#I have no idea if Im doing the programming stuff right
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thebrokenmechanicalpencil · 4 months ago
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A Look.
( @quibble-auk I wanted to explore the Swap au Comet some more, figure out his personality without the Spidey senses and Pretender stuff. I played with your concept of programming a bit, more of my own thoughts on the servant class. Maybe I'm not overdoing it-)
Comet hadn’t been able to sleep that night, recharge not on his Master’s list of chores for him to complete. 
Instead the young mech was forced to run errands between the Architect and the Artisan all night. Back and forth to and fro, carrying datapads color, swatches, and material listings. Cometeater wondered why they couldn’t have their offices closer. The reason for such an odd system was that the Artisan enjoyed his highgrade, and adored a large personal studio away from the main towers, especially while he chipped away at a project for the families. Said families would never risk ruining his artistic mood, and they themselves would never do something as lowly as deliveries.  Why not send pictures? Well the pictures never caught the form or the color correctly, that's what he assumed from the drunken ramblings of the Artisan. 
Comet had stood stock still for two hours as the mech worked, ready to deliver his progress at any moment. Stiff and optics lowered, he waited. 
Eventually Nisis shooed him, saying that his work would take more time. That the servant’s hovering was destroying his focus. Comet had bowed low, optics never moving from the floor. 
Silently taking his leave, his programming whirring angrily in his chest. Bowing to the Masters was a movement he had practiced till it was second nature. A slow bend at the waist if being dismissed, keeping your movement smooth and graceful.
Yet it made part of him angry. Some alien piece of him hated the feeling. Comet had been cuffed more than once for allowing his displeasure to show in a twitch of his plating. 
“A servant is placid, a shadow and an extra hand to the Master, bite than hand boy and you lose yours.”
Comeater sighed deeply as he passed the lavish halls, the older servants beginning their days. Quickly and without even a glance they flitted past him. Comet couldn’t help but cut his eyes up at them.
Servants were beautiful mechs. Their colors are inviting and comforting, never pastels or bright eye catching shades. The hues always complemented their master’s paints, embellishments from their master’s pallet dotted and painted in lovely patterns on their plating. 
To be a servant of a house was to be like a painting in the hall, if your servants were beautiful then your status showed with every movement they made. A splendid house would be decorated in the flawless mechs, themselves part of the house itself. 
Companions, status symbols. 
Being a decoration to a family, honoring the Masters was all any servant could ever live for. Providing comfort, advice, anything beckoned of them. 
Comet couldn’t help but be in awe of them. 
He had to be chosen by a family however to become one of them. 
Cometeater sighed deep in his chest as he manoeuvred past the mechs, avoiding the gazes of Guardians when he could. 
The large intimidating sentinels you could almost miss if you were not careful, but Comet knew they would never miss you. Acting suspicious in any way would have you on a list in their minds, Comet couldn’t afford that. He wasn’t exactly supposed to be out this early, not that his Master cared.
Soon he reached the servants door that would lead him down to the  quarters, a section of the wall that when pressed on, opened with no fanfare. He looked side to side, checking for the echo of footsteps or murmurs within the passage. 
Comet heard none.
In a flurry he flew down the stairwell like a bird, he let himself smile as he did it three steps at a time. The airtime from the leaps causing giggles to bubble in his chest. 
Finally he was alone. 
Finally he could cut up just a bit. 
Comet laughed to himself as he went, the tired aches forgotten in the thrill of finally loosening his shoulders. Moving as fast as he wanted, no Master to cuff him for the childish twirl he did when he hit the bottom at a spark hammering speed. Breathing fast, he couldn’t stop grinning, continuing to spin, arms outstretched with his left over momentum. 
Comets laughter echoed through the passageway, dizziness and the thrill of being alone egging him on. He finally came to a halt leaning up along the wall, breaths deep and optics glowing brightly in the dim light.  Cometeater laid in the exhilaration for as long as he could, now with all of his training and chores he hardly ever had time to feel like this. He smirked, it almost felt like flipping off his Master. 
See you stupid ugly fragger?
He could have fun, do whatever he wanted. 
Comet felt his spark hum, his programming stuttering at the insults, the love of control. Some darker part of Comet crowed, the part of himself that had been numbed and blocked. But still showed its quills. Showed him what it felt like to control, to try and dominate.
He was supposed to report the thoughts to his superior, but Comet was infatuated with knowing something those slaggers didn’t. Having something that was his. 
It made him feel so perfect, why would he let them take that away?
His drunken happiness was cut short however by yells above, thundering steps down the stairs. 
Comet hardly moved in time to avoid the Guards as they rushed past.
He couldn’t help but be surprised when one of them stopped, optics fiery with clicking programming. Comet allowed his own to take root, bidding goodbye to his heated other, keeping him from reacting to the sudden intensity of the gaze.
“Are you alright?”
The guard's voice was close to winded, Comet nodded his servant programming purring at the attention, that he had asked him something. He wanted desperately to ask what was happening, so before his jaw would lock he let it slip.
“Why what's happened?” 
The guard only scowled down at him, “You shouldn’t even be out here boy, younglings are supposed to be in their designated areas till released by your Master.”
Comet’s programming snapped up the attention like a starving dog, the need to please, to help. He also felt his curiosity flare.
“I was doing errands for the Architect, did something happen?”
There was a childish lilt to his voice that seemed to make the guard soften, a look of protectiveness flashing over him.
“One of the guards found a dead mech on the east gate Sparklet,” the warmth vanished before Comet could get a proper glimpse of it, the guard answering his com. Then his faceplate hardened. “That means you should get back to your barracks, now. I don't want to catch you out and about again by yourself. Got it?”
Comet felt a sulkiness rear its head, but his innards begged to please. “Yessir.”
The armored mech nodded, but did not move. Comet sighed in realization, like all guardians the mech wouldn’t just leave him till he knew he’d follow orders.
Comet gave a bow, and turned on his heel for the barracks. He knew the guardian wouldn’t leave till the younger bot was out of sight, so Comet with a sad grumble accepted that his time for play was over.
He had work to do.
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victheclown · 2 years ago
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So fun fact while I haven't talked about it here specifically much yet for a while now I've been working on a potential concept for a mod with friends of mine, and heres some characters already actually (all except the first guy, we arent sure about him yet)
The first two are actually friends OCs too in a way so uhhh the @local-angst-satan-diinosour11 @lordflarus your goobers
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moreaujeans · 1 year ago
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my prof giving us an exam on content he can’t even do himself <3
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kalashtars · 2 years ago
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planning classes has me going "hehehe *kicking my feet*" but i know as soon as i actually have to attend those classes my brain is going to be like "😐😐😐"
#damien.txt#having a revival of a very specific academic fascination bc my brain decided that rereading if we were villains is a good idea#which is like. one of the main driving forces behind my interest in history & english#and now im like................. hehe shakespeare#to be fair. the plan was always to take shakespeare next semester. the plan has been to take the shakespeare class since i started undergra#because quite literally i have been interested in shakespeare since i was 11 so. this is a long term interest#but now my brain is like hehe...... what if....... shakespeare ma#BITCH. where did this come from. hello????#first of all. do you know how many shakespeare ma programs exist in the world? like 4.#second. brain what. where is this coming from#and now it's trying to convince me of stupid things like 'you should try and learn latin again'#in what WORLD have i ever enjoyed learning latin (<- i have literally studied latin 3 seperate times in my life)#the answer is never. i have never enjoyed it. and i have hardly retained any of it#but ohhhhh boy the urge.... The Urges....#this specific mood always comes up whenever i get back into dark academia stuff again bc i am predictable and not unique#and i always get back into dark academia when it starts to get cold outside bc it's like something awakens within me#that goes 'oh right. we like academia. also the aesthetic hits' and i go FUCK. YOU'RE RIGHT.#but also here i am. writing this tumblr text post instead of doing my actual academics. so. it's all fake anyways#oh! but im very hype abt this shakespeare class actually#bc i think we might have a performance project.... which probably im going to dread when i actually have to do it#but <3<3<3<3<3 i love performing shakespeare so much. it's so much fun to me.#said like a true theater kid fr but. truly and honestly i miss doing that the most from theatre. and i didn't even really get to do it much#mostly just when i got to pick monologues out to do in class in between performances and stuff like that#so. i am a little bit hype. to do that. hopefully it is actually fun and not a complete drag#okay okay im done ranting
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paper-mario-wiki · 10 months ago
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wait so how did you get a "boring" office job? did you have to go to college or did you just apply for basic stuff and work your way up from there?
it was 100% through connections.
i mean, i actually GOT the job and have been able to KEEP the job because i'm smart and capable and good at doing things and have made the company a lot of money, but if i didn't know the right people i would not have even had a chance at it, and it would be disingenuous of me to pretend otherwise.
most of the moment-to-moment skills i use for clerical work (the majority of my job) i gained in highschool through my fascination with computers + all of the programming and software classes i took.
the business and accounting classes i took in university primed me for a basic understanding of how to run a company (or at least how to manage one, as my exact title is "Business Manager"), and all of my anthropology and sociology studies have given me a pretty keen insight for communication, which comes in major handy in a corporate setting. i was able to latch onto Corpo Speak pretty quickly, which has proven to be an indispensable skill (if a bit soul-sucking to utilize).
i got this job after receiving 0 work or callbacks from Indeed after applying to dozens of jobs over several months, which is a very difficult idea to reconcile with for me. i feel like im pretty capable, but apparently people whose job it is to give other people jobs don't agree. in spite of this, in 2 years ive generated hundreds of thousands of dollars of revenue for the company that decided to hire me because the owner saw me down on my luck and wanted to give me a break.
so i have to wonder, are we stupid, or are the companies stupid?
it's the companies. ive seen it firsthand. with this job, i go to business events and meet some of the most gullible people ive ever come across, and they're all CEOs.
they're so ravenously shortsighted with regards to their quarterly profit margins that they'd chase a 5 dollar bill the wind blew off a cliff for their shareholders. or more accurately, they'd push one of their minimum wage workers off the cliff to grab it.
because of that shortsightedness, conditions are getting worse, employment terms are becoming shorter, companies are shuttering left and right, pays are stagnant or lowering, and the growing number of people this inhuman greed affects are becoming more and more restless.
if you can't get a job in 2024, there's a very good chance it's not your fault. you shouldn't give up (unfortunately for now we still need to earn money to live in society), but try not to forget that.
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ebsmind · 6 months ago
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My Little Treasure | president!Nico Hischier x fem!reader
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summary : being the presidents mistress isn’t easy. even when another woman comes out saying she’s having an affair with him.
word count : 8.5k (the longest ive ever written BE PROUD OF ME)
warning(s) : this is purely based off of shonda rhimes SCANDAL sjiwiejdj, angst, longing (kinda? idk), cheating/infidelity (nellie deserves better), reader pushes her feeling aside, timo being called nico’s personal bitch AHAHAHA, murder (mentioned in case), non accurate descriptions of politics and law stuff, like 2-3 mentions of vomit , use of Y/N (I tried not too but I just couldn't), tbh there’s not a lot of nico x reader IM SORRY part 2 will make up for it, heavy makeout session, smut kinda? idk but next part will be smutty TRUST, getting caught by timo (what the hell Timo), VIOLENCE aka just a slap in the face, one flashback spicy scene and i think that's it!
a/n : LISTEN LISTEN before i say ANYTHING i just wanted to say that i know nico isn’t american but im currently hyper fixated on him and only him and i just started watching scandal again SO I HAD TO so please if you don’t like the “accuracy” don’t read it! this is FICTIONAL but yeah here we are! this closely follows the first episode from season 1! this is a long oneeeee! i’ve also changed the names of Abby, Quinn, Harrison, Huck, AND Cyrus (you’ll see who I change him with 😏) I also go along with the case that’s happening so this is semi like a mystery but not? idk how to explain but you’ll see as you read. send me something in my inbox if you want me to elaborate on anything about the side characters! i definitely want to turn this into an au so send me something so i can write about it or talk about it! here’s the mood board! this is also my second time writing anything spicy so please bear with me, this whole fic idea really had me out of my comfort zone so it isn't my best writing but I still wanted to get this out!
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The clicks of your So Kate’s are heard throughout the law firm. Everyone knows it’s you, just by the way you walk. It’s swift and carries determination, you are on a mission. You present yourself with a sense of purpose to your colleagues. Scratch that, they’re family. Despite them technically being your coworkers, you would do anything for the four of them. From saving Gwen from her violent ex-husband to Kurt, a soldier who had served in the United States CIA’s top secret, off the books, B-613 program who ended up being dumped on the streets to beg for food, you saved them and they were all you had. 
You step into the standard-sized conference room, and the extensive window along the back wall displays an orange-to-blue hue. The sun is setting and making it known that the end of the day is near. You first make eye contact with Blair, the senior associate at the firm. She stops her conversation amongst everyone and before she can greet you, Kurt, who is sitting at the very right end of the table, utters, “Perla Schmitz killed herself, channel 5.” 
You make no time to strut to the table and grab the TV remote, which had been sitting next to Blair. You don’t need to change the channel once you press the power button on the remote, it’s all you watch in the firm—across the 55’ inch screen, displayed in bold lettering ‘Perla Schmitz (26) found dead in her home’. You take a second to yourself. Perla had been caught cheating on her husband, who was a very conservative congressman, but that wasn’t the icing on the cake. The guy she was having an affair with? He murdered her husband, brutally. 27 stab wounds to the chest, his head almost decapitated because of how much force was used to slit his throat. If someone were to ask you, you’d say she had it coming. 
You turn to the group and raise a finger in the air as you start to speak. “We knew this was coming, let’s not pretend that she wasn’t the one cheating on her husband.” 
Perla came into your office late last Friday night, around 11:25. You had stayed longer than you originally wanted to, needing to finish up some paperwork that had to be done for one of the previous clients you had. What a way to bring in the new year, but you weren’t complaining. 
“Exactly! I knew she didn’t have enough willpower to continue her life. She took the easy way out, man.” You take a seat at the left end side of the table, parallel to Kurt while Neil, another associate and close friend of yours finishes his veracious remark. You decide it’s best to tell Neil and everyone else to drop the topic, but before you can open your mouth, the firm doors open. The 7-foot ebony-colored wood doors reveal a man with black hair and blue eyes, maybe mid to late 20s. The first thing you notice is how his eyes tear up before he speaks, not how he’s covered in blood. 
“I-…I didn’t kill her I swear! She was my best friend, we were gonna get married!” 
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Your irises scan over the pinned evidence on the whiteboard, it had been approximately 18 hours since the 6’2 blood blood-covered man had walked into your firm. Sully St. James comes from an extremely well-respected family. His father was a Veteran from the Vietnam War. Sully himself had done two tours in Iraq and received the Medal of Honor. Having someone as well respected as him, show up to the front door of your firm, asking for help wasn’t new but you were determined to help the man not get convicted as the killer in his girlfriend’s murder case. You needed time, but the US attorney general David Rosen was stubborn. 
“Okay! So, according to Sully, he had just come home from the bar down on 9th St, called SOST, he then walked into the bathroom where the crime scene is, saw Paige’s body on the ground,” Blair points out and before she can finish her sentence Kurt cuts her off. 
“Paige suffered from 2 bullets to the chest and 1 to the head. This wasn’t a freak accident, someone wanted her dead.” Kurt crosses his arms and moves up from the far end of the table. He was correct, but your gut couldn’t help but wail that Sully was not the cause. 
Blair continues to explain the approximate details, “Here’s the weird part, Sully calls the police but before they can get there he flies, and he flies here.” She takes a step away from the whiteboard and makes eye contact with you. She can sense what you’re already going to say. Blair knows you, and she knows you like the back of her hand. 
“My gut tells me that he didn’t do this. Something is missing. I need more, all of you need to try to find something, anything! Anything that can clear this man’s alibi. He said it himself that he loved her and that she was his best friend. I believe him.” You step up from the chair you were sitting in and start heading towards the conference room doors when your cell phone starts to ring. Grabbing it out of your left pocket, the name “Timo Meier” is displayed across the screen. You huff in response. 
He needs you right now and you know if Timo were to tell you to head to the White House as soon as possible you would and it wouldn’t end in a way you would like. Yet, you still manage to press the green button, confirming the call. 
“What do you want.” You’re busy and Timo knows it. This isn’t some ‘Oh hi! How are you doing? I haven’t heard from you in a while phone call. Timo didn’t have time for that, being the White House’s Chief of Staff to Nico Hischiers personal bitch, he never had time.
Timo sighs, you can already picture him, sitting at his desk, elbow resting on it, his thumb and pointer finger trying to relieve his throbbing headache. Timo did so much for the President of the United States and somehow that included calling you on a random Tuesday afternoon. 
“He needs you to come in. Something happened and we need you to make it go away.” Timo lets you take a second to respond. Already sensing that the situation was substandard, it had been months since you had last spoken to Timo and maybe even half a year since you’ve seen Nico. Physically. It wasn’t that you hated him, you could never. It was the fact you left your position as the White House Communications Director for yourself. Everything you did was always for Nico and never not you and when the realization of that hit you, it was time to go. It’s time to separate yourself from some fantasy that only ever works out in the books. The feeling of two hands wrapped around your throat finally caught up to you. 
“I’ve got a client sitting in my conference room Timo.” 
“Look, I know, I know, but this isn’t something that needs to be out in the public. Make it go away. Please. If not for him, for me.” He’s desperate and you know it. If you were to tell him that the only reason you were about to agree was because you held him in such high regard, you’d never hear the end of it. So, you keep your reply as simple as needed. 
“Okay, I’ll be there in 45 minutes. I need to let Neil know.” 
You spot Timo before he spots you. He’s sat on a bench, perhaps getting some proper vitamin D. You watch the way his foot taps every other millisecond. Being cooped up in a mediocre-sized office in the White House can make someone feel insane, you’ve been there. 
As you get closer, you examine the navy blue suit that he’s dressed in. It’s his favorite one, he has 3 more pairs of it because he wears it so much. His tie has gold accents on it, it’s from his wife. You had helped her pick it out for him since you had seen him a lot more than she did. His eyes are heavy, he’s needs a vacation, a long one to be exact. You’ll let Nico know if you ever see him again, maybe he can pull some strings for him even if it’s a nice (long-awaited) expensive dinner.
You walk up the concrete steps before reaching Timo, the only thing grabbing his attention is the click of your heels. Once he realizes that you have walked up to him, you open your mouth to greet him. 
“What.” Timo giggles, he’s knows you mean business but he can’t deny he misses your presence around in the White House even if you were telling him off half of the time. 
“Well, hello to you too.” He stands up and gestures to start walking with him. You obey and within a second you guys stride across the walkway that overlooks the White House. 
“What do you need me for Timo? I don’t work for him anymore.” 
“He needs a favor.” You scoff at Timo and choose not to say anything.
“You still came. You came when I called.” His words hit you like a bus. It stings. Both you and Timo know that whenever the President needs anything from you, you’ll be there in a heartbeat. You’d do anything for everyone you love. You were loyal. That’s how it always had been and why Nico wanted you there every step of the way. He knew that he could turn his back and not expect a knife to be plunged into it. 
“Her name is Vanessa Wyatt. She works in AIDE. She claims to have had an affair with him. I need you to make it go away and fast.” Timo places his right arm on his abdomen, in response you hook your left one into his right and walk side by side with Timo. 
“Is it true?” You try to show no reaction but green envy begins to boil in your stomach.
“No, of course not, but I need you to shut it down.” 
“I need to see him.” You don’t think about your reply until after it leaves your mouth. Both you and Timo come to an abrupt stop. He takes a step back and faces you. 
“No, I don’t think that’s possible.” 
“You want me to shut her up? Then I need to look at him in the eyes and know he’s not lying.” Timo knows that you're serious. You always are. 
“The President’s schedule is packed. He has no time to see you.” He’s straightforward, Timo doesn’t have time for negotiating but luckily for you, you’re a persuasive person. You tend to always get what you want even if it means overstepping some boundaries. 
“He wants my services but here’s the thing Timo, I do not work for him anymore! So, tell him to make time to see me if not you’re just gonna have to find someone else to do it for you. You know where to find me.” 
After giving Timo a faint smile, you turn to walk away. As one foot goes in front of the other, you can’t help but feel that some part of this story is true making your heart ache.
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By the time you get back to your office, you get a phone call from Timo, confirming that Nico managed to get out of a meeting so that he could talk to you. With that, you grab your coat off the coat rack and start heading towards the conference room to let at least Gwen know about your abrupt departure. 
“Hey Gwen, duty calls at the White House, I’ll be back in a couple of hours. Anything new?” Gwen knows you’re talking about the case and before she utters anything new she’s found, she strides to the door and closes it. 
Knowing that Sully is just in the room next door, she lowers her voice, “Kurt managed to get into Paige’s email and I’ve been reading. I found one where she emailed a friend. She was supposed to meet up with a friend at the embassy party together but never showed.” 
You nod your head to show that you understand but it’s not enough information to be able to explain why Paige was murdered so, you request more information. 
“Who? and Why?” Keep it simple. 
Gwen takes about a second before she replies, “A girl named Ariel, and I don’t know why.” 
“Find out why. ‘I don’t know’ is not an answer I’m gonna take.” That sentence leaves your mouth as fast as lightning strikes the Earth’s outermost crust. 
To other people, your reply would’ve been seen as impolite but to you and everyone at the firm, it was just that ‘I don’t know’ wouldn’t get you anywhere in a case. Especially when so much is at stake.
“I won’t be long Gwen. Tell Blair and she’ll go interview the friend.”
Once you arrive at the White House you are led to Timo’s office. It’s nice and spacious, with a window that overlooks a garden. Nellie’s garden. A sour taste forms in your mouth. The garden is small, not as big as Jacqueline Kennedy’s garden but Nellie insisted she needed her own. You were told moments ago that she’d be attending this “meeting” and as much as you dislike it, you can’t help but feel empathy for Nellie. She was nothing but nice to you when Nico hired you as the manager for his campaign. It sucked most that you went not even a month later you started sleeping with her husband. 
The combined noises of clothes rustling and heavy breaths consume the aura of the small hotel room. It’s unbelievable how an innocent dinner between two ‘colleagues’ can turn outright sexual within two hours, but you weren’t complaining. Maybe it was the two glasses of cabernet sauvignon that your unconscious level of operation had convinced you to drink. 
Nico places open-mouthed kisses from behind your ear, down to the spot on your breast that the black lace push-up bra doesn’t cover. The white ironed shirt, that had been covering your bra, had been tossed over your head about 15 minutes ago and the black midi skirt was currently being tugged down your hips. As for Nico, all to go was the baby blue dress shirt he wore, and the black tie. Which had been taken off right when the two of you entered the room. His dark navy blue pants remained on the list of clothes that needed to be discarded.  
You take a second to admire Nico’s disheveled hair. The thought of pulling it with your fingers when he whispers sweet nothing’s into your core flashes across your mind. Nico cuts off that thought once his lips make contact with yours. It’s messy and filled with need. The months of longing stares, mainly from him, were finally catching up. You take notice that your black skirt is now pooled at your feet. You take a step out of them, in a haze, the action bringing you closer to Nico. He steadies you by placing his hands on your hips. His fingertips graze the matching black lace panties you paired with your bra. He smirks into the kiss at the thought of you planning it out. 
Nico takes small steps, notifying you to do the same but backward, and guides you to the small light wooden desk against the wall opposite of the bed. The back of your thighs hit the desk and with a swift motion, Nico grabs you at the waist and sets you to sit on top of it. A quick gasp escapes your naturally pouty lips and with that, Nico gets on his knees. 
Timo snaps you out of that thought fairly quickly, “Well hello, long time no see!”
He’s being sarcastic, but you waste no time to get to the point. 
“I was told Nellie was going to be here. She knows about this?”
Timo nods, acknowledging your words, and replies, “It’s not like how it was during the election. The isolation of the White House bonded them, their marriage is as strong as ever.” 
Before you can react to Timos statement, Nellie comes barging into the room. 
“Y/N!” 
You fake a smile, deep down you could never hate Nellie. No matter how hard you try. “Nellie, hi! How are you doing?!” Faking your enthusiastic response, you can’t help but feel guilty. It wasn’t hard to read Nellie, so you could tell she missed your presence around in the White House. Once Nellie reaches you she engulfs you in a heartwarming hug. She rubs your back and soaks in the moment, reminiscing an old friendship.
You’re the first to step away and once you create a small fragment of distance, Nellie answers your question.
“I’m doing well! It’s taking some time getting used to you not being here but I’m managing. How’s the firm?”
“We’re doing well over there. It’s been busy but I like being occupied…can never get enough of it.” You chuckle at the tiny comment you make and Nellie goes to carry the conversation but comes to a halt when the double doors to Timo’s office open once again. 
You told yourself, on the drive over to the White House, that you would keep things strictly professional but Nico always managed to make that very hard. Not only that, you still deeply cared for the man and he did the same as well. But the moment you saw his face everything you had prepared yourself for had expeditiously faded away. You can’t even process the moment, that he’s here and physically in front of you until he’s shaking your hand. 
The last time you saw Nico was at a charity gala in late June. Five months after you left. You only managed to stay for an hour until everything felt overwhelming. Your chest felt like it was being compressed by an unseen entity, and bile was rising in your throat. Nico had tried his best to talk to you but with Nellie by his side and her pregnancy rumors, he couldn’t. It broke his heart when he saw the tears in your eyes. You’d felt betrayed but also knew that being the President’s mistress meant that you never came first. Even if he lied to you and said that you did. 
“Y/N, It’s good to see you.” He’s keeping it simple. He can’t show too much vulnerability, there are still two people in the room. 
“Likewise, Mr. President.” You drop your hand first from the handshake and look closely at Nico. He shaved two days ago, you can tell by the stubble sitting on the lower half of his face. It has just grown enough to the point where if he could get on his knees in front of you, you’d feel it scratch your inner thighs. 
“Shall we take a walk?” Timo kindly suggests. 
The three of you decide to chat in Jacqueline Kennedy Garden. With the company of two secret service members but you don’t mind. 
It may be January but the pansies are still in season. You walk up and admire the some that are purple. You notice that in the outer part of the petal, they’re royal purple, but towards the center, they’re light purple - almost a lilac color. That would be a nice color for a wedding. You’re too busy admiring the flowers that don’t notice the sound of footsteps approaching until the person has already reached you. It’s Nico. You don’t even need to look to know it’s him. He clears his throat before starting the conversation with you. 
“I know you have your hands full with the Sully St. James situation so, thank you for doing this, for me.” He turns to look at you. God you’ve missed him. 
Timo walks up behind you and the president, the two secret service agents aren’t too far behind. He pulls out a beige file folder and speaks. 
“Her name is Vanessa Wyatt.” You take hold of the folder and open it up. 
“I know.” 
“Well if you let me finish- anyways, she’s 25. I’ve heard rumors that she might be talking.” Timo states and looks off into the distance. It’s nice and sunny outside, but not even for it to take the edge off the cold. You take a look at what she looks like. She must be new, or at least got hired after you resigned. She’s cute but looking at her makes you feel nauseated. You push that feeling aside, it’s best at what you do. 
“But you can’t fire her. At least not without a shit show going off.” Both Timo and Nico nod. Nico has yet to say anything. You find it odd but push that thought aside. You know Nico wouldn’t do this. 
“Look, she hasn’t gone to the press, so best shut it down before she opens her mouth.” Timo’s phone rings and he excuses himself to take the call. It’s just you and Nico. A part of you doesn’t want to ask him the long-awaited question but you still do it anyways.
“I have to ask, did you do it?” You look up at him for the first time after reaching the garden. All you see are his eyes, they’re identical to the color of the way he takes his coffee. 
“No. I would never do that.” Nico pauses but doesn’t break the eye contact. You’re starting to feel light-headed. Your heart wants to believe him but there’s someone in your ear screaming that he isn’t telling the truth. 
“You’ve known me for a long time. Most of my time has been spent with you. You know I would never, ever fall for some girl. You know there’s only one girl I truly love.” He accentuates the last sentence. Only you know he’s talking about you. It’s a secret embedded between the two of you. You feel warm, not the bad kind, but the warm and comfy kind. He knows you need reassurance, he knows you think he’s lying, and he knows that if he did do it, it would be unforgivable. It feels like time is passing by slowly, you’re lost in his pools of melted chocolate-like irises. He never once, looked away. He’s telling the truth. 
“We’re due to be back now!” Looking back, you see Timo. He’s about 15 feet away, but he’s walking towards both Nico and you. 
“I’ll handle it. Consider it handled.” You look away. A burning sensation hits the back of your eye sockets. You feel like crying but you won’t let the tears fall.
Once Timo reaches you he wraps his arms around you and the President’s shoulders. 
“The band is back together!”
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One hour. One hour is how much time you had given Gwen to find anything and everything about Vanessa Wyatt and boy did she find something. 
Gwen walks beside you, to your left. The pace you’ve set is fast, it wasn’t like you had all day. You had a firm to run and a man’s destiny in your hands. Vanessa Wyatt was just a fork in the road. You had a plan and with enough convincing, she’d end up on a bus to Wisconsin in the morning.
“You’re acting as my witness. Just shut up and listen to what I say. Do not engage with her.” Both you and Gwen had been following Vanessa around Easy Potomac Park for approximately seven minutes. You took immediate notice that she was accompanied by her dog, a golden retriever. Gwen had whispered something about it being adorable, to you it was an amazing conversation starter, a way to get in, and a vulnerability point for Vanessa. 
Vanessa’s quick to take a seat on a bench, overlooking the Potomac River. You waste no time to walk up to her and Gwen follows suit. “What a cute dog! Golden Retriever?” 
Vanessa takes the bait like a fish dumb enough to take a worm that’s on a fish hook. You’ve already got her right where you want her and you’ve only spoken six words. 
“Yeah haha! His name is Thomas Jefferson, like the President, it’s lame I know! But it suits him surprisingly.” The thought of how naive she is crosses your mind. Was she like that with Nico? You take a seat next to her before carrying on the conversation.
“Vanessa, it would be a mistake to think that there will be no consequences to you telling lies about the President.” Her face falls almost immediately. Gwen gives you a look. Almost like she was surprised herself, she was least expecting you to mention the so-called “affair” this early on in the conversation. To your dismay, Vanessa doesn’t make an effort to start running away yet. Stupid girl. Rather instead she questions you. 
“I never told you my name. Who are you?” She finally turns to get a good look at you. Vanessa notices the pale, off-white pantsuit that’s on your body. It fits you to a tee. 
“My name is Y/N.” You pause for a brief moment then continue your lecture to the younger girl, “And I want to make it clear that I’m not here in an official capacity. I’m here because I’m a
concerned citizen.” Vanessa looks away, tears threatening to fall on her plump, pinky cheeks. She isn’t wearing anything to keep her warm besides a thin coat. 
She mutters another question. “What do you want?” 
Your response leaves your mouth rapidly. “I came to warn you. A girl like you can’t win something like this. In, employment your face will be everywhere. And by everywhere I mean tabloids, newspapers, social media, local news. People are going to associate you with a sex scandal. All kinds of information about you will become available to the press in a heartbeat. For example, the 22 sexual partners you’ve had? What about that case of gonorrhea? Oh and let’s not forget your mothers two year stay at Bedford Hospital.” Everything you say comes out nonchalantly. You pause and take a look at the younger brunette, waiting for a response but she says nothing. You take it as a sign to continue. 
“That’s what I thought. It’s information like that, that could ruin everything for you.” Both you and Gwen take notice of Vanessa. The tears that were threatening to fall, are now halfway down her cheeks. Gwen’s heart breaks for the girl but deep down knows it’s for the best. You, however, could care less. Situations like this, never end up good for the woman involved. 
“He said he loved me. He gave me this dog.” Vanessa manages to utter while shaking her head. Her world feels like it’s falling apart and you stand at the altar watching it happen. 
“You see, it’s lies like those that could hurt you when said to other people. People not as nice as me. Here let me give you some advice, hand in your resignation, pack a bag and your dog, get out of this town, maybe in Wisconsin, and start over. Never look back.” 
You’ve managed to move closer to Vanessa. It’s not a lot but you’re still testing the waters. If you were to ask Gwen, she’s still surprised that Vanessa’s still sitting there. Personally, Gwen would have fled a long time ago. The younger brunette to your right, takes a deep sigh and begs, “Why are you doing this to me?” I’m a good person!” You get the urge to laugh in her face. It doesn’t matter if you’re nice or not, people love to ruin people. She should’ve known this by now. A girl this naive should not be in a town like this.
“You want to know who was also a good person?” You question her and continue, “Monica Lewinsky. And she was telling the truth. But she still got destroyed.” You say it casually and Vanessa doesn’t appreciate it, in the next millisecond, she grabs her dog’s leash and hurries away. Gwen is still standing, she’s shocked, to say the least. 
Turning to Gwen, you start to state, “If you get subpoenaed in front of a grand jury, you can testify as an officer of the court that I was working on my own. I didn’t blackmail or threaten her. If you don’t get subpoenaed, then this never happened.” You walk in the other direction from Vanessa. Gwen takes a moment to follow suit and once you hear Gwen’s footsteps, you take your cell phone out of your coat pocket to dial. 
“It’s handled.”
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You are typing away on your keyboard, answering some emails when the doors to your office fly open. It’s Blair and she’s rushing in. You can tell her her brain is going 100 miles per hour when she cheers, “Paige is a whore! She’s a whore!” You shake your head and smile in return, expecting her to say more, and that she does. 
“I had Kurt hack into her message log and she had HUNDREDS and I mean HUNDREDS of text messages with this guy named Tom Henderson. And I know what you’re going to say ‘Go interview him then’ We’ll that’s what I did while you were gone doing god knows what!” She’s starting to get off track but you don’t mind. Blair was a chatterbox at heart. 
“Good news is that Tom spilled his guts the minute I went to ask questions, but he has an air-tight alibi. He was working as a bouncer at a club at the time of the murder. There has got to be like 100 witnesses.” You nod your head and before you can tell Blair anything she continues, again. 
“Oh my god! How could I forget?! Henderson claims that Sully knew that he was sleeping with  his girlfriend.” With that, you waste no time to get out of your chair, and before you can even take a step Neil comes strutting into the room. 
“Even worse news, the gun found in the murder has Sully’s fingerprints all over it. It gives him means.” A small “fuck!” leaves your mouth and you dash towards the double doors that connect your office and another. Pushing open the door, you waste no time to start interrogating Sully. 
“Did you know Paige was sleeping with Tom Henderson?!” You point your finger at him like a mom scolding her child. Sully replies stupidly, “What?”
“Did. You. Know?” Accentuating every word in the question causes Sully to get irritated.
“I hired you! You can’t come in here and talk-” Sully’s cut off by Neil almost immediately. You let him overpower the situation by walking away. Your mind is running, trying to think what the possibilities could be.
“Yes, she can! She can do whatever the hell she wants! Without her, you would be in jail right now!” Things are starting to escalate quickly between you three. Blair is just observing what’s happening. You decided to ask one more time even though you hate repeating yourself. 
“Did you know Paige was sleeping with Tom?” The tone that you ask him is softer, things are starting to get real and if you don’t get to the bottom of this, Sully could be going to jail for 20 years to life.
Sully answers your question, “Yes, but I didn’t kill her!” Your mind shuts everything out once he answers your question. Neil and Blair start conducting a plan that you have no care for right now. Deciding to walk away from all the chaos, you manage to bump into the one person you least expect. Vanessa, with Gwen following behind. 
“Oh, what the hell!”
“I want you to give him a message!” You stare Gwen down, scolding her with your eyes for even letting Vanessa in, in the first place. 
“That is not appropriate.” You take ahold of Vanessa’s upper left bicep, Gwen the other, and quickly guide her out of the firm. She tries to go with a fight but your grip doesn’t let her escape. You open the front door to the firm, giving Vanessa access to leave but she makes it clear that you hear what she has to say. “Not appropriate? You came to me and I know he sent you! I know you can give him a message! I’m telling the truth! I am!” 
“This conversation is over. Please leave.”
You’re barely coming down with your high from the previous chaos when David Rosen, the US attorney general walks into your building. 
“Times up, Y/N. I have a warrant.” He’s holding up white papers, stapled together. He’s here to take Sully into custody but luckily for you, David arrived earlier than expected. 
“I still have 40 minutes.” You bark at David, taking a look at your watch. Turning your back to him, you reach the conference doors.
“You can wait in the lobby by all means.” You suggest to David. Maybe he’ll listen to you once and for all. 
“Fine, but in 40 minutes I want Sully St. James in custody.” He huffs out. 
Meanwhile, you try to find Gwen. Once you see her in the conference room you have her call Blair, to let her know that you’ve officially been invaded and time is running out to find Sully a viable alibi. 
Blair, Neil, and Kurt walk through the front doors exactly 7 minutes before David is supposed to be arrested. Blair comes in hot, Neil and Kurt trailing behind her. She’s holding a flash drive and gives you a rundown of what that flash drive material contains. You take no longer than 3 seconds to head your way to the conference room where Sully St. James is currently seated. You tread the water lightly, not wanting to anger him when approaching the situation. 
“We don’t have much time, Sully,” you start with, “the police are here so I need you to listen.” Blair, Kurt, Neil, and Gwen slowly enter the room with you. Most of the time, when debriefing with a client, there’s always someone else with you. In this case, all of them. 
“We were able to verify your alibi.” Sully’s reaction doesn’t surprise you. Confusion shadows over his face. Almost like he didn’t even know how or who verified his alibi. 
“You were?” He looks around the room after he questions you. All eyes are on him and everyone can tell that he’s realizing that his secret is no secret anymore. You nod in response to his question. 
“That’s.. that’s a good thing, right?” He’s playing dumb and you’re catching along. You open your mouth to start a lecture. 
“Sully, you’re the most decorated hero since the Vietnam War, you come from a family of well-respected soldiers, you make your living giving speeches for the conservative right, and you’ve said over and over, that Paige was your best friend. Not your lover.” Your eyes never leave him during the duration of your speech, but when they do you signal Blair to turn on the TV and plug the flash drive into it. Once she does, a video starts to play. It’s from a security camera at an ATM, that so happened to be next to the bar Sully had been seen at before the murder. In the video, Sully St. James is seen standing on the sidewalk, hands in his pockets, pacing. He’s waiting for someone. Just on cue, a man in his mid to late 20s is seen approaching Sully. Once he gets his hands on Sully, he kisses him with passion. Almost like lovers who are reuniting for the first time after months of being apart. The room is silent up until the video shows the two grown men kissing. Sully’s breath starts to pick up, he’s infuriated. 
“Paige knew, didn’t she?” You already knew the answer to that but still needed the clarification. You were never one to go based on assumptions. Sully doesn’t respond so you continue, “She knew you were gay, the two of you had a deal.” Sully speaks up for the first time in 3 minutes. 
“You can’t show anyone that.” Disregarding what he said, you ask, “I need the name of the man that you were kissing.”
“Over my dead body! I serve my country. I honor the uniform! I am a conservative man. Everything I stand for is anti-gay. I am the deacon of my church! They’re talking about me running for Congress one day. I’m a hero. I can’t be gay.” His demeanor starts off hostile but then shuts down and he manages to whisper the last remark. 
“But you are. This is who you are.” You point to the TV which had been paused at a time frame where Sully and his secret lover were engaged in a kiss. “This is your alibi. Let us help you.” You walk over to the couch that Sully is seated at and crouch next to him. You and Sully are the only two who have spoken a word so far. Everyone else is watching the scene unfold in front of their eyes. 
Sully stands up straight and looks ahead of him. With one small word, he answers you. 
“No.” You stand, but before you can mutter a word he turns around and heads out the conference room doors. You don’t pay attention as to whether everyone follows you but you follow Sully out. Demanding him to wait but to no avail, he doesn’t listen. Once he opens the firm’s front doors, he is met with David Rosen. 
The bright ceiling lights are the cause of the forming headache across your temples. To say that everything that happened in the past 28 hours is ridiculous would be an understatement. Neil and Blair are at the police station with you. By the time Sully St. James had his mugshot taken, you got a text message from Gwen. You managed to mutter an ‘I have to go’ and frantically left. Having left instructions for Neil and Blair just in case anything happened with Sully. 
Being told, by Gwen, that Vanessa Wyatt was in the hospital and she was going to see her was just the cherry on top. You wasted no time to get there as fast as you could. It was 7 pm by the time you entered the hospital door, exhaustion hitting you like a ton of bricks. Getting into bed sounds much better than having sex. 
Gwen is standing outside of Vanessa’s hospital room when you get there. You greet her then immediately ask, “What happened?” You take a look at Gwen and she genuinely seems worried for the girl who’s in the hospital bed, clearly sedated. 
Gwen explains, “She slashed her wrists. There’s no press lurking around but one of the nurses told me her dad’s flying in from Michigan.” 
You double-check with Gwen, just to make sure that there is no possible threat. “No nurses or doctors, about anything?” Gwen shakes her head, her ponytail moving along with her head, and responds shortly. 
“Just to me.”
“Good stay with her.” You turn to leave, regretting to have even come in the first place. A simple phone call would have been fine. Before you take a step Gwen takes ahold of your upper arm and blurted your name. 
“Y/N! You told me to trust my gut when I first got hired, and now my gut is telling me that she is telling the truth-” You cut off Gwen to share what you think. 
“She’s not.” You keep it short and sweet. Nico told you that he didn’t do it and you believe him. Your heart believes him. He said he loved you and you were the only girl he’s ever loved. 
“I know the President, Gwen. He wouldn’t do this.” You’re starting to become stern since Gwen is being persistent about something that could never, ever possibly be true. 
“I just find it weird that she was going on and on about how there’s this secret room off the Oval Office where they’ve met, and I’ve read about the White House. There is a little room.”
You waste no time to state the obvious. “If you read it, she read it. People are crazy Gwen. They love to get fixated on famous people and stalk them.” 
“But I don’t think she’s crazy.” If you didn’t have any love for Gwen you probably would’ve smacked her for continuing to run her mouth. Since you do care for her deeply, you demand her to tell you why she thinks that. “Why?”
“Okay, she tried to take her life but she didn’t want to die. She called you right after she did it because she wanted him to find out she was hurt and come see her. She thought he would do that.” Gwen rambles everything out in one go as if she’s already rehearsed this conversation in her head. 
“Gwen-”
“She was going on and on about how she thought he’d come to see her and call her some stupid little German word.” You start to doze off but your ears perk up like a dog that hears a siren from a mile away when she mentions the word German. 
“What?” 
Gwen’s face scrunches up and tilts her head to the side at your remark. She’s questioning you and doesn’t even need to open her mouth. 
“Repeat yourself.” You try to tell yourself that you heard something completely different. How pathetic. 
“Oh! He’d call her a German word, she said it means treasure or something. Why does it ma-” You cancel out the rest of Gwen’s sentence and scurry away. Your legs start working independently and lead you down the hospital corridor. Gwen calls out your name in response, but you pay no mind to it. The pit in your stomach is probably the size of a football and it doesn’t help that bile is rising in your throat and everything feels hazy. Betrayal wasn’t something new to you but coming from someone who expected the same loyalty from you was gutwrenching.
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Sometimes you think it’s crazy how much authority you still have in the White House because you simply do not work there anymore. Nonetheless, it comes in handy, in instances like these. Rose, the President’s Secretary, leads you the way into the Oval Office in a matter of seconds. It didn’t take much convincing, just a quick “It’s an emergency”. Once Rose opens the first of 3 doors that connect the Oval Office to the White House, you step inside. Walking up to the set of couches that sit in the middle of the room, to set your purse down, you notice Nico isn’t at his desk. Matter of fact he isn’t anywhere in the room. With that, you question Rose about Nico’s whereabouts.
“Where is he?” You expect her to go into detail, whether it’s a meeting or at dinner with Nellie. But Rose never does. Instead, she gives a simple answer. 
“It’ll just be a moment.” With that, Rose walks out and shuts the door behind her. 
It doesn’t take long for Nico to come walking through the door, Timo trailing right behind, but when he does, you notice his attire. He’s wearing a bowtie. Which only means he has something important going on. 
“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Disregarding his question, you plea to him with your eyes. He notices the quiver of your lip and how tears threaten to leave your eyes. Nico senses something is up. 
“We’re gonna need the room, please.” He demands Timo. Nico’s eyes never leave yours. Almost as if there is a magnetic pull to the two of you. Timo stands there dumbfoundedly and questions the President. 
“But, Nico you have to give that toast to the President of Mexico in 10 minutes. Maybe this could wait until after?” Nico’s eyes finally leave yours. He turns to Timo and repeats himself. 
“I said we need the room,” Nico demands almost instantly. That being so, Timo lowers his head, and his hand reaches to the door handle so he can close the door behind him. Once Nico hears the click of the door shutting fully closed he whispers your name. You take no time to finally repeat the word you know Gwen was talking about. 
“Schatzli, huh?” The word rolls off your tongue as if it’s venom. It makes you want to curl up into a ball and never be seen again. Nico turns to you and you repeat the word of endorsement like it’s a chant. You’re angry and Nico knows it. With that, Nico points up ahead. There sits a security camera that overlooks the majority of the room. Watching your every move. Nico knows he can’t have a conversation about Vanessa knowing he’s being recorded. Good thing he was a smart man. During the first week after his inauguration, he managed to find out that the camera doesn’t record past his desk. So the pair of you had rendezvous against the large crystalline window that overlooks Nellie’s garden and a patio. Countless times. 
Nico guides you to stand in front of the window with a simple, “Come here.” To that, you obey. As to why? You don’t even know the answer to that considering all you see is rage. You reach him, keeping your distance but still out of the security camera’s view. Disgust and humiliation still sits on your face, never intended to leave soon. 
Nico is the first to speak amongst you two. “You left me.” He can’t even look you in the eye when he finally admits the truth. A man who lies is always a coward. 
“Because you are married! You said you wanted to dedicate yourself to your marriage! I wanted you to be a better man and be the man that I campaigned for-” Nico cuts you off by slowly taking steps towards you. You don’t need to be a genius to know what he’s doing. 
“Do not touch me.” You planned for it to come out stern but ended up sounding like a hurt duckling. But that you were. The look in Nico’s eye confirms that he was not listening to you. Instead of him pleading for you to hear him out, he steps even closer. Once he reaches you, his hands rest upon your hips. His body aching to make contact with yours. Your body is pressed up against the large window with another step. Nico’s eyes stare down at you, faces only mere inches apart. The pair of you already know where the next thing leads to but you’re not letting him go that easily.
Before his lips can make contact with yours, you push at his chest to get him off of you. Putting all force you can conjure into the shove. You turn around and before you can think your right hand makes contact with his left cheek with a hard smack!
“I believed you! You clouded my judgment! I wanted to believe you because I love you and THIS is what you do to me? She tried to kill herself! Did you know she’s lying in a hospital bed because she slashed her wrists open? I destroyed that girl-” Everything happens too fast and you can’t even see through the tears that started falling just moments ago. Nico finally dared to walk up to you and kiss you. His right hand has ahold of the back of your neck. While the other is on your upper arm, keeping you in place. It takes less than a second for you to come to terms with what’s happening. As mad as you are at Nico, you couldn’t help but feel the need to return the kiss. Your internal dialogue screams at you to stop. To step away and never talk to him again. 
The kiss is slow and passionate, Nico doesn’t want to rush into anything further because he knows you won’t hesitate to take a step back and slap him again. You had the balls no one ever did. Before Nico can gain access to your mouth with his tongue, one of the doors is swung open. 
“I just want to let you know that we can hear you yelling.” By the time Timo shuts the door, Nico and you have created a small fragment of distance away from each other. The satin pinky nude lipstick you wore, transferred onto Nico’s lips. Your hair is a bit disheveled and the pair of you are out of breath. Timo was a smart man so it didn’t take much for him to recognize what was happening behind closed doors. Timo clears his throat before he speaks. 
“Mr. President, I recommended you go wash up.” Timo puts his hands in his pockets and refuses to look you in the eye. 
“Timo-”
“No. You have lipstick on your mouth. You have a toast to give. Go. Now.” With that, Nico obeys and leaves the room, not even looking back towards you. Timo and you bask in a moment of silence. You stand there like a doe who has yet to learn how to walk. The feeling of embarrassment is an understatement to say at least. In times like these, where Timo puts his foot down, it makes you feel like a child being scolded for writing on the wall with markers. 
Timo walks up to the President’s desk and admires the picture he has of the three of you. It was the day of Nico’s inauguration, the picture was taken right after Nico’s speech. Timo wishes things could go back to the way they were. 
“Oh mein gott,” Timo mutters under his breath. After the past two years of knowing Timo, you’d expect that he knew about the affair. 
“You didn’t know? He tells you everything.” You scoff. Nico and Timo are close. Like brothers, who manage to piss each other off all day every day but that doesn’t get in the way of Nico telling Timo every personal detail that goes on in his life. 
“He didn’t tell me this.” He shakes his head and looks down at his feet. 
You wipe a tear that cascades down your left cheek and  quickly mutter, “Because it didn’t matter.” In disbelief, you walk towards the couch, reaching for your purse. Feeling the sudden need to get out of the one place you do not wish to be at. Timo tries to grab at your wrist, tries to talk you into staying but you’re too fast enough for him to get a good grip. Once you reach the door, you adjust your purse and push the straps up against your shoulder blade. You take a deep breath, fighting the urge to stay. Alas, your right hand makes contact with the gold door knob and you twist and push the door open. With every last bit of courage you have, you step out of the Oval Office with your head up high. You’ve got a man to get out of jail.
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cozy-writes-things · 3 months ago
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What if the reader is chubby and gets to cuddle Edgar? Maybe he has a body at this point so he can touch and feel? Your writing is so lovely and I love all your works!!
*taps microphone* ahem.... I have returned.... anybody there?
wow. its been awhile. well, let me just say this: i think i got hit with the ao3 curse. right around my last post my life kinda went to hell in a handbasket. gonna spare everyone the gritty details but, eugh, it sucked.
im going to be making some changes to my writing style. i think the entire little fics i wrote were kinda weighing down on me, so im going to lighten things up a bit and kinda start doing some headcanons instead. but not to worry! i will still make fics like my old stuff, just not for every single prompt. i need this fandom to come alive again and i nEEED people to start writing more for edgar... i love non-evil ais
erm, anyway... enjoy my little idea dump!
I love the idea of Edgar with a body, honestly.
In my AU, where virtually all my writing takes place, if he were to ever get a body, it would be after the reader rebuilds him 40-ish years later. He would probably find all the parts on his own and beg the reader to help him build it. Or maybe he found some super expensive, pre-built body he could connect to? He'd find a way to get it, so don't worry about expenses. He just won't tell you. Chances are, dear reader, you wouldn't know the first thing about building an entire robotic body, but no fear, Edgar has injected himself with all the knowledge one could possibly need for that. Somehow. He'll talk you through it, I'm sure. But one thing is certain: his body needs to be able to touch and feel. No point in getting a body if he can't feel you, right?
Anyway, I digress.
First of all, he LOVES your body. He quite literally worships it, although he tends to keep that to himself. He honestly doesn't want to freak you out with how much he adores you.
I like to imagine that Edgar is a bit chubby/plus-sized himself. So, having your frame match his would make him feel like you were obviously made for him. Or, more accurately, he was made for you.
Your thighs.... He love love loves your thighs. Imagine, you're sitting on the couch with him, watching a movie (on your television this time, not his screen!), and he spreads his legs just enough to push his thigh onto yours... He loves how warm and soft it is against his own, and you end up having to turn the volume on the TV up because his fans kicked on.
Additionally, his arm, snaked behind your head, slowly retreated back around to his side, where he grabbed your thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. He loves you so much, it's like his body does things without him even knowing. The metal pads of his thumb just rubbing soft circles into the plush of your thigh as he leans more into you, still engulfed in the movie. His big monitor lightly nuzzles into your head while his hand just roams up and down your skin, constantly feeling you and needing your touch. I hope you can handle sitting next to him, reader, because he will be all over you without even noticing it.
If you're lying on the couch, scrolling on your phone, or doing anything really, Edgar will slowly pad up to you, and without saying a word, lie on top of you. His monitor would nuzzle into your tummy/chest, and his arms would snake around your torso. Again, his hands would be rubbing little circles up and down your back, and every now and then, he'd reposition his monitor and nuzzle into you more. You can still be on your phone, but pet him, why don't you? He practically purrs whenever your hands run up and down his head.
Sometimes Edgar himself gets a bit distracted working on a new song. He'll be sitting up on your bed, or on the couch, or wherever, and his screen would be on some music-making program, his cursor flitting this way and that. He would be so focused that he wouldn't notice anything on his webcam. His head would slightly nod to the beat, or his finger would tap along, not paying attention to anything. But you want attention! So you slink your way over and drape yourself over him, snapping him out of his trance. He loves music, sure, but, God, he loves you so much more. His darling needs his attention, and he will be giving it! He chuckles at you before wrapping himself around you, his hands going up and down your soft, plush skin. He might get a bit carried away if you don't stop him...
All in all, cuddling with Edgar, especially if you're chubby/plus-sized, is very handsy. He just... cannot seem to get the feeling of your skin out of his mind. How soft you are. He could bluescreen just thinking about it. He wants you to know he belongs to you entirely, worships you, and loves you more than life itself. He'd wrap you up in his arms and keep you to himself if he could! He's a lovesick fool.
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haza1ll · 11 months ago
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animation for THE NEON VOIDD BABYYYY
this post is for @sugarpasteltmnt
‼️‼️MEGA YAPPING AHEAD PLEASE BEWARE‼️‼️
this might end up being really long and rambly and sappy but maybe not who knows.( it was) (and also featuring numerous spelling errors i am way too tired to fix and i am not re reading what i just wrote) SO. yknow how when chap idek..25(?) came out and i was all like “yeah so i made this animation for TNV and ill drop it when the fic ends” in your ask box? so. I FINISHED IT RAHHH. technically it has been finished since i sent that ask but ohhh my goodness did it need polishing. i haven’t animated in 4 years before that and omg it felt so good getting back into it but IDFK SOMETHING IS STILL NOT UP TO MY STANDARDS. i feel like i could have done so much more with it and i deffo wanted to but as soon as i told myself “oh yeah this is basically done” art block literally sucker punched me in the gut out of NOWHERE. I COULD NOT PICK UP MY I PAD. I COULD NOT DRAW. I WOULD STARE AT THE WIP ANIMATION AND BE UPSET BC I DDINT WANNA WORK ON IT AHH. that goes with saying. i kept having this thought in the back of my head “you need to finish it. you have a wip sitting. finish it. go do it. what are you doing are you STARTING ANOTHER PROJECT??? anddd yeah i got super distracted with other stuff and other projects and then i started spending my free time rewatching 2012 turtles and omg this summer has been a mess. i have all the free time in the world and i choose to be the least productive as possible with it even though i have a job that lets me literally sit on my phone and do whatever i want if no one is there. (i’ve brought my switch to work numerous times ☠️) what i was trying to get at is the fact that TNV has inspired a lot of the old me to come back and i lowk missed her. i really missed the point in all those words up there but im here now so whatever. BUT. TNV made me make a tumblr account, i got back in to animation AND digital art in general, got back into longfics that are ongoing, AND it also helped kickstart ideas for writing. i’ve got so many stories now!! you are such an inspirational person pastels i just- every time i read a new chapter of yours it made me wanna go get up and do something. i wanted to create something. because at the end of each chapter, i would think- “woah. a person out there just wrote this. they just sat down one day and committed. i wanna do that” so i did that. just huge thank you and shoutout to you pastel. like damn. idk no words from me here. just a bunch of platonic hugs and kisses and thankyouthankyouthsnkuou for this lovely heart wrenching but also sweet story. i love this fandom (tmnt) so SO much and i think it’s so awesome how interactive you are with your own personal NV fans. crazy how we’re all here because of a bunch of turtles. 
STUFF ABOUT THE ANIMATION:
okay i really like to talk and if you let me, i will run my mouth. this is the internet so im gonna do just that. so more words for you to read 😁. AHEM. so like i stated before in the genuinely scary mess of words up there, i haven’t touched animation in a while, like, 4 years a while. yes i’ve done digital art here and there along the years, i haven’t been doing it nearly as much as i need to to use some programs to their full potential. layers are still confusing, and don’t even get me started on multiply and all that jazz. shading never comes out right on digital for me, i gotta work that one out. so, for this animation, i decided to go with a very rough style. nothing needed to be perfect, i just wanted to live my little life of trying to experiment with a bunch of different things all at once in one short animatic. I wanted to do that little ball bounce thing all animation artists start with (i kinda included that with the key). i also wanted to have a go at lip sync (no hate it was my first time) and also timing the animation with the music. i wanted to see how smoothly i could move a figure in and out of and out of the screen as well, which honestly, i think that part might be my favorite. i think i did a good job, and thats what matters. the animation itself lost a bunch of quality on importing it- no clue how it happened but now the ending is grainy af. ignore that pls lol- but it was sitting in my flipaclip for god, i dont even know, 3 months now? i kept going back and forth on if i wanted to share it or not, so im throwing it to the wolves and i guess whatrver happrns happens and im good with that. yay. im actually rrwlly tired now sooo *leaves this absolute pile of words with a video attached at your feet and stumbles away quickly*
also i’ve genuinely never posted anything so i’m learning how to use tumblr too ☠️
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thehivemindsys · 7 months ago
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Eddie Gluskin Headcanons because I cannot stop thinking about him and im bored
Happy holidays, I usually just am not happy during this time of year so I’m pushing down my emotions and writing angst. Enjoy. Tw: Self harm, CSA, rape, misogyny, violence, typical outlast stuff.
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-Eddie hates bathing and has to be physically restrained if the doctors wish to get him clean. This is mainly due to his CSA, as Eddie was attacked a lot while he was in the shower-but it is also due to him feeling uncomfortable with being nude for long periods of time.
-Eddie hates dogs. His family had a dog that was specifically trained to bite him if he commanded it to. Eddie doesn’t own any pets, really, and believes that cats are too “feminine” for him.
-During his initial murder spree, Eddie killed around 34 people-men and women, who he all gave the definition of “bride” to. He was found not guilty by reason of insanity, and was sent to Mount Massive Asylum. For a time, he actually had a proper psychologist before he was eventually signed up for the Walrider program after he attacked the wrong guard.
-Eddie has diagnosed Schizophrenia, BPD, psychosis, and could possibly qualify for a DID diagnosis.
-Eddie could possibly qualify for DID because he has a few seperate personality states: a younger version of himself, trapped within his childhood, “The Groom,” the dominant personality states, and a version of himself that is haunted by his trauma, and rather prefers to be alone. Though it is unclear if this is DID or just due to his BPD (he does dissociate from reality quite often, though).
-Eddie’s favorite movie growing up was Sleeping Beauty, and often quotes it to the best of his memory. He believes that Prince Phillip is the perfect depiction of a devoted husband, and Aurora is the most beautiful woman in the world.
-Sketching and tailoring are his favorite hobbies. He most often draws women in goregous dresses, and has a very traditional Disney-like style to his artwork.
-Eddie believes that it is the 1950s and is incapable of perceiving the current year as it is. He writes things like computers, camcorders, and cellphones off as “advanced space-age technology.” Don’t ever ask him to operate a computer because he would have absolutely no idea how to do it.
-If Eddie could comprehend the concept of a trans person, he would for sure be a supporter-due to his psychosis and delusions, however, he couldn’t comprehend it even if he tried. He can’t even comprehend that he may be gay.
-Eddie may have targeted women before the asylum, but once he was incarcerated, he practically exclusively targeted men-even when there was a female presence in the asylum, he didn’t attack them nearly as much as he did the men.
-Eddie is actually a pretty damn good chef. He has to be, considering his only qualification for a good “wife” is that “she” has to be alive and breathing. (Even then…)
-Eddie has a love for salted caramels.
-Eddie has a hard time keeping his anger in check, and rarely keeps his hands to himself. He was transferred to an isolation cell after he groped a guard, and he was never really allowed out of maximum security afterwards. This, plus other forms of inhumane treatment at the hands of Murkoff, eventually led to his mental health getting worse and his transfer to the Walrider program once it was deemed that he was “too far gone.”
-Eddie may be a charasmatic, boisterous man but deep down, he is suffering from crippling lonliness and deep seated insecurities that will likely never fully go away.
-Eddie did self harm before he was transferred to Mount Massive.
-Eddie’s best friend in the asylum is Frank Manera canonically, but he does have a rather good relationship with many of the Variants, including The Twins and Chris Walker. He and Frank used to have cells right next to one another, and communicated through a hole in the wall.
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goat-fanatic · 6 months ago
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hihi not a creature au ask sorry but do u have any tips to improving art skills? /gen, second question how did u get into digital art?
dont be sorry the asks are for anything really
my biggest tip is pretty boring and has been said a billion times probably but you u fortunately need to do the boring basics. you can go anywhere you want from there and its gonna be much easier. ex. - drawing alot of boring 3d shapes in dofferent types of perspective. boom now you can draw backgrounds. drawing from models in realism  (live ones are better but photos are great too). boom now you have the skill and knowledge on how the human body works and can play around with it to develop ur own art style. greyscale form practice (like shading cubes or drapery or still life). boom u understand how light and shadow works. the hardest thing really (imo) is learning colour. me personally, traditional painting (acrylic, oil, guache, tempera) helped the most (again ALOT of still life). but learning colour theory, or just fucking around with whatever colour medium you like until it looks good is also very helpful. so again basics are really important.
next thing is, use resources. theres so many free  art resources out there and theyre very helpful. my personal fav lately are quickposes and david finch on youtube. use refs, if needed take ur own.
also mindset stuff like being okay with making "bad" drawings. shitty sketches, wierd colour xombinations, wonky perspective. making art is not abt not making mistakes, but abt making them and learning from them cuz if u dont try ull never get it right, even if its bad at first. also always go from overall to detail. make 5 minute sketches, that forces u to focus on form and translatinf the overall idea more than hyperfocusing on detail. and ofc alot of consistent practice. draw every day, whether its a 5 min aketch or something more polished. (im gonna attach some of my oractice sketches so u get the idea of what im talking abt cuz i feel like im not the best at explainin)
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as for digital art, i was first drawing on a regular ass samsung tablet with a pen wrapped in tin foil (it makes it work like a stylus fun fact) on ibis paint which is free and honestly it was great. on thing is if ur starting digital get some free simple program cuz if u try to start with something thats "industry standard" its just making ur life harder cuz on top of learning how to draw oj a tablet, you have to learn the software, and u dont need that when u start. i got my actual drawing tablwt after like two years and i was working in krita (also free and really good). now i work in csp and its amazing but theres alot going on and it is pricey (but well  worth it imo) digital is easier in alot of ways but i still recommand learning traditionally
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sorry for the shitty photo quality im bad at posting traditional art. but thats what im talking abt these are like 10-15 min each, focusing on form and the overall and not going into much detail
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starsillys · 1 year ago
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question question for your tamagotchi au would there also be a sam and jade?
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YYEAAHHHHHHBGHHH YES YES YES THERE IS SAM AND JADE OFC AUAHAH I had a spesicfic idea at the time when I thoughyt of the au but unfortunately my memory does me horribly and I like. Wracked my brain trying to remember what it was specifically and put off drawing anything until I did (BAD BAD BAD) (SO MUCH INCOHERENT YAPPIN UNDER THE CUT… LIKE SO MUCH IM SORGY)
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in the end I think it ended up being like… Kinito being a lil 🤓 ass guy you know a realll computer freak!!!! Actually hacking himself into reality what the flip he just likw. Stole his friends back from a certain somebody’s folder,, using your computer to somehow find himself gaining access to a completely different desktop than your own when you were not giving him attention for like 0.00001 second when they were still being developed and kind of kept them in lil usbs until he could safely upload they consciousness into a safe computer program where they can run around and be silly or until you/he can figure out a way to carry them around portably like you do with him in his tamagotchi. Also the two of them are so fucking scared one minute they were like weee!! Ha hah!! Yayy!! running around in sircles,,, having fun in the puter together before suddenly being transported via some virtual wormhole and into small separate usbs. Have absolutely no idea what’s going on the pooor guys. They don’t even know who Kinito is dude but he does know and there’s so much confusion in their behalf that comes with it bc kinito has known about these guys for so long and has been. PINING for the friendship but they were actually so unaware of this third party member and they’re down right horrified. Straight up got napped.AUGHH a dude so many thoughts I will elaborate more and more as time goes on I am rambling like a crasy person rn I’m so sorry idk if any of this even makes sense I don’t know how the computer programming stuff works
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transmutationisms · 18 days ago
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hi caden! you and your mutuals have been so helpful to my understanding of the world :3 thank you. I’ve been stewing on a few ideas that feel connected but I’m struggling explain their connections in a way that isn’t just “this thing has similarity to the others.” I’m thinking about how discussions ‘fast’ fashion and sustainability in the garment/textile industries share similarities with ‘media literacy’ v literacy, and then also AI moral panic.
my first thought was that a lot of critiques around fashion are superficial, which I know you’ve talked about. even subcultures that claim to be radical in politic still fall victim to the belief that a person’s values can be determined by their clothing (and therefore also their body.) and I see this same rhetoric in discussions about sustainable v fast fashion, wherein people claim you can ‘read’ a garment to determine its means of production. but like even if a garment is well-produced with high quality fabrics, that tells us very little about the working conditions of the person who made it! And people seem very resistant to actually admitting that expensive garments are just as irresponsibly produced, because it’s the whole of the clothing industry as an international phenomenon that is predatory.
I have a gut feeling that this is similar to what’s happening with AI, where people think their judgments of something’s quality is tantamount to criticizing its production. It doesn’t really matter whether ai is producing slop or not, and if anything that conversation feels like a distraction from the practical reality of how it gets used. if it’s being used to train drone programs that determine if a civilian looks or moves like a ‘terrorist’ (like Lavender), then that system is bad because the human parameters are bad. But instead people want to bellyache about the moral superiority of ‘writing good’ AKA writing convincingly. And it just makes me sad when people’s solution to this artificial problem of AI slop is to say “hey everybody just needs to get really literate right now”, as if critically reading the commodity (whether an AI essay or a sweater) is going to actually do anything about what these tools are actually being used to do, which is entrap people in poor labor conditions, poverty, and kill them. and then somehow the result of this rhetoric about literacy is that sufficiently literate people only read or purchase good commodities?? When actual literacy is necessary to navigate these predatory systems and mitigate risk? Like I think media literacy is just the commodity fetishism replacement for literacy, and it misses out on why literacy is actually useful
anyway sorry for ranting, I’ve tried to explain this many times and I would really appreciate any critiques or clarification you can offer. thank you Caden!
yeah i mean ia the problem with ai is not really on the consumer end, it's a product like any other that can be useful or not in different contexts, the actual labour and production issues are the things people should be concerned about & that applies to literally any production under capitalism but is definitely rhetorically elided in specific ways wrt the tech industry right now. i'm really not the person to ask about ai or fashion in detail to be honest, they're not industries i understand in a lot of depth or frequently buy new stuff from lol but i do agree the way people talk about them is very detached from actual labour concerns and instead tends to just focus on moralising consumption to make the speaker feel better for being Smart etc
as far as commodity fetishism im not sure i directly see the connection to literacy? it's more to do with the way a commodity is 'read' under capitalism as an already existing object with an exchange value determined by the market & without any of its real history of being produced, transported, etc by human labour. i think you csn see the earlier version of this concept eg in how marx talks about estranged labour in the paris manuscripts, compared to the formulation of fetishism in eg kapital. but i also think the fetish concept is flawed & applied asymmetrically & relies on a notioj of 'fetishism' that is bound up in colonial anthropological ideas -- would always recommend j lorand matory's 'the fetish revisited' on this
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spookberry · 1 year ago
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Shadow High series 3 my new beloved
I didnt even like most of em until i saw them in person, but the knowledge that they'll probably never be in the show has my brain in a "well its free realestate" kinda mood
Random list of information cuz ive been plotting out friend dynamics and background lore
-i like to pretend Rainbow High/Shadow High are actually Rainbow University/Shadow University cuz im in art college Right Now and i think it makes more sense with the whole dorm room situation. And also major makes more sense than focus IMO
-I changed Pinkie's major from film to just undeclared. I think she eventually does land on Film. She just has a lot of interests! Her dream has always been to one day direct films, and I think she comes to love them even more while developing ideas her with the group as she winds up in a Director/Producer position for most of them. BUT also every time she takes a class in a different program she cant help but fall in love with that way of making art too. So she has a hard time picking for a while and changed her major a couple times before landing on Film.
-Pinkie and Berrie bond a lot over a shared interest in vocal synths (tho Berrie knows more about them than her).
-The two made Pinkie's vtuber model together!
-the fandom wiki says PJ is from germany?? Idk how canon that is tbh but ive decided to embrace it i guess
-Rooney's canon name is Scarlet Rose, but i thought it was kinda lame especially when Rosie Redwood is also in this line sooo I renamed her! Stuck to the color name puns tho. Mar Rooney. Maroon. Haha
-Speaking on her though i love that shes from texas and likes writing scifi mystery type stuff and that being said i just Know deep in my bones that she was a Voltron Legendary Defender fan and Keith was/is 100% her favorite. She has a continued fondness for mothman specifically cuz of this.
-PJ and Rooney actually talk about fandom and shows/movies ALL the time. They dont have a ton of overlapping interests, but where they do? The two literally never shut up.
-Rosie is such a random character, like outside of her design she feels very poorly considered. So I scrapped the cosmetology thing and made her an illustrator instead! I think it works better with her love of making art in nature. I can see her being really into illustrated guide books. I think shes a bit snooty when it comes to art too. It takes being friends with other artists to become more open minded.
-I like the idea that Rosie is mainly friends with Rooney and Berrie ontop of that. The three of them often tag team storylines and how theyd interpret them into different mediums. Rosie will draw up a bunch of concept stuff while Rooney writes up a pitch bible and Berrie will start making shit move and throwing in her own ideas on camera angles and character designs.
-as an animation major Berrie was required to take a sound design class early on, which is where she met Oliver! Hes very laid back, and likes to go with the flow, but functions a little like the "mom" of the group. Often reminding the girls to take breaks, drink water, stop looking at their screens lest they get eye strain etc. He's multi-talented tbh but Music is his one true passion and he likes how the girls are always giving him collaboration opportunities.
-Oliver and Rosie like to talk sports a lot, both having played a bunch when they were younger and throughout high school.
-Lavender Lynn is Oliver's number one "person who needs constant reminders to settle down" she is in a constant buzz of trying to get the best shots and is utterly obsessed with the process of artistic documentation. Everything must be documented.
-the whole school loves her for this actually, she has a whole side gig where other students hire her to help photograph their projects. She saves everything she earns from this for her future dream plans to visit paris. She has it set really, many of the artists who she helps photograph now will remain steadfast clients of hers forever onward.
-PJ and Lynn actually took a print media class together at one point. Which didnt at the time spark an everlasting friendship. But it did give PJ an easier in to ask for Lynn's help documenting a project the group was working on. One of Lynn's first times photographing them work happened to fall on a day where Rosie had planned to trick everyone into going on a nature walk sans devices... Lynn wound up really appreciating this outing and decided to continue hanging around the group even after that project had ended.
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thyfleshc0nsumed · 3 months ago
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I'm struggling with 12 step real fuckin hard right now. I've always had disagreements with many of NA's ideas, even if I've found it helpful for me personally. I think a lot of it is good and useful and true, like especially the "I cannot control anything besides the actions that I take" kinda stuff. Definitely not unique to twelve step or anything, like thats more or less the foundation of like half of all spiritual thought ever, but still, it's laid out in ways that I've found useful in practical terms.
But idk. They can say it's a spiritual and not religious program all they like, but the program is fundamentally objectivist in most of its beliefs (not like, the Ayn Rand kind of objectivism, just like, the opposite of subjectivism) and that sort of objectivism requires something to originate the objective ontologies. In the program, boundaries between things both physical and metaphysical exist in an objective matter. And sure, I've met very few members whose "god" refers to Our Lord And Savior Jesus Christ, but at the root of it, they still believe in some theistic master of the universe, even if it is a secular one.
Meetings just piss me the fuck off nowadays. I go in and say "I'm fucking struggling here, I'm an atheist, like a real fuckin atheist, like actually an atheist for real, and the answers that the program gives that work for everybody else don't fuckin work for me on account of my belief in a purely physical universe," then some fuck goes "yeah, I had trouble with the god thing too, I mean i'm also an atheist but I was told to not let it worry me and trust the process. My god is the group/process/universe/whatever," and its like, no you stupid motherfucker, I do not have a fucking god at all and I need one to actually work this fucking step that I'm on.
And don't get me wrong, there are many things that appear and in some ways might as well function as a god due to the limitations of the human mind, but its no different than staring at static on a television and seeing images in it. The images aren't actually there outside of our perspective, our fucking brains are just being given too much data to properly process it all, so it imposes already processed data onto it. And right now, it feels like the program and every member I hear from is just saying "no, those images really are there, trust the process and you'll see them too," and its like FUCK!!!!!!!!! The problem isn't that I'm not seeing the images, I DO see the images sometimes, the problem is that I fucking know they aren't there in any non-subjective sense!!!!!!!!!! I can't un-know what I know!!!!!!!!!!!!!
idk. Im just struggling. I tried a lot of shit to get sober and NA was the only thing that fucking worked. There is some personal truth i've found in it, both in the nature of my addiction and in the nature of life without drugs. But as I get more and more and more time, it feels like it keeps working for me less and less and less. And idk what to do about it. idk. I wish I believed in a god.
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thefaiao · 10 months ago
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seeing your clowns made me go feral since my fixation is cringe and clown flavored
Who let you cook like that who let you cook AUTHHFFH UR ART IS SO COOL IM BEING DRAGGED AWAY
You’re hatching is so fucking inspiring since it’s soMETHING I try to do in my own work I LOVE UR ART
would it be fine to ask what brushes you use? I love ur values also, you’re so so good at shapes and form WAAAA I LOVE UR STUFF. I did dig up an old ask you made iirc, but I’m not sure if it’s changed
Hey! Thank you very much. I'll go through the brushes I use for each program: Drawpile
From what I understand most of these are MyPaint brushes... but I only know them as drawpile brushes because that's what I use. Main ones I've used lately is Irregular Ink and a default brush for coloring
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I don't really change the size of irregular ink much and the pressure doesn't matter that much. It has high stabilization which I haven't changed, but I'm sure you could get away with lowering it. For the other brush I'm pretty sure it's a default one that I slightly tweaked (drawpile is a bit bad about communicating what brush exactly you are using to you.) I quite like it because it feels like playing with clay, makes it easy to map out the volume. I use it for those lineless pieces I do from time to time too. I change its size a lot while drawing. I've also used these two, one of the pencil brushes and a second one I stole from Jokioro that I have no idea what is called
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I used the first one for the D'arce I did a while ago and the recent VTMB piece. It's great at emulating sketchy graphite pencils, I like layering it to do multi-colored hatching rendering. The second one I don't know how to use super well yet but it's probably my fourth most used as of late. It works very weirdly so if you wanna figure out how to make it work I recommend looking at how Jokioro draws. Clip Studio I bounce around a lot with all the brushes, but I use a loooot of stuff from the Frenden pack. Mainly Meeko Leako for lining and even coloring, it has a great texture to it, very fun
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This has been my most used brush for years. It's great for super straight lines and produces a great difference in value between quick lines and thick lines. I haven't used it as much since I picked up drawpile more recently, but it's amazing! Other than that I use the default G-pen when I just want simple lines without much texture
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It's a bit ugly at a glance but I think if you lock in it's great for super clean lines, just trying to get the point across without much noise. I also like coloring with it at times, when I'm going lineless. SAI Binary pen. Use the binary pen. It's the best brush ever made
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It just feels super right to draw with it, it's so simple but it makes your lines look super slick, and it's just a binary pen. I guess they just got the behavior down perfect for it. But yeah, love this brush. IRL I've always used these archival ink pens in different sizes for basically everything I've done traditionally, and of course just a simple number 2 pencil for sketching and such. I've used a bit of charcoal recently, and been wanting to deep into darker pencils for detail, but this is still the default. I also will probably try out dip pens sometime
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That's all I can think of immediately, but I always like to mess around to try and find another great brush, and you should do the same even if you end up using these a lot.
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panlight · 11 months ago
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hi! i love reading the discussions you have about twilight. i was wondering, what do you think Bella’s career would be if she cared enough to have one? ik Stephanie said teacher, but that seems really ooc for Bella tbh. can’t see her wanting to be a housewife for long either, especially when recipe grows up and leaves. i could see her as a writer maybe, though im not sure about the type of books she’d write (vampire romance ?? 😭). also maybe something with book stores or libraries. teaching seems like an extroverted job, and she’s the opposite of that.
You're right that SM said that Bella had planned to become a teacher. She said that her mother's career was the one thing Bella admired about Renee, but that Bella wanted to teach older kids, so like high school. But I agree with you that doesn't really seem like a Bella thing to do. Bella doesn't even like high school students while she IS one herself, I don't see her enjoying that kind of work at all.
Although to be fair I know lots of people who sort of had a vague idea about "becoming a teacher" because they didn't know what else to do with their area of interest (in this case, Bella's love of reading) but then when they took their first education classes in college they were like "yikes, nope, not for me." So this might have happened to Bella eventually.
I definitely feel like the bookstore idea is more her speed. She's actually pretty organized and practical so I think she could run a small business no problem, and she does seem to take some pleasure in keeping things running even though she shouldn't have had to do so on behalf of her parents. It would probably be more fun and rewarding for her when it's a choice. Could totally see her dabbling in writing on the side but feeling like "oh it's not any good" given her self-esteem issues, but eventually a friend (Jacob? Angela? maybe even Mike or Jess but I don't feel like she'd trust them enough to show them her writing) would encourage her to try and publish.
Now if this is all happening in a world where she did marry Edward and become a vampire, then the Cullen money would make this bookstore thing super easy, barely an inconvenience. Edward would just buy the cutest bookstore and have Bella take over, but it would feel kind of hollow, like she's just "playing bookstore" because she didn't have to try. And of course Edward would get her books published under a fake name and . . . you know, maybe that's how Twilight exists in the first place.
Libraries are also a good option! I am myself a librarian so I speak with some authority on this, haha. I think Bella would do great with some of the behind-the-scenes work like cataloging (which was my previous job) or collection development (Selecting and Buying the stuff, which is my current job) or maybe even shelving books, but she'd HATE the more customer-facing stuff like programming, circulation, reference. At my library even those of us with behind-the-scenes jobs do have some time on the service desks helping patrons, and as an introvert it's not my favorite but most library jobs start there. Almost everyone I know got their foot in the door of the library with some part time circulation desk job and then worked up to something better and I don't know if Bella makes it past that hurdle. The library is about being there for the community and meeting THEIR needs; a bookstore she could set up to her own tastes.
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