#damn-funny

[damn-funny]

Dumb Life Hacks That Somehow Work

Let’s be honest: sometimes the best solutions come from the most ridiculous ideas. You know the ones—life hacks so absurd that they make you question reality, yet somehow, against all odds, they actually work. If you’re looking to add some chaos to your life while also making things a little easier, here are some dumb life hacks that are surprisingly effective.

1. Microwave Two Bowls at Once Need to heat up two bowls but only have one turntable? Place one bowl on the microwave plate and use a cup or mug to elevate the second bowl. It looks ridiculous, but it evenly heats both meals at the same time. Efficiency at its finest.

2. Use a Fork to Dunk Oreos Tired of getting your fingers covered in milk when dunking Oreos? Just stick a fork into the creamy center and dip away. It’s life-changing, and you’ll wonder why you didn’t do this sooner.

3. Mark Your Luggage with a Sock Forget fancy luggage tags—just tie an old, brightly colored sock to your suitcase handle. No one will mistake it for theirs, and you’ll spot it instantly at baggage claim. Bonus points if the sock is weird enough to make people do a double-take.

4. Use a Stapler Remover to Save Your Nails Ever struggled to put a key on a keyring, only to end up with broken nails? Use a stapler remover to pry the ring open without destroying your fingers. It’s one of those “why didn’t I think of that?” moments.

5. Wrap a Rubber Band Around a Paint Can Dipping a brush in paint always leads to messy drips. Solve this by stretching a rubber band across the opening of the can and wiping the brush against it. No more excess paint on the rim, and way less mess.

6. Use a Dustpan to Fill a Bucket Ever tried to fit a big bucket under a small sink? Instead of struggling, grab a dustpan, place the wide end under the faucet, and let the handle direct the water into the bucket. It’s a low-effort solution that just works.

7. Cool a Drink Fast with a Wet Paper Towel Need a cold drink ASAP? Wrap your bottle or can in a wet paper towel and pop it in the freezer for 10-15 minutes. It cools much faster than just sticking it in there alone. Science!

These life hacks may seem questionable, but once you try them, you’ll realize their genius. Have any dumb-but-effective hacks of your own? Share them and spread the wisdom of absurd brilliance! For more hilarious life tips and humor, check out our funny Tumblr blog!

[paperbaghero]

Awkward Homecoming, am I right?

This took WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAYYY longer than what I intended, I’m so sorry HDGDHDGDJDGSJDGDJ I’M NEVER LINING AND COLORING EVER AGAIN !!

[airinn]

smooch 💙

[blaithnne]

Live Mel reaction

[bluerosefox]

F*ck Forgiveness. I Want Vengeance.

Hmmmm

Another DeadTired idea. And Ghost King Danny with Consort Tim.

Tim dies a bitter ended death with the Batfam (Maybe during his RR run and isn't caught by Dick when he is kicked out of WE window? Or its in the future where his relationship between the bats is bad.)

So yeah Tim dies. And wakes in the Infinite Realms and learns to unlive in that Realm and gained a wonderful afterlife.

And somehow manages to gain the attention of the Ghost King, King Phantom and somehow manages to become his Consort after some adorable ghost courting.

Despite the fact he's been dead for like a few months in his original Realms timeline, time in the Infinite Realms is more ocean like than riverish, Tim has been happily married to his husband for what feels like eons.

So Tim was not, very very not happy when his ghost is suddenly pulled away from his anniversary dinner and stuffed back into his body.

He hears yelling and fighting, wakes to see the Bats fighting League Assassins while Batman is fighting Ra's in rage.

And Tim.

He isn't happy at all.

He already figured it out, connected the dots.

Oh Ra's was going to regret bringing him back. The Bats, and he KNOWS they should had respected his last wishes to be fucking cremated, ashes scattered in space, so THIS wouldn't had happened.

Cause Tim wasn't playing around anymore.

[prlssprfctn]

Jason-theatre-kid-Todd, who physically cannot stop making dramatic speeches before taking down an enemy, which absolutely contradicts the way League of Assassins work, which in turn pisses Ra's Al Ghul off.

Ra's Al Ghul: I was going through reports. Why did the last mission take you... an hour and twenty minutes to finish? The target was right there - defenceless atop of that.

Assassin: ...General was speaking.

Ra's Al Ghul: How long his speech took?

Assassin: ...Let's say, he took the target down within twenty seconds.

Ra's Al Ghul: ...What a one can talk about for an hour and twenty minutes, for God's sake!!!

Ra's: Had you spoken to a kid? Had you reminded him that he is not under Dark Knight's wing now? That I won't tolerate talks about justice?

Talia: I, in fact, did.

Ra's: So? What did he say?

Talia: Do you want me to quote him or just to summarise it?

Ra's: Humour me. Be as precise as you can.

Talia: He said, and I quote: "Ra's can [indescribable string of curses that they had never heard before]"

[corvid-khaos]

fionna and cake but simon drops increasingly wild anecdotes about his life

[emperorsfoot]

I just recalled a random memory this morning from when I was in scouts. I had a friend who’s mom was a devout catholic, but we were good friends through scouts. One year my friend wanted to give me a gift for Chanukah so their mom took us to Toys R Us together so I could pick out what I wanted. The mom handed my friend cash at the register so my friend could say they bought it and they paid a little extra for wrapping.

As we were leaving the mom said that I couldn’t open it until Christmas.

But my friend specifically said they were giving it to me for Chanukah. Chanukah that year was a week or two before Christmas (I don’t remember exactly) and the mom said that if I opened it before Christmas “Jesus would know”. I cannot stress enough that my friend wanted it to be a CHANUKAH present.

I’m dropped off at home and my friends mom tells my parents that I can’t open my present until Christmas, meanwhile my friend is in the back seat frustrated and almost shouting “Mom [Renkon] is Jewish!”

My dad just nods and says he understands. He’ll make sure I don’t open it until “the appropriate time”.

First night of Chanukah rolls around and my dad hands me the present and tells me to open it but don’t say anything to my friend until he has a chance to talk to their mother.

So I get to enjoy my toy FOR CHANUKAH like my friend intended.

Anyway, Christmas come and goes. Then new years, then on January 3rd my dad calls the mom and asks “what day does your holiday fall on this year? [Renkon] would like to open their present.”

[hexedwithluck]

I did the meme :)

[lotus-pear]

get loved, fucking idiot

[azrail-has-a-vendetta]

Jason: how old are you again Tim?

Tim: seventeen

Jason: I thought you were seventeen last year?

Tim: ……

Dick: oh they won’t let him age!

Jason: wtf who’s they?

Dick (93 years old): (◐‿◑)

Jason: whO THE FUCK IS THEY?!

[damn-funny]

[cryptocism]

big fan of daniel going completely off the rails while shouting "im nORMAL i am NORMAL im A NORMAL MAN" the whole time

i got commissioned to do another excerpt from the Devil's Minion chapter of Queen of the Damned and it was So Much Fun these two are insane

chapter excerpt under the cut:

[cozylittleartblog]

local salesman CANNOT stop fumbling big beautiful bitches. king of divorce 👑

[wltsquareih]

I had a dumb thought (x)

[pvtpunsart]

meme redraw alt version of previous ask

original img: