#dissertation coach near me

[dissertationcompletecoaching]

The Dissertation Journey and Your Mental Health

The journey of a dissertation can often feel astonishingly solitary, an experience compounded by the weight of stress, anxiety and daily worries. It was precisely this sense of isolation that compelled me to become a dissertation coach, with the goal of transforming the solitary odyssey into more of a shared pilgrimage.

I clearly remember the overwhelming sense of responsibility and the looming uncertainty that clouded some of my time as a PhD student. Yet throughout it all, it was essential to remember that I was not alone. I relied heavily on my own dissertation coach, project supervisor, peers in the program and family to remind me that this particular academic challenge was, in fact, worth it. Read more: https://dissertationcompletecoaching.com/the-dissertation-journey-and-your-mental-health/

[adhdnursegoat]

This is Not a Drill

Word count: 1.8K

Content Warning: fluff, confession of feelings

Pairing: Edward Nygma X gn reader

Setting: Young Justice

“Dammit.”

It came out quieter than it felt. Soft, almost polite, like the word had tripped over his teeth on its way out. He wasn’t angry, not really—just tired. Tired of circling the same anxious drain. Tired of knowing exactly how to solve a thousand unsolvable problems, but not this. 

Not you.

Someone might’ve heard him, had anyone else lingered. But mercifully, he was alone. Had been for the better part of an hour, haunting the lounge like a nervous ghost. He’d half-registered the shifting people, the casual comings and goings of Injustice League members grabbing coffee, making personal calls, or just plain needing a moment. But they'd all filtered out eventually, and Edward... Edward stayed.

First, he sat. Then slouched. Then paced. At one point he’d laid on the couch like a tragic Victorian figure, forearm flung over his eyes, until the automatic lights dimmed and shamed him back to verticality.

Now, he was just standing. Rooted. Heart rabbiting beneath his ribs. He stood in front of the coffee bar—an unremarkable stretch of metal and glass—and stared at the faint outline of himself in the backsplash. The reflection wasn’t sharp, not like a mirror, but he could make out just enough to scrutinize. The stiff line of his shoulders. The twitchy motion of his hands as they tapped a rhythm against the counter—Morse code for I'm losing it, send help.

This was it. The final boss. Not a mission. Not a trap. Not even Batman. 

Just... feelings.

“Okay, okay, okay,” he muttered, squaring his stance like he was prepping for a debate. “Just say it like a normal person. Not like you’re delivering a riddle. Not like you're... trying to recite a dissertation."

He took a breath. Then another. Then your name slipped from his lips, shaped with hesitant reverence. A pause. Then—

 “I like you.”

He winced. A slow, full-bodied grimace like he'd just witnessed himself fall down the stairs on security footage.

“No, no—too simple. Uggghhh.” He slapped a hand against the counter and dropped his head. “They deserve better than this. They deserve a confession with gravitas. Drama. Maybe a sonnet.”

Edward sighed. Then straightened, like he was trying to make his spine remember it belonged to a man and not a melted question mark. His eyes flicked back to the backsplash—his warped reflection staring back like a rival, or maybe a lifeline. He squared his shoulders again, poking a finger at the glass like it was both a chalkboard and a confessional.

“Try again, dumbass,” he muttered, barely above a breath as he pointed at his reflection, coach and player in the world’s most pathetic halftime pep talk. "I like you. Like, like-like you. As in—I think about you when I shouldn’t." He huffed, shaking his head. "During briefings, when you’re asking smart questions. During missions, when you move like you were built for this and I have to remind myself to look away before I forget how to walk. And lunch—don’t even get me started on lunch. Watching you eat fries has done irreversible damage to my brain chemistry."

Feeling a little hopeless, he laughed at himself, the sound dry but fond. His fingers slid back through his hair, tousling it into an auburn crown of frustration.

"And I know you’re probably into someone cooler. Someone who doesn’t speak like their mouth is hardwired to an encyclopedia. Someone charming. Charismatic. The kind of person who knows how to make a move without having to rehearse it like a courtroom deposition…" 

He swallowed. Then, softer, "But I’m trying. God, I’m trying. Because if I don’t tell you soon, I’m going to short-circuit every time you so much as breathe near me. I already stammer, fidget, knock things over—I’m practically an animated error message when you’re in the room. And that is not a sustainable lifestyle. So—" Your name caught on the edge of his tongue. He hesitated, like saying it aloud might make it all too real— "...I-I like you… And... and I’m trying so hard not to ruin it by telling you in the most Edward Nygma way possible. Which is to say—badly. With poor pacing. And analogies. And at least three footnotes. Or, godforbid, a riddle…"

He leaned forward, pressing both palms flat on the counter, eyes locking with his reflection like he was trying to convince himself this wasn’t the stupidest thing he’d ever done.

“Okay—that wasn’t bad. Now. One more time. With feeling. Maybe less rambling. Maybe…” He took a breath. Let it out. “Maybe like you believe it—”

“You could just say it to me.”

Edward jolted. His head snapped up with such force he nearly unbalanced himself, whipping toward the doorway like someone had rewound reality and hit play too fast. For a heartbeat, he just blinked, staring at you as if you’d stepped out of a hallucination.

You were there. Not in his head. Not in the glass. Real. Leaning against the frame with your arms crossed, casual in that devastating way you had. Like you weren’t aware of the hurricane you’d just walked into. Like your smile wasn’t already unraveling him at the seams.

His brain stalled. Froze. Rebooted somewhere between panic and prayer.

"...How long were you standing there?" His voice had shrunk to something small and embarrassed, like it was trying to hide behind his teeth.

You tilted your head. “Long enough to hear the part about fries.”

He winced, visibly. A hand scrubbed over his mouth like he might erase the last five minutes from existence.

“And I’d really like to hear it again,” you added, stepping forward. “You know—said to me.”

There was no teasing in your tone, not really. Just a kind of quiet sincerity, soft as velvet and twice as dangerous. An open door he wasn’t sure he deserved to walk through.

Edward blinked. Once. Twice. As if your presence needed time to process, buffer, and load in full HD. Then he straightened up fast—like someone about to stand trial—and tugged at the cuffs of his sleeves with quick, fidgety precision, as if dignity could be tailored back into him with fabric and focus.

"R-right. Yes. Of course. To you. I can... do that." A beat. It took effort not to get locked on the glimmer in your eyes. That soft glimmer, that gentle curiosity—it disarmed him more effectively than any superpowered threat he’d ever faced. He actually had to shake his head, then take a deep breath. His chin lifted, his eyes narrowed. Then, firmly: "I like you."

The corner of your mouth tipped up before stepping forward just enough to enter his space—just enough for him to feel your warmth.

“Better,” you murmured. “Now try it again… without looking like you're preparing for an oral exam.”

He laughed—a breathy, uneven sound, like the release valve on a too-full heart. “Okay. One more time.”

Edward ran a hand over the back of his neck, expression sheepish, posture softening as the tension gave way to something quieter. Something real. His shoulders dropped slightly, and he looked at you from the corner of his eye—like the full force of his feelings might be too much if aimed directly.

“I like you,” he stated again, gentler now. “And I think I’ve been trying to say it in riddles...”

You tilted your head. “And now?”

His gaze didn’t leave yours this time. When he spoke, his voice was low, vulnerable, steady. “Now I’m just hoping you’ll say it back.”

After that, he wasn’t sure what he’d expected. A laugh, maybe. A grimace or nervous look. The quiet shuffle of your feet as you backed away. Some kind of mercy.

But instead, you just smiled softly.

Not a grin. Not a smirk. Not one of the carefully curated expressions he’d imagined in every hypothetical. It was smaller than all of that. Unhurried. Like you weren’t shocked or even surprised—just there, with him, steady as gravity.

“You’re lucky I like the weird ones.” 

It wasn’t said cruelly. You didn’t weaponize it. No sarcasm, no scoffing. Just the faintest lilt of playfulness, the kind that slipped under his skin and warmed everything it touched.

Edward blinked. His chest thudded in his ears. His mouth twitched like it wanted to smile, but forgot how.

You took a half-step closer. Not enough to crowd him—just enough to prove you weren’t afraid. To make it even worse, or better—the jury was still very much deliberating—your hand reached up, slow and intentional, until your fingers brushed his tie. And stayed there. You didn’t yank or pull or do anything remotely scandalous. You just toyed with the fabric—soft little tugs, like you were adjusting it, straightening it, claiming it. Your knuckles grazed his chest, and Edward thought he might actually combust.

“And for the record,” you murmured, eyes finding his—half-lidded, sharp, unreadable in the most intoxicating way, “I’ve known for a while.” Your lips twitched. A smile barely contained. “You weren’t exactly subtle. But I was waiting to see how long it would take for you to implode.”

Oh.

Oh god.

The bloom of heat on his cheeks was so fast it should’ve had its own weather forecast. His hand shot up, uselessly scrubbing along his jaw, like that might do something about the heat scalding through him. But it didn’t help. Nothing helped. Not when you were still standing there like it was nothing—like you hadn’t just unraveled him with your fingers and a single, stupid sentence.

And worse—worse—you didn’t look away. You didn’t mock. You didn’t vanish like some hallucination conjured by emotional exhaustion. You stayed. Still smiling. Still close. Still casually holding his heart between your fingertips and treating it like something worth being gentle with. You knew. You liked him. You’d waited.

Edward swallowed hard. Tried to assemble words that made sense. Came up with gibberish. Tried again.

“I—I’m not always this bad,” he mumbled, which was objectively false, and judging by your raised brow, you both knew it.

You tilted your head, amused. “You’re worse, usually.” Then your voice softened, that teasing gleam still dancing in your eyes. “But it’s cute.”

Cute.

He was going to die. Right here. In front of the coffee bar. Cause of death: you. Yet—when he looked at you again, really looked—something inside him, something that had been shaking since the moment you walked in, finally went still.

Because you weren’t laughing. You weren’t walking away. You were smiling at him like he’d done something brave. Like this wasn’t a catastrophe—it was a beginning.

Maybe not the one he’d rehearsed. But maybe the one he actually needed.

Did you like this? Check out the rest of the PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE RIDDLER series!

Tag List: @trulydisturbed @wolfsrahne28 @riddled-with-fear @illustratedartist @angelsmile28 @caesariawritesstuff @jezabellesunshine @wingedqueenlynx

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Thanks for the support!

[prashasconsulting]

What Services Do PhD Consultants in Hyderabad Offer?

PhD Proposal and Research Topic Selection

The first and most important steps on the PhD process is choosing the research subject. This choice will lay the groundwork of your thesis. Prashas Research, a leading brand in the field of PhD experts in Hyderabad helps students through this crucial stage. They assist you in narrowing the research fields you are interested in according to your preferences and the range of sources, as well as current research trends. With PhD coaching, they help students in choosing subjects that are not just aligned with their own interests, but are suitable for an in-depth research. If it’s a theoretical framework or a topic for applied research the experienced experts at Prashas make sure that your research subject is pertinent and innovating.

Research Methodology Guidance The right research methodology is another aspect where our PhD consultants are of value. This step determines how the research will be carried out and what information will be collected and how it will be analyzed. Experienced consultants such as those from Prashas Research, offer detailed advice on choosing the right quantitative or qualitative methods based on the purpose of your research. Additionally, they provide insight into different data collection methods including surveys, survey tools, and methods of statistical analysis, making sure that your approach to data collection is thorough and appropriate for the subject of your research. With their support they will help you navigate the technical aspects of the research you plan to conduct.

Literature Review Assistance A comprehensive literature review is an essential part of any PhD dissertation. It involves an in-depth exploration of the current research in order to discover gaps, build upon previous studies, and establish the theoretical foundation. This is where PhD consultants in Hyderabad step in. Consultants from Prashas offer expert guidance in conducting a comprehensive literature review, ensuring that you cover all the critical works relevant to your research topic. The team at Prashas Research not only helps you identify key papers but also assists in synthesizing the information, ensuring that your review is coherent and informative. Their knowledge of various academic databases ensures that no stone is left unturned during your review process.

Writing Support and Thesis Structuring Writing a PhD thesis requires expertise and patience. It’s not only about presenting research findings, but also creating an argument, organizing the data in a sequential manner and making sure that each chapter flows seamlessly. The PhD experts at Prashas are able to provide assistance for the writing of your thesis, helping put your ideas in a well-organized arrangement. From introduction to conclusion, they can assist you in writing chapters and rewriting them, in ensuring that your work is lucid, precise, and academically rigorous. Additionally, they ensure that your formatting, citations as well as your overall format meet the very highest standards of academic excellence.

PhD experts in Hyderabad are able to provide many solutions, which include guidance regarding the selection of research topics, research methodology including literature reviews, writing support as well as data analysis and the process of structuring your thesis. They also provide PhD mentorship and career guidance to students who are nearing completion in their PhD dissertation.

2. How can Prashas Research help me with my PhD? Prashas Research is a leading consultancy for PhD scholars. They offer support in every stage of the PhD journey, from selecting research topics to publishing papers. Their services include PhD mentoring, thesis writing, data analysis, and even honorary doctorates. Prashas ensures that your work aligns with academic standards and helps you gain recognition in your field.

3. Are PhD consultants aid in the analysis of data?

Yes, the PhD experts at Prashas are experts in data analysis as well as statistical assistance. They offer guidance in selecting the appropriate tools and methods for your needs, like SPSS, R, or Python as well as assist with understanding complex data. If your study involves either qualitative or quantitative methods experts can assist you to analyze your data efficiently.

4. Can Prashas assist with publishing my research?  Absolutely! Prashas Research helps PhD students navigate the publication process. From selecting appropriate journals to refining your manuscript for submission, their experts guide you through the steps to ensure your research is published in reputable academic outlets. 5. What are honorary doctorates, and how does Prashas help with them?

Honorary doctorates are awarded for those who have made exceptional contributions to their area, even if they haven’t followed the traditional academic route. Prashas provides honorary doctorates in other ways, providing recognition to those who have had a significant contribution to their academic or professional career. This is an excellent choice for business leaders and professionals with notable achievements.

Data Analysis and Statistical Support Analysis of data is an essential aspect of several PhD projects, especially for ones that require research that is quantitative. Prashas Research offers advanced support in the field of statistical analysis. This helps students understand their data and draw important conclusions. When you have to deal in the area of complex data or advanced software such as SPSS, R, or Python the PhD experts at Prashas can help you through the process. They help with a range of methods including regression analysis testing hypotheses, and visualization of data, making sure that data is presented in an approach that will help you achieve the research goals.

PhD Mentoring and Personal Development One of the key solutions offered by PhD experts is PhD coaching. Research for a PhD can be an isolating experience, and the guidance of a mentor who can guide your research can significantly improve your experience. Prashas offers personalized mentoring services, where experienced scholars collaborate with you closely to offer guidance, advice as well as emotional assistance during your entire doctoral process. These include regular sessions to monitor progress, tackle challenges and give academic suggestions on how to approach complex research issues. Mentors are not just someone who aids in academic research but also increases confidence and motivation during difficult periods of the PhD program.

Publication Support and Journal Submissions A PhD isn’t just about the completion of a dissertation. It’s the process of bringing new information to the discipline. PhD consultants such as those at Prashas Research can assist students in publishing research results into academic journals. They offer guidance on selecting the appropriate journal, how to write abstracts and adhering to the submission guidelines. Moreover, they help in preparation of the manuscript for submission to ensure it is in line with the high standards of peer-reviewed journals. It’s about formatting, editing or refining your work for a journal audience, the consultants at Prashas can provide you with invaluable assistance.

Honorary Doctorates and Special Recognition Apart from traditional PhD consultancy services, Prashas also offers unique services like Honorary Doctorates. These awards are based on the exceptional contribution to a field and give professionals a new route to recognition. If you’re an industry-leading or entrepreneur having made significant contributions in the field you work in, Prashas provides honorary doctorates in a different way, giving your the possibility of receiving acknowledgement for your accomplishments. These honorary awards can help raise your profile and are a great option to those who may not have taken the conventional academic route but have made important contributions in their respective fields.

Career Counseling and Job Placement Assistance When you are nearing the end of your PhD, planning your next steps becomes crucial. PhD experts in Hyderabad similar to those at Prashas, offer career counseling in order to assist students as they transition into the world of work. If you’re seeking jobs in academia, research as well as opportunities in industry, these professionals will help with placements for jobs, CV creation, interview preparation, and career guidance.

Conclusion

The process of embarking on the PhD path is difficult and rewarding. By obtaining the appropriate assistance and guidance provided by PhD experts with a focus on Hyderabad like the assistance provided by Prashas Research, you can ensure that your academic experience is a success. From selecting the right research subject to offering mentoring and assistance in finding jobs, Prashas offers a comprehensive array of support services that will help you on your PhD path. Their knowledge of PhD mentoring, thesis writing, data analysis, and the honorary doctorate is essential for researchers looking to make an impact in their fields. Be aware that the proper guidance can transform your doctoral journey from an intimidating task into an enriching and successful journey.

[whatdoesshedotothem]

x Thursday 15 August 1833

8

1

incurred a cross just before getting up thinking of Miss W- - wrote note to ‘la comtesse Madame de Bourk [Bourke]’ to say should be glad to see her at midi demain, and note to ‘Lady Duff Gordon, l’hotel Meurice’  to ask when I could see her after 4 or 5 today - got her note too late yesterday to answer it last night and wrote note to Mr. Geoffroy St. Hilaire to send with 2 razors - breakfast - Letter 3 pages and ends from my aunt - read it in the fiacre - all well - Mr. and Mrs. Walsh will now sell all the land between me and the Godley road - SW- asks if he may give £120 per acre for it - I shall say yes! at rue St. V- in 25 minutes at 11 20 - had M. Audoin 20 minutes till 12 20 - gave him my address aux soins de Messrs. Kortwright et compagnie Banqueirs à Copenhague and at Shibden hall near Halifax Yorkshire Angleterre - he write to me after his return in 2 months and say what I can do to put him en relation with the different entomologists

SH:7/ML/E/16/0095

so that he may have their dissertations as they come out - thinks he cannot get in the ordinary way of commerce – between 5 and 6 had M. Brongniart for ¼ hour – very  civil – came to thank me for the razors – seemed pleased that I should have remembered him – said he must introduce me to his wife – they should be happy to see me – asked me to take his last classification to the Prince of Denmark with a letter along with it, and gave me for myself a copy of the classification – tidying and looking over bureau drawers, etc. etc. till 8 - walked home - just rang at Mrs Barlow’s got a peep of Captain Smith, and came away asking Mrs B- to come to me - dinner at 8 ¾. Mrs B- came to me for 5 minutes for note from Lady Gordon asking me to have tea at 8 and note from Madame de Bourke to say she would come at 12 tomorrow -  at Lady G-‘s (Hotel Meurice) at 9 ¾ - au 4me apartment (beds for 3 selves maid and man) 20/. a day - gives her maid 4/. a day to find herself Italian servant paid so much a year for everything - carriage ½ a day 16/. coach man 2/. a day - cannot dine she and the 2 girls under 12/. or 14/. a day - she laughed outright on hearing of my going direct to Copenhagen - glad I had such a nice companion - did not mention names - merely said a Danoise – home at 11 10 having promised to go tomorrow evening and having given her the letter and billets M. Audoin gave me this morning for her to see the animals and gardens and museum etc. etc. – wrote the above of today till 12 20 – heavy rain just before I got up this morning afterwards fine day – a few drops as I returned home from Lady G-‘s F64° in the salon at 12 ¼ tonight –

[dopescotlandwarrior]

Beauty Chooses II-Chapter 15

           A special thanks to @statell​ for all your help and wisdom

Previous chapters at AO3

Chapter 15 The Bear

My thigh muscles were burning walking up the steep hill to fetch Faith. She is helping a neighbor make apple and peach pies today and it was time for her lessons. Everywhere I look the fields are ripe and nearly ready to harvest. The summer has gifted us with huge crops from perfect rain and sun. The Ridge will do quite well this year.

I have had a low-boil of excitement for the past two months due to no period. What I wouldn’t give for a nearby Walgreens that sells early pregnancy tests. I will just have to wait and pray I was given another chance.

Once we socialized for a while and I admired the beautiful pies, Faith thanked the neighbor and we left for the trek home. I watched her lesson and was very impressed with the math she was doing wondering what a young lady in the 18th century would do with such a gift. It was making my head hurt to think about it, so I excused myself to lay down for a bit. Fighting fatigue is my greatest challenge lately and I find it best to give in and close my eyes each afternoon.

When the bed shook under me I knew Jamie had come to check on me. His warm hands slid down my arms and I yawned and turned toward him smiling.

“Are ye well, Sassenach?”

“Yes.”

“Ye dinna nap in the day usually, until recently. I canna wait any longer lass. Are ye with child?”

“Yes, I believe I am.”

He exhaled audibly and pulled me to him. He touched me like I might shatter with the slightest pressure and I smiled at him.

“I won’t break sweetheart. Perhaps I can show you just how strong I am?”

I reached for his breeks only to have him capture my hands and kiss them. “Another time my love. We are bringin in Floyd’s fields today and they’re waitin on me.”

He kissed my forehead and jumped from our bed. I knew he would be gone until after sunset and I sighed deeply before getting up myself. I found Faith helping Misses Crook shuck corn cobs in the kitchen and kissed her cheeks until she giggled. Glavia still did lessons with Faith every day but was quick to join the man who was courting her in the afternoon. Several times per week Daniel would come for her and they would walk and talk.

I watched them at social gatherings and saw true interest in Daniel. He watched her, always, when she was away from him and his face lit up when she returned. Glavia was sold into servitude by her parents at a young age, but her sharp intellect allowed her to self learn mathematics, literature, history, and advanced writing. Her hunger for knowledge always impressed me but she was in need of a different kind of lesson. There was no one to look after her adult education pertaining to love, courtship, marriage, and sex. It fell to me as I oversaw this beautiful girl.

“Glavia, would you come to my room, please? I want to have a talk with you.”

We sat cross-legged on my bed which seemed to relax her. We talked about Daniel and how the courtship was going. I could see she was in love by the rosy blush that spread across her face and the whimsical look in her eyes.

“Has he kissed you yet?”

“No mistress!”

“Well, it is quite normal at this stage of courtship to be kissed. Have you told him not to?”

“No, he has not asked me.”

“Do you want him to kiss you?”

“I do!”

“Next time you two are alone, like when he walks you home, if he stops and looks into your eyes you must stay focused on his eyes, do not look down at your feet. That tells a man not to kiss you.”

I could see Glavia’s mind working because she wanted to be kissed and would follow my instructions to the letter.

“He can put his arm around your waist when he kisses you but that is all. If his hands are wandering all over your body, you must break the kiss and run home. He is not an honorable man if he does such a thing. If he courts only you and has not asked for your hand in marriage after six months you must move on and find another suitor. Hard as that may be.”

Glavia stared at me through my dissertation and I knew my warnings were burned into her brain. I hugged her before walking downstairs. Her deer-in-the-headlight look tugged at my heart and I was glad I had not gone any further with her lesson today.

Later when I kissed Faith goodnight she asked for Jamie. She was learning one Gaelic word per night and she had not gotten her word yet. I assured her I would send him up the minute he came home. She is such a sweet little girl. I could not imagine speaking to her about kissing men and letting them hold her waist. I would surely poison them before they ever got near her. I giggled down the stairs at the thoughts I was having.

Faith practiced and used the Gaelic words she was learning every day and she would giggle, or gasp, at Jamie when he spoke Gaelic, reminding us both she could sometimes understand him. She was learning, and waited on her father’s instruction every night. It was not usual for a father to spend dedicated time with a daughter. His job was to save for her dowry and see her married as well as possible. I was immensely proud of Jamie for wanting his daughter to learn all she could from him. They had a special bond because of it. ********************** To my eternal happiness, a period never came for nine months. The birth of this child was not as easy as Faith, but like the first time, Jamie was in the bed with me, coaching and encouraging, no matter how many times the attending ladies asked him to leave. Brian James Alexander Fraser was born on March 19th 1753. He has dark curly hair, piercing blue eyes, and a healthy set of lungs. When the baby cried in the night, I would change his diaper and plug him into a nipple, I slept while he nursed. A couple of hours later he would fuss again and I would turn over and give him the other side. He was an easy baby with an abundance of people to answer his every grunt and cry.

Jamie built a bassinet outside that was strung between two trees so the baby could rest and coo outside while I hung laundry. He was just fed and sleeping quietly so I ran into the house for more laundry. I threw a few pieces into the washtub and felt the hair on my arms stand up at the low growling coming from the yard. When I raised my eyes I almost fainted.

A large brown bear ambled around, sniffing the trees, looking for food. He got closer and closer to the baby and I thought I would have a heart attack. I ran off the porch and picked up large rocks to throw but he was too far away. He kept coming so I ran into the house and grabbed the rifle loading it on the porch while the bear got closer. I would have to shoot across the baby to hit the bear. Hopefully, I could make him run away, grab Brian, and run to the safety of the house.

The beast was acting aggressively and stood on his hind legs, smacking his lips together. An invitation to fight. I raised the rifle to my shoulder, aiming right for his head. If I missed, or just grazed him, he would charge me, and Brian was between us in the bassinet. I took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and pulled the trigger. The rifle shot was loud and echoed into the canyon and back again. I hit the bear in his face and he roared, charging at me. I loaded the rifle again with shaking hands, pulled it to my shoulder and shot his face again. He veered off to the side screaming in pain. I ran to Brian, scooping him up before running to the front door.

Misses Crook was white-faced when she ran to me and looked me over. Not minutes later, Jamie came charging through the front followed by Murtagh. I was sobbing and Jamie held us while I told him what happened. When he knew we were alright they headed back out in pursuit of the injured bear.

Brian eventually calmed down and Faith pressed into me for the better part of the afternoon. When Glavia took Brian to the nursery I turned my attention to Faith who was very pale. I hugged her to me and told her not to worry. First bear on the ridge in almost eight years, there wasn’t likely to be another.

Misses Crook called us to eat but I wasn’t hungry. The sun was going down and Jamie wasn’t back yet. The bear must be leading them on a good chase into the forest and when it was so dark to be completely black the bear would turn around and eat them. I shook my head hard to rid the image in my mind and went back to the window.

Some of the men built a large bonfire to guide them back if they were lost, by the light of the flames or by smell. Once Faith was in her bed with Glavia to read to her I went outside to speak with the neighbors. As I approached a cheer went up as Jamie and Murtagh emerged from the trees. They were both bloody and my heart fell as I ran to them.

“Thank ye for the fire, yer good friends to stand out here in the cool night. The bear is still alive, for now anyway, we will gather at first light and try again.”

Someone asked why they were bloody if they had wounds to mend. I was already looking them both over and could see no wounds or punctures from long teeth. I continued to look.

“It isna our blood, Sassenach, I’m not hurt, dinna fash. After sunset, the bear came back and attacked from behind. He grabbed both of us and I shoved my rifle into his mouth and let him chew on the barrel while we got to our feet. He took it, so I’ll be needin to borrow a rifle in the morning.” Jamie pointed at Murtagh, “if the same amount of blood is on me, the bear will bleed out by morning. We can hope.”

Jamie didn’t want to use up all the stored water in the house so he and Murtagh bravely turned toward the stream. I knew it would be intensely uncomfortable in the chilly night air. I grabbed two blankets and followed them.

“Thank ye Sassenach, but yer too far from the house now to walk back alone.”

I used my torch to find them in the water and handed each of them a chunk of soap and inspected their shirts before turning my back. I held the blankets out and felt one pull off my arm, and then the other. Thinking they were both covered by their blanket I turned around to take their clothes and poor Murtagh was hopping in place, trying to free his foot from his trousers. I whipped around again and squeezed my eyes shut as if that would erase the image from my mind.

We all pushed toward home, me, and two half-frozen Highlanders, and it was all I could do to keep my hysterical laughter from erupting. I left them at the fire to warm up and raced to my room where I buried my face in a pillow and let it rip. Bare butt cheeks were only half of it. In the shadow of my torch, I could clearly see Murtagh’s penis bouncing up and down when he hopped. I dared not go back downstairs and wondered if I could ever see Murtagh from behind without laughing. Thank goodness he was unaware.

Misses Crook placed hot bowls of stew in front of the men and kept them full until they both pushed away from the table. Jamie staggered into our room and collapsed on the bed. He smelled delicious and his naked body was filling my mind with things not so funny. I ran my hand over his gorgeous butt and received a loud snore for my efforts. I tried several times to wake him and if he hadn’t been snoring, I might think him dead. I gave up and pulled his lifeless arm over me, that was enough to fall asleep.

I was up in time to see the large gathering of men outside. Many had a rifle, some had a pitchfork. Jamie split them into two groups and taught them a strange whistle to be used when someone found the bear or its blood trail. Many wives ran out to fill their husband's pockets with dried meat and fruit only to have Jamie explain it would bring bears in from every direction and the gifts were pulled out of pockets instantly.

These were brave men who hung on Jamie’s every word. Murtagh went with one group, Jamie with the other, and they disappeared into the trees. I hugged the women and told them not to worry. I suggested we all look for herbs and mushrooms today. The women looked into the trees and shook their heads before scattering to their houses.

Glavia pulled the nursery window open a few inches and I could hear Brian making quite a fuss. Nice hint Glavia, I’m coming.

I was deep into the front yard when I heard him and walked quickly toward the house. Before I reached the front door, I felt my milk let down and my breasts tingle sharply. I started running up the stairs and grabbed Brian to my breast as it flowed into the fabric of my shift. I sat back in the rocking chair panting from my constricting corset and smiled at Faith.

“Good morning, darling. Did you have pleasant dreams?”

Faith put her hand on my leg and looked at her feet. It was clear she was still traumatized from the bear incident and my heart broke.

“Faith, do not worry. Your father has lots of men with him today and they will all stay safe together.”

Faith spoke quickly and I could see she was unsettled. Her words were half Gaelic and half English, and I felt a giggling pride that she had been so devoted to her father’s language. Glavia confessed that Faith requested Gaelic when she spoke to tenants and they were only too happy to correct her pronunciation and teach her the words she lacked to answer them. She looked at me sharply for laughing but I felt my eyes well up with tears and she knew how proud I was of her.

“I have never been so proud of you little girl. Now, I have a new lesson to teach you. Courage.”

“No mama, I am too fearful. I will never be unafraid, as you are, and I canna make myself. I’ve tried.”

“Fearful.” I rolled the word off my tongue thinking of the best way to explain fear. “I am quite familiar with fear actually, it is something I live with every day. It’s either making me shake or hovering in my head ready to fill me with dread at the slightest provocation. I dare say Glavia feels fear often, do you not my dear?”

Glavia nodded her head vigorously.

“Courage simply means feeling the fear and doing the act anyway. Yes, that about sums it up.” I smiled at my explanation until I saw the confusion in Faith’s expression.

“Darling, do you remember when I hit the man with my parasol? I was hugely afraid at that moment, but I hit him anyway because it was the only thing I could do. Courage is like the cavalry riding in to save you, or someone you love, when danger is near.”

“Cavalry.” She tasted the word with a strange expression.

“Sorry, a bit too soon for that word. Courage is that bit in you that rises up in the face of danger and does whatever is necessary to save yourself or someone you care about. It has bigger muscles than your fear and will save you. Yes, that’s better.”

Brian burped loudly in my ear as his head rolled in his sleep. I put him in Glavia’s outstretched hands and turned to my sweet daughter.

“The time will come when you will feel tremendous fear and the way to safety will be clear in your mind. You will do what needs to be done because you know it’s the right thing to do. Each time you do it, will be easier.”

Faith wrapped her arms around my waist and seemed a bit more composed when she left with Glavia to get a snack before lessons. I stayed in the soothing rocking chair and thought about all the times courage pulled me through something scary. Waking up in Jamie’s wood the first time, sailing to France not knowing where I might wake up the next day, walking through the stones, and running to save my family when the redcoats were twenty feet from us. I shook my head to make it stop because my heart was banging in my ears. I dearly hoped Faith would not experience a fraction of that.

I wondered how long it takes to find an injured bear and decided to read on the front porch to be available in case other wives came for news of the hunt. I squinted against the sun making my eyes water and kept them closed until the sting went away. Sometime later, I moved my eyeballs side to side under my lids, aware of the passage of time. My face was in the shadow of the porch when I opened them so I must have fallen asleep some time ago. I felt my smile as I stretched and then froze seeing a large animal not five feet from me.

The bear was walking straight toward me and I couldn’t move. It was huge and dripping blood behind him. I wondered if Jamie was close by and prayed fervently that he was. He was closer now. When I saw his front feet on the steps to the porch the alarm bells were ringing in my ears, I was hyperventilating, but I still couldn’t move. I would have to run past the beast to reach the front door and I couldn’t make myself do it. As I debated my plan the front door swung open and Misses Crook jumped out, followed by Faith and Glavia. They had pots and wooded spoons to beat on them making such a noise it scared the bear and he ran back down the stairs. I jumped to my feet ushering the woman back into the house and slamming the door.

I dropped to my knees and held Faith closely while I panted for air.

“That, my darling, is the very definition of courage. Thank you, all of you, for saving me!”

We crowded close to the window to see the bear, but he was gone. We continued to look until it jumped in front of the window on its hind legs growling at the sight of us. We all screamed and clung to each other. The bear was growling with his horrible mouth wide open and I prayed he would not bang into the glass and get us. I looked around for the rifle before I remembered it was lost and pulled the women away from the window. I told them to run for the nearest neighbor while I distracted the bear. They refused and I implored Glavia to run Faith to safety and scowled at Misses Crook.

The bear was getting frustrated. He could see us but could not get us, so he started pounding on the glass. I screamed at Misses Crook to hide upstairs with the baby. He pounded louder and I have never been so scared. I watched the bear shoot sideways with human hands clutching the fur on his neck and a shiny dirk plunge deep into the neck squirting blood sideways. I could see Jamie on his back, as the bear thrashed the dirk was brought down into his neck again and again. I watched in horror at the huge quantity of blood that pooled on the patio boards and covered Jamie.

Like it was slow motion, he plunged the dirk into the neck and moved it side to side violently. I could tell the bear was losing his strength as it tried to stand up and roar one last time. The bear fell forward with Jamie rolling to the side and getting to his feet. Brave Jackson ran to Jamie with a rifle pointed at the beast’s head. They stood still while the blood pumped out of the animal. There was no more life in the bear so ropes were tied to its legs and he was dragged off the porch and away.

I could hear Brian screaming and raced upstairs to find Misses Crook pacing with a hysterical baby. I took him and dropped into the rocking chair, telling her the bear was quite dead. I rocked my sweet son and hummed to him while I offered a nipple. It took several minutes for him to stop crying and finally latch onto me. I smiled down at him and tried to keep my face calm. “I can be your hero baby I can kiss away the pain I will stand by you forever You can take my breath away”

“I’ve ne’er heard that song mistress.”

My head snapped up, forgetting Misses Crook was still in the room. “It’s Enrique Iglesias, one of my favorites.” She blinked at me like she had never been to my century.

“Could you find Glavia and Faith and bring them home?”

“Aye.”

I watched Brian sleep in my arms. I knew there was chaos happening outside, but for now, it was just me and Brain and all was right in the world. When I had indulged myself enough, I put the baby in his cradle and went downstairs to wait for the women. I thought about Glavia and how sparkling happy she had been lately. My happiness for her ground to a halt and I counted on my fingers how many months it had been since Daniel first came to call on her. I was quite upset I had not watched more closely because by my count it had been well over a year. What could Daniel be waiting for I wondered?

“Glavia, may I speak to you please, before the lesson? How is it going with your suitor, Daniel?”

Her smile illuminated her face for a moment but was quickly replaced with concern. She looked at me strangely, almost like fear.

“It has been over a year Glavia. Has he talked about marriage, has he asked you?”

“No mistress, not yet.”

“He calls on you several times a week, what do you two talk about?”

When she looked at the floor, she tried to answer which was little more than stammering. I was flooded with fear for her suddenly and my question just flew out of my mouth.

“Glavia, has he asked for more than a kiss?”

She shook her head no and started to cry. Now I was really confused. I pulled her to the sofa and calmed myself before asking what her tears were for. It took a bit of time before she answered me.

“He has not asked to kiss me yet. I have done what you said, I look at him when we are together and he gets quiet but he has not asked.”

“Oh dear. Does he act fond of you?”

“Yes, he writes beautiful poetry for me, about love and devotion. He reads it to me out loud and says he wrote the poem for me.”

Her eyes became misty and full of love, but I had not a clue how to guide her. Well, I know what I would have done in this situation.

“Glavia, your courtship has gone on too long. I’m afraid people will talk about you in an unkind way that may interfere with other men courting you, if it comes to that. So, it’s time to say goodbye to Daniel.” When she protested, loudly, I decided it couldn’t hurt to tell her what I would do. “There is one more thing you can try. If he truly loves you, this will work. You kiss him.”

“What?! I couldn’t do such a thing!”

“You can, and you will, because you don’t want to say goodbye. It’s not so bad. Next time you two are alone where no one can see you, just hold his face and kiss him.”

“Hold his face?”

“Softly, like this, and look directly into his eyes, and then..”

“What’s this then?”

I heard Jamie’s voice from the front door and snapped my head up to see him wrapped in a blanket again after washing in the river.

“Do you mind if I use you to demonstrate how to kiss?”

He perked up, “I dinna mind mo chridhe.” He walked to me smiling and looking at my lips. I could tell he meant to lead so I put my hand up to stop him.

“I want you to act like you are not expecting a kiss.”

When he started asking questions, I tenderly held his face and softly kissed him. I felt his arms reach for me after that and suggested he dress before there is any more kissing. He looked cheated but went up the stairs to our room. I turned to Glavia and smiled.

“See? It’s easy, well maybe not the first time because you will be nervous. Maybe you would like to try with Murtagh?”

She shook her head yes and I called the unsuspecting man over to us. “Murtagh, before you disappear to dress can we borrow you for a minute?”

He approached with his usual scowl and Glavia bravely stood up, held his face, and kissed him. And then he fainted dead away.

“Oh dear God, Murtagh… Murtagh, wake up.”

I slapped his cheek a bit and his eyes opened as he scooted back away from us. Glavia was apologizing and walking toward him so he got to his feet and ran to his room. Maybe I should have warned him.

“That was magnificent! Seriously, you did it just right and I’m sure Daniel will not react that way. How do feel about the kiss, can you do it with Daniel?”

“I feel fine about kissing and yes I can do it, this evening when we take our walk.”

With that, she turned to the stairs to start Faith’s lesson. I felt rather wicked for not warning Murtagh and all the talk of kissing was making me uncomfortable. I decided to help Jamie get dressed for his afternoon of chores and maybe a quick explanation of causing Murtagh to faint, the poor man.

I had to help Jamie off the floor he was laughing so hard at Murtagh’s reaction to being kissed. I admit I was almost losing it myself and didn’t know who was helping who up. I was quite sure Murtagh would not speak to me for quite some time, but it was worth it. Glavia seemed to have confidence enough to kiss her boyfriend and I was on pins and needles all evening, waiting for her to come home. It was unusually late when I finally heard the front door open. Jamie and the rest of the household were fast asleep already.

Glavia pressed her back against the door and sighed deeply. She looked weird but I couldn’t put my finger on why.

“How was your evening Glavia?”

She rolled her head to look at me and smiled like she was high. Uh oh. “Well, did you do it?”

She drifted to me like her feet were not touching the ground. When she got closer, I could see the area around her mouth was red and looked painful. Then it hit me, they kissed so much he scratched her delicate skin with his beard. I looked again and decided that was a lot of kissing. Glavia floated upstairs without a word and I prayed a proposal would be coming soon. I made a vow, then and there, to be more careful with the advice I gave.

I waited patiently for the next two weeks, hoping Daniel would speak to Jamie about asking for Glavia’s hand but it never happened. After each date, Glavia would float in with a red mouth and say goodnight. Clearly, I had to meddle in her affairs one more time. When Jamie and I were in bed I broached the subject.

“Jamie, darling, I think you need to speak with Daniel about his intentions for Glavia. It’s been over a year they have been seeing each other and I am worried about her reputation. Will you speak to him, to Daniel, please?”

“Do I order him to marry the lass, or ask why he hasna already?”

“Well, tell him a year of courtship is long enough so he must marry her or never see her again.”

I could feel Jamie thinking about that and he undoubtedly thought it harsh, but I was the one to protect her reputation, so I would keep asking him. A month later, Daniel asked Jamie after church if he might speak with him later in the afternoon. Jamie agreed and I almost fainted with relief. This better be what I think it is or I will throttle that boy myself.

There was great excitement on the Ridge today as we prepared for the harvest festival which usually lasted all night and into the next day. The men had been hunting all week and there was already a pig, three turkeys, and a deer roasting outside. Misses Crook and I made numerous trips to the big tables outside bringing plates of bannocks, fruit salad, and bread. The tables were filling up quickly as we went back to the house for more food. Glavia would not be lending a hand this afternoon. She was sitting on her bed waiting for Daniel’s visit to be over so she could pump Jamie for information.

I thought the door to Jamie’s study was closed for an awfully long time, feeling my relief when Daniel dashed for the front door. I was already dressed for the party and poked my head in to look at my husband. He sat quietly, contemplating his universe and whatever was happening in it. I raised my eyebrows when he looked up and he beckoned me in to sit with him.

“Daniel has asked for Glavia’s hand and I gave my permission, now I feel afraid for the lass because her husband wilna make her happy.” He stood up and walked toward me lifting me and holding me close by my waist. “Tell me Sassenach, are all women like ye? Because Daniel wilna do what I do to ye.”

His eyes were burning with the question because Daniel presented himself as chaste and held that virtue in the highest regard. He knew how to create offspring but saw sex at other times sinful.

“If Glavia is like ye she will have a lonely life.” He pushed the hair behind my ear and looked me in the eye while he ran his fingers down my chest and over my nipple. “I fear he is pious and will not stimulate her interest in the world.”

“Jamie. She is in love and there is no telling her otherwise. Do not take on the burden of her happiness. It is up to Glavia to seek her marital bliss and I have faith in her.”

We were temporarily sidetracked by kissing and celebrating our mutual love, physical and spiritual. The house was filling with the smell of roasting meat and we could hear music and clapping outside. I pulled Jamie to the door and he seemed to shake off his concern and smile in anticipation of the party ahead. Later I saw Daniel steer Glavia away from the party and they disappeared. I sighed deeply hoping I was right about their union because it would soon be too late to undo this.

I bundled Brian up in his blankets and got back to the party in time to see Jamie dancing with his daughter as the crowd clapped. She was in full hero-worship as she watched his feet and copied him to the beat of the music. My eyes stung watching them. She seemed so grown up and was so loved by her father.

Later, I steered Faith toward home and helped her into bed suddenly aware of her need for a Gaelic word from Jamie. She answered me in a string of Gaelic and then translated, “he gave me two words last night.” I kissed her cheeks a dozen times and pulled the quilt up to her chin before turning down the lamp.

“You are my angel, goodnight.”

I put a sleeping Brian into his cradle and went downstairs to help Misses Crook with the catastrophic mess in the kitchen. I could see she was dead on her feet and ordered her to bed. I was still wide awake, waiting for Glavia to come home and tell me her good news.

She came through the door a changed woman, brimming with love, and seeing images of her wedding in her mind. I hugged her to me, so happy she had won her love and determined to meddle when the time was right so she would understand seduction and physical love.

Once Glavia was upstairs with the children I rejoined the party and a drunk Scot assaulted me pulling me to dance with him. I laughed until I lost step with the music, panting from my corset. Jamie whisked me away from the smoke of the fire and by the time I could breathe my back was against a tree and said Scot was chasing my mouth. He pressed into me asking forgiveness and kissed me deeply. I tried to see behind him to verify we were out of sight when my skirts came up to my waist and he pulled me up. My legs went around him and I lowered my head to kiss him as his cock slowly filled me. Christ, what a feeling it was when he first pushed into me. I leaned back against the tree and watched his arousal take off and his pace quicken. He held my head down on his lips and when I pushed away to breathe, he pulled my jacket open and exposed my breasts. That did it. I was in the race to finish with him and almost lost consciousness from my damn corset. My orgasm gripped him hard enough to make him grunt and he followed me into the erotic wind. I felt his kisses on my neck when I opened my eyes. He set me down on my feet and he hugged me closely before we giggled about our adventure.

Jamie was walking back to the house with me when several men were calling him to join in the games. I smiled and pushed him toward the party, wanting him to enjoy this night of fun that came only once a year. I banked the fire and turned the lamps down before heading upstairs reaching behind me to grab one of my laces and failing. I peeked into the nursery and Brian and Faith were sound asleep. Glavia whispered to me and I almost shot out of my skin. I pulled her to my room and closed the door. She helped me out of my corset and into a robe so we could talk.

She described the way Daniel proposed to her and thought it the most romantic speech ever said. I found it devoid of emotion and pious, suddenly sharing Jamie’s concern for her happiness. We would have to see how long dear Daniel can resist a beautiful, young, wife who is schooled in seduction. I would make sure Glavia knew what to do, even if it meant Murtagh fainting again, or worse. On second thought, maybe we should leave Murtagh out of this. What I intended to teach her wasn’t as innocent as a kiss.

[guksthighs]

Elf || jhs (i)

Your childhood stories of Santa’s magical reindeer are missing one crucial fact - that they’re all hybrids who once a year transform into the famous flying icons to help with present delivery/ If only you’d been told this as a young elf, before growing up and insisting on looking after one on Christmas day.

header by @jiminspjm​

wordcount: 6.5k

genre: fluff, crack (smut in pt.2)

The sunrise was just appearing over the snow-covered mountains when you finally reached your cabin, the orange light glinted off your keys as you pulled them out of your bag, before you let yourself pause for a second to appreciate the view in front of you.

Your village sat in the middle of a huge valley, peaked snow capped mountains surrounding it from every angle and because of your position in the Christmas Team, you were able to live in a cabin situated away from everyone else.

Snow dusted the cabin’s roof and as you turned to let yourself into one of the nine identically built houses, lined up in a place where everyone from the village could look up and admire, you heard female laughter from inside the wooden walls.

Of course, your peaceful morning wouldn’t stay that way for long, you mused. With a satisfied smile, you unlocked the door and swung it open, “Rise and shine Jung Hoseok!”

Your voice echoed around the corridor before you heard a heavy thud followed by Hoseok’s low morning voice, “Fuck!” There was a short pause before you began to walk up the stairs towards his door, when Hoseok quickly shouted, “You cannot open this door.”

The presence of red heels that weren’t yours and the vague scent of floral perfume were further clues to another female presence in the cabin apart from yours, “Why not? Is someone here?” The sound of your trainers against the wooden floor was quieter without the crunch of fresh snow underfoot, but Hoseok still heard you approaching.

Finally, as your hand was reaching for his door handle, he opened it enough to frown at you, “What are you doing here?” Hoseok’s brown hair was dishevelled, strands sticking up at odd angles and you raised an eyebrow at the huge lovebite on his neck.

“What is she doing here?” You questioned back, tilting your head as you went to look past his topless figure into the room, “You’re on a strict schedule right now and your coach said no more flings!”

Hoseok frowned before lifting both of his hands and moved them as if to smooth down his hair, but you knew he was actually checking that his antlers hadn’t appeared - which they tended to do when he felt any sort of intense emotion. Then with a smile, he sighed and leant against the door frame, “it’s only November babe, don’t get your ears all twisted up about it.”

You could feel your pointed elven ears straighten in anger at his comment because he knew just how conscious you were of them and just as you were getting ready to shoot back an insult, a voice called from the other room, “Hoseokie, baby, don’t be so mean to her! You should be so lucky an elf wanted to look after you in the first place with her high status.”

The house fell silent as Hoseok watched your face in embarrassment; he had slept with a social climber and it seemed he’d only just realised it from the way he was squeezing his hands together in front of him, like a child ready to get told off for drawing all over a wall.

Luckily, you were expecting her to be respectful of your position as an elf so with a slight shake of your head at Hoseok, you began walking away, calling, “You better be gone by the time I finish writing this email to Hoseok’s coach.”

Hoseok watched you walk away with a smirk, you wouldn’t send an email and as he mused about the small pout on your face and how good your lips would feel against his, a warm hand wrapped itself around his waist and his mind froze.

“When they say you’re the best of the elite they really mean it Hoseokie,” she laughed, fingertips dancing lightly against his bare stomach until he took a step forward and out of her reach.

Hoseok awkwardly cleared his throat, “you need to go now. Last night was fun but a man stays elite by following his regime.” His eyes darted up to take in the amused look on the girls face as she zipped up one of his hoodies over the candy cane striped dress that had caught his eye in the first place.

“I guess I can be your little secret then-“ her statement was cut off as she watched you open the door and begin throwing her heels and purse out of the cabin and into the snow. Hoseok watched in a mixture of intrigue and amusement as the girl stormed out of the door, turning to scream something at you which was promptly cut off when you closed the door on her.

No words were exchanged between the two of you. Hoseok walked back into his room to get changed and you collapsed onto the sofa, exhausted from a night of studying to remember that keeping Hoseok in line was also a job.

The town you lived in wasn’t normal, it was a place where legends were real and your job was to make sure that on Christmas Eve, Nicholas had his nine magic reindeers ready to pull his sleigh. It had been your dream to be a Reindeer Carer since you were young and even after being shut down and told it was impossible because you were an elf, you kept going until finally you were introduced to Jung Hoseok.

It was your first year on the job and from the moment you’d moved in with Hoseok, it felt like he’d decided to make you quit but it was going to take more than a bratty, egotistical reindeer shifter for you to give up on your dream job.

++

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“So are you starting to regret claiming this was going to be your dream job?” Yoongi was sitting at the table, sifting through your paperwork absentmindedly because of his amusement at watching you tidy up after Hoseok.

You turned to look at him, holding a pile of dirty plates with two jumpers resting on your shoulder, “I’m a glorified babysitter Yoongs, it’s exactly what I thought it would be.” The fact that you had to tidy up after Hoseok, who was currently training when you knew Jimin, Yoongi’s partner did everything in his ability to make it easy for the older boy, annoyed you at how good he had it.

The opposites in the reindeer shifter’s behaviour was impressive but you weren’t really complaining because Hoseok was nowhere near as bad as you’d been warned he would be. So walking into the kitchen you placed the plates in the dishwasher before folding his jumpers and placing them on the table next to Yoongi who was watching you with an unreadable look.

“I will admit Y/N,” Yoongi tilted his head with a smile as you sat down in front of him with a sigh, “Hoseok has been much better with you. I feel like you’ve really had an impact on him and let me say a lot have tried before you.” He watched your pointed ears perk up slightly before the ends began to darken in a display of your embarrassment at the compliment from a veteran manager.

Quickly you opened your laptop, pulling up a file before darting your gaze up to look at Yoongi and nod slightly, “that was out of nowhere dude, you can’t just be nice to me without a warning.” Yoongi shook his head before he went back to looking through your work, helping you to separate Hoseok’s documents from your dissertations and research.

He tried not to smile at the irony of you mixing up your studying with the boy that had obviously taken up more of your life than he was meant to. Managers are really only meant to ensure that the reindeer shifter they’ve been assigned to are attending training, following their regimes and it’s only during their heat period which lasts from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day that their duties become slightly blurred.

But officially, managers were merely there for support. Yoongi raised an eyebrow as he looked up to see you typing away on your keyboard; officially you weren’t meant to work as hard as you. Even if Hoseok was a special case.

The crackle of the log fire, turning of paper and the tapping of your keyboard filled the silence of the cabin as you both busied yourselves. It was unusual to have a visit from Yoongi, you mused, risking a glance up at the elder boy who was sat engrossed in a piece of your writing.

Yoongi had always been like a brother to you, but in the professional setting you felt like you had so much to learn about how to be the most useful resource for Hoseok as possible. Even then, Yoongi hadn’t come today at your request or because he wanted to offer tips, he’d come to hand-deliver the invitation for the Christmas Ball - which was merely an event to remind the people of the high status the reindeers possessed in their society.

You’d been attending them from a young age because your parents ran the present wrapping department, as well as being pure-blooded elves. But the idea of going as Hoseok’s date had made your head swirl with worry at the idea he would try and make a move on you, or even complain and try and bring someone else.

A frown was beginning to form at the idea of having to defend your place as his date to the ball, which you’d been given strict instructions from Yoongi to do, as the last few years Hoseok had brought his own date. But before you could get properly worked up in all the possibilities, Yoongi cleared his throat opposite you, obviously aware of your spiralling mind.

“Have you seen him transformed, in person, yet?” He ventured, an eyebrow raised as he tapped a photograph on the table of Hoseok’s form. You shook your head thinking of the way his antlers had only popped out a handful of times since you’d been living together.

Yoongi grinned, “you’re in for a surprise then. A lot of managers quit after seeing them transform for the first time,” he noticed the frown on your face and shrugged, “you’ve read the brief I’m sure. They’re experiencing their heat period so their transformations don’t turn them into cute fluffy reindeers but huge, powerful animals that only have eyes for the people who have looked after them for the last few months. It can be a lot for a newbie.”

“If I can handle him in this annoying, messy form I’m sure I can handle a horny reindeer,” you laughed before your ears pricked up at the sound of footsteps crunching in the snow outside. Yoongi noticed your shift in posture and gave you a questioning look because Hoseok’s training didn’t finish for another hour, even though you could hear his keys in the door.

When you looked up, ready to make an excuse for Hoseok skipping training you saw the grin on Yoongi’s face before he rocked back on his chair and crossed his arms, as if daring you to go put your boy in check - which you knew you were going to have to do the second the waft of pizza met your nose.

“Nice to see you back so early,” you greeted him with a smile, leaning against the doorframe hoping to obscure Yoongi from his vision, so he wouldn’t change the topic. Hoseok had frozen, eyes wide as he slowly tried to hide the pizza box behind him with an embarrassed smile playing on his lips.

It wasn’t the first time he’d broken his strict diet, or even come back early from training, which you could see he’d attended for a bit from the way his hair was sticking up at odd angles. Once the pizza box was completely tucked behind his back, Hoseok laughed, “Coach told me I did well today and could leave early,” you raised an eyebrow and nodded dubiously.

“At least give me a slice of your pizza instead of scoffing it all yourself,” you grinned, taking a step forward and reaching behind his back to grab the box from his loose grip. Once it was in your hands, you ran into the kitchen, skidding on the polished floor before placing it on the table in front of Yoongi. Both of you quickly grabbed a slice each, and you let a quiet moan at the taste of greasy deliciousness against your tongue.

Hoseok walked over with a smile, clapping Yoongi on the shoulder before raising an eyebrow at his friend, “are you visiting my girl often?”

“Your what?” You choked, eyes wide at the term he’d used and the possessiveness Hoseok was showing about you. That was until you saw the look Yoongi gave you, reminding you of his early warnings about the intense nature of the shifters during this time.

It seemed even Hoseok was shocked by his choice of words as he laughed and grabbed a slice of pizza before shrugging, “you guys don’t really have official names. I feel like my manager is even worse than my girl. Plus I don’t even see you like one of those stuck up boring helpers, you’re just more interesting.” He grinned at you before busying himself eating the pizza but Yoongi was fixing you with a warning look.

Hoseok was being fuelled by his hormones right now, and no matter how sweet he was being, you needed to stay professional to the bitter end.

++

+++

++

Hoseok was late.

It wasn’t like the meeting was hugely important, it could be worse you thought, eyes darting from the typed pages in front of you up to the door with the hopes he would burst through at any point.

But he didn’t and the sponsor in front of you was beginning to look agitated, the tap of her pen hastened before finally she stood up, walking to the whiteboard before nodding at you. “I feel we’ve waited long enough.”

Your back straightened instinctively as you pretended to absentmindedly flick through the papers of her proposal, hoping the sponsor would see his tardiness as a business “mind-game” to get them to see how desired he was. In reality, it was merely his crappy personality but they didn’t need to know that.

With a smile, you placed the papers on the table, “I understand this meeting was scheduled to start fifteen minutes ago, however you must understand that Hoseo- I mean Mr Jung is a busy man. I do apologise for his lack of appearance however he is often swept up with interviews that run over and he takes his training very seriously in preparation for the big day.”

The lady in front of you nodded, her eyes had been narrowed slightly as if she was questioning your words but now she seemed more understanding. Then with a quick glance at her watch, the sponsor nodded, “I’ve got another meeting soon but our company want to sponsor Mr Jung, his lack of presence will be noted, but his face being associated with our candy canes would greatly improve sales and-“

“I’m sorry to keep you beauties waiting,” Hoseok’s hair was messy and his cheeks were flushed from the cold air outside. You tried to hide your smile when he sat down next to you and placed his hand on yours that was absentmindedly tapping on the table.

Your heart stuttered and you quickly moved your hand out of his grasp, worried that the sponsor would see this and think that you weren’t professional enough for her company. Luckily, she was busy rifling through her bag for something and with a smile wider than the ones you’d previously been receiving, the sponsor reached over the table and shook Hoseok’s hand.

“It is so lovely to see you Mr Jung,” her voice sounded slightly forced and your eyes darted up from the contract papers to watch her in slight confusion, “don’t you think it’s a shame that even with your new elf manager, you’re still late to meetings.”

Hoseok frowned, watching the sponsor sit down and now she seemed much more professional than before. She placed a pen on top of the contract details for the sponsorship that you’d just pushed in front of him, fixing you with an intense stare. “Are you aware that this is the third time we’ve offered him a sponsorship? Every time we end up cancelling it for one reason or another.”

Something about what she was implying frustrated you and not only was the feeling of your ears heating at the implication that you were unworthy of this position because of your status - which wasn’t the first time you would’ve heard that you should be something better than just a reindeer manager. But the fact that she was belittling Hoseok, with no reaction from him was frustrating you.

So without really thinking, you took a deep breath and relaxed into your chair, placing your hand on top of Hoseok’s as he was about to write his signature, to grab the pen from his grip. “If you don’t feel Hoseok is the correct fit for your company image, then there is no need for this sponsorship.”

You could feel Hoseok turn to look at you in confusion, possibly because this morning, over breakfast, he’d warned you that this meeting was useless and that he had no interest in being the face of a candy cane product. Now he was wondering if maybe he shouldn’t have shared this information with you, even though he was finding seeing you defend him like this quite hot.

The sponsor was busy looking between the two of you in slight confusion but you hadn’t quite finished yet, picking up the contract you placed it in front of the woman, “it looks like this year Jung Hoseok won’t be signing with you again.”

With a self-satisfied smile, you stood up from your chair, leaving your pages of research and information about the company on the table and with a squeeze to Hoseok’s broad shoulder, you both walked out of the room without another word.

“Are you kidding me?”

Hoseok’s hands were on your shoulders, his grip was firmer than you were expecting and quickly ice ran through your veins at the idea that maybe, he had wanted that sponsorship. Maybe you’d read the situation completely wrong and were about to be fired.

But instead, Hoseok pulled you into his chest, squeezing you tightly and you felt your whole body relax at the scent of pine trees overwhelmed your senses. Then with a final squeeze, you were realised from his grip, “Y/N! I’ve sat through those dumb meetings more times that I can count and finally someone fucking listened to me! I’ve already got an offer to be the face of a new shoe company so don’t worry about that side of things. You’re fucking great!”

His smile was contagious and you scrunched your nose slightly at the compliment, “you can’t be late for meetings just because you don ’t want to sign Hoseokie,” you laughed, both of you walking out of the centre and into the icy air of the village, “you left me all alone with her you dick!”

“Let me make it up to you then?” Hoseok’s tone had changed, his smile broadened before he winked at you.

You rolled your eyes, “or you could make it up to me by coming to meetings on time?”

“We both know that won’t happen, so I’m going to make it up to you tomorrow on my day off,” he grinned before watching you check the time and look up at him with a raised eyebrow, because he’d obviously forgotten about training, “I’m going to training! Tomorrow wear something very warm, we’re going on a long walk!”

++

+++

++

The forest was beautiful in the winter, with its huge snow covered pines mixed in with the barren, lifeless branches of other trees. The jacket you’d chosen to wear wasn’t thick enough for the temperature of the morning air that bit against your nose and made your fingers go numb. But you were willing to put up with the discomfort to watch the look on Hoseok’s face as he took in the scenery around you.

It could only be described as magical, you decided, following the footprints left by Hoseok that were the only thing denting the perfect blanket of pure white snow covering the floor. The snow here in the forest was so different to in the village, it was undisturbed and you felt like a child as you found yourself placing your foot perfectly in the print of the boy ahead of you.

“Isn’t it amazing?” Hoseok laughed, arms spread and head tilted back as he took in the scenery and just as he finally closed his eyes, you bent down and quickly crafted a snowball. It only took a few seconds for you to stand back up, before aiming and getting it to land directly on the crown of his head.

You laughed, before squealing when Hoseok locked eyes with you and started running in your direction, his laugh echoed in the forest and knowing you’d be unable to hide from him, you quickly hid behind a wide tree.

“Found you!”

Hoseok had pinned you against the tree before you could even try and dodge his attack, and the sudden action caused a branch above you to dump its pile of snow on top of your heads causing you both to laugh again.

You hadn’t felt this carefree in years, and looking up at Hoseok’s flushed and smiling face, you wondered if he felt the same. Between pants you managed to gasp, “it’s beautiful here.”

He nodded, before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your forehead, “I’m happy you let me share it with you.” With that he dropped your arms from his grip and went back to walking through the forest, turning for a second to gesture for you to follow, which you’d forgotten with how loud your mind had become following that simple kiss.

Maybe he’d meant nothing with it, but maybe he’d meant more than just a friendly kiss to the forehead.

You didn’t have time to question Hoseok as you went back to wading through the snow behind him, but your heart still didn’t slow down and you found all he’d done was raise questions you weren’t sure either of you had the answers to.

++

+++

++

“Why’re you still awake?”

The starlight was no longer your only company as you looked over your shoulder to see Hoseok standing at the door of the balcony, eyes barely open with a blanket resting on his broad shoulders. His nose scrunched as his bare feet landed on the snow covered wood outside before he shuffled over to you, the blanket grazed your arm before he moved to throw it over your shoulders as well.

For a bit you were both silent, watching the steam of your hot chocolate drift up in the cold night air, but Hoseok cleared his throat before nudging your side, “so? It’s four in the morning.”

“I’m not sure,” you replied, squeezing your hands around the mug and fixing your eyes at the sky wondering why you weren’t telling him to go to bed so he would make his morning practice and not skip it again. But for now you were okay to stand next to him and absorb the peaceful quiet together.

It didn’t take long before Hoseok cleared his throat, hand reaching out as he picked up a handful of snow from the balcony, “I’m sorry. You’re not a bad manager, maybe we just don’t work well together?”

Finally he had caught your attention and you turned to look at him in confusion, “you don’t think we work well together?” It was a blow to hear that from him when everyone had been congratulating you on keeping the notorious rule breaker in such good shape and you wondered if you were being too strict to him, if maybe you were making this stressful time even worse.

Hoseok stepped away from you, the blanket slipped and landed on the floor but neither of you moved to pick it up.

He stood staring at you before looking down at his hands that had turned pink from the cold, “No, I just think that- well I’ve been thinking that maybe- not maybe- you just- you’re awake at four in the morning Y/N!” Hoseok sighed, running a hand through his hair before bending to pick up the blanket, shaking it out before moving forward with it spread as if to drape it over your shoulders,

But you weren’t having it, “so you think I should quit because you think I can’t handle you,” you smiled before placing your hands atop his and squeezing, “I think I can manage for another few days.” And it was true, the reason you were awake wasn’t because Hoseok was hard to handle but because your head was swimming with thoughts and feelings for him.

And how were you meant to tell him that? That maybe sleeping with him curled up behind you, feeling his languid heartbeat against your back made yours race uncontrollably. It was unprofessional and as much as the way you liked the way he would sit down next to you and pull your legs onto his lap, or the sound of his voice in the morning when you were waking him up, it wasn’t worth disrupting him by swapping managers or even sacrificing your dream job for.

You looked up at him, placing a hand atop his head before stroking his soft hair slightly, he looked so deep in thought that you smiled before poking the crease in his forehead gently, “stop frowning and go to bed. I’m not quitting and you’re not the reason I’m still awake.”

Hoseok tilted his head slightly in consideration, before reaching up to grab your hand and intertwine his fingers with yours, his other hand holding the blanket before he walked back into the cabin, dragging your figure with him.

“Time for bed,” he looked over his shoulder and grinned at you, before squeezing your hand, “I don’t want my manager to become an iceblock.” You sighed and shut the door behind you, hoping that your thoughts of pressing your lips against his, feeling his icy hands run through your hair and his delicate kisses pepper your skin.

Instead you would be happy with his tight grip on your hand, as he dragged you into your room.

Hoseok paused as he watched you climb into bed, shifting slightly from foot to foot and you looked up at him with amusement, “you okay there Seokie?” He tried to hide his smile at your nickname for him before he rolled his neck once as if debating saying what he was about to.

“I’m just still so cold from going outside to rescue you from your early morning thoughts so I was wondering if maybe I could cuddle with you tonight?” His nose scrunched slightly as he tried to hide his smile when you shifted over in your bed, patting the empty space with a dramatic roll of your eyes.

As someone who had lived in freezing conditions for six months of the year, you knew that he was exaggerating but this once you were going to let yourself indulge in your needs. As Hoseok slid into the covers next to you, shifting closer to you and resting his hand on your waist, you justified your actions by telling yourself this would be the last time you did this.

But as you slowly slipped into sleep and felt Hoseok’s hand move to hold your hand that rested in front of your chest, his warm fingers tracing your cold ones, you knew it wouldn’t be the last time you felt his embrace.

Just before sleep claimed you with its warm, comforting grip, you could’ve sworn you felt Hoseok kiss the back of your head, his thumb slowly stroking the back of your hand but it wasn’t the time to obsess over inaccuracies encouraged by your need of sleep. So you let yourself shift closer to his chest and fall asleep, surrounded by the scent of pine trees and hot chocolate.

++

+++

++

The bed was cold when you woke up, hand instinctively stretching out to feel the empty space where Hoseok had been previously curled up, which was now icy. It had been like this for a week now; waking up to Hoseok’s weight dipping the mattress late at night and then finding him gone in the morning.

Your cabin felt empty and as you got up, shuffling into the kitchen to make a coffee, you wondered when the snow stopped being a beautiful feature of the landscape to something that made you feel suffocated by. The snow turned the view into a blank canvas every morning and as you sipped at your coffee, steam warming your chin as its long tendrils grazed across your face, you felt yourself being lost in that silence again.

Hoseok was confusing, a mess and obviously in the process of hiding from you.

It hurt your heart to go from feeling like you knew exactly what was going through his mind to being cast out and unable to even see him for long enough to try and decipher the inner workings of his mind with a few hints. But as his manager, you knew that wasn’t your job, you nodded at that thought, maybe this distance he’d created was to remind you of your place.

The slight buzz of your phone broke your attention from staring out at the landscape and you quickly fumbled to answer it, voice croaky from having not been used yet, “this is Y/N speaking, Hoseok’s manager.”

“Good morning, Jung Hoseok hasn’t attended his training this morning and he missed it yesterday, I was wondering if you could account for his whereabouts?” The voice was gruff on the other line and your eyes widened in embarrassment hearing that Hoseok wasn’t attending his compulsory activities. You had a sick feeling that it would get to the big day and he’d find himself unable to transform or worse lift the sleigh.

Quickly you cleared your throat and placing the cup on the snow covered table, you walked back inside and grabbed your laptop, “I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll make sure he attends his next session-“ you paused busy tracking his phone from your computer when the voice on the other line finished your sentence.

“Tomorrow. He has a session tomorrow and if he’s not there on time, I will be forced to report both you and him.” You nodded, before realising the caller couldn’t see your reaction and quickly stuttered an agreement before hanging up, staring down at Hoseok’s location with a heavy sigh.

He was sitting on his bench.

With that slight revelation and the fact it was only a few minutes walk, you slid your feet into your trainers and pulled on the thickest jacket you owned, before walking out of the front door and heading further up the hill towards where you would find Hoseok.

The walk was calming, your heartbeat finally began to slow down from the stressful idea of being reported and with a sigh you let yourself pause to take in the view, trying to enjoy it instead of criticise it. But that was when you caught sight of Hosoek’s figure, slightly hunched over on the bench and quickened your pace when a gust of icy wind rolled over your face.

“You’ve been ignoring me.”

Hoseok seemed smaller than usual and when he looked up at you, his eyes were swimming with problems too difficult for you to begin to understand. So following your instincts as a friend over a manager, you sat down next to him, placing your hand on your knee as you tried to find the words to comfort him in a problem you didn’t even understand.

“Don’t you find the snow suffocating-“

Your words were cut off when Hoseok’s lips pressed against yours, and for a split second all you could taste was the hot chocolate against his lips and the heat from the sigh that left his mouth once he’d pulled away slightly.

He turned to you, a slight smile playing on his lips, “what are we doing?” You tilted your head in interest at his question but he continued, “I like you and- well- I can’t stop feeling that way.” Hoseok looked down at his bare hands that had were slightly pink at the fingertips, “trust me I’ve tried to stop.”

A rush of feelings filled your chest, slowly reaching out your hand and placing it atop his, “maybe you don’t have to stop.” That was when you finally reached up and pressed your lips against his, eyes closing as you let yourself get lost in his touch before quickly pulling away and running a hand through his hair with a grin, “also you have to go to training tomorrow or else we’re both getting fired."

++

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++

It was finally Christmas Eve, or ‘The Big Night’ as everyone called it in the village and in your opinion it had come sooner than you would’ve liked; the barn was full of the other shifters and their managers with everyone cheering and laughing in excitement for the event that was counted down to the second it finished.

But as you looked at Hoseok, admiring his chocolate brown eyes and the long, pointed antlers that were currently nestled against his curly hair, you wondered if maybe now was the time to admit that you liked him.

“Are you nervous?” Hoseok whispered, bending down with his lips so close to your ear that they grazed the flesh slightly. He quickly straightened his back and grinned at you, “this is your first time seeing my form.”

“Why would I be nervous?”

He rolled his eyes, turning away to begin stretching his limbs before glancing at you and winking, “maybe because you’ll realise I’m not completely human and some find that scary.”

With that you tucked your hair behind your ears, rolling your eyes, “I’m sure I can handle it.” The racing of your heart said otherwise as Hoseok leant in and pressed a kiss to the tip of your ear, quickly you reminded yourself that he wasn’t fully himself, that if you allowed yourself to fall into these feelings you’d end up hurt.

And maybe it was the festive spirit of optimism that filled you in that moment, or something even more magical like fate, but in a rush of confidence, you locked eyes with Hoseok and leant up to press a chaste kiss against his lips. When you pulled back it felt like the barn had disappeared, leaving just you and Hoseok with his huge round eyes that were looking you in shock.

“Can we do that again?” He mumbled, already leaning in to place a kiss to the tip of your pointed ear. The feeling of your heart racing and knowing that you only had a few more moments with Hoseok spurred you on to place your hands on his hips and kiss him again.

It was passionate, probably too much for a public setting and you felt your bodies lean into each other so close that it felt like you were merging into one being. His lips moved against yours in an effortless dance and when Hoseok sucked against your bottom lip before licking at the seam of your mouth, you quickly deepend the kiss.

The feeling of him kissing you was something completely different to anything you’d felt previously: in the forest with his chaste, stolen kisses and even the languid ones shared when you woke up wrapped in his arms. You felt desired, you felt wanted and for the first time you felt what might be love conveyed through the simple action of kissing.

Hoseok’s hands traced down your spine before he pulled away from you, crouching for a second to grab your thighs and haul you up, so you were being carried in his arms with your legs wrapped tightly around his slim waist. It was only then, when you heard the gasps and slight applause from around you that you remembered just where you were and against your better judgement, let Hoseok place you firmly back on the floor with a little giggle.

“You two really know how to put on a show,” Yoongi laughed, rolling his eyes at your flushed face and Hoseok’s slightly swollen lips. “Now that those two have stopped, I think it’s time for everyone to get into their positions?”

Nodding quickly, you began walking to where Hoseok’s position was in the line, only to feel his hand grab yours and interlace his fingers with you, pulling you into his chest so he could press one last kiss to the crown of your head. And when you turned to tell him off for the scene you’d both made, he pressed a kiss to your lips before gesturing with his head that you should move out of the way.

You felt an arm sling over your shoulder, turning to see Yoongi looking at you with a smile as he squeezed and said, “I’d close your eyes for this bit.” Which you did, casting on last look at Hoseok, watching him smile and wink at you before his antlers began to grow and then your eyes were covered by Yoongi’s hand.

It was probably a good thing he did that as well, the prospect of seeing a human morph into a reindeer isn’t the most attractive thing and when Yoongi finally moved his hand, you were face to face with Hoseok’s reindeer form. His pelt was a deep brown and with a tentative hand, you stroked it slightly, smiling when he moved to rest his head on your shoulder, nosing slightly into your ear.

“Everyone get strapped up!”

You nodded, stepping away from Hoseok and stroking his furry cheek, you leant in and placed a light kiss to his nose, “stay safe.” He snorted slightly and you could see that even in this form, his eyes still had the same mischievous sparkle.

It was unheard of for a manager to have a relationship with who they were assigned to but as you watched Hoseok trot off, your mind was already beginning to fill with questions and then a wave of calm hit you. You had feelings for Jung Hoseok and he felt the same way, everything else would fall into place but those were the two most important pieces of information.

This year it would be your first Christmas spent with someone who truly loved you, for you.

++

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Jessnote: soooo it’s been a while! Honestly, I’m not happy with this but I already had one extension with this huge collab and felt weird not posting it now. to put a long story short can y’all pray for my love life bc she’s a mess right now,, anyway, i think my writing style has changed a lot?? what do you guys think? i’ve missed you all and would really appreciate to hear from you!!

also thank you to @jiminspjm​ for the amazing header and being a complete angel,,,

ARE YOU INTERESTED IN A PART TWO (+SMUT) ?

> MERRY CHRISTMAS <

[zuucc]

SOMEONE YOU LOVED: W. Nylander I FLUFF/SMUT

Words: 8K

Angst meter: I wrote the word tear(s) 25 times (honorable mention: heart - 19 times)

Summary: Being in a relationship with a professional hockey player wasn’t easy. In fact, it was too hard. To protect your heart, you’d ended the relationship. Having had you to fall back on during the hardest time of his career, William now found it hard to cope when life got too hard - now that he didn’t have you.

Author’s note: I’ve had the song “Someone you loved” by Lewis Capaldi on repeat for two four weeks straight and this angsty shit is the result of that. Also, I started this before Babcock was fired (THANK THE GODS). Hope you like it<3

Special thanks to @mcdraisaitl​ for not only being my spell check but also my personal thesaurus (unfortunately there are no synonyms for tear/s)

Masterlist linked in bio.

It was way too late for William to still be awake. The morning practice and his teammate’s waiting car getting closer every time he looked at the numbers on his phone screen. Too close. He was so ridiculously tired. There was no way he could keep his eyes open for more than a few seconds, but he still couldn’t sleep. He still couldn’t shut his brain off.

He didn’t understand why he had to go through all of this all over again. He’d been playing well enough, making assists in almost every game, scoring – making his teammates better. Still, he felt the same as the season before.

Terrible.

But this time it was worse, even if he felt he didn’t really deserve it this time. Last year he’d had someone to fall back on, someone who would hold him and tell him that everything was going to be alright. Last year he’d had someone to save him from his darkest thoughts, someone who helped him escape – made him laugh, and smile. Made him forget, just for a few hours.

Last year there was always someone waiting for him after his worst games, even if they weren’t there, at least they were just a phone call away. There was someone in his bed when he came home, opening their arms to hold him, or pressing their body against his for him to get lost in something else for once.

Last year he had you.

But you had left a long time ago. You left when it got too tough. When the challenges of being with someone who was never there, someone who would leave for weeks – for the entire summer – got too difficult to deal with.

You were two years deep into university when you’d met; the pressure of exams, lectures and a pending dissertation resting on your shoulders. Along with that you had a part time job and friends. And living as far away from your family as you did, had you holding onto those friendships for dear life. Making time for all that was hard, in general. But trying to make time for a boyfriend that had an even worse schedule than you made it even harder.

So you took the hardest decision you’d ever made and disappeared from his life. You left, with tears streaming down your face for days on end and the weight of not only having broken your own heart, but his as well. You’d protected yourself, protected your heart.

And he couldn’t blame you.

“I have to protect myself Will,” you’d cried, pressing one last kiss to his lips before you’d crawled out of his bed, throwing on your clothes that laid scattered all over the floor. He’d laid awake all night, tears falling silently down the side of his face and onto his pillow as he tried calling you for the twentieth time that night without any luck. And then he’d gotten up and gone on the longest flight to Sweden of his life. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried to his mom, but he’d broken down the second he got in her car at the airport.

That was nearly five months ago. William thought that maybe he’d gotten over you, but as soon as the hockey season started again, and life came crashing down on him again with the pressure of the entire city of Toronto looking over his shoulders, and a coach that only pushed him down further.

His mind returned back to what wasn’t there anymore to help him stay away from his darkest thoughts during the last season, the only one that could help him forget them. The one that had helped him get through last season and all that came with it... The one that made him feel so loved that whatever the media had said, or the comments on Instagram and Twitter said – what Babcock said - didn’t matter at all.

~

“Can I sleep here?” he asked.

To say you were at a loss for words was an understatement, already in shock when you opened the door and found your ex-boyfriend standing in the hallway of your apartment building.

“I don’t sleep anymore. I have a game tonight and I haven’t slept for even one second tonight because life is pretty shitty right now and you’re not there to fix it. Life is so fucking hard right now and I can’t sleep without you.”

His words break your heart all over again. You’d struggled for so long trying to forget him, that you broke his heart. You’ve never really forgotten him though. It’s pretty hard when his face is plastered all over the city – on a poster at the bus stop, or an ad on TV – his name on the back of someone who just walked past you. And every time you’re reminded of what you had together; and what you did to him.

You finally open the door fully, letting him step inside. He walks past you, kicking off his shoes and hanging up his coat before he takes your hand and leads you to your bedroom. He motions for you to lay down, and you do - opening your arms for him like you’d done so many times the year before - letting him rest his head on your chest while your legs tangled. Your hand found its way into his hair as his face nuzzled into your neck.

Your body tensed up as you felt the first tear soak through the thin material of your t-shirt, your arms tightening around him as you fought to keep your own at bay.

“I need you,” he weeps, letting his arm curl around your back and pull you to him.

“I know,” you swallow the giant lump in your throat, just barely getting the words out in a whisper before your resolve breaks and there’s a stream of tears cascading down the sides of your face.

Just a few minutes later his body starts to feel heavier on top of yours and you can hear his breaths change. And as he sleeps with his head on your chest and his leg intertwined with yours, you struggle to keep your crying from turning into sobs. You struggle to keep still and quiet and not let the overbearing regret, guilt, and heartbreak from seeing him again – from seeing first hand how badly you broke him – wake him up.

Somewhere in the middle of the four hours that you laid there, clinging onto his sleeping form, your roommate came home. The door wasn’t closed all the way and she opened it, peeking inside in confusion. As you met her eyes, more tears started streaming down your cheeks, and you lifted your hand from his hair to hold a finger against your lips, begging her to not say anything, and with a worried look she backed out again.

It was the least you could do. Just to let him sleep when you were part of the reason why he couldn’t.

He didn’t wake up before the smart watch on his wrist started buzzing, an alarm telling him that he needed to leave soon. He groaned, nuzzling his face into your neck for a second before he tore his body away from yours. Your eyes met, and you could tell that he noticed your blood shot eyes and wet cheeks by the way his face fell when he looked at you. His hand came up to your face, cupping your cheek in his big palm – a thumb coming up to catch the drop that fell from your eye. He then leaned in, placing a kiss on your salty, tear stained cheek, before whispering a “thank you” and leaving.

You finally let the sobs break through you once you hear the door close, and only seconds later your roommate is in your room pulling you into a hug.

“Hey, what happened? What was he doing here?” she asks, her voice soft and filled with worry.

“I broke his heart, Jess,” you cry, struggling to breathe through your sobs, “he’s struggling and I’m not there to help him. He came here asking if he could sleep here for Gods sake,” you choke out, “He hadn’t slept all night, and then five minutes in my arms and he sleeps for four hours,”

“Honey, you didn’t just break his heart when you broke off the relationship, you know that right?” Jess says, letting her fingers slide through your hair in a soothing manner.

“I broke mine, too,” you breathe, finally calming down.

“Yeah, and if you love him so much… why aren’t you with him?” she asks the question you’d answered so many times before.

“You know why, Jess,” you sigh, drying your face with the backs of your hands.

“Yeah, I know that you didn’t have time – that your schedule didn’t work with his – that finding time for him while also finding time for Uni, work, and friends was damn near impossible, I know. But you’re not in Uni anymore. You have your degree, and you have your nine to five job. You can fit him into your schedule. And even if he’s gone for a week or two for road trips, don’t you think it’s better than being miserable without him completely?”

You sigh again, trying to keep your breathing slow and steady as you let your roommate’s words sink in. You pride yourself with being right most of the time, but this time you thought maybe you weren’t. It was hard to admit but, like she said, being without him was harder.

You shove your phone into her hands before getting out of bed and dragging a chair over to your closet, climbing on top of it and reaching into the very back of the top shelf.

“Can you see if you can find me tickets to the game tonight?” you ask her, finally getting hold of the blue hoodie with the number 29 on its chest that he’d let you steal.

“What’s your plan?” Jess asks while searching for tickets on your phone.

“I’m going to put on this hoodie that I’ve neglected for nearly six months, then I’m gonna go to the game and hopefully not cry myself through it, and then I’m going to go find him after,” you explain, releasing a deep breath.

“And then?” she asks, looking up from your phone.

“And then we’ll talk,” you whisper, lifting the hoodie to your face, breathing in the very faint smell of cologne, that you could probably only smell because you knew it was there.

“I found a seat,” she says, breaking you out of your trance.

“Buy it. I don’t care where it is,” you tell her.

Jess hums, confirming that she was already in the process of doing so. You pull the old Toronto Maple Leaf hockey hoodie over your head, shoving your arms into its way too long sleeves and letting it fall down over your torso. Seeing it on you in the mirror sent tears running down your cheeks again.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” Jess reacts quickly as you sit down on the bed, your head falling into your hands while you sob.

“He doesn’t even wear this number anymore,” you weep, leaning into her as she once again slides her arms around you.

“Hey, you’re gonna go to the game, and you’re gonna find him after and then you’re gonna talk and fix everything. And by the time you’re back here you’re gonna have a new hoodie with the number 88 on it, right?” she tries to cheer you up.

“But what if he doesn’t want me back? He might miss me and need me but I broke his heart… I left him,” you cry, overthinking everything in the hopes of not letting yourself get any expectations for the conversation you were hoping to have with your ex-boyfriend in a few hours.

“Babe, he came here to sleep in your arms, he- he wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t want you back; hockey game tonight or not,” Jess tries, but you can’t let yourself believe her.

After having been force fed Chinese take out by Jess and after having washed your tear stained face at least four times, you make your way to the arena, taking the longest route you know just to give yourself more time to think about what you were going to say. The music playing on a low volume through your car speakers not exactly helping with lightening your mood. At some point the playlist shuffles to a song you can faintly remember William humming along to while he helped you make dinner sometime during the first months of your relationship and once again you’re crying.

You dry the tears off your face before leaving the car and making your way into the arena. You fight back the tears once again when you see him on the ice during warm ups, but make it through with glossy eyes. The game is harder to watch though, but you make it through that as well, only letting one tear slip when you see his tired face on the jumbotron.

You manage to get to the locker rooms, happy that the security guards are the same old men that were there the season before. All the wives and girlfriends are there waiting, but you stay as far away as possible in the hopes of going unnoticed. With the schedule that you already had trouble fitting in William, you’d barely met any of them – so you were most likely safe.

Alannah notices you, though, and makes her way over to you. Zach and William spent a lot of time together outside of the rink, and therefore you actually got to know her quite well. When you made it to games, she would make sure that you didn’t feel alone and that you were introduced to new people. But when you and Willy broke up, the contact between you faded away quickly.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” she asks.

Her voice is soft, though, and just the sound of it makes you want to cry. She sees your blood shot eyes and red cheeks and pulls you into a hug when your eyes gloss over with tears once more.

“Are you okay?” she forgets her first question and tries a new one.

You shake your head quickly, drying off a drop before it even leaves your eye.

“He came to my house today because he needed to sleep and he couldn’t without me,” you told her, answering her following questions and telling her your plans of hopefully making it all right again.

Zach isn’t as forgiving as his wife though, stopping in front of you with the same question as Alannah, just with an harsher tone. But he had every right to question you, to be mad at you. You’d broken his best friend’s heart and he was protective.

“She’s trying to make it right, Zach,” Alannah said softly, whispering you a quick ‘good luck’ with a squeeze of your hand before leading her husband away.

William comes out just a second later, freezing in the middle of the hallway when he sees you. Tears are spilling down your cheeks the second your eyes meet, and he walks over to you. Your arms are thrown around his neck as soon as he’s close enough and he pulls you into a tight embrace.  

“Can we talk?” you whisper, finally letting go of him when you feel him nod.

You step away from him and his hands come up to your face, drying your wet cheeks. He then takes your hand in his and leads you out of the arena. You follow him back to his place, and just seeing the building in front of you makes you want to start crying again – but you’re not sure you have any tears left.

You stand in silence in the elevator, neither of you ready to talk just yet. His arm slides around your shoulders a few floors into the elevator ride, and by the time it’s stopping, your body is flush against his and his lips is pressing a kiss into the top of your head. He leads you to his apartment with his hand in yours, even if you remembered exactly which door belonged to him.

Inside you’re lead to the couch where you wait for him while he changes out of his suit. Being back in his apartment brings back so many memories that you’ve tried so hard to forget, just sitting on his couch almost rips at your heart again – the memories of lazy nights with take out on the table and Netflix on the TV, cuddling after breakfast, and kissing him goodbye when he would sit on the couch with some kind of game on in front of him. The memories of your first time together comes flooding next, the images of lazy kisses on the couch turning desperate and being carried into his bedroom.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts when William comes back, a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants having replaced his suit. He sets down a glass of water in front of you before he sits down next to you.

“You wanted to talk?” he says, urging you on.

You nod, fighting the lump in your throat that’s keeping you from actually talking.

“I’ve thought about what I was going to say to you every second since you fell asleep on my chest today, but I still don’t know what else to say other than I’m sorry,” you start, taking a sip of your water.

It’s not a great start, but it’s a start.

“I’m sorry that I left you. It was hard being with you because of our schedules but I think being without you has been a lot worse,” your voice is barely above a whisper but he listens.

“I’ve tried so hard to forget you, forget what I did to you, but it’s not fucking easy when I’m reminded of your existence everywhere I go,” you have somehow been able to keep calm, but you’re not sure if you can keep it up much longer, “Then you showed up today and it was like being smacked in the face with everything all over again – with breaking your heart, my own heart – with how much I still love you,” you tell him, somehow still remotely calm, but silent tears are sliding down your face.

He’s been looking down the whole time, just barely looking up for a second or two, but now he’s looking up – meeting your eyes. The sad look in his eyes has the tears spilling with more force.

“I love you so much,” you sob and he reaches out, pulling you closer and hugging you to him, “I’m so sorry,” you choke out and cling onto him with your arms around his neck.

He holds you until you calm down again, until you stop shaking, the tears stop coming.

“I love you, too,” he whispers, his fingers running through your hair, “And I miss you so much, especially now that I’m having a hard time again - I’m just reminded that you’re not here like you were last year,” he tells you, his voice low and soft as he keeps you close, arms firm around your body.

It surprises you how openly he talks about his feelings; still. It had taken you a long time to break down his walls, to get him to talk to you, but it seems the walls were still crumbled for you.

“I want to be here again,” you breathe, pulling back far enough to look at him. His eyes are filled with worry as he looks at you, and he’s just barely able to keep his eyes focused on yours, “I don’t want to be without you anymore, and I wanna be here for you,” you tell him, your voice a little bit stronger.

You move your hand to cup his cheek, and he looks away with glossy eyes.

“If you’ll have me,” you add, watching as a single tear slides down his cheek.

“I’d take you back no matter what,” he sighs, his head falling to rest against your shoulder. “Because that’s how much I love you,” he adds, and it feels like your heart is breaking for the hundredth time today. “I just need to know that you’re not gonna do that again, please,” he says, his voice so low and vulnerable that it brings tears to your eyes once again. “I love you so fucking much, and it wouldn’t have mattered what you did because I’d take you back anyway – fuck, I’ve already taken you back – but I need to know if I can trust you to not leave me again. I can’t go through that, not again,” his voice is strong, even if there’s a wet stream down each of his cheeks.

You climb onto his lap, straddling his hips and pulling him into a hug – his arms sliding around your waist in an embrace not even seconds later. You pull back slightly, placing your hands on each of his cheeks, your eyes meeting his and you just sit there for a couple of seconds, just gazing into each other’s eyes. You don’t know what he’s looking for, but it looks like he’s searching for something. Truth? Any sign that you don’t mean what you’re saying?

But then his eyes flicks to your lips, and you’re pressing yours to his in a heartbeat. It’s slow and deep, and long. His arms tighten around your waist and you hold him to you with the best of your strength. The next kiss is with more force, harder, but somehow so soft and vulnerable. You lean back and away from the kiss, his lips following you, begging for more.

“Wait,” you stop him, pressing your forehead to his and letting your hands slide back and into his hair.

His eyes clench shut and you pull him back into a hug, letting him rest his head on your shoulder again.

“I’ll stay. I’ll stay for as long as you’ll have me,” you start, feeling his arm tighten around you again, his face pressing into your neck. “The fact that I hurt you hurts just as much as being without you hurts me, and I’ll live with that guilt for a long time. But I’m here to stay, and I’ll love you with everything that I have and everything that I am,” you whisper, your fingers running through his hair.

“But what if it gets hard again?”

“My situation is so different now than it was before. I was finishing university, I had friends that I was terrified to lose because of my family being so far away, and I had to take every shift that I could just so that I would be able to both pay my rent and buy necessities – a relationship just didn’t fit into the equation, especially when there were weeks when you were gone, and when you finally came back I had an exam to study for or essays to write,” you tell him. “But now I’m done with all that. I have a job with steady pay that’ll never make me pick up an extra shift. I have a nine to five job that’ll never keep me longer. Half my friends have moved away, some of them I don’t even talk to anymore. It doesn’t even matter, you’re more important anyway. I have time now. For you- for us,” you make him look at you again.

“I know that you’ll still be gone a week or two, but I can manage. I can’t not have you in my life anymore though. And I’ll do everything in my power to make you trust me again, to make you understand how much I love you,” you finish and his lips are pressed to yours again.

He kisses you desperately, his hands traveling all over in hopes of touching every single piece of you he’d missed after having been without you for six months. You still remember the last time you had sex, the night of all heartbreak and regrets. It was slow and desperate all at the same time, much like your actions now.

Every now and then his hands stop moving, and yet he somehow pulls you even closer, kissing you deeply as he holds you. You let him take it all out on you, his feelings – anger, hurt, love; maybe some combination of the three. It all comes out in desperate kisses and lingering touches.  

“Will you just stay here tonight?” he asks, his voice barely audible, his forehead pressed against yours.

And even if you’ve told him that you would stay forever if he’d let you, even if you’re offering to love him with all your might, he still asks you to stay like you’re leaving in the morning and never coming back.

“Yes, I promise,” you say, as clearly and confidently as you possibly can with the weight of your lost trust on your chest.

You climb out of his lap, planting your feet on the floor again. With his hands in yours you pull him up as well, and the two of you make your way through the apartment like you used to before, without a word being exchanged. You make sure the door is locked, while he takes the empty glasses to the dishwasher. You switch off the lights on your way to his bedroom, and while he stops to move some stuff off his bed you make your way into his en-suite.

The sight in front of you tugs at your heartstrings for what’s probably the tenth time that day, and you’re frozen in your spot in front of the mirror. William’s voice is what snaps you out of your trance, even if his voice is low and soft, shy and almost defensive.

“I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away,” he says, motioning to your old toothbrush that’s still taking up space in the cup with his own, along with the toothpaste.

You can feel his body coming up behind you and you immediately turn around and bury your face in his chest, letting his arms embrace you.

“I’ll get you a new one tomorrow,” he whispers into your hair, like the issue at hand is the fact that your toothbrush is over six months old - not the fact that he still has it after six months.

“Come on, let’s get ready,” he whispers into your hair, placing his hand on your neck, tilting your head up with his thumb placed on your jaw.

He looks stronger – more secure, but still vulnerable when he tilts his head to the side as he studies your face before he leans down and kisses away the stray tear on your cheek. His other hand moves from your waist to your face, pointer finger lightly stroking a few strands of hair behind your ear, then using his hand to guide your lips to his. He kisses you softly, once or twice. And then another kiss placed on your forehead before he places his hands on your shoulders, turning you around and leading you the rest of the way over to the sink. You brush your teeth together, and he hands you a fresh towel after you wash away the tear stains.

You hang the towel and when you turn back to him, he’s watching you. You smile softly when you meet his eyes, and it warms your heart when a smile tugs at his lips as well. He pulls you into him by your hips, placing a kiss on your lips before pulling back again.

“You know, I don’t wear this number anymore,” he smiles, even though there’s a sad truth behind his words.

“I know,” you chuckle, “that was the reason behind one of many breakdowns today,” you tell him, returning his smile.

Your words has him pulling you into a hug, “I’m sorry if me showing up today made everything worse for you,” he mumbled into your hair.

You sigh, hugging him harder, “It was a lot, and it has been a tough day, but I’m happy you did. I’m here now, and I wouldn’t have been if you didn’t,” you tell him, pulling back to look at him.

“It has been a tough six months,” William sighs, and you’re immediately pulling him back into the hug – this time your hands are around his neck.

“Yeah, and I’ll never stop apologizing for it,” you sigh in return.

His lips touch your neck, and you find yourself nuzzling into the crease between his shoulder and his neck, breathing in the smell of him.

“I love you,” he whispers, both the feeling of hearing him say those words and his breath and lips moving against your skin gives you goosebumps.

“I love you, too, baby,” you hum, the pet name just slipping out so naturally. His arms tighten around you and his lips press another kiss to your neck – a lingering one.

He pulls back, his hand coming up to push the hair out of your face while he still holds you close. You can’t read the look on his face, but a small smile tugs his lips upwards before they’re pressed to yours. The kiss is soft at first, but after a deep intake of breath, he comes back stronger – with more force. With one hand curled around you, holding you close with his flat palm on your lower back, his other hand travels up your body until it’s positioned on the back of your neck, fingers tangled in your hair as his kisses advance to the next level.

You’re clinging to his t-shirt, asking yourself if it’s too early to let your hands wander underneath the fabric. While you ponder, your kisses became more demanding and you can feel his tongue on your bottom lip as you’re already opening your mouth, waiting to feel his tongue against yours. The hand on your back moves up, arm sliding around your waist and you’re pulled even closer, to the point where you’re on your toes to accommodate the height difference between you two. You hum against his lips, loving the feeling that having his body so close to yours gives you. Your hands disappear underneath his shirt finally, palms spread flat on his back, his defined muscles moving underneath your fingers as his arms move to touch you all over.

Your hands slip away from him when he bends down and grips the back of your thighs, lifting you up and letting you lock your legs around his waist. You’re carried into the bedroom where you’re placed onto the bed, his body following closely after. His lips find their way back to yours immediately, open mouthed kisses and tongues sliding against each other as his body presses to yours. Before you let your fingers tangle in his hair, you find the hem of t-shirt, pulling it up to the point where he gets up on his knees to pull it over his head and throw it to the floor.

You admire his body in the low lighting, the room just barely illuminated by the still open door into the en-suite, where you’d left the light on. Before his body pushes close to yours again, you let your fingers slide over his torso, to his chest and up his neck, until they end up on each side of his face. You bring him back to you, lips meeting in another open mouthed kiss. His hands find their way underneath the hoodie that once had been his, his big palm moving over your skin as he’s hovering over you. Your eyes meet for a second before he sits back on his knees and uses both his hands to rid you of both the hoodie and the t-shirt you had on underneath. As soon as it’s off, you start the process of taking off your jeans, popping open the bottom and sliding the zipper down. William takes over, slowly pulling them off your legs one leg at the time.

With a strong arm around your waist, he manages to move you underneath the comforter, following closely after as soon as he’s ridded himself of his sweats. This time, when his lips touch yours, it’s not desperate. Your kisses are slow and soft. His hand slides down your side while his lips stay glued to yours, every emotion poured into the way he touches you and the way he kisses you. Curling your leg over his hip, you pull him closer to you – the motion has his hardened member pressing into your thigh, making you moan softly into the kiss.

While you arch into him, searching for more, his hand slides to your back, finding the clasp of your bra. You help him get the straps of your arms, and he lets your bra fall to the floor with the rest of your clothes. Rolling to the side, he slides his thigh further up between yours, making you moan against his kiss. Missing the sounds he would make in the dark on nights just like this one, you let your hand slide down his torso, moving over his abs and all the way down to his hardened member – covering the bulge with your hand, giving him a little sense of pleasure.

The sound escaping his lips, vibrating against yours, sends another wave of warmth and need through your body. Your hands on him and his bare body pressed against yours must have the same effect on him as it has on you, making him press his body even closer to yours as he deepens the kiss and his hold on you tightens. His palm covers one of your boobs, your nipple soon pinched between his thumb and pointer finger. The action has you gasping, making it possible for William to slip his tongue into your mouth again.

He’s rolling over you and kissing down your neck as his hands wander further down your body. One of his hands slip down your back and into the back of your underwear, pushing you against him while he simultaneously roll into you, making his need for you more known. One of his long fingers slip between your legs, feeling the wetness between your thighs. This has another soft moan slip from your lips, and you can feel the result of your effect on his body.

Desperation takes over and your panties are being pulled down your thighs. As soon as they’re off, he’s moving to lay between your legs, rolling his hips into yours while his lips are back on yours in a deep and open mouthed kiss that has you clenching your legs around him in the hopes of some release.

No words are being said, but he knows exactly what you need. One hand slips between your bodies, two fingers slipping inside you as he pulls his lips from yours only to continue leaving kisses down your neck and chest. He spends time on both your nipples before continuing his trail of kisses down your torso while his two fingers are sliding in and out of your soaking hole. Your fingers clench in the hair on top of his head immediately – naturally – as he finally reaches the place that needs him most right now.

His tongue slides up your slit, finding your clit expertly, as if you hadn’t been apart for six months. His lips closes around your sensitive nub and with the help of his thick fingers, your thighs are closing around his head and you’re already balancing on the edge of your climax. He knows the signs still, having memorized the unique sounds of your different moans and the way your insides clench around him, and how your body tenses before you’re about to hit your high a long time ago. He knows what the desperate but soft moan that slips from your throat means, especially when it’s combined with your fist tensing in his hair – he knows that if he pushes the tips of his fingers against your g-spot and sucks on your clit, you’ll come.

So he does, and he pushes himself up from being mostly hid underneath the blanket just in time to watch you while you’re still in it. And with his fingers still inside you, he makes it last longer, makes another couple of breathy moans fill his ears. You open your eyes and they immediately find his, and within a second his lips are on yours in an open mouthed kiss, letting you taste yourself. He leaves a trail of wet kisses down to your ear, and he listens to you gasp as he lets his fingers slide out of you.

“I could listen to you cumming all night long,” he mumbles, the first words shared between you since before you left the bathroom. His words making another breathy moan slip out of you. He kisses your jaw before he pulls back a few inches, leaning on one arm as he places a hand on the side of your cheek, brushing a few strands of hair behind your ear. “Most beautiful sound I know,” he breathes, a small smile on his lips as he watches your cheeks heat up.

You shake your head lightly with a smile tugging at the ends of your lips, sliding your arms around his neck and pulling him back down and into a deep kiss. A couple of minutes with your lips on his and you’re tugging at his boxers, pushing them as far down as you possibly could from your position under his much bigger body.

While he works on kicking off the last article of clothing keeping you apart, you curl fingers around his shaft, watching his reaction as his movements halt and he clenches his eyes shut for a second. Once he manages to get rid of his boxers, he surges forward – attaching his lips to yours. Simultaneously you spread your legs wider for him, and he takes over – replacing your hand with his. He teases your entrance with letting the head of his hardened member slide through your folds. You gasp, your mouth on his, and he slides into you fully – his hand coming to cup the side of your face again.

When you’re both accustomed to the feeling, his lips press to yours, the hand on your cheek holding you to him as he pours everything into the kiss. Once he’s ready, his fingers move down the side of your body, reaching behind your thigh and hiking it up over his hip. He starts moving, pulling out almost all the way before he pushes back in. He finds a steady rhythm, kissing you deeply while you keep your hands in his hair.

Everything contributes to the feeling of being completely full – being complete; His lips on yours, his beard softly scratching against your face, his calloused hands on your body, his grip on your thigh, his breath against you, his chest against yours. And on top of that, being with him again. Being his and him being yours. Just knowing that he still loves you like you love him.

He sits back on his knees, bringing you with him and making sure he’s still deep inside you. He grabs your leg, and you think he might put it over his shoulder, like he used do when he wanted to go a little rougher, but instead he moved it to the other side where it could join your other leg. He swallows a groan as the new position has you clenching around him, but then he slides down behind you – his arm sliding under your head as he spoons you.

He pulls the covers back over the two of you, before he’s back to gripping your thigh – this time to help you hold your leg up as he starts moving again. He buries his face into your hair and neck, lightly biting at your skin as he muffles his moans and groans. Everything about the new position feels amazing. It feels close, and so good. And it feels like love. His arms around you, the way his arms are curled under your head and over your chest, holding you so close to him �� it feels like being safe. Like you’re safe for the first time in half a year. And you wonder if it feels like that for him as well, or if it feels like exact opposite.

You unclench your fist, letting go of the sheet you’ve been holding onto for dear life. Instead you reach up and curl your fingers around his hand, hoping that he’ll feel as safe as you do. He kisses your shoulder, again and again, and every time you’re filled to the brim with how much you love him. And how much you’ve missed him.

“I love you,” you breathe softly, your voice so low and airy that you’re not sure if he heard you.

But he does. He let’s go of your thigh bringing his hand up to help tilt your head towards his, pressing his lips to yours as soon as he gets the chance – stopping his movements for a couple of seconds just to kiss you; to say it back; “I love you, too, so much,” he said between two kisses.

When he pulls back from the kiss, he pushes into you with more force. He rolls over you, to the point where you’re almost on your stomach. His hand slips down your torso, and all the way until he can put two fingers on your clit, in the hope to help you closer to your climax.

“I’m so close, baby,” he almost whines, his words vibrating as he’s speaking into the skin of your shoulder.

With his fingers working on your clit, a moan is the only answer you’re able to get out. Soon, he’s burying his face into your neck and hair again, clenching his teeth as he uses the last of his energy to send you over the edge with the use of his fingers combined with his thrusts.

As soon as he feels the familiar feeling of your insides clenching and unclenching, over and over again, around him, he lets go. His body feels heavy as he’s almost on top of you. His arms give out under him, and even if he’s heavy against you, you love it. You love that he’s there, that you can feel him. You love the way his heavy breath feels against your neck, the way his chest moves against your back with every breath he takes. And you love how he kisses your shoulder when he’s gathered enough strength and willpower to push himself off you.

But as soon as you turn around, he’s putting more of his weight back on you – much like he’d done earlier that day when he came to your apartment. Nuzzling his face into your neck, pressing his lips to the junction between your neck and your shoulder. You slide your arms around him in an embrace, pressing your lips to his forehead – like you wanted to this afternoon, but felt like you couldn’t. Or felt like it wasn’t your place.

You stay like that, your arms around him, fingers tracing soothing circles on his shoulder blade, until you have to get up and use the bathroom. You can feel his cum sliding out of you and onto your thighs, and you would rather not have it on the bed.

“Mm, get up,” you murmur, pushing at his shoulder.

“What? Why?” his head shoots up, looking up at you with wide eyes.

“I have to use the bathroom, Will,” you tell him in confusion, not sure why he’d reacted that way.

“Oh, yeah,” he nods, leaning on his arm to let you slide out from under him.

It’s first when you’re sitting on the toilet of his en-suite that you realize why he reacted that way. And you bite your lip as you try to swallow the ball that’s growing in your throat and making it hard to breathe. You can’t handle more tears for today, and you’re not sure you’ve got any left.

“Hey, you okay?” his almost naked form shows up in the doorway, meeting your eye in the mirror.

He’s put on a fresh pair of boxers, and he’s leaving a pile of both your clothes and his in his laundry basket, except for your jeans and your bra, which he hangs over the edge of the bathtub. You turn towards him, nodding bravely, just hoping that he’ll take it. You step closer to him, reaching up to slide your arms around his neck and pulling him into a hug, in which he pulls you into, tightly, with his arms around your waist.

“I’m gonna stay, I promise,” you whisper, pressing a kiss to his jaw before you pull back, landing back down on your feet after having stood on the tip of your toes.

You leave him in the bathroom, planning on crawling back into bed. William follows you out after turning off the light and closing the door behind him.

“Do you want something to sleep in?” he asks, stopping by the door that leads into his closet.

“Yes, please,” you smile, and the side of his lip tugs up into what you assumed he meant to be a smile. It’s forced, and his reaction earlier is still burned into your mind, sending your thoughts into a spiral.

He comes out with a pair of boxers and a big t-shirt. You pull on the boxers, and even if you have the weight of your betrayal nagging in the back of your head, you can’t help but smile to yourself at the familiarity of the fabric and the memories that comes to mind – of the first time you stayed the night and you’d spent the entire next day in a pair of his boxers and a hoodie, because neither of you wanted you to have to leave his apartment. Next, he’s helping you put on the t-shirt, pulling it over your head and letting you shove your arms into the wide sleeves.

This time, when the side of his lip is tugged up to the side, it doesn’t look forced, and he leans down to press a kiss to your cheek, before pushing you towards the bed. You climb into the middle, laying down on your back and spreading out, inviting him to press his cheek to your chest. He smiles again, fully, climbing in after you – letting his strong arms slide around your waist but stopping to hover above you. His pointer finger runs over your cheek, brushing your hair behind your ear and letting his hand stay put on the side of your face while he kisses you sweetly.

“I love you,” he says, leaning in for another kiss before you can say the words back to him. This kiss lingers, leaving you with tingling lips as he lays down, placing his head on your chest.

“I love you, too, Will,” you hum, pressing your lips to his forehead and moving your arms around him, one hand resting on his back and the other on his bicep. “So much,” you add, deciding to take every chance you could to let him know how much you really did love him. He hums back, nuzzling into your neck and then he’s asleep.

~

“I really did a number on you, didn’t I?” you mumble, his head rested on your chest as you lay back on the many pillows of his bed, your arm over his shoulder, your palm rested flat over his abs.

It’s morning again and even if he fell asleep the second he closed his eyes, you barely got an hour of sleep, your mind racing all night. His silence confirms your statement.

“You wake up every time I move, turning around or lifting your head up, looking straight at me. I could be all tangled up with you and you still didn’t wake up when I got up to pee in the middle of the night or get up to go to school. It’s like you’re just unconsciously waiting for me to leave you again,” you speak, thinking about how the man who could sleep through a hurricane woke up every time you moved more than an inch.

“I’m not doing it on purpose. I can’t help it,” he whispers after a while.

“I know,” you breathe, kissing the top of his head. He takes your hand in his, bringing it up to his lips.

“It’s just that no one has ever hurt me like you did,” he starts, and you have to clench your teeth together to stop yourself from breaking out into sobs immediately. “But then again I have never loved anyone like I love you,” he says, squeezing your hand.

After a minute of silence he turns around, finding you with glossed over eyes, and the second your eyes meet his you can’t hold back any of the tears or the sobs for another second. You’re pulled into his arms, and he lets you cry it all out.

“I wish I could take it all back,” you sob, ”I’ll do everything in my power to make you trust me again,” you add, a little bit calmer.

“I know, baby, I know you will,” he coos, threading his fingers through your hair, kissing your tear stained cheek.

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[skgway]

1823 July, Tues. 15

8 3/4

11 3/4

Letter from Isabella Dalton (Croft-Rectory near Darlington) – 3 pages the ends and under the seal – A very nice letter –

“You made a strong appeal to my feelings, when you said ‘the children may learn in time to love your mother’s friend’, an appeal which while I continue to live, will I trust never be made without taking effect – Friend of such a mother will forever have a strong claim on her family and on none more acknowledgely then their affectionate I….. [Isabella] D…. [Dalton]”

I[sabella] N[orcliffe] to leave Croft tomorrow and take Marianne D– [Dalton] with her to Langton –

At 10 1/2 set off in the gig to H–x [Halifax] to exercise the mare – In passing left a plant of agrimony at Wellhead, having recommended Mrs. W– [Waterhouse] to put a leaf of it into the tea-pot instead of green tea – Mrs. W– [Waterhouse] came out to me – I promised to go there to tea on Friday if the day should be fine –

Then drove to Savile to leave Miss P– [Pickford] the gown she lent my aunt yesterday – Met Miss P– [Pickford] (by appointment) coming from the baths, and drove her home to Mrs. Wilcock’s – She was to have gave come back with me here, but the rain prevented her – She will call perhaps on Thursday –

Got home about 1 – Found Miss Grisdale (from Lightcliffe) here – She staid some time – Talking of Allanby, a small sea-bathing place near Carlisle – You may, live at the Inn there for 4 /. [shillings] a day a public table sometimes 20 people – Have a nice lodgings – Couple of bed-rooms, servant’s ditto (one) and a small sitting room, for 1 1/2 guineas a week – Lodgings for a family, stables etc. perhaps 3 guineas a week – A post every day –

Nice little town – A coach every day to and from Whitehaven, if xxxxx not also to and from Carlisle – Very good sands on which you can walk or drive several miles – You may live cheaper in a lodgings then at the Inn – Only few bed-rooms at the Inn – To these you succeed by seniority, and till you can have one (for which when got you pay nothing) you pay a shilling a night for a bed they set you out of the house – Breakfast when you like, dinner at 3, tea at 6, supper at 9 – Very good table –

Walked with Miss G– [Grisdale] to nearly opposite the house – Mrs. W[illiam] P[riestley] was much tired last night – She not always “trashed herself about” I thought it was not that, but anxiety that made her ill – “she was of an anxious disposition – always anxious about something – xxx Her sisters knew it very well, and said so – To make her not anxious was the thing Dr. Paley could not do for her” 

I did not wonder at her anxiety about Mr. E[dward] P– [Priestley] Miss G– [Grisdale] said she “did not like to say much about it; it was exactly her (Mrs. P– [Priestley]) own sister’s case” – Mrs. Fergus Graham was in exactly the same way – It began with a brain-fever – She had been very well ever since – No likelihood of a relapse – Very different deposition from Mrs. P– [Priestley]. Never fidgetted herself about anything – 8 children brought them up remarkably well – Educated them with no assistance from Mr. G– [Graham] and very few servants for such a family – The living, a family living, of fifteen-hundred a year – A provision for 2nd sons – Meant for the 2nd son of the present baronett (Sir James) who is brother to Mr. Fergus G– [Graham] who must therefore be succeeded by his nephew – Miss G[risdale] had had one glass of wine and I easily persuaded her to take another –

Went into the stable for about 1/2 hour, and came in at 2 1/4 – Then wrote the journal so far of today – And wrote the rough draft of the index to this volume from 18 to 22 June – 

For 3/4 hour before 6, and musing on Horsley’s sermon on Hades, volume 2. I mentioned it to Miss P– [Pickford] the other day (yesterday) she thought the preaching of our saviour to the spirits in prison (vide 1 Peter iii 18, 19) was before the crucifixion!!! 

She meant to have called to say – But gave me the following written 

“we are 1st clothed in flesh, there spiritual, – but Xst [Christ] from the spiritual world was clothed in flesh for a time – The world was made by him – John i. 10. – Micah verse 2 was it not in the time of these ‘goings forth’ that he preached to the Antediluvians– When his spirit strove with them for a time genesis vi. 3? Your heartily obliged F[rances] P[ickford]

Samouelle's Entomology I think is the latest system, could not recollect the man’s name yesterday” –

I know not what the 2 first lines have to do with the question whether Xst [Christ] preached to the spirits in prison before or after his crucifixion – and the “time of the goings forth” seems very far-fetched – To me as well as to bishop Horsley et aliis, it appears plain enough that the preaching was better our saviour’s crucifixion and resurrection xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx from the dead –

It rained a little all the way as I returned from H–x [Halifax] – A rainy afternoon but cleared towards 5 or 6, and was a fine evening – Walked on the terrace from 8 to 9 – Barometer 4 1/4 degrees below changeable Fahrenheit 56º at 9 1/4 p.m. –

Wrote the last 13 lines during supper – Went down at 10 5/60 came up again at 10 55/60 –

Nine sermons on our Lord's resurrection, and A dissertation on the prophecies of the Messiah dispersed among the heathen by Samuel Horsley [x]

A Nomenclature of British Entomology: Or a Catalogue of Above 4,000 Species of the Classes Crustacea, Myriapodo, Spiders, Mites and Insects, Alphabetically Arranged and Intended as Labels for Cabinets of British Insects, &c from The Entomologist's Useful Compendium by G. Samouelle [x]

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[manleycollins]

Journal Entry #27 - Party Ain’t A Party...Leaving the Past Behind...Getting it All Out

JOURNAL ENTRY #27 Name: Manley M Collins Social Security Number: 5 7 9 - * * - 6 5 4 1 Date of Birth: 06/21 Place of Birth: Washington, District of Columbia Country of Birth: United States of America Date: June 21, 2019 TOPIC: Party Ain't A Party....Leaving the Past Behind....Getting it All Out DEPARTMENT: United States Department of Justice DEPARTMENT: United States Department of Education DEPARTMENT: United States Department of Health DEPARTMENT: United States Department of Transportation DEPARTMENT: United States Department of Labor

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As I work on my dissertation updates and law school score.  I am using Khan Academy, Blueprint, and Griffon Prep.  Goal is to aim for 500 points on the LSAT.  Since my first round of schools are denying admission, I am already updating my Credential Assembly Service package and created a brand new list of schools.  I look forward to those applications.  I am expecting to take the LSAT and GRE during the end-of-summer and Fall seasons when I send my second round of applications. If no admissions after second round of applications for August 2020 class, then I am heading to South Carolina around April 2020 to do the position and people, and get it out of the way.

United States LSAC Member Law Schools (First Round) Albany Law School - Applied - Transmitted Sent - Decision is Denied Admission American University Washington College of Law University of California, Berkeley, School of Law - Applied - Transmitted Sent - Decision is Denied Admission Boston College Law School California Western School of Law University of California, Irvine School of Law Columbia University School of Law - Applied - Transmitted Sent University of Connecticut School of Law University of California, Davis School of Law (King Hall) The George Washington University Law School - Applied - Transmitted Sent - Decision is Denied Admission Georgetown University Law Center - Applied - Transmitted Sent - Decision is Denied Admission Harvard Law School - Applied - Transmitted Sent - Decision is Denied Admission University of California Hastings College of the Law Loyola Law School, Loyola Marymount University New England Law, Boston University of New Hampshire School of Law New York University School of Law - Applied - Transmitted Sent - Decision is Denied Admission Pepperdine University School of Law University of San Francisco School of Law Santa Clara University School of Law Seattle University School of Law University of South Carolina School of Law - Applied - Transmitted Sent - Decision is Denied Admission University of Southern California, Gould School of Law - Applied - Transmitted Sent - Denied Admission Southwestern Law School Stanford University Law School - Applied - Transmitted Sent - Decision is Denied Admission Thomas Jefferson School of Law Vermont Law School Western State College of Law at Argosy University Western New England University School of Law Whittier Law School Yale Law School - Applied - Transmitted Sent - Decision is Denied Admission

I did purchase a Yamaha XMAX. It rode very well.  I did have two separate accidents in the Yamaha XMAX.  I thought I was being safe with bike, but unfortunately life did not like me having it.  On December 5, 2018, while I was doing deliveries. The 2018 Yamaha XMAX broke down and could not crank.  I had to push the vehicle from North Capitol St NE and Michigan Ave NE to downtown.  I was severely anger because it was a new bike and some of my recent trips was to Fredericksburg, VA and Baltimore, MD.  I did not know one ounce of help for scooter/motorbike that could have broken down somewhere I was unfamiliar to get help.  It sent all kinds of emotions through me.  So I threw my anger in emails and phone calls to dealer and Yamaha, I authorized the work.  The Yamaha breakdown cut into my XMAS money I could have made from my part-time gig.  Yamaha was expecting payments for the periods of non-use and I told them I was not riding, and I am not paying.  Now, February 1, 2018, Yamaha dealer decides to call back and say bike is fixed.  Guess what I did out of anger?  I got a new bike, Suzuki Burgman 650 Executive, with all the bells and whistles.  I transferred the tags, paid the tax, and now I am riding.  It has been six to seven months riding my motorbike and cycling bike and parking them everywhere.  Guess what?  Now, the cops/MPD and US Capitol Police saw me parking the motorbike on the bike rack.  On Monday, January 28, 2019, I left my motorbike parked on US Capitols ground on a public sidewalk on a bike rack near one of the capitol ground parks for one day because of inclement weather.  I come back the next day, the entire motorbike was gone and someone broke through the Kryptonite lock with security level 10, and all other security features on the motorbike.  US Capitol Police saw me every day and night when I parked in the same spot and did not say anything.  After I made two calls to 911, US Capitol Police showed and told me all the rules regarding the motor scooter.  I paid $210 for towing and they issued me a ticket in the same day for $100.  The ticket infraction information was dated Tuesday, January 29, 2019 at 7:50 PM, location Unit block C St NE and 300 Delaware Ave NE, Code P047, Parked on sidewalk, Signature Officer Dworak, Dept USCP, Element USB/OSB, Badge No 7001.  I am back riding again, but this time I am using all the areas of residential parking in my Zone.  I was completely corrected to use my residential parking permit in Washington, DC and take up a full parking space. My Suzuki Burgman 650 Executive is financed by GE Capital. I do apologize GE Capital for cancelling a credit card earlier in my life when I still did not understand how to use the credit card.  I am glad General Electric came back to be apart of my life. It feels good.

I am becoming better at doing repossessions. My 1999 Jeep Grand Cherokee from Carmax was repossessed.  My 2007 Mercedes Benz from EuroMotors was repossessed, but they are getting lawsuit/civil suits for that car experience.  My 2018 Yamaha XMAX from Coleman PowerSports was repossessed and if I incur a balance from that motorbike, then civil suits are prepared and ready.  Just as expected Yamaha made a balance from a defective product.

POSITION #47  - Amazon This was a good position.  I am surprised that Amazon was so inflexible as a 24/7 operation that the organization did not want to switch/change my schedule when offered and I asked.  I learned so much and they pass over plenty people for supervisory positions and ambassadors.  Once the managers and supervisors warn you that you will be terminated due to no more Unpaid Personal Time (UPT) and when coaching kids or providing community service in the same time slot, Amazon will put you in a position not even get unemployment after the years of service.  They did offer for me to come back after 365 days.  I tried to leave with references with the people I thought cared and were friends, but it was a setup.  Since I am not from Virginia, I will not be returning to any Amazon warehouses or fulfillment centers in Virginia or Maryland.  I will take this employer with me to South Carolina.

POSITION #48  - AmeriCorps / Up2Us Sports / TeensRunDC / District of Columbia Public Schools Meredith Lonberger seems like a great person to work with.  I wish Jen Edmonds stayed onboard and things could have been different.  Jen left as a new AmeriCorps service year started.  This experience start out awkward.  I never worked with middle schoolers or in a school environment for a very long time.  District of Columbia Public Schools have a culmunation of a variety of professionals to put the school together.  Students, such as Louis Coney, kept talking and running the 7th grade lunch clubs and interrupt his game with Antoine Lewis regarding bayblades or music sessions with David Adejiji, Louis assaulted me for interruption or stopping them from doing what they were doing.  Jarmal Pannell definitely had a problem with keeping his hands to himself. Jarmal knew his size and kept pushing his friend, Shaun Suber, around.  Jarmal Pannell kept placing his anger out on me by bending my fingers, testing his testosterone, and pushing me and the table at the same time.  Jovan Miles, he was a smart, 8th grade kid and TeensRunDC alum, he came in the first season and started participating, but he started making serious interruptions with watching inappropriate flicks or facetiming girls, throwing food at walls, and assaulted and bullied me around for snitching.  The instructors and security saw what were happening.  They did not do a darn thing.  SaQuan choked Joseph Stanback, a TRDC student, Ms. Latisha Cooper (an adult) assaults SaQuan.  Alexandra Wade, so called Alee, try to keep up this energy and power of psychology.  Positives she was good at attempting to run the organization and attempt to do cohesion, but very bad at decision making as a new program manager of a non-profit.  Lizzie or Elizabeth was good at trying to do the books of the organization, but she will miss some reimbursements as it is see some and do not see some.  Michelle Morris, the Asian girl, tried to fit as much as possible, but purely depressed about not getting in at DCPS as a teacher/substitute teacher.  LeRoy Reed, he was a small and smart young boy.  His friend was Thomas Miller.  Thomas Miller kept complaining and putting down himself with weight problems calling himself fat.  Thomas Miller had a pure attachment to YuGiYoh and his cellphone.  Thomas Miller had several cellphones. I met Thomas Miller's mother and made me wonder who the daddy is because he came out pure red or light skin with black curly hair.  LeRoy Reed was little and bullying people around so people would not mess with him.  I met LeRoy Reed's grandmother alot and she kept thinking I was a DCPS administrator or instructor that could make a difference on his, his teachers', or administrative errors on his records. Thomas Miller disliked Alexandra Wade alot when she dismissed him from an after school practice for keeping and looking at cellphone.  Thomas Miller called her a female dog and all kinds of names.  Thomas Miller dislike Michelle Morris because she dismissed him from an after school practice, but he did not know what names to call her. LeRoy Reed and Thomas Miller were partially coming during Spring season after they caught on to the pattern.  Treazure Stewart was a unique female coming in with all kinds of hairstyles. Treazure Stewart talked about herself alot and able to fully provide her point of view on the lunch club subjects.  Treazure Stewart did come to school with a broken, sprained, or fractured leg.  I did not question what happened.  Joshua Davis started coming to lunch club, but he was being raised vegetarian and lie really well or make an excuse for everything that he does not like.  Alissa Rhodes, Nyasia Coleman, and Jamaya White came to lunch club religiously in the beginning and talking about all the different subjects, then the school started its sports program.  Alissa Rhodes came to one after school practice and complained it was too hot. I let her rest the remainder of practice.  Nyasia Coleman went to basketball program.  Jamaya White sided with her friends and not come at all.  Saviona Richardson, this girl is going to get alot of boys in trouble, and stepped up to all the boys challenging them to anything they say about girls.  Saviona Richardson came to a couple after school practices, then keep saying she cannot come because she is moving.  This was a repeated sentence from beginning of school year to close to end of school year.  I did meet the daddy of Saviona Richardson and her sister.  I got a lyft (TRDC paid) for the family so they could attend TRDC xmas holiday party.  Saviona Richardson did attend almost all the lunch clubs.  Evonye Simmons was convinced sometimes by the boys to attend lunch club....she looks and acts more tomboy-ish.  Evonye Simmons does talk on the subjects and participate in some of the lunch club activities.  Sevyn Robinson only came to lunch club when food is around or when the TRDC is treated by EBFSC.  Jayden Parker is a very intelligent and brilliant star.  Jayden Parker has girlpower to become famous.  I do not know what she plans to become, but it will be big.  Jayden Parker cares very much about the environment and helping others. The way she is coming out to be a selfless person is going to do wonders.  I did meet her mother and she was very kind. Jayden Parker did come to one after school practice. She did not come to anymore practices because she stated she had to get little brother from Maury Elementary.  Navar Rogers had a personal attention complex.  As TRDC coach, Navar Rogers wanted personal attention. He would put down himself to have me as a coach figure out how to uplift him.  Navar Rogers did run in the United States Arboretum Oaktoberfest 5K and did a personal record.  Thomas Miller also walked in the United States Arboretum Oaktoberfest 5K and the only thing that motivated him was to make sure he finished before someone's dog did.  When I started bringing snacks, he expected me to keep rewarding him for every good grade or good act.  I did meet Navar Rogers's guardian.  Allen Jones was a smart dude, but I already see him as a blockhead athlete and jock celebrity (meaning he does sports very well and hates the classroom).  I met Allen Jones's sister during an after school practice.  Morgan Paul was a tomboy, super smart, and intelligent.  Her English was very good and her sense on life was good.  I did meet Morgan Paul's dad.  The parents or guardian are doing a great job helping her understand the different facets of people.  She was coming to after school practices and lunch clubs, but she also was in higher achievement (another after school program) so I think her dad cracked down on what she doing after she was literally not going home after school everyday.  Jakale Lipson was the most unique student I ever met.  Jakale Lipson kept acting like she was a mute student when everyone in the school knew she could talk.  Jakale Lipson participated in lunch club written activities.  Jakale Lipson was helping the main office sometimes during lunch. With Jakale Lipson acting as a mute student in public school questions activities at home or is it truly an act to not get bothered by anyone.  John Moore is going to be a bright student and active athlete.  I can see John Moore as team captain of a sport.  Do not get John Moore talking because gives a point of view on every subject from every angle.  John Moore is very attentive, appreciates praise, and does not mind doing the work.  Ben Boomer, a TRDC alum, came once to lunch club along with his from Orlando Edwards, another TRDC alum, and stated they were in lunch club because of nothing to do.  Ben Boomer stated he was the chill and mellow guy, "nothing about nothing" type of guy.  DeMarko French kept coming to lunch club with a very loud mouth so everyone can hear him or speak over the other person. DeMarko French kept trying insult the female coaches by asking the personal questions or trying to do match maker with the female coaches.  DeMarko French kept promoting sexual activity talking about girls as female dogs and getting their private parts.  DeMarko French even felt comfortable enough to start asking me personal questions about family, having children, wanting children, how to make a baby, etc.  DeMarko French was dismissed from lunch club because TRDC moved to a new room where higher achievement or teachers stored stuff.  DeMarko French took items from boxes and threw them into the cafeteria kitchen when no one was paying attention or looking.  The cafeteria ladies had to tell me what was going on.  Malik Johnson is an internal processor of information.  Malik Johnson took a minute to process thought before he could speak an answer.  If it was not an answer or topic he did not like, Malik Johnson will get up and leave.  Malik Johnson earn a TRDC shirt and he gave the shirt away.  Christopher Fisher came TRDC because of Jovan Miles.  Christopher Fisher is one of those "I do not know what I want to be kids".  Christopher Fisher did not participate in afterschool. Christopher Fisher, Nassir Walker, Elijah Harvey and Jovan Miles kept disrupting the after school program by bullying the younger kids.  Security had the cameras and janitors saw what was happening.  All I could say, "It was inappropriate and not right."  Antoine Lewis presents himself like the victim and yes, he is bullied by other kids, but he is the first to assault a girl.  I never saw him fight or step up to any of the guys.  Antonio Sinclair is a quiet guy and attentive, who do not mind putting the work a different way. For example, at after school practice, I have all attendees do laps around Eastern Sr High School track, but Antonio Sinclair prefer to do sprints or runs up and down the football field.  Elijah Harvey was a very talented artist in the school and he listens to commands when he want to.  Jakhai Pone came to lunch club and participated, then he did not return.  Nassir Walker kept being picked on because everyone claimed he and I looked alike or I could have been his daddy.  Rashaun Bazemore, a TRDC alum, participated in lunch club.  Rashaun Bazemore and his twin brother RaQuan Bazemore wore those TRDC sweatshirts religiously to school. I met Melissa Diggins, who supposed to be after school programs coordinator, and she did absolutely nothing to support me or TRDC.  Ms. Sherry Epps was a funny lady and always talked about my lunch choices.  She, I guess, wanted me to be fat.  Ms. Kimberly George was giving me good tips on how be a better instructor or classroom management techniques that worked for her.  Mr. Christopher Grenier was the track coach and had good attendance when I saw them practice in the same places TRDC practice.  Ms. Patricia Harris was the track coach too and had pleasant personality so it seemed.  Ms. Tara Harris was an interesting social worker who had interest in the kids, but took special interest in Jayden Parker whenever she attended TRDC lunch club. Ms. Tara Harris is the one I sent the bullying email incidents to.  Mr. Joscelin Lockhart, do not know his sexuality, but if girls could talk...LOL...he was the queen bee next to Ms. Latisha Cooper.  Mr. Travis Loggins-Santiago, I kept watching how he was doing crazy and keep me guessing what island he came from.  Mr. Bennisha Lucas is a very intelligent and always fashionable on-point lady.  Mrs. Marlene Magrino, I kept speaking to her like a teacher, I did not say anything uncanny, and did not know she was the principal until February 2019.  Mrs. Ophelia Morgan was the one I thought was the principal because everyone kept sending me to her.  Now, I see why TRDC flyers never got out for the annual fun run or after school practice.  Mrs. Pamela Prescott is kind person and does most of what anyone ask of her.  She deserves a big retirement party whenever that comes.  Mr. Christopher Vann was a cool guy and level headed.  Mr. Christopher Vann did let me know when one of my TRDC students got out of line.  Brian, a new coach, seems like he was timid, introvert, and shy.  Taylor, a Howard Univ. cheerleader, came with full made up face and hair every TRDC event, meeting, or volunteering. Taylor had a car and did not want to use it for the kids.  Sasha, another Up2Us coach, did what she wanted to, had outside employment, had a boyfriend, and kept all her job.  Zachary Thal, a Jewish and Avodah coach, was trying to suck up everyone's hours and work to meet his organization's full time agreement.  Stephanie, a Jewish and Avodah coach, was at TRDC for a month before her cancer returned and she went back home.  Yassah, a Yoga instructor, was off the chain with her life experiences, bartending experiences, and when TRDC started messing up her outside employment income, she straight up quit.  Romeo, a California boy and Howard Univ student, was at TRDC and shared his experiences with the kids, but I always wondered how he paid rent, rarely came to any TRDC event, he was a member of DC Front Runners, and I do not know his sexuality.  After I got terminated, I sent the termination back all the way down the kids and told them I already had two restraining orders filed. I am always seeking how and where to file the third restraining order.  This same information is being formulated to be thrown in the court(s) of law for wrongful termination about all organizations, and not receiving the AmeriCorps education award from Up2Us Sports Inc (New York, NY).  I could not get DC unemployment because not enough time passed and income earned.

POSITION #49  - United Parcel Service I gave this a second chance. This work environment was definitely different from the 1998.  Jarvis Raynor, HR, gave a realistic presentation of the new UPS in 2019. As a preloader, package handlers had to handle three (3) trucks and range 200 packages to 700 packages per truck.  You have thirty days to qualify as preloader. UPS literally was going through people like water and it was a never ending cycle.  My overall manager, William Thompson Jr, known as "JR", was annoying as hell as he kept reiterating stats and procedures to follow. It was impossible to load 75lbs to 130lbs package with 2 or 3 steps inside a truck.  It was insane.  I was calm, cool, and collective.  Julia Barbarczuk, Trainer/Supervisor, was informative and kept following up with plenty of paperwork while on the job.  Angie and Emma, the belt supervisors, were cool and very helpful when the load was light or heavy.  Angela was the Army sergeant in her commands.  Emma was the repeater and coach.  This job was located in Springfield - Newington, VA area.  Cooper was another manager like JR and did crazy by sending me to various workpiles to try and solve them including a truck with payload of 750 packages using a stair to step up in the truck.  The HR manager Jarvis D. Raynor talked to all my references and tried to throw the same game back at me.  I did become eligible for unemployment because of a different rule and did not violate any company policy. However, if there is an ineligible status on the same claim, then you can keep filing, but have to appeal the ineligible status in order to get paid.  My unemployment compensation with Virginia is still pending.

POSITION #50  - Federal Express I applied for the Handler position. It was good to go to familiar ground of Dulles Airport.  I met most of everyone and did the paperwork.  They are very integrated with the United States Postal Service.  United States Postal Service does have a clearance process.  I did go through the Washington Dulles Airport training to pick up my identification badge.  Unfortunately, I did not go to Federal Express because of the travel distance of 35-40 miles one way for a part time and crazy hours. I will take Federal Express as a possible employer in South Carolina.

POSITION #51  - Abercrombie and Fitch I reapplied for this position.  Met two managers Mecca and Luen and made the interview.  It was a great location in the Georgetown community, but I was not hired.

POSITION #52  - PeaPod / Giant Delivery LLC I applied for a delivery driver position.  I had this position along with the AmeriCorps and UPS jobs.  It was another blue collar job.  My hands and fingers were going through slams, pinches, and smashes.  I went to Hanover, MD to have my initial interview.  I got on the PM schedule.  It was fun earning cash tips and meeting the customers.  The challenge was the routes or navigating the truck in Washington, DC streets.  In 90 probationary period, you cannot miss any item delivered to customer and cannot have any accidents.  I did have two minor accidents and they came fast.  The first one was not my fault with a latino lady was driving someone else's car and backed directly into the truck.  The second one was I parked too close to a parked car on one way street and the rear  bumper outside lip caught the front end of the car. I did train with the #1 and #2 drivers of the Springfield warehouse.  I do think about PeaPod / Giant Delivery LLC every time I see those green trucks.  Despite everything, I do miss this job because it was so different, a blue collar job, and driving as a career was not even thought of in my field options.  The uniforms were good and brand new.  The pay was decent.  I got a chance to look at the beauty of Virginia especially when I thought Manassas, Ashburn, Great Falls, etc. were far places.  The job did give me flashbacks to old stomping grounds of Chantilly, Herndon, Centreville, Fairfax, Alexandria, Arlington, Springfield, etc.  I did become eligible for unemployment because the company did not respond.  However, if there is an ineligible status on the same claim, then you can keep filing, but have to appeal the ineligible status in order to get paid.  My unemployment compensation with Virginia is still pending.

I had to file US Department of Labor Occupational Safety and Health Administration complaints against the following:

United Parcel Service On my final week April 15-18, 2019, UPS made me very sick the entire week and with the weather 65 to 75 degrees. On the belt in my area, UPS ran the warehouse heaters at 90 degrees making it very unbearable. UPS terminated me the day before graduating.  I did the job, but the only appreciation I received was attendance on coming in every day.  I filed a grievance regarding the situation, but OSHA stated the complaint could not be filed because it has no control on warehouse temperature conditions.

Amazon After crazy termination debacle, I filed a complaint on most of the major conditions of the warehouse from carbon monoxide detectors not working to other issues.  This complaint was accepted and filed as an informal complaint since I was no longer there.

US Department of Defense I filed this compliant, but OSHA stated time lapse.  I was in a long discussion with the OSHA officer discussing all the issues of workplace violence, etc.  It was a very good and informative conversation.

ABBTECH Professional Services I filed this compliant, but OSHA stated time lapse.  It was brought up in the civil case on both Plaintiff and Defendant's testimony.

PeaPod - Giant Delivery LLC I filed this complaint against the trucks I drove and other issues in the warehouse.  This complaint was accepted and filed as an informal complaint since I was no longer there.

Yoh Services LLC I filed this complaint, but OSHA stated time lapse.

AmeriCorps / Up2Us Sports / TeensRunDC / District of Columbia Public Schools I filed this one, but OSHA stated it was out of their jurisdiction.

Birthday Month Festivities I planned major and minor activities for my birthday month, but it seems someone or people did not want me to enjoy it.  This is what happened. 1992-1993 - accidentally lost keys and took no issue with it because replacements were made. In South Carolina, I accidentally lost wallet and replaced everything....nothing really was in it since I was just a kid.

2015 - In New York City, keys were lost and given back to me; even though, I already paid to have the keys replaced.  I was elated and superbly surprised for as large as this city is...that I got something back.

2016 - In Chicago, I became ill and could not control the loss of my wallet and other original identification documents....nothing came back to me.  One out of my set of three keys went missing.

2019 - In Washington, DC, keys were purposely taken from me in March 2019....I already had a backup or 2nd pair. My bicycle seat cover stolen twice for no apparent reason. Life kept on trucking. Then in June 2019, my wallet was purposely taken from me and fraudulent activity occurred immediately.  Nothing materialistically came back to me. The banks, credit card companies, and I fixed the fraudulent activity.  In my sacred home of Washington, DC, I am confused and baffled on the purpose of harming or hurting me in that way in a sacred place of the gym.  Questions unanswered:  Is it to just repeat the same incidents that already happened with family and do it with a bunch of strangers?  Is it to ensure I was physically in the city?  Is it to ruin the happiness and enjoyment I do around my birthday month?  Is it because I talk about everything to the public?  Is it to say we hate you and the way I carry my life?  Is it just do because it is happening to other people?  Is it to do it just to get another police report?  Is it to prevent me from getting a job with WMATA as a special police officer?  Is it to see whether or not I commit crimes without identification or access to money?  Is it to say I cannot physically f*ck up the person that does the harm/hurt for a self-defense plea?  Yes, I felt anger towards me when I went to the Nationals vs another team (2x) and announced it via twitter that Nationals won both games. Either way it goes, 30 years of having the gym/fitness centers as a sacred place has been violated.  40 years of church as a sacred place is being changed to ensure nothing happens there.  I am still on schedule on moving away from Washington, DC.  I stayed still long enough.  After the wallet incident, I will not be renewing anything regarding Washington, DC...let it all expire next year or whenever they expire...join the State of Connecticut.  I will only leave Washington, DC with my corporation headquarters.  I was genuinely asked by some of my organizations to run for Mayor again, and I seriously gave it a thought, but nah....  

Another thing, DC tried to reproduce what Atlanta already did on Flag Day.  DC (NYC) had a red and grey taxi with an ethopian/black driver run me down or hit me from the back at an K St NW & 6th St NW intersection and I am on a bicycle, and knock me to the ground sending me to the George Washington University hospital.  Thanks to the bicyclist and witnesses for taking care of me until ambulance, MPD, and DC Fire and EMS arrived while everyone was calling 911.  After five hours, full examination and x-rays, the doctors and nurses cleared me that I was okay to go home.  At least the white woman driver with her SUV immediately compensated me for ruining my bicycle and the Atlanta bike accident did not send me to the hospital.

Another thing, DC MPD decided to attempt to take credit for giving me someone else's empty, very dirty wallet along with my five (5) cards I cannot use. It was in an evidence bag with things listed on it that was never in the bag.  The incident report quickly reviewed stated their research and contact attempts to reach me.  I am very sorry for poor, poverish, or non-intelligent people, who cannot get themselves out of the legal process or criminal law.  I personally apologize what people do that have power over your life do.  It does give me some sort of relief I did not win Mayor for real and question how some candidates' or incumbent promote, such positive numbers, to retain office.

Here is the backdrop or background of the wallet situation at Sport and Health Northwest (Tenleytown) - my letter of termination and cancellation:

After 30 plus years of fitness and working out in gyms across any city and any state, Capitol Hill Sport and Health showed twice that they can pick locks, then I went Tenleytown Sport and Health.  I thought with the 55 plus gray hairs senior folk that it would be okay to workout there.  I did bring a guest one day to show him the gym and his similar kinfolk, and he got chastised by the Tenleytown sales personnel.  On Wednesday, June 5, 2019, I happened to show up late in the evening around 6:30 PM and trying to catch at least one group fitness class and get a workout in.  I did see some minority faces I never saw before in the gym so I did not question.  I prepared to leave and get my normal shower in.  I went to the Men’s Locker Room.  My locker number was 50.  I insert my key and the entire lock fell apart.  I asked the front desk if it was an accident that my lock was cut.  He (a young white man front desk clerk) informed me to check for my wallet and other valuables.  Sure enough, my entire wallet from my pants and my checkbooks were stolen directly from my bag.  The front desk stated he was the only one on duty to run entire gym.  He stated some people came to check out the gym and did it in less than 5 minutes.  No camera footage and no discernment of the individuals especially if he is paid minimum wage individual with no manager on staff.  At Sport and Health, mid-range price point was to keep rift-raft out.  DC Metropolitan Police Department was called and report is made.  I am locking down my cards.   DC MPD had the nerve to reiterate this happens a lot in the Tenleytown area.

So based on this rollup of a situation, this is my decision.  Capitol Hill, I am terminating my membership on Thursday, June 6, 2019.  No termination fee is charged. No monthly membership fee is charged.  If any fee is charged without my consent July 2019, then I will inconvenience you and all employees’ names at Capitol Hill and Tenleytown, and send it through every system in the United States and the District of Columbia, and at the end send you a bill that you will have to pay.  Thanks for your attention to this matter.  My weapon of choice:  Tell everything to everybody.   At least, I do give the courtesy of telling your first.

Civil Action Suits ABBTECH Professional Services ABBTECH stayed in the State of Virginia and defended their position in Arlington County Circuit Court.  The initial case was dismissed and workplace violence was permissible based on the configuration told.  The configuration is one company invites you in, another company assaults you, and the government hosts the place where it can happen....if you report it, the company that (holds your clearance) invited you in files an incident report on your clearance....then the government files a decision on your clearance...thus leaving you without a clearance.

YOH Services LLC, a Day and Zimmermann Company Emailed copies of everything that was happening in Arlington County (Virginia) Circuit Court was sent to all Yoh offices. Their offices were moved out of Virginia to escape a Class 1 Misdemeanor of Simple Assault and Battery.

United States Department of Defense The Arlington County (Virginia) Circuit Court case was upgraded to United States District Court. It is currently in progress. Two US Department of Justice United States Attorneys and a special assistant attorney are defending US DOD.  My motions are being heard on June 14, 2019, which is Flag Day, or making a decision on the papers.  In relation to the ABBTECH situation, if you are non-military personnel holding a clearance and assaulted or violated, you have two years from the date the incident occurred to file an administrative review with the Department of Army, Navy (Marines), Air Force, or Coast Guard.  You have to google or search the internet for the information....this is not general public knowledge and it is not covered in any of its training for any project.  I am still working the case.

EuroMotors Montgomery County (Maryland) Circuit Court heard the case.  It was a good and long testimonial discussion with the judge to connect EuroMotors to the incidents that happened with my Mercedes-Benz.  However, the initial case was dismissed, but I can re-filed on basis of harm with the repossession.

PODS Middlesex County (New Jersey) Superior Court has this case.  No response, yet.  Still in discovery period.

More civil cases to file, but one to three at a time.

Class Action Suits Postmates I complied and got a response.

Grubhub I complied and got a response.

Uber I complied and got a response.

Caviar I complied and got a response.

Walmart I complied and pending response.

Wells Fargo I complied and got a response because proof of evidence was not supplied.

A Recruitment Process Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority I got notification in April regarding the Special Police Officer position with Metro Transit Police.  I did not go in April 2019 because I did not have all my documents together.  Then, I got another notice regarding a May recruiting event.  I paid quite a bit of money to get originals and copies of all identification.  I went attended the recruiting and got to the first interview.  First interviewer stated they needed the original birth certificate with seal embossed on it.  First interviewer (a white man) did question why someone like me with all this education would want a $36,000 job.  I left and purchased birth certificate again.  I filled out the online application again and got a June 2019 notice day of recruitment.  I went and attended.  Second interviewer (a white lady) looked at my questionnaire and I had all the pages. She stated I needed another work reference, more neighborhood references and everyone has to be local to area. She stated to reschedule. Guess what I did? I walked straight the door and did not look back.  People that were to the recruiting event have been doing it for months and did not get through.

Please see all attachments regarding the cases.

[harryandmeghan0-blog]

Tips on how to Keep Captivated with Writing

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Tips on how to Keep Captivated with Writing

Tips on how to Keep Captivated with Writing

Any creator reaches a departed conclude from time to time. Ingenuity can be a top quality that’s defined by peaks and valleys. Several renowned writers have gone by dry out time periods of writer’s prevent wherever they experienced their get the job done was ineffective.

It’s besides fiction authors that suffer this fate. Editors, experts and in some cases individuals also attain tips exactly where they feel uninspired by their function.

So what do you need to do in case your soul is lagging and you also can’t obtain the fulfillment and excitement in designing a new challenge?

Head over to seminars and workshops

Portion of the difficulty of composing is the fact that it’s a solitary project. And also the human being mind is a difficult beast, it could possibly dried out up quite speedy in the absence of out side excitement. Going to writer’s classes and seminars can kindle your commitment once more. Becoming feed-back on your do the job can provide the latest mindset on it. Listening to the recommendation within the coordinator can fixed you in the new course.

Match other folks working on interesting jobs, this will fill up you with the want to carry on in order to get started with over. Grab yourself away from the work space – the web site of a lot of disheartening hours Andndash; this can revitalize your feels and support kindle new ideas.

Get a diverse style

If you’re a sociologist taking care of a dissertation, attempt publishing poetry or fiction. If you’re a fiction publisher, test crafting an editorial document about a little something you really feel enthusiastic about. It’s a way to continue to keep practicing composing with no having stuck inside of a rut.

It will also enable grab the demands out. You’re not attempting to distribute a magazine of poems, you’re just taking part in all around with words and phrases. You’re not trying to become a journalist, you’re just getting an alternate way to communicate yourself. Occasionally branching out into different spots and testing designs will bring an easy-heartedness to the do the job.

Re-study the best e-book

Some writers have a unique arrange that determined all of them to create. Probably it inspired their publishing type or exposed them nearly new choices in creating. When you’re having to deal with a lull as part of your work, get back to the early source of your encouragement. Re-study it. Religious people utilize their sacred messages when they’re uncertain. Choose your own property. What did it provide you with all those in the past when you initially study it? Simply what does it coach you on today?

Teach

If you’re desperate for the point inside your work, look at instruction. There’s practically nothing safer to light your fire than moving past in the accumulated happenings within your many years of writing to willing little freelance writers. You’ll have the chance to get inventory of all complications you’ve defeat to get to the idea you’re at at this time. It may give you the daring to beat your current hinder. Supplying suggestions for them is usually an indirect means of allowing assistance to you.

Be sure you have enough time

Possibly your condition isn’t not enough inspiration but burn off-out. Do you take on way proofread my essay too many responsibilities at once? Will you be wanting to steadiness operate and family and over-stretching on your own? There’s nothing at all just like having a lot onto your platter to snuff your inventive fireplace. Weakness, pressure and a sense of guilt really are a harmful cocktail that only work to keep your muse from increasing.

Rearrange your schedule to add in the required time for pleasure activities, to accomplish the no-composing connected issues you’re enthusiastic about. Sparking desire in other regions in your life may have a contagious affect on your composing lifestyle at the same time. Also, letting yourself living space from a challenges is exactly what will give you the standpoint to fix them.

Undertake job that you really enjoy

Absolutely nothing eliminates your desire for composing like covering matters you find dull. So, if that’s what you’re accomplishing, halt. There are additional than enough publishing gigs to visit near around that you simply love. Consider these tips from Ray Bradbury: “I’ve by no means worked each and every day in doing my lifestyle. The happiness of composing has propelled me every day and 12 months to season. I wish for you to jealousy me, my satisfaction. Get rid of below today and say: Andlsquo;Am I getting happy?’ Just in case you’ve bought a writer’s inhibit, you may heal it this evening hours by ceasing whatsoever you’re writing and accomplishing something else. You decided on an incorrect matter.”

Enroll in a writer’s party

Essentially one fulfills in-particular person rather then on line, but if that’s extremely hard, then an online 1 is better than very little. It assists to speak to other freelance writers and show your career. Most freelance writers usually have a circle of author friends, but it may be a tough factor to will depend on your mates to provide frank comments. A small group of professional freelance writers are unable to only offer extra goal suggestions, nonetheless they can give you the service and motivation you have to go through hard phases and get to the conclude range.

Glance at the compact picture

At times your publishing aspirations are far too large. You ought to publish the truly great Us Novel or win the Nobel Winning prize for Literature. But alternatively you’re seated ahead of a blank tv screen on a daily basis. So, consider something else. Don’t give thought to goals and objectives. Don’t think about concluding your guide. Look at these days. One expression following your other. And right after you’re performed, place it out as well as prevent thinking about it. After which the next day do identical things.

Grab the strain away to transform your interest on. Signature Twain described his creating approach by doing this: “The actual key of getting in advance is getting commenced. The actual key of receiving begun is splitting your elaborate overpowering responsibilities into little reasonable activities, and after that establishing on the first one.”

Whichever lull you’re undergoing at this time, keep in mind several freelance writers prior to deciding to go through it at the same time. Don’t surrender. Just make it to the flex. After you round it, details will appear several yet again.

[sporadicbouquetturtle-blog]

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The entire body. Our body ought to incorporate the many disputes which support a person's thesis. Each and every passage need to consentrate on just one level. Future, contain a few paragraphs to be able to succinctly describe and oppose the most gripping opposite disagreement.

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