#does it work for other things?
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upthewitchypunx · 7 months ago
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Having an old house is like when something breaks, you fix it and them something else breaks. Sometimes it happens in 3s. Sometimes that third thing fixes itself?
Ian B locked himself out of the downstairs bath, then he locked himself in the downstairs bath. So I replaced the doorknob. Then I replaced the faucet to the upstairs sink because it became broke in new ways.
Then the kitchen sink was clogged for the first time in over a decade. I put some cleaner in but it was clogged for 3 days. I opened a tab on my laptop for a local plumber recommended by neighbors. They looked like a real M-F 9-5 place so I figured we'd do that weird British thing of keeping a tub in the sink*, and I'd call on Monday.
Well, the sink seems to be clear this morning after 5 or 6 full kettles of hot water over the last few days. I'm just going to assume the tab for the plumber being open for a few days was some some of spell?
*I've stayed at several British houses where they keep a plastic tub in the sink for washing dishes, I don't really get it. I did not mean to insinuate they don't have plumbing, we were clearly dumping our water outside because it wouldn't go down the drain. The tub was just an easy fix until my plumber Firefox tab spell worked.
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hinamie · 10 months ago
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10 years later
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bacchuschucklefuck · 5 months ago
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january month of yuugi
#yugioh#ygo dm#yugi mutou#idk what was in the water on 2025 opening but it really got me thinking hm. I will finally draw yuugi#ygo has been in my dna for like close to a decade at this point and yet. I have never attempted to draw anything for it#until now. my audacity has finally reached quota#wishshipping saved my ass this lunar new year and its not even an exaggeration. thank you kazuki takahashi for the boys. rest in peace#mutou yuugi I love u.... u r my son#not mentioned in this stack but dsod's decision to thin yuugi's choker is the funniest shittiest character design decision on earth#like as a detail its so nothing. when u zoom out it just looks like a shadow dropped wrong somewhere. I have come to terms with#the other fashion choice for him in that movie but the tiny ass choker I don't accept. that's stupid. big it#I rly like the vision of older yuugi being like. obnoxiously polite and cheerful#specifically in a way that's not like ceding space for everyone else. like it's clear at all time that he's Like That#and nobody will be able to stop him from being Like That#and also tbh I can never imagine him leaving domino for long (<- definitely not projecting my city slicker ass on him)#I think the game shop's been where he's safe to be himself for so long that he'd want to keep it running and extend#that shade to other kids in the city too. his loyal customers are so scared of disappointing him for no reason#.... typed huge wall of text abt jou leaving domino for tournaments etc frequently but always coming back to hang out with yuugi#I am actually ill abt them huh.... maybe ygo was the progenitor honestly maybe it started me on the two blokes who do fuckall ships#yuugi is so cute but I do know in my heart tho he does Not cook. that kid has never learned and will never manage#I know he doesnt even have water in his office whenever he works. scared of spilling#its a good thing hes got friends galore now people are blowing his phone up wasting their sms toll telling him to drink water#(slowly tipping into mania) I just think he's so neat. love that boy he's so cute
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clumsypuppy · 7 months ago
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who is your favorite AA character? 👁️👁️
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ziska… I hope capcom brings her back someday
#shes cool as fuck to me bc when I first played jfa I found her really frustrating to deal with#not just as Phoenix but I mean like on a personal level she is challenging because she’s so thorough#and yet I also find it fascinating that she breaks the character she’s built for herself once in a while#i 100% believe that I don’t think she would have caught on to what Phoenix was trying to do while stalling for time with engardes trial#so it’s probably a good thing edgeworth subbed in but she literally busts her ass to bring evidence to court#almost right after having a bullet extracted from her WHICH SHE ALSO PRESENTS AS EVIDENCE. thats metal as fuck ok#especially since she would technically have nothing to do with the case after edgeworth fills in and she still decided to do that anyway#maybe it was blind faith to use that evidence to win since she wasn’t there for most of the trial but still#and even if canon doesn’t give it to me I still firmly believe there’s be at least some chemistry between her and Maya#like especially if you hold it next to wrightworth that works bc there’s already a history there and majority of Phoenix and miles trying#to relearn their relationship is Phoenix coaxing out that side of Miles that he remembers from fourth grade#but with Franmaya it’s something new and they’re basically strangers to each other and one of them almost got the other convicted#and I still think that’s fascinating and it’s a damn shame thay half of the fics I find for them on ao3 is background in wrightworth fic#i did find a good one that touched on Franziska trying to win pearls approval because Pearl does hold a grudge against her#and seeing that trying to live up to perfecting even her personal relationships without getting to know Pearl to even know#why it wasn’t working feels believable when I think abt her as a character yk#myart#my art#doodles#aa#ace attorney#franziska von karma
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lazylittledragon · 5 months ago
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i am losing my entire shit right now, this single panel caused a nuclear disaster in my ig comments when someone said "halsin just saying 'astarion's partner' instead of his name feels icky"
which is such a fucking reach by itself but descended into this in about 5 seconds
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taraxippos · 5 months ago
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I think people tend to assume that any criticism of worldbuilding is ultimately a demand for a story to grind itself to a halt and give the reader 20 paragraphs of exposition, and like. Most of the time good-faith criticism of this nature is coming from a core aspect of the story not being grounded in the setting in a way that outright detracts from the story's quality. You fix it not by Explaining but by Showing it passively in the makeup of the world.
Like the last instance I saw this critique in was like 'you can't expect an author to stop and exposit the nuances of gender roles/Queerness in a fictional society' and it's like yeah I don't, and in fact this is actually one of the easiest things to show in the text without exposition. If a society has gender norms to begin with you'll see aspects of these norms baked into EVERYTHING. You'll see it in its stories, its religion, its taboos, its etiquette, its clothing, its family structures, its language, its insults, its labor, its leadership, etc. It will have massive impacts on how characters interact with one another and how they perceive themselves. It will help Shape your characters.
If you do this legwork to begin with for the core facets of your story, you will find very natural places for these concepts to be demonstrated without derailing the plot and with little to no exposition. THAT sort of thing is what's being asked of you.
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qoldenskies · 7 months ago
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i think its so funny when people take the way donnie acts at face value even though its a horrible lie because he's a horrible liar, while understanding leo is bullshitting very well despite him actually being GOOD at bullshitting. many such cases
#personal#rottmnt#although tbf its probably because with leo its unpacked more thoroughly in the movie#donnie is not a morally ambiguous emotionally unavailable bad boy. he is very sensitive actually#he's a little crybaby /aff#and like this isnt hidden. he isnt SECRETLY sensitive or secretly caring its very out in the open actually#he's not hiding it well AT ALL AND THEY ALL KNOW IT LMAOOOOOOOO#i think donnie's perception of himself is somewhat earnest and somewhat. not? he DEFINITELY thinks he's more evil than he actually is#BGHFHDHGJFHG#i think what causes him to lash out and struggle to communicate is his inability to articulate his feelings#they are just too big for him. like its the exact opposite of robotic#he cant force himself to give a fuck but when he DOES its too much#so he yells and lashes out or he shuts down completely#honestly i think the perception of him being too sensitive being a problem makes way more sense than the perception of him being 'robotic'#when it comes to struggles in how his family sees him at least#even in little ways you can see him take it pretty personally when he's insulted#he struggles to blow things off#and i think it would also explain his tendency to like. visibly calm himself down when he gets upset? its a thing he does a lot in the show#he desperately wants to destroy that perception of him because he's trying so hard to close himself off#he doesn't want to be the sensitive one that cant take anything. it especially works in line with his shell#it was a big inspiration for canary continuity tbh. donnie should struggle with being the sensitive one in fic more#mikey is more empathetic and he's more emotional but donnie's quicker to feel offended or take things personally#BACKED UP HEAVILY BY CANON#that 'you can be honest with me! no hard feelings' - 'he's lyinggggggg'#like he's not upset with them babying him as much as he is with them genuinely finding it frustrating that he can fall behind like that#and just cannot take shit like that. so he tries to pull back and not seem as affected as he is#theyre a very cuddly family but mind you they can be actually mean to each other like that!!
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metamatronic · 25 days ago
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okay so obviously there was a little time-skip from the last time (since arnold is in captain now) but i had to get this out. am i insane?? doesn’t this make sense???
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whathehonestfuk · 2 months ago
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eddie isnt picking up on steves flirting so steve invites him over (and tells everyone else he has a date so they dont bother him)
when eddie arrives steve calls to him that hes in the kitchen
cooking in nothing but an apron
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teratomatica · 4 months ago
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you always land on all fours
#umineko#umineko spoilers#ikuko hachijo#ikukos turn for a more serious piece... the old man has reigned for too long#now. INCREDIBLY LONG INCOHERENT TAGS RANT INCOMING FAIR WARNING HAS BEEN GIVEN:#it makes me so so sad how little discussion there is about specifically ikuko because imho she fits so neatly into a lot of the more#overarching Big Themes of the game in a way that i have not ever really seen people take notice of or point out in a meaningful way#like even just off of the top of my head. the significance of names and what it means to go by a name that's Not Yours (she has like 4+)#what it Means to be a witch how it represents a person's deepest insecurities and flaws & how its at its core a coping mechanism#the fact that it takes two to create a universe and trying to do it on your own anyways has the capacity to bring you intense misery#^ (how she's shown to be extremely dismissive of her own work and skill until a collaborator comes into her life and helps/encourages her)#and even the family/patriarchy/misogyny stuff that is so prevalent in the rest of the game comes back around to her. even her Only Friend#(young&stupid atp to be fair) remarks that shes Weird for being unmarried + the little she does say about her past invites the question of#to what extent her self-image stems from her family deeming her a freak outcast & effectively disowning her while celebrating her brothers#and i have lot in my mind about the witch thing specifically because i think her particular situation is very reflective of what umineko's#entire magic system and fantasy facet as a whole is meant to represent for an individual. from what little we see of (what is presumably)#her Real personality she is shown to be deeply self conscious in a way that is JARRINGLY diametrically opposed to both 1.) what we see in#featherine and 2.) what we see when she is acting as a Public Figure. because both of the above are very much purposeful acts that she is#putting on in order to obfuscate her true self. and i have always been very resolute & adamant about not totally equating her to featherine#not only because im very firmly in the camp of “featherine is the avatar of the Pen Name & tohya is part of her too” but also very much b/c#i feel very strongly that the stark differences between the two are very centrally relevant to her character & her psyche. as is the case#with most other witches featherine's personality traits serve to reveal/magnify a lot of ikukos inner workings by playing on her#insecurities/reversing them e.g. ikuko being very quick to downplay her skill/achievements becomes featherine being the COMPLETE opposite#to the point where she barely registers even other witches as living beings rather than just fun touys. BUT even though i do champion the#ikuko/featherine separation so hard i ALSO think it is purposefully relevant that at first glance the line between them seems so blurry#her introduction implying a more nebulous separation between her reality/fantasy counterpart is i think is an intentional move on her part#like it is part of the front she is putting up when acting as the Author. as opposed to Ikuko the person who we (in a way ironically very#similar to the way that the Real Battler is presumably only shown during the boatscene) only very briefly get to see take up screentime#which even on a meta level lines up very well with her apparent underlying nature as a like. extremely private largely reserved/shy person#hit tag limit but if by some miracle anyone is still reading this thank you... please see ikuko with the love she deserves... ok ily byeee
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sysig · 4 months ago
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Skelekinz (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Webkinz#Gaster#Sans#Papyrus#Smol's a genius and I'm giving her at least a solid 50% of the inspiration credit on this one#Like I've already been in the mood of Webkinzifying others - there's more Helix stuff in the works I just aghldsjafskdlf#But then she tossed the idea of Gaster's blue hands being Buddies and agh gah what brilliance how quick on the draw#Lol#Really tho! Gaster's PSI being a Buddy - or like a Pet of the Month special or something - so cool! So clever!#And so the rest of it haha#Once again drawing his hands signing ''s'' and ''p'' :3c Who remembers my old vector of him still haha#And then also Void!Gaster! :D Looking much sadder haha his Happiness just never quite fills all the way nooo#Does momentarily when you give him a labcoat but then he just asks for something else to wear weh :'D#And obviously if he was Skele-kinz'd (hehe) then the boys had to be as well! ♥ Always deserve the cutes and sweets#Sans' is easy enough - there's no actual white turtleneck under blue jacket item but there Should be! It's so cute!#There is the Hotdog Buddy hehe - if you'll recalled Mini Mint who is currently cosplaying Sans has one :)#But there's no Spaghetti Buddy! Agh! So unfortunate#There is a Marshmallow Buddy tho :3 Which is pretty fun hehe#All this Sans rep gotta find a good Papyrus clothes and pet!#Had a good bit of fun imagining how they'd move around in rooms and such - there are bipedal pets! I think they walk funny haha#Sans would definitely always have his hands in his pockets outside of like emoting animations haha - little wave with his left hand <3#You could probably replace Gaster's clipboard prop with other things - the Halloween candy bucket comes to mind lol#And then some requests :D Papyrus would want spaghetti but of course his spaghetti is the very best (it's not)#But he'd still appreciate the comparison!#Gaster's requests would definitely be outlandish and impossible haha - or else to go to work and then to go to work again lol#You have to wait eight hours you workaholic skeleton you're not allowed! We Just Did! Haha
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sweetmapple · 3 months ago
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Jon should have been allowed to punch him at the panopticon [158] 🙂‍↕️
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inkedinserendipity · 4 months ago
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one of the reasons i think that the murderbot diaries’ emotional moments hit so hard is because of a scarcity effect that the author has set up really, really well.
because, like—murderbot, as a character, is an answer to the question how do you “show and not tell” emotional moments from the lens of a character who point-blank will not acknowledge any affection directed their way. or, instead of overtly stating that characters are friends (“tell”), how do you demonstrate it with text (“show”)? well, most authors go ham on characters smiling at each other, laughing, joking, expressing reciprocal loyalty.
murderbot does none of those things. murderbot probably never smiled before preservation, and definitely didn’t laugh. (this is only partially an exaggeration.) telling jokes? hell yeah, MB’s funny as fuck. to other people? hell no. that would require conversations and it’d rather die, thanks.
add that to the fact that murderbot treats any expressions of affection toward it—internal and external—like being bit by a snake.
so you have this character + writing style that bars most conventional ways of establishing relationships between characters. you also have this character who is basically incapable of feeling any sort of reciprocated, positive emotion toward itself. so what do you do?
you work around your character. murderbot will never pick up on affectionate body language. it hates hugs. every sentence it hears passes through about fifteen different filters of self-loathing. so you make your relationships clear, and when you hit, you hit hard.
you summarize snapshots of characters panicking about the main character getting hurt. you drop your character’s performance reliability (and their walls) and have them banter. you have your character walk in on the tail end of conversations that expose concern for it.
and then you do things so overt that even your shit-self-esteem character can’t talk its way out of. you have its friend tell it directly that it can’t lose it too. you have its friends accommodate it and understand it without it directly expressing a single need. you have its friends stand up for it in conversation when it is too tired to do so. and then, when you really want to hit, you have your character pretend to be physically compromised rather than have to feel one (1) positive emotion toward itself.
positive emotions toward itself can’t really pass through murderbot’s walls. so you have to establish relationships by beating your main character over the head with them. and it can’t be all the time—because that’s not how relationships and emotional recovery, yknow, works—but it can be sometimes, and it can be very powerful, and that is why i think murderbot diaries in particular is very, very effective.
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fisheito · 24 days ago
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When all your housepets are biters
#eiden answers the door like this#don't worry. they're just a little attached to him#new AU! eiden is a wildlife rehabilitator!#well it's not really an ALTERNATE alternate universe. because it's still in klein.#we have the option for all these lil dudes to transform into their human selves#but let's pretend that they're stuck in their creature forms when they're weak or wounded#his wards (once feeling significantly better) often poof into human forms and eiden is not surprised anymore#sure he's helped creatures that just STAY as creatures#but idk. lately he's had a knack for picking up stray creatures#nursing them back to wellness#then they turn into a handsome guy#yeah. weirder things have happened in THIS klein timeline.#eiden continues to help lil critters even after collecting a harem of creature transformers#and the more jealous among the clan members will pop back into their creature modes#to compete for eiden's attention#but eiden doesn't fall for it because come on. this kitten is actually injured. you're just feeling clingy#(he will give them attention when the kitten is finally napping)#eiden's usually a catch and release kinda guy#but . sometimes oopsies happen#by which i mean certain lil guys refuse to leave your side. and they become forever fosters#they live here now. eiden has tried to release them back into their habitats on multiple occasions. they always find a way back#but eiden tries to remember that they're still wild animals#so he always gives them the option to leave. to come and go as they please#this is probably the case with the more independent clan members (they have things to do out there)#but there's still that specific crew that demands to be home with eiden. following him everywhere. they become part of his toolset#this is just gonna turn into another version of pokeemans.....#the point is . if eiden answers the door like this.. no one who lives nearby is caught off guard.#they KNOW what eiden does for a living. and they KNOW that he has an incubus and a vampire (among other entities) at home#eiden will not get arrested for public indecency like this LOL#he's TRYING to train the incubus to not gnaw at him when he answers the door. but it's a work in progress...
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hannahbarberra162 · 15 days ago
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Fully Human (Sci Fi AU, Marco x Reader, dark, dead dove, non con, humans as pets)
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18+ MDNI | on Ao3 | the other parts
Summary: Humans had been the best incubators ever found; their little bodies seemingly designed only for sexual reproduction. They had no horns, hooves, claws, scales, fangs, armor, or venom - only smooth skin, soft hair, and tight holes. Too bad their species went extinct many cycles ago.
You are a few credits away from being able to afford the medicine you need for your sister. Everything is going to work out just fine and you'll be able to get back to Lafftale.
Until Marco of the Whitebeard Pirates finds out you're fully human.
A/N: You might be thinking "Hannah, *another* work where someone gets kidnapped by the Whitebeard Pirates and taken to the Dick?"
I would answer "yes."
Lore heavy in this chapter, the sexy stuff really kicks off in the next. Just roll with the sci fi tropes, I'm not world building from scratch here.
Thank you to @tryingandfailingtowrite for beta-ing this for me <3
Marco walked down the dim hall of the dingy merchant ship, his eyes on his data pad. He was nearly done taking stock of the meager but helpful supplies they’d requisitioned from the ship. Thatch would be pleased, Marco thought, since the ship evidently dealt in trading spices and foodstuffs. The merchant ship had the misfortune to be within magnetic range of the Moby Dick , the Whitebeard Pirates’ main ship. It was their standard operating procedure to board all foreign vessels and raid their stores for anything useful. Since the little ship wasn’t aligned with Whitebeard’s territory, they were fair game for the taking. The Pirates would leave enough supplies for the ship to get to its next location but other than that they’d take whatever was deemed useful.
The 4th division had raided the merchant’s wares after putting the few crew members in containment cubes. The crew hadn’t put up a fight so no battle had taken place; the few beings that worked on the ship were merely being restrained to prevent any annoyance that might occur. Whitebeard wasn’t in the business of causing undue damage to ships or beings, especially not those on the periphery of his territory. All Marco had left to do was to scan all the beings on the foreign crew for their human DNA percentage and he could go back to his own division. 
Along with taking supplies, it was standard procedure to scan all foreign crew members for their human percentage. Humans as a species had been extinct long before Marco was born, but a few creatures in the galaxy had high percentages of human DNA. The higher the human DNA (hDNA), the better chances were for the being to be compatible for reproduction across species. Creatures with hDNA were in great demand but the availability was incredibly low.
Humans had been the best incubators ever found; their little bodies seemingly designed only for sexual reproduction. They had no horns, hooves, claws, scales, fangs, armor, or venom - only smooth skin, soft hair, and tight holes. It was like the universe had made them for fucking, every curve and line of their weak bodies enticing to all species across the galaxy. Once the first human had been found, their planet had been quickly raided for humans in their fertility window and sold across the galaxy as incubators and sex pets. 
Unfortunately many humans did not survive the transition from their planet to another. One of the issues was that humans were delicate, only able to tolerate a very small range of temperatures and conditions. Most had died quickly, unable to bear the harsh conditions into which they were sold or placed. As more humans were taken, other species learned what humans needed for survival through trial and error. 
And humans made for incredible incubators. Almost all races were compatible with humans, the females able to carry young from an incredible range of alien races. The birthing process was messy and complicated but many found the process worthwhile. Many alien races were saved from the brink of extinction by mating with human females, their children slightly weaker but able to carry on their genetic lineage. Human males were mostly kept as pets; they were less commonly used for mating but it did happen from time to time. 
Those who did not need humans for incubation found they made excellent pets if kept within narrow life supporting conditions. Humans were amusing, social, crafty, but ultimately foolish creatures. It had been determined that they did best when they had a singular master controlling their lives and issuing commands. Many aliens came to love their human pets, elevating them nearly to the status of a partner. Alas, full blooded humans did not last long in the universe.
The problem was that so many humans were taken and sold off to different races that no one thought to let the humans reproduce with one another to create more humans. Not only that but pure blooded human children took an incredibly long time to develop into adults, needing tending long after most species would be considered matured. No one wanted to spend the time or effort breeding humans with one another, everyone wanted humans for their own ends. 
Which meant that after only a few short galactic cycles, all the pure blooded humans were gone. It was said that the Galactic Government had a small cohort of humans that they kept for themselves but Marco had never heard of anyone actually seeing the humans. Those born of humans were later mated themselves, leaving each subsequent generation with a lower and lower hDNA percentage. Many beings had some hDNA in them, but not enough to make a significant difference. 
Even after humans themselves went extinct, their descendants still carried on some of their genetic capabilities, particularly around reproduction. So the higher the hDNA, the more desirable a partner would be for mating and reproduction. Anything above 20% was highly sought after, though exceedingly rare. It had been many galactic cycles since humans had gone extinct and the percentages dropped with each subsequent generation. Females would boast about their hDNA numbers as long as they weren’t too high. Beings with high hDNA percentages over 30% ended up getting trafficked into slavery and sold to the highest bidder unless they could find a mate who could protect them from such a fate. 
Marco didn’t have great hopes for high hDNA percentages given the crew members he saw in the individual cubes. Containment cubes were a useful tool used widely in the galaxy - able to be sized to almost any size of cargo, nearly unbreakable walls, able to be moved with a hover pad, and the walls could be made transparent or opaque. Most ships used them for their intended purpose of storing and moving supplies. The cubes weren’t initially designed to store living beings but the off label use was extremely helpful. 
Still, when ships would be raided, it was common to access everyone’s hDNA percentage. Whitebeard was firmly against the slave trade but he wasn’t above keeping beings for his own purposes if the need arose. Whitebeard was unique among the Emperors in that he specialized in collecting strays - most of the Commanders were the last of their kind of species, Marco included. Pops had always encouraged his crew to try and multiply their numbers, and humans were their best best. Unfortunately no crew Marco had ever scanned had anyone with a hDNA score over 20. 
In his youth, Marco viewed every scrap of information he had found on humans. He was completely fascinated by their kind and had thought through how he’d take care of one before many of his sleep cycles. It had been his dream to find a full blooded human and become their master, to have someone to take care of who would depend on him for everything. He also fantasized about mating a human female in order to continue his dying species. Marco spent hours pouring over documents, images, and videos of humans that had been taken before their untimely demise.
Oh, the videos. Marco had watched every human mating video he could find, fisting his cock and imagining he was the one plunging into the female humans. The females were diminutive and soft, their skin easily marred during a rough taking. Both sexes made incredible noises when aroused, the sounds never failing to make Marco hard. But what he really enjoyed watching were videos where the females were brought to orgasm themselves, their tight holes clenching around the partner they’d been given. It was not always a given that the female came in the vids. Most species did not care one way or another for the pleasure of female humans since it was not a requirement for successful breeding. But Marco searched video archive after archive, looking for vids where the female was lost in herself, completely succumbing to the sensations her partner brought to her. How he wanted to see a human's little face scrunch in pleasure as she milked his cock. It was one of his most enduring fantasies, lasting longer than any other. 
Alas as he got older, Marco realized the naivety of his quest but his heart still harbored a secret wish to find a human and mate them. It was why he personally scanned all foreign crews despite being the Commander of his own division and a physician besides. Sighing again, he looked at the small row of containment cubes stacked on top of one another.
Various common species were present but Marco still dutifully scanned them all. Marco pointed the device at the first cube, which seemed to contain a calm looking Kumate. It was also important to scan and determine what races every being was in case of an aggressive species, you couldn’t just tell by looks alone. 
“Two percent human. Kumate.” 
Marco had a knack for correctly guessing what most beings were after scanning and meeting so many for years. Moving on, Marco scanned the next cube with a bored looking Torino inside. Marco suspected they’d been raided before, it was all part and parcel of running merchandise outside of the Galactic Government’s system. 
“Five percent human. Torino.”
Marco was feeling bored himself as he scanned the next cube. It looked like there was a sweating Three Eye inside, laying on her stomach in the small rectangular prism. Marco considered the female, who was steadfastly avoiding eye contact with him. She was much more agitated than her counterparts, moving about as much as she could within the small container. It was too bad she was a Three Eye – they outwardly looked the most similar to humans but couldn’t be crossbred since the males had three pronged genitalia and the females had a matching vagina. They could only reproduce with each other and weren’t often found without another Three Eye since the race preferred telepathic communication. Curious.
“100 percent human. Human.”  The robotic voice chirped. Marco stopped in place and looked at the scanner. 100 percent? Not possible. After shaking the device, Marco scanned the cube again. The Three Eye inside had gone pale and wasn’t moving around anymore.
“ 100 percent human. Human. ” Now Marco was sure the scanner was broken. He pointed it at himself and activated it, waiting to see if it said he was 100% human too.
“ Eight point five percent human. Phoenix. ” the scanner read out loud. Now Marco’s brow furrowed even more. That was his correct percentage and species, so why was it malfunctioning on the Three Eye? Marco hummed and tapped the top of the containment cube with his finger. It was connected to the controller cuff around his wrist – they’d procured some shipments of the newest cuffs available and Marco hadn’t had time to look through all the features yet. Even so, he could use it for something as simple as containment cubes. The cube hovered and awaited his movements, programmed to follow behind him. Even though Marco had no doubt the issue was a simple scanner malfunction, his blood was pumping with the fantasy that he’d found a human.  
Your POV
You were so fucking screwed.
You’d joined Nacl’s crew precisely because he didn’t look too closely and didn’t ask you any questions beyond if you could lift 50 weight units. You thought you would work with him for a few galactic cycles, make a few credits, and move along to bigger and better things. Namely, getting more resources needed at the Outpost before heading back home. No one had told you to go on this mission, in fact they'd forbidden you from going. So you had commandeered one of the two working space vessels and taken off into the void before anyone could stop you. 
And things had been going great for a while - you learned some of the more recent technological advancements you hadn’t seen on the Outpost, you worked, and you’d even been able to taste something you’d been wanting since childhood - chocolate. You had a few credits to your name and you only had a few more to earn in order to afford the medicine you needed. Then you could head back to the outpost and put this whole stupid misadventure behind you. 
Until the fucking Whitebeard Pirates showed up out of nowhere. 
You weren’t completely unaware, you knew it was a possibility. But you thought it was a possibility in the way that a star exploding was a possibility, or like being sucked into a black hole was a possibility. The Whitebeard Pirates didn’t bother with small fry like Nacl’s ship, or so you thought. They fought the Galactic Government, other Pirates, and generally protected the planets under their control. You thought you would be safe, your identity hidden behind a shoddy Three Eye disguise.
You weren’t.
Not when you saw Marco the Phoenix personally scanning your crew members, the device reading out everyone’s species and hDNA score. He looked similar to his wanted posters but they didn’t do him justice. He was incredibly tall, his bird-like legs ending in sharp talons that clacked against the floor as he walked. He had a rather aquiline face, his mouth almost beak-like. His arms were normal but ended in taloned hands, unlike your own blunt fingers. But his most grabbing feature were his eyes - large teal eyes with a dark ring around them. Even though you didn’t want to attract his attention, you couldn’t stop yourself from staring at their beauty. Eventually you broke your stare and looked back down at your hands.
He was humanoid in this form, but he had others as you’d seen on various video feeds. Marco could also change his anatomy and turn into a full Phoenix, a deadly opponent on the battlefield. The Whitebeard Pirates were a favorite among your crew to watch on vids and you were glad that at least you knew who you were dealing with and how strong they were. 
You’d gone into the containment cube without protest, trying to copy the demeanor of your crew members. The Silk Road didn’t have the same kind of fancy equipment as the pirates did, they only had hover cubes that functioned as basic storage units. Fred the Torino said that they’d been raided before and if there was no fighting they’d be left in one piece. You thought that meant the Whitebeards would free you once they’d finished taking the spices and food the ship had been transporting. You hadn’t expected the First Division Commander Marco to personally be scanning the crew for hDNA percentages. You didn’t even know they had mobile hDNA scanners. 
Technology on Lafftale Outpost was old and outdated, transferred from person to person as the need arose. You weren’t up to date on the most recent technology and it had almost cost you your cover several times. The Silk Road, Nacl’s ship, was a technological wonderment to you and you had to fake understanding of many things before you got the hang of everything.
But now it was all for nothing. This stupid fucking pirate was going to scan you and take you and sell you and you’d have to be a sex pet or breeder for some disgusting jelly alien or a tentacle alien or they’d freeze you to death or serve you only raw food you couldn’t eat and your sister was right you should have listened you-
Ok, you needed to calm down before you hyperventilated. You took a deep breath and held it in your lungs, expelling it slowly. You weren’t completely out of options. You’d just have to wait and plan your escape before they sold you at the nearest slave auction. There were a few escape pods still on the Silk Road, you would need to get to one before they figured out exactly what you were.
Except it looked like he was taking you to their massive ship.
Fuck.
Marco POV
Marco had the containment cube trailing behind him to the next available transport beam, his mind mulling over the facts thus far. The Three Eyes was even more agitated than before, testing the containment unit for any faulty design that would open the hatch and release it. It wasn’t possible but he did give you credit for trying. You still hadn’t spoken to him, which was understandable. He had a fearsome reputation in the galaxy, his bounty in the billions. Many creatures were scared to be in his presence, even though he wasn’t particularly aggressive unless provoked. 
Your agitation steadily increased as he approached the transport beam in the next supply room, your three eyes wide and fearful as you watched cargo being beamed aboard. Thatch was overseeing the taking of the cargo and hailed Marco as he came up. Thatch himself had a high hDNA percentage, a fact he kept carefully hidden. Humans weren’t known for their fighting abilities and he didn’t want to appear weak, especially as a Whitebeard Commander. The rest of his DNA was comprised of a warrior species, complete with scales, forked tongue and muscled tail, but Marco understood why he was one of the few who knew Thatch’s secret. 
“Whatcha got there? A Three Eyes? Cute, but why are you taking her?” he asked, looking you over in the cube. You bristled and tried to hide your face from his perusal. You were cute, Marco thought to himself, but that didn’t have anything to do with it. 
“Abnormality on the scanner. I want to examine her more closely on the ship. Come by after you’ve completed your duties if you’d like,” he said, making sure his tone was casual. Marco did want to talk to Thatch but didn’t want to make his findings known in front of anyone else. Besides, the most likely outcome was that she turned out to be a Three Eyes and Marco sent her on her way with an apology and put in a ticket to have his scanner adjusted. 
The cube trailed behind Marco as he stepped into the beam. The being had all three of her eyes trained on the beam, crouching as far back in her cube as she could, which wasn’t very far. Her face drained of blood and she looked like she was going to scream, though she still hadn’t spoken to him. Strange , Marco thought, transport beams were invented by her race. She should have been well familiar with them. Just one more mystery to solve, he supposed. 
He had the two of you beamed to the port closest to the infirmary, walking briskly after the beaming was completed. You were panting heavily, as if relieved that you’d made it through without disintegrating. Marco’s gut was telling him there was something unusual about you, and he’d been on the Grand Line long enough to trust it. He was going to discover whatever secrets you were hiding.
Entering into his private lab in the infirmary, Marco turned to you as the doors locked behind him automatically with a tiny snick. You were scanning the room, likely looking for an escape route. Marco watched you for a few moments until you realized all his attention was on you. You stilled and licked your lips, watching him closely.
Marco leaned over and tapped the cube with his left hand. It turned vertical so your feet were now by the floor of the lab. A quick tap in succession and the cube’s hatch opened, dropping you to the floor with a small thud. The cube folded itself up until it was the size of his talon and placed itself within the inventory in his controller. You were watching the proceedings like they were magic instead of the commonplace technology available throughout the galaxy. The Three Eyes were technologically advanced, he was certain you would have seen this kind of thing before.
After the cube was gone, your eyes snapped to him, as if you finally realized you were trapped in a room alone with him. Marco nearly smiled, you telegraphed your thoughts and feelings so clearly he didn’t need to be from a telepathic race to understand your next move. Marco leaned against an examination table as you fidgeted in front of him. As a powerful Commander, he was used to making others uncomfortable with his presence alone. He was going to use that to his advantage.
“Why does my scanner show that you’re one hundred percent human?” Marco asked curiously, his eyes roving over your smaller form. 
“It’s broken,” was your quick reply, the sound of your true voice detectable even as your words were translated. Marco’s head tilted slightly – your universal translator was external? He hadn’t seen one of those since he was a child many cycles ago. They’d all been replaced by internal translation units for a long time. External translators were faulty and finicky and internal ones were cheap – why were you using one?
“It functions correctly on your crew mates and myself. So why not on you?” he continued. He stood up, his talons clacking against the metal floor. He advanced towards you, watching your every movement with his sharp eyes. You swallowed and took a step back for each of his steps forward until your back hit the wall. You were fairly short, the top of your head only reaching to the middle of his chest. Not uncommon across the galaxy, but further settling in a suspicion Marco was more seriously considering.
Marco reached for your arm, feeling your wildly racing pulse as he took your slim wrist in his hand. He removed a thin metal bracelet from his controller and Marco snapped it on your wrist before you could react. You licked your lips and stared at it, as if unsure what it was. 
“A few more tests and I’m sure I’ll be sending you back to your crew,” he said quietly, watching you squirm against the wall. He should really have backed up to give you space but something in him liked having you underneath his body, your body heat radiating onto his front. Your scent alone had his cock hardening, you bore a scent that he couldn’t quite place. He wanted to sniff you all over and find the source, lick it off you with his tongue. The smell was yet another abnormality since Three Eyes tended to smell like mold, especially the females. Whatever it was, you were making him harder than he'd been for many cycles.
“Is this mandatory?” you asked, your eyes looking anywhere but his face. Your translator gave your voice a metallic tinge, Marco wondered what you’d sound like without it.
“Yes.”
Your POV
You didn’t know what nearly anything in the room was for nor what any of the tests Marco was running were for. The Silk Road wasn’t very technologically advanced, which was why you were able to covertly learn along the way and fake your way through various tasks until you were proficient. Now you were trapped with Marco, in an examination room, and no closer to getting away from him or the ship. 
You startled as the thin bracelet around your hand chirped twice, a green light flashing. You watched it, trying to make sense of what it was detecting. Marco gently pushed you towards an examination table, needing to pick you up to set you on the high platform. You would have protested but your attention was drawn by the bracelet’s lights changing colors to red.
“Hey, what’s this-  ow!” you yelped a moment later. It had jabbed you quickly with a small needle. Not enough to hurt, but enough that it wasn’t a pleasant surprise. Marco barely gave you a glance as he looked down at his data pad. His was fancier than any you’d seen before but that didn’t mean much. His eyes were practically glued to the information it was spitting out even though his stance was still the same. You tried discreetly pushing the bracelet off your wrist but it tightened as you tried to get it over your thumb joint.
“It stays on. Measures your vitals, blood flow, oxygen saturation, things like that,” Marco explained absently, scrolling through the information with a taloned finger. He finished reading and looked at you, as if seeing you anew. 
“Lean back against the chair,” Marco ordered, placing his data pad on a nearby counter. You eyed the door but decided against making a break for it. He hadn’t directly said anything about you being a human or reacted in any way towards the test results. Maybe he didn’t know? Maybe the tests weren’t identifying you since humans were de facto extinct? Either way, he was much stronger than you and if all he wanted was you to lean back, it wasn’t so bad. You’d comply for now until you saw an opening to get away. 
The bench shifted before your eyes. Instead of being a bench it was now a stylized chair, almost like a dentist’s chair you’d seen once in an old human book. You put your arms on the armrests and settled your legs down, trying to calm your racing heart with a deep breath.
Until ionic cuffs bound you to the chair.
The red forcefields seemed to come out of the air itself, binding your wrists and ankles to the chair. You struggled, bowing your middle outwards in an effort to get away. Marco frowned and tapped the control panel on his data pad. Ionic bonds wrapped around your midsection, neck, elbows and knees, pulling you flush against the chair. You were completely trapped. 
“Let me go!” you yelled as the bottom half of the chair split. Your legs were now separated from one another, every part of your body immobilized by the bonds. Marco came closer to you, his taloned hand reaching for your head. You shrank back, you definitely knew what was coming next. You regretted yelling, and bit your lip to stop from crying out when he hit you. Marco’s frown deepened. 
Marco POV
Marco’s eyes kept rereading the reports as the data came from the creature’s blood. The results were conclusive.
You were human.
A fully, completely, one hundred percent human female.
Marco kept his features and body language the same as his mind raced with the information but he couldn’t keep his thoughts from straying with every errant thought that came to mind. There was so much he needed to do, so much he needed to prepare for you. The fact that he had a human, a female human in breeding range, was monumental. He’d have to tell Pops of course, right away. It would shake the New World galaxy once the news spread that Whitebeard had a human female. He’d keep it quiet for as long as he could but there was no way a finding of this magnitude would remain secret for long.
But beyond telling his Captain, Marco's mind started to race with the amount of supplies you needed.  There were so many things that humans needed for survival, he’d have to get you new clothes, he’d have to get Thatch to make you special food, he’d have to have an enclosure made for you, get special lights,…Marco quickly tapped out a list of items he’d need and orders he would need to give after he talked to Pops.
You were still struggling against the bonds of the inspection chair, but Marco wasn’t worried. That chair had held Fire Fist when he first joined the Whitebeard Pirates and he had incredibly strong pyro-enhancements. You were weak, not able to break through the thin clinical cuff he put on you earlier, much less the inspection chair. You were trying desperately to get away like an animal in a trap. Marco felt so much pity for you and even reached over to pat your head, a gesture humans enjoyed.
He wanted to reassure you that you didn’t need to be worried anymore, you had him. And Marco knew exactly how to take care of you. He just had to acclimate you to your new circumstances and have you accept him as your Master. Humans needed one creature to listen to as an ultimate authority and they often clung to the first kind being they encountered. Humans needed someone to firmly guide them, to provide boundaries, rules, tender care, and sufficient sexual outlets. You would come to understand that he was going to help you, that you needed someone to watch over you. Humans weren’t the kind of creatures that could be left to their own devices. You were lost in the galaxy, a creature that needed tending and someone to care for them. 
It wasn’t purely selfish that Marco wanted to become your master. Humans were social creatures, they needed a master otherwise they became despondent and listless. In your case, that would be Marco, and he’d happily take on that role. You were lucky that Marco had been the one to find you. Marco was stern but fair, part of an incredibly strong crew, and most importantly, knew a lot about humans. 
Which raised another question - where had you come from? Why had you been pretending to be a Three Eyes on a small merchant vessel? Marco quickly tapped out a message to Thatch, asking him to grab all your belongings off the other ship. They might hold clues as to your origins or perhaps contain a comfort item or two. Humans were an emotional and sentimental species and often clung to various inanimate objects during times of duress. He didn't intend to upset you but based on your reaction, he surmised you might be unhappy with his treatment of you thus far.
“Let me go!” you squeaked at him, trying to escape your bonds. Oh right, the translator. The old one was likely causing you pain or headaches in addition to being outdated. That had to go, he’d replace it with a new model soon.
Your eyes were wild as Marco reached behind your head to turn off your translator. Poor little human, so frail and afraid. Your shoulders hiked and your eyes scrunched shut, as if awaiting a blow from him. Marco frowned, he didn’t like that you had a defensive response. Where had you learned that? Who had struck you before? Were you escaping from another master? The thought of someone hurting you, a defenseless and weak human, had him clenching his fist. Calming his mind, he reminded himself that you were now his, and you’d never have to deal with such things again. He’d keep you safe from anything in the universe.
Marco’s fingers bent your ear forward to see the external translator. The site it was implanted in was red and bothered, whoever had done it wasn’t a professional. He would have to ensure you weren’t getting some kind of infection from it; the very thought of you being in pain upset him. He hummed in thought as his fingers adjusted the external box. Now it was only receiving communications but wouldn’t be able to transmit them, so you’d be able to understand him even if he couldn’t understand you. 
He would replace it eventually but truthfully he also wanted to capture some of your human language. There hadn’t been many recordings made of humans speaking to one another in their own language, so recording the words you used might prove scientifically helpful at some point in the future. In his heart, he also wanted to hear what your little voice sounded like without being translated. His memory of the human mating vids was crystal clear. Would you make noises like that?
“Don’t worry, little human. I will take excellent care of you,” he said, trying to approximate a human smile with his mouth. His species was not in the habit of smiling but he tried his best to make you feel at ease. Apparently that was not the thing to do because he got an alert that your heart rate was spiking beyond normal range. 
“Calm down. I will not harm you,” Marco said decisively. Your heart rate did not change and in fact became faster. Marco belatedly remembered that humans were notoriously bad at controlling their body functions, not even being able to modulate their body temperature, heart rate, or blood flow. No wonder your species had died out. You were squeaking rapidly to him but he didn’t understand what you were saying. He was right to turn off your translator, your voice was melodic and sweet to his ear. He couldn’t wait to inspect you and see if humans really produced all the sounds he’d seen on videos.
“I will replace your translator soon. It is causing you pain and is outdated. In the meantime, I cannot understand you,” Marco said, gently grabbing your jaw. You tried quickly turning your head to knock off his hand, but your efforts were futile. He wanted to hold you, so he would. You would come to understand that his desires were commands, not suggestions. As he held your small face, he ran a thumb over your cheek. Your skin was so soft, he’d never felt anything so smooth in his life. He wanted to run his fingers over every part of you, see if the rumors about human epidermis were true. But for now he would touch you as much as possible to acclimate you to his touch. 
“I am going to examine you and determine your level of health and sexual compatibility. Afterwards, I will contact my Captain and inform him of your existence. He will let us know further steps. Be assured little pet, I will not let anyone take you from me,” he said, watching you with unblinking eyes. You shrank back as much as you could within the confines of the bonds.
“I am your new Master. My name is Marco and I am the physician and Commander of the First Division of the Whitebeard Pirates. You are mine.”
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umblrspectrum · 1 year ago
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hi heres art so you pay attention to me now go read the tags
#ive been rewatching episode 7 like its the only thing on youtube and made note of many things#first off. the solver can only have one host. nori mentions skyn wants to kill off all the other solver hosts (with the dds) and disregards#the idea of both uzi and doll being its current host when they get chased#plus the main solver possessions only occur when skyn is out of the picture (the fightt in ep 7 is only after n decapitates “tessa”)#solver uzi is possible too but i dont count her cause she doesn't have the yellow#personal theory is that its more an instinctual response to overheating or something and not full on possession#second off nori calls the solver cyn. how does she know that name#cyn was on earth and only showed up to copper 9 recently and i presume nori's been here her whole life#it probably wasn't the other dds cause none of them made it down and they're all more savage beasts#since cyn specifies n's team retained their personalities and that makes me think the other teams didnt#also also we should've immediately questioned tessa arriving in the same type of pod as the mds when they were revealed to not be sent by j#im running out of characters also the people who dont like when i use tags like this can bite me#murder drones#murder drones nori#artori? that sounds cool#ill probably just stick with nori though#i have so many solver heart refs now#art#episode 7#murder drones episode 7#murder drones episode 7 spoilers#using the same black for shadows as my lineart doesn't work when i have to draw thin things over it#murder drones spoilers
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