#dangerous mercury retrograde musings

[queen-of-empathy]

In Hindsight

our love is dishevelled

crammed into crowded spots

between piles of laundry

on the linoleum floor

swept up, off my feet

into clumsy domesticity

oh how lovely this warm spot

in your lovely warm heart

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ PRYCE AND CARTER'S DEEP SPACE SURVIVAL PROCEDURE & PROTOCOL MANUAL / PAGE 861 - 936 tenses and wording may have been altered slightly for ease of sending! always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

'fainting is a bad sign.'

'there are times you get to have a magic sword, and there are times you need to throw it into a lake.'

'you can't spell "ignorance" without "a goner". be aware and informed at all times!'

'repairs are only possible when personnel are alive to make them.'

'in case you were wondering, mister nice guy(tm) was an experimental hr program piloted in the early '80s and has since been retired.'

'REGULATIONS, SHMEBULATIONS.'

'you will be shocked - /shocked!/ - to learn that /illegal/ gambling is impossible in a place where there's technically no human jurisdiction.'

'consider this a friendly reminder to not bet anything that isn't yours to lose.'

'mercury isn't in retrograde, it's in celsius.'

'incidentally: humans are a fantastic source of protein.'

'in a tight spot, remember: statistically, most things are afraid of the dark.'

'"minor complication" is the suggested alternative to the term "active catastrophe".'

'extremes of pressure are always detrimental to your health.'

'BEWARE THE PERILS OF CROWDFUNDING.'

'there is a line when it comes to being "dangerous". your job is to get as close to that line as you can without touching it.'

'jokes and horseplay are permitted on a "don't ask, don't tell" basis.'

'in a pinch, you can use a dollar to write a note, absorb spills, and practice the noble art of origami.'

'early adoption can lead to beneficial manipulation.'

'few things will get you through as many situations or dangerous situations as a good sense of humor.'

'if you think sunburns on earth are bad, just wait until you get one in space.'

'don't think you're better than them. you've been washing your hands wrong for years.'

'attachment to one's own hair is a liability.'

'WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? PUT THAT DOWN IMMEDIATELY!'

'you must always be in control of your attitude.'

'rapidly typing instructions on your keyboard is distracting and rarely useful.'

'the best /ist/ to be is a completionist.'

'space is like jazz: it's all about the places you don't breathe.'

'not a great time for pros and cons lists.'

'good things come to those who wait, but great things come to those who waste no time in getting back to work.'

'go back to your room and change.'

'a little extra butter never killed anyone. officially.'

'temperature control is a privilege.'

'always pay attention, but do not look too closely.'

'triangles are the strongest shape and the weakest musical instrument.'

'half of leading is acting.'

'there is a rule to every exception.'

'be ready to be spartacus. you might have to be.'

'survival is futile.'

'survival is a fiction.'

'once an idea exists outside our head, can it really ever die?'

'do /any/ of us ever really die?'

[chaoticjoke]

Black-rimmed eyes dart at the hand demanding the car keys. That's an odd and radical decision and yet the Joker's not surprised because it always is when Harley's concerned. He expected her to simply check her phone again and maybe reorder but looks like the harlequin has decided to go on a pizza crusade.

In moments like this, he often contemplates if she's even the right girl for him, failing at such a mundane and simple task. And that... disappoints him.

Lately, if the Joker's really honest with himself, she's been more like a liability than a valuable asset. Blame the existential crisis, something in the Gotham's air, periods, Mercury in retrograde, whatever... Sometimes he asks himself why she's still breathing. Granted, she amuses him still and he's so used to her being constantly around that somehow he doesn't notice that she's been dragging him down distracting him from his ultimate goal. He realizes that now. He's always known he would eventually snap and kill Harley but these days? that moment may come way sooner.

The Agent of Chaos shifts in his sit fishing the car keys out of his pants pocket making the bunch jiggle loudly and aggressively.

"Here." He throws the keys at her, not really caring if she catches them before they hit her leaving a mark. "Five. Minutes." He reminds dangerously, pointing his index finger at her. "Now off ya go. And don't do anything... irrational."

Meanwhile, he'll return to his dark office room whistling a tune and have a snack he's prepared for himself bringing the fast food in one of his duffel bags from his recent heist. She never questions the contents of his pockets or bags knowing better than that -- one of the reasons she's still alive. She'll never make it in time, he muses quickly finishing the contents of his Chinese takeout box, the pizza quest was doomed from the very beginning.

Now she's done it. But thank God or whomever is protecting her that he is sitting down still or else she would be in real trouble. Hands go out immediately and she desperately tries to placate him. Normally she would say she is going to rock his world tonight or fellate him but this is not an ordinary man. He doesn't care about sexual release unless it's on his own terms and he doesn't seem to want anything sexually appetizing right now.

He just wants his pizza and to go back to what he was working on prior then go to sleep. She knows him like the back of her own hand. Mistah' J never wants to get down and dirty unless it's his idea. And he is the one always calling the shots. And he has that look in his eye like a feral alley cat. Starved. Ready to rip her to shreds.

"Okay, okay, I just ---I haven't eaten all day eitha' so I'm grouchy. Lemme get the car keys and skeddadle and find ya the biggest pizza in Gotham. Anchovies and those lil' wings ya love."

The blonde is holding out her hand, so he gives over the keys to the beat up sedan. He'll do it too. Between the both of them she is a hell demon on wheels. On the way back she is gonna get a cheeseburger with the works. Yeah, this is a much better plan. Anything to protect her precious Bernie. @chaoticjoke

[bonesofapoet]

The Muse of Venus

[john constantine x artist!reader]

18+ only please!! i may be nice but im not nice about enforcing this one, so! dont poke a bear during mercury retrograde, my darlings!

author’s note: oh, how i missed writing for my favorite disaster wizard. it’s been too long, my love. this implies SPICE + implied knife play. send me a character and i’ll write a 200 word Thing for them!

word count: 227

“Drench me in roses, and lay me on a cloud like Michelangelo.”

A smirk displayed itself proud and smug as John Constantine lounged on the loveseat in front of your easel. There was a dagger in his hand; it danced between his fingers in twirls and twists and pretty flourishes. Sunlight warmed the room with a welcoming hug, and it danced off the blade in rainbow fractals and flashes that could blind.

You were fairly sure that was a cursed blade he was playing with.

“Now why would I do that?” you asked, lips curling up in a soft smile of your own. Your eyes slid from your canvas to the warlock, eyebrows raised in question. “You’re distracting me, so shh.”

Constantine laughed low and dangerous as he rose, and you knew what he was planning. He stopped his advance when he blocked most of your natural light. “That’s the point, love.”

Your heart was in your throat when you caught his eyes growing dark and mischievous. Your smile widened. “We’ll see.”

You continued with your detail work until the cool touch of metal kissed your jaw and trailed down your throat.

Golden light spilled over you once again, and the tip of a knife turned your head. Maybe it was the warm afternoon sun, maybe it was John Constantine beginning to kiss your neck, but suddenly you were oh, so tired of painting.

“You were saying?”

[mayorgalvan]

Weekly Horoscope for March 26 - 1 April 2018 | Gregory Scott Astrology Pornhub NETWORKPornhubRedTubeYouPornTube8PornMDThumbzillaXTubeGay PornStorePremiumMore

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