#contractually yours

[kxsagi]

Hello! Super impressed with how much you’re able to write so often and I hope you continue having fun doing it/ don’t get burnt out! Would it be possible to request a scenario about a reader who’s dating isagi (and has for awhile since before blue lock) but is from an affluent family who wants them to get engaged for family political reasons. They later decide to temporarily get engaged to reo to help cover up both of their relationships (reader and isagi and reo and nagi) and kind of become besties through it. For a one shot/ scenario maybe have them judging other people at a fancy dinner (or if head canons on the general idea would also be great - whatever is easier) thank you!!

“𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬”

a/n: hi and thank you so much!!!

rich reader x longtime boyfriend isagi x fake fiancée reo that has a secret relationship with nagi? this request was very specific lol, so i’m sorry if i got anything wrong! (i did make all 4 four of them besties from the start to make the writing a little easier, they become even better best friends throughout the engagement drama)

for later context, isagi is invited to the dinner party because he is now a pro soccer player after his achievements in blue lock. i also threw in some gay nagireo in there cuz why not they’re gay anyways 

you’ve been with isagi since before blue lock, since his hair was messier, his dreams quieter, and your family's expectations a little easier to ignore. back when being together meant holding hands behind the school and sneaking into your driver’s car after games. he’s always made you feel like a person, not a pawn. which is exactly why you can’t let your family know about him. 

not when they’re talking about engagements like they’re business mergers. 

your father puts down his wine glass at a family dinner and says, “we’ve had interest from the mikage family, you know. a strategic partnership could benefit both parties.” 

you blink. “you mean like… i get stock options? or i get married?” 

your mother’s smile is tight. “don’t be crass, sweetheart. you’d get both.” 

and just like that, you're being politically packaged like a luxury handbag. 

you don’t even panic. not really. you just call reo the next day and say, “wanna fake an engagement to avoid being sold off like cattle?” 

he hums. “sure. nagi thinks it’s funny.” 

you smile. “isagi said it’s either this or he beats up your dad. so i guess we’re going with this.” 

thus begins the most fabulous scam of your life. 

it’s about a month into the fake engagement when the dinner party happens, one of those rich people breeding grounds where everyone wears cream-colored suits and says things like “let’s circle back” when they mean “go away.” 

you’re seated next to reo, who looks like he just walked off a magazine cover, because of course he does. your parents are three seats away. nagi is conveniently not invited. and isagi is somewhere across the room, seated like a polite accessory at the farthest table, trying not to combust. 

“my real boyfriend is glaring at you,” you whisper to reo. 

reo raises a glass. “i know. isagi looks like he’s thinking about setting fire to this floral centerpiece.” 

you both clink glasses in solidarity. 

across from you, some heiress with a platinum trust fund is explaining how she’s “completely self-made” because she once opened a vegan bakery in london. 

“girl,” you mutter. “you own six apartment buildings.” 

reo leans in. “her dad had to pay two million in damages after she accidentally poisoned someone with mushroom powder she found on pinterest.” 

you bite your lip, trying not to laugh. “damn. you really do your research.” 

“i'm thorough,” he says smugly, and starts texting nagi under the table like a giddy middle schooler. you sneak a glance at isagi, who’s pretending to stir his soup while definitely texting you with his hand under the tablecloth. 

isagi [8:41pm]: i miss u 

you [8:42pm]: you’re 20 feet away 

isagi [8:42pm]: i’m dying. reo’s dad just said i look like someone who “played sports at the public school” 

you [8:43pm]: okay he’s getting coal for christmas 

reo tilts his phone so you can see nagi’s response. 

nagi [8:43pm]: make them eat the centerpiece. they won’t notice 

you almost choke on your water. 

the woman next to you tries to engage you in a conversation about equestrian bloodlines, and you politely nod while messaging isagi under the table like you’re in some sort of underground operation. reo’s playing his part like a total pro – he throws you looks like “i’m so in love” and sighs dramatically any time you talk, which only makes you both look obnoxiously engaged and secretly evil. it’s perfect. 

“what do you think of this one?” reo whispers when the next guest starts bragging about launching a NFT for gourmet olives. 

“looks like a young benedict cumberbatch if he lost a fight with a hedge fund,” you say. “he just said the word ‘synergy’ unironically.”

“disqualified,” reo mutters. 

you clink glasses again. you’re starting to like this way too much. 

but later, you escape to the garden to breathe, because all this secret-love-fake-fiancée-corporate-dinner-lunacy is exhausting. reo follows you out with two glasses of champagne and a subtle wink. 

“nagi’s bored,” he says. “he tried to facetime me under the table.” 

“isagi sent me a meme and called it ‘the real appetizer.’” you sigh. “do you ever feel like we’re the only sane people in this capitalist hellscape?” 

reo raises a brow. “you’re fake engaged to me. you think i’m sane?” 

you clink your glass against his anyway. “you’re the only one who gets it.” 

for a second, the two of you just stand there in silence, watching the glowing windows from the outside like kids pressed to a candy store. 

“thank you,” you say, suddenly, seriously. “for helping me.” 

reo waves it off. “please. i get a fake fiancée and tax write-offs. nagi’s obsessed with the drama.” 

you smile. “he should’ve been an actor.” 

“he is acting. like he doesn’t love me.” 

you glance at him. “do you ever wish you could just… tell everyone?” 

“all the time,” he says. “but for now, we have each other. and excellent wardrobe coordination.” 

you bump his shoulder with yours. “ride or die.” 

he grins. “now tell your boyfriend to stop sulking and come steal you away.” 

“only if nagi lets you come over for game night.” 

“deal.” 

back inside, you walk past your mother, who whispers, “try not to look too smug. people are already talking about how perfect you and reo look together.” 

you give her a dazzling smile. “just wait till the wedding photos,” you say sweetly. “they’ll be iconic.” 

isagi meets you by the door with that look on his face, the one that says i’d break ten social contracts to hold your hand right now. you brush fingers briefly as you pass. 

and later, when you sneak into isagi’s apartment with leftover cake in your bag and tell him all about the NFT olives and poisoned mushroom heiress, he kisses you like you’re the only thing in the world that matters. which, really, you are. 

reo texts you at 1 AM. 

reo [1:01am]: nagi just said he wants to “elope but in a cool way.” do you think that means vegas or sword fight? 

you [1:02am]: depends. is there pacman involved? 

reo [1:02am]: always 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[critical-quoter]

The truth will set you free. That's a lie. The truth is jagged shards of glass you breathe in, shards that shred you until you think you'll never recover.

Contractually Yours - Nadia Lee

[tadfools]

Everything reminds me of him

Oh and also I love my fellow fags

[nottheeconomy]

The beautifully dashing leader of the phantom thieves and the charming detective princess!

My take on fem shuake!!!

I like my toxic doomed yaoi but toxic doomed Yuri hits so much harder when it comes to these two

(Brainrot under the read more!)

If Shuake were girls they would be so much more volatile than canon it’s hilarious

Honestly if Akechi was born a girl instead of a boy his already terrible life would be twice as hard hahahaha

Fem Akechi would have a much harder time willingly refraining from directly murdering shido

Like canon Akechi is this close to just shooting him in the head anytime he sees him but fem Akechi would have so much more temptation to see him dead dead dead

She’s going to have to withstand his disgustingly sexist statements with a bright smile on her face as shido says things like “oh Akechi, you’re not like those other women that only serve to further this country’s great longevity through rearing the young, you’re different, more capable.” And she needs to let those slimy words go in one ear and out if she’s going to be patient enough for him to be elected first

Not to mention she’s going to experience so much more scrutiny as a public idol since she’ll be a girl

Like in canon he already has a questionable fanbase but just imagine the weirdos that’ll idolise her as the detective princess

And she’s definitely not going to be taken as seriously by people for her detective work because people would JUST WRITE HER OFF AS A PRETTY FACE!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA JUST THE THOUGHT OF HOW MUCH HARDER FEM AKECHI HAS TO CLIMB TO THE TOP TO GET TO WHERE SHE IS!!!!!

She’s going to curate every facet of her image to make sure people takes her as seriously as possible

Her style needs to be trendy but not too trendy or people would call her vain

She needs to be careful of showing too much skin or she’ll be slutshamed

She needs to word her statements more delicately or else people would call her annoying do you see the visionnnnnnnnn

Like canon Akechi’s public mask is already so tightly wound against his face, fem Akechi’s public mask would be a full suit of armour (get it get it? Hahahahhaha)

Meanwhile! If Akira was a girl, the notion of her being a meddler when she tries to stop shido would be much stronger I think

Also I have a feeling she’s going to get harassed at shujin for having her criminal record leaked instead of how in canon everyone left Akira alone due to fear since people won’t take her assault charge as seriously

And then there’s kamoshida…eugh

So in conclusion:

I just think both of them would have so much more pent up rage than in canon hahahahahha

Like I’m sure they would’ve physically thrown hands in the boiler room of shido’s ship, like forget about the personas they’re going to throttle each other as the rest of the thieves watch hahahahahahhaa

On the bright side though I can see fem Akechi being closer to Sae and the detective princess being a role model to little girls

Hm but I have a feeling the rivalry between Akechi and Akira would feel like those early 2010s tabloid articles about how female stars had beef with each other, like it’ll be framed as something super catty hahahahaha

Man these girlies are filled with so much anger, honestly it’ll be so iconic if Akechi and Akira were written as girls but I err don’t have that much trust in Altus!

These are just my silly headcanons for fem Shuake! If you disagree with what I said it’s ok hahahahaha

[finnbin]

He's having a good time I swear

Also some more doodles of @plebbotheblob's kydron design!!! Very good design, well done :)

[coquelicoq]

interrupting his proposal to propose to him first is such the move. xiao lanhua you will always be famous. and kind of an airhead for not realizing he was proposing to you, but that's part of the charm. he was like let me bestow all the riches of the realm upon you my darling future wife and you were getting all anxious like that's nice honey but i have something actually important to talk about. yes more important than whatever this random unboxing event you took me to is for. let's get MARRIED. and then he didn't answer immediately (because he was so touched but also probably because he was thinking hey i basically said it first. when the grandkids ask you are NOT the one getting points for this) so you were like aw nuts :( ok well it's okay if you don't want to, we can talk about your thing now...do u want to get back to showing off your haul or whatever ?

[contractualselfships]

Divider cred: @/sister-lucifer

Music for your Soul art..... 2!!!!! I gotta get this out there I love them. They are everything to me <3

[94erz]

Add dionysus, silver spoon and dis-ease in that mic drop and bst ask (answer it whenever you have time lol no pressure)

I love my greek nerd hobi tho like he has mentioned it so many times in his music i wish i could sit with him and talk to him about his interests 🙁

Its funny that i have a list of questions i want to ask him like what are the eerie background noises in stop what was your thought process while making certain songs why are you such a workaholic how did you got into greek mythology

We could be besties i love him so bad 😔👎

Hoseok's love of literature, history, and mythology making it into his music is so fun and I love it! Knowing his dad influenced him with literature is one thing but history and mythology just being things he probably just enjoys on his own is a nice little tidbit of info to him as a person. Instead of the whole 'roman empire' thing for him it's more like 'greek mythology' and who can blame him, a lot of it is so fascinating and plays so well into his own idol persona. Using Pandora's Box to connect to his stage name j-hope and what hope means for/to him was so fucking good, while also combining it with the concept of a Jack in the Box, loved absolutely everything about it.

I wish he got interviewed more and people asked him interesting questions about his writing and creative process. So many people have had an opportunity to ask him shit since Ch. 2 started yet instead all we got were people asking him about the other members, how much he missed BTS, how much he looked forward to being in the group again, who his songs were for, just dumb shit that he had to answer the same way every time. What a fucking waste.

[princetorn]

ooc . Staring at my bird table this morning and it occured to me… Royce is a starling.

[lunaticamic]

it’s incredible how hateful and obsessed with sainz are every comments on a big motorsport page on facebook… when the post even remotely mentions him the comments are like “oh yes because his obsession is only leclerc!!” “no top team wants him because his entourage is horrible!!” “oh he’s got a big ego and it’s not a team player. he races for himself only” and others alike…… he’s really rotating in your head. you middle aged italian men would do numbers as twitter fangirls‼️

[critical-quoter]

'What happens if I never believe you love me?' I whisper. Even now this feels like a dream. 'Never say never, Valkyrie.'

Contractually Yours - Nadia Lee

[mensfrightsactivist]

let me see your pets challenge i’ll start

[charliebot-art]

BE secunits when they’re ordered to wrestle for their owners amusement:

[xxplastic-cubexx]

do u fw the rogue and gambit relationship

i fucks HEAVY with rogue/gambit

[kangals]

SO EXCITED FOR YOUR PUPPY!!!!

I’ll need to live vicariously through you lol. I messaged the breeder about that 18 month old blue merle bitch and she’s left me on read ☹️

there is nothing in the world more frustrating than trying to communicate with dog breeders, you have my sympathy. honestly if you can ask them for their phone # and just call them, i've had more success that way overall, but it's still a mixed bag. sending my 'acquire dog' vibes your way 🤞

[kitsukane]

give her her emotional support cowboy..... oooo all the starlos want to write with her so bad ooooo...