#definitely not until the end of the year
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also re: my last post (ran out of room) this is why cards and letters and words of affirmation from the kids are so important to me. not (just) because itâs like ��oh they like meâ but because itâs like âoh they got somethingâ
#thinking about the girl my first year who fell asleep all the time#she worked jobs and was in the middle of moving and was tired#and she wrote me a beautiful letter and my teaching was there on the page! sheâd received it even though I never would have guessed#and itâs often like that. the wholeness of my teaching (attempted)#the striving for it. the presence of it. they feel that even when they donât want to and even when itâs not doing what I think it should#they also donât need as many moments as I am capable of giving#when I force myself to think about when I was a teenager the literature experience was more like a collection of blinding flashes#of Moments that only added up to a few. but they were sooooo important to me#because they went to the root of the thing#and shook me#and I donât live in that headspace anymore#itâs much more integrated and itâs much more appreciative of the journey rather than just the moment#and I was a kid who was present#undistracted by many other things. not fighting the process with a bad attitude#naturally interested in the subject. all these things#but only a few things (even so) penetrated through#the rest just became part of the soil of my soul and way of thinking#but not in a way I noticed or thought about#and thatâs probably true for many of my students#they also donât show appreciation. ever! just kidding I mean most of the time#definitely not until the end of the year#and that is appropriate.#but it is working in the dark in a lot of the ways#and then a kid is like I miss your class so much and Iâm like why you were a little TOAD who disrespected me and the book so much#of the time. and itâs like well yeah cause theyâre kids#but they are still drinking it in and feeling it and adding it to their own mental collections#anyway I am gone today (doctorâs appointment) so the floodgates of reflection have opened#thanks for listening!#teaching tag
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On my knees begging for anything trans!Obi-Wan :') love your work btw

your wish is my comand lovely anon, here's obi-wan having a nice peaceful moment training
#art requests#i got perhaps a little carried away i cant lie buuuuut im very happy with this#first thing ive really drawn in like 6 months#i came up with a silly over complicated lore for the tree in the background because .. well you gotta think about something when you draw#its a short lived species that picks a direction and grows in it until it falls over and dies and lots of smaller ones grow up in its place#and yoda plants them around the creche / training areas/ gardens / wherever and they act as a lesson in attachemnt for younglings :)#like yes this tree thats been around all your life (10 years or less) is dead but look it dying has made new trees and new opportunities#and maybe sometimes he gifts them to younglings he likes or ones he thinks could use the reminder sometimes that things ending isnt the end#new stuff happens after everything continues its all fine#anakin definitely recieved one or ten#probably was still recieving them into knighthood because yoda is a troll#he doesnt know theyre supposed to collapse and die though he just thinks hes really bad at looking after plants#anyways#yep#done with that#my art <3#cal draws#obiwan kenobi#trans obi wan#trans obi wan kenobi#trans! obiwan#star wars#star wars fanart#fanart
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Genuine question as I am curious â I know itâs pretty obvious with his expressions/ body language that Daniel seemed shy/insecure(?) about having his braces, but has he ever outright said anything about feeling that way with them? Just out of curiosity as I am new around here!
âI feel very different in terms of looks. Fortunately, experience also bought me better looks. Iâm not really too fond of showing people photos of me when I was youngerâ
#well he doesnât exactly say he was self-conscious of his braces but he was definitely very self-conscious about how he looked#itâs always very interesting to me the way Daniel talks about his younger self#itâs so different from how other f1 drivers talk about their early days#heâs so self-critical of younger him that I wish he was a bit more forgiving of younger him#the way heâs admitted he was never a standout talent during his karting days#that he was so hesitant to get involved in battles that his dad got mad at him#the way on the gypsy tales podcast he talks about Motocross riders being fearless and how he doesnât have that until jase interrupts him -#to say how how mad he is because just a few days ago he was throwing a car around on a street circuit at some 300kph#the way in this video with will he describes himself walking into the paddock like a âheadless chickâ#the way he has said so many times he was scared to move away from home. how uncertain he was he would ever succeed#and then that one video towards the end of 2022 when he says âI was just Daniel thenâ in reference to his younger self#like he has such a distinct way of looking at his younger self. like he views that part of him almost as a separate entity from the him now#and I guess thatâs because it took a lot of work and years to build that confidence of becoming Daniel ricciardo#a confidence he got as he managed to survive the shark tank of the red bull junior academy#a confidence he got from beating his 4x wdc teammate. from winning the most insane races#and that confidence then getting completely decimated in the space of a few months in 2022#and even now the more he says he is confident you can still see that tiny hesitancy#how every time he gets a good result you see how he yearns to lean back into his confident Daniel schtick#and he may just completely embrace it soon anyway <3#daniel ricciardo#anon ask
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Lloyd but itâs just him calling his dad a centipede.
Lloyd was definitely one of those kids who loved insects. Even the gross and slimy ones.
Zane screamed in terror when he opened his arm hatch just to see a large, poisonous spider crawl out. He forgot he ainât human.
#lego ninjago#ninjago#ninjago lloyd#lloyd garmadon#ninjago zane#zane julien#spiders#ninjago headcanons#he was definitely one of those kids to chase people around with bugs#Kai was downright terrified#he once climbef Cole to avoid it#until both Kai and Lloyd realosed Cole was even worse#bro lowkey jumped on to the counter and started shaking#literally saying âstep away right nowâ#jay is like Lloyd but less bad as him#since i headcanon him to have a pet poisonous spider#nya is like Kai but she hides it super well after having to get rid of spiders for kai ocer years#lloyd sobbed when he realised what she meant by get rid of#she woke up the next day with beatles#wu has made is so only jays spider is allowed after the green ninja prophecy was gonna be put to an abrupt end#nya is not sorry#neither is Lloyd#Poor Zane
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I'm not even 15 minutes into rewatching Interstellar and I think there is a chance my imagination is running wild again . . .
I have at least half a loose fic plot already hELP.
#okay brace yourself these tags are gonna be long. sorry in advance. now picture this:#carlando are on earth. carlos goes on the mission to find a new home for humanity. lando stays behind and is upset about carlos leaving#the mission also includes oscar. martin is on earth and one of lando's friends who supports him while he's missing carlos#osc and carlos start on the wrong foot but get along more along the way. idk who else is on the mission use your imagination for now#yadda yadda space shenanigans . . . relativity . . . fun stuff#black hole time. carlos sacrifices himself to save osc so that he has a chance to find a new home for humanity#osc is devastated. carcar crumbs. they were all they had left for a while. and now osc is alone#carlos gets a message back to lando thanks to black hole magic. lando realizes that carlos never abandoned him at all.#lando leads the project to save humanity from earth w/ carlos' intel. once successful he goes on to live a long full life.#as much as he still loves carlos he knows that he might not come back until the very end of lando's life. if at all.#he knows carlos wouldn't want him to be alone and unhappy if he couldn't be there. norrix becomes canon and they have a happy life together#carlos is found many many years later virtually unaged thanks to relativity. he has a chance to say goodbye to lando who's very very old#he's happy that he helped save earth and that lando was able to have a good life. he missed so much time but at least it was worth it#there's just one more thing he feels the need to do. osc is still out there. on the planet that will be humanity's new home. all alone#he commandeers a ship and goes to find him. he has lost so much already . . . but he has a chance to hold onto at least one thing#he loved lando with his whole heart. and even though lando is gone . . . maybe he can still have a happy life of his own#*and scene*#yeah i think that's like half the plot right there . . .#i'm committing. it's going on the list#interstellar au#which at various times will feature:#carlando#norrix#carcar#this is one of my top 10 fave movies this project will definitely receive a lot of care
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also like speaking of college joe'marr....one of my favorite headcanons is like, yeah, ja'marr probably hero worshiped/had a big crush on the new hot older super talented QB....but i also think joe had a very inconvenient little crush on ja'marr
like joe said himself that thought of his time at LSU as a master's/internship type program but for football instead of any real school curriculum (lol). he had just spent 3 years at OSU /not/ playing football and it was all he wanted to do. now that he had this chance at LSU he was going to buckle up and take it as seriously as possible (he took all online classes and spent as much time as he could at the facility, living and breathing football as much as possible).
so like, he did NOT plan on getting distracted by the cute freshman with the million watt smile and easy warm nature. this kid who would try to joke with him but never try to talk with him without justin or terrace around. this kid with all this god-given talent but no clue how to actually watch film and improve from it. but hey! nothing always goes 100% to plan!
#but i mean look up college freshman baby ja'marr how could joe resist tbh??#and you know the chemistry didn't quite get there until the end of ja'marr's freshman year#the very important for the Lore fiesta bowl#(where ja'marr himself said it finally clicked for him and joe)#and then came the summer of 10000 catches!! where joe and the receivers spent all summer throwing together and going to the gym#and like they're finally getting to know each other. get slightly more comfortable with each other off the field as they thrive on the fiel#and maybe the crush isn't so inconvenient anymore because it actually comes very in handy that joe is always Aware of ja'marr#and where he is and what he's doing#is ja'marr aware that joe is always Staring at him??#well i have a HC for that as well actually lol#a very clear scene in my head of justin trying to talk to joe about something during practice#and then he realizes that joe is absolutely paying no attention to him#and instead is just watching a shirtless sweating in the louisiana heat ja'marr who's laughing with terrace across the field#and justin is like 'well. that's interesting' and messes with joe about it#and DEFINITELY brings it up to ja'marr later like 'yo i think joe wants in your pants bro'#and ja'marr thinks he's just fucking around#but DOES start to notice that yeah. joe's always staring#and he just has to add that in his 'stuff to figure out about joe's expressions' folder he has stored in his brain#ANYWAY this got long but i love thinking about college joe'marr#joe'marr#nfl rpf
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Can we talk about how if the theory that Oh Il Nam ( the old man , player 001 ) is In Ho's father , making him Jun Ho's father as well since they don't have the same mother ( Jun Ho's mother calls herself In Ho's stepmother meaning they're related by the paternal side ) This makes Jun Ho literally the HEIR to the Squid games đ . His father made / hosted the Squid games for a long time , [ not sure if he created them but he was most definitely in charge for it all for a while ] AND his brother became the game master / frontman who over sees the games and makes sure everything is in working order ... This reveal will be so damn interesting to see , like will Jun Ho still go through with finding and destroying the games or will he hesitate since it was his literal family who created it in the first place ? Or even Take Over ... đ¤
#squid game#squid games#squid game theory#squid game 2#squid game 3#hwang jun ho#hwang in ho#oh il nam#We gotta wait until the end of the year for it âšď¸#It'll definitely be worth it I mean this show is massive#And you know what else is massive ...#In Ho's homosexuality#Jk but seriously#This theory is super fucking interesting#I can't wait to see everything come together and all will be revealed
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I would eat this up so hard
WAIT I DIDNâT SEE THIS ASK BEFORE, TUMBLR HID IT FROM ME!!!
But yeah. At some point I will write it!! I have a bunch of little scenes in my head like that.
#fic tag â to fall is to learn one way#(I guess???)#other scenes I need to write:#Hera yelling at Zeus like âI donât care whether you regret what you did!!! right now you need to STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!!â#(my thoughts on the Zeus situation by the way:#I think he does regret it#he definitely had a moment of âwait what am I doing???â and thatâs why he didnât kill Athena#and why he let Odysseus go#but heâs never going to admit that#so heâs pulling the classic âparent who went too farâ move#of just trying to act like it didnât happen#heâs never going to apologise#as far as heâs concerned? letting Odysseus go WAS the apology#and I think Athena probably understands that#and she really would like to just leave it at that!!!#but itâs not that simple#on the one hand⌠you could argue that the open arms approach worked!#she doesnât really fight back at the end of God Games#she just keeps going until sheâs literally on the floor#effectively pleading both for Odysseusâ life and her own#and Zeus stops. he listens.#and yet it does kind of seem like maybe he sees it as a trade#like âokay. I blinded you in one eye. Iâm going to give your friend one last chance to get home. weâre even nowâ#who knows? maybe after that heâs not quite so quick to throw lightning at people#and maybe Athena really does want to move on#and yet still it comes back to the fact that she asked her dad for help. she did exactly what he said. and then he nearly killed her#and like sure her eye is visible proof that she is not who she used to be#because the Athena of ten years ago would never have gone to such lengths#but she shouldnât need the proof! it should never have happened!#I just think about all this a lot
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There are few things that annoy Dazai the most.
The first one is definitely losing to Edogawa senpai in the school exam ranking (he's aiming for first place this year, it's his last chance before Edogawa graduates, studying seriously for once in his life).
The second one is the most important, but also the trickiest. He absolutely hates that Chuuya is so popular. Every year since last year of middle school, when they met when Chuuya transferred to their school from France, Dazai is forced to watch boys and girls and anything in between fall in love with the red head. The amount of chocolate every Valentine's is frankly appalling. Or worst - the amount of times Chuuya has been called from class to receive a confession or an invitation to Christmas dates or to walk together during the cultural festival.
Dazai feels like murdering every single one of those ugly and annoying teenagers who dares to breathe the same air that Chuuya. Odasaku and Ango are always looking at him weirdly when he says those things aloud so he just stares and glares silently. And writes in his Chuuya diary (but that's a secret).
And here he is, second year of high school, having to go through another Valentine's Day yet again.
Everything is going as he predicted and that's annoying him a bit too much that it's starting to show. Dazai himself received some chocolates, both romantic and friendly, and gave none (although there is a little heart shaped box hidden in his bag and he refuses to think about it). Chuuya already has an overflowing bag of chocolates beside his feet by his desk, and there's probably more to come and Dazai is seriously considering murder.
But it's okay, everything's okay. Chuuya never once before accepted any of the confessions. It's fine.
(Dazai is definitely not biting into his metaphorical handkerchief, he's not)
(maybe on the way back home today, he canâ)
"Chuuya-kun!"
Dazai turned his head so quickly, his neck made an odd clicking sound that hurt, but he ignored it because standing by the door with a grin and a square box of chocolate in one hand, was Edogawa Ranpo.
"Senpai." Chuuya greeted, voice composed although his expression was of confusion.
Edogawa walked inside their class as if it was normal and paused beside the red haired boy, putting his little chocolate box on his table without another word.
"There's a cafĂŠ I want to go to, I heard their pancakes are delicious. What do you think?" Edogawa asked, shocking everyone around.
Never once before the third year showed any interest in anyone.
Chuuya blushed. Chuuya blushed. Chuuya never blushes.
Oh no, oh no, no, no nononononoâ
"Today...?" Chuuya asked, voice breaking at the end.
"If you're free." Edogawa's grin widened.
"Iâ Yes! I mean, yes. I can go."
Dazai will murder Edogawa, to hell with seniority.
"Chuuyaâ" Dazai started, only to be cut by another senior.
"Oy, Ranpo-san, class is starting." Yosano-senpai said, lowering her phone, clearly taking pictures of what happened.
"See you later, Chuuya-kun." the older boy waved sweetly and walked out of class.
There are few things that annoy Dazai the most, but only one thing he hates.
And that thing is called Edogawa Ranpo.
#ranpo definitely won first place again in the ranking that year#and then went to uni knowing very well what he did to dazai#alt ending 1: ranchuu didn't date for long bc both weren't that interested in each other#dazai confesses somewhere between two to three months later#alt ending 2: ranchuu dating until uni then dazai drama the happy ever after#alt ending 3: throuple!#you choose#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs fanfic#bsd nakahara chuuya#bsd dazai osamu#bsd edogawa ranpo#soukoku fanfic#ranchuu#dazai x chuuya#ranpo x chuuya#bsd fanfic#dazai x chuuya fanfic#ranpo is a little shit#dazai is jealous#alternate universe#high school au#dazai is definitely gay panicking#look at me writing for different fandoms in the same week#man it's been a while#happy to do it tho#my writing#bnnywngs writing#free to use with credit
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The final property is peaceful but no longer for sale because it's where Home's home is đ¤
#april.txt#peaceful property#peaceful property on sale#at the end the family includes p'surradech that's the most important thing#this show is very consistent in plot-twisting i was still got some 'hah' until the last episode#but everything is very fitting and concluding in its own way#another show i'm having a post finale hangover#definitely among my most beloved series this year
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in case it wasnât clear enough
#TO BE FAIR i never really seriously considered gandhi n toph until recently#when i started looking at their potential future dynamic in a more rival-ish way#ofc not actually rivals but definitely some sort of hostile bond#which really contrasts in a good way how they both feel about abe#ok time to take a break from posting art#also i know last year i NOT INTENTIONALLY peaced out like. a month after s2 ended#but idk whatâs going on this time mayve ill actualy keep checking the tag regularly#clone high#gandhi clone high#abe clone high#topher bus#we got#gandhabe#tophabe#tophdi#odieart#mine
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Enough time has passed to where I think we can openly admit how WK has gone through seasonal rot within its previous 2 seasons and how the hype of Season 7 along with the generally positive reception is a really green flag for the show's quality.
#wild kratts#pbs kids#kratt brothers#martin kratt#chris kratt#pbs kids go#2d kratt brothers#2d martin kratt#2d chris kratt#because season 5 and 6 were.... not good to say the least#S5 took a hard plummet in quality after the Alaska special#Idk how to describe it but episodes felt more flat and basic more often than not despite there being several good ones in the mix too#S6 was slightly better but still felt more two-dimensional and basic and oddly oversaturated (and I don't just mean in the color palate)#I know Season 7's only been out for barely a year and we've only had 8-10 episodes released#But I do think that this season is substantially different than the previous two.#It feels a lot more experimental in its concepts whilst utilizing the show's strengths#Sometimes it works like with Clever the Raven or the Blue and Green special#Sometimes it doesn't like with the Mudskipper episode#But you can tell that they've some ideas in mind that you definitely wouldn't find in other seasons.#It genuinely makes me both curious and optimistic. Bc again it took 2 years to film this season.#There's definitely more time put into the writing process as earlier seasons.#I'm gonna hold some reservations until the season ends but it's shaping up to be pretty good so far.
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Happy birthday Yuzuki Yukari (12/22)! Great time to post my Yukari 2024 YT playlist, with every Yukari song I enjoyed that came out this year. Also if you follow me feel free to blacklist "hbd yukari 2024" if you don't want the queue spam today.
#will be updated until the year ends because there's definitely gonna be some end-of-year releases for the birthday#also happy birthday akari but hey this is a yukari account#vocal synth#vocaloid#yuzuki yukari#hbd yukari 2024
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Revenant Side Stories
Story II: Graves
[Story 1 - Konchar] [AO3]
Ah yes, the oneshot I promised 4 months ago. I got sidetracked with bloodhunger, and I'm still busy with uni (when am I not...), but I finally found time to write Graves' story! I'll be honest, I kinda procrastinated on this because I wasn't sure I would be able to really capture his voice correctly, but I like how this turned out.
I got a few more characters on the list for side stories, but if you're interested in seeing anyone in particular, you're welcome to suggest them!
âYouâre such a piece of shit, Graves!â
Philip smiles as wide as his mouth full of dry MRE cake allows him to, âI know youâre the one that put boot polish inside my shoes two weeks ago, Collins. Paybackâs a bitch, ainât it?â
Collinsâ face twists in anger, in a way that is quite satisfying to him, âI was fuckinâ saving that cake for after the op.â
âI know.â Philip swallows, grin finally able to stretch across his face. Collin doesnât grace him with another reply, instead stomping away while muttering curses under his breath. Serves him right.
He leans back against the armored truck theyâll use for infil, in about half an hour from now. Heâs been ready far before that, always the first on the tarmac. He has to, if he wants to be in his superior officersâ good graces, if he wants that promotion.
Being a Corporal is nice and all, but Philip aims higher than that. He thinks â no, knows he wasnât made to follow orders till the day he dies. No, heâs much better suited to command, to lead, to make the final call.
He just needs to make the higher brass see that as well.
Among the buzzing activity of the final preparations for the upcoming operation, Philip spots Lieutenant Reed inspecting a crate of equipment. The man is build like a shit brick house, all 6â4 inches of pure muscle. Thatâs not to mention the Lieutenantâs special little revenant status, which makes sure that even if you manage to shoot the giant bastard, heâll get back up quicker than any human being should. Apparently, healing powers are quite common for soldier revenants, not that it matters when their kind is as rare as it is.
A pang of jealousy shoots through him, at the sheer power the man clearly exudes just by standing there. It goes away quickly enough.
Lieutenant Reed is a great commander, donât get him wrong, but Philip always thought he was too⌠caught up by his own moral compass. More concerned with doing whatâs just, instead of doing whatâs right. Admirable, but dangerous on the field.
A man who puts his and his squadâs life over the mission, is not a man who will go far. A man that puts things like righteousness over the missionâŚ
Philip pities him, really. Reed couldâve been a General by now, if he understood that. But heâs grateful, in a way, that the Lieutenant is the way he is, to teach him this lesson.
The Lieutenantâs eyes meet his, and he motions with his head to move. He ruminated around long enough â time to get to work.
The mission is simple, a milk run, really. When he enlisted, Philip expected to be constantly fighting, to truly feel with each shot how he changes things in the world.
He sure didnât expect to be loaded up in the back of a truck with five other soldiers, and act as basically a glorified delivery man, transporting gear to an American base in another part of a foreign country.
Those were the fantasies of a younger, stupider Philip. He now knows just how much is required to upkeep a base, both from first-hand experience and from his studies on his time off. After all, being the best doesnât only come down to his physical abilities, it demands the best mind, the strongest will, the smartest of tactics.
This means heâs got less time to socialize with the soldiers in his unit, but heâs truly not mourning that. They seem like a bunch of idiots anyway. It only motivates him further to get the next promotion, if only to get away from them.
The downside to that, is that Philip barely knows the last names of the people currently in the truck with him. Lieutenant Reed is in a truck ahead of theirs, his rank high enough to grant him the privilege of not being shoved between crates and sweaty recruits.
Philip keeps half of his attention on the low conversation between the soldiers next to him, scanning the empty, dry grasslands surrounding the road.
âHeard the fellas up north have been attacked, last time a convoy went through.â a soldier he thinks might be Johnson murmurs.
Collins answers from the other side of the truck, âyup, I got a friend there. Two from his unit died.â
Maybe-Johnson shakes his head with a huff, âfuckinâ gangs man⌠The US might as well fund them, with the amount of supplies they drive right to their doorstepâŚâ
âThink weâll meet them today?â another soldier joins (Gonzalez? Fuck if he knows).
âIf we do, Iâm going to wipe âem out.â Collins grins, and Philip has to suppress the urge to roll his eyes. He couldnât wipe out his grandma, let alone several trained gang members. ââSidesâ he continues, âwe got the LT on our side.â
Gonzalez (???) laughs, âdamn right we do! Canât kill a man twice, can ya?â
Philip internally groans, jaw tightening. They think Reed is some sort of immortal, just because he died once and survived. A fucking bullet to the head would kill him all the same. The only thing the Lieutenant is truly invincible from is infection and diseases - what originally killed him. If any of these bastards ever bothered to pick up a book, theyâd know that.
He apparently didnât manage to school his features well enough, since Collins turns to address him, âwhatâs with the face, Graves?â
Philip does roll his eyes this time, âjust because Reed is a revenant doesnât mean yâall can just sit back and relax, heâs just one person.â
The road theyâre on cuts through a hill, casting long shadows over them.
âYeah, a person that heals from a stab wound in half an hour!â
âThose are just rumors.â Philip spits, âhave any of you ever looked at the actual reports??â
A few soldiers groan as Collins answers, ânot all of us are fuckinâ suckups, bro.â
Philip watches the lot of them laugh, a sharp smile slowly spreading on his lips, ânot all of us are going to become Sergeants, bro.â
The laughter dies, Collinsâ face twists in anger familiarly, âyouâve always been a piece of shit-â
The world becomes bright white for a moment, screams Philip later registers as his own rip out of his chest as the truck swerves and crashes.
His ears ring, limbs refusing to listen to his orders. âHrgh⌠shitâŚâ he forces his eyes open, as his hearing returns.
Gunshots flash between the wreckage and the top of the hills, soldiers taking cover behind the upturned truck. It seems like he was the only one blown away this far.
The fuckinâ gang mustâve hit him directly. Just his damn luck.
Philip tries to crawl forward, not particularly keen on staying alone with no cover, but even that small movement shoots intense pain through his body, his vision darkening for a few seconds. He winces, carefully turning to look at his torso and legs.
He swallows down the bile rising to his mouth, blinking down at the deep craters at his right hip. That⌠canât be his own body, right? He thinks he sees bone.
Another RPG whistles through the air, missing the truck by only a few feet. His squad turns around, shooting down the gang members attempting to corner them from their flank.
He needs to get to them. They should have enough knowledge of first aid to at least stop the bleeding, or give him a stim shot, fuckinâ anything!
Philip starts screaming, âHELP!!! IâM STILL ALIVE!!!!!â he grits his teeth, desperation starting to crack his voice as he realizes he might actually die here, âCOLLINS!!! GONZALEZ!!! HELP!!!!!â
Hope bubbles within him when he sees Collins turn his head to his direction, searching for the source of the shouts in the shadows. Philip raises his arm as far as he can, waving it to catch Collinsâ attention.
He thinks it might be the first time he ever felt actual happiness to see Collinsâ stupid green eyes lock onto his.
âI CANâT MOVE, YOU GOTTA FUCKINâ HELP ME!â he yells, pointing to his right leg.
Collinsâ eyes trail down, to the puddle of blood coloring the grass under Philip red. He lifts a hand to his comms, mouth moving too fast for him to read.
He mustâve reported his condition to Reed. Collins is not completely useless, Philip muses.
Collins nods in response to whatever Reed told him, and Philipâs heart drops when he turns away from him, and points to the forest.
They⌠theyâre not gonna run, are they? Theyâre not gonna leave him here, bathing in his own damn blood, right?!
Yet, thatâs exactly what they do. The five soldiers, his own teammates, wait for an opening in the relentless shooting from the hostiles, and run. Without him.
Philip shouts again, anger now booming through his throat, âCOLLINS! YOU FUCKING COWARD, COME BACK!!! DONâT LEAVE ME HERE, IâLL DIE!!!!! WEâRE ON THE SAME SIDE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT, HELP- HELP ME!!!â
Collins doesnât even look back once, and Philip watches the figures of his squad disappear between the trees. He screams in frustration, hands shaking in fury.
His mind returns to the moment Collins nodded. Lieutenant Reed⌠he mustâve told them to disengage. Ordered them to leave him behind to bleed out.
A hysterical laugh shakes his shoulders. So much for âno man left behindâ, eh, Lieutenant? Fucking hypocrite. Philip hopes that wherever revenants go after they die, Reed will suffer for the rest of his existence.
His laugh devolves into choked sobs when the reality of his situation sinks in. Heâs gonna die. Heâs going to die because his own team abandoned him.
Philip always knew they were useless, but he expected them to at least not fuckinâ betray him, yâknow?Â
As his vision fades for the last time, Philip smiles. Not because he accepts his fate, no.
But itâs nice to know he was right, the whole damn time.
âPhilip Gravesâ
âGravesâ
âGravesâ
Philipâs eyes snap open, and he inhales sharply. It takes him a few moments to comprehend heâs not in that damn valley he was abandoned in. Heâs⌠not anywhere on Earth⌠is he?
His own reflection stares at him, multiplied over countless times, like a hall of mirrors in a carnival. He raises a hand to his right side, pressing tentatively at first, and digging into the muscles when he realizes his wounds have been healed.
âŚWhat is this place?
âThis is my Realmâ
âRealmâ
âRealmâ
Several voices echo around him, and Philip looks around only to see his own wide blue eyes.
âW-where are you?!â he snarls, fear beating at his heart.
âUpâ
âUpâ
âUpâ
He cranes his head up, mouth opening in shock at the creature above him.
A writhing mass of limbs coils onto itself, arms and legs and faces, creating the vague shape of a person. Its face is blank, nothing but a maw.Â
âYouâre⌠a ReaperâŚâ Philip mutters dumbly.
âThe Reaper of Manyâ
âManyâ
âManyâ
The Reaper leans closer, Philipâs body shaking at the sheer scale of it, âso I did d-die.â
He doesnât know how, but he gets the feeling the Reaper grins at the words.
âYESâ âYESâ âYESâ a terrifying chorus of voices confirms. The twitching limbs seem to move quicker in excitement, âTELL ME, PHILIP GRAVES, WHAT DO YOU WANT?â
âWHAT DO YOU WANT?â
âWHAT DO YOU WANT?â
Philip covers his ears at the screeching Reaper, eyes squeezed shut in agony. In the back of his mind, he remembers the transcript from interviews of revenants, of this very question they all had to respond to.
Of the identical answer they all give.
âI just- I JUST WANT TO LIVE!!!â
Philipâs quick breaths slow down, when the Reaper doesnât scream again.
âI just want to liveâŚâ he repeats, opening his eyes and lowering his arms. After a few moments of nothing, he finds the courage to look up.
The Reaperâs hand is hovering above him, finger uncurled and pointing to him.
âGive me your soul, Philip Graves, and Iâll let you liveâÂ
âliveâÂ
âLIVEâ
Philip nods shakily, âItâs yours, Reaper.â
Giggling bounces between the mirrors surrounding him, gleeful and horrendous. The finger moves closer, Philip leaning back on instinct alone. It feels like his blood is boiling over, brain liquifying into mush, yet he physically canât open his mouth to scream.
âFrom this day on, until the day you die, Philip Graves, you are mine.â
âMineâ
âMINEâ
The Reaper touches his forehead, his vision flashing with bright colors he doesnât have a name to.
âMy revenant, Revenant of Manyâ
âManyâ
âMANYâ
âMANYâ
âMA-â
Someone is shaking his arm. Philip pushes away, scrambling back. He opens his eyes.
Something decidedly not human greets him.
âThe fuck-â Philip curses.
âThe fuck-â the creature answers. It doesnât have a mouth, or any defining features. Barely a dark shape, like someone cut out the silhouette of a person out of the fabric of reality.
Philip feels an odd presence in his mind, like dozens of eyes looking up at him, awaiting command.
The valley is quiet. He looks up at the hills, finding more shapes lingering, all looking at him. Philip looks back at the one that touched him.
âWhat are you?â
The shape answers by echoing his voice, â-you?â
Philip breathes out a small laugh, hand carding into his hair in amazement.
His admiration of his new powers is cut short by the sound of an engine. Philip jumps to his feet, body still feeling a phantom pain of sorts, and orders his shapes, âdisappear.â
In a blink, the shapes melt away into the shadows. He runs to the woods, taking cover behind a thick tree trunk when the vehicle rolls around the bend into the valley.
Philipâs eyes narrow when he sees that the vehicle is none other than the US militaryâs. He averts his eyes, scrutinizing the setting sun. It has been at least several hours since Collins and his group of dickheads left him to die.
The vehicle stops near the wreckage, the fire burning the truck long extinguished. Lieutenant Reed out of all people climbs out, instantly ordering his men to clear the area of hostiles. Burning rage ignites within Philip at the sight.
Without his will, the shadows around him materialize, blank faces all staring at him.
He gets an idea. Itâs stupid, and frankly will probably put him in a lot more trouble than itâs worth, but honestly Philip literally died a few hours ago and so did his fucks to give.
âSeize them.â he tells his shapes, his Shadows.
The dozen or so Shadows instantly start running, tackling the squad of soldiers. Philip barely contains a laugh at their terrified screams. One of them manages a shot on a Shadow, but the creature simply ignores the gaping hole in his thigh, and wrestles the man down.
Lieutenant Reed needs two Shadows to force him to kneel, but soon enough they all stay down, lined up on the dirt road.
âIf this is how it feels to be a revenant, I would be a cocky bastard tooâ, Philip thinks to himself while looking at Reed.
âLieutenant, what the fuck are these- these things?!â one soldier asks frantically.
Reed growls, fruitlessly attempting to shake off the Shadow restraining him, ârevenant powers. But Iâve never seen something like this-â
Philip chooses this moment to reveal himself, âimpressive, arenât they? Iâd say theyâre a fair trade to dying, wouldnât you, Lieutenant?â
Lieutenant Reedâs face slackens in shock, â...Corporal Graves?â
He smiles unkindly, âthe one and only. Tell meâŚâ he crouches in front of Reed, âwhen you ordered Collins and his group of bumbling idiots to abandon me and run away, did you even feel a speck of remorse? If not for me, at least for my poor mother, that wouldâve had to live with the fact the men that were supposed to be on his side left him to die?â
The Lieutenant at least seemed to pretend to be horrified, âI- it was the Commander, not me, Graves. I didnât make the call to leave you behind, kid-â
Philip cuts him off with a few slow claps, âwow, Lieutenant. Iâve already gathered youâre a fuckinâ hypocrite, but a liar as well? You shouldâve been an actor instead of a soldier, sir. Youâve got a natural talent right there.â
His digging remarks only seem to make Reed more guilty, â...I may have not made that order, but I take responsibility over my soldiers. You didnât deserve to die, Graves. Iâm sorry.â
Philip falters at the genuinely heartfelt apology. He didnât expect Reed to actually be sorry about it. It only twists something in his gut further.
Philipâs voice loses the mocking tone it had before, âyou have nothing to apologize for, sir. Without you, I wouldâve never received such power.â he spreads his arms, motioning to his Shadows.
Reedâs brows curve upwards, regret painting his features, âreally, I should thank you, Lieutenant.â
Philip grins as wide as his mouth allows him, not a lick of joy within it, âthank you, for letting me die alone.â
He knew heâll get in trouble once he arrives back to base, but he didnât expect Major Shepherd to be the one disciplining him.
Philip knows to dread the punishment the moment the Major opens the door, his face severe as ever as he dismissed the other officers in the room.
He rises to his feet, saluting the Major, before the man waves him off.
Shepherd takes the sit in front of him, staring him down for a few tense moments before speaking, âCorporal Philip Graves. Do you know how much shit youâve put yourself into, with that little âprankâ you did to Lieutenant Reed and his squad?â
Philip doesnât shy away from the Majorâs burning gaze, âyes sir.â
Shepherd doesnât look impressed, âthe Lieutenant told me about your powers. Which Reaper got you?â
âReaper of Many, sir.â
âReaper of Many⌠canât say Iâve met a revenant from it.â the Major drawls, âmost of your kind belongs to the Reaper of Flesh.â
The one in charge of healing⌠Reedâs Reaper.
âYour powers are exceptionally strong, Graves.â Shepherd smiles, oddly enough.
Philip blinks, taken off guard by the praise, â... thank you, sir?â
The Major leans back, his demeanor less serious, âno need for formalities right now, Graves. Iâd like to speak to you as an equal at the moment.â
âŚWhat is the Majorâs angle here? He doesnât seem angry at him anymore.
âAbout what?â
Shepherd smirks, something about it raising the hairs on Philipâs arms, âWhat do you see yourself doing, four, five years down the line?â
â...What?â
âYour aspirations, Graves. Aiming for Lieutenant? Captain?â
Philip frowns in confusion, âCommander, sir.â
âCommander, huh?â Shepherd hums, âI have a⌠proposition for you, Graves.â
Proposition? âIâm listening.â
âWhat do you think about PMCs?â
The rapid change in topic leaves Philip unsteady in his answers, âtheyâre⌠I think theyâre necessary, but Iâd rather stay with the US military. I want to fight for my country.â
Shepherd looks⌠disappointed? âListen, son. I think youâre a great soldier, and you have been given great power to control. People like you⌠the military will just hold you back.â
Philip inhales deeply. Is Shepherd saying what he thinks heâs saying?
The Major continues, âI think youâll do much better outside the red tape, Philip.â he pulls out a contract, a frankly absurdly high stack of papers, âIâd like you to work for me. Not as my subordinate, but as a collaborator.â
Philip stares at the papers, âyou⌠you want me to leave the army?â
âExactly. I want you to become your own PMC. I believe, with your amount of strength, other soldiers will just get in your way.â Shepherd adds, almost like an afterthought, âand you wonât need to worry about any sort of punishment about your actions today, your death will be completely redacted, and the Lieutenant ordered to keep his mouth shut.â
He looks back at the Majorâs eyes, deep gratitude welling inside him. Shepherd offers his hand to him, right above the contract that will finally grant him what he worked years for, as easily as writing his own name.
Graves takes the offering, and shakes the Majorâs hand.
âMy Shadows will be at your service, Shepherd.â
Shepherd smiles, satisfied, âalready prepared for your first mission, Commander Graves?â
Commander Graves. He thought it would take years until he was granted the name.
Graves flashes a grin, âwas reborn ready, Major.â
#call of duty modern warfare 2#cod mw2#phillip graves#general shepherd#revenant au#call of duty fic#call of duty fanfic#call of duty modern warfare#cod fic#cod fanfic#again this wont really make sense if you havent read rev au part 1!#obviously (spoilers) graves is dead by the end of part 1#but shepherd will definitely be present for part 2... hope you can see his hunger for power here#and his want to keep it for himself#next up will be Gaz!#Price is also on the list but idk when I'll write his...#i got like less than 2 weeks until the year ends and im. stressed. so stressed.#so i dont think youll be seeing me until then
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ny questions: 23!
But SERIOUSLY this has been a really important year for me - I started living on my own, I started dating again, I repaired a lot of relationships I had long abandoned, I started LEAVING THE HOUSE đŁď¸ ! And at every cusp I was terrified it would only result in my life getting worse, another breakdown, another tragedy - and I won't lie there have been some painful setbacks but at the end of the day I would let my 2024 self know 'You are strong enough for this - you have enough in you to not Just Survive anymore' or something cheesy like that hehe
New Years Asks Here ! đđ
#what a bullshit answer#utter trash doodles#utter bullshit#anon#ask game#this is definitely a hard thing to answer - i really felt at the end of the year I had fallen through every crack and I was just gonna keep#getting sicker and sicker until i was too weak to eat or breathe anymore. and how Im posing in a HOOP IN THE AIR#and i feel very loved and whole#and Im a dog#bark bark
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The Many Illustrators of A Tale of Two Cities 15: Charles Keeping
Keeping This One Brief

Our second in the spooky subseries is a set by Charles Keeping, a famed English illustrator, children's book author, and lithographer who, among his many other accomplishments, illustrated the entirety of Dickens's work for the Folio Society.
This set is unique among all those we've seen so far, both for its recentness (call its publication date a Bowling for Soup song the way it's "1985"đ¤Ş) and for its source:
Rather than being from a large public resource like the Internet Archive or from my own personal scans, these are all coming from the personal blog of Derrick J. Knight, a fellow netizen who just so happens to have scanned the illustrations of the book he was reading and uploaded them to the Internet for all to see.

Out of gratitude and respect for giving these precious rarities of illustrations to the public, I'm going to keep this post simple and straightforward, with no post-notes.
Here they are (fair warning, a couple of these are pretty gory):























That's it! Thank you, Charles Keeping and Derrick J. Knight!
& the standard endnote for all posts in this series:
This post is intended to act as the start of a forum on the given illustrator, so if anyone has anything to add - requests to see certain drawings in higher definition (since Tumblr compresses images), corrections to factual errors, sources for better-quality versions of the illustrations, further reading, fun facts, any questions, or just general commentary - simply do so on this post, be it in a comment/tags or the replies!đŤ
#A Tale of Two Cities#AToTC#dickens#charles dickens#bookblr#litblr#literature#classic literature#victorian literature#vintage illustration#illustration#illustrators#Charles Keeping#1980s#atotc spoilers#god do I love spooky subseries month. I've really saved some good ones for it#I don't actually usually research the illustrator until I'm making the post and I have to say both so far have been so fascinating#such different backgrounds in terms of what they were famous for outside of these specific illustrations!#I'm definitely going to be looking into Keeping's work. I really like his sensibilities#especially in the stuff that he had the time to be more elaborate with#imagine what he could have done with the novel if he weren't doing. literally every other work by dickens too#also just one more time let's thank derrick j knight. don't know when or how we would have ever seen these without him!#(also a note that the cover comes from a different place again)#by the way.....đ................this is a queued post!!!!!!!! it's HAPPENING people i'm doing the queue RIGHT NOW (october 5)#gonna queue up all the rest for this series through the end of the yearâşď¸wow...
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