#didn't expect to keep getting discourse abt this but i have thoughts

[trans-seraphim]

If you want to understand why some people assigned female at birth claim a transfem identity, you should look into the "boys' love" genre and the communities/academic research about it

these people fetishize male femininity, they want to be like the male characters in this genre. The reason is always the same. They see trans women as men who wear dresses

i'm actually an asian studies major with a focus on japan, and i took a class on youth culture, so i'm not unfamiliar with this.

firstly, let's not let it get away from us that the term "fetish" when discussing gender identity is common transphobic rhetoric. taking the side of trans women does not let you escape this.

while i think a fixation with male femininity does not encapsulate everyone's reasons for identifying in such a way, it feels accurate for a certain subset. i've seen certain explanations that lead me towards that understanding.

the connection to BL is, in my mind, a bit spurious, but i understand how you arrived at that. i would definitely characterize BL fans as having that fixation. additionally, i would say they have a fixation with the homoerotic, but one which still allows them to maintain the integrity of their sexuality. the BL fan is able to enjoy the taboo of queer sexuality while avoiding it "tainting" their self-understanding, as their heterosexuality means they ought to be attracted to both characters involved. trying to map that understanding onto the AFAB trans woman feels difficult, to say the least. they can enjoy the taboo of queer gender without it "tainting" their femininity, maybe? i don't really see it.

when i look at my feelings on the matter reductively, it does feel like they are seeing trans women as men in dresses. looking past that, however, it feels more like trans women are positioned as people who resist masculinity by embracing femininity. the trans woman is treated as though her masculinity is stuck to her - to have had the experience of masculinity marks her as aberrant - and it must be actively shirked, even atoned for. for someone raised under the expectation of femininity, to resist their own masculinity is not as radical an action.

however, in the context of patriarchal gender norms and liberal feminism, resisting masculinity in general is an end in and of itself, and perhaps that battle is applied internally as well. (i would also like to note that resisting masculinity and its supposedly predatory and oppressive nature was, rather famously, among michfest's justifications for excluding trans women. figuring out the exact way this connects to my previous point is left as an exercise for the reader.) for the transmasc AFAB trans woman in particular, which is an extant category, it may become an exercise in denying the privilege of masculinity they have obtained. (see michfest again, and its willingness to allow trans men.) trans women, in this sense, become a potent image - people whose masculinity is stuck to them, but who sacrifice the privilege it brings.

to me, the AFAB people i understand identifying as trans women - and i use that phrasing intentionally - have, for one reason or another, had that experience of being excluded from femininity or expected to perform masculinity. (i've seen the most reasonable takes come from intersex trans women, which should be no surprise.) i have seen them express resentment at the idea of identifying as an "AFAB trans woman" in specific, as their life experiences have already laid bare the arbitrary nature of birth assignment.

i think saying someone with an F on their birth certificate categorically cannot identify as a "trans woman" is reductive, a perspective i have come to after looking more into the topic. however, i think if one is compelled to identify as an "AFAB trans woman," they should take a deep look at the reason they have for centering their assigned gender in their identity - a thing they are very willing to accuse trans women of doing. to highlight one's AFABness is perhaps to purport a more legitimate access to the title of "woman", which is in direct opposition to any transfeminism i recognize or respect.

[sparklingchim]

told you i had a darly sixth sense! read the chapter and scanned the asks so i have a couple of thoughts!

first of all ylm jk you frustrate me so!!! he so effortlessly shows how much he loves oc and how attentive he is and can be, so i'm sure he's realized that she's not so fulfilled nowadays with how their relationship is going but he's just choosing to ignore it for now. my brother in christ grow a pair!! love's starting to not be enough!! and you've got a baddie at your side who's slowly but surely growing tired......

i know we barely know our mc so i guess opinions on her might be a bit mixed rn but i'm definitely on her defending squad and i didn't appreciate that some of you weren't putting respect on her name.... like yeah we all see how privileged she is and that "she knew what she was getting into" but that's the point, he clearly once knew how to handle everything but now he is not as careful with striking a work-life balance and she is entitled to be upset about this relationship becoming something she did not sign up for, he set expectations up and i don't think we can blame her for being disappointed (oooh darly isn't it fun how your work generates discourse!)

i just had a silly little thought/an au for this story that since yk pregnancy/motherhood is a topic here and this last chapter was so focused on how easy it is for oc to be with yumi so maybe they separate but she's pregnant (obviously in this scenario both of them are in agreement in terms of keeping the baby no matter the circumstances)..... it'd be so interesting to see how they would navigate their separation, since it would be a kind of death occurring at the same time as a birth. i don't know, just something that came across my mind!

i think all that's left are some questions i have! i'm sure you've said it before but i just can't remember: will they only be separating or actually going through with a divorce? aaaand two parts??? we're in for a ride! will it be pre and post separation or is it still all going down in part one? (maybe you can't answer any of these and that's totally fine!)

anyways, my heart becomes achey with these two no matter how sweet some parts may be so i think we'd all do good with ego season next, if that floats your boat (as always, no pressure at all, managing one story is already hard, your pace deserves our respect and whatever you prefer to work our appreciation)

it's always lovely reading you, sorry for the essay i just dropped in your inbox; lots of love,

bloom 💐

omg everyone shush miss bloom is here !!!!!

ur so right ! he knows her so well and notices everything abt her, there's actually no way he hasn't noticed oc's unhappiness </3

(oooh darly isn't it fun how your work generates discourse!)

i actually blushed like a little girl !!! 😭 it's always pretty unexpected, but it's so fun seeing people share their thoughts and read all of them, especially ones i don't rlly agree with !!

ur little au idea !! v intriguing bestie 🫢 "it would be a kind of death occurring at the same time as birth" oh bloom, i love ur mind so much <3 i love the idea <3

to ur questions, they will actually go through with a divorce 🫢 </3 and yes, there'll be multiple parts !! three in total !! the second part is post break up !! right after they separate !

teehee the way u also sensed that ego season would be next ?🤭 i'll try my best to post the next chapter for that soon <33

i love u n missed u so much bloom!! n don't apologise !! i loved reading every single word u wrote 🫂 thank u so much for taking ur time to write all that down <3 mwahh mwahhh 😙