#could be a fun and rewarding thing--that the journey of finding and interpreting information

[rustedhills]

My opinions on genAI are too complex to write in a snappy tumblr post BUT if my university just, say, updated its AI policy and released its OWN AI PROGRAM

And also values its reputation as an academic and research university (I hope)

And generally wants its student body to do Good Academic Work

Then THIS

Is a WILD thing to say when the AI is supposedly SPECIFICALLY FOR THE STUDENT BODY

"Oh yeah we released a new does-work-in-an-academic-setting machine"

"It's just got a significant error rate and shouldn't be trusted lol"

"lmao"

"Also we're laying off a bunch of staff and instituting budget cuts university wide"

"But tuition's still 50k a semester"

"ppppbpbbptpbpbpbpbpttttt"

[voidsumbrella]

rotating elden ring endings...

(under a cut because it got long lol)

i did most of my liveposting on twitter, so if you saw that you'll know that i:

tried/am trying to do¹ as much of the content as possible in my first run of the game

savescummed to see all 4 endings i had unlocked (fracture/duskborn/despair/stars)

Did Not Like Most Of Them.

im sure this is a common take, but going through this amazing intensive journey just for a 20 second cutscene was a huge letdown; im so glad i savescummed for the elden lord endings back to back, bc if i had fully replayed a longass game to see the same thing reskinned with almost no dialogue changes i would have been fucking furious. im a little less mad now- having fun in the dlc cemented the journey > destination aspect- but im still spending a lot of time analyzing the missed potential there.

from a purely technical perspective i guess it kind of makes sense that they had to be vague and brief. 90% of the story and worldbuilding is up to the player to find and interpret, and the 10% that's directly conveyed by the mandatory plot is nearly always colored by what perspective it's coming from- it would be hard to go into any detail about the repercussions of your actions without telling you information you're supposed to find on your own³. still, they could have at least shown more of the world than just leyendell. it's not like we don't do any mainline exploring.

the main wobbly bit for me is, obviously, the content of the endings. it fully makes sense that age of fracture is bland as shit. it's the ending you get if you, the player, don't engage with the world: you speak to who you have to and no one else, do what is asked of you and no more, accept what you are told without examining it or questioning it- and are rewarded with the cycle continuing. the ambiguous power of your rule has nothing to do with you, and the world remains suspended in its decay. same as it ever was. i didn't get the age of order ending⁴ but from what i can tell from external resources it also makes sense for that to be Off as well. the basis is that the cycle is perpetuated not just by marika and the golden order, but as an extension of the greater will itself, and things are only screwed up now because everyone up to now just didn't do it right. but, y'know, you're special, you're chosen, you understand it all- surely you'll be the one to succeed! and then you don't, because the world is like this by design.

blessing of despair being an elden lord ending makes substantially more sense in light of the dlc. granted, i had a lot of detail comprehension issues on this one, bc it didn't click for me that the curse was omen related⁵ until someone pointed it out way later and i checked the wiki. even then, it was still confusing as to how that existed within the existing power framework, because fucking with the rebirth cycle seems like it's going if not directly against the greater will's hold on things, then at least yanking it off course. but! the introduction of the hornsent makes it crystal clear that the notion of horns being a curse at all is a cultural thing⁶ specifically because marika has personal beef with them. spreading omen-ness as a ~horrifyingly evil defilement~ only works within the existing framework, and by itself doesn't require any significant structural changes. same shit as always, but more people have horns now.

that being said: this being an elden lord ending is boring as hell. like it works, it lines up lore-wise, but it's got a lot of missed potential. without retrofitting the dlc lore the closest tie the omens have is to the crucible itself, which is totally powerful enough to exist in opposition to the greater will, we could have had a total return to the primordial ending, that would have been really cool!! the tree could have sprouted horns!! dlc could imply the hornsent being revived as a culture in the way that age of stars implies the nox coming back!!!! it would be coooooool-

anyway. im bitter that the duskborn was an elden lord ending. im still sorting through the specifics of death/destined death/death getting split in half, so i don't have a concrete argument for why it's bullshit or what the alternative would be, i just think that quest was way too involved for it to get the same 20 seconds of nothing that the other 3 got. if you're going to kill off 3 of the best characters in the game you could at least have the decency to give some sort of payoff <- objective sentence written by someone with no biases. (¬_¬).

i completely get why people are Like That about ranni- she wasn't even my favorite character while i was playing, but my affection towards her skyrocketed because the age of stars ending is so blatantly The Good One!! that and lord of frenzied flame⁷ are the only two that are anything!!! it didn't have to be like this!!!!

this has completely devolved into bitching. oops. anyway. i don't really have a closing statement for this or anything, im just halfway through compiling a timeline/lore dump and wanted to jot down my thoughts, and then make them everyone else's problem lmao.

-----

¹ not done with the dlc yet, my save got corrupted² partway through shadow keep and i had to restart from the backup i used to savescum. ² fun fact: if your computer crashes/shuts down unexpectedly while the save file is loading it irreparably fucks your data ³ a bitch can dream about what it would have been like if they filtered the ending dialogue by tracking exactly what you found and who you spoke to but that's a MASSIVE undertaking development wise, they were never gonna fucking do that. ⁴ corhyn left the hold and i forgot he existed lol. i tried to find him when i realized he was Actually Relevant, but i didn't immediately spot him and didn't care enough to try harder. sorry goldmask, im sure you're chill. or something. ⁵ i didn't visually parse the seedbeds as having horns, and since i didn't do seluvius's subquest or reload the area after getting the rune, i never got his armor, which tells you directly what was up. i kinda thought he was covered in teeth. ⁶ the game actually does a pretty decent job pointing out that the human vs nonhuman dichotomy is more like... tribalistic? there's probably a better word for it- than anything else. the misbegotten aren't attacking everyone on sight because they're animalistic ane inherently evil, they're violently rebelling because humans have been keeping them as slaves. the "not saints, just on the losing side of a war" comment leda makes applies to pretty much all sides, including the ones we relate to. ⁷ i'm actively avoiding looking into that one too much, because im planning on getting it my second playthrough and i want to go in with clean eyes. which is surprisingly easy to do, it's super split off from the stuff im trying to dissect.

[chemicalpink]

Hey, I hope you are doing good this was a thing that was wondering me so there are lot of bts future spouse /soulmate/twinflame videos being made on youtube and honestly everyone is being psychic like it has become a shitshow and what was previously just for curiosity fun and entertainment are becoming extremely emotionally invested in the topic especially for maknae line soulmate it would be interesting if the can do a tarot reading or your spiritual experience why is the future spouse saga turning ugly and does universe what us to know something through it !? Because it's becoming pretty crazy right now

Okay so I believe that yes, the spiritual part has a lot to do behind this occurrence, but I also think its roots lay on psicosocial matters and honestly I could go on for days about this but I’ll try to restrict it to a few points that you’ve mentioned

Why all of a sudden everyone seems to be tarot readers/astrologers/psychic?

The capitalism behind celebrities and how does that play a part in what is going on?

Are these people accurate at all?

How does energy shifting play a part in this?

Is the soulmate journey even something a third person would be able to note?

But first a Disclaimer: this opinion/rant is based on my experience with spirituality, I am obviously a mere mortal, so I do not hold the absolute truth. Spirituality is a constant learning process and it is open to discussion and interpretation of each person. I am also now a proud sociologist graduate that specialises in a lot of the stuff that has to do with what anon is asking, I’m a social behaviouralist applied to the entertainment industry as well but I’ll also provide my resources in the end.

A/N: Some of you might not yet be ready to read all of this, if I see ANY of you trying to start beef with me, even after the disclaimer, I'm gonna block you. If you want to talk more about it or want to discuss it further, DO SO OFF ANON. ISTG you’ve been warned, I’ve been working on this for the longest time, it even has resources to back all of it up! I’m so glad anon asked, I’m done being diplomatic on this topic (I know people that usually ask stuff are so respectful and i love you guys for it, this note is for those people that regularly jump on my asks to stir things up)

You guys are in for a whole academic article if you decide to read this

SO FUN AND EXCITINGGGG Let us start with behavioural economics as our base to understand the whole phenomenon, it's such a broad and kinda complex concept (especially since I’m trying to extrapolate it to this particular scenario) so let me do my best. It has a lot to do with trend following, although at least to me, it's unclear how exactly this content came to be (soulmate readings, channeling messages, etc) I am guessing it had something to do with an intersectionality between the general spirituality boom that we’ve met with during the pandemic and some person that just as any other marketable opportunity, saw a bridge between fandom life and this spiritual life (both prominent trends in the last two years or so) and honestly, it worked perfectly, whatever their initial intentions were, they threw out a new “product” and it kind of sold itself, two different trends coming together… turned into a behavioural game theory where if you played the part that allows your content to be consumed, you’ll get rewarded for it. In more simple words, tarot meets fandoms (alternatively, tarot meets BTS) is great as it is! but the fan behaviour (which we’ll talk about in a bit) positions the most private parts of the celebrities’ lives to be much more interesting than things that we are already able to see (personal experience, love readings do so much better than idk career readings and it all comes down to behavioural trends of perceiving ‘love’ as something very intimate)

Now, this is where we’ll begin to talk about capitalism as a whole, even in non-monetary systems like social media, where it takes more of a rewarding system via likes, views, reblogs, etc. The whole principle of us living in such a system is being aspirational, we see others profiting off of something, we might want to reach out and do the same so we can profit ourselves, which honestly, I think is what happened with the whole BTS soulmate readings boom, they get a lot of attention, and as a basic market law, as demand goes up and a few people that initially did these readings are no longer capable to satisfy the need of the people wanting to know all the tea, there are market opportunities for other people to do the same thing and increase the offer, although since this whole theory is behavioural, it is very context-dependant, which ends up not following the principle of the consumers being rational about how much and what content they consume, they just sort of consume all of it, regardless of whether the content creator is qualified to offer such content or not, which ultimately only adds onto a never ending cycle of more people claiming they are tarot readers/astrologers/psychics and fear nothing because this is the internet, you don't really have to enter any qualifications to be able to create content, whether someone is reliable in internet terms is basically all about how many likes they’ve got (which is why I always tell you guys to please consume content responsible).

When it comes to accuracy- I guess that’s the hardest part of all, we can’t just have pointers that would automatically tells us if someone’s craft is valid or not, since everyone’s craft is different all craft is valid to a certain extent (you can easily find scammers of course but that’s another story) what we can have are personal standards and deciding what content to consume or whose content to consume, but that’s entirely a personal decision and since so many people are invested in it- it seems really hard that these “market tendencies” might change any time soon. On that same note of accuracy, I really feel the need to talk about a major occurrence I’ve come across in this whole soulmate scene, minors. Now, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a minor and approaching spirituality (I was very much a minor when I started) but there’s a huge difference between just playing around and deciding to create content for the whole world to have access to. Of course I’m aware not all tarot readers in the BTS fandom are minors, and ARMY is very diverse and even if they were only minors it would be wrong to invalidate them, but we can’t ignore the statistics of it when touching this particular topic, according to 2020 data, 50,31% of ARMY are below 18 years old, and 42,59% are between 18-29 but why is this important? because the exact historical and economic moment we are living in mainly impacts these two age groups, thus making all 92,90% of ARMY a potential target to consuming or falling in a behavioural game theory of creating this content without them necessarily being qualified for it. But hey, why do you keep talking about the importance of being qualified? Glad you asked, creating spiritual content all comes down to one amazing term: accountability.

And this will explore two main phases of it, one applicable for that 50,31% that could potentially be drawn to create spiritual content and other for the 42,59% that could potentially be dragged to creating that content without much spiritual knowledge. For the first one, it has a lot to do with cognitive aspects, young people tend to do stuff without much further thought about how their actions impact other people, which, as they should, they are kids, they shouldn’t have to worry too much about emotional responsibility as us adults do, furthermore, they are in life stages where they can’t really comprehend many abstract concepts that we later learn in life, and spirituality is one of those concepts, so they tend to just have fun with it with no regards on how their content might impact other minors (this is where the whole feeding a false scenario that is potentially delusional in exchange of more views, likes comes into play) on a more spiritual level, they also aren’t able to comprehend the boundaries of the celebrities they’re reading for, us readers have to always be careful about the information we give out since it is not ours to give. As for the second group, some of this is still applicable since theorists consider a full cognitive maturity until 23 years of age, but since it is very intersectional itself, i would found it more to a spiritual responsibility, since they are young adults, and if they haven’t been spiritually guided as kids, they’re most probably eager to learn and just awakening yet to some of them the drive to this spirituality is content creation instead of inner work, so they get their hands on a tarot deck, might kind of read a few things, call it a day and start reading for BTS (note: not all of them, I’m aware)

As for the maknae line being the most sought out people with this content, I guess it kinda makes sense now that I’ve said all of the information above, maknae line is closest to the age group of 92,90% of ARMY, so they instantly become more marketable to this content creation and the whole Game Theory that we are seeing. With all that being said, and just adding a note coming from my own spiritual experience, soulmates in any form are a difficult topic for a third person to prode, which is why I, personally, tend to not touch that topic, love is one hell of a concept, especially since we all have different conceptions of love and interpersonal relationships. I do know for a fact that there’s only so far we can go in terms of fated connections, like with astrology, but even then, we would have to know their birth times exactly (so we can check for any indicator or a soulmate connection), and/or compare BTS with the rest of the world’s population in order to accurately tell if someone has a soulmate synastry/overlay/composite with them. Also, soulmate journeys are intimate and we are all just fans, what right do we even have to look for things that do not and will never belong to us?

This is why I’m always telling you guys to PLEASE consume content responsibly! Really! Us content consumers also have our part to play that can help us get more accurate, more drama-free content

REFERENCES (what? you thought I was joking? they’re in alphabetical order)

ARMYCENSUS 2020

Loewenstein, G., O’Donoghue, T., & Rabin, M. (2003). Projection bias in predicting future utility. Quarterly Journal of Economics, 118(4), 1209-1248.

March, J. G. (1978). Bounded rationality, ambiguity, and the engineering of choice. The Bell Journal of Economics, 9(2), 587-608.

Markus, H. R., & Kitayama, S. (1991). Culture and the self: Implications for cognition, emotion and motivation Psychological Review, 98, 224-253.

Mazar, N., Amir, O., & Ariely, D. (2008). The dishonesty of honest people: A theory of self-concept maintenance. Journal of Marketing Research, 45(6), 633-644.

Murphy, S. T., & Zajonc, R. B. (1993). Affect, cognition, and awareness: Affective priming with optimal and suboptimal stimulus exposures. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64, 723-729.

Samson, A., & Voyer, B. (2014). Emergency purchasing situations: Implications for consumer decision-making. Journal of Economic Psychology, 44, 21-33.

Schwartz, B. (2004). The paradox of choice: Why more is less. New York: Ecco.

Shah, A. K., & Oppenheimer, D. M. (2008). Heuristics made easy: an effort-reduction framework. Psychological Bulletin, 134(2), 207-222.

Thaler, R. H. (2015). Misbehaving: The making of behavioral economics. Allen Lane.

Thaler, R. H. (2008). Mental accounting and consumer choice. Marketing Science, 27, 15-25.

Wood, W., & Neal, D. T. (2009). The habitual consumer. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 19, 579-592.

[black-quartz-sphinx-judge-my-vow]

Exalted 3e Villain Analysis

When I was first going through the various Adversaries of the Righteous, I skipped right past Adeimantus, because I’m shallow. His art just isn’t evocative. But ho boy! Beneath that pale, bland exterior lurks a villain worthy of an entire campaign. So let’s talk about that.

Adeimantus is the ruler of a utopian City from the Shogunate named Beimeni-Ta. A city which was consumed by the Wyld ages ago. It now creeps into Creation like an infection transforming cities and slums into itself.

What a great freaking idea, wow. The sidewalks the towers, the people all transform into echoes of a golden age lost to time. Can’t you just see the brick back alley suddenly becoming a marvelous marble tunnel? The building torn halfway between one style and material and the next? The crowds of excited peasants waiting for their shacks to complete their transformation into mansions? Now that’s a threat! How do you even deal with something like that? Do you burn down the infected part of your city to keep it from spreading? Do you jail the new citizens to stop the from singing the praises of utopia, and converting more people to their cause? Or do you go after the Raksha that’s behind it all?

What I like most about Adeimantus is that he’s totally on the up and up, at least in my interpretation. He’s not doing this because he wants to eat every baby in Creation. He genuinely wants everyone in the world to live in his perfect city. So much in fact that he has a charm that not only changes the city to match the desires of an individual, but he himself changes to match that desire.

After the players have defeated Adeimantus and sent his city back to the mists: “That’s alright, we’ll start over as many times as you need. This is all for you.”

Which brings another terrifying aspect of Adeimantus into view. When he vanishes, so too does the city, and all of it’s people. Any buildings and individuals changed by Beimeni-Ta get whisked away to the Wyld, even victory can mean that a entire slice of a city is amputated. Spooky.

As far as a combatant, meh. If you’re using Adeimantus to beat people down, you’re doing it wrong. Although he does have a knife that can make you ugly to anyone who can read, which is fun. His main power in combat comes from his ability to summon battle groups of his followers to attack the pcs. Plus ya gotta involve the city itself in any combat you do. Potholes open up beneath your feet, shingles slide off the roofs onto your head, and other such irritants. Maybe give the city it’s own initiative, and stat block, why not?

His real strength comes from his ability to manipulate intimacies. Not only can he instill them in people through their dreams, but he can also make you disregard any that make you oppose him. Very fun, and could be interesting if you have players who are very dedicated to rp. Otherwise think of all the NPCs you can target, and turn against the players. Now that’s high drama. Solars want to live in Utopia too right?

Especially since as I said before Adeimantus is a chill dude. He doesn’t want to resort to violence, he rules a utopia, and wants to share it’s bounty with the world. Of course his Utopia ends up being pure madness when it returns to the Wyld, but no one seems to be dissatisfied.

So I’ve gushed on about this beautiful bald man long enough. What are some ways you can use him in a game?

1. A world saving device was once held in Beimeni-Ta, and it’s needed once more. Do you: look for a city infected by Beimeni-Ta. Crusade into the wild to reclaim the lost city. Or maybe infect a nearby city, long enough for the vaults of Beimeni-Ta to manifest.

2. Beimeni-Ta begins to arise within Great Forks. How does the city of a thousand gods react to such an intrusion? Is the draw of Utopia enough to tempt even a deity? Or do they hold firm as more and more of their followers join the cult of Adeimantus?

3. Every Winter Adeimantus visits a struggling village in the north, and provides them with supplies needed to survive the harsh winter. What scheme is he up to? It’s been generations since he started doing this, and no apparent harm has been done. The villages are convinced he’s a benevolent god of winter, how will they react when the players try to destroy him before he can corrupt their village?

4. Beimeni-Ta is ruled not only by Adeimantus, but also a Senate of Demons. So this Fair Folk, has an alliance with demons, as well as a permanent city in the Wyld. There’s something deeply interesting going on with Adeimantus. In his Stat block it does say the Senators are Raksha too, but I much prefer him being a complete weirdo. But as for plot hooks. A city has already fully fallen to Beineni-Ta. Now there is only one thing left to do. Characters must introduce a bill to the demon senate which will revoke the city’s hold on creation, at least this part of it. Can the pcs, get it through sub-committees, and over come a filibuster lead by a second circle demon?

5. Burns 100 Poets is a monk of the Immaculate order who has thrice vanquished Adeimantus from creation. He carries the weight of the many poets he’s killed to keep Adeimantus from spreading his corruption. He is retired now nearly 200, and works day and night to craft the poems which could have been were it not for his diligence. He may hold valuable information in how to stop Beimeni-Ta from spreading. However this gentle poet of an old man may suggest methods the pcs would consider frightful.

Finally let’s talk about a campaign that has Adeimantus as it’s big bad.

I call this one: Lookshy, Rise of The Shogun.

The basic premise of it being Beimeni-Ta was a city during the Shogunate Era, a pretty important one. Reclaiming it would finally give The 7th Legion reason to accept a new individual as Shogun.

Act 1

The Players, Dragon-Blooded protectors of Lookshy are tasked with looking into strange happenings around the city. The marching band plays a song hundreds of years out of date, a new building appears seemingly out of nowhere. Things escalate when a section of the city’s rampart’s becomes infected with shiny new lightning ballista. Suddenly the General Staff is torn on how to deal with the situation. with some opting to let the infection spread to access Beimeni-Ta’s ancient resources, to others wanting to combat the plague before it’s too late. The group is forced to navigate this tenuous situation, while beating back Adeimantus’ growing cult, and corrupted gentes. Culminating in the final confrontation with Adeimantus, and a member of the general staff he’s corrupted. Adeimantus vanishes with his pawn defeated, and takes however much of Lookshy he’s corrupted away with him, back to the wild. The walls are breached, the city is in ruins, the army is divided, and things are looking dire. Were The Realm not crippled by The Scarlet Empresses’ disappearance, this would be the end.

Act 2

After a brief recovery clarity comes to the surviving populace of Lookshy. The Shogunate Bureaucracy has records detailing this Beimeni-Ta many of the afflicted citizens were rambling about. It was once a seat of power for the Shogunate a place of immense importance, that fell into the Wyld never to be seen again, until now. Most importantly it was the final resting place of The Imperial Seal. The stamp with which The Shogun made words on paper law. With it, a simple document can be stamped and a new Shogun can be appointed, the shogunate will live once more. If only Beimeni-Ta can be dragged back out of The Wyld. If only... we could find it.

No maps of Beimeni-Ti’s location survive, only records of military assignments. Letters for a general to withdraw from the defense of the city, a general by the name of Tepet...

With the only lead they have the players are sent under cover to The Realm to find what they can about Beimeni-Ta from it’s ancient defenders. There’s investigation, spy work, a heist. All of which ends in a social confrontation with Tepet’s ruling Council which presents them with an offer: fulfill their oath to the Shogunate, regain their honor by retaking Beimeni-Ta.

Act 3

The impossible has happened. The players have convinced Lookshy to break with tradition, and march on the Wyld. House Tepet has given their only legion to the cause. The two armies of the Shogunate unite like something unseen in anyone’s time, and march through the river lands towards the end of the world. It’s a long grueling march, through an untold number of kingdoms. The centuries of Lookshy’s political favors, and military threats fray with each border they cross. Threats seeks to divide them with armies and from within. The Lookshy soldiers see their Tepet allies as traitors, and the Tepet aren’t too fond of the scavengerland barbarians either. The players must use their genius to get their army through in one piece. Until they reach, the border marches.

Act 4

From here on it’s all out warfare. The players and their small army must reclaim creation step by step enduring every machination the Wyld can through at them, from raining lava, to forests of grass as tall as a warstrider, and as sharp as a blade. All until they lay siege to Beimeni-Ta. At last the jewel is within their sight. They just have to overcome Beimeni-Ta’s endless militia of maddened citizens, their 100 Demon Senate, and of course Adeimantus fully empowered by the wyld and Beimeni-Ta itself. Who can with but a look, a touch, who’s very presence beckons you to join him in Utopia, in oblivion.

And what are the rewards for such an epic journey? A brand new city to rule over? The title of Shogun, and resurrections of the shogunate? An arsenal of first age weapons from the shogunate’s richest city? Who’s to say what dreams await you in Beimeni-Ta? 

Only Adeimantus knows.

Only Adeimantus can show you the way.

[kiruuuuu]

Bandit/Ace PWP in which Ace wants to try out sensory deprivation and Bandit gladly obliges. (Rating E, smut + fluff, ~5.6k words) - written for myself, because I could 🖤 This is the song mentioned in the beginning :) Please enjoy!

.

Where do I begin?, Shirley Bassey sings in his ear and Ace’s entire body breaks out in gooseflesh.

Haptic is his entire world, and haptic only. Helpless, he squirms under touches out of his control, touches too soft or too rough, touches as unexpected as they are intense. They outline his silhouette in fragments, tickle his inner elbow one second and brush over his thighs the next, always wandering, always new.

A gentle beat supporting the beautiful piece of music has his heartbeat wish it could sync up with it, and Ace closes his eyes under the blindfold. Not that it makes much of a difference, it goes from black to black, yet the simple gesture alleviates some of his vulnerability – now it’s his own choice to be deprived of sight instead of someone else’s.

Instead of Bandit’s.

He’s painfully hard already despite the lack of anything… untoward so far: all the sexual undertones stem from his mind, and yet context makes it clear they’re both equally into this, interpret it the same way. Still, ever since gentle hands slid his underwear off his legs and he was left stretched out on the comfortable mattress, all that’s happened were various sensations on his skin. He can’t place them all, knows there was a feather in there somewhere with its torturous, ticklish touch, remembers something hot and something cold – no ice cubes, though just as frosty. Except for the receptors in his skin, Ace has no reliable source of information left, not with the thick headphones cancelling out all but his own breaths. And the blood roaring in his ears. And the quiet noises he tries hard to suppress.

The anticipation is what keeps him on edge and it doesn’t disappoint. He’s suffered through unexpected sensations for a time span impossible to determine, and he’s about to reap the rewards for it. His body sinks back into the pillows the moment warm fingers trail down his abs and begin teasing his erection. There’s relief but also a subtle wish for it to continue: in concentrating on nothing but what’s being done to him, he forgot the rest of his reality.

Now this, the gentle slide of a fist over his cock, it’s familiar and predictable and allows his mind to stray again. He’s suddenly hyperaware of his own gasping, deafening over the entrancing music, and snaps his mouth shut. This side he’s not so keen on – this side actively makes him uncomfortable. He doesn’t know how he looks, can’t gauge any of Bandit’s reactions, can’t hear a sound other than his own laboured breaths and fabric rustling under his head, can’t even touch him because of the cloth keeping his wrists together, keeping his hands tied above his head.

Being utterly out of control isn’t something he usually enjoys. Part of him hates this powerlessness, this uncertainty of his own fate – if Bandit were to leave him lying here, there’d be nothing to distract Ace from his own thoughts. The prospect terrifies him. He takes careful measures to ensure he’s never bored, always has enough – too much – on his schedule, and even admitting this to himself brings out a quiet horror. Like this, trapped inside his own mind, only provided with background music which evokes emotions yet leaves his thoughts empty, unable to fidget, far away from the comforts of his online life, he feels petrified.

And yet it makes the sensations all the purer. Desperate for any sort of distraction, he believes he can feel all the callouses on his partner’s fingers. He certainly can tell where Bandit is at any given time, feels his breath caress his naked torso, the dip of the mattress, his essence moving around him. Ace’s heartbeat pulses through his entire body and every upstroke lifts his hips with it, enticing it to follow the flow.

His mouth is open again, letting the quietest of moans escape, so he closes it and forces himself to relax. He doesn’t want to seem desperate (even though he is), especially when he has no idea whether Bandit likes it or not; and this is what he despises most about all this – he can’t assess what to do when he can’t adapt to Bandit’s preferences. It’s something he does automatically, he subconsciously copies accents and body language, expresses interest in the same things, repeats whatever earns him smiles.

He thrives on feedback. He requires it to live or else he’d be irretrievably lost in the whole mess that is human communication, and once this pillar is taken away from him, he has absolutely nothing to go on. He can guess, but what if he’s wrong? He’s been with Bandit before, but they’re trying this out for the first time today and are on uncharted ground, so what to do? Is it best to be as unobtrusive as possible? To go all out and let loose? He’s not even sure whether that’s an option.

Suddenly, there’s something surrounding his dick, warm and wet and heavenly, and dear God does it yank him out of his obsessive spiral. His toes curl and a fake-sounding moan echoes in his head – but it’s sincere, he just can’t help himself and this is why he’s always hated these kinds of headphones. His own voice seems like a cheap imitation of something and though he’s overcome his dislike of hearing it by posting endless videos of himself, this is still different. His thighs spread by themselves to accommodate Bandit between them and his legs try to curl around him to get a better sense of what he’s doing, but hands push them back insistently. The only place where they’re connected now is Bandit’s mouth around his cock and Ace wants so bad to run his fingers through the coarse beard, to grip winding tattoos or pull the other man up for a kiss, wants so bad to do something that isn’t nothing.

That isn’t squirming in agonising pleasure.

By now, the music has turned into something almost primal, mostly low beats and simple variations unable to hold any of Ace’s attention at all, yet contributing to the sharp lust taking over from the underlying need, a need which kept his dick hard the entire time but didn’t feel as urgent as this. Before, Ace enjoyed the journey, now his focus shifts to the destination. He chews on his quivering lip and digs his heels into the sheets, rolling his hips up against Bandit’s hot mouth, and writhes under the expert ministrations. A slick tongue is massaging more noises out of him and his eyelids flutter when Bandit starts sucking in earnest.

He’s already too good at this, so the heightened sensation quickly reduces Ace to a mindless mess: no more intrusive thoughts, all he does is stumble further and further towards the edge. Bandit tempts him closer, pushes and pulls, bobs his head as far as it will go and envelops Ace’s entire cock in velvety smoothness. Hard palms on his hips stop him from thrusting up, which is fine with him – he’s being provided constant stimulation and is getting there fast. It’s an appropriate ending to all this, he finds, the build-up intense and a good balance of pleasurable and uncomfortable, therefore he doesn’t mind finishing relatively quickly.

He’s gripping his restraints so hard his tendons must be standing out (but he can’t know, can he); the pressure on his wrists is ever-increasing but he’s so close, he’s close and can basically taste his climax on the tip of his tongue. Bandit is allowing him deep into his throat, lips tightly wrapped around the base of Ace’s dick, and he’d give everything to be able to watch him do it. Are Bandit’s eyes open, is he looking at him? Is he drooling? What kind of wet noises is he making? All he has is the tantalising slide up and down his shaft, accompanied by the harsh pull of Bandit hollowing out his cheeks and a skilled tongue.

It’s enough, it’d be enough – just the steady stream of pleasure washing through him, tensing up every single one of his muscles in anticipation, waiting for the release. Bandit knows what he needs and provides it readily, changes nothing, gives him more, and Ace is right there, just on the edge. He teeters, gazes down into the abyss, willing to tumble and fall, ready to lose his balance and…

And stays. Sways in place. Head swimming, he’s taut like a bowstring but remains frozen, and then the feeling recedes. Bandit isn’t moving at all, merely waiting for Ace to step back. There’s no need to see the smirk on his face to know it’s there.

Ace knows what’s up. Knows it’s one of Bandit’s favourite games of endless teasing, has fallen victim to it once or twice before and isn’t proud of the begging to which he resorted. It’s all in good fun and the resulting orgasm blew Ace away every time, but right now, Bandit is clearly taking advantage of his powerless state.

In return, he shall receive nothing.

The concept of time loses meaning. All which tells Ace of its passing are the brief pauses between songs, the evolving melodies and differing vocalists of which he takes note at the edge of his mind only. His focus is on the self-imposed challenge instead, on being quiet and not letting Bandit see how worked up he really is – but the intensity of every touch is making either of the two impossible. With the promise of relief lurking in the distance, his cock is overly sensitive now and responds to any and all stimulation, whether it’s Bandit blowing on it or running his fingertips along the shaft. Ace can feel it twitching at every new sensation and sweat begins to cover his body, both from his increased arousal and the strain of not moving a muscle.

Bandit relishes his position of power. Time and time again, he coaxes Ace back to the edge with sweet caresses and an obscene tongue, and then leaves him stranded, gasping, jolting. Like an invisible, inaudible, intangible being, he swoops in out of nowhere and sucks or jerks Ace just shy of the point of no return, only to disappear once more. His hands and his mouth are all that exist of him but it’s enough to leave Ace trembling.

He suspects it’s punishment for how unresponsive he is, which only strengthens his resolve to win. He clenches his teeth and hopes Bandit can’t see it, buries his fingernails in his palms and consciously listens to the elusive lyrics, relaxes his abdominal muscles and tenses everything else to try and last longer. Regardless, his desire roars and thunders in his blood whenever Bandit wants it to, and his breaths become shallow as he’s once again deprived of the peak he so desperately needs.

The only saving grace is the fact that he can’t hear Bandit’s cheeky comments. He’d be tempted to return some of his own and his voice would waver and he’d forget his sentence halfway through and then he’d let out an embarrassing noise instead, but he’d still try.

It turns out, however, Bandit hasn’t forgotten about his weakness.

The moment their lips touch, Ace groans into Bandit’s mouth. A tongue entwines with his own and he would’ve come right that second if there’d been a hand on his cock – which explains why there isn’t. Instinctively, his arms jerk to try and hold Bandit in place, nearly dislocating his shoulder, but he needn’t have worried since Bandit shows no intention to withdraw any time soon. Quite the opposite.

Kissing without ever hearing his partner is a special kind of weird yet he finds that he doesn’t mind too much when Bandit patiently licks into his mouth. Experimental fingers are brushing over Ace’s unbearably hard erection and he moans, loudly, against Bandit’s lips. Making out, especially as sloppily as this, turns Ace’s bones into melted butter and leaves him docile as a kitten, stretching into Bandit’s every touch. The other man tastes of cigarettes and coffee and kisses like he means it.

This time, when his hand wraps around Ace’s shaft, he expects it to be the last time. He’s suffered enough and can barely stand the pressure in his crotch, a pressure only intensifying with every slide of wet lips over his own. Ace allows himself to give in and generously rewards the firm strokes with strangled noises, not once interrupting their kisses. His sharpened sense notices the almost distracted quality of Bandit’s motions, how he pours most of his attention into running his tongue over Ace’s teeth, that the thumb of the other hand, the one Bandit is leaning on, absent-mindedly strokes over Ace’s ribs. He’s keenly aware of all this and more, the way Bandit’s fist tightens now and then, his body shifting closer, his laboured breaths mixing with Ace’s.

Bandit is affected as well. The thought is more reassuring than Ace would like, but he’s a people pleaser and needs to know his partner is enjoying himself too or else his own pleasure fades. It helps that Bandit told him he’s hot on their very first meeting and backed up his statement by repeatedly inviting Ace over until he eventually gave in out of curiosity. He didn’t regret it.

His pleasure climbs and climbs, and he with it, once again approaching the very top from where he hopes to topple, and then Bandit’s lips stretch into a grin.

Denied. Denied once more.

The hand disappears and instead of his desire, Ace’s frustration peaks. He struggles against the fabric restricting his movement, tries to knee Bandit in the ribs and huffs in annoyance, aiming to at least throw Bandit off the bed. The faceless, soundless entity refuses his relief and he hates it, hates that he’s incapable of doing anything about it, hates that Bandit won’t do what he wants, won’t let him come. He won’t beg, couldn’t stand hearing these words in the melodic void of the headphones he’s forced to wear, but he can’t suppress a noise of disbelief and betrayal.

There’s a noticeable pause. Once Ace has stopped thrashing and fighting, he jumps at something touching his throat. It comes out of nowhere but he knows very well what it means, so he takes a deep inhale to calm himself and nods. They agreed on this beforehand and he appreciates Bandit’s insistence on having a way to communicate despite his inability to hear him. Yes, he’s fine. He’d be a lot better if Bandit finally jerked him to completion, but he’s fine.

It’s odd to send signals without receiving any in return. His consciousness is shifting, reducing itself to simple patterns to cope with its unfamiliar narrowness: a stimulus is met with a response, there’s nothing more required of him. He doesn’t need to take the initiative for once and this knowledge uncoils something deep inside him. He exists and Bandit is taking care of him. He can sit back.

A hand settles on his thigh. Wanders further down, to the back of it, then lifts it gently. Ace complies, bends his leg and pulls it against his torso, not sure where this is going, until the palm glides down to his cheek and squeezes. It’s a question.

He nearly chokes on his own spit because holy shit if this actually happens, he’ll explode. “Yes”, he mutters and even at the low volume, it’s too loud in his ears. “Fuck. Yes.”

If only he could see Bandit’s reaction. Ace doesn’t curse – he doesn’t make crude jokes nor does he play mean pranks, he prefers clean fun since it’s easier to maintain this personality on screen if he practises it off screen, plus being family friendly is all the rage these days, so dropping an f bomb feels oddly out of character. Though he imagines it to be extremely satisfying from Bandit’s point of view.

He raises his other leg and winces internally at how eager he must seem. Only just having found peace with his limited senses, he’s now looking forward to even more sensations to enjoy. The music is lulling him into a different state of mind and, now that he’s conscious of it again, briefly lets him forget what’s going on. Like this, with Bandit doing who knows what without touching him, the whole encounter takes on a dreamlike quality which could be easy to deny later, if he wanted. He probably won’t.

And then something blunt and slippery touches his hole.

Oh.

He’s going right in, is he? Ace has mentioned before that he prefers it this way and it seems Bandit listened – this fact alone is a new rush of desire. Another touch to his throat, answered with an emphatic nod. He doesn’t trust himself not to curse again if he replied verbally.

Opening up to the smooth head is instinctual and satisfying, even more so when Ace clenches down on the hot shaft now and then only for it to stop and wait until he’s relaxed again. His toes are working while he’s being entered slowly, filled up completely, his fingers twitch and his legs wrap around Bandit’s body all by themselves. Sinking deeper into the moment, it’s deceptively easy to give himself up and melt into the incredible sensation, the headphones playing his own personal surreal soundtrack.

Shallow thrusts allow Bandit to push in balls deep and immediately roll his hips against Ace’s to milk him for what it’s worth. His cock is dripping, he feels the small droplets add up to a puddle on his belly, or at least he imagines he can feel them. He wants to come so badly that the urge to slam himself against Bandit, fuck himself on the thick erection he so generously provided becomes unbearable, though he knows he wouldn’t achieve his goal like that anyway. The soft friction of gentle movements isn’t enough yet it’s all he gets for the moment, despite his legs drawing Bandit in and attempting to convince him to go faster.

Yet another request for permission. Ace will deal with him later, for now he just wants Bandit to hurry the hell up, so he chokes out a pitiful please which sounds awfully cringy to him but at least seems to be enough for Bandit. He finally pulls out almost all the way and slams back home, causing Ace’s hands to shake both with the wish to hold on to him and the need to touch himself.

There’s a short break during which Ace debates whether he could murder Bandit by squeezing him really hard, and then he’s suddenly able to move his arms again. Bandit must’ve untied them from the bed and though they’re still bound together, Ace can lower them and fan out his fingers on Bandit’s chest at least.

His breaths are hard and he can feel some vibrations during the next deep thrusts, so it seems his lover is reciprocating his helpless moans. Sex like this sounds oddly hollow but detracts nothing from the experience itself; it’s just as satisfying to feel his whole body rock with every thrust, if not more. He’s much more aware of what’s going on between his legs, can feel every centimetre of Bandit inside of him and focuses on clamping down on him, using his muscles to enhance his partner’s experience as well as his own.

Looking for support in this onslaught of sensation, his hands seek to latch on to something, following the motions of Bandit’s lower body and getting in the way everywhere, until Bandit catches them and holds them against his chest. And even though every cell in Ace’s body is screaming at him to instead reach between his legs and bring himself off to calm this storm raging inside him, the second he feels Bandit’s heart trying to beat its way out of his body, he melts. He’s smitten. Bandit’s skin is hot to the touch and damp, he just as sweaty as Ace, his movements leaving Ace breathless, his corporeality proven with every time he invades his body.

And then Bandit presses a kiss into his palm.

Somehow, Ace gets a hold of his beard and drags him down mid-thrust, fumbling a bit until their mouths crash together once more, and he mewls into Bandit’s. For being as scruffy as he is, he can be extremely thoughtful and considerate, not to mention cute, and it just so happens that Ace loves that shit. To bits. Can’t get enough of it, to a point where it turns him on immensely if done during sex. He’s accepted the new status quo by now, used to the lack of foreign noises and getting used to hearing his own desperate noises, but still not entirely okay with how freaking good it feels to get railed by Bandit while making out with him.

Now at least, Ace can wrap his fingers around his neck to keep him where he is while straining against his hips to try and allow him even deeper. He can feel Bandit’s own moans and his pulse below his fingertips while they move together, but the position is short-lived. Strong arms wrap around him and tilt his entire world which is especially disorienting since he can’t see anything. His eyes open to blackness and there’s a brief moment of alarm before he’s found his bearings again and braced himself on Bandit’s chest. He’s on top now, straddling his lover, and understands why Bandit insisted on cordless headphones.

Like this, he’s got more control and makes use of it immediately by adjusting angle and position until he feels Bandit’s cock rub over his prostate. His ecstatic moan is echoed with a rumble under his palms. Now Ace has a chance to show off by setting a fast tempo, adding a few slower and more intense thrusts whenever he really wants to tickle his own sweet spot. He has no clue what he looks like but can’t find it in him to care, so all his attention is lavished on making Bandit climax as fast as possible.

While Ace rides him mercilessly, his hands wander further up, brushing over Bandit’s swollen lips. He feels like he’s dancing in a club now, lost in his own world, ignorant and uncaring of what the people around him think, moving to a beat without conscious thought, simply doing what feels good. His thumb forces Bandit’s mouth open and its way inside, pressing down on his tongue and wiggling when he obediently sucks on it. Ace remembers all too well what it was like to have this mouth on his cock and the mental image sends a shock of pleasure through him supported by a harsh thrust downwards. He needs to come, and soon.

They become one when he leans back down to trade spit once more, sloppily licking into Bandit’s mouth while they move together, Bandit’s hips lifting him whenever they meet his own. Their rhythm is messed up, their kisses wet and their touches uncoordinated, and Ace has never in his entire life been this fucking horny. His dick is throbbing with need, every brush against his special spot causing it to jump. He wants this. He needs this.

It’s so familiar to have Bandit jerk him off again, but this time he couldn’t deal with another denial. Don’t do it, he thinks or maybe says out loud, he can’t tell anymore. His breathing is all he hears, the music completely gone from his conscious mind, and he imagines Bandit’s breaths based on the way his chest rises and falls, tricks himself into hearing his groaning, too. Despair looms over him and forces his motions to become haphazard. He’s ready to burst.

“Don’t”, he gasps and this one is definitely real, left his mouth as an actual sound: he can tell by the way Bandit’s lips curl against his own. “Just don’t.” Bandit reaches so deep it nearly renders him boneless and his thighs are about to cramp up from the exertion, but above all, he can feel his orgasm approaching fast. If this one is wrenched away from him, he’s taking matters into his own hands, he’s coming this time whether with Bandit’s help or not.

A hard thrust forces a moan out of his throat and in his mind, he sees Bandit’s gleaming eyes looking up at him full of pride, wonder, affection. It’s easy to trick himself into it when the other man is holding on to him, returning his kisses, adjusting to his messy motions. He feels loved and appreciated even though the way Bandit is fucking him is driving him completely insane, but at least the self-doubts have no place in his head now that it’s filled with nothing but yes please and I need to come so fucking bad.

He breaks the kiss because he can’t stand the pressure anymore, focuses solely on the glorious friction between his legs, both in his hole and around his cock, and thinks: if he stops now, I’ll stab him. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t stop.

Ace curls up with a strangled moan and comes so hard his mind empties completely for the duration.

The waves of pleasure crashing over him are so intense he sees stars as he shudders violently, shaken anew by every contraction of his abs. Bandit strokes him through it, massaging out his come while Ace pants, open-mouthed, against his shoulder, shivering and helpless against the ecstasy of finally having reached his climax. Warm come splashes his own chest and he lets out more noises at every throb of Bandit’s dick buried inside him. The overwhelming relief increasing with every ripple brings with it a profound contentment which gradually takes over from the mind-numbing pleasure until all that’s left is a comfortable warmth deep inside his chest.

Completely exhausted, he sinks onto Bandit, barely registering the way he keeps holding on to Ace to thrust inside him a few more times before pulling him flush and shooting deep inside as well. Ace can tell he’s making a lot of noise so it must’ve been good, but he has no doubt his own orgasm surpasses Bandit’s by a huge margin. He’s still feeling the aftershocks and twitches whenever a strong one hits him.

They catch their breath for a minute before Bandit does what Ace himself would’ve done a minute later: remove the headphones. The sudden shift in background noise to near silence is eerie, especially since Ace is made sharply aware of being in a room instead of his own head, but it’s comforting to hear skin drag over fabric as opposed to just feeling it. The next thing to go are the restraints, but when Ace reaches up for the blindfold, Bandit interrupts his movement.

“Wait. Let me dim the lights first”, he murmurs and Ace never would’ve thought it’d be this weird to hear someone’s voice. True to his word, Bandit pushes him off to get up and fiddle with something before lying back down next to him.

Even the mood lighting hurts Ace’s eyes, so he closes them for a while, then squints, then opens them fully. With him covered in sweat, the room seems cool despite Bandit having run the heating prior to Ace’s arrival. Being able to look around again feels like surfacing after having dived for an extended period of time – Ace wasn’t ready for it to make such a difference, but then again Bandit took his sweet time with everything.

“Alright?”, he asks a half-question, and Ace inspects him a little closer. His hair’s dishevelled, his beard messy, lips glossy and a darker red than usual, upper body still flushed and covered in come. He looks delectable and just as Ace had hoped. He’d love to take a photo but knows Bandit would flip his shit if he did. He doesn’t react well to Ace taking out his phone in his presence in the first place – and somewhere along the way, Ace stopped feeling the need to. The world outside can wait. He’s got experiments to do in bed.

“Yeah”, he says non-committally only to be a dick. He teases out Bandit’s softer side whenever he can.

“… how was it?”

There it is. Ace suppresses a smirk as he tries to sincerely evaluate all that’s happened to him, all that was done to him. Next to him, Bandit fidgets during his prolonged silence, noticeably worried, and it’s frankly adorable. “Really good. Intense.” He’s not lying – if anything, he’s downplaying it. Being detached from reality felt a little like being high in retrospect, a floaty feeling. “But I don’t like it.”

Bandit nods. “Okay.”

Elaborating is impossible since Ace can’t properly convey why it doesn’t appeal to him, why it leaves him so insecure. Being at someone else’s mercy is part of it, but so is being at his own mercy – he was generous with himself today, yet he can see it going awry on bad days. Some evenings, he can’t stand seeing himself in the mirror, and the thought of someone else being able to watch him to their heart’s content when he’s feeling like that turns his stomach. His biggest issue is the lack of response, however. That he won’t know what Bandit is thinking at any given point.

“I want to do it again.”

The words tumble out his mouth like they’re accidental, but they’re very much calculated. His thirst for positive reactions can and has been detrimental in the past and he hopes repeating their performance today contributes to building up his confidence to a healthier level. And once again, he pushes the thoughts away as soon as they pop up: better not worry about them.

Bandit’s smile is blinding. “Sure. We can play around with it some more next time.”

And Ace notes not for the first time how both of them keep assuming there will a next time.

They kiss, slow and sensual, because they’re not savages and if whatever they’re doing is a substitute for actual love, they should damn well get as much out of it as they can. For the same reason, they spend a few more minutes cuddling. Ace has always been physically affectionate and can never get enough bodily contact, so he’s fortunate Bandit adapted and stopped complaining a while ago about suffocating hugs and unprompted nuzzling and kisses out of the blue.

They shower together, Ace taking some extra time to wash Bandit’s hair and beard purely because he loves the orgasmic faces the other man makes for his benefit, but he can already feel the pull while they mess around and waste water. He’s looking forward to the comments on the photo he posted earlier, and he’s waiting on a few responses from various people – he needs to check out the videos on his timeline and see whether they’re bandwagons he wants to jump on as well. There’s this drop dead gorgeous brunette who’s been chatting with him on and off for a week who usually comes online in the evenings since time zones suck.

Impatience sets in and Bandit must notice for he keeps the banter short and allows Ace to live inside his head for the moment, but when they’re hovering in front of the door, he demands his attention by asking about their next meeting. Which, fair enough.

“Saturday then. Got it.” Ace somehow manages to resist the urge to check all the notifications littering the top of his screen and puts his phone away after having entered the date and time. “By the way, I liked the music. Not at all what I would’ve expected from you.”

“Not what I normally listen to”, Bandit confirms. “Any favourites?”

“Where do I begin?”, asks Ace and the two of them grin at each other. It’s true, he really enjoyed that particular song, yet most of what managed to penetrate his lusty haze appealed to him. “Wouldn’t have pegged you as a romantic.”

“I’m really not. You just bring out the worst in me.”

Another smile. Ace doesn’t remember how Bandit caught his eye and can’t fathom what made his gaze linger, but he’s glad it happened.

“You sure you don’t wanna stay?”

“I’ve got stuff to do”, his mouth produces on autopilot and while he’s not wrong, he’s technically not right either: it’s stuff he could do from anywhere, as long as he’s got his phone. Belatedly, the question resonates with something inside him. “Nick. What is it that you want from me?”

As if he expected him to ask, Bandit shrugs his shoulders, never losing his cool. “This”, he replies easily. “Just… this.”

They’ve never agreed on anything, never defined what this is. He doesn’t want Bandit to get the wrong idea. “I’m miles out of your league.”

“Yeah”, says Bandit without any irony in his voice. “You are.”

He doesn’t say: don’t be so fucking full of yourself, I just tied you up and made you forget your own name. He doesn’t say: you’re a phoney who shouldn’t be in Rainbow. He doesn’t say: your body is your only good feature.

Instead, he just agrees.

“One word about my phone and I’m out”, Ace tells him and slips his shoes off again.

.

Later, after having adjusted the lighting and his hair, practised his sleepy expression a little and found the perfect filter, he posts a selfie with the caption Feeling loved ❤ Go hug someone important to you.

Only after he’s uploaded it, he notices the bit of Bandit’s arm visible at the very edge and shrugs it off. His followers might pay attention to the tattoos, but the few co-workers checking out his social media presence are unlikely to do so.

Right?

[jenishreads]

6 Binge-worthy Books to Shake Up Your Idle Mind 📚

Books have been an very effective agent, bringing major changes into the life of people. Whether the book is "The Communist Manifesto' by Karl Marx  or 'Harry Potter Novels' by J. K. Rowling. Each had their own impact on readers in terms of revolution, spirituality, relaxation, inspiration, reality escape or downright skill upgrading. Most of the readers down the lane start preferring only certain type of books. Eventually they miss other amazing books that can open their mind to different perspective. This led me to read books based on various subjects, and yes; sometimes it is fun to be jack of all and master of none.

Thus, If there's some curiosity burning inside you and want to read something different other then the usual genres. I have some recommendation for you.

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

Inquilab Bhagat Singh on Religion & Revolution by Irfan Habib

Islam for the Politically Incorrect: With a foreword for Donald Trump by Khaled Diab

Dark Matter by Blake Crouch

Think Like a Rocket Scientist: Simple Strategies for Giant Leaps in Work and Life by Ozan Varol

The Man Who Played with Fire: Stieg Larsson's Lost Files and the Hunt for an Assassin by Jan Stocklassa, Tara F. Chace (Translator)

The listed book are from my read list that I have found most Interesting and I hope you will find it too. I have quoted one highlight from every book. You can access my Goodread book list and its highlights at goodreads.com

1. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

Despite of this book releasing in the year 1943 and the setting of the plot according to it, I am still amazed that those societal prejudice and ways has not been changed as of yet. Author has very well created the characters keeping in in mind the competition that existed in the architectural world. But while reading it can be accepted that, the mentioned norms exist in all kind of profession in the modern world too.

To sell your soul is the easiest thing in the world. That's what everybody does every hour of his life. If I asked you to keep your soul - would you understand why that's much harder?

I have listened to this book on Audible (Narrated by Christopher Hurt) and it was notably long (32 hrs 2 mins) but its all worth it. Some people can find it boring due to its in-detail description of characters and the air surrounding it but it is the aspect that I found most important and literally joyful.

2. Inquilab Bhagat Singh on Religion & Revolution written by Irfan Habib and narrated by: LS Ravi

This book is the compilation of Bhagat Singh's Articles, notes and Letters. I chose this book, to get to know more about the freedom fighter after reading his essay 'Why I Am an Atheist". I used to consider him the person who wanted the freedom based solely on violence but this book really changed my mind and explained many things about Bhagat Singh the person.

A God-believing Hindu might be expecting to be reborn as a king, a Muslim or a Christian might dream of the luxuries to be- enjoyed in paradise and the reward he is to get for his sufferings and sacrifices. But what am I to expect? I know the moment the rope is fitted round my neck and rafters removed, from under my feet. That will be the final moment that will be the last moment. I, or to be more precise, my soul, as interpreted in the metaphysical terminology, shall all be finished there. Nothing further.

I listened it on Audible (Narrated by LS Ravi). It is an awesome book, because you journey through his notes and articles, from those literature; it is visible that how his ideas regarding the revolution evolved. His writing includes the topics related to communism, politics, religion and personal development. Any reader can enjoy this books because of the proper representation by the author and his insightful detailed comments.

3. Islam for the Politically Incorrect: With a foreword for Donald Trump by Khaled Diab

Islam, the, most talked about religion. Some people say that it's a religion of peace whereas If you see around you can only relate it to violence and terrorism in social, political and spiritual circle. Khaled Diab here explains that Islam is more than that and most of it is hidden behind the curtain that many people chose to ignore.

Devout Muslims who feel they are duty-bound to defend the honour of Muhammad through violence or intimidation should take a deep breath and recall the Quranic injunction: “For you is your religion, and for me is mine religion.”

The author is a prominent journalist and his wide knowledge reflects here. He has has beautifully explained Islam in context with all the expects like religion, political, sexual and geographical. He has shows each and every aspect of Islam very carefully without any bias. If you want to be an unbiased entity on the subject of Islam read this and recommend it to everyone. It's a completely insightful and enjoyable read.

4. Dark Matter by Blake Crouch

I had the honor of listening to this book on Audible (Narrated by Jon Lindstrom) and it is an absolute gem. This book by Blake Crouch is a must read because by default this book is classified in the genre of SF and Horror. But for me its an absolute love story, because the story has an antagonist that goes through some of the mind bending things just to get to his love.

It's terrifying when you consider that every thought we have, every choice we could possibly make, branches off into a new world.

Blake Crouch has done an amazing job on this because from story telling to characters to twist and turns, everything is just terrific. I don't want to write more about it and spoil it for you because I want you to have an experience of this must read.

5. Think Like a Rocket Scientist: Simple Strategies for Giant Leaps in Work and Life by Ozan Varol

When it comes to motivational or self development books, I usually don't prefer them. But this book by Ozan Varol has some type of an very different energy. Here the author explains various strategies that scientist uses when they face various difficult situations. The book should have been an straight manual for humans but the author has explained everything very beautifully so that the reader gets inspired by it and not just get motivated temporarily.

We’re hesitant to think big, reluctant to dance with uncertainty, and afraid of failure. These were necessary during the Paleolithic Period, keeping us safe from poisonous foods and predators. But here in the information age, they’re bugs.

The author also describes his experience as a former rocket scientist and the time when he was in an operation team for the 2003 Mars Exploration Rovers project. You don't need to have experience in science field to read this, you just need to have the curiosity. This book will be an amazing help for the readers seeking knowledge in improving themselves daily.

6. The Man Who Played with Fire: Stieg Larsson's Lost Files and the Hunt for an Assassin by Jan Stocklassa, Tara F. Chace (Translator)

Well, we all love movies where the journalist investigates a true complex crime with the involvement of various shifting nodes. But this non-fiction book is on another level where the journalist Jan Stocklassa carried out an mind-blowing investigation based on the initial research done by the famous writer Stieg Larsson (author of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) on the assassination of Olof Palme, the Swedish prime minister.

Some of the world’s biggest export contracts applied to weapons, and if anyone stood in the way of these deals or threatened to reveal secrets that could harm the bottom line, then a human life was a low price for being able to complete the highly lucrative and often shadowy deals.

Here the description of the investigation done by the author takes him to places and put him into an dangerous situation. And that  is really a thrill to watch because there are some techniques in there that can teach you to be a better communicator and most importantly when to step out. Its been an amazing read for me and if you are curios enough you will be enjoying it very much.

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role Highlights C2E36 (October 2, 2018)

Tonight’s guests are Travis Willingham and Matt Mercer!

Announcements:

The NYC show on Thursday still has tickets! 

The latest episode of Between the Sheets, featuring Laura Bailey, is now available on the Critical Role Twitch channel for subscribers! The VOD will be released on YouTube tomorrow.

The second episode of All Work No Play will air on the Twitch channel on Friday at 7 PM! There will be tapdancing involved.

@critrolestats​ for this week’s episode:

With four games in, the Dallas Cowboys are at a 50%-- wait, wrong stat.

The M9 got their 140th kill in this episode: Nott against the fourth harpy.

This is the third time Fjord has used the dodecahedron, and the second time he’s put a fragment of possibility to use.

DMing when PCs are on the ocean involves trying to figure out what interesting things can be found along the journey. Matt made a small chart to roll on to see what might possibly happen. "It’s a lot of not forcing events, necessarily, every single day, because otherwise nobody would ever fucking be on a boat in a fantasy world.” He wants it to be an adventurous, freeing sensation, and he wants it to be a bit of a sandbox for the players. (The map finally arrived!) “It’s allowing enough intrigue and possibility out there where the players can utilize the ship at their disposal, and coming up with interesting encounters that capitalize on the region and capitalize on the limitations of the ship as well.”

Travis has been on (non-sailing) boats most of his life, so he knows the terminology. “But when it comes to fuckin’ pirate ships...” He wrote Fjord’s backstory with “sailor” in it, but didn’t get a chance to research it at all. Matt was so intimidated by the (three) sailing terms Fjord included in his backstory that he’s been intently studying up on nautical stuff ever since. There are graphs behind his DM screen. Matt: “I was just trying to keep up with him!” 

But Travis has been doing research since then. He’d just never thought about the fact that he might be the only one who knew how to sail a ship. Matt: “It might not have been a major issue if you guys had booked passage...” Travis: “I should have done a moderate level of research just to be more familiar with it, so it’s causing me now to catch up to the homework that you did. We’ll see how this week goes, being that it’s in front of a live crowd...” 

Brian: “This is such a weird metaphor for you guys’ friendship.”

Matt expected Orly was going to be an information source while the group was in Nicodranas. After the M9 stole the ship so unexpectedly, it turned out Orly was the only other person they knew who had the skills they needed. Brian knows it’s a big ask, but he’d love to see amazing cosplay of Orly.

Fjord is definitely wondering whether the sword will react in some way with the water---just touching it in didn’t make a difference, but he’s wondering whether practicing his sword exercises on the ship might’ve had an effect. Travis: “Until now, it’s been a pretty one-sided avenue of communication. I don’t know if there’s any way to *69 that motherfucker.”

Gif of the Week: Caduceus’ “Hello darkness my old friend” moment.

The jellyfish bloom was a random encounter Matt rolled on his table: he has assorted natural sights on the list to add atmosphere. “It was an improvised part of the narrative based on a few rolls.” Brian wants to insure Matt’s brain.

For the map that came out last session, Travis got a quick sneak peek at it. “I love reefs, just from scuba diving, so I memorized those. Most of the trade routes didn’t go over reefs, so if we hit one of those, it would be immediately dangerous.” If people’s backgrounds tie into certain areas, Matt e-mails them summaries as needed so that the players can deliver the information and it’s not just a DM info dump.

Caduceus’ super high perception is opening up a lot of interesting stuff for the party; there were a lot of situations that flew under the radar before, and Matt’s looking forward to finding more moments like that. “You want to reward a player for their strengths.”

Matt mentions that, in all the games he’s played with Taliesin, he’s always played very high-intelligence characters. He’s fascinated to see him play a low-INT high-WIS character with Caduceus.

Travis: “I don’t typically like to give people orders? Fjord was a first mate on the ship, that’s as high as he rose. In my mind, those were people that he had worked with for years. He was receiving orders and then dispersing them, not coming up with the ideas himself. For me, as a player, I enjoyed the luxury of an idiot for the first campaign, because I got to be reactionary. It is an entirely, entirely different thing, and it’s been kind of weird, being responsible for everybody, having to make quick decisions when no one else has any input.” He found himself looking for the bench in the last couple episodes. 

On the clusterfuck at the docks, Travis: “I had gone far below zero hit points in player.” He was so off-balance and nothing seemed to be working. “You can’t always bench yourself. You gotta keep fuckin’ playing.” Matt points out that it’s common to have an off session: “The fact that you’ve finally had a couple is reassuring to the rest of us mortals in your presence.” It’s tough to be the character who has such a major impact on the course of events, and Travis has been learning how to deal with that pressure (after being able to just shrug it off as Grog) and make sure it doesn’t happen again. Travis: “I had a totally different idea of what my participation in the group would be.” He wasn’t expecting to be the face of the group.

Matt mentions that there are sessions where the group has had fun but he goes home “feeling like shit” over some series of mistakes (which often gets reinforced online), but he emphasizes that it’s totally okay to have off nights, and that it’s important to talk it out with players or other DM friends if you’re still feeling upset about it.

Fanart of the Week: Nott and Caduceus having their bonding moment at sea.

Matt: “There was a whole bunch of shit in Nicodranas you could have explored.” Travis: “I love how he gave us a fuckin’ wizard tower.” Matt pointed out that Algar had an employee who ran off during their first attack. “There’s a lot of adventure in Nicodranas still when you return.” Matt points out that sometimes the story you have prepared isn’t as exciting as what the players stumble into on their own. The ramifications when they come back could be a lot of fun, as well. 

Travis on the pressure he’s under for this arc: “The rest of the group is fuckin’ loving it, like a bunch of assholes. They are eating up my panic with spoons and forks.” Matt points out that the tables have turned after the first campaign.

Fjord’s whole backstory was based on trying to disappear; he was just glad to have a role that didn’t require a spotlight. “He just wanted to live a life and have a role and have an existence.” He feels like his unique looks and abilities fit in with the M9, but being put in charge of that, especially in the wake of the massive confidence shake that came with the Lorenzo kidnapping and Molly’s death, he’s still reeling. It’s only been a few weeks since Lorenzo. 

It’s been especially terrifying to realize this Fjord-centric arc is going to be such a big part of the New York live show. Travis: “I was so crestfallen. That was the moment I was like, ‘Fuck.’” Matt, happily: “It’s going to be fun.” Travis, strained and yelling: “IT’S GOING TO BE GREAT.”

Jester’s mom hadn’t heard the rumors of a blue tiefling dying at the docks, so fortunately that information hadn’t gotten to her before Jester sent her message. Matt breaks down the bizarre mystery the guards are dealing with right now: it could have had much, much more serious consequences. “They’re not completely fucked. There’s just some threads of fuckery out there.” Avoiding the patrol ships and being able to disguise themselves has been key. Matt points out that a lot of the Nein have had really skittish, mistrustful backgrounds; over time, they might be more likely to try to interface with the guards in a scenario like that, but they’re not there yet.

Travis on the jellyfish conversation: “I was kind of in awe of my wife at that moment. Her emotional availability is second to none. And then to take that beautiful moment and be so introspective about that character. I was trying to ask her questions, and then she pointed it dead on at me. I was like, oh god, I don’t know. I was trying to be sensitive and do something that would make her feel better, but man, it left both of us---Fjord and me---shook. I interpreted it one way. There had been gentle teasings. But man, when the emotions are real...” 

Matt’s been finding it interesting that Fjord and Caleb have been taking on leadership roles in a non-competitive, please-take-this way, and he’s excited to see how the roles are distributed moving forward. “I fuckin’ love D&D. Oh my god.”

Matt points out that the M9 is a different kind of found family than VM. “All of Vox Machina seemed pretty confident of who they were and what they wanted to be in the world. This group is very different; they’re these lost souls who, through their connections to each other, are trying to find a purpose and keep each other safe.” He likes the natural pace of that development and is happy that themes of change and redemption are so prominent in their character arcs. “As the kids on the internet say, ‘I’m here for it.’”

Travis: “I had to ask Liam this week what ‘stan’ meant. I thought they left the ‘d’ off it.”

Hats appear.

Talks Machina: Is It the Same Channel?

Brian, on the perfect burrito: “Skittles. Starburst bites. Jujubes. Wrapped in a fruit roll-up.” That is a little too close to my actual dinner tonight and I may have to reevaluate some of my life choices.

Their favorite thing about the live show is the energy. Matt: “It’s one thing to be playing together as friends, but once every now and then, being able to share it live there with so many people who are as excited as we are to be there. Of all the years I’ve done theatre and that high I’ve had on stage, this is even better for me.” Much as the heart of the show is its intimate nature, they love having the live show as a change of pace a couple of times a year. Matt points out that the weirdness of live D&D is that the audience there is as knowledgeable and invested. “It’s not like there’s a barrier and you’re here to entertain, you’re all just here in this moment.”

Travis mentions that alignment’s been more important at the start of the game when they’ve been trying to establish their character, just to keep from veering off into random stabs at action. Matt: “I think alignment’s a great guide if you’re unfamiliar with the process of realizing a personality that’s different from yours and stepping into their shoes. I prefer to think that characters’ actions drive alignment, rather than alignment driving characters’ actions. I don’t feel like you should use alignment as a way of excluding yourselves from making those choices that otherwise a character would never make.”

Matt: “Don’t google ‘burrito train’.”

It takes like ten minutes to Brian’s nipple rings.

Dani, being shipped to New York.

[wahbegan]

Golden Dawn Reading for Kristin

All right here you go, a reading for (heh) @maryreadings courtesy of Aleister Crowley and the book of Thoth. This is the Golden Dawn Reading, which is literally the biggest pain in the ass in the entire world, BUT also reveals the most helpful information. Now, lemme just start with a lil diagram of how the cards are read

As you can see from my incredible drawing, the first 15 cards drawn are read in a spiral configuration because symbol of infinity and life and blahblahblah point is. I won’t refer to them by the order in which I drew them, but instead their placement otherwise it gets fucking confusing

The middle three indicate the state of the querent (i.e. YOU), the three on the upper right are the path you’re currently on. The upper left, depending on whether they compliment or contradict the upper right, are either an extension of that path or an alternate path that you may take if certain decisions are made. The lower left gets into your head, the psychological/emotional reasons your shit the way it is, and the lower right are “karma” cards. Things which are, essentially, unavoidable. 

It’s my first time and Crowley’s Unified Theory of Everything as put forward in The Book of Thoth is insanely dense, convoluted, and frought with symbolism, i’m just going for the most basic divinatory meanings of the cards or I’ll dig deeper if I have to. Helpfully, for the minor arcana, they’re kinda spelled out. The trumps though hoo boy that’s...that’s some other shit. Anyway, point is, first time doing this for real, be gentle. This ain’t your granny’s Rider-Waite reading.

I’ll break down three at a time following the same spiral so you’ll get yeah Your shit, your possible future shit, a different or maybe the same possible future shit, the role your heart has in your shit, and finally your ABSOLUTELY DEFINITELY GOING TO HAPPEN future shit.

Let’s begin.

Cards 1-3: The 3 of Swords (Sorrow), The Queen of Disks, The 9 of Wands (Strength)

Your present state as indicated by the 3 of Swords is sorrow, melancholy, fear, abandonment, but frankly I don’t need any cards to tell me that. HOWEVER, The Queen of Disks indicates a sort of motherly, nurturing presence watching over you that can guide you. This can be internal of external, and the card may be telling you to stay grounded and to have compassion, to take care of yourself and of those around you. Your hard work is paying off. Also, the 9 of wands indicates the ability to overcome exhaustion and what you may think impossible if you can be introspective, if you can draw on your inner reserves of strength and find balance and harmony, you can achieve what your heart is set on. You’re in a state of sadness and fear, essentially, but you’re stronger than you know and need to draw on your inner strength and on your inner “motherly” in this case it just means nurturing calm down nature to take care of yourself.

Cards 4, 8, and 12: The Tower, The Three of Cups (Abundance), The Two of Disks (Change) 

Ahhh, ooh boy. Okay. The path you are currently on. So, one possible future starts out with The Tower. Destruction, ruin, turmoil, anger, grief, depression. The Tower basically signifies nothing good in Thoth. However...whatever experiences may come, you can grow from them. Out with the old, in with the new. The third card seems to imply that’s what will happen, but more on that in a second. The 3 of Cups is kinda weird, it doesn’t fit as neatly as the other two do. It represents the birth of something (good), a time of, well y’know abundance, all the captions on the minor arcana are basically one word super-simplified summaries of divination meanings, a time of joy and spreading your joy with others, it’s...unambiguously positive and it’s strange that it’s right next to The Tower. Except...Change. The Two of Disks means nothing’s set in stone, that your fortunes are in flux, that you need to keep your feet on the ground. That harmony will be found by following the currents of life. If I had to guess at all three together, I’d say that following some ruinous event, keeping your feet on the ground and accepting the change and adapting will lead to a state of happiness and abundance in this possible timeline.

Cards 5, 9, and 13: The Ace of Cups, The Hermit, The 7 of Cups (Debauch)

The Ace of Cups is a chance for your cup to be filled, emotionally speaking. It’s about opening your heart and letting love in. In this future you open yourself up, you become vulnerable, you let your love flow through you. The Hermit usually means withdrawing from people or a situation to get a better insight into it, but the main thing of it is illumination. Finding inner wisdom and realizing a truth. Then the 7 of cups...”indulging negative behaviors” feeding into things we know aren’t healthy for us. Addictions of any kind, self-destructive behavior...poisoning yourself. This future seems to be a different path than the first one, one that will happen if certain decisions are made, one you may have some level of choice over. Whereas your first path started with grief, anger, and ruin but led to change and abundance, this started with love and ended with indulging negative emotions, self-destruction. The Hermit seems to represent the turning point at which you realize what you’ve poured into your cup is poison.

Your paths therefore, are...what? A traumatic conflict that comes to make you grow as a person or a love you come to realize is poison? That seems to be it...seems to be.

Cards 6, 10, and 14: The Princess of Disks, The 3 of Disks (Works), The Moon

Now, onto your mind. The Princess of Disks is someone in touch with nature ha again didn’t need your cards Aleister buddy but thanks for the confirmation, someone peaceful by nature and therefore who deals poorly with conflict. Someone benevolent and empathetic in touch with what’s truly important to them, following and protecting that no matter what. Devoted, protective, nature-bound, conflict-averse, empathetic. You know what matters to you and what matters to you MATTERS to you. Works means, well, working hard and dedicated, and should be...in this position, since it’s not about the future per se, I think it speaks more to your belief that your work should be rewarded. That you work hard at what fulfills you, and you want to reap the rewards of your works. The Moon is a REALLY fun one to get in this position though because the Moon basically means you’re a lunatic. No, no, that’s wrong, but it does indicate deception, in this position I’d assume self-deception, traumatic memories, repressed problems from childhood, and deep problems with your shadow self. You are empathetic, protective, peaceful, and in touch with what matters to you. You work hard and want to be rewarded. But your shadow and your past lie unaddressed, and you deceive yourself.

Cards 7, 11, and 15: The Prince of Cups, The Emperor, and the 9 of Cups (Happiness)

These I feel are the only category that should all be interpreted one at a time, as they represent three distinct forces that are beyond your control, unlike the previous two future sets. Now, the Prince of Cups is creative, passionate, driven, and has a lot to give, but is not an integrated whole of a person and can be reckless and secretive...the court cards seem more used to describe people than the future, but for divinatory purposes, the Prince of Cups here seems to mean...here, from the Book of Thoth: such people good will, sincerity, and right mating are the essentials of success; their danger is overweening ambition.

That was the main thing I could find in terms of forces beyond your control...beware the power of your own passion and ambition. The volatile power of your drive for what you seek will always affect you.

The Emperor, however, is all about responsibility. Self-sacrifice, discipline, surrender to a greater cause. Both of these cards speak much more about the character of a person than the outside world, and you got both for forces beyond your control you need to adapt to. Very interesting. Although...although, The Emperor here could mean a drive in you to be self-sacrificing and/or a leader and/or responsible will always affect your fate...OR it could mean that the need for you to step into such characteristics will affect your fate. I think it may be that second one.

Now this, this is a lovely note to end on. The Nine of Cups is one of the most unambiguously positive cards in the Deck of Thoth. Fulfillment. Getting what you want. It was the very last card in the spiral, the end of your journey, so to speak, but...it did show up eventually. I believe you’ll always find happiness. Apparently, so do the Graeco-Roman and Egyptian Gods

[sweatypolarbear]

EVERYBODY’S GONE TO THE RAPTURE REVIEW

Decided to sit down and write a lengthy review of one of my favourite games, read on if you’re interested.

-Robin

Hi there, thought it was time that I sat down and finally had a proper review of one of my favourite games.

EVERYBODY’S GONE TO THE RAPTURE.

 Everybody’s gone to the rapture is a fairly recent game which is made with the assistance of Cry-engine 3.

I’m going to break this review down into a few key parts and feel free to adjust your read based on the features that interest you.

Like I said, it’s one of my favourite games so expect a lot of fanboying and a general bias. I am sure to say that it’s “the best” at something. Stave off your own opinion as I use “The best” so often to describe so many things. I like the use of superlatives to emphasis my general appreciation for something, so keep this in mind when reading.

I will do my best to avoid spoilers, except in the last bullet point where I will indulge the more intrigued of you.

 Story telling mechanic:

Everybody’s gone to the rapture has a very unique story experience, I can liken the telling of it to “Gone Home” or “Journey” In the sense that most of the story is down to your movement and interaction with the environment. Most of the story is in the details of the world.

I should clarify for those of you that aren’t aware with this kind of storytelling structure. Whilst the game is inherently linear in the pattern you move throughout the game in the4 sense that it is a single straight path/road that you follow to the end destination which intern acts as the progression of the story. The clear majority of the game is down to the movement you take around an area.

Taking the first area as a prime example, it’s a small English village, as you walk around you’ll get occasional snippets of dialogue and the very brief and vague narrative that is given to you in the form of Jeremy our first character; Jeremy is a Priest who we are gradually told about. If you’re careful and follow our little glowing sprite he will lead you through several spots and you’ll understand pretty quickly that Jeremy is somewhat looked down upon by most members of the community, for something he was involved in.

The premise of this games story telling is generally that the more you explore and the more time you take to intimately explore an area the more events you will trigger and a better grasp of the characters you will have. Which I suppose gives it a big incentive to be as completionism as possible when approaching the game. Take the time to go over an area once or twice and ensure that you took note of all the little areas and sounds.

This method of storytelling is honestly one of my preferences when it comes to games nowadays, I feel like so many games have taken advantage of this method to tell compelling stories with an environment as much as the script. I think games like this are often the forefront of the story department as they are almost totally reliant on the tendency of their stories to entice your intrigue. In this instance the way that the Town is empty, and you never actually see another living creature really adds to this effect. The sheer lifelessness of the environment means that the few sounds and voices you get to hear are so welcome and you get more and more eager to reach the next section of interaction.

In a lot of games of this nature this is where it can drop off. If the interactions are too far in-between or they don’t reward you enough for finding one, then there isn’t that drive to find the next one. However, this is totally against the prerogative in terms of Everybody’s gone to the rapture. Trust me when I say that every little piece of dialogue is valuable, and every piece provides a nice little touch of humanity to these characters. And it’s through this gradually assembled jigsaw of character moments that you can clearly get a scale of their roles in the story. It’s so rewarding to learn that each character knows the other ones and has their own secretive opinion or viewpoint on them. It’s world building in such a nice and fun way.

My last point on the topic of story comes straight from the nature of the way that the game is delivered to you. So much of it is down to the players own interpretation and how much they were paying attention and how much was retained. As someone who did a marathon of this game over the course of 3 days I can tell you that most of my enjoyment came from learning things that backed up my theories about what happened and every single radio message from Kate. There’s a lot to digest and retain and naturally you will forget stuff, people, and locations. Things come back though, and characters return and it’s so fun to create your own web of knowledge you have learnt and fit that into the realm of information you already have. Me and My partner played this game keeping track of who was who and how they fit into the grand scheme of the story.

The story is a very strong cornerstone that holds the game up. I think that the way games like these tell a story through the environment and the gradual exposure to dialogue branches is one of the most engrossing and complex ways to tell a story. This game stands out though above games like “Gone Home” for going above a single narrator and a single story, it has all these branches from characters that feed back into the main trunk of your story.

Sound, Music, and Sound-scaping.

If you have ever met me, you probably are aware of how obsessed I am with the audio input that games offer people. Soundtracks and Sound-scaping is the most imperative feature of a game. For those of you who are unaware of sound-scaping;

Sound-scaping is a technique for mapping out an area and having different sounds come from different areas and having the idea that a sound is emanating from a direction. This is noticeable if you wear headphones when playing most games. You will appreciate that one sound is louder in one ear than another and you will know which direction the sound is in. Specifically, in Everybody’s gone to the rapture this takes the form of having a faint series of numbers being spoken by a woman on the radio or a telephone ringing in the distance. It’s a good way to adjust yourself directionally and using this a much better way to direct yourself than following a ball of light around.

The other aspect of Sound-scaping though which is very present in Everybody’s gone to the rapture though is the aspect of the music kicking in when approaching or going into a new area. The music ramps up as you enter a new area and it paces itself to the speed you move forwards. It’s so rewarding and really sets the scene as a glorious orchestral chorus starts up in full majesty as the sun rises and the world lights up for the first time. As you start one particular scene the Music noticeably turns a little sinister and ups the temp which is so sudden and out of nowhere I found myself clenching up and leaning forward I was so prepared and anxious for what would come next.

In a game that prides itself on the inherent beauty of silence, how empty and vacant the town is without it’s people. How scary it is to nice the lack of birdsong in a forest. Where the only sounds you hear are the trickle of water from the stream or the sounds of the tree’s in the wind it’s hard not to take explicit notice of the soundtrack and the musical score present in the game. It’s a very unique and heavenly sound. Which is very innkeeping to this idea of the Rapture as it was. The beautiful male choir singing is dramatic and is great for these moments where the world is laid out for you and you get to see the great swathes of the valley in one go.

The soundtrack most notably though is relevant. Songs aren’t out of place and they are really used to set a stage for the area you are in. They give a general air of relaxation and calm to the empty countryside, which is both unsettling and expected. I can’t help but think that the music is meant to be ironic in some sense but I am getting into spoilers.

 Visuals and Ambient Lighting;

I think if you’ve seen even the first second of the game it’s easy to tell that there is a major visual aspect to this game. I think this game is the absolute pinnacle realistic visuals I’ve seen in a game.

Hats off to Cry-engine as they are always at the top of their game when it comes to creating scenery for games. Games like Crysis have some amazing backgrounds, but I don’t think they ever really got a “Real” looking game until this. Everybody’s gone to the rapture is so grounded in one place that it feels vivid and real. I would even hesitate and say better than life. I’m going to give them one more tip of the hat in the sense that they took the time to animate things like the water and the tree’s so well. I’ve lived in England for quite some time and I’ve been into the countryside and walked around aimlessly as you do in Everybody’s gone to the rapture and I feel like it’s a perfect simulator (You just save yourself from being cold and bored.)

Going back to the actual visuals themselves, I think they are the main keystone in the game. As much as I love the plot, characters, and the sense of impeding dread. The visuals are just too good.

The game can easily be dismissed in a lot of ways. For a lot of people, they just can’t get over games like this because often they aren’t very fun to look at. Everybody’s gone to the rapture is so above that stereotype, because it’s a pleasure to look at. I am going to compare it to a quote people use to describe a lot of Stanly Kubrick’s work, “Every Frame a Painting.” And it couldn’t be truer in this instance. I really could only pick up the moments when I stared at the floor in the pitch black and saw exclusively black as times when I wasn’t enjoying a picturesque scene. The Colours and Textures are out of this world. The sheer scale and vividness when it comes down to the scenery is hard to explain.

Walking through the countryside and seeing each tree being given it’s one colour palette and having its shadows wave gently across my path as I walk forwards is something I never noticed in other games as much as I did in this game. I think this has to do with the deliberate use of narrations and story moments changing the time of day in the game, causing the sun to revolve around the sky and you basically watch the shadows and lights flicker across the sky as the whole world around changes colours. I pick up on shadows a lot in this instance, because really, they are the best. There’s such a definite shape and weight to them, when I move into one and look up I see the exact outline of them in the shape of the leaves and the sun shining through them. When the sun moves in the sky the shadows will elongate or shorten based on the positioning of the sun. It’s such a silly little thing to obsess over but it really got to me the level of attention that went into the exact nature of these.

The Light is also the bad guy in a way, as you’ll get a grasp of almost immediately in the game. A ball of light will float through the world and each narrative clip is represented by the silhouette of a person in golden flickers of light. It’s a nice visual effect that I can appreciate. It’s a nice twist on the shades of people or tape recorders (not that there aren’t any of those.) Specifically, it’s the way this light stands out so alien in the bright daylight of the game. It doesn’t matter how bright and sunny the game get’s that ball of light is a stain on it. It’s refreshingly sinister in the empty landscape, and I initially found it playful and fun to follow and see floating, but as you play you grow to appreciate (or you don’t) just how unnerving this insistent little orb is. I call him Lionel.

 Lionel and the Magic Right Trigger.

It’s not a terrible sounding porn movie, it’s a small section where I give some advice regarding two things.

Lionel is what I call the floating sphere of light who “guides” you through the world. I say that in quotes, because in my experience he only leads you to the audio dialogue which is specifically plot relevant and not necessarily the valuable character moments I love. He’s a constant little companion, who fucks off into the sunset at 100mph and leaves you behind the wonder how your meant to follow him. He can be annoying at the best of times, but he has a heart of gold. Well basically an everything of gold.

Lionel is alright, I just advise ignoring him completely unless you are absolutely stuck and don’t know where to go. I specially recommend exhausting all other possibilities before following him. Almost always he will lead you to the next section of the game, so the game will go into next chapter mode and you are almost forced to go to the next section or you’ll miss out on the ambient music and music scaping that occurs when entering a new area. Name him too. I named him Lionel cos he looks like a Lionel, but naming him and yelling his name whenever he pops up adds to your experience tremendously.

As for the proverbial “Magic Right Trigger” there is a feature to the game that is totally alien if you didn’t go on the internet before playing the game and it’s a game saving mechanic for most people.

PRESS AND HOLD DOWN THE TRIGGER AS YOU WALK TO MOVE FASTER.

I really stress this to people whose main point of contention is the movement in the game. I don’t use the sprint function in games, so this works out fine for me. However, in this game it is clear from the start that you walk at a normal pace and if you aren’t aware of this feature it gets frustrating for the more eager of you out there. Even I do this at times where I am getting a little excited for the next scene and I will make use of this feature. It’s well hidden though as you must hold it for about 2 seconds before it will even kick in and it says nothing about it anywhere in the game. It’s just a feature for the more explorative of you.

Spoilers -

Science

The presence of deeply thought out science and these two-competent people talking about this extra-terrestrial entity is an enlightening experience. The way that the issue comes about and the gradual escalation into the ranges of danger are so well done and it really gets across the suddenness of this calamity. They are each dealing with it in their own way and they are both scared of what is happening to themselves and this entity. We are given information gradually and it’s fed to us in Kate’s dialogue as to what the Rapture was and how it isn’t intentional. The way they lose control of it and how much it scares both of them is so intoxicating and it really pushed me forward. I was so keen to know more about how it all came to pass, and it was gift wrapped to me in the wonder of Kates chapter.  Not going to speculate or infer my own viewpoint as I feel it detracts from the experience if I tell you my viewpoint on the end of the game.

Kate and Stephan

Kate and Stephen Appleton are the stars of the game and I can’t emphasise enough how much I love these two in this game. Kate and Stephen are these two characters which get referenced more and more frequently as we get closer and closer to the end of the game. We are almost immediately aware that Stephen is involved in the decision to bomb the town and destroy it, but as you can plainly tell the town is unscathed. Kate and Stephen are directly the cause of the Rapture as we see later in the game and the game is so rewarding of second playthroughs as you are made aware of the intimate relationship and feelings these two had and how they’re relationship fell apart and caused the emotional trauma that caused the Rapture. My theory on the ending are my own and I don’t want to influence anyone’s own theory, so I am not going to talk about the ending. This might disappoint some of you who want to discuss the ending and definitively have an ending and reasoning for their actions in your head. What’s the point? Games that leave you thinking are so much better than ones which answer all your questions. So, I’ll happily be confused for years to come.

Kate though~

Kate’s voice actress, Merle Dandridge. Is above and beyond the call of duty. She is wonderful, and her voice is so distinct and memorable, which makes it so perfect for the character. The highlight of the game for me is her chapter at the end. The long drawn out moments where we explore her character and let her speak for minutes at a time, whereas before where a mere piece of dialogue was enough for us is so rewarding and such a satisfying ending. Kate’s character in general is the glue that holds the story together I think that the story couldn’t have achieved a lasting effect if you didn’t have the witty and playful commentary and Horror of the unknown that Kate carries with her. She is the best. Just the best.

Stephen is great as well, less so than Kate though. Who would cheat on Kate!? Seriously?

Like Kate is a nerdy awkward scientist, who rambles about science. Talks to people in your hometown and gets to know people. She’s got a lovely voice and can talk to you about science stuff and you won’t get bored!

That’s my fanboying over with time to score our game~

Final Review

Gameplay: 48/100

Despite my love for the game and the intimate nature of which I spend time on the game. As well as my 3 playthroughs of it. Despite the 3000 so words I put into the game I must admit that this is a walking simulator and I appreciate that. It’s not terribly exciting to play, it’s not tense or dangerous. It’s not even scary. It’s walking and getting story dealt out to you over the course of time. There’s also no map which lets you know where the points of interest are, and no reward for replays which make the experience easier. I yield that my major enjoyment is searching the beautiful open world, but I am losing out on the story I enjoy if I can’t find all the audio logs. This makes it frustrating as I feel constantly no matter how much time I take that I am missing stuff. That feeling is irritating at points. The hiding of the speed up function is irritating as well. I feel like the option needed to be there from the start to allow people to play the game. IT would’ve made it more accessible for people who weren’t used to this style of playing games.

Story/Narrative: 83/100

It’s high there’s no doubt, it’s a wonderfully crafted and excellently paced journey which you get the pleasure of experiencing. It’s going to be a story which you really get into and want to solve. Each piece of the story you collect is going to improve the regards you have for it. It’s not perfect as it is delivered to you in a way that is entirely reliant on the attention given to it by the player. So, this means that the experience is too varied dependant on the amount of playtime in one go. There’s so many character beats and moments that get lost if you play it in short instalments. The story is so vast and complex at times, it’s relatable and humble. You really feel for these characters and their all very sweet. There’s so much to see and feel with this story. Kate and Stephen contribute so much to the story and there is this deepest romance which is heart-breaking to hear about.

Characters: 77/100

There’s an inherent need to relate to characters in any game and this is one where I could see myself in Stephens shoes. I could relate to these characters well and appreciated the level that each one was developed. With 5 sections and the deep exploration into each of these gives you the chance to get to know each of the cast in a great deal and experience a level of their sadness to the events of the story. Moments where each person accept their fate are heart breaking after you connected to them so much.

Visuals and Soundtrack: 78/100

I would give it higher, but when it comes to games My highest tiers are reserved for very artistically styled games. Despite this the game goes to great lengths to be extensively realistic and gorgeous and its portrayal of this valley. The use of light and shadow are second to none and it really gets a scenery that is worth the story. The soundtrack compliments this wonderfully and serves to enhance the environment created. The Soundtrack paired with the visuals really deliver a high-quality experience. These and the Story really make up for the lacklustre gameplay and make the game worth playing.

Robins (That’s me) Enjoyment: 67/100

I love it, but the mechanic of walking everywhere gets tiring and can hurt your hands if you are just holding the stick forwards all the time. The story is unique and thought provoking. It really grips me, and It fits wonderfully into a category of games which I am finding to be increasingly my favourite. Its visuals are amazing to look at and I take screenshots constantly as I am playing, I keep finding imagery that really looks the best. It’s an achievement in gaming that’s for sure. This game is artistic and visually stunning, but it’s life-like qualities lose me a little. I am more appreciative of the pitch-black scenes illuminated by the alien light, specifically when the observatories are bathed in the alien light. The soundtrack is on my playlist for easy listening and it’s great to listen to in the background. It sets a scene and acts as a good framing device for a scenes tension, but it ends too frequently and sometimes I feel like it could do more from being quieter and revelling in the silence of the valley.

Alternate Direction – Robins Ideas~

It’s a funny idea, but I feel like Everybody’s gone to the rapture had the potential to be a truly terrifying horror game. Set in the broad daylight and the light is the bad guy. There didn’t need to be any enemies nor any stealth sequences. There just needs to be a more visceral score and a darker approach to people dying. There’s so much suspense that goes to waste on the fact that the music is bright and uplifting where if the score focused on getting a more hopeless feel across it could express a much more different view on the whole ordeal, whilst still having these character moments in the foreground. This is just my desire for more intelligent horror though.

That’s all for today, thank you and let me know what you thought~

[agnostica-fiesta-blog]

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[sleepymarmot]

MEA liveblog #8

I finished it! I’m free!

Multiplayer

Hell yeah level 9/10 rank I asari adept -- full extraction and top score on a silver APEX mission with bonus to combos! Against outlaws, but still. And I got an outlaw badge for it!

Yoo, two human female vanguard cards! And my Charger is now at X!

Looked up my statistics:

Dialogue:

Interrupts: 11

Casual: 151

Emotional: 187

Logical: 206

Professional: 187

Kills:

Kett: 983

Outlaws: 857

Remnant: 520

Wildlife: 377

Holy shit, the Pathfinder killed almost as many former Initiative members as the Initiative's enemies...

Melee: 276

Assault rifle: 60

Pistol: 135

Shotgun: 100

Sniper rifle: 59

Biotic: 679

Combat? Force?: 0

Tech: 316

Jump: 5

Construct: 35 (wow)

Combos: 777

Hello patch 1.05

Why did they remove the priming icon from Throw? Does it not prime anymore?! 

Good news: Throw still primes. Idk why they removed the button. Like misinforming their players?

Bad news: the game is super laggy. Did I set my graphics too high?

The fusion mod perk is still broken!

No, I don't have a new email, SAM! I got one from Peebee, very cute but referring to I don't know what.

Multiplayer

Kroguard level 7/rank I successfully extracted from Silver!

Maxed out Avenger and Katana, goodbyeeeee

Singleplayer

Fuck, I opened all my reward boxes and then realized the game loaded the autosave with the still-bugged fusion mod support :( Goodbye all my rewards ughh

I lowered the graphics to default but the game still keeps stuttering... I don't understand

Peebee on Voeld: "I should have dressed warmer" Sigh, once again game writers blame their sexist costume designs on female characters who have to wear them...

Finally I got to hear PB&J's conversations about asari reproduction myself...

SAM asked me about my romance and I picked the sappy option because it was the safest...

Journey to Meridian

I don't like how the patch changed my Ryder's face. The lips are too narrow and round now.

Damn, I should have taken Jaal. I knew the spoiler though. Want to know what from? A freaking side romance video I clicked because I was sure something so inconsequential wouldn't have spoilers. Ha!

Peebee says something like "They created life but the Archon wants to destroy it!!" in the most melodramatic tone. Ugh! The tendency to say overly sweet things like this is the worst part of her character.

Ha, screw you ascendant! I'm a bit offended that my rifle doesn't one-shot his orb. Ah well, I'm not wearing any weapon damage bonuses...

Oh, a Destroyer and a Fiend are fighting each other? Good, I'm not going to get involved.

The Destroyer won and came for us but had the decency to open up its chest as it turned to face us lol

I'm overusing Bio-converter + Life Support like hell on this mission lol... Too many bosses

lol nullifiers im not scared of you

Why is my mouth so small! It's bothering me.

Tempest

Lexi doesn't want to talk to me lol. Can't interact with her

Jaal's door is closed, I knew he'd have a lot to say

Well this conversation was saccharine. Jaal are you a positivity machine?!

Don't you "love" how you can go through the entire game not knowing that Gil is gay?! There's even a dialogue option about him "loving" Jill! This entire dialogue tree is a mess. At least everyone on tumblr has ranted about that so I don't have a lot to add. But even if you (try to) set the homophobia aside it's a mess. He talks about fathering a friend's child and you can't even be surprised because usually only romantic couples start families? And you can't even disapprove really, the most negative thing is "it's crazy" said in an awed, surprised tone of voice.

Cora I took you to Meridian and you have nothing to say?

More forum threads! And a shitload of emails!

Aw, Liam is such a good vivid character -- both the conversation and the email are great. I love his email attachments. I mean I'm still angry at him about the stupid, irresponsible, dangerous shit he did in his personal storyline, but he's definitely the most engaging of the male starter companions in ME.

Here's the Movie Night continuation, I was starting to worry it was broken...

The ship's doctor asks me to buy some booze on the Citad--the Nexus, why does it sound so familiar

Let's appreciate the fact that the "golden worlds" are not just inhabited -- they were created for someone other than us! The Initiative has even fewer rights to them than initially thought.

I'm glad Bioware sped up the galaxy map (not surprising after that kind of outrage) but the stupid and vertigo-inducing camera turns and pans are still there.

Btw I preferred my own more abstract interpretation of the Scourge as the Chaos to the Remnant's Order. Now they look even more mundane. As if the mystery and awe didn't already evaporate after about the second vault because they're all the same thing with slightly different puzzles!

Nexus

What?! I don't get to actually play with Drack, Kesh and Vorn?! What's the point then?

Keri where are you? I can hear your voice but it's coming from nowhere.

Oh my god I can see Kandros's purple tongue through the hole between his jaws(?)

Tempest

Well at least I could get Gil a date!

Am I like... supposed to give a shit about Jaal? I mean Ryder is getting all emotional no matter what I choose and I'm sitting here like "idc". And I don't want to bash such a nice person, it feels mean to dislike someone for doing nothing wrong, but that's the problem, he's so bland. From the promotional videos I assumed that Peebee would be the irritating designated best friend/love interest like Liara, but it's mostly Jaal.

Tempest again -- after a week-long break

Why couldn't Bioware add a "take all rewards" button? Why do I have to spend 10 minutes clicking “space”?

Ah yes, Bioware's trademark mashing naked dolls together! When Peebee's eyes flashed black it was pretty creepy.

Movie Night requires one more step... After the main mission, then.

Great, another galaxy map fetch quest -_-

Yoo finally the point of no return!

The final mission

Fine, I'll take you Jaal for plot relevance, though I'll probably miss Cora's Shield Boost...

Playing as my twin is cool, but why is he underpowered? Trying to kill a single mook with no powers and that tiny pistol was torture...

Where's Peebee? On the bridge?

Why open the equipment screen but not let me change the squad? It made sense to take the Science Team PB&J to the Meridian, but not to take back an ark! It makes no sense! I'm on my ship with everyone, but can't choose a new team?

Ah, so it was a romantic goodbye with the LI, and I didn't have to choose the "schmaltzy" version to make it more personal? Damn.

Ughh, so much lag... It's not fun to fight when fps falls below 10 sometimes.

The final fight is so badly designed. Apparently I have to hold ground at the quest marker position, but it's not explained clearly, and the circle doesn't appear until you're almost done. I jumped into the abyss several times because the quest marker was hanging over it.

Ah yes, Meridian, home for the humanity. Despite the fact it was clearly built for the Angara... Ugh!!

I don't get it. We're selecting a representative of whom? The entire cluster? The Nexus? It's bullshit.

Oh, this wheel is confusing. So each candidate is assigned to a "tone", when I first click it it's a question, if I click for the second time it confirms the selection. 

Hmm, my first choice was the Moshae, but maybe Morda?

Went with the Moshae. Thankfully, Ryder said exactly what I wanted to say! Haha, Addison: "That's the point, you colonial wad"

This human woman got a name from Quarian godparents?? That's a thing? Okay.

I don't understand how Ryder could use the Remnant without SAM. Has SAM changed her brain enough that it's now superhuman even without SAM's active involvement?

Oooh, interesting email. I haven't thought of angaran reincarnation as a designed feature to carry extra information in DNA. So they can be genetic hard drives -- again, like the kett? This has got to mean something. And angara "remembering" how to use the Meridian, or being sleeper agents? I demand a big storyline in the sequel about this!

Um. Using the Remnant involves not just a connection, but moving your consciousness into them? Okaaaay. That doesn't sound ominous at all. This entire terminal is like a sequel teaser...

Yeah Jaal, I can't stop joking because everyone is being so sugary sweet and I can't bear it anymore

The Moshae doesn't sound too excited about her new job... :(

The Quarian-Volus-Elcor-Hanar arc! Yoo! Sequel or DLC?

"Seeing you in cahoots makes me all misty" I don't know which is worse, the line itself or the delivery...

Aw, the science team are all in the same lab! ...With the dancers. What?

Tempest

Peebee sent an email saying she wants to explore the galaxy "with or without me". Aw.

Okay, I'm tired, let's leave The World is Waiting and Movie Night for tomorrow.

Watched alternate dialogue choices on Youtube.

I chose the casual option to rally the fleet, but logical is good too. But I think that after watching her brother being kidnapped and tortured, Ryder doesn't have the patience to be inspirational...

The emotional option as you walk out victorious is addressed to your LI! And Peebee's reply made me laugh and clap: "And now they all know you're mine!" And they walk away hand in hand. Aw.

Can’t find logical and professional options for the goodbye with Peebee before the final mission :( Not a fan of emotional and casual.

Oh. I thought Habitat-7 would have something more than one cutscene...

My edition of the Movie Night glitch: Ryder was simply invisible. Peebee was embracing thin air. So much for romance.

The funniest thing, tbh, was that Ryder leveled up when the scene ended.

Aaaaand now I'm free! 92%, 97,5 hours. I still have some sidequests to do, but let's leave them until later.