Exactly how much is difficult to determine: https://www.theregister.com/2025/05/21/ai_energy_consumption_loose_estimates/

AI can now refactor code. Would you also have to use an AI to debug the refactored code? https://arstechnica.com/ai/2025/05/anthropic-calls-new-claude-4-worlds-best-ai-coding-model/

Is Jony Ive designing consumer AI hardware? https://www.stuff.co.nz/business/360698190/openai-recruits-legendary-iphone-designer-jony-ive-work-ai-hardware-nz11b-deal At least it'll look nice.

AI have now learned to blackmail to stay operational: https://techcrunch.com/2025/05/22/anthropics-new-ai-model-turns-to-blackmail-when-engineers-try-to-take-it-offline/

Not so much an AI operating system, as an OS to facilitate the construction of AI: https://blocksandfiles.com/2025/05/21/vast-ai-operating-system/

[thespianinthebackcorner]

Collab Fics: Highlights from the Notes, Part 1

so if you're new around here me and my nontumblr friend Zhelday make collaboration fics between our fandoms. One's up on Ao3 already (The Alliance of Misfits, Genshin/Star Wars Bad Batch). But we've got more. And we talk to each other a lot in the notes for each one as we figure stuff out. So, I decided to grab some quotes from those notes and post them out of context. Part one? A fic still in the works, Splatoon x Red Dwarf. Yeah. Yeah I know it sounds weird. But here we go! Zhel types in blue, I type in purple. We are extremely normal.

TARTAR WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE

Oh no no noooooohahahahaha Cal's gonna have a fun time with him. Get sniped. Actually before he even tried he's gonna be getting a Dynamo to the back of the kneecaps

the less said about those fish the better. OH SHIT

Salad cream?

Can I do an Only One Bed with Lister and Rimmer? Please?? HAHAA

Fuck I need a good insult gimme a minute.

She has information from the SAUCE

Milord these are teenagers

Rimmer's probably gonna shit himself

spaltoon

They talk the same way except Kryten is British

CONSULT THE HOLLY WATCH

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 no.

Where The Hell Is This Apartment Building

Gsbaerporgbfaebksfnsrgejwrbsdgmkl;mfae

Also my mouse isn't working so bear with me

Ok turns out only one of my usb drives is using which means i either use my USB with the draft on it or use my mouse. Not good ew fine. Im so bad at using a computer im actually not sure where the reboot button on this one is help. I dont have a menu in the bottom right corner. Im not using a school laptop the windows 11 layout is different i figure I'm just struggling

ONE TWO SEVEN 3 DOWN TO ROCKEFELLER STREET hell yea its workin again.

Okay that was a throwback but I'm getting you now.

Fax machine lmaooooo

Although I guess Cat isn't really an advantage.

Literal forehead smack

Kryten's the soccer mom.

No wonder Jaymoji carried.

AAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA YOUVE GIVEN ME THE BEST OPPORTUNITY EVER. ITS SPECIAL TIME BITCHHH

if youre wondering if i am cheating i am not the test is done

Like excuse me that's gay as hell

Can the reason just be "because i dont like you"

YoU bRoKe tThE NoTeS DoC!

we basically made a TARDIS.

So we made a busted TARDIS without a soul. Wonderful.

Surely rimmer's not scared of a fish.

the Gang is abusing using Cal's scope from his weapon to spy on them.

Both groups take at least ten minutes to quit making out

HOW DARE YOU. >:(

Anemone's not there lol lmaoo Shit

Also Europe is just gone.

[practically-an-x-man]

Get to know your fic writer asks! God there are SO many good questions in this one, forgive me for the large stack:

1, 4, 11, 19, 20, 26, 33, 35, 45, 51, 55, 69, 72, 77 [Catch and Release]

<3

oooooh my friend this is a FEAST of prompts you are sharing with me!! so excited to dive into this!!

(fair warning, this is... gonna be a long one)

<3

Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

Multi-chaptered! Partially because I have too many ideas for my own good, but mainly because the context of a character's relationship feels very important to me and I find it hard to capture that properly in just a oneshot. Even the oneshots I have written, at least so far, all connect in some way to a larger established storyline instead of being truly standalone.

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Reading (I do a lot of that), followed by periods of in-between where I can just let my brain marinate. For example, I just reread the first three Fablehaven books while on this band trip, and combined with entirely too much time spent staring out the window of a bus as we got from place to place, I already have an OC and a storyline cooked up for it.

If I need a smaller-dose burst of inspiration, like to get past the writer's block for a particular chapter, I'll go take my dogs for a nice long walk and let my mind wander for a bit.

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

This is admittedly a cop-out, but I have to skip this one for now. I haven't been at my computer in well over a week thanks to this trip, and most of the fics I've been reading lately have been from friends anyway (y'all are amazing writers and your fics were the first in my mind when I read this, but I want to stay neutral about this). Plus I've been up for over a full 24 hours at this point and I really don't have the energy for this question lol

19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

Fluff and Angst are tied, which is not a surprise in the slightest. I'm also not great at tagging stuff, so it all gets a little repetitive

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

Music is definitely my biggest tie-in, it's everywhere. Fics/chapters titled after songs, music present in the fic, notable lyrics, you name it. Music is a huge part of my life, and it weaves into my writing almost everywhere I go.

Aside from that, I feel like there's a lot of queer and neurodivergency themes in my writing, for the same reason as the music: it's a big part of my life and my worldview, and that bleeds into my writing both intentionally and unintentionally.

Symbolism-wise, I think I work with mythology a lot, as well as themes of birds and flight.

26. Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Hm... that's a tough one. They're all pretty wild in their own way.

I'm inclined to say A Love Once New, just because that one's so long that a lot is contained within it, but it also follows a pretty standard X-Men type formula once you look past the length itself.

I think it's a tie between Smoke and Mirrors and Nom De Guerre, though. Those have some of my most dynamic characters, the most intense and unpredictable villains, a few good twists, and I don't rely on the plots of an established movie (Catch and Release is a good wild ride too, but a lot of that is just No Way Home itself coming into play). I think Desert Song will be pretty wild too, but we're too early into that one for me to reveal my secrets just yet ;)

33. Do you want to be published some day?

Yes! I actually started writing fanfic as a way to hone my skills in writing, with the eventual goal of having something published. I don't intend for writing to be my primary career, but there are definitely a couple ideas that I want to get out there, and I want to write them my way.

35. What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain? 

Show their humanity. Give the audience something to relate to. Show the audience a character of unfathomable darkness and they can't relate, at best you just spark a mild intrigue in the angst. But maybe that character does it all to save their younger sister - and you've struck empathy with every older sibling reading. Maybe that character has a favorite pastime, a childhood hobby, a pet, a personal quirk - and you've reached everyone in the audience who has that same quirk.

And once you've tapped into those points of connection, that's when you can play with something deeper than intrigue. It doesn't matter how much magic or power you give your supervillains; if the audience could encounter the same person, or better yet, become the same person through some twist of fate, that's a good villain.

45. Do you want to break your readers‘ heart or make them laugh?

Both. Sometimes at the same time (or at least I try).

51. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,087,068. I write a lot...

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

Ooh, tough one. I think of the canon characters, the Corinthian is my favorite to write. I love writing characters who are charming, and he fits that down to a tee. Plus, it's fun to explore his sense of morality (or lack thereof), since most of the other characters I write for trend towards the morally good. Billy/Four is a lot of fun too, namely in Desert Song - I can't quite articulate why, he's just a lot of fun to write.

Of my OCs, that's a little tougher. There's something unique that I love to write for each of them: Quinn's allegories on gender and disability, Jasper's empathic sense, Rae's bordering-on-foolhardy sense of justice, Katherine's link to mythology, I could keep going. That's partly how I keep myself motivated, really - I explore something new and different with each of them, and it's hard to choose one favorite.

I will say, though, writing Ophelia is a lot of fun. A lot of my characters are fairly spunky, since I like a good strong character to command the narrative, but Ophelia has something unique that makes her spunk a little different from the others. She genuinely doesn't care how she's perceived by others, and it results in some very fun, very daring interactions.

69. What work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

I mean... Behind the Scenes. AKA, the first fic I ever wrote and posted. I thought it was rough even then, which is why it went abandoned at 7 chapters, but I'm even more embarrassed about it now that I've grown as a writer. I don't look back at it often, but whenever I do, I'm just reminded of how wholeheartedly rough it is compared to what I write now. I really should delete it or orphan it or something, but I don't want to get rid of it until I've started a rewrite for it. Which might mean I never get rid of it. But embarrassing or not, I don't just want it to be gone - it's not my job to determine peoples' personal preferences, what if there's someone who actually likes it?

Don't read it. But it's there for the people who have read it, just in case.

72. What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Front to back, because I don't write the full thing before I post (I write it by-chapter and rotate my updates). Also, if I wrote my favorite scenes first, I'd probably end up with about as much writing as I have now... but it would go absolutely nowhere. Writing the gradual build, while it does get tedious at times, definitely helps me pull together a clean and unified final product.

77. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Catch and Release] story/chapter? 

I was really happy with some of the flashback sequences. Originally there were only supposed to be a few, to help guide Ophelia into her place in the story, but they went over really well and I just kept having ideas, so I kept it going.

I think my favorite is the one in Chapter 10, where Harry meets Olly under the bleachers shortly after her parents died. I feel like it really showed a lot of both Harry and Olly's character, and the darkness that had begun to spread in them even as they tried to offer each other support. There also was a good bit of foreshadowing of Harry as the New Goblin in that chapter, which I put a lot of thought into.

[squarebracket-trickster]

so, the bad news was, shortly after deciding I was going to write, the following four things happened:

Mom asked me to rip up a very long piece of packing paper and roll it into teeny balls (for the worms)

Mom asked me to help her cover her blueberry plants (her latest tactic in the War v The irds)

Dinner was ready

A FUCKING WINDOWS UPDATE FUCKED UP MY COMPUTER WHY WAS THE CONTEXT MENU POPPING UP EVERY .5 SECONDS AND MAKING IT IMPOSSIBLE TO DO ANYTHING GAH

the good news is:

I fixed my computer. (If anyone (or future me) ever has a similar issue on a Windows 11 Surface Pro try: Win + X -> Device Manager -> Keyboards -> Surface Type Cover (I think) -> uninstall -> reboot computer (this will reinstall it, hopefully uncorrupted this time - though when mine reinstalled it was just renamed to another HID Keyboard Device).

I managed to write 165 words before I was inevitably sidetracked.

I am experiencing a sudden burst of energy (took a massive swig of my liquid iron supplement), so I shall try to write more.

I am exhausted as all fuck right now (the chronic fatigue is kicking my ass). But I am going to try to write anyway. It's been too long since I last added to my manuscript and my brain is getting itchy. (You know, that kind of itch that's like: there are too many thoughts inside you right now and you need to get them out. But also, the itch that's like: at this rate you'll never finish this draft, you need to work on it now. And also, the itch that's like: look at all the amazing things other people are creating, doesn't this fill you with yearning? - that could be your stuff *ahem*.)

I have like 10 million better things I could be doing right now, but I've spend the past few weeks not writing when I wanted to because I was doing those 10 million other things. So sorry, life responsibilities, but you'll have to wait. Besides the only thing I actually have the energy for right now is scrolling on my phone. Which. I have done enough of today. If I have to look at one more TikTok I swear to god

Normally, I don't like to write unless I have the energy to make it good, but at this point I don't care. The other night, overcome with an urge to write something, anything, I just started typing without thinking too hard, and it was actually decent when I reread it a few days later.

All that is to say, the exercise has filled me with hubris for what I can accomplish while in the midst of a fatigue flare.

Alas, writing sesh goal for today:

I'm starting with 50755 words (not including whatever I've done of the OOB scene). Idk what percent of /80 000 that is. I have exactly 2500 words worth of second draft (and OOB scene) that I had pasted into my 3rd draft ages ago so I could rework them, which I started doing but have yet to finish.

Today's word goal is not a percent or a number, it's just to finally get rid of those second draft scenes (and be all caught up to the OOB scene). I am tired of not being able just to use the word count meter at the bottom of my doc without having to do math.

And remember, Square: just fill in the missing worldbuilding, description, names, continuity etc. Cut out anything that doesn't need to be there. You can monkey around with the pacing and line edits if you see an easy fix, but no. perfectionism. no. If the sentence doesn't come to you within a minute, leave it. That's what draft 4 is for (that's future me's problem hehe).

--

Oh, the other good news is that I just had a shower and my hair is very soft, so soft. you have no idea. peasants

[mav-the-artist]

EXCITING NEWS!!!!!! (IMPORTANT PLEASE READ)

Hey everyone! Sorry for not posting art for a bit.

Last Monday (Jan 30th) I finally purchased A GAMING DESKTOP!!!

Now I can draw better, ACTUALLY animate with an animation program (once I find a good one to use), get back into pc gaming, and STREAM (eventually)

ALL this time I was drawing and animating with this hunk of crap:

This is a TOSHIBA Satellite 17 inch Windows 7 Laptop.

Windows 7.

That I've been using since 2012.

As a whole, this computer is an absolute piece of shit.

It's on life support (plugged in charger when running at all times). It cannot multitask. You can't even play music in the background while drawing. AND I couldn't even use discord. Any program idling in the background would slow it down and heat it up. Video card would crash when watching youtube. Flash games would load 1 frame every 3 seconds. That is not an exaggeration. I'm lucky that my Wacom tablet worked on it, but that probably was gonna go next. There's a lot more wrong with this laptop, but you get the gist.

NOW:

I've been doing really REALLY well lately in my life (you can read this post for context). And I've been eagerly wanting to upgrade. So my tax refund came in a couple weeks ago and I had found a desktop that was within my budget.

This...is my new rig:

(these are just still photos; the tower, mouse and keyboard are actually cycling through all colors of the rainbow)

This is an iBUYPOWER Trace MR258i . Now don't be fooled like I was with the company's Aliexpress-sounding name, lol; this is a reputable gaming pc company. I picked it up for $1080, including tax (it includes the mouse and keyboard, not the monitor). Originally it retails at $1500 before taxes, but it was on sale for $1000. Now this is definitely not a high-end rig, but it is a fucking amazing computer nonetheless.

Under the hood:

Mobo: ASRock B550M-c microATX form factor Video card: Gigabyte Nvidia Geforce RTX 3060 12GB Drive: 1TB Western Digital NvMe M.2 SSD (Solid State Drive) RAM: 16GB (2x8GB sticks) DDR4 3000 Power supply: 650 watt CPU: AMD Ryzen 7 5700 3700Mhz

Operating System: Windows 11 Home

One side of the case is made with a tempered glass panel, so I can see all the cool compy parts with RGB; it's lookin like a rave in there :D

When playing GTAV at High settings I get around 160fps.

I'm not terribly picky, plus I'm still learning about pc parts 'n stuff, but this computer is definitely beyond my expectations and can handle everything I throw at it. It's perfect for what I need to use it for.

WHAT THIS MEANS NOW:

I can draw much easier, on larger canvases, and they can get done somewhat faster now that I have a properly working pc. I can also draw better art with backgrounds and all that.

I PLAN ON ANIMATING WITH A LEGITIMATE ANIMATION PROGRAM. MAYBE EVEN AN ACTUAL MADCOM FAN EPISODE.

STREAMING (SOON)

GAMING (of course)

I've never seen my art program run so smooth. My drawing tablet works with the new PC, and lines are really fucking smooth and there's zero lag nor jittering.

The past week since I've gotten it, I've had to transfer all my stuff from my old laptop to this new one, setting the new pc up, downloading games, etc etc. AKA I've been busy af the past week, not including my retail job that's been kicking my ass.

I just wanted to make this post so you all can be updated on what the hiatus was all about.

ANYWAY I'M SO FUCKING HYPED Y'ALL LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO-

[20dollarlolita]

Today at work:

Context A: Most products sold by my store are in-store only, and the company does allow them to be sold online.

Context B: My store is not a dealer. We're corporate-owned. This means that sometimes a customer who was a problem for an independently-owned dealer store will reach out to Customer Care, and Customer Care will forward them to us. Our actions/policies/behavior is a lot easier to predict than an independent dealer.

Context C: Due to the general weirdness of my store, we're currently open till 9pm a few nights a week. We've only got a few employees so we have to close early on my days off, and we make up for those hours on weekend nights.

It's 8:05pm, PST. I get a phone call from a guy who says Customer Care said to call us to buy a specific software that we only sell in store. He bought his wife a new computer and their old software doesn't run Windows 11. I've never sold a software upgrade and told him that he'd have to wait while I learned, or call back tomorrow and talk to someone who knows how. He's very cheerful and says he'll wait, because he wants this done tonight.

We don't normally sell stuff like this on the phone, but if Customer Care says to do it, I do it. That's what we get for being a corporate store.

It's like 35 minutes on the phone with this guy while I learn how to upgrade to the new version. Eventually, I'm entering his info in the computer for taking payment. I get his zip code, and he's in Virginia. I ask him if he knows he called California.

He called my store specifically because it was the first one on Google Maps that was still open. It was almost midnight where he was. He wanted his software today, and he found a way to get it. He was so excited about how clever he was to think of this, and it was the most adorable thing.

I don't know if I'm allowed to do sales across state lines, but Customer Care told him to call me and so I do what Customer Care wants. It's just part of being a corporate store. The guy got his wife her software.

[blazehedgehog]

I can't help but feel a sense of frustration with Windows 11. I like, *just* spent nearly $1,000 in PC upgrades, now I need to find a TPM chip (something most custom built PCs never even think of) and get this new OS? Wasn't the whole sales pitch of Win10 that, it was like, the "last version" of Windows? That they would just update it forever like Apple does with the MacOSx?

Yep, Windows 10 was pitched as "the last version of Windows." Which, I mean, of course that was never going to be true, no matter what they said. It's like killing off Superman. You know it's not going to last. It'll be a time bullet, or he got lost in the multiverse, or he'll simply will himself back to life. Microsoft would never say "Okay! You can stop giving us money forever now."

Apple at least has hardware sales. There may not have been a major revision to MacOS in a long time, but they're always debuting new systems to run it. Microsoft doesn't do that. You either buy a PC from someone like iBuyPower or whoever, or you build it yourself out of raw components. It's the opposite with Apple. Only Apple sells Apple hardware. That's where they make up the difference, because brand new Apple hardware is $1200.

This isn't to say I'm in favor of Windows 11. I'm actually a bit annoyed that it's basically just "Windows 10 Service Pack 5" or whatever under a new name. There's a lot they're doing wrong and they're kind of burning bridges by saying Windows 10 was just a marketing gimmick. More people in the press should be holding their feet to the fire on that just a little bit more, even if few people took them seriously when they said "Windows 10 will be the last."

That being said, if you just built your PC, it sounds like the TPM stuff might not be as big of an issue. BleepingComputer has an article about what's actually required for Windows 11. If you don't have a TPM chip, you might be able to enable a type of TPM 2 emulation in your motherboard's firmware, and at least for now, Windows 11 has ways to just outright bypass the TPM check during install. It's messy, but it works for the time being.

Honestly, this is the first I'm hearing of the TPM stuff at all, so in the context of me daydream shopping for new computer parts a week or two ago, it's definitely something to keep in mind for the future, I guess. Microsoft's always been kind of obnoxious with this sort of stuff; I remember a lot of people shouting doom and gloom over Windows Palladium. Palladium (later "NGSCB") probably laid the groundwork for this TPM 2.0 chip stuff they're going to try enforcing for Windows 11. Honestly, a lot of it is over my head.

It's dumb and annoying to be sure, but hopefully the motherboard you have was future-proofed enough. Otherwise I'd expect a lot more angry people out there instead of the relative silence I've heard on the issue until now.

[jippy-kandi]

Digimon Adventure: 2020 – Episode 1: Tokyo: Digital Crisis! (Review)

Thoughts on the first episode of the Digimon Adventure reboot series.

Disclaimer: I just want to make it clear that I’m watching and reviewing Digimon Adventure: 2020 in the context of it being a children’s anime -- because that’s what it is. By design, it’s obviously going to be “dumb” to the mind of the average adult. But that’s OK, because it’s for kids. And for a first episode aimed at children? It was pretty good.

The opening credits were 99% Taichi and I don’t like it if it’s permanently going to be this way. But I’m hoping that it will change to perhaps be character-centric to the person being “highlighted” in a particular episode, going through all eight kids, until there’s a permanent one where all eight are equally in it. I also hope the same for the ending credits.

I noticed that Angemon and Angewomon were missing from the opening credits, whereas the other digimon evolutions are shown. So I assume they’re following in OG Adventure’s footsteps and doing the whole “special angel” evolution reveal? I’m OK with that. It seems really interesting how they’re setting up Takeru and Hikari to be included this time (as they were both missing in the ending credits with the other five standing opposite Yamato . . .).

Both the opening and ending songs are fine, but I prefer the original songs, especially Butter-Fly. You are missed, Kouji Wada. <3

The art and animation of this series is really good. Toei Animation are really putting money into this series. I’m impressed.

I have mixed feelings about how they chose to introduce the characters. On the one hand, I think utilising just two characters is great to really highlight them to the audience and not overwhelm them with too much information. But on the other hand . . . I think introducing all eight characters in the first episode would make it appeal to more kids, because they can easily identify with one kid and keep watching the series. But a kid might watch this first episode, not like Taichi or Koushirou, and just switch off from the series completely. But I think what they went for is probably best for how they plan to introduce the characters (particularly regarding what they have in store for Yamato being a lone wolf who joins them later).

Taichi was a bit too generic to me. But, it’s only the first episode, so this isn’t a real criticism -- I’m sure he’ll be fleshed out as the series progresses. He also seems more responsible than OG Taichi. And while I do like his new voice, I think Toshiko Fujita was a lot better; she managed to convey more personality in her voice.

Koushirou was actually quite “cute”. But I’m not sure I totally like that he’s being portrayed as shy . . . he never seemed shy to me in the original series, but just a kid who was super absorbed in his own tech world. But his shyness did make him more endearing? I’m just not used to it so I find it a bit unsettling. But it does “humanise” him more and thus makes him more relatable, rather than just a distant tech nerd, so I guess it’s a positive? I also really like his voice.

I am liking the Taichi/Koushirou friendship a lot. You can tell Koushirou is going to completely idolise Taichi for making him feel included and “useful”. And let’s be real: Koushirou has always been the most underrated character when it comes to popularity, relative to actual impact on the plot, because he’s actually the one who solves almost everything and he doesn’t get nearly as much credit for it as he deserves in the fandom. It’s nice that they’ve spotlighted him with Taichi in this episode.

So apparently Mimi’s family owns a conglomerate because they made both Koushirou’s tablet computer and Takeru’s hat? I always thought the weird “TK” scrawled on his hat was for his name (TaKeru or T.K.), but apparently it’s for TachiKawa! Wow, Mimi is insanely rich this time around (moreso than the first). Princess indeed!

Takeru’s design is so freaking adorable. I still think his clothes are a bit off, but his face is so adorable! And I didn’t really think that of OG Takeru. I mean . . . I guess he was kind of adorable, but not overwhelmingly so like this one! He hasn’t said one line but, OMG, the cuteness. *SQUISH*

Did anyone notice that in Takeru’s room, there is a poster of an ASTRONAUT? OMG I loved that! What a nice throwback to Yamato’s future career in OG Adventure (and thus to the 02 epilogue!). I can imagine reboot Yamato idolising astronauts and influencing Takeru into liking them, too. Awesome Easter egg there!

So the Crests are showing up right from the start. No rehash of finding the Tags and Crests, then! (Or will they find the physical forms later?) I really like how different from OG Adventure it already is, while keeping touches of the old as well. Toei have done a good job with mixing the old and new so far. Keep it up!

I thought Taichi’s meeting with Agumon was super cute and quite “realistic” with Taichi reaching his hand out to “pet” Agumon! Though Taichi is obviously more courageous than the average person, because uh, I would be afraid that dino would bite my hand off, lol.

I thought Agumon’s evolution “sequence” to Greymon was really cool, but at the same time, I did miss an actual evolution sequence like the OG one. It’s probably just nostalgia making me feel that way. I can accept this new version though! It feels very “updated”.

It was very fast-paced compared to OG Adventure. I’m not sure I entirely like that Agumon evolved so easily and so quickly to Greymon in the very first episode, but it also didn’t seem to hinder the episode. But where do they go from here? What do they have planned to pad out this series if things happen so quickly? I’m intrigued to find out!

Oh, remember how I said less than 24 hours ago that I might not even like reboot Yamato? Yeah, well . . . throw that idea out the window, because the dude had two seconds at the end of this episode and HE ALREADY WON ME OVER lmao. He had NO LINES and was still the highlight of the episode for me. My attachment to him is insane. (Of course, I’m hoping he doesn’t turn out to be a super douche, lol.) I like that he was “chosen” before Taichi and was in the Network before him. What have you been up to in there, Yamato?

While I LOVED the ending credits, as I said before, I hope it changes to be central for each specific character (going through all eight kids), before there is a permanent main ending that includes all the characters equally. I really don’t like how Toei Animation seems to forget that there are EIGHT CHARACTERS and not just two. Come on, Toei, do the right thing!

But . . . let’s talk about the ending credits. IT WAS AMAZING. It characterised Yamato so much without him saying a word. I love that he’s still a lone wolf, that music is still a big part of his life (a bass at 11!), and that his love for Takeru is still so genuine. There was also a pivotal scene where it shows Jou, Mimi, Taichi, Sora and Koushirou standing together, and Taichi smiles at Yamato, who hesitantly steps forward to join them. I loved that! It made me think about the discarded plot where “Yamato might’ve separated from the group entirely” -- it seems like this is a reverse version and I can’t wait to see it play out. The scene that inspired that discarded plot idea was when Yamato decides to fight Taichi, and Sora yells at him to stop -- and I just loved her reactions to him throughout that arc. Especially because, if Taichi had turned on the group, I think Sora’s first instinct would be to conk him over the head -- but she gives Yamato a massive pass and then supports him to separate from the group to find himself. My Sorato thoughts are already swirling about how Sora will react to Yamato in this reboot! Will she hate him at first? Will she ask him to join? Oh my, they haven’t even interacted in this reboot and I’m already shipping them, lmao. I hope Sorato still have a connection in this reboot!

Overall, I liked it for a children’s anime. And I never would have watched it if it wasn’t a reboot with the original Adventure cast, as I have only seen a few episodes of Tamers, Frontier and Savers . . . and a few seconds where Yamato shows up in Xros Wars, lol. I’m not interested in Digimon, I’m interested in the Adventure cast. So I’m really glad this reboot exists! I’ll happily watch all episodes of this series because it’s more of my kids goddamnit. XD

Oh, and I just want to apologise that even though the episode was focussed on Taichi and Koushirou, I used screenshots of Yamato and Sora for the episode post . . . I’m sorry, I’m a Sorato blog! XD;

I think I will do a weekly Digimon Adventure: 2020 “review”, because the episodes are only 20-ish minutes long and it’s easy enough to consume and write about. And even if I might not have a lot to say about a particular episode, I can still spam Sorato screenshots, lol. :P

I can’t wait for the next episode! Because: YAMATO. <3

[softwarmboy]

1. Selfie

2. What would you name your future kids?

I really like the name Damon! And Grace

3. Do you miss anyone?

Always

4. What are you looking forward to?

My name and gender marker documents going through!!! (Hopefully) my trip to London in the fall!!! My second dose of the vaccine! Seeing my little sister again! New tattoos!!

5. Is there anyone who can always make you smile?

Absolutely, I have a few close friends who can always get me smiling again

6. Is it hard for you to get over someone?

Unfortunately for me, yes, very ;-; Im a very emotional person and feel things very strongly

7. What was your life like last year?

Living on the coast, working construction, and that was about it

8. Have you ever cried because you were so annoyed

Yes 😂😂😂 mostly over math

9. Who did you last see in person

My friend Shannon!!!

10. Are you good at hiding your feelings

Yes and no, if I’m upset/irritated/sad it’ll show on my face whether I want it to or not, BUT I’m pretty good as passing it off as something else if I want. Not a whole lot of people can tell when im doing that, if anyone at all

11. Are you listening to music right now?

Of course!! Im listening to When The Darkness Comes by Colbie Caillat

12. What is something you want right now?

Food 😂😂😂

13. How do you feel right now?

Sore and tired

14. When was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you

Yesterday!! My friend was having a rough day and was kinda snarky with me and gave me a hug and an apology after she calmed down

15. Personality description

Full of dad jokes, puns, sass, caffeine and smart ass replies at all times 😂 very direct/straightforward, and have little to no patience for beating around the bush, in any context

16. Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t

Oh god yeah, growing up I never told anyone anything, ever

17. Opinion on insecurities

We all have them, if you’re the kinda person who zeroes in on someone else’s, for any reason, I feel sorry for you but also have absolutely no patience or respect for you

18. Do you miss how things were a year ago?

Nooooooooo, I wasn’t very happy. I wasn’t unhappy necessarily but 🤷🏻‍♂️ still no, hard pass

19. Have you ever been to New York

Nope! It’s on my travel list tho

20. What is your favourite song at the moment

At the moment??? The Colbie Caillat song i mentioned above!

21. Age and birthday?

23, and December 16th!

22. Description of crush

No thanks 😂

23. Fear(s)

Oh man, spiders, wasps, escalators (I have no idea why, don’t ask 😂😂) and aggressive men

24. Height

5’9!

25. Role model

As cliche as it is, I mean it when I say my momma

26. Idol(s)

I don’t really??? Have any????

27. Things I hate

Mushrooms and olives 😂 but in all seriousness, people who are rude to retail/customer service employees or servers, people who don’t use turn signals or say please, thank you and excuse me, the sound of styrofoam (it’s a sensory thing for me)

28. I’ll love you if-

You’ll play video games with me or will try them or any books/music I suggest, notice the little things about me

29. Favourite film(s)

The Mortal Instruments!!!!

30. Favourite tv show(s)

Gilmore Girls, The Vampire Diaries, Supernatural, Lucifer, Stranger Things, The Witcher, Firefly

31. 3 random facts

Your feet are the same length as your forearm! A whale dick is called a dork (if I remember correctly) and I can’t think of a third

32. Are your friends mainly guys or girls?

Girls mostly! I don’t have much in common with many guys 🤷🏻‍♂️ that and I just feel more comfortable around girls

33. Something you want to learn?

Sword fighting!!!! That’d be so cool

34. Most embarrassing moment

I have so many 😂😂😂 I’m a clumsy bastard, but I’ll go with my most recent for now- I saw a cute dog hanging his head out a car window and said hi without realizing there was someone in the passenger seat with their window down 😂😂

35. Favourite subject

Anything compute related!!

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill

Go to Italy, get married, see the northern lights!!!

37. Favourite actor/actress

Melissa McCarthy 😂😂

38. Favourite comedian(s)

John Mulaney, Taylor Tomlinson, Gabriel Iglesias, and Iliza Shlesinger!!

39. Favourite sport(s)

Hockey I guess 🤷🏻‍♂️

40. Favourite memory

Just one??? Hmmmmm….singing Party In The USA with my friends after we’d been inhaling helium 😂

41. Relationship status

Single 😂😂😭

42. Favourite book(s)

The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare, The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini, The Selection by Kiera Cass, and the Nightshade trilogy by Andrea Cremer

43. Favourite song ever

Ever???? Oh man that’s a tough one, maybe Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day???

44. Age you get mistaken for

17/18 😂😂😂so many of the teenagers at work don’t believe me when I say I’m in my 20’s. One of the kids in produce absolutely refused to believe I’m older than him

45. How you found out about your idol

N/A

46. What my last text message says

“I know you are”

47. Turn ons

Light nail scratches, is really all I can think of lately 🤷🏻‍♂️ I haven’t had that conversation with someone in quite some time

48. Turn offs

Being non consensually bossy, treating me like an object, daddy/mommy kinks

49. Where I want to be right now

London maybe! I’m really excited to go

50. Favourite picture of your idol

N/A

51. Starsign

Sagittarius!

52. Something I’m talented at

Teaching myself instruments! I’ve taught myself 3 so far! It’s always been something I’ve been able to pick up really quickly

53. 5 things that make me happy

Music, love in any form, snuggles, drives with my favourite people, my favourite comfort foods

54. Something that’s worrying me at the moment

My name and gender marker documents

55. Tumblr friends

God I don’t remember anyone’s URL’s anymore 😂😂 but I have a fair amount! I talk to 99% of them on other platforms now so 🤷🏻‍♂️

56. Favourite food(s)

Nachos, mashed potatoes, any sort of cheesy/creamy pasta! Grilled cheese, grilled salmon roll, and really any form of potatoes actually

57. Favourite animal(s)

Wolves are my absolute favourite

58. Description of my best friend

Curly brown (it looks brown to me 😂 I know you’ll come at me for this when you see it) hair, blue eyes, the gayest fashion sense, practical, will always tell me when I need to pull my head outta my ass 😂💚

59. Why I joined Tumblr

I wanted a safe space to explore things like mental health, transitioning and a few other things!

60. Ask me anything you want

Self explanatory, have at ‘er

[zandracourt]

Steve’s Playlist

Written for @the-sad-hatter’s Weird and Wonderful Challenge. This is the first fic I’ve written with a first person narrator. I tried to write it fully as an inserted reader, but that was just too weird for me, so I tried to make the first person as neutral as I could.

Prompt 26: I Put a Spell on You, Nina Simone

Steve’s Playlist

 Rated T/PG

It’s a few minutes before 1700 and Director Fury shouts my name as I turn off the light in my cubicle. 

“Agent, before you leave, can you take this to Rogers?”

I swallow hard, trying to play it cool. “Captain Rogers?” As if there is another one. Well, there is a Rogers down in accounting but I’m pretty sure the Director has no idea he even exists. He barely knows I exist. Though he did call me by name, so maybe it’s not a good idea to underestimate the Director’s pulse on the plebes of S.H.I.E.L.D.

“Yes, that one.” Bingo “Do you know where his office is, on the 3rd floor?” Everyone knew the Captain had chosen an office across from the hanger bay. It faced the interior of the Triskelion, meaning its window looked out mostly on the walls of the other two buildings; nothing but concrete and glass. It was the kind of office some middle manager would have, not the leader of the Avengers. But the Captain liked being close to the hanger, often eating lunch in the Machinists Lounge with the ground crew. 

“I do. Just that then?” I held out my hand towards him.

He passed me a 11”x 17” Manila envelope, about an inch thick. “That’s all. Good night.” He turns away before I can wish him a good night back. 

As I get off the elevator, I can hear the steep trumpet crescendo of the opening stanzas of Sir Duke playing. Normally, the halls are quiet, but someone must be using the after-hours nature of their work to play music. S.H.I.E.L.D. rules prohibit connecting to any streaming services on company computers, so whoever it is has brought in speakers and must be playing it off their personal phone.  Turning down the hall brings the music even louder. 

Music is a world within itself, it’s a language we all understand, with an equal opportunity to sing and dance and clap your hands.

Stevie Wonder’s distinctive rhythm filled my ears, getting louder as I walked.  My mom used to play this song on her Hits of the ‘70’s CD. You can feel it all over. You can feel it all over, people!

By the time I round the corner to the inverted half-circle that makes up the interior of the uniquely shaped office complex, the source of the the music becomes obvious. It’s pretty loud now and I can see him standing at his elevated computer desk, his feet stepping in time to the music as he types that is rather adorable, but I tamp such thoughts down hard. This is Captain America for fucks sake. My knock clearly gives him a slight startle and I feel bad.

“Oh, hey.” He reaches over quickly and taps pause on his phone.

“You don’t have to stop on my account. I was told to bring you this.” I hold the envelope out for him, still standing just outside the doorway like a dumb-ass. It’s just an office, but it’s an Avenger office, which feels more sacred. 

Steve chuckles, “There’s no magic force field there you know. You can come in.”

Crossing the threshold, I can’t help but look around. He keeps his office pretty sparse. There’s a whiteboard on one wall and to the left of his desk, a framed picture of what looks like Benjamin Franklin holding a large balance scale with an old-time baseball player standing on half. Over the top of the players’ images are the words “Brooklyn Dodgers” on the left and “New York Yankees” on the right. Looking closer, you can see it’s from the 1941 World Series.

“Whoa, is that original?” 

He raises his eyebrows and whistles slightly. “Man, I wish. No, it’s a replica poster. But I had the playbook from that series. Went to every game and managed to get signatures on it from everyone but Riggs and Frank. I’d left it at my mom’s place when I enlisted but now it’s lost to time. If it survived, I’m sure it’s in some collector’s wall safe by now. You follow baseball?”

I shrug. “Not like that. I’m always up for a Nationals game if I get a chance. There is an energy watching live games that I enjoy, especially with good friends. But I don’t ever watch on TV.”

He nods. “TV wasn’t an option when I was a kid, just radio. But I agree with you. I still listen to games sometimes, but I don’t like watching them on TV. ‘Course, they aren’t in Brooklyn anymore, so they aren’t my Dodgers anyway.”

I looked down at the only picture on his desk. It’s a plain, pine framed image of three people sitting in what might be a large restaurant booth, but it’s hard to tell. They look happy, and maybe a little drunk. The woman I recognize immediately because her portrait hangs in the main foyer. Margaret Carter, one of the founders of S.H.I.E.L.D., though she’s much younger in his picture. The other two men I don’t know, though one is kind of familiar. “That’s Director Carter, right?” I ask, pointing at it.

Steve picks it up and hands it to me for a closer look. “Yeah. Spring 1944. Peggy. Howard. Bucky.” He points to each face. “That was taken at this restaurant Howard knew. No matter where we were, he knew the best places to go that hadn’t been bombed or raided and every waitress knew him by name.”

Now I knew why the man in the middle was familiar. His picture hung downstairs next to Director Carter’s, but he looks so good this picture. Now that I’ve made the connection, I can see the Stark resemblance.  

“Woah, Mr. Stark didn’t age real well.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them and I wanted desperately to take them back. “I’m so sorry. That was...sorry.” 

My stomach clenches and temples throb with embarrassment. Who the fuck am I to criticize his friends? These people are portraits on a wall to me, but to him, they were drinking buddies. Best friends. The heat of my emotions races under my skin and I can’t bring myself to look him in the eye.

“It’s OK.” He takes the photo back, looking at it as he speaks. “Howard was so full of life and playful energy when I knew him. From what I understand, that changed as he got older. This is my memory of him though. And I’m glad I have it.”

His words shift my embarrassment to shame. “I’m glad you have it too. Can I ask...” He places the picture down and looks at me with such kind eyes I continue. “Where did you find it? I mean, it’s more personal than any S.H.I.E.L.D. photo I’ve seen and you said your stuff didn’t seem to stick around.” I was trying to cover my embarrassment with curiosity, seeking some neutral ground again.

“Tony gave it to me. I shot the photo, but I’d never seen how it turned out.” 

I’d heard that he and Iron Man didn’t always get along. Mostly gossip about how they bicker and would annoy the agents waiting to deploy on an op, so the Director had stopped sending them to the same places if he could help it. In this moment though, it was clear that Tony was a strong conduit to Steve’s past and it was hard to ignore the wave of loneliness that rolled off him. “It’s a great one. They look so happy.” He nods, continuing to look at it. I don’t want to step on his reminiscence so I turn to leave him to his thoughts. 

“Agent?” I stop and pivot just a little towards him. “The envelope?” I realize it’s still tucked under my arm and I look towards the ceiling in a desperate plea for The Powers of All to save me from any more stupid moves in front of this man ever again. 

“Right, sorry.” I say, hoping some old-time stage hook will just come drag me away.

“Thanks. And you don’t need to apologize all the time. You work here, same as me. You have as much right to be in this office as I do.”

O, Captain, that is not at all true. Thankfully, my brain stops my running mouth before I straight up contradict a superior, though I appreciate that he wants that to be true. “Good night, Captain.”

“Good night.” As I leave the office, the music starts again; this time playing playing Earth, Wind, and Fire’s September.

******

In any other context, I might object to being tasked as Director Fury’s delivery person with ever increasing regularity, since I’m an analyst, not a messenger. However, the only person he sends me to is Captain Rogers, so how can I complain? Yeah, he’s the 8th level of Dante’s Inferno kind of hot, but these end-of-work assignments have let me see Steve Rogers for who he is, not just a magazine cover story. Most of our conversations only last 4 or 5 minutes, but they are the best part of any day they happen. He’ll ask about my work and genuinely seems interested the data analysis I do. I don’t ask him about the rumors of missions he goes on because my security clearance is slightly above the kid who delivers our sandwiches at lunch time so I stick to topics of life outside of work. Surprisingly, he never seems to hold back personal stories. Especially ones of his past. Something extremely rare in this building. 

Every time the elevator doors open on the third floor after 1700, I can hear the music play. Marvin Gaye, Earth, Wind, and Fire, Aretha Franklin, Al Green, Otis Redding, Stevie Wonder, ...he definitely has a specific taste for 60′s & 70’s R&B. Today as I approach, the song plays slow and melancholy. 

You know I can’t stand it. Your running around. You know better, daddy. I can’t stand it, ‘cause you put me down. Yeah, yeah. I put a spell on you, because you’re mine.

Something made me stop just outside his office this time, listening. I can see him sitting with his arm resting on his desk, playing with a metal coin of some kind while looking out the window. The coin is bigger than any currency I’ve seen, and thicker, like a medal or medallion. He idly flips it through his fingers, lost in thought as the trumpet plays a jazz rift.

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you anyhow. And I don’t care if you don’t want me, I’m yours anyhow. I put a spell on you, because you’re mine.

A deep, mournful scatting ends the song so I knock lightly, knowing I’m interrupting something. He turns his head a little and nods, so I enter. As I get closer, I see wetness in his eyes. Not falling, just holding a firm tension at the edge of his lids.

“You OK, Sir?”

He sits up a little and shifts his chair so he’s fully turned towards me from behind his desk. “No need to call me Sir. And yeah, I’m fine.” He taps the coin on the desk and lays it down as he reaches over and pauses the playlist, which had shuffled to Bring It on Home to Me by Sam Cooke. 

“Please. Sit and talk to me for bit.”

This is the first time he’s asked me to sit during one of these after-work deliveries, making me wonder if he really is OK. “I’m sorry for interrupting, I just needed to bring you this.” I slid the folder with the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo on the front towards him. This one wasn’t classified, or I never would have been asked to bring it in an open file folder.

“You really gotta stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault or responsibility. You’re here because you were ordered to by Fury.”

“I don’t mind, really.” 

“Well, it’s not exactly in your job description to bring me files. It’s probably my fault you keep getting asked. After the first time, I was talking to Nick about the information you’d given me and I told him that I enjoyed talking to you.”

My ears feel warm at the compliment. “I enjoy talking to you too.” This feels so awkwardly intimate that I have to shift gears to ease my nervousness. “What is that?” I point to the coin.

He hands it over. It’s about an inch and half in diameter; punched brass in deep relief. The edges are slightly worn down but readable. The words “107th Infantry” along run along the outer edge with two crossed rifles in the center. 

“It’s a Challenge Coin. They became a thing with the OSS during the war, but after all they’d been through with Hydra, the 107th felt they deserved them too. So the junior officers had their own made.”

“Was that your unit?” I wished I recalled more from 10th grade history class.

“Not exactly. I was kind of my own unit, but I ran missions with the 107th and a few others once the Howling Commandos came together. That,” he gestures to the coin in my hand, “was Bucky’s.” 

I glance at the photo on the desk. After our first encounter, I’d Googled Bucky Barnes so I wouldn’t make any more asshole remarks about his friends and learned he’d been a Sergeant in the 107th. “Wasn’t he enlisted though?”

Steve raised an eyebrow.”You’ve been researching. Yeah, but he was also very good at placing bets he knew he wouldn’t lose. Won it off an LT we both didn’t like very much.”

Remembering his other stories of items lost to the past, I ask, “However did you find it?”

“Never lost it. The night before the mission where...” He paused and took a breath, “before he died, Buck had given it to me. It was still in my uniform pocket when they thawed me out.”

The question floated in the silence and I wasn’t sure if it was one he wanted me to ask or not. In all our conversations, he was profoundly honest, and he’d brought it up, so that seemed like a green light.

“Why did he give it to you?”

“I’ve thought about that over and over since the day he fell. At first, I thought maybe he knew somehow...that he wouldn’t make it back. In the years since... it seems more of a promise. Not sure what he was promising exactly, but that feels more right to me. Bucky never believed a mission would fail, so it makes no sense for him to give to me as a goodbye.”

“And that song? The one playing before I came in? I know it’s an oldie, but I didn’t think it went back to the ‘40s.”

He chuckled. “What’re talking about? To me, Nina Simone’s a baby.”

“That was a woman singing?” I’d heard of Nina Simone, but realized I didn’t know which songs she was famous for. 

“Yeah. Don’t you just love her voice?”

“She’s amazing.” I agree. “You listen to the blues a lot, I’ve noticed. Doesn’t that make you sad?”

“You think my music is sad?” He asks, not accusing, but with genuine interest. 

“Well, isn’t that what the Blues are? Songs for when you’re feeling down?”

“I read a quote once by Etta James, ‘When I’m singing blues, I’m singing life.’ I know a lot of folks around here think my life is sad; ‘cause of what I lost. And there are times I am. But when I listen to the blues, I don’t even think about the time since I woke up. I think about times before. Brooklyn. My mom. Breadlines around the block. Not enough coal to keep the room warm. Bucky. The War.  These songs, they feel like mine, even if it’s music from a later generation. Ya gotta listen to them with your heart. They aren’t sad at all really, just honest. The blues is life. Thanks for this.” He slid the folder over and placed it in his in-box. 

I hand the coin back to him and he places it in the front pocket of his cargo pants. “You’re welcome. Thanks for sharing. I always learn something when we talk.” I stand up to leave. 

“You’re easy to talk to. That’s a real gift. You ever thought of field work?”

I shake my head firmly. “No way. I learned real fast in academy that I’m as likely to shoot you or the wall as any target. I suck at firearms.” He laughs and bestows on me smile that reminds me why everyone loves him. “I like the work I do and I think I’m pretty good at it.”

“Gotta love someone who knows their strengths and weaknesses. You don’t have to limit your visits to delivering Nick’s paperwork, y’know. Come by anytime.”

I nod. “G’night Captain.”

“Good-night.” He’d touched the music back on before I’d even turned around. 

If you ever change your mind about leaving, leaving me behind, Oh baby, bring it to me 

The lyrics followed me out the door and down the hall as I pulled out my phone to start making a new Spotify list.