#dire writes stuff

[mammoth-clangen]

D’you perchance have any thoughts on the morphological (for lack of a better word?) dire wolves that Colossal Biosciences just revealed to the public? 👀

Oh my god Aenocyon, you can't just ask someone why they're white!

"Morphological dire wolf" my ass. Which is coincidentally where Colossal pulled the white coats from…

Give me an example of a modern temperate/grassland predator that's white*, I'll wait. *Excluding white lions, which are an uncommon but resilient morph resulting from leucism.

I based my Aenocyon design off bushdogs and dholes. They are called Masked Wolves in Kindred's setting, because I enjoy a good pseudo hyena niche uvu-b

Extremely extremely long 'thoughts' below the cut lol c':

Preface: in this discussion the term "dire wolf" has too many meanings, as such I will be referring to them as follows:

Thrones' wolves: for the huge, white, fantasy animals from Game Of Thrones GMO wolves: for Romulus, Remus and Khaleesi, Colossal's creations, Canis lupus Aenocyon: for Aenocyon dirus, the true, extinct dire wolf known from fossils across North America

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Part 1: That's not a dire wolf-

The first question everyone has been asking is "So, are dire wolves de extinct now?" The answer is an emphatic "NO!" from anyone with knowledge of genetics, palaeontology, or taxonomy.

Aenocyon dirus were actually not wolves, nor dogs, but a secret third thing.

They are canids, but last shared a common ancestor with grey wolves and their lineage some ~5.7 million years ago.

For context, this paper suggests a similar divergence time between genus Homo (humans, Neanderthals and co) and Pan (chimps and bonobos); animals that look and behave markedly differently from each other.

The genomes of Canis lupus and Aenocyon dirus being 99.5% similar may sound like a lot, but again, humans share 98.8% with chimps, and 99.7% with Neanderthals, and yet are very distinct from both.

Skeletally, behaviourally, in soft tissue, etc, you could tell any of the three apart; the same goes for Aenocyon and Canis members.

Additionally, Colossal made 20 changes in 14 genes.

The grey wolf genome has 2,447,000,000 base pairs. Does that maths seem a bit off to you?

That's not even enough to change a grey wolf into a domestic dog, let alone an ancient outgroup!

This would be akin to modifying a lion to have bigger teeth and saying you resurrected Smilodon fatalis.

Or editing a Asian Elephant genome so they retain their juvenile hair and calling it a Woolly Mammoth.

It's a bold-faced lie.

Beth Shapiro says "they look and act like dire wolves" but that, too,simply isn't true.

Visually, the GMO wolves simply aren't what Aenocyon would have looked like. It's what a Thrones' wolf looks like.

Hmmmmm, funny about that, seeing George R R Martin helped fund the 'dire wolf project'...

As with many fossil animals, we don't know much about Aenocyon's behaviour.

You can't say the GMO wolves (who are also still pups) act like Aenocyon, because that's based off nothing.

What we do know is Aenocyon were likely pack animals (from the sheer number found in La Brea Tarpits), and crunched more bones than modern wolves (from their many broken teeth).

Also, crucially, they had Wild Sex Lives (from the many, huge, broken and healed bacula... youch).

Colossal is also being colossally shady by: doubling down on their bs use of the outdated "morphological species definition", blatantly misleading the public with their use of the words 'cloning', 'dire wolves', and 'de extinction', and refusing to share their methods in a peer reviewed paper before going public with a clickbait headline.

Do not trust them with your Red wolves either. They're using coyote hybrids and considering what they deem 'close enough' for a dire wolf, I wouldn't put any money on the quality of their GMO red wolves either...

Also can I just say, whatever genes they modified to "make the skull larger" clearly didn't impact the lower jaw...

No, I'm not sorry for this image uvu-b (But for real look at that poor pup and his overbite jfc)

Part 2: -and if it was, that wouldn't be good either.

I fundamentally do not support de extinction.

No, not even for the Thylacine, not even for passenger pigeons, nor the dodo. Even my beloved Homotherium should be left in the past.

This might be an unexpected stance because I am, surprising no one, a big fan of extinct animals, megafauna and otherwise.

But the thing is, I'm an even bigger fan of actual, living animals.

The animal ethics of de extinction are dubious at best.

The surrogate dog mothers of the GMO wolves likely won't live good lives.

I wouldn't be surprised if they were destroyed after being used, because their bodies could contain feto microchimerisms and Colossal absolutely doesn't want their special wolf genome getting out.

I doubt the GMO wolves themselves will live a full life before they outgrow their hearts, like Ligers.

This would likely be the case for any modern animal genetically modified into megafauna; a body not adapted to deal with the increased size.

Purely conjecture, but I also wouldn't be surprised if Romulus, Remus and Khaleesi have vision/hearing issues from their white coats.

White coats in wolves are associated with hearing impairments, so the gene used for these animals was from domestic dogs. Meaning Colossal has created a very expensive wolfdog.

Again, what kind of life are these wolfdogs supposed to live? As awful pets for the rich? In a zoo? Released to pollute wild wolf genomes? (assuming they're fertile; I hope not)

Regardless, it's not looking good if they ever planned to have them be 'wild animals'

Even true clones (which the GMO wolves are not) tend to have health issues.

Celia the Pyrenean Ibex (bucardo) was cloned, but the clone died after 9 minutes from a deformed lung.

So in 2003, this made the bucardo the first species to go extinct twice, yippee?

There's also the problem of genetic diversity.

How many intact genomes do you have on hand?

For dire wolves the answer is Zero!

To my knowledge, we don't have the full genome coded from one individual, just Frankenstein-ed from many. Which is fine for sequencing the canine family tree's relatedness, but not for cloning.

The absolute minimum individuals to survive a genetic bottleneck is said to be 50 in larger species. Called the 50/500 rule, it states that 50 is enough to survive, but 500 is required to prevent genetic drift.

To which I say, good luck!

Even with well preserved permafrost species (such as woolly mammoths), you'll have a hard time finding 500 individuals with prefect genomes.

And then, where will you put them?

If you were to, somehow, make a breeding population, where are they going? A national park? A zoo? Is their old habitat still available to them?

In Aenocyon, the answer is simply "they don't have a niche anymore".

Unlike the Thylacine or Dodo, humans did not directly cause the extinction of Aenocyon dirus. And even if they had, it was 10,000 years ago!

Would making room for a de extinct species impact the habitat/niche of another species?

Regular grey wolves fill Aenocyon's role as a canine mesopredator, with Puma as the apex (alongside bears as an apex omnivore).

With the loss of megafauna to prey on, a de extinct predator would just compete with other, also endangered species.

Animals also change the environment they life in.

Mammoths will clear trees like modern elephants. This would recreate the Mammoth Steppe, but those trees making up the taiga and boreal forests are themselves crucial habitat.

Other species have moved in since the mammoths' extinction. Siberian tigers, lynx, muskoxen, brown bears, elk, moose, and so many others; many endangered.

Trees also prevent erosion, which is already happening at unprecedented rates due to agriculture and deforestation.

Crucially: What's to stop an extinct animal going the same way it went out last time?

Ask yourself this:

Would the average American appreciate "flocks of Passenger pigeons big enough to darken the sky and whiten ground with their guano"?

Would people suddenly be okay with lions in Europe eating their livestock, when they are champing the bit to shoot Iberian wolves again?

Would Tasmanians suddenly feel the same about the Thylacine, when farmers in Australia still happily kill dingoes and eagles for lamb predation? [citation, I am an enviro technician and have had farmers tell me they shoot Wedge-tails, knowing I'm a toothless lion to stop them.]

I doubt it

At what cost?

Are we going to find 50 thylacine genomes?

If so (doubtful), how much will cloning and/or modifying a relative into a thylacine cost? Now that x50?

Wouldn't that money be better spent on quoll reintroduction?

What about finding 50 gestational carriers for mammoths?

Are you going to use their closest relative; the already critically endangered Asian Elephant?

Wouldn't that time and effort on those elephant mothers be better used making more elephants?

And the social cost:

If extinction isn't forever, what's to incentivize lawmakers to fund conservation?

Really, it comes down to this:

Why bring back the dire wolf when we could put this money into protecting the Iberian and Red wolves?

Why bring back the thylacine when their cousin is dying of a transmissible cancer?

We've already seen the impacts of "extinction isn't forever anymore", with those in power already trying to cut funding to conservation, because you can "just bring them back".

But as we've seen time and time again: there is no Planet B. There is no De-Extinction, not really.

Maybe what was gone should stay gone, so we can focus on what we still have.

[skyward-floored]

Swapped (Part 6)

Took me a while to wrangle the plot with this one, sorry it’s been... months. Oops. We’re nearing the end, so it’s getting harder to just whip these out, I have to think about things more XD But I’m still working away on it. Please enjoy!

Mild injury warning, and brief allusions to... I guess medical whump is the best way to put it.

First | Previous | Next (coming soon)

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“Mom? Are we lost?”

Four watched Malon glance at him, then around at the area they’d ended up in. It was a dim and admittedly creepy hallway, one that seemed like it didn’t get much use. It looked nothing like the areas they’d been in with everyone else, and Four watched his mother glance at Artemis as well, who looked equally unsure.

“...I don’t know that we’re lost. We just... don’t quite know where to go,” Artemis answered for her, and Four gave her a look.

“So we’re lost.”

“Well... yes I suppose so,” Artemis admitted with a small heh, and Malon sighed, pulling to a stop.

“We’re not getting anywhere trying to circle back around to the others. Our goal was the top floor, maybe we should be looking for the elevator instead of wandering around aimlessly down here,” she suggested, and Four nodded.

“It’s weird we haven’t seen anyone though, it’s like this area is abandoned,” he said, glancing at a dusty wall. It’s kind of creepy...

“I guess the scientist just doesn’t do much here anymore,” his mother replied, and Four moved to walk a little closer to her, Malon gently ruffling his hair. “Is that the elevator there?”

Four looked, and saw some big double doors up ahead, ones that might’ve been elevator doors. It was hard to tell though, so they all walked closer, Four smiling at the definite sight of a button.

“It is! Now we can go get our powers back,” Four said in relief, and his mother gave him a look that had a fair amount of concern in it. Four ignored it. He knew Mom was worried about him, but she did that all the time. And he was fine. Totally fine.

Not panicking at all.

Four went to push the button, but the elevator made a noise before he touched it, like it was moving down towards them. They all froze, and Four felt a lurch of panic.

“Someone’s coming,” he realized, and Artemis looked around, zeroing in on a door.

“There, quick!”

All three of them ran for it, and Artemis shut it tight behind them, careful to do it as quietly as possible. Footsteps pounded nearby, but they ran right past the closet they’d wedged themselves into.

They all sighed in relief.

“Well, they probably won’t look for us in here,” Malon said once the footsteps had faded, and Four pushed a couple of really heavy-duty mops out of the way of his head.

“Do you think they’re gone?” Artemis asked, and Four looked around as Malon hummed. It was just a utility closet, full of old cleaning supplies and gear. Four poked some of the brooms, then leaned against the wall while his mother and Artemis discussed if it was safe to leave, idly moving his arm that had been injured earlier. It didn’t hurt anymore, and Four felt fine.

Well... except for the pit in his stomach.

Four swallowed. He really wanted to get a move on. Whoever got his powers was probably having all kinds of trouble, and he just felt... empty, in his middle. It was probably Artemis’s powers that were making him feel all weird, but he didn’t like it. He wanted his own back.

And though he’d never admit it out loud... there was a small part of him that wished he’d been left home with Sky, his powers safe and sound.

Four sighed and leaned back, then yelped, his body falling straight through the wall. He fell back to his neck before he stopped himself, and huffed in annoyance as he struggled. He’d gone intangible without even trying, great.

“Goodness, are you okay hon?” Malon asked as she hurried to his side, and Four kicked his legs as he tried to unstick himself. It was just his legs and head on this side of the wall.

“Yeah, I’m just— agh, I’m stuck,” he huffed, trying to figure out how to get himself out. “...Aunt Artemis?”

“Here,” she said as she crouched next to him, taking his legs and firmly tugging him. Four’s body wasn’t intangible anymore though, just the parts of him in the wall, and she couldn’t pull him out.

“Is the wall thinner here? Why did he fall through?” Malon asked, and Artemis made a helpless gesture.

“I think he just lost control for a moment. Easy to do. Happened to me all the time as a kid. But... Four, do you feel anything behind you? There shouldn’t be anything there except solid wall,” Artemis asked, and Four wiggled his arms around a little.

“No... there’s nothing,” he said in surprise. “Maybe it’s another room or something like—”

That weird ripply feeling went through Four again, and he couldn’t even yelp as the rest of him disappeared and he plunged backwards into the wall.

“Four!”

He fell into darkness, startled enough that his body entirely flickered back into tangibility, and abruptly hit ground of some kind with a small oof.

Four laid there a moment, stunned, then shook his head and cautiously sat up, squinting through the dark for any sign of... well, anything. It was pitch black where he’d fallen, so Four hesitated, then felt around in the dark until he found a wall, fumbling along it for any light switches or a door of some kind.

Four wasn’t afraid of the dark, not really. But alone in an unknown area so dark he couldn’t see his hand in front of his face... anyone would be a little scared, right?

Could use Shadow right about now, he thought sadly, muffling a yelp when his hip bumped what felt like a table. Shadow’s powers had been unstable ever since he’d almost died during the whole Screenslaver disaster though, and he’d been left in a sort of... semi-conscious state that Four didn’t totally understand. Fi and Ghirahim were trying to help him, but... so far they hadn’t made much progress.

Four sighed and kept feeling his way around. If Shadow couldn’t be here, couldn’t Four at least have gotten Twilight’s powers and been able to kind of see in the dark? Intangibility really wasn’t helping him here.

So far it hasn’t been terribly useful at all.

Four ran his hand along the edge of what he hoped was a table, slowly shuffling his way forward. Something suddenly caught on his leg, and he jumped, heart thudding as something else crunched under his foot when he set it down. Was that... bone?

Four’s mouth went dry. Were there skeletons in here? What if the room was totally sealed-off? Did he have enough air in here?

What if he couldn’t figure out Artemis’s powers and got stuck here in the dark forever?

Something creaked loudly in the dark, and Four squeaked in alarm, scrambling backwards until his back hit the wall. In a panic he instinctively reached for the part of him he always did when he split, but all that happened was that new ripply feeling that shook through him, and his leg went through the wall.

He scrambled to pull it free, and light burst into the room, blinding him. Footsteps rang out, and right as Four really started to panic, Malon and Artemis came into view, silhouetted by the light.

Four slumped in relief.

“Oh Four, you okay?” his mom asked as she joined his side and put a hand on his arm, and Four exhaled, his heart still hammering in his chest.

See? It’s fine. Quit freaking out!

“Yeah, I’m okay. I just keep getting stuck,” Four mumbled, looking at the floor. “How’d you guys get in here?”

“We found a trapdoor in the closet,” Artemis answered, squinting in the barely-lit room. “If you hadn’t fallen in I doubt we would have noticed it. I think this must be a— oh, here are the lights.”

The fixture on the ceiling flickered, and then wavering light flooded the room as Artemis flipped a switch. Four blinked as he looked around, and let out a quiet huh. There were no bones in sight to his great relief, just some broken glass on the floor. It looked like he’d fallen into the messy remains of a lab, tables and equipment scattered all over the place. It could maybe have just been a storage room, but... why hide it behind a trapdoor in a cleaning closet?

Four felt a flutter of excitement.

It looked like he’d found a secret lab.

“Whoa,” he couldn’t help saying, leg finally slipping free of the wall, and his mom nodded as she caught him.

“I guess this proves our theory that this area isn’t used for much anymore,” Malon said. “Goodness, what a mess.”

“I wonder what happened,” Four said, looking at a table that was splintered into two pieces. It didn’t look like it had just fallen apart, based on the marks gouged into it.

Four leaned a little more tightly against his mother.

Artemis looked around with the rest of them, poking at some things, then crouched down beside a fallen-over filing cabinet, picking up a dusty folder of papers.

“These look like notes on a project,” she said curiously, flipping through them. “Strange...”

Four looked around at the rest of the room while Artemis studied the papers, taking in the mass of various types of equipment all piled around. This room really didn’t seem like it’d been used in a while, and Four wondered what had happened. Why abandon a secret lab like this?

As Four further studied the equipment thrown haphazardly around, broken beakers and dusty surfaces, he saw what looked like shattered pieces of something tucked away in the corner. He picked his way over to them, glass crunching under his boots, and frowned as he saw the remains of what looked like some kind of large tube thing. At least, he thought so. It was kind of hard to tell since most of it was shattered on the floor. But it was definitely big, big enough Four probably could have fit inside of it.

Four placed a hand on it, and ran a slow hand over the glass, his heart picking up for some reason.

“Malon... I think you should see this,” Artemis said in an oddly serious voice, and Malon came over and looked at the paper she’d pulled out. Her eyes went wide, and Four walked back over, standing on his tiptoes trying to read it over his mom’s shoulder. He could only see a few lines of it though, and they didn’t make any sense.

Test 23: exposure to temperature extremes. Subject appears more vulnerable to heat than cold. Frostbite an.......e both possible only when abilities not in use. Further testing required.

Four frowned and tilted his head, reading a bit from a paper Malon’s finger was partially blocking.

...showing signs of power instability when emotional, fine-tuning will likely prove...

The rest of the paper was ripped, and Four wiggled under his mom’s arm, getting a better look at a different paper Artemis held out to her.

.....unable to manage direct sunlight while powers are active. Biggest weakness so far. Further.....ts suspended while subject recovers.

Something cold dropped into Four’s middle, and Malon and Artemis were strangely quiet. His mother slowly flipped to the next paper, this one showing signs of being partially burnt, but you could still see part of the photo it contained.

And the shadowy boy with red eyes was plenty easy to make out.

Four’s stomach lurched.

“Mom?” he asked quietly, and Malon swallowed, several emotions churning in her eyes as she looked at it.

“Project Dark Mirror,” Artemis read softly.

“This... it looks like me. Like Shadow,” Four said in shock. “Is this him?”

Artemis hesitated, looking at the notes with worry bright in her eyes. “It must be. I’ve never known anyone else with powers quite like his, and this... it outlines what he’s shown of his abilities almost perfectly,” she murmured. “This picture is mostly ruined, but... Did he ever tell you where he came from, Four?”

“No. He... he said once he wasn’t natural,” Four began, stomach churning. “But I thought he just meant his powers. He didn’t elaborate or anything. You know he just showed up in our backyard that one night, he never explained much. Do you... do you really think he came from here?”

“It seems likely. He was certainly here at one point,” Artemis said, and Malon leaned against a table, a hand to her forehead as she read more of the papers.

“Oh that poor boy...” she whispered, still skimming. A breeze began to swell in the small space, catching their hair and a few loose papers, and Four looked at her worriedly.

“There are papers here missing,” Artemis noted, grabbing the few that Malon had sent blowing. “This one starts like it’s going to go into detail about origins, but the next just has more notes on tests. I was hoping there’d be something about why you two look so similar, Four.”

“Dad thinks that’s just a coincidence,” Four replied, and Artemis frowned.

“Maybe. But regardless, there’s not enough papers here to know.”

“They must have gotten destroyed,” Malon said as she shut her eyes, face creased behind her mask. The wind picked up. “We’ll have to find backups, or ask the scientist himself.”

“Well then let’s go,” Four said, shaking with anger for Shadow. He hadn’t read everything, but the picture that was forming in his mind of his friend being stuck here and put through experiments that hurt him and probably being alone except for that awful scientist made him mad. “We have powers to get back and now information we need too! This guy might know how to help Shadow!”

“You’re right, we should get going,” Malon agreed, and began gathering papers and folding them up even though the wind was still blowing. “Let’s take these, maybe Fi and G will be able to use them.”

The three of them quickly gathered the papers that could still be read (not as many as Four would have hoped), and Malon put them in a small pouch on her belt, closing it securely. They all headed for the door Malon and Artemis had come through, but then Four paused, looking at a corner he hadn’t studied as intently before.

“Wait... look, another elevator!” he said excitedly, and Malon and Artemis turned to look where he pointed, Malon’s eyebrows raising.

“Well look at that. I think you’re right,” she said, and they moved to study it. It was small, tucked in an unassuming corner, but it looked big enough that Four was pretty sure they’d all fit inside.

“Where do you think it goes?” he asked, craning his neck as if he could see its path upward.

“Hmm... probably up to whatever personal offices the scientist has, since I doubt this room is widely known. I bet we came in the back way,” Artemis said thoughtfully.

Four felt a flutter of excitement. “So this’ll lead us right to him? That’s perfect!”

“Hold your horses there,” Malon said, putting a hand on his arm when he went to push the button. Four stopped and looked at her. “Is this a good idea? Surely he has some sort of defenses around his personal elevator.”

“Possibly... but there were quite a few guards outside, I don’t think we have any better of a chance out there than in here,” Artemis replied. “And I doubt the scientist will be expecting anyone from this lift, not with how abandoned this place looks.”

“He might hear us coming though,” Malon said with a frown.

“Then you can just blow him off his feet when the doors open. Or Artemis can shield us or something,” Four said with a smile, and Malon sighed.

“I just don’t want us to underestimate him again,” she said, but she let go of Four’s arm and nodded at him.

“Well... here we go,” Four said, and pressed the button on the wall.

A rumbling noise signaled the elevator moving, and Malon motioned them all a few steps back, her fists raised cautiously. Four stayed close to her, Artemis a few steps back, and the cheerful ding the elevator let out seemed out of place.

The door opened, and nobody was inside.

All of them sighed in relief, and moved into the elevator, comfortable despite its small size. Four pushed the button that had an up arrow on it, and the doors slid closed, the floor lightly jerking under their feet as the elevator began to move. An jarringly cheerful tune came from a little speaker in the corner, and for a few moments, it was the only sound in the space.

“I’m wondering if this was wise,” Artemis suddenly said as they got close to the top. Four looked at her, and noticed her expression seemed nervous, and still a little pale from her earlier healing spree. “None of us can reliably use these powers yet. What if something goes wrong?”

“Well we have to do something,” Four pointed out. “And maybe the others are already here and are in the middle of stopping him. Or already stopped him!”

“Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst, hon,” Malon said softly, and the elevator chimed, coming to a stop.

All of them stiffened, and the doors slid open, revealing a darkened room on the other side.

Silence met them, and they exchanged looks, then one by one stepped out of the elevator. The doors slid closed, cutting off the cheerful music, and they were left in total darkness.

Four couldn’t tell what kind of room they were in, just that there was tile under his feet, and a chill in the air. His eyes took a minute to adjust, but even once they did, he still couldn’t make out anything.

Four’s heart began to pound the longer the silence stretched, not being able to see anything making him nervous. Artemis attempted to make a shield, but she only managed a flicker of one, which didn’t light anything up enough to get a good look.

“What do we do?” Four whispered finally, but before anyone could answer, they heard a loud click.

And a bright light flooded half the room.

Four winced, covering his eyes at the sudden glare, but when he heard footsteps he quickly lowered his hand in order to see. And saw a middle-aged man in a white coat standing a few feet away, hands behind his back and a weirdly pleasant smile on his face.

It was the scientist.

“I was wondering when you three would show up,” he said brightly, and they all stiffened, slipping into defensive positions. “My cameras got a bit damaged, and you were the only group I didn’t have tabs on.”

“And who are you?” Four asked, and the man raised an eyebrow as he looked at him.

“Ah the short one. Bit young for a superhero, aren’t we?” he hummed to himself, ignoring the question. Then he looked at Malon and Artemis. “I must admit I wasn’t expecting anyone to find their way in here by this route. But I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, you’re the famous Malanya and Ethereal, after all! And the short one is a relation, I assume? Striking similarity to Fierce Deity in his early years. Very impressive overall.”

The man turned back to Four, still smiling, and Four didn’t like the look of it one bit.

“I can’t wait to study you, little one.”

“You’re not going to!” Four snapped back. “You’re going to jail! You can’t just... hurt people and capture them and mess up their powers! And you hurt Shadow, we saw his picture!”

The scientist raised an eyebrow. “‘Shadow’?”

“You know who we mean, we saw your lab,” Artemis said darkly.

Recognition lit up in the scientist’s eyes, and he made a pensive noise, writing something down on a notepad he pulled from his pocket. “Well, I suppose that explains where my little project ended up. Shadow. Of course he’d pick such a simple name.”

“That’s enough,” Malon said, nocking a blunted arrow. “You’re under arrest, Doctor, for illegal experimentation and child abuse.”

The scientist chuckled. “That’s all? I thought it would be a longer list. You didn’t even mention the cloning.”

“Cloning?” Artemis questioned suspiciously, and the scientist grinned.

“Of course, it’s a fascinating field. Add superpowers into the mix, and it’s even better. Very unpredictable! And so understudied. Though I’ll admit animals are better for initial cloning experiments, less costs involved. Which!” he said with a clap. “Brings me to my next subject.”

Malon shot her arrow, but it reflected harmlessly off of a clear wall Four hadn’t noticed was separating them until now.

“Oh come Malanya, none of that,” the scientist sniffed. “I’m about to show you unfathomable scientific progress!”

“We really don’t care,” Malon said dryly, and Four, though he was a little curious, nodded in agreement along with Artemis.

The scientist smiled. “Oh believe me. You’ll care.”

He pressed something on the wall, and the lights on the other side of the room flicked on, revealing another glass wall, this one more obvious. Four was more alarmed at the sight of what was behind the glass though, and he stepped back as his mother gasped.

A huge, slavering wolf, fangs bared and mouth twisted in an unnatural snarl paced around in the tank, red eyes boring into the three of them.

Four was used to what a wolf should look like— with Twilight around it was impossible not to— and the one in front of him was not natural. It had an odd gait, and was proportioned strangely, its front legs larger than a normal wolf’s, a strange hunch to its back. It had thick white-grey fur, long claws colored the same deep red as its eyes, and its teeth were unnaturally sharp and yellow.

“Have you three ever heard of a wolfos?” The scientist asked, placing a hand on the glass. The beast snarled. “Referred to in myth and old debated historical accounts, it’s been described as an especially beastly wolf, with huge forelegs and a hulking figure. Some soft-tissue fossils were... brought into my possession, and though I had to start with the DNA of a cold-footed wolf, I believe I did quite well. I’m sure there’s plenty of people who will pay for a genetically enhanced attack dog.

He sighed dramatically. “Scientific progress isn’t cheap, unfortunately.”

He turned and smiled at the three of them.

“But now we come to one of my first tests, for both subjects. We’ll see how well the Wolfos can fight against supers... and how well a super can adapt to a threat with misplaced powers.”

The door to the wolfos cage slid open.

“Have fun.”

The wolfos leapt out of the cage the moment it could, and Malon grabbed Four out of the way as it charged for them. Its claws swiped through the air right next to their heads, and Artemis aimed a sharp kick at the beast.

It let out a strange whimpering howl as her heel got its snout, and jumped backwards, pacing madly in front of them. Malon nocked another blunted arrow as Artemis drew a dagger from her belt, and Four hovered nervously beside them, unsure of how to help.

How were they going to beat this thing with messed up powers?

The wolfos jumped at them again, slashing its claws, and they all scattered, Malon trying to fire her arrow but missing, Artemis attempting to jump on its back, but the beast immediately throwing her off. Four ran around its back, trying to help, but the beast was so fast it was able to snap at him, then whirl around and attack the others before anyone could hit it.

Four heard a sudden beeping noise, and he glanced at the scientist behind the glass. The man looked down at his wrist, and his satisfied smile widened.

“Seems I’m needed elsewhere. I’ll record this experiment for later review, carry on,” he said to the three of them, then bowed and strode out through a door.

“You— get back here!” Four yelled angrily, but the scientist was already gone.

The wolfos charged at him while he was distracted, and Four only barely managed to slide out of the way, some drool falling on his shoulder. He ended up next to his mother, and the wolfos growled darkly, pacing around again.

“Four, you need to get out of here,” Malon said seriously, both of them ducking as the wolfos lunged and teeth snapped. “We can handle things here, and you can go through walls. Go stop the scientist!”

“But Mom, I— what if I get stuck? Or what if you and Artemis need my help?” he said nervously, and his mother smiled at him.

“Don’t worry, we can handle this big lug. It’s more important that we stop this scientist, we need to get our powers back.”

The wolfos interrupted them then, snapping at their faces, and Four and Malon both jumped to opposite sides. The wolfos was fast though, and it turned just as quickly as Four did, teeth catching his arm.

Four yelled, and in a fit of pain-induced panic, managed to make his arm go intangible. The wolfos’s jaw snapped shut, and Four fell to the ground, the beast jumping onto his chest and knocking the breath out of him.

Four heard someone cry his name, but he was too busy trying not to get his face ripped off to see who it was, teeth snapping and saliva hitting his face.

Claws came up and tried to slash at him, but Four twisted out of the way. One caught the very edge of his face, and Four kicked uselessly at the wolfos as pain seared his cheek, trying as hard as he could to go intangible again.

Please please please work just work please—!

Suddenly a rope slipped around the wolfos’s neck, and its head was tugged back, Malon lassoing the beast despite one of her arms hanging weakly at her side. Four took the opportunity to scramble out from beneath the monster while it was distracted, but the rope didn’t hold it long.

Malon’s lasso was made of incredibly strong rope, but she couldn’t hold on very well with one arm, and Artemis was still getting to her feet from being knocked into a wall. Malon lost her grip, the wolfos knocking her to the ground, and turned to Four again.

It had signaled him out as the weakest, and wasn’t going to give up.

“Prism! Get out of here, now!” Malon shouted, and Four backed up, his back hitting the wall.

“I’m trying, I-I can’t!” he stammered, reaching for the spark he always reached for when he split, but unable to grab hold of it in his panic. “Mom—!”

The wolfos jumped at him, and Four knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid it this time. He cried out, but then Artemis dove forward and snatched him up, a wavering shield appearing around them.

But it was enough to stop the wolfos, who hit it hard, and stumbled back with a yelp, pawing at its now-bruised snout.

Malon immediately went to get its attention, somehow snapping off a sharp gust of wind that pushed the wolfos���s head back. It snarled, and briefly turned its attention to her, snapping its teeth.

“You’re okay?” Artemis asked quickly, and Four nodded, shaking a little. “You’ve got to follow him, Four, you’re our only chance.”

Four felt like crying. “I can’t, not with these powers, I just—”

“Yes you can,” Artemis reassured, taking his shoulders in her hands. “I know you can. You used them earlier just fine. Find the others, and fix this. We’ll catch up.”

Four bit his lip, and when he heard his mother shout, he felt determination flicker through his fear. Someone had to go, and right now, Four had the only powers to do it.

He was used to dealing with foreign-feeling powers after all, he’d only gotten his own a year ago. This should be a walk in the park in comparison.

He could do this. Messed up powers or not. For his family and all their powers.

And for Shadow.

Four swallowed, then nodded, then focused intently on the weird feeling in his middle, trying to embrace it instead of shying away. It took a minute, during which Artemis had to fight back the wolfos more than once, but then it welcomed him, weirdly enough, sending a warm honey-feeling through his limbs.

Four still didn’t feel great, nauseous and tired and still just a little wrong, but this felt a lot better. Four stepped back from Artemis and turned to the wall, taking a deep breath.

Then he slipped through it with no issues.

Artemis and his mother both cheered, and Four reappeared on the other side, a determined grin forming on his face. His mom and aunt had to go back to fighting the wolfos almost immediately, but Four knew they could handle it.

And he ran off after the scientist, knowing he had to save the day.

[tartppola]

Stranded in another world, with no hope of going back or any magic to defend themselves with, this is the anecdote of the Ramshackle Prefect Yuulis Crowley's first week in another world called Twisted Wonderland.

warning : mentions of blood & dissection, didn't beta this so :P a/n : happy april fools :D

It was a chilly morning on the Night Raven College campus, and Sam’s first day coming back to the mystery shop. Oh, how he missed the purple overlay of the wallpaper; the diamond skulls and taxonomy and other knick-knacks that seamlessly blend together to form something quite avant-garde. Speaking of knick-knacks, he remembered that his new stock of goods his ‘friends’ salvaged from who knows where should be arriving today, how exciting!

His feet skipped up and about, the keys he spun around his finger chiming as he hummed a happy tune from the Port of Jubilee. Sam wonders what kind of faces the new first years would make the first time they step into the shop, or when they meet his ‘friends’ for the first time. 

Just as he was about to make a turn from Main Street, he stopped dead in his tracks. There was a pile of huge boxes at the doorstep, that must be his new goods, but there was something else, or rather, someone else. That someone–young enough to be a first year, but not wearing the school uniform–was waiting by the boxes. No student has ever been to the shop this early, and the school hasn’t allowed any of the local townsfolk to visit, so why?

“Excuse me!” Sam called out, making his way towards them, “I’m flattered that a line is already forming, but opening hours aren’t until lunch time!”

They stared blankly at him the moment he stood right in front of them. They held out a clipboard with a delivery receipt that listed the names of various magical supplies 

“I’m here to on behalf of the Headmaster,” Sam barely understood them through their thick accent, “Please double check the receipt and make sure to tell of any errors.”

Since when did the Headmaster hire any couriers.....and one so young at that. Oh well, as long as Crowley’s not breaking any child labor laws, it should be alright, shouldn’t it? The shopkeep noticed that his back grew colder and colder as he went through the new inventory. He stole a small glance at the youth, turning back immediately when he saw how intently their gaze bore through his soul.

“Phew! It’s getting pretty darn cold out here!” The hand that held his keys trembled a bit, “How about we go inside to warm ourselves up a bit?”

He took back his thoughts. This was far from alright.

“--and where do these charms go, Mr.Sam?” 

“By the aisle near the grimoires, next to the paper talismans,”

It’s been nearly half an hour of restocking, yet they haven’t left the store. Sam tried his best to breathe through the awkward atmosphere, but the tension was so thick he could harvest it, bottle it up and sell each for 500 madol. If only such a thing was possible, if only.

“Mr.Sam,” 

He felt his shadow jump to the ceiling at the sound of their voice. 

“What kind of store is this, exactly?” 

“Well, since you’ve seen my wares firsthand, should you be able to tell right away?” He put on an air of faux confidence, hoping they wouldn’t notice. 

“At first, I thought this was a magic supplies store, but none of them back at home sell dangerous herbs like oleander and wolf’s bane. How did you get a hold of this amount of them anyway?”

“Well, what can I say? There’s only so much exotic ingredients you can grow in the botanical gardens,” 

“But, there are also basic necessities like toothpaste and clothes,” They pondered, “Come to think of it, one of the new deliveries was a box of snacks, wasn’t it?”

“That’s what happens when you’re the only tuck shop in one of the most prestigious schools in the world!” He winked, “It wasn’t easy getting ahold of most of the inventory, but you gotta do what you gotta do, don’t you agree?”

A small chuckle escaped their lips, “That’s not a bad mindset for a businessman.”

In the end, no matter how eccentric they initially seemed, a child is still a child. He felt foolish for being so afraid, what could they do when he had his friends by his side?

“By the way,” it was hard to notice how much time passed by, “Shouldn’t you go back to your dorm and change into your uniform? It’s almost time for morning classes.”

“Ah, was Mr.Sam not present during the entrance ceremony? No wonder you didn’t recognize me,” 

There was some word on the street about a fiasco happening during this year’s entrance ceremony, something about the halls being lit on fire by a beast? He couldn’t believe it when  one of the friends that stayed to guard the shop told him about it.

“I was deemed unworthy to be sorted into a dorm, because I possess no magical capabilities whatsoever. It seems that there was an error during the student selection process,”

“Is that even possible?” his suave expression morphed into worry, “Then, why didn’t the Headmaster send you back home?”

“He tried, but the Mirror of Darkness said something along the lines of ‘The place from whence they came from can’t be found in this world’. 

“And so here I am, doing odd jobs and tasks on behalf of the Headmaster, the students and the staff of NRC,” Sam could hear a small sense of pride at their introduction, “I'm more capable than I look, please don’t hesitate to call upon me if you need any assistance.”

Of all the strange things to make their way into his shop, never in a million years would Sam expect an estranged secretary to be one of them, and one that possibly came from another world to boot. He had a feeling that this year was going to be much, much more eventful than any of the years to have come, and he couldn’t wait to see it all unfold.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, little demon,” The shopkeep tipped his hat in a fine, gentlemanly manner, “Make sure to drop by again, ‘till next time!”

The gap of knowledge between the first and second year was indeed a big leap to overcome, Crewel knew how unprepared his puppies were going to be.

But by the Great Seven, oh how much he overestimated them.

The likes of Riddle Rosehearts and Azul Ashengrotto couldn’t possibly make up for the utter incompetence these mutts have, even the students with subpar scores like Savanaclaw’s Ruggie Bucchi and Diasomnia’s Silver looked like geniuses. At best, there are students like Kalim al-Asim, who actually tries, yet their efforts seem to seep out through their ears the moment they leave class, then there’s the unpredictable ones like Floyd Leech.

He remembers how the eel turned in blank test papers, or how he mixes whatever ingredients he finds interesting together, bleeding the chemical supply. 2 days ago, he used up an entire month’s worth of imp spinal fluid during potions class. It’s not as if they were hard to get, but their effects are most potent when freshly harvested. The thought of harvesting it himself made him shudder; sure, he’s seen some grotesque imagery as an alchemy professor, but who knows how long it will take to restock if he made a report to Crowley?

Sigh. Looks like he’ll have to put practical sessions on hold for a while and haggle with Sam.

“Excuse me, is Professor Crewel here?” 

The door to the alchemy lab opened, bringing the professor back to reality. Someone he has never seen before let themself in, a plastic bag in hand. 

“Stay! I don’t recall allowing anyone without a lab coat to enter….!” Realization kicked in once he got a clearer look, “Huh--so it’s you, the magicless stray that caused a riot in the entrance ceremony.”

The sound of a whip resonated through the room, followed by faint chattering and murmurs from nearby students scrambling away from the alchemy lab. 

“Only authorized students and staff are allowed in the lab during school hours, didn’t the Headmaster tell you?” 

Most of his students would cower just by hearing his tone grow stern, yet they remained unfazed. Playing bold now are we? Looks like he’ll have to teach them a lesson. 

“The Headmaster,” they brought the plastic bag to his chest, “said that the lab’s storage room needed restocking.” 

Ah, was that it? Making a child do his job; how much of a slave driver was Crowley? Knowing Crowley’s tardiness, it was probably something he had already spent his paycheck on, although the bottom of the bag was unusually cold. 

Curiosity getting the better of the professor, he untied the knot and opened the bag. His face recoiled, from the shock of seeing the contents. Aurora moth’s scales--he had only requested these a few days ago! Not to mention all of that translucent mucus coating the scales, how long ago were these harvested?

“Is there something wrong, Professor?”

Crewel almost forgot about the intruder standing in front of him, “No, it’s just--this is the first time I've seen them so...fresh. The ones Crowley buys usually come preserved in bottles.”

“That may be because I just harvested them this afternoon,” they said nonchalantly.

“You--You what?!” the professor didn’t even try to mask his disgust, “You did this yourself?”

Their head tilted sideways, akin to a confused child.

“The Headmaster said that the locals needed help with pest control, so I’d thought I’d lend a hand, and they let me do whatever I wanted with the moths as payment, ” Despite having experience with that sort, Crewel’s stomach began to swirl, “The Headmaster gave me permission too,”

A scowl grew on his face. Typically a moth would've been killed humanely before their wings were plucked to relax their ligaments, but seeing the mess clinging to the wing's ends, it's clear that they didn't consider such option. He couldn't decide if they had a strong stomach to withstand seeing large bugs squirm underneath them, or an uneducated fool.

“Professor, are you alright? You look exhausted,” 

He snapped back to reality that instant, rubbing circles around his temple. Pull yourself together, Crewel, he edged himself, you’ve lost your composure twice already. Maybe he just needed a good serving of raisin butter with wine on the side, or a joyride on his prized car. He glanced back at the dismembered wings, at least he got what he wanted. Still, this has never happened before, perhaps if he could take advantage of this situation….

“Tell me, pup. Since you have...the appropriate experience to harvest wings, how good are you at dissecting imps?”

They pondered for a while. It’s the most animated he’s seen of them, “I suppose I do how to extract fluids, their lymph is a versatile ingredient in many types of salves after all. Although it has been a while since I’ve ever needed to.” 

Bingo

“Then, how about spinal fluid?”

It was their turn to be surprised, “I-I’ve never done that on an imp before. Just think of the amount of imps needed to fill a single bottle.”

“Tell you what, pup. Are you interested in a side-job?” 

Without giving them a chance to respond, Crewel tossed a few madol and a map of the campus in their direction, “There are some common imps causing trouble in the college lately coming from who knows where. If you can deal with them, I’ll give you the other half of the payment, and of course--.”

He shoved them a basket full of empty test tubes, slinging it over their shoulder, “Fill every single test tube here to the brim before tomorrow's Science Club activity, I won't take no for an answer.” 

And with that, they were pushed out of the alchemy lab. Spending their first sleepless night in another world catching imps wasn’t on their bucket list. Sighing heavily, they picked up their feet and staggered.

‘I wanted to creep him out a little,’ they thought, ‘but I ended up being the one getting creeped out.’

For such an important place, why did Crowley’s office have to be in a place so out of reach? For all his years in Night Raven College, Crewel always dreaded sending weekly reports to the Headmaster’s office, he could feel his leg muscles ache as he knocked against the two large gates. He peeked inside the office to look for the Headmaster. 

“There you are, professor! What took you so long?” 

There he was, sitting cross-legged on his desk as the portraits of the Great Seven floated up and about. Trein was there as well, as cold as usual and showing no sign of fatigue, peering at him as if he could see through everything. Maybe it was because he had a 20 year head start, either way, it was irritating how he was the only disheveled one.

“I don’t know, maybe it was the countless stairs I have to climb every week to submit a report when you can simply hire a secretary to fetch them for you?” 

The crow simply smiled, already figuring out a solution to Crewel’s ire, “How has the first week of teaching been for you, professors?”

“I don’t know which is greener, the topiary maze in the Heartslabyul dorm, or the new puppies I’m in charge of,” Crewel shook his head. 

“For once, I agree,” the history professor nodded indefinitely, Lucius yawning in his arms, “But that could be said for every first year in the history of NRC.” 

Dire nodded, “Seems like everything’s going smoothly then! I shall leave the future of our students in your capable hands!”

Both professors nodded in response, “As you wish, Headmaster.”

“Although, I’d like to inquire about something,” Crewel spoke up before raising his index finger to the large window. From above, the view of the setting sun looming over the campus could be seen, but his finger specifically pointed to Main Street, or rather;the magicless stray walking to the direction of the alchemy lab, with the basket in hand and the direbeast from before by their side.

“What are we going to do about that?”

Without needing to look, Trein simply closed his eyes, “If what the mirror spoke was true, then that child quite literally has no place to go back to. It comes to question how they even ended up here in the first place."

Crowley rubbed his chin. The ultimate decision lies with him, and honestly, there was nothing stopping him from just shirking them off his feathers and leaving them to fend for themselves, along with the cat-beast that terrorized the entrance ceremony.

"It would undoubtedly stain the reputation of our esteemed college if we just kicked them out," the Headmaster groaned, "Oh, why must I be plagued with such problems!"

"Best of luck to you then, Headmaster Crowley," The two professors turned their heels and left Crowley's office with not a care in the world, leaving him with his worries.

The Headmaster leaned against his chair and sighed against the beak of is mask. Dealing with the child was the last thing he wanted to do at this moment, with their odd mannerisms and such, however...

Being unable to return home wasn't an unfamiliar conundrum to the Headmaster.

Perhaps it's his boundless generosity speaking to him, but there was a pang of heavy emotion in his chest that told him he couldn't simply leave that child, Yuulis, alone. Was it guilt? or maybe atonement? Whatever it was, it overrode the rational side of his brain

Dire Crowley was the type of person to judge a book by it's cover, which is why he was surprised how his new errand runner, or rather, the new Ramshackle Prefect was able to hold up better than he expected. The reports he received from the staff members he had tasked them with helping have been amicable, and his workflow was much smoother now that he had divided the more menial tasks to someone else. He had thought he had envoked the wrath of the Great Seven with the mess that was thrown his way, but surely they were more pliant than they initially seemed, and now Crowley had a reliable aide at his beck and call.

That would've been the end of the story if Crowley's worries ended there.

Perhaps it's his intuition as a mage, one that's been sharpened by many years of experience, but there was something off about the Prefect. It was subtle enough for none of the other professors to pick up on it, perhaps not even the prefect the▅self were aware of it, but Crowley co▅ld fe▅▅ it.

The lingering mi▅▅ma ▅▅ p▅rmea▅▅ from ▅▅em, it ▅▅ ▅▅▅▅▅ ▅ ▅▅▅ M▅▅▅l▅ ▅▅ ▅no▅▅ ▅▅▅▅ ▅▅▅▅▅▅▅ ▅▅ , ▅n▅▅d f▅rom the loo▅▅ ▅, if Crowley doesn't get it under control, it might spell disaster for the mages in his beloved college.

They'd succeeded his expectations as a prefect, so why not bestow upon them another act of kindness?

A knock resounded from the door to the Headmaster's office, before creaking open. Under the candles that lit the office dimly, the prefect looked like one of the many ghosts that toiled in the campus.

"Apologies for the delay," they nodded, curtly greeting the Headmaster, "It took a while to convince Professor Trein to let me into the library archives, but I got what you asked for."

"It can't be helped, I suppose. The lecture he gave me that time still rings in my ears," Crowley picked the bundle of files off of Yuulis' hands.

"Rightfully so," the monotone in their voice wavered, "With all due respect, I don't see why what you did was necessary, nor will it benefit you or your reputation, Headmaster."

His fingers intertwined and rested over his mouth, obscuring what's left of his face. A part of him thought that Yuulis wouldn't question his actions, but it seems they had not let their guard down completely. Not that he blamed them--in a world of villains, it's wiser to play your cards right.

"I've made it quite clear that it was a mutual agreement, yes?" he says, "One day, you'll understand, once you've proven that you're worthy of carrying my secrets."

He sauntered towards them, slow and heavy footsteps circling around the prefect, "Besides, don't you want my help? You won't have to isolate yourself anymore, drifting around from place to place, worrying about hurting other people. You'll be able to live a normal life. It'd be easier for me to help you with your more personal matters like this, wouldn't you agree, my dearest nephew?"

It was probably underhanded of him to take advantage of their ignorance, but it's too late for them. The pact has been made, Crowley isn't sure whether Yuulis could feel the invisible link that binds them together as well, but the matching blue vest he gave them, their new surname, was enough to send them the message.

"It's getting late, come now, I'll walk you back to that rickety old--err, Ramshackle dorm," says the headmaster, waiting for Yuulis to trail behind him, like they usually do.

With bated breath, they come to accept their new circumstances. They step closer to the Headmaster.

"As you wish, uncle,"

[neigepomme]

question to those who have selfships.. how did you get past the jdjsndbdjs awkward phase at first because i want to indulge so bad but im still battling the self imposed cringe barrier 💔💔💔💔

[antlered-vixen]

actually I just read of Beren and Lúthien and Lúthien is a certified girlboss. tolkien was quite woke actually. and if you think about it isn't a human and elf relationship inherently queer?

God fucking damnit worm you gave me a goddamn jumpscare before I saw it was you. Asshole. I thought I'd legitimately have to argue "Tolkien wokeness" with someone. Christ.

[dafpork]

at least as far as is available on AO3, i wrote the first Dafpork fic in the tag long ago because of course i did. there’s only one fic that’s slightly older than it that uses the tag, but it’s one of those where it’s like every single character/pairing ever is tagged and doesn’t count. that makes up half the tag. but out of curiosity’s sake i took a peek at it and .

not to put anyone on blast but let me just say i am so thankful again for people showing interest in these characters and drawing fanart of them and getting SOME sort of momentum. like what do you mean i was the first to write about them (at least on AO3) and the only other fic predating it is a Bugs x Daffy fic and has Porky doing absolutely reprehensible shit to Daffy that i can’t even describe here. we are a small but mighty community on here because my lord i forgot how dire it was. like it truly was Just Me and a friend for awhile

[cowboylikeelin]

i don't smoke but i feel like if i smoked weed i would be unstoppable when writing fanfics

[hauntedwizardmoment]

jace literally got shattered at the altar of cliffbreaker and you expect me to be normal about that??

[greyspirehollow]

Chains

Pairing : Quaestor Valdemar x Liam (mc oc) ; platonic Fandom : The Arcana visual novel Warnings : angst ; hurt/comfort (still not good at warning tags grgrg)

Summary : Reverse ending ; Thinking they have betrayed him by aiding Liam becoming the new Patron Arcana of Death, the Devil punishes Valdemar (nothing related to assault, don't worry). But this cruel treatment will not go unnoticed...

The room was dark. The only source of light was the faint red glow of the chains that bound the Quaestor kneeling to the floor. The air was filled with the scent of burnt papers and parchments. They could still feel the trace of the quiet tears they'd shed when the Devil left, despite keeping their face as expressionless as possible. They were pretty sure they had bruises, and the tip of their right horn threatened to fall off at any moment because of how they'd struggled against their binds. They knew their labcoat was scratched, and that their bandages were loose. They could feel strands of hair tickle the skin of their cheeks. This... was simply cruel. Unjustified. After their centuries, their millenias of loyal services, how could the Devil possibly treat them like this?? They hadn't crossed any lines, not in the terms of their deal at least... So why? Their gaze remained on the floor as they let their thoughts consume them. What else could they possibly be doing? Struggle against the chains some more? To what end? They wouldn't yield.

But their train of thoughts was interrupted by the distant muffle of voices...

______________________________________________________________

In the corridors, some of Death's troupes looked around the rooms, opening every door they could, seemingly searching for something. Or someone. The skeletons were quick and efficient as Death advanced slowly, surveilling the operation. His cape flowed softly with each step he took. The skeletal soldier's search was fruitless so far, but it was also interrupted by a red figure down the hall. "...Vulgora." Death muttered, similarly to a greeting. Probably posted there to guard the halls, the Pontifex yielded a double bit great axe. But their expression lacked the usual bloodthirst and thrill of battle. As if... They didn't want to fight. Death was skeptical ; they'd always loved fighting. But he didn't have time to reflect upon that much : they charged at his soldiers, determined, and made the bones cackle and fall to the ground each time they'd seem them rebuild themselves. Death marched towards them, and drew their sword. He did well, because the Pontifex charged at him next. He blocked their attack, momentarily face to face with them. "They're on the second floor" if it could've conveyed confusion, Death's skeletal face would've upon hearing Vulgora's words. "The last door to the left." They sounded... worried. Death nodded and pushed them off, letting them pretend to fight off part of his troupes and taking only three soldiers with him as they rushed upstairs. He heard the Pontifex pretend to chase after them, and give up once he was halfway up the stairs. He climbed the marches one after the other.

______________________________________________________________

The sounds and muffled voices grew closer. Valdemar couldn't make out the words being said -what was the point, anyway?- but could only distinguish the clinking of metal on the floor. The steps grew closer.

"General ! They're in here !"

what...?

The door was pound against, exactly five times, before it fell off its hinges, hitting the floor with a loud thud and blowing an air current that made them squint their eyes, in addition to the sudden pool of light red light pouring from outside the dark room. They caught the glimpse of four silhouettes, three human sized ones and another, more imposing, standing in the center. The three smaller frames returned into the corridor, and seemed to go keep an eye on the surrounding area, the light they basked in revealing skeletons in armor. The Quaestor's gaze then landed on the fourth shadow : it slowly started approaching. On the floor, it noticed the carcasses of journals, books, files and parchments. And a copious amount of them, too... Two little green lights served as eyes to them, and Vlademar recognized those. Their teeth greeted together, but they couldn't find anything to tell him. Liam. The reason they were in this mess in the first place... That foolish necromancer, taking the place of the thirteenth major Arcana... They briefly looked back at the ground, but their head instantly snapped back up as they saw him crouch down beside a burnt book, about to touch the crispy pitch black pages. "GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF THAT!!" They shouted, instinctively getting up on their feet, only to be dragged back down by the red chains, drawing a pained grunt out of them. Their shoulders hunched slightly. Liam's hand immobilized in the air and he looked at them. They briefly wished they could still read his expression in this moment... "...Your research." he simply commented. They knew he was right. He got up, and slowly walked towards them. Their gaze was suddenly drawn to his sword, as it morphed into a scythe in his hand. They looked up right at those greenish lights he had for eyes now, their gaze unwavering. Death towered over them... They looked at him grip the weapon with both hands and raise it above his skull. He was going to do it, wasn't he? They weren't even mad. They found themselves... Strangely determined. Fine. After all, maybe it was the greatest service he could make them in th-

SHCLANK.

THUD.

....

....

..

The chains...

He'd aimed for the chains. Eyes wide, they looked at one of the metallic binds that was snapped in two by the scythe, and had fallen to the ground. Liam then snapped the other one.

SHCLANK.

THUD.

They felt the remaining ones around their body loosen, setting their upper body free. They looked at their shaky hands, and then back up at Liam.. Confused. He'd crouched down to their level. Despite the lack of... basically anything that could convey emotions on his face, they felt no ill will or threatening aura coming from him. As if... He wanted... to help...

"Do you think you can walk?"

The lich's raspy and otherworldly voice asked. "How can I possibly trust you?" was their immediate response, which they briefly regretted. Liam didn't seem fazed however. Even... Understanding. He removed the glove of his right hand, exposing his bones to the dark room's air, and reached for one of the burnt books that laid at their feet. They were about to protest again, gripping his wrist to yank it away from the fragile paper, but as soon as one of his bony digits made contact with it, it's as if the book was reborn. The pages found their normal consistency, and their handwriting appeared through the book again. Their jaw hung slack in a mix of confusion and bewilderment. "I thought... Y-you said it didn't work with..." they looked back at his orbits, inhabited by those two green lights, their gaze unable to hide their emotion. "This is... One of Death's tricks. A very brief reversal of time. It only works on objects..." He replied, as he got up and removed his other glove, going around and picking one by one the journals, the files and parchments, each seemingly coming back to life as he touched them. Valdemar was stuck in shock, still on their knees on the floor, the overwhelming amount of emotions swarming them without a single warning. He... He had to have ulterior motives. It couldn't be out of... kindness. Their brows furrowed "What do you want?? wh-why are you doing this?!" as they got back up on their feet, their hands slightly shaky. Liam looked back at them "...Do I need a reason to help a friend?"

...

Friend...? "You mean... Fiend." "I mean... Friend." Shock appeared on their features once more. Death took a slight breath and spoke up again : "But if it is easier for you, consider this a thank you for helping me get where I am now. A... Payback, if you will." he paused, turning around to face them "But the truth is, I only wish to help." The Quaestor stood there, dumbfounded, their brows knitted together due to... Whatever emotion they were currently feeling. They observed as Liam went around the room, picking up each and every single document that the Devil had previously burnt right before their eyes. They watched as he carefully arranged it all in a pile, then a mount as more and more documents were added. They took a few steps forward, their shaky hand reaching for one of the journals, flipping through the pages, then reaching for another one, and another, and another... Tears welled up in their eyes as they held at least a dozen against their chest, crumbling back to their knees and hunching protectively over them, as if they'd vanish if they let go. Their researches... Their life's work, their reason to live... Nearly wiped out like a speck of dust. They couldn't help the tears. Yes, they could muffle their sobs, and yes, they could hide their face against the pile of journals, but they couldn't stop the subtle shaking of their shoulders... Nor the bony hand that gently settled on their back and started caressing it soothingly, Liam crouching beside them.

______________________________________________________________

After a while of such deep and sudden emotions, Death stood back up, ordering his three soldiers to fetch the others, so all of them could carry the mount of documents out of this place. Valdemar took with them as much as they could, their legs slightly wobbly from the whole ordeal, as they, Death, and the soldiers hurried downstairs. They left the damned halls of the Devil's palace, and at the entrance, the Quaestor's eyes widened as they laid upon a familiar centaur-like figure. The horse skull turned to look at them "well, would you look at that! Quaestor Valdemar, in the flesh. It's been a while" Death. Their throat tightened and they looked at the ground in shame. This... All of this was starting to become a little too much. "Cut them some slack" Liam spoke softly, patting Death's flank. "I'm going to need you to carry them home. The Devil's not been kind with them..." Death nodded, although slightly bitter, lowering themselves so Valdemar could mount them, while the lich walked on foot. The Quaestor desperately clung to the journals in their arms, and as the gentle rocking motion of Death's pace nudged them, they felt exhaustion start to close onto them, despite their best attempt to keep their eyes open and surveil the soldiers which carried the rest of their researches.

______________________________________________________________

They woke up in what looked like a cottage, resting on a couch, with a thick blanket over them and a plush pillow under their head. They blinked awake, looking around, noticing Liam sitting at a table. The lich was studying what looked like maps ; there was a warm fire going in the fireplace. Their eyes lingered on the flames for a while before returning to Liam. They observed his skeletal hands carefully holding the paper, before their red eyes looked out the window, into the snowy forest around. The sight felt much less dreadful than they remember. The soft creaking of Liam's chair drew their attention. "Ah, you're awake. How do you feel?" It was... paradoxal to have Death sound so soothing... Or maybe it wasn't. "...Better." Warm. "That is great to hear." he put the map down on the wooden table, getting up to reach for a set of keys and picked two from it. He then walked over to Valdemar and gently placed the keys in their hand. "It's to access a small shed I have built nearby. I've made it so your research could be stored there, in Death's realm." yet another emotional blow for Valdemar. But of gratitude, this time. They closed their eyes and let out a soft sigh to keep their composure. "...Thank you." Liam nodded. "It's my pleasure." He was about to return to his table when Valdemar gripped his sleeve. He turned around. They'd stood up ; they seemed to be contemplating something. Their eyes briefly scanned Liam up and down, before they gulped and extended their arms, before wrapping them around him, in a clumsy hug. A warm feeling spread in the lich's chest as he embraced their smaller frame back.

Valdemar could've never guessed Death's embrace could ever be this soft and welcoming.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

me facing off against the same paragraph for the third night in a row:

[ppossumist]

i don't have instagram rn so i cant spam my spam story and all of my friends are busy or alserrp and i NEEEEEED to bug someone so ill bug you.

i do not freaking care abou the peabody essex museum. i do not freaking care about the salem east india marine society. if i have to read one more page about some white guys from the 1700s i am going to go crazy

but i do. in fact, i need to write 10 pages about them before thursday UGHHHHHHHH this final was actually gonna be tolerable but then my prof changed it last minute and now im here.

free meeeeee this is my last assignment i literally have nothing else i can do productive just this for the next like 72 hours

and i need to spend those 72 hours well cus i have 0/10 pages written LOL

BLEGGGGGGGGGGGH

kk bye

[aria0fgold]

Jokid has captured me mind and soul so so much. I love em <3 I love jokid so much <3

[fancifulplaguerat]

I am actually giving myself psychic damage writing this fic.

[klug]

I like how the ally/rafisol ship for me started as pure like, vibes, there was nothing after chronicle so it was basically free real estate

But now theyre just putting bait everywhere willy-nilly and no one is talking about this

[translightyagami]

What a Week, my lawlight week fic is an experiment in bad writing. i'm just putting stuff down and sending it out. so far, the response has been da same as when i put a lotta work in. and yet, even though i have purposefully tried to be a relaxed cool guy who just writes with rough edges, i am going crazy thinking about how what i wrote will never achieve any note other than a buncha people private bookmarked it. hmmm.

[nightowlfury]

pretty sure ive read every ayeakk or sandray fic longer than like 10k in my bookmarks at least twice