#core programming stuff

[allastoredeer]

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ WIP WEDNESDAY ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

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There was something…off about Lucifer.

Something that wasn’t adding up.

Alastor watched him from a distance. At first it was to get a better read of him, and how long he intended to stay, but the as the days ticked on, an unsettling feeling of wrongness grew in the pit of Alastor's stomach.

It’s the mixer that set off the first alarm.

Lucifer followed through with his promise to get Charlie a meeting with Heaven—now scheduled a few days from then—and he and Charlie were in the kitchen cooking up a celebratory meal.

Alastor hid in the shadows, watching the two bubbling personalities with growing boredom.

“Oh, wow, it’s been a while since I’ve been in here,” Lucifer said, wandering around the kitchen as Charlie pulled appliances out of cupboards and ingredients out of the pantry.

“Yeah, Vaggie and I rearranged a lot of the hotel. To make it new and refreshing, you know?”

Lucifer nodded, as if he understood exactly what she meant. “Well, you’ll have to show me where everything is, I guess,” he laughed, opening a few cupboards. “Because I have no idea where that blasted mixer is. I could’ve sworn it was in here.”

“I’ll grab it, let me just—oh, hold on,” she pulled her phone from her back pocket as it started ringing. “It’s Vaggie. She’s out running errands. Do you mind if I?” She gestured to the door.

“Oh, go right ahead. I’ll get everything ready in here.”

“Thanks, dad.”

She left and Alastor was prepared to follow her example, as there was hardly anything worth watching in the kitchen, but paused when Lucifer let out a deep, happy sigh and turned, walked to a cupboard across the room, and pulled out the mixer.

Alastor frowned.

But it could’ve just been a lucky guessed, he reasoned as Lucifer plugged the appliance into the wall, humming a jaunty circus tune to himself. But then Lucifer opened a drawer close by, grabbed a wire whisk, then hopped a few shelves over for a mixing bowl. The squirm in Alastor’s gut tightened.

For someone who hadn’t been there in centuries, he sure knew his way around.

Still, that wasn’t too strange. Lucifer was an immortal being. A few centuries was probably little more than a week for him. Who could say how his memory matched?

Except…

Didn’t Charlie say she and Vaggie rearranged everything?

His magic, Alastor decided. Divine powers of an angel, and all of that. Surely that would cover finding basic kitchenware.

But even that explanation felt a bit…off.

Something about it wasn’t right.

It was Lucifer’s confidence. The way he strode from cupboard to cupboard without a lick of hesitation or a hint of doubt. No fumbling, no second guessing, no pulling out the wrong drawer, even on accident.

Still hidden, Alastor inched closer, to get a better look.

That’s when Lucifer turned his head and looked at him.

For a split-second, when those red slitted eyes met his, Alastor thought he’d accidentally stepped out of the shadows, because all of the sudden, Lucifer's smile was gone, his humming dropped, and the cadence around him became tangibly colder. Alastor checked himself but, no, he was still hidden. Still covered in shadows in the corner of the kitchen, where the lights weren’t far enough to give away his hiding spot.

But Lucifer didn’t look away. He wasn’t moving. Wasn’t blinking. It didn’t even look like he was breathing.

There weren’t many things in Hell that unsettled Alastor anymore. He’d encountered demons without eyelids, ones who seemed to disappeared when they stopped moving, plenty who didn’t need to breath or eat for days on end.

Lucifer was hardly the strangest, or scariest, thing he’s seen, and yet…

He slowly cocked his head and took a step around the counter. Alastor’s heart jumped. Lucifer still hadn't broken eye contact. He walked slowly, not like he was scared or nervous, but careful and quiet, like a predator stalking through bushes. Trying not to startle its victim.

Alastor figured he may as well step out of the shadows, seeing how his presence was obviously known. Or he could simply leave. Just meld into the darkness and return to the parlor to see if anything interesting was going on at the bar.

But he couldn’t, for the life of him, move.

His body refused to. His lungs held his breath captive in his chest. His heart thumped harder with growing unease.

Deep in the recesses of his mind, a small, intrinsic voice told him to stay still. To keep eye contact. So certain that if the moved, if he took his eyes off of Lucifer for one second, he wouldn’t be fast enough to see him a second time. Before it was too late.

The closer he got, the louder that voice became, until Alastor didn’t feel like he was controlling the shadows so much as the shadows were holding him in place. He was trapped, completely and utterly, and he could. Not. Look. Away.

Lucifer was only a few feet away when the doors flung open and Charlie bounded inside, hauling a load of groceries with Vaggie close behind. His change was immediate.

The air warmed, his dark demeanor disappeared and a wide, happy smile lit up his face. He whirled around. “Char-Char, welcome back! I think I found just about everything.”

“Oh, wow, you did,” Charlie said, looking over the counter. “It wasn’t too much of a hassle, was it?”

“Ah, not at all, kiddo. I found may way around. Ready to get started?”

“Yes! Here, Vaggie got the rest of the things we needed.”

Lucifer walked to her with a pep in his step, but as he rounded the counter, he looked at Alastor again, face impassive and cold, and suddenly Alastor was being thrust away. He stumbled out of the shadows on the third floor, knocking into a hall table that nearly took him off his feet. He clutched it, barely keeping himself from hitting the floor.

He stared at the wall, stunned.

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I've mentioned that I've wanted to write a dark!Lucifer fic and I got an Anon a while back asking how I would go about writing that.

Well, here's a little piece.

[cakemoney]

once in a while i contemplate what was going to happen to evan, back in season 1 when he asked for the Procedure to Make Him Normal. because, like, we realized that that's a lie, right? we realized at the big reveal that there isn't anything that makes someone capable or incapable of magic; everyone on earth could do magic if they were aware of it and were taught how to do it. there wasn't a thing that could be taken out or a switch that could be flipped; everyone was magic all along, had been even before some british assholes built a secret society on it. evan was never going to stop being magic.

so, like, what was philtrum's plan. were they going to just wipe evan's memories and drop him back where he was before? would they try to erase all of evan's memories that involve magic, including all the scary demon shit that happened throughout his life? or would they just cut out his knowledge of gowpenny, and essentially rewind him to before he got that first owl? if he doesn't remember gowpenny, he's not gonna remember that he was supposed to have a procedure that fixed him anyway, so what does it matter?

i don't remember clearly, but i believe (?) the whole procedure thing was one of the ways philtrum was trying to get the whole pilot program declared a failure, so maybe wiping all their memories and sending them back without knowledge of gowpenny or magic or each other was always part of her plan. but even if they no longer remember what magic is, they will still have the potential of magic, and that could be an issue with evan, right? philtrum and co. don't know everything about evan's demon stuff, but she must've noticed from the beginning that something about evan isn't right. evan's familiar is his own shadow; in every conversation with him, evan has spoken of magic as something that he had a pre-existing relationship with (namely, a bad relationship where he is scared of magic because it has caused bad stuff to happen to him). for all the others, if gowpenny was removed from their lives, may never cast another spell again, but it's hard to be sure of that with evan; philtrum didn't know concrete details about the demons, but she also didn't know that sam managed to charm them into leaving. what happens if Bad Magic Shit happens to evan again, and something leads evan to remembering or finding out about gowpenny anyway? evan could be some kind of prophecied dark wizard, which probably isn't a foreign concept for a headmistress who runs a school where there is a whole house for kids who've been labeled evil; if they return him to america and he's left to his own devices, how can they be sure that he doesn't Cause Problems for wizard society later?

what i mean is. we already know philtrum's tried multiple times to get evan killed; we know she feels contempt for the pilot program and want to get rid of them and protect the status quo. and evan has no family to go back to; the only people who would care enough to miss him would have no way of knowing where he's gone and what's happened to him, and hopefully would not remember him once this whole ordeal was over.

she was probably going to kill him, right? like, why waste time performing complex magic brain surgery on this kid? she's got no issues with lying, manipulation, and child murder. if evan had ended up going to the nebulous Appointment, philtrum was probably going to straight up kill him, or at least try to. and for the first time in his life, the shadows and demons wouldn't be around to protect him.

[thebrokenmechanicalpencil]

A Look.

( @quibble-auk I wanted to explore the Swap au Comet some more, figure out his personality without the Spidey senses and Pretender stuff. I played with your concept of programming a bit, more of my own thoughts on the servant class. Maybe I'm not overdoing it-)

Comet hadn’t been able to sleep that night, recharge not on his Master’s list of chores for him to complete. 

Instead the young mech was forced to run errands between the Architect and the Artisan all night. Back and forth to and fro, carrying datapads color, swatches, and material listings. Cometeater wondered why they couldn’t have their offices closer. The reason for such an odd system was that the Artisan enjoyed his highgrade, and adored a large personal studio away from the main towers, especially while he chipped away at a project for the families. Said families would never risk ruining his artistic mood, and they themselves would never do something as lowly as deliveries.  Why not send pictures? Well the pictures never caught the form or the color correctly, that's what he assumed from the drunken ramblings of the Artisan. 

Comet had stood stock still for two hours as the mech worked, ready to deliver his progress at any moment. Stiff and optics lowered, he waited. 

Eventually Nisis shooed him, saying that his work would take more time. That the servant’s hovering was destroying his focus. Comet had bowed low, optics never moving from the floor. 

Silently taking his leave, his programming whirring angrily in his chest. Bowing to the Masters was a movement he had practiced till it was second nature. A slow bend at the waist if being dismissed, keeping your movement smooth and graceful.

Yet it made part of him angry. Some alien piece of him hated the feeling. Comet had been cuffed more than once for allowing his displeasure to show in a twitch of his plating. 

“A servant is placid, a shadow and an extra hand to the Master, bite than hand boy and you lose yours.”

Comeater sighed deeply as he passed the lavish halls, the older servants beginning their days. Quickly and without even a glance they flitted past him. Comet couldn’t help but cut his eyes up at them.

Servants were beautiful mechs. Their colors are inviting and comforting, never pastels or bright eye catching shades. The hues always complemented their master’s paints, embellishments from their master’s pallet dotted and painted in lovely patterns on their plating. 

To be a servant of a house was to be like a painting in the hall, if your servants were beautiful then your status showed with every movement they made. A splendid house would be decorated in the flawless mechs, themselves part of the house itself. 

Companions, status symbols. 

Being a decoration to a family, honoring the Masters was all any servant could ever live for. Providing comfort, advice, anything beckoned of them. 

Comet couldn’t help but be in awe of them. 

He had to be chosen by a family however to become one of them. 

Cometeater sighed deep in his chest as he manoeuvred past the mechs, avoiding the gazes of Guardians when he could. 

The large intimidating sentinels you could almost miss if you were not careful, but Comet knew they would never miss you. Acting suspicious in any way would have you on a list in their minds, Comet couldn’t afford that. He wasn’t exactly supposed to be out this early, not that his Master cared.

Soon he reached the servants door that would lead him down to the  quarters, a section of the wall that when pressed on, opened with no fanfare. He looked side to side, checking for the echo of footsteps or murmurs within the passage. 

Comet heard none.

In a flurry he flew down the stairwell like a bird, he let himself smile as he did it three steps at a time. The airtime from the leaps causing giggles to bubble in his chest. 

Finally he was alone. 

Finally he could cut up just a bit. 

Comet laughed to himself as he went, the tired aches forgotten in the thrill of finally loosening his shoulders. Moving as fast as he wanted, no Master to cuff him for the childish twirl he did when he hit the bottom at a spark hammering speed. Breathing fast, he couldn’t stop grinning, continuing to spin, arms outstretched with his left over momentum. 

Comets laughter echoed through the passageway, dizziness and the thrill of being alone egging him on. He finally came to a halt leaning up along the wall, breaths deep and optics glowing brightly in the dim light.  Cometeater laid in the exhilaration for as long as he could, now with all of his training and chores he hardly ever had time to feel like this. He smirked, it almost felt like flipping off his Master. 

See you stupid ugly fragger?

He could have fun, do whatever he wanted. 

Comet felt his spark hum, his programming stuttering at the insults, the love of control. Some darker part of Comet crowed, the part of himself that had been numbed and blocked. But still showed its quills. Showed him what it felt like to control, to try and dominate.

He was supposed to report the thoughts to his superior, but Comet was infatuated with knowing something those slaggers didn’t. Having something that was his. 

It made him feel so perfect, why would he let them take that away?

His drunken happiness was cut short however by yells above, thundering steps down the stairs. 

Comet hardly moved in time to avoid the Guards as they rushed past.

He couldn’t help but be surprised when one of them stopped, optics fiery with clicking programming. Comet allowed his own to take root, bidding goodbye to his heated other, keeping him from reacting to the sudden intensity of the gaze.

“Are you alright?”

The guard's voice was close to winded, Comet nodded his servant programming purring at the attention, that he had asked him something. He wanted desperately to ask what was happening, so before his jaw would lock he let it slip.

“Why what's happened?” 

The guard only scowled down at him, “You shouldn’t even be out here boy, younglings are supposed to be in their designated areas till released by your Master.”

Comet’s programming snapped up the attention like a starving dog, the need to please, to help. He also felt his curiosity flare.

“I was doing errands for the Architect, did something happen?”

There was a childish lilt to his voice that seemed to make the guard soften, a look of protectiveness flashing over him.

“One of the guards found a dead mech on the east gate Sparklet,” the warmth vanished before Comet could get a proper glimpse of it, the guard answering his com. Then his faceplate hardened. “That means you should get back to your barracks, now. I don't want to catch you out and about again by yourself. Got it?”

Comet felt a sulkiness rear its head, but his innards begged to please. “Yessir.”

The armored mech nodded, but did not move. Comet sighed in realization, like all guardians the mech wouldn’t just leave him till he knew he’d follow orders.

Comet gave a bow, and turned on his heel for the barracks. He knew the guardian wouldn’t leave till the younger bot was out of sight, so Comet with a sad grumble accepted that his time for play was over.

He had work to do.

[iinkstar]

Another drawing of her :3 she’s so slay

[supercantaloupe]

most of my day was pretty crap but i did get to go to the library science holiday party for an hour before my concert call and i not only got free dinner out of it but i also somehow managed to win two (2) raffle items. the first was a university sweatshirt and the second was a branded tote bag w more stuff inside. i ended up letting them re-draw the raffle for the sweatshirt bc i don't really need it and i felt weird claiming two raffle items, the tote bag was what i was really interested in anyway. not only is it a nice tote with a zipper and an inside pocket and everything it also came with a t shirt, a button, a mug, an Insulated mug, a travel umbrella, and a water bottle. thought that last bit is especially funny to me given the fact that they handed out door prizes to everyone just for showing up. which were. Different (less nice) branded tote bags with a note pad and water bottle in them. so now i just have two identical LIS water bottles

[victory-cookies]

I think I may have fucked up with my degree timeline a bit.

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

eyyyy I just remembered that next week I have almost a full day of out of office work, a day off (ty juneteenth), and then half a day like literally I am only going to be working 2 full days and they aren't even right next to each other AND I have programs on both of them so that's basically another few hours of ~nondesk~ work

[captain-ultimat-doggo]

Humans entering space and realizing we are so small. We are mice compared to these giant races with their advanced machinery and technologies and experiences beyond us- except that we're humans. And our engineers dive into the new tech and once we learn the principles we also soon realize how Inefficient everything is. Their "microchips" are the size of cars, their storage drives are basically buildings, and they somehow store less data than ours. So, human companies take advantage, and tech starts rolling out. Massive and there's a lot of wasted space so that it can be managed with larger hands/pincers/claws/tentacles, but also so much more efficient than anything the galaxy has seen before.

Human technicians start hopping ships and upkeeping the general maintenance, the stuff that most aliens put off or don't notice because they never access the crevices of their ships. As human companies become more popular and lead the tech world in everything from warp cores to game stations ("it's so compact! How are the graphics so good?" Says a 60' tall grimbleback, holding a new VR headset that has all of its components included because it's so BIG by our tech standards), soon many things have accessibility ports for humans to be able to use as well. This means that these shiprats hoping ship to ship cause such a huge improvement in everything running smoothly, and there's a huge downtick in pests on ships because those "pests" are not only big enough and aggressive enough to bite a pitbull or a person in half, they're invasive to so many planets and humans hate nothing more than dog killing planet overrunning monsters.

All the while, from the Aliens perspective, humans are an elusive race that don't fraternize much with them. You almost never see a human as most places aren't exactly safe for the little things to run around in. They do export so much stuff though, and the custodial staff at the Central Galactic Outpost insists that there's more humans around than any other race if you just know where to look.

And sure it's somewhat known that some of the little daredevils hop ships and help out in exchange for room and board, usually without permission, but that can't be that common, can it?

Maybe your ship is running better this cycle ever since you stopped at the last station, that just means that tuneup was better than you thought. And maybe for some reason that program you were working on last night is finished when you wake up, but you're so tired maybe you finished it before you passed out. Somehow that faulty light in the galley has fixed itself as well, which is odd, but maybe the Engineer finally got to it. You'd know if there was someone else on your ship.

Right?

... You leave a little bowl of berries out as a thank you, just in case. You're not sure what humans like but you've heard they have a sweet tooth.

[cressidagrey]

Mr Oblivious

Pairing: Oscar Piastri x Felicity Leong-Piastri (Original Character)

Summary: Oscar Piastri is absolutely oblivious to the fact that people try to flirt with him. It drives Lando nuts. Felicity finds it very amusing though. 

(divider thanks to @saradika-graphics )

Lando Norris had a very simple opinion about Oscar Piastri:

The man was smart, fast, loyal to a fault — And completely, hopelessly, oblivious.

Especially about certain things.

Like, say, the fact that every now and then, some thirsty influencer or overly-friendly interviewer decided they wanted to test their luck around one of McLaren’s golden boys.

Case in point: today.

It was supposed to be a simple media day.

Smile, wave, answer a few questions without accidentally swearing — easy stuff.

And then she showed up.

Some influencer.

Lando didn’t catch her name.

Didn’t want to.

Her outfit was orange enough to suggest she'd Googled "McLaren colors" five minutes before showing up.

 Her laugh was the kind that made Lando want to put himself in an ice bath.

But what really got him was the way she locked eyes on Oscar from the moment she walked into the room.

Like a hawk spotting a particularly delicious rabbit.

And Oscar — sweet, pure, unsuspecting Oscar — stood there politely, posture perfect, nodding like he was about to explain suspension geometry to a cactus.

She sidled up to him with all the grace of a Bond girl in heels, flashing teeth and dimples and Lando could see it coming.

Could see the slow-motion train wreck unfolding with the inevitability of a Ferrari strategy call.

She sidled closer.

Tilted her head. Big fake lashes, even faker laugh.

"So, Oscar," she purred, "looking very fit this season. What's your secret?"

Lando, standing just off to the side, already felt his skin crawl.

Oscar, meanwhile, nodded thoughtfully like she’d asked him about chassis balance.

"Consistency," he said, serious as anything. "And good hydration habits. Also core strength. That’s really important for maintaining control in high G-force corners. I’ve been working with a new strength and conditioning coach. Core engagement and flexibility training. Lots of functional range mobility exercises. Very important for endurance."

Lando nearly dropped the can of Monster Energy he was carrying.

He physically turned away, took a moment to compose himself, and turned back — and she was still going.

She giggled — the kind of giggle Lando associated with botched lip filler and red flags — and twirled her hair like they were in a teen movie from 2004.

"Flexibility, huh?" she said, her voice doing That Thing™. Then winked.

WINKED.

Oscar, God bless him, nodded solemnly.

"Yeah. Critical for cockpit comfort. Limited hip mobility can lead to premature fatigue during longer races."

Lando just stared.

The influencer stared.

Oscar stared earnestly back. Oscar blinked at her with the open innocence of a Labrador Retriever about to explain knee cartilage.

It was like watching someone flirt with a toaster.

And then — then — she tried it.

She went for the kill.

"Well," she said, laughing in a way that definitely wasn't natural, "maybe you could show me some... flexibility exercises later?"

Lando choked on air.

Oscar, bless him, just looked mildly puzzled.

Lando’s hands curled into fists at his sides.

Oscar thought she wanted workout advice.

Meanwhile, this woman was basically trying to climb him like a tree.

"I mean," Oscar said, frowning thoughtfully, "I guess? If you’re interested in physiotherapy protocols? There's a lot of hip flexor and thoracic mobility involved."

He paused.

"Although," Oscar added very seriously, completely unaware he was standing in a verbal minefield, “you should always get a doctor’s clearance before starting any high-intensity exercise program.”

The influencer blinked.

Lando stared at the heavens.

Why.

Why had the universe given this man a marriage, a child, and a heart of gold, but no flirting radar whatsoever.

Lando was so angry on Oscar’s behalf he actually saw red.

Because it wasn’t just the flirting.

It was the disrespect.

Oscar — who had a wife who fixed racing models better than half the paddock. Oscar — who had a four-year-old daughter who beat engineers at Sudoku. Oscar — who literally carried his entire family in his heart wherever he went.

He wasn’t available.

He wasn’t interested.

And he damn well deserved to have people respect that without needing to tattoo MARRIED. TAKEN. HAS A BUMBLEBEE-OBSESSED DAUGHTER across his forehead.

And then — because clearly the universe wanted to personally test Lando’s self-control — the influencer winked.

Like, full-on, slow-motion, cartoon-style winked at Oscar.

Oscar blinked back, confused.

Then said, very seriously:

"You should also stretch regularly to avoid cramping."

Lando actually made a noise — somewhere between a groan and a dying animal.

The influencer tried to recover, laughing awkwardly, but Oscar had already turned — calm, unfazed — and was politely thanking the PR rep for organizing the media day.

Lando stormed over, practically vibrating with protective rage.

"Mate," he hissed when Oscar finally wandered off-stage, "you realize she was hitting on you, right?"

Oscar frowned. "Was she?"

"YES," Lando hissed, arms flailing. "She was basically ready to throw herself at you!”

Oscar looked genuinely perplexed.

"But... I’m married."

"YES," Lando repeated, louder, like he was explaining quantum physics to a pigeon. "You are married. You have a kid. You are the dictionary definition of off-limits."

Oscar scratched the back of his neck.

"Maybe she didn’t know?"

"She definitely knew," Lando muttered darkly. "You are actually wearing your wedding ring for once and Bee’s little bead bracelet. You might as well walk around holding a sign that says 'I love my wife and daughter more than oxygen.'"

Oscar shrugged, entirely unfazed.

"I mean... it’s true."

Lando stared at him.

Somewhere between admiration and absolute rage.

When they reached the McLaren motorhome, Felicity was there — perched on the couch, Bee asleep with her head on Felicity’s lap, Button the Frog tucked under her tiny arm.

Oscar’s whole face lit up like a sunrise.

He crossed the room without hesitation, dropped a kiss onto Felicity’s hair, and gently stroked Bee’s back.

Felicity smiled up at him, all soft and warm and easy, like they had a language no one else could hear.

Lando stood off to the side, arms crossed, watching it all unfold.

Watching how Oscar's whole world just locked into place around them, without hesitation, without second thought.

Yeah.

Let them flirt. Let them try.

Oscar Piastri had everything he needed right here. And he was smart enough — good enough — to never even glance anywhere else.

***

Meanwhile on Twitter: 

@/F1TeaSpill: BREAKING: Influencer tries to flirt with Oscar Piastri.

Oscar responds with “core strength” and “doctor’s clearance.”

Meanwhile, Lando Norris nearly combusts in the background.

[attached: video clip]

@/pitlanechaos: Not Oscar offering that woman a PHYSIOTHERAPY REFERRAL I’m losing it. He thought she wanted professional advice. He’s too pure for this world.

@/felicityfanclub (pinned tweet):

‼️OSCAR PIASTRI IS MARRIED

‼️HE LOVES HIS WIFE

‼️HE LOVES HIS DAUGHTER

‼️HE IS OBLIVIOUSLY LOYAL

‼️AND WE ARE HERE TO DEFEND HIS GOLDEN RETRIEVER ENERGY

@/formulawoah: This man said “consult your doctor” instead of realizing she was flirting. He’s not oblivious. He’s loyal at a molecular level.

@/landohmygod: Lando Norris being 1 second away from lunging across the paddock like an angry chihuahua deserves its own Emmy. He was FIGHTING for Oscar’s honor.

@/suspension_nerd: If I was that influencer and Oscar hit me with “thoracic mobility is important” when I was trying to flirt, I would simply evaporate on the spot.

@/gridgossip: This man has a wife who fixes telemetry errors in her sleep, and makes him bento boxes everyday. AND A DAUGHTER WHO BEATS ENGINEERS AT SUDOKU. What did you THINK was going to happen??

@/F1psychology: Watching Oscar Piastri react to flirting like it's a sports injury safety video is the most fascinating psychological case study I’ve ever seen. Also, Lando's visible rage is priceless.

***

Oscar waited until Bee was down for the night.

She’d fallen asleep curled up around Button the Frog, one arm flung dramatically across her pillow like she was staging a nap-themed protest. He’d kissed her forehead and tucked the blanket under her chin, switching the night light to its soft pink glow before slipping out of her room on quiet feet.

He figured... if Felicity was going to hate him, she probably shouldn’t have to do it in front of their daughter.

Which was stupid. He hadn’t done anything wrong.

But the pit in his stomach wouldn’t go away.

He was sweating, suddenly aware of how clingy the collar of his t-shirt felt. His hands wouldn’t sit still — twitching, tapping, twisting his wedding ring around and around until the skin beneath it burned.

He felt fifteen again. Awkward and uncertain and too full of words he didn’t know how to say.

And then Felicity padded into the living room, hair twisted into a lazy bun, bare feet soft against the floorboards, wearing one of his old McLaren hoodies that hung off her like it still didn’t understand how it ended up lucky enough to be wrapped around her.

She looked soft. Tired. Safe.

She smiled when she saw him, sweet and a little sleepy, like she was expecting him to ask about what tea she wanted or whether he’d remembered to order oat milk.

Oscar nearly chickened out.

Instead, he sat up straighter — awkward and abrupt — and blurted:

"Someone tried to flirt with me today."

Felicity blinked.

Tilted her head slightly, eyebrows raised — curious, not alarmed.

"Okay," she said, in the same tone she might use if he told her they were out of clean towels.

Oscar frowned.

"No, like — really tried. At a media thing. In front of cameras."

She just blinked again. Still calm. Still patient.

Still not mad.

Just... waiting.

Oscar swallowed.

"And I didn’t realize it was flirting until Lando nearly had an aneurysm."

That earned him a real laugh — soft, sudden, surprised. The kind of laugh she gave him when Bee said something absurd or when Oscar accidentally fixed something in the kitchen by whacking it with a shoe.

It went straight to his chest.

God, he loved her.

"And I was worried—" he continued, words stumbling out now like they’d been dammed up too long, "I was worried you’d think I was — I don’t know — encouraging it or — or being stupid, or not noticing because I wanted to miss it—"

Felicity crossed the room in three quick steps, not breaking eye contact once.

She dropped onto the couch beside him, slid her legs over his lap like she did every night, and tucked herself against his side like she’d always belonged there.

"You thought I’d be mad," she said, amused, "because some random influencer tried to flirt with you?"

Oscar nodded miserably, guilt still clinging to the back of his throat.

Felicity pulled back just enough to look up at him.

Eyes shining. Smile small and full of something dangerously close to laughter.

"Oscar," she said slowly, "I saw the whole video. You tried to offer her hydration advice."

He groaned, already regretting every decision he’d made since opening his mouth.

"Please don’t remind me."

"You told her to stretch her hip flexors," Felicity said, delighted. "Oscar, you sounded like a yoga instructor trying to scare off a client."

"Bee probably would’ve handled it better," he muttered, rubbing at his face.

Felicity laughed — a real one this time, head back, eyes crinkled, full-body kind of joy.

Oscar melted a little.

She curled closer, arms winding around his waist like she didn’t intend to let go anytime soon.

"I’m not mad, love," she said gently, brushing her nose against his shoulder. "She never stood a chance."

Oscar blinked down at her, stunned. A little breathless.

Felicity grinned up at him.

"You are so... mine, it’s not even funny."

She said it like a joke. She said it like a truth carved in stone.

Both were true.

Oscar let out a long, shaky breath, tension finally bleeding out of his chest.

"I just didn’t want you to think—"

She kissed his cheek, quieting him with the ease of someone who knew every version of him — the champion, the kid from karting, the dad who braided Bee’s hair with frog clips.

"I married you," Felicity whispered. "I know exactly who you are. I trust you with my life. And frankly, if anyone tries to flirt with you again, I might just send them a condolence card."

Oscar laughed, startled and in love and still trying to figure out how he’d ever ended up this lucky.

"And also," Felicity added, smirking like a fox who had absolutely won, "it’s way too funny to be jealous about."

He buried his face into her neck, overwhelmed by the warmth of her, by the sharp edges of her wit and the soft edges of her love.

"You’re ridiculous," he mumbled, muffled by her skin.

"And you," she said, threading her fingers through his hair like he was something precious, "are very bad at realizing when people want you." A beat. "And your brain is permanently stuck on ‘wife good, daughter best, car fast.’"

Oscar smiled, eyes closed, letting her steady him with nothing more than her heartbeat and her presence.

"You really aren’t mad?" he asked, still half-disbelieving.

Felicity leaned back, just far enough to look at him fully — bright-eyed and ferociously sure.

"Oscar," she said solemnly, "you are the most obliviously loyal man I’ve ever met. If I had to design a loyalty test, it would look like you."

Oscar kissed the curve of her throat, slow and reverent.

"Good thing I only ever wanted you," he murmured.

Felicity’s arms tightened around him, like she could will him into her bones.

"Exactly," she whispered.

Exactly.

[birdsarecoolio]

..

[thydungeongal]

I'm really interested in the mechanics of tabletops, which makes me want to know about the mechanics of disco elysium, but instead of a detailed mechanical analysis I can only (understandably!) find narrative commentary. As a Very Smart Cookie, I would love to hear what you have to say on topics such as... How does disco elysium work? What makes it different than other games? Is it *just* the quality of the writing? How do the mechanics synergize with the quality of the writing?

So okay, it's not just the quality of the writing, although to be fair; the writing is like really good.

But as for the mechanics: Disco Elysium is ultimately a video game. It is clearly inspired heavily by tabletop RPGs, even more so than most CRPGs are (like, Disco Elysium is pretty much a masterclass in terms of how well it manages to make a CRPG feel very close to a tabletop RPG in terms of player expression and the marriage of fiction and mechanics). Disco Elysium's actual game mechanics are not all that remarkable, but the game uses them in such a way that pretty much necessitates it being a video game.

At its core, Disco Elysium's resolution mechanic is based on a roll of two six-sided dice plus a skill rating, trying to roll greater than or equal to a target number determined by the difficulty of the action, and it uses a very traditional type of Pass/Fail method of determining results based on those rolls. It is, at the end of the day, unremarkable as a resolution mechanic. There is something to be said for the distribution of results on the 2d6 and how even a single plus can actually skew the probabilities in the player's favor and how this combined with the fact that the game makes various individual +1 bonuses from drugs and clothes and whatever easily available to the player is a great example of ludonarrative harmony. But ultimately the system isn't one that would exactly make tabletop enthusiasts hoot and holler.

But the game still uses that very simple mechanic effectively, not only because of the aforementioned stacking of bonuses (which is really easy to do in a video game but in a tabletop context often results in tedium) but also because the game is actually doing lots of hidden and rapid fire checks under the hood ALL THE TIME. When in a tabletop RPG you probably shouldn't want to stop the flow of a scene where everyone at the table is jamming and narrating together for the sake of rolling a knowledge check, Disco Elysium is doing that for you all of the time. That is something where the game is making the most out of the fact that it can offload that stuff to the program, to be handled in the background at a rapid fire pace.

There is definitely stuff that can be taken away from Disco Elysium for the sake of tabletop RPGs, but its prose is hard to imitate without sounding pretentious or insincere, and its mechanics would be hard to replicate in a tabletop format because they ultimately rely on a lot of book-keeping that may be tedious to do manually as well as doing LOTS of rolls in the background that could potentially introduce unnecessary friction into gameplay if replicated at the table.

[dragonqwq]

So I was thinking about drachrod moment.

Rodimus comes the habsuit after working over bunch of very boring paperwork about crew safety and possible health Hazards? According to magnus the plans and policies in them were from war time and needed updating. But the issue is while he read (skimmed some parts) entire manual magnus gave him he didn't understand most of it how was he going to update something he doesn't understand like the quarantine protocols for contagious disease and epidemics. If he has no idea how they work and there are like bazillion different diseases to code ones, energon ones, organic based ones, infection ones(he thinks) and more types he is not a Medic how is he spose to update them. Sure he and upper command will have a meeting about it.... and Ratchet will be there and drift and lot more people... God he will be embarrassing himself maybe Ratchet has some medical data pads around. So he searches the chaos incarnate Ratchet's desk at their joined habsuit it takes a while but he finds bunch of them so he starts checking them out...and primus he is so intrested in them he ends up reading bunch of them ones related and none related medical datapads. When drift and Ratchet comes to the habsuit after their shifts. They found Rodimus reading datapads. He basically ended up reading every educational material Ratchet had instead of recharging. So Drift kinda scared comes up to very restless Roddy with twitching spoilers muttering staff. He puts his hand on Rodimus's shoulder and asks " Roddy are you OK?" Rodimus tuns at him he has the biggest eye bags he ever saw on him and his plating pale, looking like he didn't refueled for a cycle. " Drift! Did you know there was a hole virus that can get into your mainframe and cause critical cpu failure though physically contact! And it can pass through scans to like the point someone checks you out for problems boom they are also infected how cool is That! Well it is terrible to have a critical system failure but God it is so interesting how it slowly destroy your core prossesor step by step while increasing your overall performance to hide itself in your programing!" Rodimus goes and shows the data pad about the virus to drift. Drift sigh. "Actually That is a older version of that virus our fire walls now are strong enough to deal with it. You should hear about the 5.03 version of that virus. It melts the mechs and very hard to diagnos since it doesn't have as much as side effects." Ratchet says to drift's horror. Rodimus keeps going with his sudden interest in medical stuff and drift has to go along and has to listen them talk about a rust infection at their regular refueling time. Ratchet keep telling Rodimus about bunch of very gruesome medical procedures he performed. While Rodimus asks questions and replies. Drift is just about to purge his tank. He loves his gorgeous conjux's but they can be too much some time...

[thefrontmanscockwarmer]

Cigarette Smoke

Sang-Woo x reader

Masterlist <- comment on this post to be added to the Taglist

Note: I KNOW, I’m definitely a In Ho girlie through to my core, but I had a story idea and it really just fit him so much betterrrrrr.

Tw: smoking, drinking

You sat on the steps of your father’s apartment. You dreaded his arrival almost, knowing he was bringing back a buddy to stay in your apartment for a few days. Something about him losing his job and not wanting to tell his mother that he had to come home. Something bullshit like that.

Almost on cue, your father came walking up the street with his buddy. Your dad’s happy grin plastered on his face.

“Oh oh Sang-Woo!” He tapped his friend’s chest excitedly. “Meet my daughter! (Y/n)” he said proudly, brandishing you like a trophy.

“Hello, sir” you bowed your head. “Nice to meet you, my father’s spoken so much about you” you say faking a sincere tone of happiness.

“Please, call me Sang-Woo, no need for formalities” he replied.

“Dinners on the table. I got take out” you told the men as they headed inside, you trailed behind.

“So, (y/n), your father tells me you graduated from Seoul National” Sang-Woo says as he sips on a beer.

“Yes, apparently, I followed in your footsteps. I also graduated top of my class” you remark kindly.

“What did you study?” He asks, eying you carefully, his eyes lingering longer than they should. You catch his glance.

“Astrophysics” you take a drink of your beer. “I’m going for my PhD so I can work at KASA” you tell him.

“When does the program start?”

“Highly competitive, they only open spots once a year in January, and I just graduated” it was the beginning of May. You had a few months before it even started.

“Ah I see, so Gi Hun only has you for a few months” you mean I you threatened to correct. You could tell by the way he looked at you with his lingering eyes and how is eyes darted between your lips and eyes each time you spoke.

“Yeah, I was going to stay close to the university, but I decided to come home, anything I need to do, I can do from my laptop” you said. “But, who knows” you added, shrugging. You finished your plate.

“Where are you going?” Your dad asked. “We were gonna take a few shots and watch baseball, I know it’s your favorite”

“I was going to sit out and smoke for a minute” you say. “Habits. Sorry. Yeah, I’ll hang around”

“No Gi Hun” Sang Woo speaks. “I’m sure she doesn’t want to hang around us old guys.” He shares a laugh with your dad.

“No it’s really alright. I’m just going to smoke a cigarette and come back in. You guys are welcome to join. Even bring the bottle and a couple glasses out.”

“You know what (y/n), that’s a great idea!” Gi Hun says. “Let’s smoke on the back patio and drink, we can turn the tv so we can see the game”

After a minute or so of moving stuff around you guys were all settled in plastic chairs outside, watching the game through the open glass door.

“I can’t believe he missed that hit” you sigh. “I mean it was so fucking perfect”

“Take a drink” Sang Woo says. “I bet a shot that he’d miss the ball” you laugh and take a sip. He watched as you licked the excess liquor off your lips. He bite his lip to keep himself from smiling. No Sang-Woo. Stop thinking like that. She’s your best friends daughter. He told himself. But he couldn’t help it, your sex appeal was just so… fucking appealing.

“I bet he hits it on the first pitch” you say.

“I’ll take that bet” Sang Woo says. You father voiced his agreement. “Bet he misses it”

“Take your fucking drink old man” you say loudly. You stand and imitate his hit, a triple that brought in 2 runners. He watched your hips as they rotated with such ease. God, how he’d love to have his hands on you.

“I’ll bet you an entire pack of cigarettes and a bottle of whatever alcohol you choose that the Eagles chokes up in the final inning and the Lions win” Sang-Woo places a hearty bet.

“Oh you’re on.” You say. Your dad smiled and put a hand on your knee.

“Definitely my daughter, this one is” he tells Sang Woo.

“She takes shitty bets like you, too” Sang Woo jokes.

“Sang Woo has noooo idea what he talking about” You say, the drunkenness hitting you slightly. “The Eagles are not a losing team… and against the Lions please, they wouldn’t choke up in the final inning”

Around came the final inning, the teams were tied 3 to 3.

“I’ll add a second pack of cigarettes that the Eagles only scores 1” Sang Woo says.

“I’ll add a pack of gum that says the Lions only scores 1” you counter back.

“Deal” and there it went, the Lions was up to bat. A hit that scores a point, and got the third out.

“Damn it” you heard him mutter. You sat on the edge of your seat. First at bat was a choke, a clutch hit and on base to first. The second at bat was a base running out, a runner on third. The next batter, could mean a 2nd out or another on base.

“Oh suck it!!” You roared, second on base. All you needed was one batter to whack that ball out of the park.

“50,000 won says he misses” Sang Woo taps Gi Hun.

“100,000 says he hits a triple” Gi Hun counters his eyes staring at the screen.

“200,000 that he gets and out of the park” you chime in. You all pool your money on the table. You had all doubled up on your bets. You all sat quietly awaiting. 1 strike. You counted in your mind. 2 strikes. Sang Woo prayed there would be a third.

“And the batter hits a walk off. Oh my god, one of the greatest at bats South Korea has ever seen.” The announcer on tv roars.

“Fuckkkk” Sang Woo drawled. “Come on, pipsqueak. To the store we go” he sighed reluctantly as you picked up your money.

“Nah, let’s go tomorrow. There’s another game and we’ll need stuff to drink” you responded. He nodded in understanding. “Hey dad, where’s he sleeping?” You ask.

“I was gonna have him take the guest room since you’re back.” Your dad answers. You helped Dad into bed before setting up Sang Woo.

“Well, here’s fresh linens and a towel” you say. “Bathrooms the 2nd door on the left” You tell him before walking off to your room.

He made his bed. Putting on fresh pajamas and walked to the bathroom with his toothbrush. He walked past your room, stopping for a brief moment. You had your back to him, pulling up your shirt to reveal your spine tattoo. He shook his head and walked on, turning into the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and left.

Time skip: 2 am.

Sang Woo couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned but his aching cock wouldn’t let him relax. He decided he’d go out and smoke, hoping it’d calm him down.

As he lit his cigarette, he heard the front door open, your small figure appearing out of the shadows.

“Oh. Sang Woo” you said surprised. “What’re you doing up so late?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Decided I’d smoke to relax and try again. Yourself?” He asked as he fixed his glasses.

“I was going to do the same but I smoked my last cigarette while we were watching baseball. I’m on my way to get more”

“Oh, well, here.” He dug in his pocket pulling out a pack. You took one gratefully, holding your cigarette to the lighter he flicked open.

“Thanks” you took a deep inhale, “I’m still gonna go for some more”

“Ah we can do that tomorrow” he waved a hand. “We can share mine” you sat on the stairs and talked about your careers and college.

“So, your dad never mentioned anything about a boyfriend. You don’t have one? Or you just choose not to talk about it?”

“Ehhh, I’ve had a bad relationship in the best and just chose not to get into another one.” You said. “And you? No wife or kids?”

“No, none. A hook up here or there but I’m apparently hard to deal with” he laughs.

“Yeah, I agree. Real annoying” you say sarcastically. “I mean you seem perfectly fine. Make shitty bets but you know, other than that…”

“I do not make shitty bets” he said injured, causing a giggle to arise out of you. “If I’m being honest, that game you were watching, wasn’t live, it was from earlier today. I already knew the score. I just wanted a moment alone with you” he said honestly. You smile,

“Really?” You tilt your head. “I figured you’d be too… I dunno cold for that”

“What makes you think that?” His eyes searching yours.

“You’re just so calculated and deliberate. Messing with a 20 year old, much less, your best friends daughter, seemed too elementary for you.” He looked at you through his glasses, his eyes intense.

“Well is this deliberate enough for you?” He asked.

Taglist

@nakiio5775 @christinamadsen @sebbymybaby21 @xcinnamonmalfoyx @player279achlys @watasinekoru

[radiance1]

Tucker finds a game installed on his pda one day.

He didn't know where it came from, nor what it was supposed to be and it looked more high quality than a few other games he's seen. So what did he do with it? Surely he should've not touched it and tried to delete it, right?

He wouldn't be apart of team phantom if he didn't also embody the "Fuck it we ball" energy.

So he plays it, finds it to be some dating sim based on the title screen and went through a good fair portion of it, it was fairly normal, if not really up his alleyway of games. But it had its moments though.

Then came Monika.

He didn't know what to do with her, in all honesty. She seemed to be a sapient Ai trapped in a dating sim, which was weird but not that weird compared to everything else in all honesty. She also killed off her friends, though her reasoning was because they weren't real and that it was the only way for her to have a romance route.

Kinda extra in his opinion, but he can see the reasoning.

So what does he do? Rummage around in the game's coding and makes a route for her.

(He swore he saw another pair of hands indirectly helping him when he did it, too.)

Monika was downright ecstatic when he was finished with it, he outlined a route for her but then she just took control of it, coding in events, mini-games, gifts and other sorts of things for her route. She thanked him immensely for outlining a route for her, since even with all of her control she couldn't directly go against core programming when it came to herself like that.

He was glad to help her out, really, she seemed like a pretty nice person, pushed outside of her core programming because of her sapience. He even coded Monika outside of the game and let her roam around in his pda, which accidentally added another layer of protection to his firewalls, but he isn't complaining.

Then she wondered how it would be like in the real world, with him and everyone else.

It really just went off from there.

Jack and Maddie are genius inventors, and now that they no longer have such a driving, blinding hatred towards ghost due to their son being revealed as a halfa, they no longer spend all of their time on ghost themed weapons and stuff.

So he went to them, showed them Monika (Which they were extremely impressed with) and decided to help him in building her a body! Probably also because they liked the challenge of building a body too, but meh.

Tucker drew up a design based on Monika's wishes, and tweaked it a bit here and there to ensure perfect human functionality.

Monika told Jack and Maddie that they didn't need to spend too much effort on it, since she would be fine with just a body, but Jack went no and they went all in. Did Tucker know what they were using to built her body? No, no he did not.

Apparently they made her body out of some rare metal they obtained from Vlad, who is trying very hard to redeem and put himself back in the Fenton's good graces after having some sense knocked into him, a rare metal called nth metal that Vlad apparently lost a lot trying to get, even had to use less then clean methods to get, but not anything he can't make back in a while.

Her blood was ectoplasm, with a fully functional heart made from the same metal and basically every other organs as well. Her brain was basically a supercomputer that'll let her connect to the internet whenever she wants, as well as allow her access to wifi from virtually wherever.

Her skin was made from another metal, one that imitated the feel and look of human skin, while also being more durable. They also added in features that'll simulate touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing as well!

Monika was honestly floored when she was downloaded into the body, it was much, much more than she had asked for and she didn't even know if she could repay them for it. To which Jack and Maddie just waved off because the chance to make a body from scratch out of a rare metal that was basically just gonna lie there for a sapient Ai wasn't one that would come often, so the experience was invaluable honestly!

Monika tried out everything she could after that, just happy to be among real people after becoming aware. She could finally be with her boyfriend, physically, no longer bound by a wall between them.

Then a while later, she may have accidentally hacked into what Tucker later told her was the Justice League Watchtower. It wasn't even her fault, she just wanted to hack into a nearby satellite, honest!

It's not like Tucker could talk, really. He's been hacking into the local government database for a while now, and why, it's not like he could do better, could he?

He saw a challenge when he saw one, and he should shy away from it because it was the Justice League.

But

So then the both of them competed to see who could hack into the Justice League database the fastest. A romance game Ai who grew sapience and got into the real world, versus a guy who's insanely smart and good at hacking who got her into the real world.

Of course it couldn't have been that easy, though, and really, it wouldn't have been a true challenge is they didn't engage in a cyber battle against the people they're hacking into, right?

Meanwhile, the Justice League is watching as Batman, Tim, and Oracle is fighting against two unknowns hacking into their database and having what is no doubt a cyber battle of such intensity they're wondering how the hell that keyboard is still standing against how fast their fingers are flying across it.

Some of them can swear they can see Batman release an aura of impressed, annoyed, and amused all at once.

[hazyaltcare]

Typing Quirk Suggestions for a Robot kin

I hope it gives you a wonderful uptime! :3

Mod Vintage (⭐)

Letter replacements:

Replace "O" with zeroes "0"

Replace "i" or "L" with ones "1"

Replace "one" with "1", including "one" sounds like "any1", or "we 1 = we won" (the past tense of "win")

Replace "zero" with "0"

Frankly, you can just replace all sorts of letters with numbers, such as

R = 12

N = 17

B = 8

A = 4

E = 3

etc.

or maybe make all "A"s and "i"s capitalized, cause "A.I." (artificial intelligence

Prefixes and Suffixes:

Get inspired by programming languages!

Begin your text with "//" like a comment on C++

If you prefer other languages comment tags, you can use "< !--your text-- >"

Or maybe begin it with " int main () { std::cout << "your text"" and end with "return 0; }" like C++ too

Greet people with the classic "Hello world!"

Or greet people with "beep boop!" honestly, I have no idea where this comes from, but it's cute.

Or write down html stuff, like sandwiching your italicized text with "< em> "

The possibilities are endless!

Robot Lingo:

(under the cut because there's a LOT! maybe terabytes! ...just kidding >;3c)

.

some of these are from the machinesoul.net robot server! (not sponsored) (we're not in there anymore, but we saw the robot lingo shared there when we were)

Fronting = logged in, connected

Not fronting = logged out, disconnected

Conscious = activated

Dormant = deactivated

Blurry = no signal

Upset, angry = hacked

Small = bits, bytes

Bite = byte

Huge = gigabytes, terabytes, etc.

Your intake of food, medicine, etc. = input

Your artwork, cooking, handiwork, handwriting, etc. = output

Body = chassis, unit

Brain = CPU, processor

Mind = program, code

Imagination = simulation

Purpose = directive

Nerves = wires

Skin = plating

Organs = (function) units

Limbs = actuators

Eyes = ocular sensors

Glasses = HUD (head's up display)

Hair = wires

Ears = antennae, audio sensors

Nose = olfactory sensors

Heart = core

Liver = detoxification unit

Circulatory system = circuits

Voice = speaker, voice module, voice box

Mouth = face port

Name = designation

Sleep = sleep mode, low power mode, charging

Eat = fuel, batteries

Energy = batteries

Tired = low on batteries

Translate = compile

Memory = data, database

Bed = recharge pod/charger

Dreaming = simulation

Birthday = day of manufacture

Talking = communicating

Thinking = processing

Transitioning = modifying your chassis

Depression = downtime

Joy = uptime

Trash = scrap metal

Fresh/Clean = polished

Keysmashing = random 1s and 0s

Self-care = system maintenance

Going to the doctor = trip to the mechanic

Group = network

Anyone = anybot

[thatdeadaquarius]

Imagine a horribly clumsy creator in the sagau... like trips over their own feet, starts coughing due to choking on air randomly, knocking a vase off a table that was in the middle of the table somehow???? Silly goofy stuff like that (I pull these silly goofs often personally)

(obv goes w/o saying sorry for being so late to reply /gen) ;-;

clumsy reader is so me core idk why i didnt think of this lmao

(this gif is liek the modern equivalent of Charlotte posting ur embarrassing clumsy moments on insta Steambird acc lmao)

(so sometimes im lazy and dont include the ask stuff esp if its shorter like this, so here's at least the characters in this one: Fontaine ppl <3 along with a G for general audience, barring cuss words)

Navia would politely ask you to go the edge or whatever area ur in whenever she pulls out her cannons/guns LMAO

every time you and either Clorinde or Neuvillette are walking next to you, or doing rlly anything, its like night and day

ur out here finding all the cracks in the sidewalk, bumping everything that could even possibly have a liquid in it, and have constant bruises from hip checking/stubbing toes on mechas walking around

Clorinde is impressed at that point bc mechas are actively programmed to get out of your way, so how u managed to put them back into ur way rlly fascinates her 😭😭

Neuvillette would like to wrap u in fabric/bubble wrap equivalent for his old ass, in an attempt to desperately stop u from hurting urself lol

u get a new coat or new pants from him all the time, u just thought at first he was rlly into giving u Fontaine fashion until Furina pointed out that it was spring/summer and you wouldn't wear thick woolen pants and fur-lined coats everyday 💀

(poor dragon guy doesn't rlly get the practical side of clothes, he likes fashion, but he inadvertently subscribes to the "hoes don't get cold" philosophy by being an ancient dragon lord)

Wriothesley is unfortunately nice enough to constantly try and catch his poor god, which ends well for neither of you 50% of the time

its not even ur weight takes him down, he's buff as hell after all, and he's dealt with rowdy inmates, its just.. ur clumsiness spreads.

if ur tripping, and the poor Duke reaches out to catch you, ur reaching out at the same time to steady urself on a side table w/a vase full of water, which u then knock off, drenching ur back and his face at the same time LMAO

he doesn't learn, despite u literally begging him to stop trying to help u, then u try and compromise to just let u fall and help u afterward asdfghkl-

Wrio's too chivalrous tho, the most u can get him to do is always grab ur arm instead of trying to bodily catch you

if u think after the first like, ✌️ TWO times Lynette is willing to help you, u r so wrong lmao

she's seen her brothers clumsiness, she knows theres no saving u

she does comfort u after slipping (not even falling but just flailing dramatically) for the 5th time in the puddles around water fountains tho

Lyney and Freminet are lowkey legit convinced someones cursed their god atp 😰

Freminet always had bandaids for u, and Lyney keeps a supply of ur fav candy to cheer u up after embarrassing urself by falling ass backwards right into the Fountain of Lucine right in front of Opera house lmao

...

...Charlotte thinks this is all vv hilarious, no she has no respect for ur godliness, her archon was Furina like LMAO- IM SORRYYY

(she has started a small section in the steambird of a near daily- DAILY picture of u being clumsy 😭)

(u, not srsly, threaten to smite her and she just giggles)

(its ok they take it all in a cute/endearing trait type of way)

☆

again, sorry for lateness, when i reopen askbox (soon, FINALLY-)

ill try and stay more on top of it and try and sort whatre just chats/non-requests better too 😭😭

hope u guys are having a good week!! tysm for being patient and nice to me :')

Safe Travels Kai,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue

@kiyomi-uchiha777

<3