#couldnt decide whether i like it better with or without color

[crystallizsch]

jamil jamil let down ur hair

[katsukikitten]

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

A/N I had so much fucking fun writing this and I hope you all enjoy it too!

Sleep seemed to be avoiding the ash blonde as he scrolled through his phone for a Christmas gift.

But nothing was screaming Bakugou Mitsuki.

He wanted it to be perfect.

Although his mom DID piss him off majority of the time she still pissed him off.

More scrolling just to come up empty handed had the ash blonde seeing red. He locked his phone, hoping that sleeping on it would help him decide.

But instead he rolls around restlessly before the sound of agitated pops fill his silent room.

He reaches for his phone until something catches his attention. He strains to hear, perking his ears to best get a note of the familiar melody that is softly playing. He stands in his bed, noticing that the sound is coming from the vent.

*"A pair of hop-a-long boots and a pistol that shoots Is the wish of Barney and Ben Dolls that'll talk and will go for a walk Is the hope of Janice and Jen And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again"*

"Is that fucking Christmas music?" Bakugou asks aloud as he gazes at the time.

12:05AM

He shoves a pair of shorts on before forcing himself into a shirt descending the steps two at a time.

He creaks open the door to the stair well slowly, guiding it shut so it won't slam.

He finds the music coming from the common room and what he spies sends a spiral of emotions twisting in his gut, he leans against the jamb as he watches, arms crossed.

There you were, climbing a ladder, singing the lyrics softly as you worked in shorts that were much too short.

And a tank top that said "Meowey Christmas!" that hung from your form.

Scarlet eyes rove over your figure, your shirt lifts up exposing your toned back as you struggle to reach the ceiling to hang a small green plant.

It is that much out of reach that you almost tip the ladder.

Somehow by the grace of Kamisama you attach the foliage to the ceiling successfully.

You look up at it with triumph, hands on wide hips as you admire your work, although there was still so much to be done.

"What are you doing?" A gruff voice pulls you from the wonder of the large living room that is now garnished in garland and glitter. You startle losing your footing, the ladder topples before you do, hitting the floor with a loud crash before bouncing a bit from the force.

At this rate you're sure to bust your tail bone at the very least considering you're falling from at a minimum of six feet.

You expect the worst with your clumsy self, wondering how you'll ever be a hero if you cannot even land on your feet.

Luck for you, you fall into strong arms, while a growl reverberates in the chiseled chest you're pressed agaisnt.

"Be fucking careful!" His eyes shine with rage and annoyance. You shrink away from him as best you can while trapped in those muscular arms.

"Why are you doing this by your fucking self? And at midnight?!"

"I...I just woke up and couldnt sleep. And Christmas is next week..." You say sheepishly, eyes looking everywhere but him as he makes no move to put you on your feet. And you cannot bare to admit that a dream drove you down those steps and into the basement of the dorm.

Something green catches your eye and a devilish smile begins to form on your lips as an idea formulates in your head. The mistletoe that you had just successfully hung stares down at you expectedly. Demanding to be obeyed and for once you are torn.

Should you obey a times old tradition or should you avoid angering someone who barely tolerates you? The green leaves adorned with white and red berries seem to wink in the glow of the white Christmas lights, urging you to make the write choice.

"Your shitty music is too God damn loud. And you're out here doing this in the dead of night for fucking what?!" He rants endlessly as your heart pounds in your chest while you make a decision that you hope you won't regret.

You press your feather soft lips to his smooth cheek and he is silenced instantly.

Completely still as if a frozen by Todoriki's ice, he stares down at you in your shirt that slips of your bare shoulders confirming what he already knows.

You are braless, in shorts that barely cover that muscular ass and now you've pressed your lips to his cheek?!

What the fuck?! Is what the hot head wants to yell and as if you read his mind you answer. He watches a slender finget point up and he follows. He spies some damn piece of bush tapped to the ceiling.

"Mistletoe. Dems the rules!" You laugh and he stares at you as if you're fucking crazy.

Shame paints your cheeks, your cute idea down the drain despite not being brave enough to actually kiss him.

Suddenly his cheeks burn up into the tips of his ears before he sets you down on your feet roughly.

"So a fucking dried up plant makes the rules?!" You watch his jaw work as he grinds his teeth, flushed to all hell.

"Ah yes..." You say softly and he just stares at you before letting go the breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"Just stay off the ladder." He turns on his heel before you grab onto his shirt without thought.

You cannot bare the idea of decorating another year alone. He stills before looking over his shoulder, eyes turned into frozen hot embers.

"I...I." Your normally boisterous voice dies in your throat. Scarlet drinks in your features, your eyes rimmed with unspoken tears. Katsuki's heart sinks as if it were wearing concrete shoes

He sucks his teeth before turning, shoving you back towards the decorations, this time careful to avoid that damned plant. Deft eyes spy more than on sprig lurking above unknowing victims.

"What do you want me to do?" He growls, crimson watches your lovely features slowly light up as you realize what he has said. You begin to jump on the balls of your feet as you pull him to dusty boxes. You place a Santa hat on his head and he stares at you with glowing embers. He pulls at the stupid fucking hat and throws it over his shoulder holding eye contact. You figure you shouldn't push your luck too much as you pull another box in front of him.

"We need 21 stockings make sure everyone knows which one is theirs!" Bakugou instantly regrets agreeing to this little charade, he is about to tell you never mind but his eyes catch you smiling again. Humming along to the next Christmas song as you wrap the pillars with glittering snow dusted garland.

It's that same smile that allows you to order him around for the better half of the night before you pull him to the project you were working on.

The most important project of the night!

The tree.

A tree it seems you pulled from the Earth yourself, spending majority of the night trimming the branches to be sure it looked perfect. The thick trunk was secured tightly by a black stand, hidden beneath a fuax white fur skirt. Lights twisted around the tree all the way to its 7 foot top.

"Help with the oranaments!" You pull on his wrist, guiding him to a box filled with many different glass orbs. Your palm and fingers seem to sear into his skin.

"I trust your judgment. Put up what you calls to you." You smile wide at him, wide enough that your eyes seem to smile too.

His heart skips a beat before you turn your back to lift a long string of fruit.

"Oi is that why the whole damn dorm smelt like oranges and grapefruits?" His eyes follow circles of oranges and pinks, dehydrated from an agonizingly slow bake.

"Yes. I used to makes these with my grandmother." You smile at the memory, tears threaten to fall but you do not allow them.

This was the first Christmas since her passing that you had felt even an inkling of the magic again.

Before, it all felt bleak, meaningless and the holidays were just another reminder that the spirit of the season had died with her.

Normally your feeling of dread would have started long before Thanksgiving and you would have been holed in your room debating whether any of this was worth it or not while lying prone for the fifth day in a row.

Hiding beneath your heavy comforter in your overly neglected room.

But you don't feel like that now.

So why were you dwelling on it?

Clearly your grandmother was here, guiding you, *reminding* you to enjoy the holiday.

That her memory would be honored as long as you spread the joy, even if it was something as small as listening to a few Christmas songs that you had actively avoided for years.

So God Damn it you were going to enjoy it while it lasted.

If for whatever reason the magic faded again then you'd cross that bridge when you got there, for now you were decorating with your grandmother and an unusual guest.

That very same guest whose eyes go wholly unnoticed by you as he watches.

Watches you fight whatever it is that goes on in that gorgeously smart head of yours.

Suddenly you move, delicately wraping what feels like miles of dried citrus around the deep green needles that seem to reach out for your loving touch.

Bakugou breaks the spell by finally picking up some glass orbs and dotting them all over the tree. The smell of pine, citrus and your signature shampoo tickle his nose here and there as he works. He even catches himself humming along to the songs that float in from the radio, enjoying the sound of your slightly off key notes.

The two work in otherwise silence before you begin to bump into one another as you near closer to the top, earning yourself a glare followed by a snarl.

"Oi! Watch it!"

Somehow you smile everytime he says it, confusing him further before the two of you step back to admire your work.

A few moments pass by before two sets of eyes fixated on the illuminated tree with scrutinizing eyes.

It looks amazing, perfectly balanced in color, light and decoration but it seems off...

And the answer sits on the tips of your tongues.

"Ah the star!" You exclaim, rooting through box after box before finally producing a large golden star.

It catches the light of the room, pulling scarlet eyes to the reflective surface. He watches the Christmas lights dance along the gold, fighting to shine as brightly as you.

You make your way to the ladder before he grabs onto your wrist, snatching the star with a snarl.

"I'll put it up, you'll probably just fall again." You notice the blush on his cheeks as he climbs a few rungs, "Is that good?"

He instantly regrets his question as his blush turns into agitated flush as you tell him to position it this way and that.

Small explosions pop over his hands hinting at what he is about to do when you tell him to move it "just a hair to the left" for the sixth time in a row. He takes in a sharp breath to yell before you beat him to the punch.

"PERFECT!" You exclaim, bouncing on the balls of your feet again as if you were a child basking in the presence of the tree after Santa came.

He comes down from the ladder standing beside you once more looking over the work the two of you have done. His heart beats faster and with excitement, the music encouraging the feeling of the scene melding together into a cohesive piece. For a moment he is taken somewhere else.

To a memory long forgotten of him barreling down the stairs, his mom and dad sitting on the couch with tea and coffee. Mysterious gifts nestled beneath the tree. He had gotten an All Might figure that year.

Warmth pulls him back to the present, your arm wrapped around his as you lie your tired head on his shoulder. Sparkling, wonderous eyes glistening with tears.

*Happy* tears.

He remembers what you were not like this last year. He remembers how you looked. Hated how your normally bright shining eyes had become dulled. How your sunshine seemed to bleed from your smile.

He loathed the idea of you, the brightest thing he could think of, seeing the world in drab boring greys like you did last year.

But this year must have been filled with vibrant colors.

And he had helped with that with something as simple as hanging a fucking ball on a tree.

He silently vowed to help you see that the holiday shined as brightly as you did all year round, even if it meant being woken up in the middle of the night because you just felt like it.

His eyes stray from the tree to you before looking over the room once more. Suddenly he realizes y'all's orientation of the room and he looks up.

Spying the green foliage with poisonous berries with deadly intentions.

A devilish smile forms on his face.

He pulls your chin to him, to be met with a furrowed brow. He leans closer, breath ebbing between touching noses before he tilts his head just so, crashing his lips to yours. Fully kissing you, tongue sliding over your lips to tease but you open your mouth to his surprise.

He snakes his tongue in for just a moment before pulling it out to guide your lips with his own into a passionate kiss.

Passionate enough that you lean further into him for support, you stare up at him in a daze with burning cheeks.

He smirks with reddened lips as one deadly finger points up.

"Mistletoe." He breathes darkly.

××××××××××××××××××××

☆° EPILOGUE °☆

The sun floods into the common room in hues of reds and pinks as Kirishima yawns heading for the kitchen.

Voices carry in from the living room detailing the ruby haired boy from breakfast for just a moment. . The TV is Eji's guess as he makes his way to investigate why someone would be either up so late or so early.

Kirishima crosses the threshold, ready to erupt with an overly cheerful goodmorning when it dies in his throat. He looks over the back of the couch to see Bakugou lying in his back arm protectively wrapped around you, as you lie between his legs. The two of you sleeping snuggly beneath a cat Christmas blanket as the TV plays a classic movie.

Ruby eyes notice the decorations, the tree, all of the stockings over a lit fire that were not there the night before. He smiles a wide toothed smile looking down at the two of you with faint smiles painted on your lips.

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Cori's Tale (Pt.1)

-------------------------

I was never much for listening to the old stories they told us about monsters and humans fighting. It wasn't that I didn't care- I just had better things to do, like drawing. I had a black backpack with gold spikes for all my sketchbooks and drawing materials, I never leave home without it. The other kids at school think it's weird, I've never taken the thing off since I got it, but I like it! That's all that matters.

Oh, how rude of me, I haven't even introduced myself have I? Cori Sable, resident nonbinary disaster child. Not that it's of any consequence what my gender or lack thereof is, after all I'm only twelve years old aren't I.

But back to the important stuff! I live in a community of lots of people, it's fun, we get along pretty well when people aren't calling me names or telling me the backpack I wear is pointless and stupid and I should just get rid of it.

If I had to complain about anything, it would be the fact that no one seems to notice how many kids go missing at Mt. Ebbot every year. Every year some kid gets dared to climb it, and every year they don't come back. With the way the other kids look at each other sometimes, I worry they know exactly what they're doing when they send someone up there.

"And that's the story of how the humans were victorious in the Battle of Mt. Ebbot," the teacher closed her book, placing it on a shelf next to her. I hadnt heard a word of what she said, not that it mattered since I already had the whole thing memorized to begin with. I glared enviously at the back of the room, where teenagers sat on their phones, willingly able to ignore the story and not get in trouble. We werent allowed to get phones until we were fourteen, and even then we had to get jobs first, and recite the story of monsters vs humans. I don't think I'll ever get a phone, I'm terrible at doing work for one. For two the way everyone here tells the story of our fight seems very biased, it's almost like they didn't try to cooperate with the monsters at all, just maim and kill and lock away where no one else can find them. It's rather rude in my opinion, monsters just seem like weaker magical humans, they just look different and have a different culture, I don't see what's wrong with that.

Of course, bringing this up would be a detriment to my already tediously hanging reputation here. A kid who isn't well liked would be ill-advised to go spouting off about how monsters and humans aren't so different, about how maybe if we'd shown a little mercy we wouldn't be in this situation.

See, we used to be able to live in separate houses, used to be able to get stuff whenever we wanted. But it turns out a lot of that was because if decent trading with monsters, and of course, no monsters, no nice things. Not to mention, going through an entire war is hardly good for anyone involved, it's actually probably the worst possible event to go through. That's what led us to here, with so many orphans the human race decided "why not just make all children orphans" and took us away from our parents nearly as soon as we were born to be raised in these communities, only able to escape once we prove sufficient enough to survive on our own.

I'll probably never get out, they'll kick me out at twenty-one of course, but the problem with that is, I don't think I'll get the hang of life by then, or ever really. There's just to many things to learn! How to drive a car, how to use a phone, how to get a job, how to talk to people, it's all way to much. And with no one helping me out, I'm basically trying to operate a plane where all the buttons are the same color and the switches don't have labels.

Recess was my least favorite part of the day. I used to like it, but now I get pushed off of everything I try to use. On top of that, recess is when The Choosing happens. If you haven't figured it out yet, that's when someone gets dared to climb a giant mountain or risk being labelled a coward and ostracised, one time a kid refused and they got them kicked out entirely!

"Cori!" I heard a rough grumbling voice call my name. I turned to face the girl, her name was Ulana, and she was the one who decided what happened to all of us. Red hair braided behind her back, Jean's ripped in so many places it couldnt possibly be intentional, the only thing scarier than her was the twin brothers that always followed close behind. Sora and Pevril were oddities of their own, with Sora having black and blue eyes and Pevril being abnormally tall for a child. They were of course, only scary when around Ulana, other than that, I didn't see them as much of a threat, sometimes it even seemed like we could be friends.

"What is it, Lan," I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't call me Lan," growled the girl, she was nearly a foot taller than me, and almost old enough to age out of the community to. But she was looking for a reaction, and I learned long ago that I should never give one to a bully, not if I had any self-respect.

"Right, well what do you want then?" I tilted my head to the side, focusing more on the sound of children playing in the distance than Ulana.

"I bet you can't climb Mt. Ebbot and survive," I froze for a second. I was aware I wasn't well liked, but perhaps i should've paid attention to just how deep that disdain went.

"And if I don't accept?" I said, digging my feet into the ground.

"Then I'll take that nice backpack of yours and chuck it in with the next kid, and you'll get kicked out," I wrapped my hands around the backpack straps subconsciously.

"Fine, I'll play your game, but if I do make it back, you can't send anyone else down ever again," I said, looking her directly in the eyes. There was a glint there, one I that sent shivers down my spine.

Mountains were, of course, cold, but my legs had a weird relationship with temperature. I had a blue and indigo striped hoodie on, one with little grey horns at the top, and black shorts with black boots. The ever important backpack was still tossed over my shoulders, sketchbook and art materials jostling around inside.

I reached the top of the mountain soon after, there was a crater at the center. I thought to myself for a second, whether Ulana had mentioned anything about going into the mountain, or if I could go home saying I had climbed it myself. I was in fact, so caught up in this decision, that I was caught off guard by a light shove from behind, and sent hurtling down the crater, my backpack clutched to my chest.

I landed, miraculously, in a pile of soft flowers, that seemed to cushion my fall.

I couldn't tell where I was, just that I was really far down, and the sky was really far up. I made the decision to keep walking.

After a few mere seconds of this I came across a patch of grass, where an orange tree stood at the center. I paused for a second before realizing- the tree had a face.

"Howdy! I'm Orangey, Orangey the orange tree!" It spoke, in a voice that sounded cold and calculated.

"Uh- hi- I'm Cori- the not orange not tree-" I said, doing a sort of two-finger salute in return.

"You're new to the underground arentcha?" Said Orangey, I nodded in response.

"Let me help you," suddenly something jumped out in front of me. It was glowing, different shades of pink blue and yellow faded in and out of what looked like a heart.

"This is your SOUL, the very culmination of your being!" Said Orangey, he seemed unphased by the tri-color phenomenon of it.

"Your SOUL can get stronger when you gain LV, that stands for LOVE," he said. I wasnt sure that sounded right, Love didnt seem like the kind of word one would need to abbreviate.

"Down here, LOVE is shared through friendliness pellets," spinning orange shapes appeared on all sides, I eyed them suspiciously "Go on! Catch as many as you can!" Said the tree. I chose to go the opposite route, backing away as the shapes closed in on me.

The tree's expression changed, it was one of anger and hatred "Smart kid, aren't you," its voice was deeper, less calculated, more angry and bordering on psychopathic.

The pellets surrounded me on all sides, preparing to close in. The tree began to laugh, a cold and unfeeling cackle that sent a chill down my spine. The pellets were inches away from my skin, when suddenly they'd disappeared, the tree was gone. Something- no- someone- walked out if the shadows. He was tall, with white fur and horns, and a tossle of light brown hair at the top of his head, adorned with glasses, a blue shirt, khakis, and a grey cardigan.

"What a cruel creature, torturing such a poor innocent youth," he spoke in a softer voice, one that reminded me of how the guardians back at the community spoke to the younger children.

"I am Patton, caretaker of the ruins, come with me, I will keep you safe," Patton held a hand out, I accepted it after a few moments hesitation. Patton walked with me through an archway, into an elaborate structure, covered with vines and flowers. I felt something spark in me, I thought back to the sketchbooks in my backpack.

"Can I sit down for a second? That was a little scary," I said. Patton smiled and nodded, setting himself down in a pile of flowers between two sets of stairs. I sat down as well and pulled out a sketchbook, beginning to draw the things surrounding me.

"Oh! An artist!" Patton said excitedly.

I smiled and brushed it off slightly "Not so much artist as bored little kid with to much creativity," was my only reply as we sat there, trying to ignore the things my head was telling me.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@nerosdayinhell

@that-artsy-gay

@official-lucifers-child

@spooky-scary-virgil

@youtuberswithalex

@misunderstoodshadowling

[jejciu]

maurycy ur so creative and passionate it gives me life! 🤧 i wish i could b more like u, but lately i've lost a lot of interest in my own oc's. keep going tho, i don't know much abt ur story but it sounds v interesting! 💞💖

thank u so much, words like this really make me feel like its all so worth it 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢 personally im always trying to use my ocs as much as possible, even when im close to being bored with them. my opinion on ocs is that theyre meant to be changed, meant to be dynamic, experimental, fluid… whatever u call it. when i first came up with midground in 2013, i lost interest of it pretty quickly, only to “refresh” the characters soon after that. i changed their looks, their hairstyles or eye colors, their nationalities and backstories, to whatever i felt was more inspiring to me or pleasant to write about.

i would always find it extremely weird when people would try to completely redefine other creators’ characters, but would stray away from creating their very own ocs for some reason. in my opinion, there are very few things more fun than creating a character right from a scratch…. theyre just there. theyre ur OWN. u can decide how warm or husky their voice is, how they show their affection or anger, what type of clothes they have in their wardrobe….

obviously its okay and its understandable to take breaks from focusing on ocs, but in my opinion, whenever u feel comfortable with it, u should try redesigning them - whether regarding their looks, general vibe or their personality. i think even more than i write the actual midground story, i write “AUs”, if i can call them that…. where theres a slight difference between that interpretation and the “canon” characters. i dont mean stuff like, coffee shop au, but more like… switching personalities, or changing the moment where they get to know each other. its incredibly fun and also helps u understand their personalities better, thinking about how would they act where their friend was actually a stranger, or how this setting influenced the way they deal with trauma, stuff like that. also this is why i often draw different versions of mercy, too, like blonde or pastel goth or whatever the fuck else i come up with….. its fun to go different ways, discovering new ideas and interpretations….

also playlists play a huuuuuuuuuuge role in my creating process. i use this one huge midground playlist with like 300+ songs in it and without it, i wouldnt have like half of the inspirations that influence my writings or drawings. what i often enjoy doing, is going into my fave artists spotify page and go into that rabbit hole of “similar artists other people also listen to”. its amazing and overwhelming in the best way possible, when u realize that there is literally no limit to what u can create. go make ur oc as a villain of the story, with little to no changes to their “canon” backstory. go make ur oc as the omnipotent being and the ruler of some universe. go make ur oc an alien whos discovering earth and learning how to be human and how to love others. go make ur oc a supermarket cashier who accidentaly discovers the gateways to hell in the abandoned storage room, whatever.

LMAO sorry it turned out to be a way longer answer that i first thot it would be. im just like….. really passionate about ocs, in case u couldnt tell 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 anyway, hope u can continue to work on whatever makes u the happiest!!!! and thanks again for the kind words 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

[vantekay]

valentine ||jhs

word count: 3.2k

estimated reading time: like 10 ish minutes, maybe? I haven’t been timing these sksks I’m sorry I will eventually come back and time it

genre(s): fluff fluff fluff and more fluff also a scene where you stargaze because I’m self indulgent and like every fic of mine that has a date scene includes stargazing sksksk sorry 

warning(s): none 

“throughout all the seasons, in this transition of winter-spring you've been here beside me with the sweet nothings you're whispering”

hoseok has always called you his rock because you kept him grounded whenever he needed it, reminding him in times of hardships that he was more than enough and that those bouts of feeling like he wasn’t enough would pass. he also called you his rock because you had been in his life for as long as he could remember, literally. you had known hoseok since you guys were kids. teeny tiny tots playing together at the daycare your mothers had both decided were good enough to watch you while they were busy. it all started because you, a very shy kid who kept to themselves in the corner, was crying and you immediately caught hoseok’s attention. you had come to find very quickly that he was the literal embodiment of sunshine and rainbows and everything else that could possibly bring you joy. he had been the only kid to approach you in the daycare since you arrived, and he made it his mission to make you happy. he had introduced himself to you as hobi, and from that day on it was hobi and y/n against the world. as you grew older, you had found that hoseok actually lived in the same neighborhood as you and this led to you and him growing closer as you aged. enter your tween and teen years and you were pretty much bound at the hip, doing anything and everything you could together. you had begun going to the others family gatherings, parties and other special events together and there came a time when both of your families had begun teasing you both about being an item. this would always prompt your cheeks to turn a deep rose color as hoseok denied any chances of getting together with you, claiming you were more like a sister to him. this had hurt you a bit the first few times he had said it, seeing as you had feelings for hoseok that were definitely not brotherly and you had always silently hoped he felt the same but you learned to quickly push those feelings down and laugh along with him whenever family members brought it up. this continued for a couple years until one drunken high school party where you had confessed your feelings for him and, to your surprise, he felt the same. the next day was spent soberly clearing things up and properly confessing, marking the beginning of your new relationship with hoseok. he learned very quickly that you were supportive of him. you always had been, but now that you proudly wore the title of girlfriend it had been enhanced ten fold and it made hoseok's day. whether it was cheering him on at his tennis games or during his swim meets, you never failed to bring a smile to his face when he caught you waving at him from the sidelines, the widest of grins on your face as you showed him how proud you were. you’re praises never stopped on the field though, no, hoseok would hear them the entire way back to your homes, and if you were spending the night at his then you would continue to praise him there too. when he had finished getting ready to relax and you were waiting for him on his bed with open arms, he would happily clamber into bed with you and accept your cuddles, you held him close to your chest as you ran your hand through his hair and continued to talk about how proud you were of him, how amazing he did during the game and so forth, until finally his eyes would flutter closed and the smile on his lips stretched wider.

“you're a lovable, angelic piece of perfect and anything i do for you is worth it times a million and a half”

it should come as no surprise that hoseok loves to do for other people, especially for you. whatever it was you needed him to do he would do it in a heartbeat. you needed a new pair of pants because you spilled coffee on your old ones? hoseok was already on his way to the mall as soon as you told him. you had a really bad day at work and you wanted takeout and a movie night in? hoseok has your favorite takeout place on speed dial and your order memorized and could make it to your apartment in 10 minutes flat with your favorite movie. you were his angel, his world, and he loved doing things for you. hoseok always made it known that you could count on him, constantly telling you that it didn’t matter how busy he was or what he was doing. reminding you that he would always drop whatever it was and help you in any way he could. this made touring a little difficult for him, seeing as how he wouldn’t be able to stop in the middle of a show to help you if you needed him but you knew he would help you as soon as he could. there was one time, however, where in the middle of a show he had gotten a message from your coworker telling him that you had fallen at work and were rushed to the hospital. it wasn’t anything major, just a preemptive trip to make sure you didn’t break any bones from the fall but it was still enough to plant that seed of worry in hoseok. what made this worse was the fact that he was in the middle of a show, in between songs and getting a quick change when he had heard the news from a staff member. they tried to reassure him that you were okay and that you weren’t actually hurt that badly, that your coworker just wanted to make sure you hadn’t broken any bones but it was still enough to drive hoseok mad. he tried to brush it off for the rest of the show and not worry ARMY but you were all he could think about. of course he immediately thought of all the worst case scenarios he could, like you being stuck at the hospital all by yourself because your friend had to leave, or you having broken every bone in your body and having to be put in a full body cast for a couple of months and many other unlikely scenarios. as soon as the show had ended, he rushed off stage to video call you, not even bothering with a text to make sure you were still up. his heart was relieved for a split second when you answered on the second ring, and he didn’t even let you speak before he was already blubbering off his concerns.

“oh god angel I’m glad you answered, I got the text from your coworker saying you were in the hospital as we were in the middle of the show and I was so worried about you. are you okay? did you break anything? do I need to sue your company for the fall? psychological damage that you may have suffered? god baby I’m so sorry I’m not there to sit with you in the hospital right now and- wait, are you at home?” hoseok furrowed his eyebrows and squinted down at his phone screen as you leaned your head back to let out a loud laugh. he backs away from his intense staring with his lips down in a frown and a pout on his face, waiting for you to explain.

“I got out of the hospital like, an hour ago love. it was just a trip to make sure I didn’t break anything, which I didn’t, I just twisted my ankle s’all.” as you spoke you could watch the worry physically drain itself from hobi’s face, his heart shaped smile beginning to form itself on his lips at the thought of you being okay.

“oh thank god, y/n I couldn’t even begin to tell you how worried I was about you, I was starting to wonder if management would let me fly home to see you in case you had been put in a full body cast or something.” now you both laughed, hoseok blushing slightly at how ridiculous he sounded but you assured him that you loved it, loved him for caring so much about you and being ready to do whatever he needed to take care of you. you meant a lot to him, and he would be willing to give you his heart in a split second if you needed it, that’s how much he loved you. 

“cause i love you and i'd like to spend forever in the subtle warmth inside your arms”

hoseok’s favorite thing to do with you has to without a doubt be cuddling. he loves it when you cuddle him or he cuddles you, he doesn’t mind either position as long as he can feel the warmth radiating off of your body and onto his. he loves holding you close, head pressed up against his chest so you can hear his heartbeat while his hand runs through your hair as he talks to you about his day and you talk to him about yours. hoseok always wants to be touching you in some way whether it be hugging or cuddling or holding hands, he always wants to feel your warmth. whenever you go out in public he is holding your hand, if you have to separate for whatever reason he always makes sure you part with a hug and if you guys are just spending time at the dorm or at your apartment you better believe you’re cuddled up on the couch together. hoseok loves it the most when he wakes up with you in his arms, the way you’re always wrapped up in his embrace like you haven’t moved since you fell asleep in the same position. he loves it when it’s raining really heavily and you beg him to sit out in the living room with you, huddled up on the couch with your favorite blanket and a movie on the tv, drowned out by the sound of the rain hitting the glass of your window. he loves it when you rest your head on his shoulder while gazing at something, whether it be your phone or whatever else may be holding your attention and he just enjoys being close to you, and he never wants to let you go.

“i'll keep on creating for you until my final days, dancing in the living room and smooching while the vinyl plays”

one of hoseok’s favorite memories with you is whenever he had a day off and you insisted on dancing with him, since he would continue to practice even if he was meant to be relaxing. the day usually goes something like this, you begin by sitting in the living room and watching him dance, then he insists on teaching you some of the moves so now you’re up and dancing with him and then eventually you convince him to do some kind of slow dance with you as a cool down from earlier. he would never admit it but he loves it when his days off go like this, getting some practice in and then ending it with you and him slow dancing while your bluetooth speaker plays whatever love song you have in your playlist. he loves holding you by the waist, watching as you lean your head forward on his chest while you dance, hands intertwined and the soft sounds of your breath mingling as you sway together in the living room. hoseok will begin his kiss attacks with simple smooches to you hair, and then gradually makes his way down to your face after you’ve removed it from the warmth of his chest to look up at him. he starts his descent at your forehead, leaving a kiss there before travelling to your nose, and then both cheeks, your chin, the corners of your mouth and then finally landing on your lips. the kiss is always soft and sweet and makes butterflies erupt in your stomach and you can’t get enough of him which leads into a makeout session. hoseok’s hands grip your waist a little tighter as your hands move to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck, not once breaking apart for air. you continue like that for what feels like hours, just holding each other and sharing kisses under the dim lighting in your living room until hoseok’s stomach begins to growl louder than the music playing in the background and you break apart with a laugh, walking into the kitchen together to prepare a meal.

“cause we can both hear the compliments coming in from these pals of mine and I've been wondering if you would be my valentine”

hoseok remembers back in highschool, when you had just started dating, and valentine’s day approaching faster than he would have liked. he was nervous seeing as it was the first holiday you would be spending together as a couple and he wanted it to be perfect. his friends had encouraged him, telling him they would help him with any planning or preparations he had. what he really wanted to do was take you out for a picnic date at the park you really liked that was a bit of a drive out of town and then watch the stars with you. he tells his friends about his plan in hopes that they will get the hint to leave him alone, but something about the way they smile at him after he’s done speaking tells him otherwise. brushing it off, he waits for you in the school’s parking lot and gets ready to put his plan into action. when you get into his car, he starts to drive towards the location of the park which is on the opposite side of town where you both live. you’re confused, and look over to ask him what he’s doing to which you only get a “you’ll see” out of him. you sit back and enjoy the ride, wondering what he could possibly have planned for today. when you arrive at the park the sun has begun its descent and hobi is quick to pull you out of his car and towards the location of the picnic dinner he has had set up for the past few hours. you laugh at his enthusiasm only to be wowed by the location for which he has picked out. the spot he found has a perfect overview of the horizon ahead, and it perfectly shows off the current setting sun and all of the orange pink and purple hues stemming from it. you stand there in awe, mouth hung open as you watch the sun set and hoseok can’t help but take a couple photos of you, some from a few feet behind you showing off both the setting sun and your silhouetted frame. he smiles down at the photos before walking up behind you and wrapping you up in a hug, head placed on your shoulder as he places soft kisses into the crook of your neck. you giggle before attempting to get away from him, claiming that his shows of affection tickle and that you want to eat. he leads you back over to the blanket and begins to pull out the food he had prepared. to your surprise, he pulls out a bunch of fruits and what looks to be kimchi made from scratch. you look up at him in awe while a blush blossoms on his cheeks. he dishes out the servings of food between the two of you before starting to eat, striking up conversation with you about school that day and what plans you had for the weekend. after you both finish eating and the sun has promptly set, he asks you to lay down with him on the blanket to stargaze for a little. it takes you by surprise, seeing as hoseok has never addressed the idea of finding stargazing particularly interesting but you assume that maybe he had seen posts about it on twitter or instagram pertaining to how it was a cute date idea. you lay hand in hand and watch the stars for about an hour before you pack up to go home, the cold air beginning to nip at your skin and creating goosebumps. once you’re back inside his car hoseok pulls out one last surprise gift for you. you assume it’s a ring, considering the box he occupies in his hands is too small to contain a necklace or bracelet and you feel your heartbeat begin to pick up. hoseok smiles before opening the case and showing off a beautiful gold promise ring set, one for you and one for him. he takes the one meant for you out and begins to place it on your ring finger as he speaks softly. 

“I got these because even though we just started dating, we’ve known each other our whole lives and I can’t imagine the rest of my life being with anyone else but you. I want to continue making memories with you and I want to build my future with you, y/n. so I want us to make a promise that we will always be there for each other.” hoseok looks back up from your hand with a smile on his face as he finishes talking and you quickly lean forward to place a chaste kiss on his lips. “of course I want to spend the rest of my life with you hobi, I promise.” you extend your pinky finger for him to latch onto and he does so with a small laugh, leaning forward to kiss you again. it isn’t until you hear whooping and hollering from outside that you pull away, looking around quickly to spot the source of the noise. hoseok rolls his eyes and leans his head back until it hits the headrest, promptly bringing his hands up to run down his face with a groan. “I knew they were going to follow us here.” he mumbles before his friends arrive at the driver’s side window, smirks plastered on their faces as they show hoseok a big thumbs up. when he turns to unlock the door their expressions all drop, quickly running off into the direction of their own cars in order to escape hoseok’s wrath. you laugh from the passenger's seat as you watch him chase his friends around the parking lot, yelling about how they “need to respect his privacy” and “can’t you guys get your own girlfriend instead of living vicariously through me?!” 

when he finally gets them to leave and has returned to his spot behind the wheel he turns to apologize to you, “as you can see, they were very excited for our valentines plans, and they wanted to see if you would turn me down or something I’m not too sure what they were expecting.” but all you can do is laugh some more and tell him that you didn’t mind, that you thought it was cute his friends wanted to see how things would turn out, and maybe they would finally listen to hobi and stop living as though you were their girlfriend as well.

[atfauomo]

Im sorry Im barely on here anymore hghghghh

Backstory: aTFAUomo Tesarus in a Messatine mine shaft, now colored! Soooo, not super satisfied with this piece. And so, after hours of working on this, Im done. Just going to take the L and move on. I don't care enough to not post it, I’ve been taking a lot of L’s this year already, it just this one has a tangible reward sooo lol. There was a good idea behind this, its just I have a problem with bringing it to life.

Yes there are problems with this art and story but idc. Im so burnt out it doesnt matter anymore lol.

So basic premise? Time is right before “The War”. Tesarus is a Destic, or a being created using a stolen Cybertronian spark, with vis purpose being to the will of vis imperial creator without agency. Ve was given sapience if ve took part in a revolt, and after so was betrayed by those ve saved, and sent to the miner prison planet Messatine. At this point, ve had made an unlikely reliance with criminals Rumble and Frenzy, and has good standing with the other miners, Cybertronian and alien alike. The planet is being attacked, so all the prisoners decide to make a break for it, Tesarus trapped in a cave.

Characterwise, Tesarus thinks a lot more than talks, as a good chunk of vis life ve had no ability to talk. Ve actually thinks quite eloquently, but ve never seems like it and always seems absent. When not depersonalizing, ve comes off as simple minded and crude with a dark sense of humor. Ve is mostly just unsure about vis place as a Cybertronian, and whether ve counts as one, or if anything matters.

Story:

Shards of crystal and stone showered down throughout the entire cavern, careening off of Tesarus like hail.  The shards’ impact created little sparks and scratches all over vis body, but that was the least of vis worries. The ground shook and heave with every boom from the surface, threatening to crack the entire planet in two. Sparks of light shot down from above, incinerating several crystal clusters into toxic ashes. Tesarus stood stiffly, gazing up and down of the cavern.

A sharp metallic noise went through vis communication waves, audibly assaulting ver with a painful sound.

“You MORON!” a voice weezed.  “This whole planet is collapsing into itself and you are actually trapped? Did your heavy tank self broke the floor or somethi--”

“Pipe down you slagging piece of minimetal! Just help me out here!”

“What’s the problem guzzler?”

“Well, there is a war on this planet, I'm stuck in a cave, I'm stuck talking to the squeakiest bot of all time--”

“You dumbass just tell me what is the color of the crystals in the cave right now!”

Tesarus scanned the area.  “Okay, there are faded...pink?...clouds and dark purple gas flowing…crystals are of the same color...”

Groans filled the other side of the com. “Those are unstable unnutrium-energonistic--”

“Enough babbling Frenzy how do I get out?”

“I was talking! Yeesh, anyway, just...I know this is hard for a bumbling buffoon as yourself, but do your best to lightly step towards your northside. Try to avoid the purple gas--”

Tesarus looked to the gas clouds that filled the cave.

“--as that will slowly dissolve different tiny pieces in your frame, worse so if you have small cuts.  Naturally, avoid the crystals, especially prolonged contact. They burn.  But whatever happens, don’t mix the affected area with the opposite color of gas.”

“....what?”

“HURRY UP IDIOT!!”

Tesarus slowly stepped from step to step. All the sudden, a large blue flash exploded into the cave. As flash dissipated, the cave filled with a sparking magenta light. Sparks appeared, as Tesarus could feel tiny prickles of static upon his frame. Tesarus saw an opening to the chaotic scene above.

Tesarus jumped to the surface. As if on cue, the whole cavern turned bright and caved in. Tesarus gathered vis wits and the wheezy voice spoke.

“Hey you jumped too close you guzzler!” piped out a tiny red and black minicon.

“Shut up Frenzy you know that I hate--Wait Frenzy?” Ve cocked vis head and smirked. “Which one is Rumble? The geeky black and red one or the not-that-bad blue one?”

The minicon’s hands turned into drills. “Oh SHUT UP TESARUS you KNOW WHO THIS IS! I OUGHTA JUST LEFT YOU THERE YOU OVERGROWN GUZZLER PIECE OF--!”

“You BOTH come ON we don’t have time for dumb metal smacking!” yelled a blue minicon.

Tesarus grumbled and grabbed both minicons and ran as the ground rose and fell under battery fire. The once desolate planet was now a rising sea of explosions and rocks.

“There it is Tesarus, the shipping dock! Head to it!” yelled Rumble.

From the chaos, an imposing sleek building held its ground. Avoiding various chasms, Tesarus took a leap and made it to the building’s entrance.  

Ve waved vis huge fists in the air, wiping out the security drones without so much as a glance, tearing through the fortified strongholds of the ships as easily as air. Ve felt a sick rush from it all, despite vis own ligaments disintegrating bolt by bolt.  

Frenzy screeched. “Hey! You almost threw that crumpled up drone at me!”

“Oh shit well sorry that there is toxic gas seeping through my systems!”  

Frenzy directed the two to the largest ship possible and ran.

Frenzy made quick work of the ship’s security measures, and soon all the ships were up and running. Ve ran inside and Rumble followed suit, Tesarus thankful for not having to bend down for once.

The minicon ran to the front of the ship, pressing all kinds of buttons and speaking all kinds of languages over the intercoms.  Miners from all over were piling into the now open ships, lifting into the air. It was a sight, the ships that took them in suddenly lifted into the air ina spark stopping speed, as beacons of light, the night sky filled with dark blue and orange streams as they raced away from their prison.

Tesarus was in awe. Various ships did complex turns and strikes against enemies, the world filled with a destructive yet freeing light. Ve had never seen anything like it.

Rumble cackled, breaking Tesarus from vis trance. “Okay you easily impressed trash heap, stick out your arm.” Tesarus did so, vis hand easily being larger than the bot and vis twin combined. Rumble took some mental notes and rummaged around the ship and returned. Ve stuck vis tiny hands with all kinds of attachments, of tiny lasers and tiny drills and other tiny things. Rumble swiftly moved from various sections of Tesarus’ frame, lastly hopping to the side. “So move around Tessy and see how ya feel.”

Tesarus stood, looming over the makeshift mechanic.  “Holy shit you two really do know things!”

“Well, I knew a bot….” Rumble’s voiced trailed off, and for a second ve seemed to be somewhere else. Suddenly, ve straightened verself and smirked.  “Well, I need to make a few more adjustments. But this should hold for a bit until we can get some more experienced hands here. I am actually suprised that Frenzy here actually was able to fly this thing!”

“I told you morons that I was hella smart! Why did you think I got locked up here in the first place? Where else would they put the finest decoder in all of Cybertron? In the dirt!”

Frenzy dramatic took a deep lean into vis pilot’s chair and sighed, putting vis dusty pedes onto the dashboard.  “Technology such as this is mere sparkling play for me!”

“This is the opportunity Megatron couldnt even dream of happening! This is even better! This is the perfect chance! ”

Tesarus tiled vis head. “What is that supposed to mean?

Frenzy lept form vis chair and went up to Tesarus. “ You dumbass! WE did all of this, all on our own! WE are a part of this epic story! Dont you see? WE heading back to Cybertron!”

Frenzy smirked. “Rumble you stupid ass Tesarus boyo here has never been to Cybertron!”

Tesarus wrinkled vis face. “...Cybertron?”, ve said uncomfortably.

Frenzy got up from vis chair and looked to Tesarus. “Uhh...Dont you worry too much! Bunch of weird bots from other places like you escape and go to Cybertron and dont get deactivated!”

The giant tensed at the last word. Ve thought ve felt that ve wa being deactivated on multiple occasions, but ve never felt so close to it as ve was heading towards vis home planet.

All the sudden, Rumble sheepishly grinned and looked to the side. “Or at least thats what we’ve heard!”

Frenzy butted in” Im sure you arent the biggest piece of scrap theve ever seen--Though with your track record??” Frenzy quipped. “Hmmmm. You are on your own for that one!”

“Fren--”

“I mean all I ever did was crash the place’s electronic systems, I never like, murdered a whole--”  

“Frenzy!!”

Frenzy sighed. “Well, I mean, you always said that you wished you were deactivated, so this would be perf--”

“Frenzy thats enough!!” Rumble hissed.

Silence ensued.

“Okay okay, sorry my guy Ill shaddup now!!” Frenzy sighed and dropped to vis seat. Ve popped open a tank quality energon cube much larger than verself and drank and immediately passed out.

Rumble slid off vis protective goggles and looked to Tesarus. “Well, I never was the one for niceities but...Dont mind ver, ve’s just an asshole! Im sure that you’ll be...okay?” Rumble went awkwardly back to work as Tesarus placed vis gaze onto the view outdoors, looking at the dtstant stars and galaxies ahead.

Cybertron was just a myth to all Destics.  Cybertron, the homeland, the place from whence their sparks were stolen and sold to do the work of the lowly or corrupt. Cybertron, the supposed paradise that supposedly held open arms to its lost sparks to join back in society. Cybertron, the place had let its arms open for sparks to be lost.

But what did such a place have to do with someone like Tesarus? Ve didn’t even look like ve belonged anywhere, and ve couldn’t play like ve did like Frenzy and Rumble. Ve stuck out as easily as a Guardian Bot, vis own makeshift spark sending out its bastard sparkwaves to all around it.

This wasn’t the first time that Tesarus felt that sense of the unknowing freedom. It happened so long ago back on Tesarui Eva, that moment sealed with the treachery of the one who taught ver how to feel, with ver in chains and crushing torment, waking in the unforgiving Messatine. But now it was actually happening, ve can see as the planet’s surface began to look not as a warzone but as just a cloudy dust speck in the distance of space, and ve began to imagine how vis messed up speck of a spark would appear to those in its sight.

[blackvail22]

its late at night and i just need to talk

b went to a music festival with her other friend yesterday. i feel incredibly jealous because her other friend is so much.... more than me? shes better at communicating, shes more fun, theyre like... so much better than me in all ways. them two have been friends for YEAAAARS, so i cant say im all that surprised on how much they click. i think im just jealous because their interests are the same but different. when i went to disneyworld, i hung out with b and her friend. as much as they occasionally talked to me, i felt like i was a charity case. i felt like no one really wanted me there? and i dont even think they meant to. i think their energy together is so much more natural than mine? they always made sure i was comfortable on rides and stuff, but i still didnt feel like i belonged. at some point, i decided that i should stop being a burden and made an excuse to be by myself for most of the remaining of the trip. was the excuse true? yeah. was it as severe as i made it out to be? honestly, i wouldve survived regardless. there was a time where i saw them walking past me but i was in a spot where there was a tree in front of me so they couldnt rlly see me. they looked so happy without me. they spent their time walking around epcot, visiting the different countries inside of the park, riding an exclusive ride. i sat in a bathroom most of the time, and eventually was forced to sit with the family of my ex's new girlfriend. i am upset that i wasted many days of that trip, but the only one i can be upset with is myself.

on other topic,

im not ready for the end of my senior year. has it even started? no, it starts at the end of the month. still, my face is going to be on a banner in a bowling alley for everyone to judge (my sport in school is bowling). senior photos. DO NOT get me started on that. idk if u know, but senior photos is where a senior has a photoshoot at this place anywhere in our town to commemorate the way they looked their senior year. i AM NOT prepared for that at all. luckily i can wait to do it at any given time, but bro??? and also PROM???? id go to prom whether im a junior or senior, but im not ready for that either. at least i dont have any exams i have to take but im literally so incredibly scared. at the end of the year we have to put down what we plan on doing after high school too.... and then i have to walk in that ugly colored gown. im so. im just scared. idk.

my brain isnt processing the fact that i am turning 17 next week. i feel like im so young??? ok like i know im still young obviously but i feel like im younger than that. its... weird. i feel like im trapped in a body that isnt mine yk? i feel like i dont look like what i expect myself to every time i look in the mirror, or in that one baby photo on the wall. when i wake up i forget where i am. looking around my living room right now and it feels so foreign. nothing feels right.

[piamii]

LA trip 1.0

On the way to sf with my mom. Since she's driving the first leg, I might as well take the chance to write about my trip so far. Can't do cuts on my phone so will be a big wall of text.

I'm really happy with everything I got to do, especially because I got to spend time with my friends. It was my goal to make this trip into a mini vacation despite interviews and the stress of travel and that goal was a success.

I kind of want to write a post later on about me and Ms process of getting back together because it was complex and very significant to me, but that's for a later time.

Monday: although I was with my mom, it was the first time I got to take care of a lot of travel details on my own. It was tedious, but I feel a lot more confident doing it on my own next trip. I was planning on preparing for interviews and relaxing when I got back to the hotel, but I decided to make an impromptu trip to meet up with H that night. That ended up being a great decision for a lot of reasons. I got to drive through the city alone at night while blasting music, which helped me feel more comfortable with the area and more confident being in a new place. I found a few new songs I really liked on xm radio, which was nice because I've never had xm radio and it's really exciting to me LOL. Second, I got to meet H and drive him around and buy him a London fog latte from Starbucks. It was really natural and casual which made me really happy. I never had any doubts about our friendship but it just confirmed that our friendship irl was pretty much exactly the way it is online, just a little more "real" now. And it's weird to think that if I do end up in LA we can hang out all the time, and if I don't then these few weeks will just remain a fond memory.

Tuesday: open house and interview #1. I would give the site a B in terms of fit. Pretty high level of anxiety, hard to fall asleep etc, as is typical for the first time doing anything. Great program but not exactly what I'm looking for. Glad their interview was my first one because it helped me prepare for the rest. After a certain point of preparation, you just can't prepare for these things anymore. I was trying to remember everything I wanted to say but didn't get to say everything I wanted to say. So after this interview I thought, fuck it. I'm good enough to do well at any of these sites so I'll end up wherever I'll end up.

Wed: hung out with H and L. I think I will always cherish this day. Hung out with H at the mall for a bit to prep for interviews, he bought me a caramel americano from coffee bean and tea leaf (delicious!), and then we hung out at the tesla superchargers for awhile. Tesla has a really nice community in SoCal- so many people came up and asked h about his car I lost count and they were all really friendly. Also I'm convinced tesla is the future, everything is just amazing about his car. Hahaha :) then we met up with L at kbbq. As expected, the interaction was easy and pleasant. I was really really happy to spend time with both of them since I've known them for almost 3 years at this point; it still feels a bit surreal that it finally happened after all the times we joked about meeting up and eating together. L got me some under eye masks to help with my dark circles <3 and we found out we couldnt eat very much for all you can eat since we only ate 3 rounds. But it was delicious and we went to get strawberry bingsu. We did h's hair at the bingsu place which was highly entertaining. And then L had to go and i had an inner conflict about whether to get Taiyaki too. I figured I wouldn't have another chance for a long time so h bought Taiyaki for me :D it was delicious and colorful and made me very haps and very cold. Overall, a very very happy day ^___^ @floflogotmojo

Thurs: interview 2 - a wtf kind of interview, but in a good way. Went to see the view by the beach and then got the best udon of my life with H spontaneously later that day. We also went to a Japanese store and H bought me melty chocolates and a cream bun. :D :D

Friday: open house 2 to correspond with interview 2. Liked the work environment way better than place 1, but still didn't have a lot of opportunities for integrated care. I would give the site an A - S for work environment and B for fit of training oppprtunties. One of my previous mentors/cotherapists is part of the current intern cohort which makes me like the place even more since I fit well with her. She invited me to drinks (that I had to decline bc of schedule conflict), which made me feel very warm and welcomed. Hung out with R in downtown LA after that. I accidentally routed to the wrong place with the exact same street name so I was 45 minutes late. We picked up some pastries and drinks and went to chat in the open mall area. It made me happy that r planned everything, I just got to walk around and enjoy the sights and environment without anxiety. Talking with R was more or less just like how we talk online. Very comfortable interaction and made me feel like our friendship has a lot of potential. I like the big sister/little brother dynamic. He treated me to sundubu and then took us to overlook the city at Griffith. Good eats and good views :) it's really nice being around a happy go lucky, open minded, and accommodating enfp; in a lot of way R is similar to my mom. I pay a lot more attention to these things now because I've become more critical and analytical about my relationships. Anyways, another happy memory made.

Saturday: I decided to spend the day with my mom. We talked a lot about family relationships and about our difficulties with communication. I think it brought us closer and was very needed. I also watched a lot of Chinese drama because I need to keep brushing up on Chinese for my interview in 2 weeks...

Overall I think 2018 will be the year of boldly growing into new experiences and culling/strengthening friendships. I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to experience so many new and happy things in the very first week of the year. To many more good memories and opportunities for growth! :)

[illtrytobegood]

Home for the Holidays: goodbye (3 of 3)

 Nightmare (Celestia - Admin): Nigthmare was just crying a little still feeling bad, but when the musix box start to play, he slowly was calming down in crying... He looked at Gummy and how he experiencing it... Nighty sniffed a little and one of his vines appeared to pet Gummy softly on stem. He shouldn't talk about it all... there's no reason for that... Gummy is in his own thoughts now...

 Pots: Pots had been sulking in his room for the entire day after the whole Letep fight.  Whatever happened to him, he wondered.  Well it didn't really matter, he supposes.  It IS only Letep, and he's only like a half step above a Pink SOUL. And besides Pots figured "I didn't even do anything." Oh crap.  He recognized that line.  That's the sort of thing #3 would say.  In fact, had said.  Twice.  He's slipping again.Pots decides to leave his room and notices it seems really quiet tonight.  Wanting someone, anyone, to talk to he decides to simply knock on all the doors again. Skipping #6 (his own) and #12 (Marey, he was still upset at her). eventually he thinks he can hear the faint sound of music and crying.  It seems he isn't the only one in need of comfort tonight

GUMMY (LLA): Gummy's eyes were tired, he could stop the tears running down his face, he didn't look up from the music box he just listen to it. He didn't know what to feel, Shifter was gone, he would forget when he went home. He would have to be reminded again of who shifter was and why they were so important to him... it wasn't fair. But shifter was safe. Shifter was safe... ebott and akim would help shifter better than he could... he couldnt... he couldn't do anything to help Shifter... not the way shifter needed

Pots: Hearing crying, Pots knocks on the door again."Hello?  Are you okay in there?"He recognizes the crying. Because, let's face it. Gummy cries.  A lot.  But he pretends to not recognize the sound of those tears.

 GUMMY (LLA): Gummy didn't speak, he just continued to sniff and hiccup as shifter's music box kept playing. he was a horrible friend, he couldn't even... he put his face into his vines, "... I-it's not fair... I... I really tried..."

 Nightmare (Celestia - Admin): Nigthmare looked at him and came little closer, he already calmed a little by hisself. "p-please... don't blame yourself..."  "You are a friend, t-that... many other p-people wish for... I'm sure S-shifter was greatful for having you h-here... " He said and hugged Gummy little, not moving him too much from his position on floor.

 Pots: It seems the patience game wasn't going to work.  Pots alos noticed an unfamiliar voice in there with him.  He couldn't make out the words, but it sounded like he was trying to comfort Gummy, judging by the tone of his voice.  He also noticed Letep sneaking into Marey's room, but chose to leave them be.  Pots decided to take a more direct approach this time. knock-knock.  It seems Gummy's tears are infectious.  Eve Pots had started to sob.  Not only that, but his purple coloring seems to have bee fading a bit.  Probably both due to the time and from chimera's drool from that crazy kiss last night "G-gummy?  Are you in there?  It's me, Pots.  C-can I come in."

Nightmare (Celestia - Admin): Nightmare jumped a little and looked at the door. Someone wanted come in to room, maybe it's for better? If it's one of Gummy's friends, they can help...

 GUMMY (LLA): Gummy sniffed, rubbing his eyes, he didn't know what to do. his friend was gone, he sent him home... why didn't he feel good about it? why couldn't he feel like he did what was right... ".... I'm the worst friend.... I never should have... Shifter would have been better off if I just... " he trailed off going back into his tears as the music box started to die out. it was his fault, everything that had happened... it was the universe punishing him for what he had done... it had to be... and to make matter worse he'd forget... he'd never even get to remember the good he had done...

 Nightmare (Celestia - Admin): "Don't say that!" He asked worried. Nightmare decided to wind the music box for him carefully. He didn't knew to be honest if there is something that he can do to make Gummy feel better, and... it's hard to tell seeing what happening now... wheter... it was a good idea for giving  return candy to him in the first place?

 Pots: Pots tries nudging the door gently, and if that doesn't work, turning the doorknob.  He still remembered what Gummy said about his askers when at the hospital.  He didn't know if Gummy really felt that way about him.  Or if that was just a heat of the moment reaction.  gummy was pretty out of it at the time, after all. If the door was locked he would wait there for about two more minutes before he would leave, assuming Gummy wanted some alone time.  After all Gummy has been through lately (between Sans and this event), if Gummy simply wanted some alone time outside of the pot, Pots would be willing to accommodate that request for tonight. If the door were unlocked, he would take a peek inside and give a friendly wave before awaiting confirmation on whether he should come in or leave.

GUMMY (LLA): "BUT IT'S TRUE!" he snapped around to nightmare, he was shaking, he couldn't stop crying, " Sh-shifter deserves to have a friend who can remember him! a-and I keep forgetting him... I- I don't even know how many times I've met him, how many times Frisk has made me forget that..." Gummy sniffed, he heard the rattling at the door, and turned the nob letting whoever it was inside... seeing the purple pots seemed to make Gummy calm down slightly, as his voice got quieter, he eyes were filled with pain as he spoke, ".... Shifter... shouldn't have to put up with me forgetting him... forgetting to look out for him... and be there when he needs it...." he looked back to the music box, ".... I... I don't get to have friends...."

 Nightmare (Celestia - Admin): Nightmare looked with tears at him. He hugged him again to hisself. "Shhh... Gummy... that's all... i-it's... not your fault... it's not how things should look for you... I can only imagine how bad you feel... h-how bad you feel without control over timeline... i-it's really not fair. You don't deserve it... and... that's why you need friends around you. Shifter will remember you... most of us propably will... you will see him again... he will tell you how much you done for him, how you both felt around each other... please... don't lose hope for that..." He wiped face a little.

Pots: Pots approaches Gummy.    He was glad to see his friend calming down, if only slightly.  Seems Gummy isn't afraid of Pots killing him or torturing him, that's a good thing.  But it was so sad seeing Gummy like this. Pots slowly approaches Gummy.  He so wanted to say he'd be Gummy's friend.  But, right now that could wait.  Whatever had happened here must have been really sad.  Did something... happen to Shifter?  Was Letep going to Marey room to GLOAT about it?  No.  No.  There would have been far more rage in Gummy's voice and eyes if this was that guy's doing.Wait?  "you will see him again?"   J-just hug him for now, Pots. You can figure the rest out later.  But right now, Gummy needs some sort of comfort.Pots attempts to hug Gummy

 Nightmare (Celestia - Admin): "It doesn't metter if you will forgetting... as a friends... w-we will remind you everything again and a-again." Now they both Nightmare and Pots was comforting Gummy.

 GUMMY (LLA): Gummy didn't move. he felt numb. everything felt numb. He would end up going back and he would forget all over again... it didn't matter to Frisk... he was frisk's prisoner, Sans' punching bag, he had done so much wrong that it only made sense that karma was finally taking it's toll on him... he deserved it... didn't he? The music box was all Gummy looked at, Shifter was gone, he did that... Shifter had to be fine, his REAL friends were going to find him and bring him back... he couldn't do that... he wasn't good enough...  the song started dying out again before Gummy spoke, "...you'll remind me....? so that way you can lie to me about Shifter again?... tell me he's my best friend and then... never let me see him again...?" Gummy sniffed, "...or you'll make me forget him again... ju-just to watch it hurt me more...?...........heh...heh....H-how many times have you done this...? Ho-how many times have you made me and Shifter meet like this...? H-how many times ha-have you made me forget him....?"  gummy with a shaking voice, and pain ringing in voice, ".... why c-can't you let me remember him....?"

 Nightmare (Celestia - Admin): "Gummy..." Tears fell down his face. "It doesn't depend from us... i-it's... your timeline... universe... c-can't you just find a w-way out from there?" He decided to not wind the music box for now... Gummy seems more for talk after having it off.

Pots: Pots' sobbing intensifies, tears flowing freely down his face.  He hugs a little more tightly.  It's not his fault.   And it's not Gummy's fault, either.  Pots already had an idea who was really behind these "resets."  But it was too early to say for sure.  Not to mention, Gummy would think it's a trick, a lie.  Nobody would believe that story anyways. "I...  I..."  He couldn't bring himself to even finish that simple sentence.  His word srendered useless for the moment, he begins to gently pat Gummy with one of this vines instead.

GUMMY (LLA): "... th-there's no way out...." Gummy kept staring at the music box, as if it was still playing. his petals were drooped, he didn't know what to say anymore.. shifter was gone.. he... he did his best... didn't he...? "I can't... I'll be stuck there forever..." he sniffed as he try to move his final vine out of the imaginary embrace with shifter, it wasn't fair... it wasn't..."...I just want to remember them.... but I don't deserve that..."

 Pots: "Don't!  D-don't say that Gummy!"  Pots is having difficulty breathing properly too.  Actually... Pots realized he had the perfect thing for this situation...  "Just one minute Gummy, I'll be right back!"  Gives Gummy a single petal kiss before releasing the hug and burrowing to his room. Pots rushes off to his room, grabbing a Shifter plush, as he had been knitting a few of them during his downtime the last several days before immediately returning to Gummy's room and shutting the door.  No telling when Letep might be getting back, and that was the last thing Gummy needs to contend with right now. "I know it's not the real thing, but..."  hands Gummy one of his spare Shifter plushes.

 GUMMY (LLA): Gummy looked at the plushie, grabbing for it slowly before bringing it into his embrace... he didn't let go. not a single movement other than the new grip on the plush replacement... he sniffed again, "... it's... it's not fair...."

 Pots: "I know. I know."  Helpless to change this horrible fate, Pots pats Gummy on the back consolingly, and just lets the two of them take in the moment of quiet for now.  No words.  No anons.  No Sans.  Looking back, Pots realized he had lectured Gummy a lot in Gummy's own timeline.  And the same was true for Shifter.  Lecture, lecture, lecture.  and if not that, then selfish demands like Do this thing. Save that guy  Or forgive that jerk. As he exhales, he comes to a sudden realization.  He may not be able to stop the resets.  But there IS one thing he CAN do. Pots silently promises himself to become a better friend to both gummy and Shifter once this event is over.  After all, there's tons of human askers who can lecture just fine.  But there aren't many flower askers for either of them.  Most of the flowers had sided with Shifter's brother, at least from what Pots could tell.

 GUMMY (LLA): Gummy sniffed holding the Shifter plush close to him, it wasn't the same... it wasn't... Shifter wasn't coming back... it was his fault... if he just waited... they could have had an actual goodbye... he could have... he- Gummy sniffled, "... w...I should get Shifter's things... he deserves to... get them back..." Gummy moved toward Shifter's things littering the floor putting them into a pile... one by one he walked them to the TV... he wasn't sure how to get them back.... why couldn't he... he picked up the stuff dog, before he said, "... can you give Shifter his stuff back for me...?"

CuteCat: Aside from the knife, everything was there. His plush dog, his music box, that bag of gummy things and gummy sharks, and an unmailed letter to Santa, clearly written by Papyrus but in Shifter's name.

 Pots: "O-of course, Gummy."  His breathing still erratic, Pots was secretly worried if Shifter would even still be okay after everything that happened.  And that was without actually knowing the true extent of what happened.  But Pots had just promised to be a better friend.  And... and that meant believing in Shifter. He had to trust Shifter was strong enough to come back from this.

 GUMMY (LLA): Gummy put down the dog in the pile, before picking up the letter... the letter where Letep had interupeted him and Shifter... where he had hurt Shifter's belief that this Santa guy could bring him anything... Gummy knew he couldn't but... he looked down at the letter, bringing a vine down the seal, he could open it right...? maybe he could get that item... maybe he could....he stopped before he tore it open... what would be the point of it, Shifter wouldn't want it from him...

Pots: Pots looks a little scared.  T-that's private! He thinks to himself.  But it's too late to do anything about it now.  And calling Gummy out on it would only serve to cause another fit at this point.  Whether it be of tears, or rage, or both Pots didn't know and did not care to know.  Gummy wouldn't remember any of this. W-wait?  He stopped opening it?  If Gummy continued, all Pots would have to do to fix the "problem" would be to find a new envelope and reseal it before he delivered the items to Shifter.  Perhaps he could take a look at the letter later on, but he could do that in private if he so desired.  Pots was unsure what this letter was, having missed the letter event entirely. Pots turn his gaze towards Gummy, steadying it at eye level with him.  He plans to nod in acceptance, whether Gummy chooses to open the letter or to respect his friend's privacy.  "Your timeline, your rules," he thinks to himself.  Even though he knows that technically this isn't Gummy's timeline, so "you're friend, your rules" would have been a more appropriate thought.

 GUMMY (LLA): Gummy looked down at the letter, putting it in pile, then rubbing his vines together as he looked at the stack of Shifter's belongings.... "....Sh-Shifter hates me now right....? I didn't help him make new memories.... and I... I was only around when things were at their worse for him..." he couldn't cry anymore, he was finally out of tears. " I probably only could have make it worse...I haven't done a single thing right anyways..."

 Pots: Pots was having difficulties coming up with good memories the two shared that WEREN'T turned into negative experiences by outside meddlers.  But he didn't want to use a fake memory, like the hospital scene. Pots attempts to pat Gummy on the back again.  "I-I don't think he hates you, Gummy.  But, if you want, I can ask when I bring him all these memories"  gestures to the pile of items "the two of you made together.  Of these things the two of you did right."

GUMMY (LLA): Gummy stared at the items, he wasn't sure what to make of anything anymore, he rubbed his vines together as he finally sighed and giving a quiet reply, ".... we didn't do any of these things together..." gummy picked up the letter again, showing it to pots, "...the only thing I was there for was this... and I upset him..." gummy looked at the letter again, "I can't make it up to him..."

SilverKhaos, Mun of Chiller/Lit: Silver yawns as he opens his door, starting to walk down the hall towards the Stairs, with a Little Rainbow Flower on his Shoulder. His Metal steps going by their Room. Auber: "Oh! Oh! Can we please go have some Fun Dad! I want to see Shifter and Gummy! They were good friends..." The Flowers Voice being quite loud for such a Small Flower. And he smiled to the little flower, papping him.

 Pots: "A-auber?" and, then he thinks "Dad?"  Which Dad though? Silver, or Letep "One moment Gummy, I gotta check something really quick."Pots nudges open the door and peeks out of the room, seeing Silver and Auber.  He quietly taps a vine against hallway's wall and leaving the door half-open when he confirms it's not Letep.

GUMMY (LLA): Gummy sniffed and stared at the letter, squeezing the shifter plushie tighter

 SilverKhaos, Mun of Chiller/Lit: Silver blinks, turning back as he hears a Door Open. Silver: "Hmm?" The Metal man turned towards The door, and sees the Fuzzy Petals of Pots and raised a brow. Silver: "...what is it?" The Metal man was confused by Pots Tap, but comes a bit closer to him. Auber blinked, staying Silent for a bit, then goes to Bap Pots in the Face.

 Pots: Pots uses one vine to simulate a gummy worm in his mouth, and the other to motion Silver to come in before getting playfully bapped in the face by Auber.  Pots giggles at the little guy.

 SilverKhaos, Mun of Chiller/Lit: Auber walked in, with the Metal Man Following after him. Auber: "Hallo Friend! Do you need a Hug? You have a Little Plush friend hugging you!" Silver blinks walks in, wondering what Gummy was feeling sad about. Silver chooses to be Silent, if Pots didn't close the Door after them, he did...these two were likely to much.

 Pots: Pots closes the door, still unsure if Letep was still... inside... Marey...'s room.  And he didn't want to think about that image.

 GUMMY (LLA): Gummy didn't make any movements, he just hugged the shifter plushie, his eye's were filled with pain, he couldn't cry anymore. he couldn't feel anymore, he was numb. his gaze didn't leave the letter. it was his fault.

 Pots: Pots could clearly see Gummy's guilt with how hard he held onto the plush.  He's already done most of what he can for Gummy, at least for now.  So he instead motions for Silver and Auber to approach him instead.

 SilverKhaos, Mun of Chiller/Lit: Auber goes to Hug Gummy closely him closely, Pots had the Metal man's Look, then Saw his Motion, Auber was already doing it, not even seeing Pot's Movement. Silver: "What happened with Gummy?" Silver got a Shake from his 3DP as he checks it. Silver: "Holy shit he has one...Fuck..." The Metal man turned to Pots. Silver: "So what should I tell Letep?" Auber was trying to hug Gummy close, as a Friend, but the Small Flower, he was smaller then the Plushie, but he tried anyways. Auber: "I want Friend to be Happy!"

 Pots: (Whispers to Silver) "I don't care what you tell him. Just keep him away from Gummy."

 GUMMY (LLA): Gummy didn't make indication that he felt the embrace. he just didn't move he didn't flitch, he just stared at the letter.

 SilverKhaos, Mun of Chiller/Lit: Silver: "...now Marey is Messaging me...like they Saw what I sent to Letep..."  Auber goes to bap Gummy, trying to play some with him. Auber: "Is my Friend Gummy Okay? You look Sad...I know what will Cheer you up! Let's Play Tag!" Auber tried to hop up and down.

 Pots: Pots is curious why the 3DP shook twice, was one of them Chiller or Lit? Then hearing Silver's explanation "I saw Letep entering her room earlier today.  Not only that, but Marey actually ATTACKED me and my friends, including your eldest son, last night."

 SilverKhaos, Mun of Chiller/Lit: Silver: "....oh...Is that So?"

 GUMMY (LLA): gummy squeezed the shifter doll tighter. he sniffed, and he look away from the letter and auber, he couldn't stop feeling like he it was entirely his fault. Shifter wouldn't be back, he wouldn't remember, and why were they... he was suppose to play with Shifter... but he was gone now...

Pots: "Hey, Gummy.  I... I know I can never replace Shifter.  B-but would you like to play with me tomorrow?  I'll be at room 6."

SilverKhaos, Mun of Chiller/Lit: Silver, after a while, smiled, then put away his 3DP, Then turned to Pots. Silver: "I think I got them to start looking for Auber now." The Metal man started to walk over to Gummy, then Kneeled down towards him. Silver: "Hey Gummy...I can talk to you, Just tell me what happened...I will keep you company." The Metal man frowned. Auber blinked, then goes to move his Vine in front of Letter Auber: "What's that Gummy?" Silver has set his 3DP to "Red" mode to keep him off Radar 

 GUMMY (LLA): Gummy pulled the letter closer to his body, "..it's shifter's letter to that Santa guy..." he paused another second, "You can't touch it..." Gummy squeezed the doll as though it were the real shifter, trying to protect it from the others in the room. he didn't want them, he wanted Shifter... but he sent him home... he sent Shifter home because... that's what Shifter wanted... because he had to be a good friend...

SilverKhaos, Mun of Chiller/Lit: Auber quickly recoiled back as they said it. "You Can't touch it" Auber: "S-sorry...I just wanted to be happy...I can show you My Letter if you want!" Silver sat across from Gummy, he was quite a bit Larger then Gummy, but he hoped that wouldn't bother him. Silver: "...What happened with Shifter?"

GUMMY (LLA): "...he's gone..."

 Pots: Pots slowly backs away as a faint smile crosses his face upon hearing gummy defend the letter. "You're a good friend to Shifter." Wait?  He's GONE?  What's that mean?  Nightmare made it sound like Shifter was alive. and why would gummy ask Pots to return the items if something bad happened? "You said he's gone.  How did that happen? it's okay.  You can tell us.  We promise we won't get mad. Right Silver?  Right Auber?"

 SilverKhaos, Mun of Chiller/Lit: Silver Nodded, But Auber got a bit scared Auber: "D-did he leave? I...wanted to play more games with him tho! He was a fun friend!" Silver frowned Silver: "I hope you just mean...like Gone from this Horror show...And not....dusted..." A Small Shiver coming from Silver the man when he said "Dusted" Auber didn't understand that term, and Silver was VERY thankful for that.

 Pots: Pots shudders when he hears the word 'dusted.'  "There was another flower here before you arrived.  From what he said, it sounded like it was the first thing."

 Pots: Seeing Gummy about to talk, Pots gets ready to cover Auber's ears if gummy starts straying in that direction too much in the next conversation

GUMMY (LLA): Gummy held the doll tighter, sniffling again,. "...he's gone... I..." gummy sniffed burying his face into the plush, holding onto the letter tightly. "I.... I sent him home... l-like he wanted...." Gummy gulped as he tried to breath, "...he... he forgot... he forgot everything.... I c-couldn't help him... I c-couldn't protect him..." his voice got quiet, " ... he couldn't see... a-and I.... I sent him home..." he sniffed, as he muffledly said, "...it'll fix him..."

 SilverKhaos, Mun of Chiller/Lit: Auber frowned as he heard They were gone. Auber: "It's Okay! You helped him, you made him Happy! You are a Good Friend! You know how to be a good friend! You have lived a Life...I always make my friends run when they see my teeth..." The Little flower was clearly dishearten to hear that Shifter left. The Flower unaware of the stuff Letep has done to Shifter and Gummy. Auber: "A-at least they are Safe now Right?" Silver smiled, clearly happy to hear that Shifter wasn't Dead. Then frowned. Silver: "...Gummy...you aren't a Bad friend, you did it to help him, even if it goes against what you want, that means the Lesson from Frisk is going to you, you are being a good person. I...don't know Shifter very well Personal, but I think he is happy he at least had you as a Friend while he was here. It could have been far worst, but you helped him along." The Metal Man removes his Silver Cap, showing his Normal, Human form. His Metallic Tone and Normal voice no longer having it's Normal echo to it. He looked like a Normal Human, just with a Strange Outfit, His hair was Dark Brown, his eyes green. Silver: "I know you care a lot for Shifter, Your actions prove that, but at least you know that he has a Friend in you...right?"

Pots: "You said 'You sent him home?' 'it'll fix him'?..."  Pots pauses for a moment, and then he approaches Gummy, with a slightly puzzled look on his face. "You... really did that for him?  E-even though you knew it'd make you sad, keeping him safe was more important to you. Y-you're truly a great friend. don't let anyone tell you otherwise.  Not even yourself, alright?"  paps Gummy.

GUMMY (LLA): Gummy didn't look, he refused to look. " ...I'll forget... I just..." he opened one of vines, showing the other piece of the return candy. "I want to go home..."

 SilverKhaos, Mun of Chiller/Lit: Silver wasn't sure what to say to this. Silver: "...Not gonna say going home wouldn't be good for you Gummy...but We could help you out some if you Stay...I have been to your world...as you well know...So...If you want, I could try and give you something to help you Remember Shifter Or anything else you just want...I'm...not perfect with that stuff...but me and Pots are Askers that want the Best for you...sadly...I look like most of the others..."

GUMMY (LLA): "...I want  to wake up..."

Pots: Pots noticed the candy.  "Is that...?"  He backs off from Gummy.  I-if this is what Gummy truly wants, who is Pots to stop it?  "Alright, Gummy.  I won't stop you."  Pots solemnly nods farewell to Gummy.

 GUMMY (LLA): Gummy sniffed, as he looked down at the candy, "...I....I... want the pain to go away..."

 SilverKhaos, Mun of Chiller/Lit: "...You are free to your own Choices...But We are here to Help you...We are your friends, even if you don't think we are...we...aren't gods who can Defend you from everything, but it doesn't mean we will not try our hardest to Help you." Silver (Human) frowned, then looked at Gummy. "I...can give you my Hat to help will help...but I don't know it will help much."

 GUMMY (LLA): Gummy brought the candy to his mouth, "....I'm g-going to forget.... I d-don't deserve to remember," gummy put the candy into his mouth biting into it. "...I don't get to have friends...." he swallowed... and Gummy was teleported. he was gone, the plush toy was on the ground. with the letter slowly floated to the ground.

 SilverKhaos, Mun of Chiller/Lit: Auber looked in Awe! Gummy was gone...In an Instant! The Little flower baby was sad now. Auber: "F-f-friend...is...gone now...W-why...are they gone?" The Little flower started to Break down into Tears. Auber: "B-b-but...I...he...he was s-sad..." The Little flower couldn't help it, one of his friends were gone, now another was taken right before his eyes. Silver frowned, then goes to put back his hat on his head, returning his Metal form, his Echo, his Sudden weight, coming back in a Flash of power. Then Silver papped Little Auber, trying to make him feel better, sighing. Silver: "...sorry Auber...He is gone...He had to go back home."

 Pots: "Goodbye... Gummy.  I'll get these back to Shifter, no matter what.  I promise." Pots puts all of Shifter's remaining items into his own inventory, until such a time as he can return them to their proper owner.  The dog plush, his music box, the bag of gummies, and the letter.He takes one last look at where Gummy had stood and waves a vine goodbye, before he begins to return to his own room.

Cookie Bun: *Quinton was still sitting in the hallways off the hotel, mainly because he had fallen asleep there.*

 Pots: But hearing Auber's tears, he couldn't simply abandon him.  He had seen enough tears for one night.  There would not be another Gummy tonight. not on his watch!  Pots heads back to Auber and pets the tiny flower.

SilverKhaos, Mun of Chiller/Lit: The Small flower was papped and Petted Auber: "A-a-are they safe at l-least?" The Little flower hugged them both with his weak, small Vines. Silver takes out his 3DP, and blinked Silver: "...oh well then...Letep and Marey sent....a long Video...Labeled "We're Sorry." You...think it's safe to come back now that Gummy...is...gone?"

Pots: "Y-yes.  T-they're safe now.  Daddy and I will make sure nobody bad hurts them after this, okay?"  Pots at least hopes this is true.  But there's still a few days left before Silver and Pots can actually leave this village.  What if somethign happened to them in the meantime?  "Yeah.  I think it's safe to do that now."  Pots checks his 3DP.  Apparently it's completely out of power.  He'll need to recharge it when he gets back to his own room.  Accidentally recording the events in the bar must have taken a lot out of it.

SilverKhaos, Mun of Chiller/Lit: Silver smiled "W-well...you want to see Mom and Dad Auber?" Auber hugged Pots closer as He then let go. Auber: "O-o-okay..." Silver got free of Auber's Grip, then did a new message.

 Pots: "awwwwww"Pots was ready to head back to his room.   He glanced at silver to make sure it was okay for him to leave first though.

SilverKhaos, Mun of Chiller/Lit: Silver nodded

 Pots: Pots leaves Gummy's old room and glances towards Marey's room, making sure the door is fully shut.  He notices Quinton in the hallway. He is curious if he's awake yet, but first he needs to relocate Shifter's possessions to a safer location in his own room.  After that is done, he approaches Quinton.

 SilverKhaos, Mun of Chiller/Lit: Silver nodded, then goes to hold Auber close. "Alright...let's go see mom and dad..." Auber nodded, wiping their tears, heading towards their room. 

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[bmyselfandi-blog]

mom

there was a time in my life where the hardest thing i was going through was a high school breakup. i thought the world was ending, that id never experience a worse heartbreak than that one. i got over it and went back to the guy a few times. it was on and off. that was the beginning of my junior year, around september. come april 21st i received the worst news i could have handled at the time. my mom was diagnosed with cancer. now she never really told us, well at least me, she never told me the stage of the cancer. but it was rectal. they tell you not to look up that kind of shit because it will scare you but me, i dont listen when told not to do something. now, i probably should have, it scared me what i found, but also gave me hope. it said curable. they said long life span. so, in my mind it was all going to be okay. my dad took it very hard. i poften found him crying alone, and i cried too. we all did. my mom was the type of person to help anyone in need, she was amazing, loving, wonderful, generous, warm, any fucking word to describe an angel, that was fucking her. still is. anyways fast forward about a year, end of my senior year. i start dating this new guy, hes amazing, he gave me the world. i couldnt have asked for a better man. stuck by my side through some fucked up shit that was my fault. we had our fights, like every couple. he did some things that i didnt like but i pushed past it because i loved him. thats what couples do right? well, not even a year later i spent less time with my family, more time with him and his. i regret that every day of my life. ill never forget the first day of my new job my dad made me cry because he told me my mom thought id rather spend time with my boyfriends mom than her. i balled my eyes out on my way to work. i never wanted to hurt my moms feelings like that. she couldnt do much, she was weak and it was getting harder for her to do everyday things. that was november. come march 25. it was a saturday. my mom was sitting in her spot on the couch and my dad was downstairs on the computer. i dont remember my sister being home. my mom asked me to look at her eyes and tell me what color the whites were, they were yellow. that meant jaundice. i told my dad, we told her she needed to go to the hospital. she said she didnt feel well and didnt want to go that day and if she wasnt feeling any better shed go the next day. i didnt think too much about it, this wouldnt be the first hospital trip that month or let alone that year. sunday; i went to my boyfriends to hangout and have dinner. after dinner my dad told and said they were going to the hospital. we then drove up to meet them. they took my mom in the back, i went back with her as did everyone else. the crazy thing is, is i dont remember all too much. i remember being back h=there, them asking her certain questions that made me sad, like if she was sad, depressed, thinking about dying. i brought her up some things when we went, i had this pair of ankle fuzzy sicks that i gave to her, she asked me to put them on her feet, i remember there being a hole in the big toe, she thought it was funny. it got later, they ended up admitting her but were trying to find a room. my dad had to work the next morning and i hadnt started my new job so i told him i would stay with her that night so she wasnt alone. they had a room in the pediatric ward so they sent us up. there were two cribs, a bed and a couple chairs in the room. i slept in the chair that turned into a bed. the nurses were very nice. we got some rest after being moved up there. it was very late, almost 4am. the next morning my uncle was up there and my dad came soon after as well. days went by, i started my new job, id go up as soon as i got off to go and see her. she got worse each day but we didnt think anything of it. turns out the tumor was actually starting to quickly crush her liver. she started not being able to talk well. they eventually put her on a heavy breathing treatment. she stopped talking and responding. my dad asked a timeline and the doctor said he didnt like to put timelines. i thought she would get better. they had my dad sign a DNR, we werent going to make her suffer if she didnt have to. it was selfish of us to want her to stay with how much pain i knew she was in. we had family up there always. april 4th. it was a wednesday. by now they had put my mom into hospice care, we had the option of bringing her home but we didnt want to make her uncomfortable by moving her. they gave us the whole room we were in. 315 bed B. we had people come and talk to us about urns and getting things like that. a hospice worker told us that their phone line was always available to talk on, whether it was a week later or a year later. i didnt have workbthat day. i went up to the hospital early. my moms cousin Colleen was there. my boyfriend came up as well. my dad my sister and her cousin kim came up as well. we hung out all day. i told colleen i probably wouldnt end up going to this festival i had in may because i wanted to be there everyday for my mom. colleen said that was almost 2 months away and that my mom may not be here by then. i didnt want to think about that. my mom would always be here right? that night me and my boyfriend ordered chinese. we were going to pick it up but they had delivery. we were also supposed to go to the store but we decided not to for some reason i dont remember. we ate our nasty chinese food. i got shrimp and lobster sauce, my moms favorite. we were all sitting aruond talking. my dad had ran home to let the dogs out since no one had been home in a while. anytime he would leave the room for anything longer than a half hour he would hug my mom and tell her to wait for him. he left. he got to the house. he let the dogs house. we were sitting there when my boyfriend looked over at my mom. her eyes were open. they hadnt been open in days. we instantly went over to her. her cousin got the nurse. me and my sister held her hand. i called my dad crying. all i could muster out was the word “hurry” and the pain in his voice when he said “okay” was enough to break anyones heart. the nurses knew. we all knew. i held my moms hand crying. my boyfriend rubbed my back. i told her i loved her. my sister told her she loved her. kim consoled her. we knew her fight was over. kim closed my moms eyes and like that she was gone. it was 10:15. we had to wait for a doctor to pronounce time of death. time of death was 10:25. my dad got there, tears in his eyes. we called family to tell them. his best friend was up in a heartbeat. his brother came up. i called my best friends. sarah and her boyfriend were up within minutes. my boyfriend held me. everyone cried. my dad hugged me and my sister so tight. the nurses were wonderful and sweet. it was probably 3 something in the morning when we left. i said my final goodbyes and told her i loved her. how could i just leave my mom in this room all alone? i couldnt handle it. i drove home with my boyfriend and let my dad drive alone. i dont know why i did that. i should have went with him. we got home and i couldnt tell you anything after that. i dont remember much about the days that followed. i know the next day we had to make phone calls to change things into our names and take my moms off. we received lots of “im so sorry for you loss”’s. it got sickening. we got flowers, cards, food. my boyfriends family was so helpful. i took that friday off of work and went back monday. got a lot of sorrys there too. her memorial was friday the 13th. i worked that morning. i shouldnt have but i had to go on like normal. how do you just go on like normal? how do you just up and live without your best friend, your fucking mother? she was supposed to be there through everything. she was supposed to live a long happy life with my dad. she was supposed to watch me get married and watch my have her grandchildren. she was supposed to be free of cancer and get better and live happy and healthy. she wasnt supposed to die. she should still fucking be here today. but shes not. months later, not even a year. my boyfriend and i broke up. just shy of a year since her passing, march 2nd. my friend and i had a run in with my ex. she flipped him off while we were driving. he followed us to the gas station and cussed us out. later that night he posted a story on his snapchat. black screen with the words “ your mother would be ashamed of you” written on it. directed towards me. how dare he say that shit. how could the same man that held me while i held my dying mothers hand say some dumb fucking shit like that to me? i dont quite get how he could ever in a million years say that shit. she was liuke amother to him. he was there through everything we dealt with, all the grieving, the sadness and depression in my house. but what bothers me is how a few months later we were getting back together. and how i could forgive him for saying that. i never did forgive him and i dont think i ever will. he said he posted it to hurt me because he was hurt. but how could he stoop that low. later on he brought her up again when he wanted me to stop smoking. “ how would mom feel” i tried kicking him out, ive never yelled at him before until that night, i got in his face and screamed not to talk about my dead mom. he didnt again. we stopped talking about a month later and havent talked since. he never understood what i was going through. what i am going through. i cry a lot. i miss my mom everyday. i think about her every hour of the day. my dad texts her almost every day. he posts on her facebook sometimes. i text her sometimes. i call too to see if someone new has her number. its still disconnected. i dont want someone new to have her number. thats her fucking number. no one elses. i still dont feel like this is all real and here its been a year and a half. christmas is coming up. her birthday is christmas eve. it was her favorite time of the year. we held the party at our house very year for anyone who wanted to come. it was always a full house. everyone loved my mom, she was an amazing person. a family friends words describing my mother to someone were “she had to adjust her halo when walking into a room” and thats always been true. even now, im sure she visits often. i wish so bad that she could be here, that she could see how everything is going. i miss her so fucking much and i just want my fucking mom back. i know everything in life would be okay if she was here. i know it would solve every problem me and my family have if she was just fucking here. she should be here. she should fucking be here right now. 

[thehando-a]

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE

name: okuyasu nijimura

eye colour: brown !

hair style/colour: black on the top, lighter grey on the bottom

height: 5′ 10″ / 178cm

clothing style: almost exclusively the uniform he wears in canon, unwashed, for days on end. if not that, simple colored tank - tops and sweatpants.

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

your fears: there’s large, conceptual ones like losing the people he loves, and making serious decisions without help. however, also many other small, nigh childish ones: dark rooms, scary pictures, the like.

your guilty pleasure: this man is a foodie. he eats lots

your biggest pet peeve: okuyasu has a very short fuse so.... anything, in spans of minutes, can become a petpeeve

your ambitions for the future: if im to be honest? okuyasu doesnt have any specific ones. the money he saved from the lottery will, inevitably, end up most likely going towards whatever he can to help his dad, and just settling by in morioh. most likely, due to his grades, he wont get an exuberant job that pays lots. and most definitely, hell never go back to bigger cities, like tokyo or S. City. ( not that he particularly wants to ). whether or not he realizes it early, he will most definitely settle to be, if anything, a busboy/dishwasher with tonio.

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

your first thoughts waking up: first thought? five more minutes. then its something like o! gotta feed dad n cat! and then its lamentation of having to go to school.

what you think about most: most of the time? he’s thinking about the coming weekend and what plans hell have. usually? none.

what you think about before bed: he might, if anything, consider what he had for homework, but if anything, hell replay the day that had just happened.

you think your best quality is: lets just say hes very.... HUMBLE. lmao, im not sure -- theres no definitive feature hed point out as ! this is the best ! he’d definitely, if anything, say his best quality is his The Hando!!!

WHAT’S BETTER?

single or group dates: hed be much better off on group dates. a double date perhaps?.

to be loved or respected: :thonk:

beauty or brains: shrug.

dogs or cats: he's the badboy you see handling stray cats around town.... realistically tho... hes partial to doggies…..

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU…

lie: oku would never

believe in yourself: his fighting prowess? he’s sure of. but in terms of mental capacity? never

believe in love: he believes in the truest love.

want someone: tfw no gf. 

LAYER SIX: EVER BEEN…

been on stage: never.

done drugs: he would try smoking once. but then cough up a lung n decide never again

changed who you were to fit in: no thats dumby

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

favourite colour: gold

favourite animal: dogs ! dogs ! dogs!.

favourite movie: the rocky movies? would be his absolute favorite. he wants to, its his dream, to Be Rocky..

favourite game: super smash bros!!!!!!!!!! whichever one came out in the middle of the buttfuck 80s 

LAYER EIGHT: AGE

day your next birthday will be: oct 2 (i couldnt find a date so i just chose one in libra szn... if yall know lmk U_U).

how old will you be: 17!

age you lost your virginity: no

does age matter: i don’t get it. ( this question sucks)

LAYER NINE: IN A PERSON

best personality: someone who can deal with a temper, and also doesnt make him all annoyed n riled up. as long as theyre just. generally nice and decent and good?!!

best eye colour: doesn’t matter.

best hair colour: doesn’t matter.

best thing to do with a partner: okuyasu straight up just wants to have a milkshake with someone (and then steal the entire thing and bring it to his side of the table)

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE

i love: food.

i feel: angery.

i hide: definitely from his past.

i miss: mother / brother.

i wish: that he still had his family. TAGGED BY:  @heartshredded MY MEME DEALER!!!!!!!

[briefbouquetcreatorlove-blog]

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What insurance plans are available in Hawaii?

How much would insurance cost for me?

i'm an 18 yr old female driving a 86' camaro

Does a roommate have to be on my car insurance in Fl?

I rented a room to a lady with no car she is going for a.Florida drivers license soon she moved here from another state where she had a drivers license. Am I required to put her on my car insurance?

If the law didn't require you to buy car insurance...?

how many people would buy car insurance?

State farm car insurance question?

My bf was in an accident recently where he was rear ended at a stop light. The other driver was ticketed and no one is contesting the fact that the other driver is at fault. My bf decided to go through the other driver's insurance (state farm) rather than his own so that he wouldn't have to pay a deductible. He needs about $600 worth of body work done. After going through all the hoops, he was told to take the car to a local body shop & that he would be approved for a rental car while it was being repaired. Today, he took the car to the shop, but they told him they won't take it until March 21st (about 3 weeks from now). Until then, they expect him to drive his DAMAGED car. He drives long distances pretty frequently (usually visits me an hour and a half away every week or two) and neither of us are comfortable with the idea of him getting on the interstate in a damaged car. What recourse does he have in this situation? It seems pretty unfair that the accident was someone else's fault entirely and he is going to be stuck waiting almost a month to be put whole again :( I suggested that he call state farm and let them know that he's not satisfied with their solution, but he doesn't think it will get him anywhere. Does anyone have experience with this sort of thing? Thoughts in general?""

lease insurance quote

lease insurance quote

Do I still have to pay car insurance if....?

This is probably a really stupid question, but I'm sixteen, so please just answer... I've had my permit since last September. I've practiced, but my parents won't let me get my license because they can't afford the car insurance. We only have one car anyway. Well, say I were to register a motor vehicle, such as a 50cc moped, which only requires a basic license to use. Would I still have to pay car insurance for my family car if I don't drive it, AND a moped? Or can I stick to paying the motor bike insurance instead? I'm sorry, it's such a stupid question, but I don't know much more about car insurance other than the fact that we can't afford it. Thank you. (:""

Wat is the best small car and cheap on insurance?

Wat is the best small car and cheap on insurance?

Will I be able to get health insurance to cover this?

I am about to graduate from college and have not been covered by insurance regularly in many years, for a short time I was on a California county-supported low-income type of insurance program but it automatically runs out every few months if you don't reapply evidently... Anyways, I'm about to graduate and move back to Oregon. I have some kind of hip/tendon injury that I need to go to the doctor for and have checked out...but because I don't have insurance, and this is an old injury already, is there any way I'm going to find health insurance to help me pay for this? Or am I just completely screwed and destined to limp around for the rest of my life??? because there's no forseeable way that I'll be able to afford my own health care any time soon, I'll be paying off my student loans for the next few years. I also doubt that I will be able to find a job that offers health coverage in my field so that's not looking very likely either.""

Does a Seat Belt Ticket in California increase insurance?

If I have to report a seat belt ticket to insurance, because i am using traffic school for a stop sign ticket, How much will my insurance go up by. I am 17 and I have ameriprise insurance for my car. PLease help also if i will not have a car or drive in college should i just lose my insurance or keep it for 4 years with a perfect record.""

National Insurance number for a teen..?

Ok, I am not a citizen of UK but I have been living for a few years. British citizens get their number automatically when they turn 16. I turn 16 this February, so when should I apply, I want to get a job as soon as I turn 16 ? And what is the application proccess like ? Am I even eligible for it ?""

Does anyone know where I could get some affordable dental insurance?

I'm on disability and my job doesnt offer benefits.

Approximately how much does it cost to bond and insure a sole-proprietorship pressure washing business?

Approximately how much does it cost to bond and insure a sole-proprietorship pressure washing business?

Auto insurance ????????

Is it cheap being on my dads auto insurance vs me buying my own. I thinking about getting rid of full coverage.

Renters insurance cant get homeonwers?

im about to payoff my mobile home and own it but i cant get homeonwers insurance since i own my mobile home could i just get renters insurance and protect my belogings inside my trailer. keep in mind in paying a month lot rent fee for my trailer to sit on someone elses property.

Will my insurance be cheaper if my dad keeps my car in his name?

So my dad is giving me a car, he got a few insurance quotes but they are as high as $600. If my dad keeps the car in his name and just adds me as a driver will my insurance be cheaper? Please help!!!""

No buisness car insurance?

been caught without buisness insurance on car while delivering.only have domestic, social pleasure e.t.c.i have to go to police station with drivers license and insurance certificate.i currently have no points on my license. what is likely to happen?court, then points and fine?what type of fine?thanks""

Insurance for teen when borrowing parents car?

My parents and i are very confused on whether I need to put on my parents insurance policy since i am technically borrowing their car. All of the people my parents have talked to have said that i don't and that they never did for their kids and it was fine. When my mom called about my sister they told her that she HAD to be put on their policy and that I could not receive my license until I was put on the policy. I am 16 and my sister is 18 and it would cost around $750 per month more to insure us. Do we need it if we are borrowing my parents car? Thanks:)

17 cheap car insurance??

i live in the u.k im searching for car insurance for when i get my car does anyone no any car insurance companys that do cheap car insurance for my age or comparing sites. iv already tried compare the market and confussed.com links would be amazing thanks guys X

Can I get cash instead of repairs for my auto insurance claim?

The damage to the car is from hail and I've already received an appraisal but I would like to know if I can get a check from my insurance company instead of getting the repairs done. Basically, do I have to spend the money on repairs or can I keep it?""

Car Insurance in England question?

If I am insured but I drive another car (included on policy) but that car is not insured by owner will ANPR pick up car has no insurance and do I commit offense? And if I am not insured but drive a car that is insured by owner does it come up on ANPR as being insured and therefore I wont get caught? Is the driver insured or the car???

Why is my insurance so high?

So I am 21 years old working part time as a supervisor with a certain big brown shipping company. I am making decent money, and was, at the time, driving a really high mileage 1998 explorer that got terrible MPG and was nickle and dimeing me to death, so I decided to go look for a new car. The car I found, was a 2011 Suzuki Kizashi S. It had really high safety ratings, the car itself was in very good condition (the previous owner was a little old lady who I actually got to meet because her nephew was the car salesman I bought it from, who even brought me all of the paperwork on the maintenance she had - impeccable maintenance record I might add), and the average highway mpg, is double that of my explorer. However, I made a mistake of not confirming what my insurance rate would change to when I called State Farm over the phone to have my coverage changed to the new vehicle, and now here I am paying triple what I did for the explorer. I don't get it, how does a little 4 door sedan w/ awesome safety ratings and all that jazz cost me $224 a month to insure, but a 4WD fully loaded explorer, in Colorado, that I had since I was 17, was only like $63 a month. I mean, I understand that a vehicle that isn't paid off yet is going to have higher insurance thanks to the lender requiring full coverage, but I don't know ANYONE around my age paying this much except for a guy I work with who drives an Acura and got a massive ticket for going a buck 20 in a 45 speed zone and now pays like 350 a month. Is there something particular about this car that I wasn't aware of? It's a great car, but the huge insurance cost is really hurting what I'd planned to be able to afford per month on top of my other bills.""

Insurance question plz help?

Im wanna go to school to be a lvn but at the school i wanna go to u have to have malpractice insurance. What is malpractice insurance and how much does it cost

How much would car insurance cost for a Chevrolet Corvette C6 ZR1?

-I'M using the information for a spreadsheet and to get an idea of how much it costs to insure a modern day Corvette because I'M planning to get a Corvette Some Day . -An estimate is also fine thankz

Car insurance from another country?

is it legal or can it be done..? if i live in the UK can i join a French / German / Spanish car insurance firm in there own country's,and still drive on British roads? im sick to death of paying over the odds prices in this corrupt country its a joke . been driving for 12 years with no claims and they still want 1.500 for a 1.3 brava. so is it my human right to choose one from another country..?? bit like the woman landlord ordering the football from another country cheers""

Will my Auto Insurance Rates go up?

I just got my first speeding ticket and i was going 9 miles over the speed limit. it was 35 and i was going 44. will my auto insurance rate go up after im done paying the ticket off. i heard you can take a traffic school to get the points taken off your license. will it still make my insurance go up ?

Just curious.......How many of you have no health insurance but.......?

.......have cell phones, satellite TV, Wii's and games, smoke or drink. Since the average cost of a family plan is about $3600.00 per year, just wondering if you realized you could buy your own health insurance with the money you spend on these things. I am curious why luxuries would be more important to you than getting health insurance.""

Insurance in the state of GEORGIA!!!!?

In GA can u get car insurance wit a suspended license.... if so where?

What is the purpose of insurance?

What is the purpose of insurance?

What is the most popular insurance in troy missouri?

What is the most popular insurance in troy missouri? Is there a service/website to where i can find this info and info like that? What kind of insurance is mostly used in certain areas?

Auto insurance. please help me. =)?

I'm sixteen and i just got a truck. it's a 1977 dodge pick up 4x4. i can't drive it without insurance and i don't know where to get my insurance from. i've tried getting online quotes and stuff and it didn't work. anybody know a good insurance company with a plan that covers the basic stuff i need just so i can drive my truck?? thanks. =)

lease insurance quote

lease insurance quote

How does rbs insurance differentiate itself from it's competitors?

Hi, I'm filling out an internship form, and I'm stuck on this question.. Please help me! Thank you""

I was driving without proof of insurance.?

The cop pulled me over for speeding but did not cite me on that charge. He just cited me a fix it ticket for not having proof of insurance in my car. I am insured and have a card to prove it. I am a minor in California. Will I have to go to court on my date or can I do it earlier? What will happen to my record? What will I have to go through? thanks

Cheapest car for insurance?

My parents have agreed to get me a car, but the insurance has to be cheap. We have allstate and i have no idea what the cheapest car would be to get, insurance wise. thanks for any help!""

""Can someone give me an idea of how much car insurance is for a mazda 6, 2006 honda civic sedan, or coupe?""

I'm getting my car soon, but i don't want make a decision until i get an idea of how much the insurance on these cars are. Thanks!""

Auto Insurance for a non-owner in Michigan?

My son, who has never had a ticket or any violations at all, does not own a vehicle. He will occasionally drive my vehicle. I live in Ohio and have insurance on the car in Ohio. Is that ok? Does he also need to maintain some type of coverage in Michigan. I do not see that Michigan has something like a non-owner policy if you do not have any violations and are not required to have the SR22 policy.""

Infiniti g37????????

I'm 19 and I'm getting an used 2007 Infiniti for $12000 yayy ive been driving for a year with no tickets or anything! how much would my insurance cost? I live by myself in Virginia far away from parents just with my gf so don't even rely on my parents..

How much would my car insurance be?

I'm looking to buy another car. I would really like a BMW or a VW, years like 1996 to 2004. I'm thinking like a 3 series BMW or a passat or jetta. I know these are typically nicer cars thus insurance would be higher, though some people claim they're cheaper because they're more safe. Anyway, how high are we talking here? I don't need an exact number but a decent estimate would really help so I don't buy a nice car and find out I can't afford the insurance. I'm an 18 year old guy, I have NO tickets of any sort, no accidents, I commute about 20 miles to college, iv been licensed for over a year, I took drivers education. I'm under my own name not my parents so my insurance is astronomical cause I'm an 18 year old guy. Please help.""

""Compare car insurance with health insurance, car insurance is a law, health insurance isn't why?""

car insurance is a law right? and I know a lot of people that have a very difficult time paying car insurance since it's so high, but it seems like insurance companies are making a lot of money, NOW how can we compare that to health insurance if it became a law to have to have it. You would hope that health insurance would be more affordable since more people are putting money into the pot right, but I am afraid but it being a law, the rich (insurance companies will get richer) and raise the cost of health insurance since it's a law. Maybe our solution would be to have our government give us tax breaks on health insurance premiums and some how get more for our money with health insurance. It's sad that you have to spend $500.00 a month for health insurance but still have to pay office visits and wait 6 months for preexisting problems. Maybe the solution is to have better health insurance options, right? Isn't that what McCain wants?""

Best place to Compare Car Insurance Quotes Online?

Is there a site where I can compare car insurance quotes or where I can compare what's offered by several car insurance companies? There's a huge difference in car insurance quotes depending on the provider you use and what level of cover you want and obviously I do not want to pay more than I have to. I searched for car insurance comparison sites but there are a lot to choose from and a lot more still where you just enter general stats like age and area, so can someone save me some time and let me know of a good website where I can compare car insurance quotes that are exact to my circumstances. Thanks!""

What is the difference between being forced to buy health insurance vs. being forced to buy car insurance?

In my state we are forced to have car insurance or we will be fined. I know that having the government intervene more in our health insurance seems like more of a step in a socialism direction but were we already going that direction anyway with car insurance AND we did already have medicare and medicaid. This reform does not seem like anything more than insurance reform and medicare/medicaid reform. It is not as radical as it could be: http://healthreform.kff.org/SubsidyCalculator.aspx The government subsidies are not even that good. People making around 30-50k still have to pay $200-300 a month for healthcare and now they are actually being FORCED to do it no matter what. The government will only help with $500 per year of that total bill. I am a conservative...BUT why is this so bad? Dont we really need healthcare reform because the way it is going it looks like in 10 more years nobody will be able to afford insurance period if things were left the way they were (it has gone up 100% in the last 10 years). Change can be good sometimes. Everyone needs to calm down.

Car insurance question?

Originally I registered my car insurance with my previous address. Now I've moved to a new place, do I require to update the address? What happen if I don't update the address and continuously using my previous address as registered?""

How much will Car insurance cost me??? PLEASE HELP!?

I am a 20 year old female. I didn't complete high school, but I will get my GED and go to school next fall. I'm getting a car this Feb when taxes come back and I'm buying no more then a good decent $3000 car. I have a child too so I heard that helps bring the insurance down a little. Because the car will be under my name, & I am the ONLY driver in this house hold so there will be only 1 person on the insurance, how much do u think I could be paying a month??? Any guess for wage? I want full coverage but if its more then 300 a month i will go half. I've had my permit to since I was 17, no accidents. Please help.""

Ticket for no license and no insurance?

I'm 17 and I got a ticket for not having a license or permit, failure to yield to an emergency vehicle and no insurance in California. How deep will this ticket dig into my pockets? Over $500? Big thanks if you can help me out.""

How to appeal declining application on Health insurance?

I just received letter from Blue Shield of California on my recent application for health coverage, I am asking for any suggestion on appeal and my rights in this process. My COBRA is running out, and this recent application took 2 months before they turned me down. I considered myself fairly healthy other than a monthly low dosage cholesterol prescription. Any help or suggestion is appreciated.""

Urgent care? Do I need insurance?

So I really need to go to urgent care but will they even look at me if I tell them I don't have insurance and don't even have a job...? I would go to the hospital... But like I said... I have no insurance and no job.

Can my mom insure my vehicle?

I want to buy a newly used car and i will have a loan on it. I wanted to know if the loan and the title are all in my name, would my mom be able to insure it in her name and me just as a driver? im under 25 so my insurance would be extra high. and would i have to register it in her name at DMV to let her insure it?""

Can I put my mom in my health insurance?

Can I put my mom in my health insurance?

How to appeal declining application on Health insurance?

I just received letter from Blue Shield of California on my recent application for health coverage, I am asking for any suggestion on appeal and my rights in this process. My COBRA is running out, and this recent application took 2 months before they turned me down. I considered myself fairly healthy other than a monthly low dosage cholesterol prescription. Any help or suggestion is appreciated.""

Insurance quetsion?

i was in a accident totally the other drivers fault (she admitted to it). my car has damaged front bumper and headlight along with other stuff around those parts. it looks like nothing major. i went to the hospital one time they said i had my muscles and ligaments in my neck strectched. im trying to found out is that enough medical trips for me to get a rather decent settlement. im nt able to go to the doctor because i work all the time an i cant take time off or i will be fired. her insurance is state farm. on the average how much can i get???(pain and suffering)

How will i know which insurance group my car belongs to in UK?

is there a website to find car insurance group?

Would Obama charge the military for Health Care?

So I see all this Healthcare debate going on, But what does that mean for the Military? I know its gonna cause the operating budget to be cut of course. But would we have to start ...show more""

What is the best but most cost-efficient insurance for a 22year old male driver who just got his license?

Used, older car (either 1990 honda or 1995 toyota). Just got his license. Want decent insurance but not outrageously price. Any help greatly appreciated - thanks!""

I need help with my car insurance?

Middle aged female (mid fifties), have had comprehensive car insurance 8 years no claim but current insurers now charging me nearly 500/annum.Insurance runs out 30th october 08. Any suggestions for cheap car insurance companies (in England please) for Honda Accord V Tec (W Reg). Thanks""

What would be considered cheap for a new driver's auto insurance?

Also, what would be considered average or too high? Any car really, just focusing on the pricing at the moment for a ballpark estimate.""

Does a Seat Belt Ticket in California increase insurance?

If I have to report a seat belt ticket to insurance, because i am using traffic school for a stop sign ticket, How much will my insurance go up by. I am 17 and I have ameriprise insurance for my car. PLease help also if i will not have a car or drive in college should i just lose my insurance or keep it for 4 years with a perfect record.""

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lease insurance quote

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/does-having-years-claims-moped-lower-car-insurance-charles-taylor/"

[ryanjamessalmon]

16/01/2018 - 3:42am - beautiful

how do you make a difference in a Life. how do you possibly fulfil such a futile desire to change the world

i dont think im that different from other people. we’re all organs held together by muscle and bone with blue blood that keeps us all alive. I remember when i found out that blood is actually blue and its only when you get cut and the blood reacts with the oxygen in the open air that it turns red. The explanation was cool i remember, but i wasnt surprised by it bc there were plenty of times where i could see the subtle blue lines on the inside part of my wrist where my arm becomes my hand. so when i heard that the blood thats inside of our bodies is blue it made sense. My blood is the same color as whoever may be reading this. different dna, different blood types, different a lot of shit but when it comes down to it how different are we? All of us, i mean. Man, short for human, not indicative of any kind of gender or whether or not you have a dick. When i say man, i mean human, so all of you who are sitting with you finger on the trigger ready to say how my perspective is flawed based off of irelevent by-thoughts in this post, chill.

Do you want to be somebody or do you want to die without anyone remembering who you are after youre gone? there are people that have the world’s attention and you sit at home on youre computer watching other people’s lives because youres is exceptionally unextrodinary. I dream of people looking at me and deciding that they can do anything. I see myself as someone other kids watch interviews of and feel as if I am the only one who sees what they mean. How do you reach that kind of notoriety? what do you have to do to be somebody? If youre looking for the answer youre looking in the wrong place, but i feel like the fact that you stumbled across this post is a good sign. I cant tell you what you have to do to quench the longing for an impactful Life, but i can tell you that youre only gonna find it looking inward.

Theres a lot going on in the world these days is what it seems like, but at the same time when is there not a lot going on? 100 years ago cars were revolutionizing travel, black people couldnt sit in certain locations if white people didnt want them to, Women were “seen as equals” but they weren't allowed to have a say in any kind of decision on a national scale. I’m not about to research the late 1910′s to paint a vivid picture of what was going on, but the point is that the feeling of being a very small fish in a world sized pond was probably not that far off from what im feeling now. If you let me sit until i think of something i can do to be somebody on a global scale then I’ll die before i stand. Jesus did it. DaVinci did it. Its possible, ya know. but to be honest to impact the world is overrated. No one ever appreciates you until you die and even though lots of people will be impacted by your Life, you never get to meet these people. You dont get to know them and know how there Life was before compared to how their Life was after you came into it.

Its the connection, the feeling of being something more than a common face that people want. The chance to give someone else what they might not ever know by themselves. But you dont have to be famous to be somebody. you dont have to do anything extraordinary for humanity, or create something that changes culture. The man that gives the 25 year old an investment so he can start his own business is somebody to that 25 year old. the grocery store clerk who doesnt ring up the 5 packages of diapers for a struggling single mother is somebody to that mom. because theres more than one way to make an impact and be somebody. you dont have to have any skill. no special talent required. A single gesture can make you a main character in somebody’s Life. To change the world is an often sought dream that is never the journey anticipated. but to change a Life; to give another living person, no different from yourself, something that they wouldnt have otherwise can make a difference in their Life. It wont be as glorifying as the feeling that youre after but its better because it real. Its a real feeling of making a difference. this isnt the feeling of working at a nonprofit or a soup kitchen. The kind of impact im talking about it personal connection. Human to human, raw emotion. being the savior of someone’s Life. Just by being there for someone when they are burning out at rock bottom, you have the power to change the course of someone’s Life. and this isnt a feel good empowerment speech with the intention of getting you to go donate all your clothes to a thrift store or any disney hypebeast bs. Its not a simple answer, its not me pushing the idea that a simple kind gesture can change someone’s Life, becasue thats not the truth. Even if i could perfectly itterate into one sentence what im trying to say 99% of people wouldnt be paying attention when they read it so my intention isnt to give you a solution or change of heart. When it boils down to it this is my thoughts on a monday night when i should be sleeping. Its 4:30am now. so when i close my laptop and plug it in for the night and i get back in bed, as i lay down waiting for my mind to slow its roll, i’ll be thinking about what Lives ive impacted in the 21 years ive been here. who have i really made a difference to? 

even if its to just one person, i wanna be somebody

[somedaypast-thesunset]

i did not need his negativity yesterday nor did i have the mental strength to not be affected by it. 

he seems to have a rose colored view on his past friends who have lived even more passively than i have while doing hard drugs, drinking and having sex with so many partners that diseases are spread among them. but yet i’m told i’m just a welfare case, that i should just get over it, try harder etc. but there is never ever an admission that perhaps the troubles ive had in life directly relate to the struggles i still have now. 

“well her mother was crazy so she had to leave at 15 and take care of herself”

??? my mother was crazy and my father was sick and i had to take care of myself and him. without giving into the temptation of an easy escape through literal hallucinations. i am better than everyone who did give into the temptation. my will is stronger. sorry. that might bother him because he is a drug user. and he wans to convince me that my weed smoking is comparable to people shooting drugs. and it simply is not in any way. i am a functioning member of society in so much that i do not have a drug den, i do not have needles around, i do not have any long term physial effects of drug use im just a fucking stoner. just like people who HAVE to buy starbucks everyday. theyre just basic bitches. theyre not coffee addicts. and he trappe the conversation - all addicts say this. but i am making a choice and it would be incredibly easy for me to make other choices if i felt they were worth it in my depression. i am ADDICTED to DEPRESSION. i do not control that addiction and it is harmful to people around me and myself.

me smoking a joint is not. me smoking a joint is only beneifical to not only myself but the people around me. i am alive today right now because i smoke weed. THAT is how i am “strong”. 

it didnt matter though. i was already spiraling and wanted to go home but knew i couldnt because it was cold and almost midnight and i didnt even have proper boots and the weight of my entire life and being began crushing me. 

these are panic attacks. these are not attacks which can be seen as the typical display of it but not everyone will hyperventilate into a paper bag. my parents called it an asthma attack because i wasnt breathing right. i wasnt allowed to act out. if i acted out my mother attacked me in such severe ways that i trained myself not to react to anything. but you cant do hthis you cant just be a robot forever your emotions will operate whether you acknowlege them or not.

so it builds. and during the build up which always happens the same way my thoughts are spiraling. if someone latches on to a brief idea of the issues im battling inside, it now solidified the thought and i start to panic. it wasnt being called a drug addict. it was the fact that im constantly put on the bottom of the list for like existing human beings. no one ever goes, ‘well you had to take care of your father’. i dont get that. why? am i not blonde and cute enough? did i not suck enough dick? should i have done drugs and been more pathetic? why is it that everyone else gets a ‘well this and this happened tot hem so is understandable’. for me it’s literally well you cant focus on your past you just gotta move on. it’s not fair, it’s frustrating and when it comes from the only person even giving you any sort of love at that moment in time, it feels trapping. deal with this or have nothing. 

i cannot explain this though. it starts here and by the time i’ve freaked out so hard i cant even communicate the intricacies of these thoughts. i’m now totally overwhelmed and i want to scratch out my eyes and tear out my hair and i’m sobbing so hard i cannot breathe. 

i told him he outright had to help me because he did not listen to my warnings that what he was saying was bothering me. because i told him i didn need that negativity right now and i didn’t nee him focusing on being a  “drug addict” because i dont spend my rent money on shooting drugs. i dontand thats not part of my problem. it’s just a matter of opinion regarding marijuana. period. my opinion differs greatly and i advocate for the VERY PROVEN medical benefits of it. not just “its been shown K helps depression”. so does lsd. so did lsd. so much so that people dosed other people unknowingly to try and “help” them becuase they thought lsd “helped them” and “opened their mind”. but shold you do LSD everyday? no. i really dont think you should. can you ingest something that has minimal effects on a normally healthy person with no pre desposition to mental health issues everday? yes. cancer patients smoke weed because of its legitimate medical benefits. they should not be k-holing. thats not the appropriate way to deal with cancer. nor does it help any of the issues of cancer except moderate pain relief and slight alleviaton of mental pain if you dont put yourself into a k-hole. 

i can smoke 4 grams of weed and not die. i can smoke 4 grams of weed everyday for the next week and have no side effects except not even getting stoned anymore. i wont have to go to the hospital for “exhaustion”. i wont have spent my time at clubs or raves. i probably spent a lot of money on food. i will have no track marks or prolems with my nasal cavity and depending on how i smoke the weed, if i vape it - i may not even have lung problems. and in those days of smoking 4 grams i will STILL DO PRODUCTIVE ACTIVITIES and not just lay around wondering when i’ll get high again. 

so to put me with heroin users is wrong and a surprisingly antiquated view. but i cannot explain all of this and maybe he’ll still disagree but now i’m just in a position where a person who is supposd to love me is telling me im as bad as a heroin addict. i am not and that is not an excuse to not change - i can still change my habits but you have no idea what i wold be for someone like me to do that. he made an “effort” to help but he doesnt have the tools in him to actually help. he told me to think of skating because he wanted to take me skating. 

this morning as i was dropped off he asked if we were going skating. i said i guess and he said no more “i guess” i had to make a solid decision for what iiii wanted to do. and i guess i appreciate that - acknowledging that his personality is not okay for someone like me in the state i am in. i explained to him that our mutual friend came to my place and spoke to the roommate for me and was very like... it was as good as having a medical therapist come and advocate on my behalf. it wasnt like a “you shouldnt do this this is bad” it was “the person you live with suffers from very serious mental issues which affects her daily life and there are reasons as to why she is avoiding confrontation or choosing to live with things that others consider unreasonable” and it was really very good. like not only did i feel like it helped bridge a gap but that someone legitimately felt like they wanted to advocate for me. i didnt ask her to do it. i just explained this is my life and she was like no this is not okay and you need assistance to overcome this hurdle so you can continue on to the next one. i really really appreciate that. no one advocates for me. 

i also made a doctors appt next week and that kind of alleviates some of he pressure i feel about dealing. i know i can now go talk to this person. and if i need to, i have a drive really to see him more often. our mutual friend also came in and casually asked for my razors. and that is something i also appreciate. i made avery large step by freely admitting a relapse. it wasnt like omg cry for help it was this is what occurred. period no discussion because you are not the person trained to deal with such maters of the psyche however as a human being you can acknowledge a crisis and offer assistance to he best of your own abilities. if you have the ability to say ‘hey do you mind if i take your razors with me to get them out of the house’ that is perfectly fine and good and helpful. 

he does not know i relapsed. he has continually said he has no judgement on what i choose to do but does not support it and will only ever advocate for stopping outright. which is totally fair but it compounds the severity. 

hes still trying though? last night he took time to have a moment of private affection and when i tol him about the door knob lock situation he immediately said he would buy one and just let him know. he then said we would “drink sake” tomorrow and added on the skating activity and these things were nice because there is rarely time put aside for just me in the “us”. i follow what he wants to do when he wants to do. i rarely ever ask to go somewhere and when i do i may be able to go but ill have to put up with mock fighting about it. but its not terrible. its not like im dragged to bars or baseball games. he decides we will go hiking and we do. we’ll go to this random thing an hour away and look at i and we do. and i get to exprience sooooo many things i would have never otherwise experienced if i was not with him. and this is why i remain with him. no one else has ever shown me this much of the actual world beyond the bubble i was trapped in. my ex did a decent job but we rarely did anything. like any activities at all. it would be a big deal to take a walk in the woods by our house. 

i’ve gotten to canoe and climb beautiful ontario landscapes. i’ve gotten to eat food from all over the world. ive been given nothing but useful or beautiful and sentimental and meaningful gifts. i have never been given something frivolous ust for the sake of gifts. i’ve been given flowers on more than one occasion. 

it’s really hard to come up with a complaint when i still get to do these wonderful things? like how can i be upset about hiking different parks? i think i’d want to do that anyways. so it’s nice i guess to have it acknowledged this morning that i had the freedom to choose. we did not have to skate and i didnt have to do it because he offered. 

i kind of wanted to though. i think he knew also last night’s dinner with his family friends was just super awkward for me and woul be for literally anyone not related to them. it’s amazing how well they can make someone feel like an outsider while simultaneously telling them they’re “apart of the family”. that wasnt really his fault though. or maybe it s. i dont know. those people sucked and it took forever to eat and i did not even say goodbye to them because literally two sentences were said to me during the night which were, “so you do work in x city or do you commute to another?” and “are you flying out to see him when hes living out west?”  both of which are questions that should never be asked. just period. i mean theyre reasonable questions but to ask them to me results in really awkward answers. like “~ im an artist.” to which she asked, “where” - bitch everywhere. i am a fucking artist of life. and of course its not within my parameters to explain - well you know i’m fucking pretty mentally ill so i’m generally unemployed and collect social assistance hbu. its not like i can outright lie either as the two people who do know my life are sitting there too. and its shitty in some ways that these eople are close tot hem and i am at their house everyday and never once has it been explained that this is in fact his girlfriend, this is what she does and why she is the way she is etc. lie most people would get a “this is ashley, she works at shoppers drug mart and shes a great mom”. but since i have none of this i am nothing to them 

i am also very open about my struggles and where i came from in most situations. this is going to define my interaction with you and you should know that i’m aware of it an am working on it everyday. i am a very self aware empathetic person and i know that becaue of my unusual life i may cause unintentional offense or harm or burden someone in a way that i would not mean to if i understood differently or had a different journey. and everyone has their own journey but it’s a bit like a soldier coming back from war and it’s not on us to judge the severity of harm their journey caused them because we dont know. if theyre so encumbered by the thoughts of death they saw and were apart of it while others are not - we still need to respect the severity ad toll it tok on those individuals. and in no way do they want to be affected by this. theyre not choosing to take it home with them. but it now shapes everything they ever do and being a military person now defines you. it is apart of your definition and character. 

it woul not be appropriate to xplain this to the wasps who think theyre daughter had it rough because she coudnt talk of her prividledge life to stuggling immigrants working to survive while she worked for 2 weeks for extra spending money when she went on her vacation to australia. and it’s ironic of course - i’m now offended by him and i was concerned for offending them; well i was. but then i gave up because i didnt give a shit about them and i didnt think they were actually good members of society. i thought maybe they were “good” fathers or mothers. maybe decent employees. but like a real active good member of society who is bringing a positive vibe to the world? no. i really dont think so. and i have mt people i believe do this. people who i also see really negative traits in as well. theyre not perfect but “good people of society” like working an seeing the whole of society - every part of it as an equal and good thing. maybe theyre bad mothers or fathers though. or maybe not great. i wouldnt say bad. but maybe not great, definitely could be better parents. but they atleast will instill their values, hopefully, into their children who will also be good people of society. i am currently in daily contact with atleast three people who were raised by shitty people of society. people who cared only for heir own exprience and saw everything else as an outside. they now gave that quality to their children. “good mother”. shitty person. 

its up to the people in my support system to advocate for me. honestly.