#deep deep platonic affection
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idk man, iâve just been craving some platonic ass connections & threads lately ⌠familial or not, just miss writing that aspect of characters sometimes !!
#ooc post#big fat sigh#i love romantic/sexual threads and connections and generally speaking it is something i default to#and ofc i like also creating my characters own families and stuff so in that sense i do think family#but writing AGAINST people in a platonic setting is also super dope and i miss it.#miss my characters getting into weird antics and shenanigans and dragging their friends along#or my characters just being so ride or die for someone that theyâd do anything for them#deep deep platonic affection#and also contrarian connections like#rivals frenemies enemies#family members with weird shared trauma that for some reason havenât managed to move past their diff approaches to life#idk im rambling maybe this is all cause i watched a real pain today
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#artists on tumblr#star wars fanart#star wars: the clone wars#obi wan kenobi#satine kryze#Cw: canon character death#implied but still#the interpretation I can best get behind for this is one that is platonic by choice#because both people involved are like pillars dedicated to principles they will die before abandoning#full of criticism and impatience for the other but also a bone deep respect and affection#that outlasts everything else until the end#Used a set palette for this one
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Static
This is a drabble I have been planning for a while and I finally know how I want to write it :3
Are you ready?
First Drabble here (with original prompt by @spotaus ) Prev Drabble here Next Drabble here
You see.... there was still something that hadden been addressed :3 Something about how Dust was dealing with the pressure and looks and backstory he has to follow :3
No beta and no edit. (also it is a big boy woops)
Timeline is that Nightmare was deaged like 4 months ago. One month in farmtale
*---------------*
Cross isn't sure how to deal with the tension in the air.
The bickering between Killer and Dust isn't making it any better.
Okay, Cross has got to be honest. It is much as much bickering as it is Killer being annoying and Dust trying to ignore him.
It had started this morning wiht Dust being more anti-social than usual. Easy to note by the fact that he had darkened the inside of his hoody.
Dust hadn't said a single word the whole day even as he went through the motions perfectly.
Cross is enver sure how to help in these moments. The moments which Horror once explained where most likely the times when the maybe ghost maybe hallucination of Dust's brother were extra loud.
Cross isn't even sure what that situation is. He asked everyone but Dust about it and no one really knows for sure if the Papyrus haunting Dust is actually a ghost. Or if it is a hallucination made of his own guilt. From what Cross heard from the others Dust isn't sure either.
The fact remains. They had tried to help in the ways they usually do. Cross tried to stay near in case he wanted something but mostly kept quiet. Cross tried to be a quiet reminder that Dust isn't alone and isn't whereever he was before.
Horror makes Dust's favourites and gently bullies him into eating and taking care of himself.
Killer tries to distract him.
Killer's tactis either goes very well or very wrong. At least Cross has been told that.
Cross has seen the two fight obviously but as soon as one manages to down the other the fight ends. The winner will be smug in their own way, Killer by loudly proclaiming victory while Dust will just have this smug little smile on his face.
The first time they just tackled one another to fight Cross had been worried. But after getting Horror and asking him what to do he had reassured Cross that this was just something the two did. For Dust it helps unload some of his large magic levels and overcharge and for Killer... welll Horror isn't sure about Killer, he assumes Killer just likes fighting or the attention with fighting.
Cross watches as Killer hangs all over Dust and yaps away about something. Cross can see that the fork Dust is holding is slowly but surely starting to curve under the pressure of Dust's phalanges.
Cross can see that Crop is a lot more nervous as he looks between the two worried before looking at Horror. Horror shrugs at the unspoken question.
Cross turns to check on Nightmare and sees him looking at the two with a frown. Cross grins and nudges him "No need to frown. Just them being silly again." he smiles.
Nightmare looks at him before looking back at the two. The frown not leaving "no... it isn't."
Cross is immediantly more worried, and he already was worried! He studies the two and notices that Dust is breathing very shallowly. Cross looks at Horror and signs it quickly to him.
Horror has a look of alarm on his face before slowly, and very carefully, inching closer "Come on Killer. That is enough. Not in the kitchen."
Killer grins cheerfully, completely unaware of the ticking timebomb he is hanging over "oooooh! here comes your knight in shining armour Dusty!"
Dust's fist twitches and Cross can see the fork fold over completely. Oh no.
Killer continues on as he leans on the other "Princess Dusty, getting saved and needing protection-"
And Killer flies over the table right into the stone wall, leaving large cracks on it. Dust follows two seconds after and punches him straight on the face.
Horror gets to Dust and tries to pull him off only to be turned blue and pushed away. Horror manages to fight the force but is still pushed away.
Cross doesn't think as he grabs Nightmare and backs up against the wall on the other side of the room. Even as Nightmare makes an unhappy noise and reaches for Dust. Nope! Not save right now!
Dust stands there panting heavily as mana and magic crack like electricity over him. Fuck. He is overcharged with magic. Fuck they are idiots to not realise that was going to happen soon. Fuck fuck fuck.
Horror somehow still looks calm even with the two different coloured eye lights staring straight at him from under the dark hood. "It is okay... we just ened to go out and-"
Dust huffs "Don't fucking bother." he sounds furious. He glances around the room and looks into Cross's direction for a moment. Dust looks away with a flinch and he is out of the room.
The front door slams shut.
Horror is by Killer as he helps him up. Killer groans as he rubs his skull "okay... maybe i was pushing it... again."
Horror gives him a 'no shit' look before checking his wounds.
Cross glances at Crop who had backed out of the kitchen and now inches back in "is everyone okay? what... waht was that?!" he waves at the front door.
Horror sighs as he rubs his skull "Overcharge... Dust has a lot of LV, EXP, magic and mana. Even with his buffed stats it gets a lot and he needs to release the steam or well... it goes off." he glances around "Sorry for your kitchen..."
Crop nods as he looks at the frontdoor "is it... safe for him?"
Horror nods as he looks into the same direction "It is... just dumb i forgot he would need to discharge...." he sighs.
Killer groans as he gets up "We all forgot. We have been busy and well... I think Dusty forgot as well."
A tug on his sleeve and Cross looks down at Nightmare. Nightmare just looks at him "Can I go to Dust?"
Cross feels panicked "no?! Just let him discharge Nightmare. You know he will be fine."
Nightmare shakes his skull as he looks at the frontdoor "It seemed different... I can't explain." a frown on his face of frustration.
Cross frowns as he looks at Horror and Killer. They share looks before moving towards the front door.
A loud boom of thunder and they open it to stare.
A large vortext of pure black clouds with purple lightning. SLowly but surely swirling to somewhere above the fields.
Crop whistles "Well then... I never saw that much magic before." he frowns and points "That normal?"
Cross follows the direction as he sees small zaps and static all in the air, all that same purple colour.
Killer shakes his skull "No that isn't normal... fuck I need to apologise..." he rubs his skull before quickly looking at Nightmare "don't repeat that." Nightmare shoots him an annoyed look.
Killer grins back before walking towards the stairs of the porch with purpose. only to get zapped as soon as he gets off the wood. Killer yelps and rushes back to stand behind Horror. glaring at the air "Rude! What the hell Dusty!"
horror frowns at him "hurt?"
Killer shakes his skull "More like a tiny zap when you are like static and stuff." he frowns and looks at the air "Though i don't know how that will be once that gets worse..."
Cross frowns as he follows Killer's sight. Cross can admit he is also worried. if this gets much worse it can spell very bad news.. not to forget that it has never been this bad before... Is this just what happened if they don't help him remember to discharge in time? Is Dust even okay with this much pressure and magic going on?
Cross frowns as he hands Nightmare to Horror "You guys stay here. Help Crop with the kitchen and keep Ngihtmare safe." just in case.
Ngihtmare glares as he is put down "I am safe!"
Cross nods and stares at Killer and Horror "I am going to go to help and try to get him to calm down and discharge safely." a spar usually works best.
Horror frowns as he shakes his skull "I will just come back if it goes wrong."
Cross shoots him a look "I got better stats and have the endurance to keep dodging to get through the worst. Killer has a straight up bullseye by his sternum and he annoyed Dust already. YOu may come back but do you really want to do that to Dust?" Horror frowns but nods his agreement. Cross nods himself "just keep an eye on Nightmare and-"
"See? Perfectly safe."
They all turn only to stare. Becuase Nightmare is just standing off of the porch. in the middle of the static. But nothing happens. the static follows along his body but never zaps him. Nightmare looks unamused "I will go to dusty and fix this."
Cross shakes his skull as he gets off the porch. Fuck the zapping is almost constant. He gets ot Nightmare and picking him up gives him a much much much larger and slightly painful zap. Cross breaths through it "No. You are going to stay here and wait. This is our mess so we will fix it ourselves." he nuzzles the small skull "We got this."
Nightmare looks unhappy to doesn't fight being handing back to Horror, Horror flinches at the zap but takes it in stride.
Cross nods to the others and goes into the direction of the large vortex of clouds.
The zapping is honestly just annoying. It helps that Cross can see none of his HP dropping even as he gets closer and closer.
He ends up finding Dust in the wheat field, well in a circle of completely vaporized wheat. the current and magic having turned the plants and part of the ground into ash. Dust just stands there. muttering as crackles of lighting go all along his body.
Cross gulps before stealing himself "Hey Dust!"
Dust freezes. Okay! Good news! Dust can still hear him! not too far gone!
Cross smiles and feels a bit braver "sorry we didn't realise... want to spar? Blow off a bit of steam?"
Dust tilts his skull but nothing. okay wait! Cross knows what this means!
Cross speaks louder "don't listen to whatever he says!" Dust doesn't react. Cross takes a step closer "please. whatever he says it isn't true or real oaky? Or at least not the full truth and-"
Dust chuckles and stares at him "What? Think i ened fucking protection from him?"
Cross blinks and opens and clsoes his mouth. Not sure what to say "I... euh... maybe?" is this a trick question?
Dust looks displeased by his answer. That is fair Cross couldn't commit to either answer. Dust huffs "Don't fucking bother. I am fine."
Cross frowns and feels braver again. No time for self doubt. Dust needs his help. Cross steps clsoer "You aren't fine."
Dust glares back at him "I am fine!" crackles and the ring of vaporized wheat grows bigger. Oh man Cross hopes Crop won't lose too much money thanks to that.
Cross gulps but keeps going closer "It is okay Dust... If it hurts i can heal you!" his healing is weak but he can still heal! "We just need to get you to use some magic and-"
Dust snaps "You want to see fucking magic!" and it crackles loudly as a snap of lightning crashed just by Dust's feet. Cross yelps and feels afraid it did damage but Dust seems fine even as the energy from the lightning travels through the ground. A loud whine of magic nad Cross sees an overgrown blaster right by Dust's shoulder.
Dust hisses "leave. me. alone."
The blaster blasts and Cross dodges. After the dodge Cross actually feels reassured.
You see?
If Dust wants to hit you. He will hit you. The fact he gave Cross enough time to get ready to dodge and didn't change the direction of the beam to still hit him gives Cross hope.
Cross glares back "I am not leaving." not again. He is not giving up on them again.
Dust glares as more blasters appear "You think I won't do it?! You think I am fucking weak?!"
...Weak?
Cross blinks "No? You are like one of the strongest mosnters I know..." Cross has seen Dust fight Ink 1v1 and win. Dust weak? Why would he ever think that? Who would ever think that?
Dust laughs and more crackles in the air as the static grows. Dust's face becomes visible and he smiles sharply at him "That is quite a different answer than you gave before!"
before? When?! Cross never said Dust was weak!
Cross doesn't really have a chance to dodge. Because even if Dust gives him time to see the attacks coming Cross sitll has to dodge them himself.
Dust growls as he charges more attacks "Helpless? Weak? Useless? come on! You can tell me! I already figured it out anyway! With the endless hovering and shadowing!" another blast.
It clicks.
They are fucking idiots!
Cross looks at him panicked "It is just an backstory!" Dust had said no. They still pushed and he had been unhappy wiht it.
They thought it was fine.
But then again. It isn't Cross who has to deal with it with every interaction he has...
Shit. They are assholes.
Cross barely dodges another blast and Dust frowns a tiny bit. He pulls his arm a bit back and a few blasters hold their fire "Well?! Still weak?! Still useless!?"
Cross needs to do something.
And well, the answer is obvious.
Cross gets ready for his sprint. He needs all the speed he can get. Dust sees him hold his own run and rolls his eye lights before shooting at him with a sneer on his face.
Cross runs straight at Dust, straight at the blast. Dust's sockets and eye lights widen and he has to pull hard at his own magic. the air crackles angerly as the blast changes directions just before it hits Cross.
Cross gets right up into Dust's personal space and locks his arms around the other.
Dust snarls and tries to free himself but Cross has more physical strenght than he has and Cross has a good hold on him with locking his arms to his side.
Dust screams and wiggles "Let me go!"
Cross shakes his skull and pushes close to the other "No. I am not letting go of you." not of you. not of nightmare. not of the others. No. He isn't letting go.
Struggling and more screaming. Blasters going off but without his arms he can't aim them right. Dust goes as far as trying to kick, scratch and even bite him but Cross just keeps holding on. Refusing to give up or give in.
The storm around them calms slowly and eventually Dust goes lax in his arms. still some uneasy crackles far above them but the vortex disappeared and the clouds turned more of a dark grey colour.
It starts to rain and this is when Cross thinks it would be safe to let him go. Not that he does. Cross keeps holding on.
Dust isjust lax in his hold. Not saying a word and Cross doens't even know how to say what he wants to say. That he is sorry for pushing. For not helping Dust think of a new plan. So being so okay with Dust having had to carry most of the burding concerning their back story. and later more responsiblity about money. and before that even with taking care of nightmare. All wihtout Cross even trying to help him.
Cross had just... liked the idea of the backstory. That Dust came to them for help, that Cross had a bit of the savior role in the story... Just like he had enjoyed the idea of some people thinking he and dust had a kid together. Just like he enjoys the idea that everyone knows the four of them are an unit and won't separate... Cross is a jerk.
He still isn't sure what to say "... We can probably change the backstory still..." Instead he just talks.
Dust just sounds tired "We can't..."
Cross shakes his skull and just tightens his hold "No we totally can!" think think think "We... we... we can just be that... that i was the one with the ex! But that i hadn't been sure about a kid... and so i just left but regretted it and found out about the bad stuff..." he is just rambling "So i went back and got you guys for help but nightmare had been so young so he didn't remember me and i was still weird about being a father but you were great at it so you and nightmare bonded and so we just kinda told him it was you and... and..." Cross doesn't know. he is stuck and can't think.
Dust snorts against his shoulder "People will hate that... they won't trust us in anyway if they 'found out' we lied..."
Cross gulps and knows he is right. still... "I am sorry... I should have told killer to stuff it when he oppered."
Dust shrugs "Could have done that myself..."
They continue to sit there in the rain. Cross trying to think of some way to fix this mess.
Dust sighs "It is fine... just... stupid... got the best of me... won't happen again."
Cross feels even worse "I am sorry..."
Dust tries to pull back, probably to shoot him a look of some kind but Cross just keeps holding him tighter. No. Not letting go.
Dust sighs and gives in rather easily "I know why... it is fine..."
Cross shakes his skull "you are overworked... and we were to dumb to see."
Dust lets out an annoyed sigh again "I don't need a babysitter. I should be able to take care of myself just fine cross."
Cross feels tears appear but pusehs them back "It isn't being a babysitter you moron! It is about being friends and looking out for one another and not being a dumb idiot to forget one of your friends also needs help!"
silence.
Cross just keeps going "We shouldn't have pushed the backstory. WHen you said no we should ahve just accepted that! You were uncomfortable wiht that plan. YOu are still uncomfortable wiht it. it isn't fair that we kept pushing and you had to brun for it."
Cross feels himself start to ramble and he doesn't bother to stop it "And then the tinkering! You like that and that is great but that doesn't mean it should be a must or have the pressure of being our solo income! You are overworked and tired and need rest and i don't want to hear any comment or self hating joke about you being lazy!"
Dust huffs and mutters "kill joy" but stays quiet otherwise.
Cross keeps going as if he didn't interrupt him "You are also the one who takes charge with Nightmare and that is fine as well as long as you don't have all the pressure! It is unfair of us to just assume you will decide or have the decision or even that you thought about it! Even if you do have the answers and you did think about it it isn't fair that we put that expectation and pressure on you! We are a team and we should share the burden of stuff!"
Cross pants as he just sits there. feeling partly mortified by what he just said and partly relieved he managed to get it all out.
Dust is quiet for a long time before answering "I don't mind it..." it is hardly more than a whisper.
Cross huffs and just keeps holding it "Even if you don't mind it now clearly it is too much or we wouldn't be sitting in a circle of vaporized plants."
Dust is silent but does give a small nod against his shoulder.
Cross nods himself "When you feel okayish. we will go back to the others. you are going to get cleaned up and sleep. actually sleep. and sleep in. No more trying to get up early wiht Nightmare."
Dust mutters "I sleep in..."
Cross huffs "Yeah. until like 8 or 9 compared to the 5 and 6 of Horror and me. But I mean you need to sleep sleep Dust. Sleep in untill at least 10. Don't even think I won't get Horror or Killer to tie you down to the bed!" Dust is almost always up until late at night. he needs rest clearly.
Dust snorts and mutters "Don't let Killer hear you say that. He will have many things to say about that implication about your preferences."
Oh god no brain don't think about that mental image when Dust is stuck in your arms. You don't want to have that type of conversation now when that image does things to you!
Cross feels himself blush as he stares striaght ahead "Very funny."
Dust snorts "I know."
Cross huffs before spekaing again "Well then! You are going to sleep in and get the rest you actually need. We are no longer going to allow you to plan your days full like you did before anymore."
Dust groans "Cross we still need money."
Cross nods "and so we will figure something out eventually! But you are no longer trying to earn enough for everyone. And please for the love of everything actually buy something nice for yourself for once!" so far he had only spend money on stuff for Nightmare. or clothes for any of them. Cross appreciates the clean clothes and things but please Dust just get stuff for yourself.
Dust mutters and mumbles some stuff but nothing that Cross can really make heads or tails from "Good! Now that we agreed to that... Ready to go back?"
Dust is quiet again but sighs "Yeah.... need to apologise to Killer for attacking him... and crop for probably breaking part of his house..."
Cross nods "Yeah... Good news though Killer didn't have actual HP damage so i think even when mad you were pretty controlled over what you actually wanted, which was just Killer to shut up I guess... as for Crop's house I only saw some cracks and Horror and I can do enough construction stuff to fix that." a moment of silence "Also Killer owns you an apology for annoying you the whole day."
Dust listens before sighing "Thanks..."
They sit a moment longer before they both get up. Cross can't help his curiosity as he sticks his phalanges into the lose sand.
Dust frowns at him "What are you doing?"
Cross looks away embarresed "Heard that... if lightning strikes sand like glass is made... I am curious..." he feels something but can't pull it out. Instead he pushes more sand and dirt aside and uncovers a giant glass electric strike in the ground. he can see how the electricity move and made the glass.
Dust frowns at it "Hopefully I didn't ruin his field... Will have to dig that out and any other stuff to make sure it doesn't damage his machinery when he does farming stuff." Dust already sounds tired as he looks around his large circle were Cross cna see multiple hits of lightning hit the ground.
Cross pats his back "It is fine. Horror and I got a lot of free time so we will get to that tomorrow."
Dust looks at him before sighing and nodding "fine."
Cross nods.
The two walk back as Cross looks at the sky "It is clearing... I didn't know you could do the whole sky thing..."
Dust shrugs "never did that before."
huh. Cross keeps looking up "Think it was because you have more charge or something?"
Dust shrugs "Could be..."
Cross nods as he taps his chin "We will need to make sure you don't overcharge faster than..."
Dust is quiet but Cross feels Dust nudge his shoulder. Cross beams at him and Dust shoots him a small smile back.
They near the house and find their other three boys waiting on the porch. Dust goes straight to nightmare nad hugs him before looking at Horror and Killer for just amoment before looking down "sorry... I.... sorry."
Horror smiles bakc and nods. Killer grins himself and shrugs "Euh. It is fine. Sorry to you for once again not picking up on your social clues." he rubs his cheek which has a large bruise "No hard feelings."
Dust nods and agrees easily enough.
After apologizing to Crop for the mess in both the kitchen and field and promising to fix it they get back to their attic. They take a moment to sit together and Cross explains what the deal had been about. Mostly because dust had retreated to hoody-city while hugging Nightmare and was refusing to admit himself what was wrong.
Killer and Horror both look deeply unhappy with this newly gotten information and looka t Dust. Dust manages to somehow look even further away as he mutters "Cross makes it sound worse than it is."
Cross glares. Rude! Because he actually thinks he is underselling the issue!
Killer must come to the same conclusion as he wiggles around until he is laying right up against Dust's side and looks at him begging "You know that I know you are like the strongest monster ever right? Like it is obvious. We all know that? You know that right?"
Dust shrugs and nods but Corss has his doubts. Seeing as he didn't seem to beleive so just moments ago. Killer pouts and has his scheming face on.
Cross sighs "Either way... we need to balance the work load better." he shoots Nightmare a look "You aren't allowed to share the load as you are a child and no child labor."
Ngihtmare huffs and crosses his arms "I can help"
Killer nods "You help by staying safe nad being a good babybones!" Nightamre grumbles even more and pushes closer to Dust.
Horror hums and nods "We will... need to calm down... Taking it easy with townvisits." he shoots Dust a look "Only when it is relaly necessary."
Dust huffs and mutters "Still need cash."
Horror nods "We will figure that out later. First taking things calmly. step by step."
Cross nods as he sees Dust relax a bit. Step by step. They can do this. They got each other and everything will be fine.
*---------------*
First Drabble here Prev Drabble here Next Drabble here
#Realageau#utmv#nightmare sans#deaged nightmare#cross sans#dust sans#horror sans#killer sans#bad sanses#farm sans#And there we have it folks!#Dust waiting breakdown as the pressure got a bit too high for too long!#Cross to the save with forced heart to heart#mostly because cross has the grip and stamina to last him ages and while dust has raw magical power he does not have the same stamina or#strenght to break free#meaning that cross won and dust and him had a bit of a heart to heart in the middle of a circle of distruction and still smoking ground#Also Cross once again having a few inappropiate thoguths and feelings. the boy is so deep in denial you guys.#Dust however makes the joke but misses the point himself as well.#So yeah technically some Doss... Crust? Dross? I am still not sure on their shipname#Though that is very much background and mostly just friendship and platonic#Cross to Dust: How do you dare not believe that we think the world of you?! No! YOu are stuck in the prison of suport and affection until#you learn your lesson!#Dust: it is a hug#Cross: It is the prison of support nad affection!#Euh... I wanted to say more i think?#Oh right! I was very close to making another drabble but that is now for another day.#mostly because i am tempted to make it in two because povs would be interesting but that is a different issue#I am off to fix my links now. lets see if you guys are faster with reading and reblogging this giant drabble or i am faster!
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FUCK netflix for every reason imaginable but god. catking deadboydetectives being exactly my type of character is ruining my LIFE i have THINGS TO DO and im just thinking about that horrible little bisexual man
#personal#and by horrible i mean loml#i am always obsessed with confident flirts with deep dark loneliness#in their hearts#that are incapable of receiving true platonic/romantic affection#and also that people think are dumb because of their personality#but are secretly very smart and caring#OH BOY IT ACTUALLY MAKES ME KINDA CRAZY I NEED TO LIE DOWN#dont get me started on catwin#im refreshing the ao3 twice a day
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for example, one of my favorite kinds of fanfics is shippy, romantic stuff, but i have absolutely no taste or interest in writing anything romantic. while i enjoy other's work of that kind, i find nothing interesting in writing it myself; if anything, i'd much rather focus on the character's platonic relationship as it is (even if the characters are canonically romantically involved) rather than adding anything romantic into it.
i'm just wondering if this is the case for others, too, if what you enjoy reading and writing are different when it comes to fanfic :)
#bluebird.txt#don't even ask me what romance consists of i just know i don't like getting deep into it. i only barely know how to describe romance#on a good day#strong platonic bonds? you got it! romance? kissing and clearly Romanticâ˘ď¸ affection? ehhhh. nah.#the first superman fic i write (which i haven't finished still....) has clois as friends not even together yet#i did have another one where they were married but it was kind of like just a crack fic and eh#polls#wow another poll from me. Lol
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Greys Anatomy has so many great platonic relationships and it's the part of the show that I enjoy the most and gets me to cry the most. I've been thinking so much about Derek and Cristina since, well season 7. That was one heck of a season of them. Like their dynamic of caring for each other because they care for Meredith and in the end they care for each other for real. Derek got married with Meredith and Cristina came with (see how differently Derek treats their relationship in comparison to Burke and fucking. Owen. After a big at least) they're very big brother and little sister to me, especially with their storyline in season 7, but also just in general. They loved each other, they never thought they would actually. Do that. But they did.
Their final scene in season 10 is. So. Good. Because Cristina just kinda says it like she's surprised she's saying goodbye and Derek takes a few seconds to respond because neither can fully wrap their heads around it. And they hug, which is probably the only time we've seen them hug, and they hold hands for a second before Cristina turns around and leaves. And the look Derek gives her is a bit like the one he gave her at their fishing trip. Like there really is something so very big brother, so proud about the way he looks at her and just I love them.
And what really ruins in a good way that scene for me is that (unless something different has been mentioned i haven't watched s11) that was probably, definitely, the last time they saw each other alive, like in person. (They've definitely talked on the phone because Cristina and Meredith have talked on the phone and Derek is always around.) And then the next time she sees him is when she flies in for his funeral. Like yeah okay way to make me cry 10 times more about an already terribly sad scene.
It really is too bad Derek dies after Cristina left because I would've loved to see like her actual whole reaction to it, further than holding Meredith's hand at the funeral.
#every now and then i remeber i can just post rants on tumblr#cause who cares#i should do that more#âshw doesnt let me take care of herâ âim taking care of herâ something about the deep affection of loving the same person#also gay#like Cristina's Derek's wifes girlfriend/life partner#cristina yang#derek shepherd#Meredith grey#cristina and derek#cristina x derek#from a platonic standpoint#greys anatomy#grey's anatomy#greys anatomy rambles#pzyii rants#twisted sisters + mcdreamy#merdertina#on this episode of vics favourite found family dynamics
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#am really starting to wonder if women are even capable of experiencing friendship?#i can think of two totally platonic male friends in my life that i would consider myself âcosmically intertwinedâ with#like honestly i'd almost say the love i feel for those two men is deeper than any love i have ever felt for any girl#and i think it will remain that way until i find my wife#like....those are my bros#they're my brothers in a very real sense#i guess i'm realizing that this shit is a huge pet peeve for me#i think male friendship is a beautiful and sacred thing#and i think it's legitimately fucked how women just dismiss it#and there are so few good representations of it in popular media#we've got what....frodo and sam and achilles and patroclus?#but of course both of those are actually secretly gay too#and i'm being a bit facetious#like i'm sure women have friends#but then why do you have to dismiss/sexualize male friendships?#and like yeah yeah it's just a joke/it's not that deep/let people ship things/etc#sure whatever it's not even necessarily about this particular post#this is about a broader attitude -- one i mostly find in women -- and i know these people act like this about irl male friendships too#i've had it happen to me and a friend irl#and it's one thing if it's just a âshipâ but i know many of these people insist that their âshipâ is actually true/reality#it feels perverse when a group of girls are not-so-secretly spreading a rumor that you and your friend are gay for each other#and i'm a bisexual dude so i don't even have anything against gay sex#and i also have had fwbs so i don't think friendship necessarily precludes the possibility of sex#but when it is just a genuinely purely platonic friendship with no sex/romance#but people insist it is sexual/romantic it feels especially wrong and vile -- and it starts negatively affecting the friendship itself#like honestly that's what happened between me and him and by the time he shipped off to boot camp we were already barely talking#because he was made to feel weird about the closeness of our friendship by stupid girls spreading rumors#so yeah i guess i'm bitter about it
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OKAY..... okay so maybe HE IS a little pretty in an old rugged man kinda way....
#( images. ingvar )#( ooc )#im so sorry for the screenshot spam HJJGJDJF#also ?? he inexplicably has a deep affection for harding in a platonic way and i love that for him#he's gonna be everyone's dad.#hes probably only like ten years older than harding but thats fine dwbi.#also the little âuuhhh whats that crystal do.....?'' thing kILLS ME#hes an idiot but hes my idiot.#somehow hes also a rather serious man ?? also love that for him too#we're ignoring the crunch of the photos yes#also x 3...... he has a stupid little ponytail and i love it
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anyway she bought me cocoa macarons and held my hand and hugged me over and over and held me and . ppl who act like platonic love shud be somehow less affectionate r crazy . my hands belong in hers . she kissed my hands . hand kissing and chocolate treats and borrowing ur mums car and squeezing her tightly like a plushie and holding her in my soft warm arms and going in for one last hug over and over whispering i missed u into my neck That's Friendship
#ik folk will act like thats not platonic all i can say is if u dont show deep affection to ur platonic loves u are missing out#mmg speaks#s#friendship
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currently being motivated by certain Conversations with my friends to keep writing chapter 2 of the sun is only a God if you learn to starve
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somehow doodled some organic pohatu n kopaka from my stupid au
fun fact pohatus hair should naturally be wavy and all over his face but after two uses of the kakama tops it straightens back completely bc that thing makes you go so fucking fAST
#bionicle#pohatu#kopaka#humanized bionicle#random draws#love how their designs turned out. every gender and also none of them all at once. long hair my fucking beloved#kohatu#platonic or romantic whichever yall prefer but i think if he had skin kopaka would be Very blushy and he would Hate It#these bots be lesbians (<- they misunderstood the word as 'general term for beings who share a deep affection but arent friends or family')#(cue the question: Are Hewkii And Macku Lesbians?)
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The Archivist is really good at their job but also they are homophobic and he's the kind of person to write down "â´This passage makes us understand the brotherly love between the two people" and it's like. A letter where the person is a gay man and confesses his love shortly after getting kicked out of his house because of said gayness.
He's also a misogynist. Sorry to the people who liked him.
#station to station#the archivist#he shifts between omitting gay passages and just clarifying it's just a sign of deep platonic affection and nothing else#he would be right at home in ancient greece
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And it's about the fics that made me warm inside and giggly and pacing around the room and screaming and punching the wall in the best possible way
but it's also about the fics that made me consider the points of view I never would've considered and understand people I never would've understood and made me change my mind about some aspects of life and made me realize revolutionary things about myself and people around me and literally changed my life by showing me something I've never been shown before
crazy how fanfic authors drop the most beautiful and gorgeous pieces of work ever, leaving you speechless and sobbing at three in the morning as you quietly contemplate the masterpiece you just read
and they donât get paid for it they just do it because theyâre having fun and they want to share their joy with you
like I would literally die for all of you fanfic authors out there reblog to swear your allegiance to fanfic authors
#yes of course it's about found family tropes#what did you think#but not only that#there's so much more#deep platonic affection for one don't get me started#and it all boils down to on one hand reading the experience of someone so different than you#and on the other hand finding yourself in the words of another and not feeling alone anymore#both are the greatest for different reasons#thank you fic writers#writing#fanfiction
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Iâm going to attack someone I love âlanguageâ barriers in relationships
#ok 1 I do mean language like one Canât talk or doesnât know how to express themselves (hmmm wonder who canât be my pfp OH SHIT IT ISSS WOAWâ#and 2 I mean language like body language like not knowing how to express affection or maybe just incapable of doing so#hm wonder what that last one is canât be the#yeah you get it I love this shit anyways I love this shit cause itâs so difficult for me to explain how I want things in relationships and#seeing it Still Work Out in a not like a classic relationship is so fun#I donât even just mean romantic!! like the two âexamplesâ I mentioned could be purely platonic (and mostly are for how I see them lmao) and#could be just as deep!!!!!!!#itâs also why I love Adrift so much because Matt (the author) (itâs on his tumblr blog Iâm not being weird I think) (I hope) understands tha#t and itâs a main reason why he likes those two so much!!!! and itâs explained so clearly itâs so fucking thought out it makes me dizzy lmao#idk IDK just relationships where you just CANT communicate and shit STILL WORKS in their OWN WAY#AGGGHGJFSGJDHF
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everything is terrible actually
#I really just need a hug I think#I havent had real serious physical affection in so long#I know I dont deserve jt no one does and Its a fucked up thing to make other people do things to help me#But fuck dude I just want someone to come up to me and grab my hand or hug me#My platonic partner used to do it all the time but we're on a break and I need to rely on them less#I keep befriending people who dont like physical touch and I am gonna stab something#Truly I just need one person who I can lean on or cuddle with casually#Ideally more than one!! But like. Idk#I need to get over myself this isnt an actual need im acting selfish and entitled#I know that the only real answer here is Get Over It or die#And ive been trying to get over it for years#Ive stopped initiating physical touch bc I dont want to make people uncomfortable#And im worried that that means that people assume I am uncomfortable with it#Bc I never mention how deep a need it is to me to know im even just being tolerated#But if I mention that theyxll feel pressured#Ugh#The worst part is I cant actually kms bc of this until at least after May is here cause I know that she's good with that stuff#And maybe once shes here i'll be okay#Happily codependent with the person ive been close with for the longest time since fourth grade#But ughhhhhhhhh terrube to have to wait over 400 more days. I will do it for her but oh ny god I am rotting from the inside out#I do not want her to come home to a decayed corpse but I dont knkw how much longer I can keep this up#(Not talking specifically abt touch that would be weird and dramatic as shit this is generally Everything)#May forgive me if u come to seattle and im a shell of the person I was when u met me
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why is it so difficult to find someone
#iâm so tired of yearning#i want to be yearned for- admired. i want to be loved#i want to be held so badly itâs suffocating#someone to look me in the eyes and tell me they want me#every day i find myself wondering if itâs even possible for me to be loved. not platonically but a deep desire and want for me#iâm spiraling so bad itâs almost insane#being a borderline is so fucking exhausting and isolating. i think about the affection i crave and immediately start crying#fuck man.#spiraltxt
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