#corruption.arc

[ua-monoma]

END.p3

@v-hawks

The hideout is... disgustingly familiar.

Monoma eases the door to it open slowly, listening to the creak. Nothing is left behind as he pulls away from it, the blood on his hands already too caked and dried to leave much of a mark.

Time has passed. He can't tell how much. It had been light when it had happened. And the hideout is dark.

It's quiet.

Monoma looks around for a few seconds. Then his breath hitches and he just sinks down where he's standing, curling up just besides the door with his dirtied hands covering his dirtied face. He doesn't move.

Hawks hears the door open from another room. It's nothing abnormal, everyone was in and out all of the time, but it still always catches his attention.

Especially now. Especially with how slow the door opens. How careful.

He slips out from where he had been, looking around the corner. Seeing Monoma sink down. It's sad, and pitiful, and just like Monoma. His head tilts to the side to rest on the wall, still watching, a relaxed smile on his face. He felt at home. He's silent and undetected for a long while, admiring the blood covering his boy. What he must have gotten up to...

That thought is what makes him push off, approaching him on light feet, sitting beside him so he can pet his hair.

"Hey."

Voice as soft as he could make it, he brushes dried blood away, revealing the beautiful color underneath.

Monoma flinches at the first touch. "Nh."

In an instant, red wings burst from his back again, thrashing violently. They settle within the second, curling up around him. Shielding him for the most part from Hawks as he curls up all the more, burying his hands in his dirtied hair next.

His mouth moves. No sound comes out.

"Ah..."

Hawks frowns as the wings bat at him and shut him out, forcing him to move away as they calm down and shield Monoma. Sighing gently, he stands, observing, only to sit back down in front of the boy and pet one of the wings carefully.

"Are you okay?"

His fingers are kind as they brush across the softer feathers, down to the longer, bigger ones at the end, toying with them gently before moving back up to start the cycle over.

Flinching again, Monoma moves to hug himself. The feathers grow stiff and sharpen under Hawks' fingers with a little ripple, unconsciously resisting the comfort.

"... You were right," he croaks out after a moment. The wings disappear, replaced by a sudden flurry of green scales that stretch over his fingers and along his hands, glittering and sharp. Without a second thought, he pierces into his own arms, blood gushing into dirtied fabric. He doesn't wince, continuing in a low whisper.

"I'm... I'm not a hero anymore..." His eyes widen and he digs the claws into himself harder. "I can't be a hero anymore. I can't be a hero anymore. I can't be-"

"Neito.." Hawks breathes, reaching forward again to hold his face when his wings have fallen away. He's leaning over him, in his space, but still trying to be non-threatening. Small. "Neito, it's okay..." His free hand moves over the one digging into Monoma's arm, trying to allow him to let go of himself.

"It's okay... you're okay," he brushes a thumb over the back of his hand as he starts pulling it free, kissing him before he could say another word.

Monoma drops his mantra to whimper a little. When Hawks kisses him, he makes another little jolt of a sound as the claws are pulled from his skin. The green vanishes with his firm touch, wings flashing back into place again, shuddering and tense and drooping low. He holds himself still, not reciprocrating, eyes only widening, body trembling like an animal trapped.

Hawks pulls away a moment later, sad to lose the taste of blood from Monoma's lips. He always enjoyed it, especially from his boy, who had practically addicted him to it.

But he isn't going to push too hard if Monoma doesn't want it. He doesn't want to scare him off. Instead, he lays his head on Monoma's shoulder. "I'm sorry," is all he says before he lets silence take over, waiting for Monoma's next move.

Monoma shivers under Hawks' weight. He feels Rin's scales rustling under his skin, begging to be released again. His whole body burns with it, this urge to force Hawks' blood to join the rest of the teeming mess on his skin. Everything itches. He feels so dirty, so dirty, so, so, so...

His breath hitches again, escaping in a little shudder before he sucks in a sharp inhale. "But you're happy-"

He wants him dead.

"You're happy I can't go back-"

He wants to die.

"I can't go back and you-" His breath hitches again. "It's all your fault. It's-" His breath hitches, he's hyperventilating. "My fault. I- I did this- I want to go back-" He starts to cry softly, tears dribbling down his cheeks. "I want to die, I don't want to be like this..."

Hawks pulls away, concern fallen on his face as Monoma starts to ramble, dragging himself down into his thoughts again. It happened so often, and all it did was sadden him more. He was such a mess. Such a mess...

He shakes his head.

"No, no..." He whispers, "No.. I've told you before, I want you to be happy..." He isn't touching Monoma anymore, sitting back, letting him have his space. "If this isn't what'll make you happy you can leave. I promise, I'm not trapping you here..." His gaze drifts to the side before it comes back to Monoma. "I love having you around, but I don't want you miserable. I just.. want you to be comfortable... If you leave I won't even tell anyone what happened."

Monoma listens, shutting off inside again as Hawks goes on. He hates how it feels, emotions suddenly damming up inside him, making the tears still sliding off his cheeks feel especially disgusting and wrong for continuing to flow nonetheless. It makes him feel crazy, all this internal back and forth. He shudders, wings curling around him all the more.

"... What happened..." he mumbles, "... is that I can't... pretend to be a good person anymore. I can't. And I tried to... " His breath shudders out of him in a sad chuckle. "I tried to fit in, be like everyone else, show I could be worthy of adding something good to the world, too. But it never mattered. Fate wouldn't have it. I've always been..."

He pauses, staring off. "I've always been doomed to this. I thought, maybe if I became a hero..." Another little laugh. "But that- that doesn't matter either, does it?" He clutches to his hair, raving again, fast and frantic. "Even those lauded as beacons of light and hope can't escape the depravity of the world. Is it just me-? Is it- all of us? Just unable to stop ruining and destroying each other, I'm so sick of it. Sick of hurting, hurting people-"

Monoma stops suddenly, relaxing.

He stares down at his hands, then brings them down to pet one of his wings, mimicking the way Hawks had caressed them earlier. "I'm trapping myself here," he murmurs, blank eyes following his fingers as they travel down and up, red moving along red. "Here, I'll get what I deserve." His hands slow, resting along a hollow bone. "I'll be the only one hurt," he concludes and grips down until he snaps the bone in two.

Hawks listens, saddened by the overwhelming thoughts Monoma was listing off. It's always hard, having to watch monoma as he seems to rapidly cycle through everything he could possibly feel. Every paranoid thought. Trying to keep up with him enough to adjust reactions properly makes Hawks sit back and listen, concerned, and quiet, waiting for Monoma to spin down and stay somewhere.

It ends up being somewhere he doesn't want him to be at all.

He gasps, reaching out to hold his hand just as it snaps the bone. "Neito-" The sound it makes has his wings fluttering, like they could feel it as well. "Hey.. hey," He tries to calm his own voice down, make it softer "...let me help you..." He tentatively repositions, hand out for his face instead, gauging the reaction, seeing how far he can go. "Let me help..."

A few soft whines leave him, like a wounded dog too scared to yelp out. Monoma tenses slightly as he's reached for, clinging harder to himself, unwilling to let go. His grip only tightens, slowly crushing the broken flesh and feathers he holds as the whines get a little louder, a little more urgent as the pain sinks and bites into his nerves, before he finally relinquishes it to grip onto him with bloodied fingers.

He looks at Hawks, a little frantically, a little blank, a memory of ripping playing once more in the back of his head, and then he leans into his touch once he's close enough with another tiny whimper.

"... kiss..." he mumbles vaguely, closing his eyes. "Can you kiss me..."

Monoma crushing the bone harder under his fingers makes Hawks frown, trying to keep his hand steady as he waits, because he knows. Knows very well that Monoma is going to reach out, hold him, desperately, if he gives him enough time.

And he does.

Desperately.

Of course.

He's beautiful.

Hawks grips his hand back, just as hard, feeling the blood smear onto his own fingers, looking into his eyes as he stares into him, and Hawks knows he's so scared, looking for answers. Looking for him.

He smiles at the request. Quickly leans in to catch his lips before he can even finish, sweet as he squeezes his hand, mumbling a soft "of course," as he moves his mouth with Monoma's, lovingly.

[ua-uraraka-archive]

I need a super big favor from you!

(UA-Uraraka) Hey, Tooru! Do you have a sec?

Ah, yeah, what’s up?

@ua-uraraka

[ua-monoma]

.07.12.

9:58 PM

v-shigaraki

........ is everything alright because on your blog it looks like you've suddenly forgotten everything

ua-monoma

Apparently I have! That's what I've been told, yeah...!

v-shigaraki

... i take it that means you don’t remember me, huh?

ua-monoma

Um, unfortunately... Sorry!

v-shigaraki

i see. allow me to remind you.

my name is shigaraki tomura. i take care of you because i see that you have great potential and there are no other proper role models for you to follow that understand you as much as i do.

i am the leader of the league of villains. you are my protege.

ua-monoma

O-oh...

... But I thought I was a hero?...

v-shigaraki no.

right now, you’re a student at u.a. who is masquerading as a hero-in-training. you’ve been gathering intel for us so that we can prepare our next move. we couldn’t have done any of this without you.

maybe once you were on the path to becoming a hero... but then you realized how disillusioned heroism is

and that’s when we met.

should i remind you of that too?

ua-monoma

...

I... think you might have to...

I'm sorry, I just don't really understand how I could have been that kind of person...? I really don't... it really doesn't feel right, I guess...

v-shigaraki

that’s okay. i’m always happy to be of service... especially if it’s for you, neito-kun.

you were a hero-in-training once, so i suppose i can understand why it doesn’t feel “right” to be reminded of your true nature.

but that’s okay. that’s not your fault.

it’s the world’s fault for breaking you.

and the heroes’ fault for never caring.

you can see a little bit of it on your blog now, can’t you...?

the way people are so ready to lie to you. to hurt you. to twist the truth so far back that you forget what the truth even is anymore.

you’ve seen it, haven’t you?

and you’ve seen how people are jump to call this a lie, or that a lie, but only when it’s convenient to /them/, don’t you see?

even that bakugou fellow that keeps saying that your anonymous followers are lying to you—when one anonymous stranger told you that you had to kiss him in order to return to normal, he didn’t correct you. it was an obvious lie and ANYONE could have told you, but the two boys who benefitted from it.... didn’t. they blatantly took advantage of you.

and no one was there to stop it.

...

ua-monoma ...

v-shigaraki this isn’t the first time that it’s happened to you. things like this have happened many times before, and that’s how the two of us met.

i saw you during the sports festival. i was impressed by your talents and abilities. so i reached out.

and by reaching out, i realized just how much potential you have as an individual: you’re clever, ambitious, you have a powerful quirk that you can already use fairly well despite your youth. but i also realized some other things: the way your peers bully you, the way no one stands up for you, the way your “heroes” have done practically nothing to discipline those who have wronged you.

it’s not fair. and it doesn’t have to be that way.

we used to speak fairly often... i like to listen to what you have to say...

my biggest regret is being unable to physically assist you; after all, my options are limited since i’m a wanted individual, haha...

but i’ve always tried to be there to at least listen. to let you know that you’re not alone and that you do now have allies that will work to protect you when the time comes for us to rise. to train you to be even more powerful than you already are so that you can eventually grow to defend yourself...

...

now, do you remember? at least a little bit?

ua-monoma

I...

I think so.

I don't know...

I... want to remember, really... But, honestly, I'm a little scared...

What you're describing sounds so... painful...

Already what's happened, that was already- that already hurt. And you're telling me there's so much more...? That this is just the beginning...?

Hah...

I'm sorry. I just feel like, at this point, forgetting might just... be better...

Not that I don't appreciate what you've done for me... Obviously it's a lot...

v-shigaraki

... but you see, neito-kun... it's the pain that we've lived through that makes us grow as people.

you've been through a lot. there's no denying that.

especially when you're as young as you are...

but you have to use that pain to become better, stronger---so that in the future, you'll never have to experience that pain again.

and... you're not alone, you know.

you have me, and you have my league.

they're a little... strange at times, but at the end of the day, we're all there for each other...

...

and we're all there for you.

you have nothing to apologize for.

but the others? those that've wronged you?

we'll make them pay. and soon.

ua-monoma

Make them... pay...?

v-shigaraki

the things they've done to you? it wasn't fair of them. so we have to let them know that it wasn't fair.

some people are just... ignorant.

ua-monoma

Oh.

Like, teaching them a lesson...?

Enough to make sure it never happens again..

Because I'd like that.. I think.

That.. that at least feels... right, somehow...

v-shigaraki

exactly like that.

after all, if no one tells them that they're wrong, they'll keep making the same mistake...

my end goal is to make sure that they never make those mistakes again. society would be better that way, don't you think?

ua-monoma

It... would...

v-shigaraki

there are people that often misconstrue our goals within the league... but they're too ignorant to understand... they just believe whatever it is that the heroes tell them...

and i don't think that's very fair either.

and it's because of that... that we have to teach them, you see?

ua-monoma

Yes... It makes sense.

v-shigaraki

i'm glad to hear that.

memory loss is... certainly never fun. but if there's anything i can do to help you... please let me know.

if there's anything else you need help... remembering, i could very easily fill you in.

ua-monoma

...

Did I ever hurt someone...? Directly, I mean. For any reason...

v-shigaraki

there's no instance i can think of when you physically hurt someone, no.

ua-monoma

Oh.

... That's good.

Thank you.

v-shigaraki

you're very welcome. anything for you, neito-kun. :)

ua-monoma

Haha...

I have another question, actually...

Did I call you... Tomura? Or...

v-shigaraki

... sometimes, you called me father.

ua-monoma

Oh...?

Okay...

Thank you, Father...

[ua-monoma]

[v-shigaraki] ...... it’s been a while, hasn’t it, neito? leave the dormitory in an hour. i’ll meet you at the gates.

...

[ua-monoma]

traitor arc be like

[ua-uraraka-archive]

She feels the buzz and her heart skips a beat. She doesn’t look at it until she’s in the bathroom. No risk of security cameras there.

...

How could she possibly do this? Unless...

He now stands in the shadows of the school.

It’s massive. Towering over him, gleaming in the moonlight.

The flames on his skin still have yet to flicker out completely and they cast little glittering lights along the grass as he stumbles across it, closer and closer. Dangerously close.

If he had died, he never would have been able to…

If he’d died, he’d never would have seen…

His fingers keep typing, feverishly.

1:36 AM

TXT to:

@ua-uraraka @ua-monoma

i need to get inside the school you need to fucking get me a way in. distract security so i can get inside. if you do not let me in RIGHT NOW i will kill you don’t ask questions i need to get inside the

Nothing seems right.

He deletes them all before they can send.

…

Standby for further instructions.

He sends that instead. Then he starts to type again…

…

[ua-monoma]

.04.17.

@ua-uraraka�� 11:08 PM

Monoma... I need to talk to you about something. Please, you’re the only one I can turn to.

ua-monoma 11:10 PM

... Aha.

Sure.

Um, what's wrong?

ua-uraraka 11:11 PM

I... just got introduced to the rest of the League

And I’m so scared.

ua-monoma 11:12 PM

Oh hell

When? Just now??

ua-uraraka 11:12 PM

A few minutes ago.

I don’t know why they did it. What more could they want from me??

ua-monoma 11:17 PM

I... I don't know.

I really don't, I'm sorry...

ua-uraraka 11:18 PM

They um.... they mentioned you. And someone else.

ua-monoma 11:18 PM

They mentioned me???

Ugh

... Who else did they...

Ugh.

I guess I can backread if I need to...

ua-uraraka 11:20 PM

They didn’t say a name. But I learned something pretty interesting about you.

ua-monoma 11:21 PM

...

Oh?

ua-uraraka 11:21 PM

Yeah.

They aren’t paying you.

ua-monoma 11:23 PM

Oh...?

I... wasn't aware you were even getting paid.

Haha...

So much for equality in the workforce huh, ahaha..

ua-uraraka 11:27 PM

You’re doing it because you want to.

I’m doing it for my parents.

ua-monoma 11:28 PM

I'm not doing anything because I want to!

Fucking... how dare you...

I've barely even done anything, you- everything that's happened to endanger our school this year has been your fault!

ua-uraraka 11:29 PM

Why else would you be there willingly!

They’ll kill my parents if I say no! And I can’t exactly turn them in!!

I.... what happened was my fault.... and I still have nightmares about it. I feel so bad. I can’t... I can’t keep helping them. People will die if it doesn’t stop.

ua-monoma 11:30 PM

Yes, because you're the only one who's allowed to have their lives threatened by the League. You and your cushy fucking paycheck.

God.

You have some nerve... Insulting me and then playing the victim card and trying to get me to help you...

ua-uraraka 11:32 PM

You act like they give me hundreds of thousands of yen for this. It’s only 5000 ¥ when I do something good enough ...

ua-monoma 11:33 PM

And I get nothing but a heaping pile of abuse, what's your fucking point.

ua-uraraka 11:33 PM

Look I... I didn’t mean to yell at you I just.... I just got freaked out that they brought me into their group chat.

ua-monoma 11:33 PM

Tch.

ua-uraraka 11:33 PM

I shouldn’t have bothered you.

ua-monoma 11:33 PM

No, it's fine. God.

...

You don't actually want to be doing this, right?

ua-uraraka 11:34 PM

No. I hate that I was stupid enough to let myself get into this mess.

ua-monoma 11:34 PM

Okay. And I'm the same.

I don't want to be doing this either.

I'm stuck in just as deep as you.

ua-uraraka 11:34 PM

But what else can I do? I’ve gotten in way too deep and if I confess then I’ll never be a hero. My parents might even have to move.

I shouldn’t be mad at you.... it’s not your fault...

ua-monoma 11:35 PM

Ugh

It's not your fault either...

We shouldn't be fighting, really... Considering...

If we're the only hero hopefuls stuck in there, we should act as a team...

... Or something.

ua-uraraka 11:36 PM

A team? Against them?

ua-monoma 11:36 PM

I don't know...

I have a... idk if you can really call it a strategy.

But it's something.

ua-uraraka 11:37 PM

But blowing them in would mean exposing us. Aren’t you afraid of that?

ua-monoma 11:37 PM

Mm...

Of course I am...

ua-uraraka 11:37 PM

... I want to hear your plan.

ua-monoma 11:38 PM

It's not much of one.

It's... not particularly good, either...

ua-uraraka 11:38 PM

It’s better than nothing.

And I’d rather go against them with you than on my own.

ua-monoma 11:40 PM

That's... almost sweet.

I guess, ahaha.

ua-uraraka 11:41 PM

I judged everything way too quickly.

ua-monoma 11:41 PM

It's fine...

I didn't exactly think the best of you when I found out, either.

ua-uraraka 11:41 PM

I mean, who would?

Even if we have our own reasons, it doesn’t look good to anyone on the outside.

ua-monoma 11:42 PM

Mhm...

ua-uraraka 11:42 PM

I guess I should let you go. I’m sure you have just as much homework as I do, haha...

ua-monoma 11:43 PM

I've finished mine. But, ah... I suppose if you want to go now, you can.

...

Probably good to delete this conversation from your phone, if you weren't planning to already.

ua-uraraka 11:44 PM

I should have started it, but the other messages distracted me.

Yeah, I always do.

ua-monoma 11:44 PM

Right...

... It's probably better to talk about these things, ah... In person.

To save time.

ua-uraraka 11:44 PM

Yes... I think you’re right.

ua-monoma 11:44 PM

Yeah.

So, um...

If you ever wanna hear my sad excuse for a plan, haha...

Door's open.

ua-uraraka 11:45 PM

...

I didn’t want to do my work anyway.

I’ll be there soon.

ua-monoma 11:46 PM

Cool...

See you then.

ua-uraraka 11:46 PM

Yeah, bye.

[ua-monoma]

[An encrypted message is sent to Monoma’s cell phone.] it seems that you’re really enjoying yourself there on-screen, aren’t you, monoma-kun? we didn’t mean to wrap you up in our little promotional video, but i suppose what’s done is done. i’ll be visiting you soon to ah... straighten some things out... -shigaraki

...

[Enjoying himself. That’s funny. After being dragged through countless interviews only to have the last one interrupted so violently, yeah. He was having so much fun.

Sometimes, he really couldn’t stand him.

He reads it through once more before he just drops his phone back onto his bed. He didn’t think an answer would be necessary for someone who was gonna do whatever the hell he wanted, whenever he wanted it..]

[ua-monoma]

.05.01

villain chat:

ua-monoma 11:50 PM

I think I get it now. Just a little.

How you all can be like this.

The world is... such a terrible fucking place. Of course it rots you to this point. There's nothing left to do at this point but fucking rot and let it kill you.

I'm so tired of feeling crushed by it all...

...

[Monoma is offline]

@v-hawks 11:52 PM

...

@v-deku 12:07 AM

Ah...that’s not good...

[askmistdad]

Kurogiri‘s smile grows wider as Monoma reaches out and touches his hand, and before he can pull back Kurogiri is closing his fingers with a strange sense of finality. But he keeps his tone light and his eyes as gentle as possible as he pulls Monoma closer, letting go of his hand to place a hand between his shoulder blades just like a father would to guide his children.

His touch is barely there, but firm as he guides Monoma through the portal, the mist of it cold but reaching out to twine welcomingly around Monoma’s wrists.

It takes only seconds for them to step out again into the bar, Shigaraki waiting patiently at the bar. For a second, eyes focused on Shigaraki, Kurogiri‘s smile turns devastatingly sharp, pride and warning in a single moment, but then he is soft once more, hand gentle on Monoma’s shoulder.

“Welcome to our home, Monoma,“ he murmurs, low and quiet. “The only place we can truly be ourselves. Let us show yo what a family is like.“ It’s not a lie—he does want to help this boy. Kurogiri has always had a habit of picking up strays, and this one could become so very dear.

(( @ua-monoma @v-shigaraki ))

#i dont #…want to let them anymore

Kurogiri smiles at the post, as good as confirmation where Monoma was concerned. The boy would never make a decision if he was left alone, and after a few hours of hushed conversation in the evening, Kurogiri felt what the boy wanted was really quite simple.

He wanted to win.

He wanted to be happy.

He wanted to be loved.

But most of all, he didn’t want to choose.

So Kurogiri would choose for him. Make an offer, hold out his hand, and let Monoma take it. He wouldn’t make any ultimatums, not yet. But it could be enough. Setting his phone down, Kurogiri sends a wink to Shigaraki at the bar. “Time to go.”

With a flick of his wrist a portal stands waiting, and on the other side stands Monoma, alone, moments after saying goodbye to the meddling Bakugou woman. Ignoring any surprise or indignation on Monoma’s face as he steps through, Kurogiri speaks first.

“Good morning, young Monoma. I saw your answer. You don’t need to be frightened—I am not here to hurt you, but to help you and care for you, if you so choose.” Kurogiri smiles the best he can, wide and warm.

“Remember, Monoma. I offer a family, support for your true self. I offer self confidence and the fact that you will never have to choose again��a villain has to work for it, but they can have everything they want. Why don’t you at least give it a try?” And so Kurogiri holds out his hand.

(( @ua-monoma @v-shigaraki ))

[ua-monoma]

.5.1.

12:45 PM

@v-hawks

... sorry for snapping a little ahah..

it'll be alright...

ua-monoma

...

v-hawks

... i love you..

ua-monoma

I love you too

v-hawks

what's wrong..?

v-hawks

neito..

ua-monoma

H-hh...

v-hawks

hey...

talk to me, babe.. what's up..

ua-monoma

Hawks,,,

v-hawks

mmm..?

ua-monoma

I... I can't let anything bad happen to her,, I can't do this

v-hawks

nothin bad is gonna happen to her, i promise..

she's gonna be safe.

ua-monoma

Hh... hawks she's my responsibility if something happens to her it's my fault

I don't want this!!!

v-hawks

no no no baby, nothin's gonna happen, we don't want it either...

ua-monoma

I don't trust that that bitch isn't going to do something to her!!!

She already doesn't listen-

v-hawks

if she does anythin i'll kill her.

ua-monoma

Please...

v-hawks

of course, love..

ua-monoma

... thank you...

I... I want to save her... anything it takes so that she comes back is fine,

v-hawks

i love you so much...

ua-monoma

i love you too

v-hawks

ahh..

we'll save her.. don't worry.

ua-monoma

thank you...

thank you thank you

v-hawks

ahahaa.. anything for you..

[ua-monoma]

(v-kurogiri) Monoma, I wound not listen to or meet with that Toga if I were you. She seems to be an alternate—one that is particularly unstable, particularly violent, and quite a liar as well... I have been quite busy, but I will always make time for you.

… Th-that’s not the real one?

Oh

… oh shit, um. Okay.

[ua-monoma]

ricky Today at 2:33 PM

"Do you even have a choice at this point to what side you’ll have to end up on eventually?" nods...

monoma just... has a few Issues in the background... which... are my fave problems of his... his backburner problems.. like him dealing with the things his grandfather tells him and stuff... the Overwhelming things that are just..  huge powerful forces in his life that he feels rly hopeless against...

like the big abstract concepts like... good and evil or... thinking about fate... thinking about people being blessed vs cursed... like he.. Believes in that shit so hard and v hawks telling him he doesnt have a choice in where he'll end up just fed into that so hardddddddddddddddddddd.......

[ua-monoma]

Well, well. Isn’t this a sight? 💚

[He pouts at him, face flushing a deep red as he bites his lip hard, fighting the electric urge to lunge at him and yank off his clothes and–]

…. hh- [He turns his face away, blushing all the more.] T-take a picture, it’d last longer…

[ua-monoma]

when monoma gets back to his room there's yet another thing waiting for him. it was a small box, with little ties around it. light blue. nice, smooth, not the cheapest for sure. inside there were chocolates, pills, a small dark red feather (only sharp at the tip) and a note. "hey..! sorry we haven't talked in a while. sorry about.. last time. i got you something to sleep easier, something sweet, and something meaningful, i guess. come see me soon, yeah? don't ask where i got most of this."

When Monoma sees the box, he pouts at first in annoyance. Again. His room had been broken into... again. The lack of privacy was irritating, for lack of a better term. It was pervasive, disturbing in a way that he didn’t feel like analyzing or acknowledging, though he couldn’t deny how much he absolutely hated it, especially after the attack. Scowling, he has half a mind to toss the box away to express the frustration building up in him, but curiosity seizes him instead as he picks it up. He sighs. Damn it.

The first thing that catches his eye when he opens it is the feather, the sight of it making his lips twitch as relief seeps into his muscles. Alright... He didn’t mind this as much. Lifting it, he feels along the soft fibers, thoughtful as he reads the note. 

Meaningful, huh...

He rubs the sharp little tip against the pad of his thumb vaguely as he goes through the rest of the box. The chocolate is a brand he likes that’s a little more out of the way to get, which he likes, and the pills...

...

Well. He digs the tip in a little more until it starts to prick in, and then he places it back into its box, placing the box into a drawer besides his bed. Later, then... This is something he’ll deal with later. 

[ua-monoma]

I do indeed~ 🔑

T-tch… God I hate that fucking key.

It should be obvious. I don’t want anyone like that respecting me. These sides we have between good and evil, hero and villain… they exist for a reason. I don’t want that side touching me, feeling anything for me… anything positively… What could I possibly gain from their respect but trouble?

I’m sure if I think about it more, I’d change my mind. Respect can be useful. Can be manipulated. But I… I’d rather keep it all to the back of my thoughts for now. That’s really it.