#curse me and my procrastination
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AAAAAA CAN I WRITE THIS IN LESS THAN TWO HOURS?!???
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But like hypothetically if I decided to make a series of YouTube video breaking down and rambling about how I think the first year trio encompass the full gradient scale of what it means to be “morally good” and how by the end of the series they have grown exponentially but their moral inner workings are so entrenched in who they are they never needed to change they just became more of who they already were.
Because initially Yuuji wants to save the world in that abstract way all heroes do, Megumi is only interested in saving those he can save and Nobara is only interested in those she wants to save. And all these are treated as morally valid by the narrative and not really flaws in need of changing but instead philosophies in need of refining and understanding.
Because Jujutsu Society as a whole encourages and thrives off a moral apathy or superiority, they are in the business of killing curses not saving lives and that ultimately raises the question of if you’re going out there everyday killing curses and inadvertently saving lives does it really matter the reason why? Or the morality behind it? Maybe not to you but to the society, maybe.
So anyway, hypothetically ….would you be hypothetically interested👀
#this is me testing the waters of interest#I’ve been really toying with the idea of making a “the psychology of trilogy for these three for such a long time#but unfortunately I am a creature of procrastination#their moral philosophies and the spectrum they encompass is just so interesting to me#especially because yuuji who arguably has the most selfless philosophy is the only one constantly questioned on it#and having to reshape what the idea of it means to him and he more or less still comes up on the same side just slightly to the left#but I think for him now it’s more than some abstract promise to his grandfather to protect those that need protection#now it’s seeing the worst the world has to give the way people seem to be doomed by the narrative they were born in#and deciding to fight for them anyway#It’s why even after everything he still offers sukuna the chance to have another go round#a chance for a life filled with something more than curses#I don’t think the Yuuji at the beginning of jjk would have understood or done that.#Yuuji’s whole arc is kinda about becoming more of who you already were cracks and all.#don’t even get me started on my girl nobara#hopefully November will be my month#watch out world Kacie YouTube incoming#jjk#throwing thoughts to the void#jujutsu kaisen#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#yuuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#kugisaki nobara#nobara#yuuji#jjk megumi#jjk yuji#itafushikugi
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09/02/2023
another weekend, another day going to a café and reading recent supreme court cases for class☀️
#the universe heard me complaining about no hw again and i have been cursed/blessed with readings all weekend#my prof is also kind of a procrastinator and gives us readings with a short turnaround :'((#i tried this oat mocha topped with orange peel..!#student#studyspo#tea-tuesday#studying#mine#studyblr#study inspiration#study#student life#city#downtown#cafe#cafe aesthetic#coffee
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(06/06)
[ID: a digital bust drawing of zexion from kingdom hearts facing left. The background is transparent and the colors are flat. He is mostly expressionless as he looks downwards, mouth tense. His hair is shaggy and the back ends are pointed outwards. a green line follows the underside of his figure, from the chin, around the hood of his coat and the under the strands of the back of his hair. /End ID.]
#zexion kh#kh zexion#kingdom hearts#my doods#YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO PROCRASTINATED ON ZEXION AGAIN. It was me. Shame#jokes aside drawing has been difficult adfjsjfjdjf but imma assume this will just be how i do stuff#in a frenzy from dem to xig and then longer on xal through vex and then literally the day/week before for zex to axl.#it's a curse you see. at least i have sketches. and a tummy ache.#but we persist#idk if i'll finish anything for rox or kir//yu but i will try#anyway. happy day to all who celebrate the sketch for this was vry cool#this will post at 6 am wish me luck (jesting)
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Okay, if I don't finish my chaotix week prompts today, you're allowed to kill me/j
#I've been busy and tired lately so I procrastinated hard *^*#I mean whenever I tried to really work on them before some shit happened and then I couldn't T-T#I'm a bit cursed with timing but that won't make me give up on my goobers
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Pulling my hair out cause I have a never-ending list of fics I want to read so bad, but I'm going through it so slowww
#i need to lock in and read them all#still it would definitely take me weeks cause they are SO many#(and lowkey the fact that they are so many makes me go even slower why am i like thisss)#never not cursing my procrastinator brain#free me from the way my brain works
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Ugh I'm so drained and tired for some reason. Also vent in tags IG. Has some religion stuff.
#alt rambles#alt vents#think its yhe guilt#tiktok been showing me a lot of like hellenistic gods on my fyp and its#i think because i dont practice tegularly like people do or like#do research or anything#and seeing it over and over on my fyp is making me feel bad and awful#like im disappointed in myself#like i tell myself im working with lord apollo and i want to work with other deities as well#but then i just dont do anything but sit and scroll through socmed all day#its the guilt of procrastination i think#and catholic guilt too#funny because its not like im particularly raised catholic#i think i have a lot of unresolved feelings about religion that i need to unlearn and untangle#but brain doesn't give me that chance because it freaks out when it thinks about gods and deities like#oh no im gling to get punished for thinking this im going to get cursed i dont know what im doing im going to offend them accidentally#people saying that the gods love you mistakes and all is such a hard concept for me to grasp#i just feel like a disappointment#thus guilt
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I've got roughly 60 tabs open in my browser right now, filled with very geographically focused historical research from four different time periods. And I've got two more timelines in mind that I haven't even touched yet. Either we're gonna have a whale of a fic series that absolutely nobody asked for, or I'm gonna come away with weirdly expert knowledge about some times and a place I've never been to... and nothing to show for it.
Could go either way.
#please save me from my own analness#historical accuracy means nothing if I never WRITE anything#somebody tell me to stop procrastinating and start writing#tell it to me sternly cause I apparently need to hear it#or... read it I guess#otherwise I'll go down All The Historical Rabbit Trails#and get nothing done#Little Hope#The Curse in Little Hope
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remember kids. always procrastinate <- has been working for almost a full 24 hours catching up on procrastinated work
#ALMOST. DONE#this is always the most peaceful part tbh#i LIKE working on this stuff okay i find it enjoyable to make my brain go brrr#so its not like its been a horrifc 24 hours#just long#just like im longing for my bed ah HA good ol equivocation#/ zeugma#zeugma is more accurate tbh but i think fallacies fit the vibes better#for i have. Fallaced.#anyway heads up gonna probably be so so silly for the next day or two#as i recover from The Curses#not all of which originate from me to be clear im in this hell in large part because of Horror Events#but id like it known also that if i hadn’t procrastinated this would still be way way easier to deal with#aka if youre reading this pls go work 15 minutes on something youve been putting off. solidarity
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#I’m a stupid stupid stupid person#last week when I went to Southampton (all curses be upon that place and its horrid uni) I saw in the papers of the amateur historian I was#looking at that he had the exact dates for the opening and closing of one my merchant figure’s account at the Bank of England#the BofE Archives have a really primitive search mechanism#so you have to contact one of the archivists to actually see if they have the material#and because I’m an antisocial nocturnal cave creature (ie a historian) I’d rather die than have to interact with another human#thus I put off emailing them until today when I was in the BL waiting for a request to be fulfilled#and they got back to me a few hours later to say that they do have what I want#and that there are open spots to work there from the 18th of July#which would be great#if I weren’t in Taiwan from the 13th#so I wrote back and explained that I’m traveling/researching/working for the rest of the summer and going back to my PhD program in Sept#the absolute angel of an archivist who I will love for all time told me that there was a cancellation for the 3rd-4th he would give me#and that he would ‘flex’ the 15 documents per day rule so I could look at everything#the 3rd is going to be a mess because I’m coming back from Bulgaria late that morning#but I will somehow get myself from Gatwick to Central London and make it work#(just praying they allow photography)#I guess the life lesson of this extremely long and boring story is that procrastination pays ???#me stuff#not the stones
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All I’m doing in terms of work for my online classes is handwriting flash cards and catching up on a podcast
#I’m also anxious and procrastinating opening my professional email again to check for anything from my former professors#I will check it later today but I always get anxious checking over there and wish someone else can handle it for me for the rest of the year#jazz uses curse! 💜
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Had a new OC reveal herself in a dream last night. My art skills aren't good enough to put them to paper and the details are already fading...
#why must I procrastinate instead of doing the things I love#curse me and my autistic brain#ocs#failing at art
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the "i'll do it tomorrow" curse got me again. tomorrow was three days ago
#that's what i call my procrastinating process. The Curse#cause surely it's not *my* fault (well.)#anyways. the consequences haven't caught up with me yet. so.
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on one hand, I could work on finishing one of my fics on ao3
on the other hand, I could finish writing a book and try publishing it
on the strangely incoporial third hand, I could do neither and be stuck in the endless void of self doubt while cursing my ancestors for the development of the disorders that cause me to be tired and unable to focus yet also allergic to caffeine and sunlight
#are you kidding me#why did i have to have medical problems#adhd is a curse#hashimotos disorder is a bitch#i need to stop procrastinating#someone manage my time for me#fic writing#writing problems
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I feel very dumb
#ive been working myself up for dayssss about paying a fee for my college that im not supposed to pay and had until today#ive procrastinated because i didnt want to tell them again and im anxious about going to the website in general so i was just going to pay#its less than 10€ whatever. i took some anxiety (pseudo)meds. i open my email trembling. i look at the email again.#tell me why its the insurance fee from my local swimming pool. that ive paid since than. ive been anxious about this for so many days.#so yeah i havent opened the cursed website maybe i have fees there too who knows? not me.#rambles
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Fighting demons (procrastination)
#every time I think life is going good#suddenly I’m a student in November#not just a student a senior#who has to study for exams#and then use these exam results to apply to uni#someone save me#the age I’m turning is getting a little TOO serious#who let me grow up#I should not be responsible for my own grades#for every ten minutes I study#I spend 40 minutes on ao3#it’s a curse#procrastination final boss
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