#doing the whole process without sharing it on here was weirdly hard?

[princesssarcastia]

ALRIGHT NERDS it's reveal time. here's the fic i wrote for the rare pair exchange, the very first fic exchange i've ever participated in. it is the second-longest thing i've ever written and published for fandom, which is crazy.

Fandom: Mission: Impossible

Word count: 14,491

Pairing: Ilsa Faust/Ethan Hunt/William Brandt

SUMMARY:

Ilsa "dies" and has to find a place to lay low, outside of the narrative. There, she finds Will. He's spent years trying to make a home there, unsuccessfully—until now. Meanwhile, with the ever-watchful eyes of the Entity trained on him, Ethan pines desperately, wordlessly, so hard he might as well put down roots and call himself an evergreen.

Written for the lovely and prolific @brendaonao3; i DID geek out a little when i got the assignment, ngl. big fan of your top gun stuff!

[suguru-getos]

soft yandere satoru hcs:

a/n: hey, you guys should know i ship myself with him so there's no way i'd tolerate insane yandere satoru without ki!ling myself :P soooo- here's me making him a soft yan ^^

warnings: yandere behavior, mentions of arranged marriage troupe, stalkingtroupe, angry!sato ofc but he is still normal about it. mentions of fluff because it's satoru duh <33 also, this is one of the softest yandere hcs i've ever written *giggles*

yandere!satoru who saw you the first time in a jujutsu clan party hosted by your parents and how insignificant you truly were. to yourself, you had the best parents ever, they didn't push you into becoming a sorcerer, but to the kamo, zenin, and gojo clan members it was pure bullshit. wastage of proper sorcerer blood.

until yandere satoru met you for the first time and you hung out, the way he conversed was so different from someone who should be the strongest, someone who wields the highest powers in the whole world. someone who's birth shook the shackles of this world alone. he was kind, he sat next to you, non-judgemental even so he was weirdly wearing that damned blindfold.

he talked to you about your life, and about his own. pointing out the subtle and the not so subtle differences between the both of you. asking if you had a boyfriend. it was so subtle how could you think he had any other intention but to be your friend? naive and stupid.

things escalated real quickly when your mother told you that you were supposed to marry satoru gojo, oh my god- the clan head of the gojo clan, the ever so spoiled, esteemed entitled brat. you really couldn't say anything about this, but to hold your guns you decided to contact him. "you knew that this was happening?" you mumbled, watching him stir the coffee in front of you lazily. "of course, gosh you are so lucky little one!" he snickered, though the way he looks at you, it's hard to process what he's truly feeling inside. you are unaware of his stalking, how he knows your colleagues, how they are what they do, what they eat, how they breathe, to whom you are closer to, who likes you- what time do you get up, eat, what snack do you like, ghana roasted coffees over normal ones. though he would not admit to it.

there are a few times he has watched you sleep like a creep, just sitting next to you, just feeling the innate feeling of sharing the same bed as you. how cute you are, he often mumbles to himself. "i could crush you without even trying" as a musing criteria for how naive you are, how cute you are and how absolutely adorable you are. creepy-

to pretend that he is more than willing to let you take things your own way, he lets you plan dates. cute, adorable dates. one of the days you would be doing pottery with him, the other time it's an aquarium date where satoru doesn't know why you're so mesmerised when the real awe is you, the other time it was a planeterium and that's when satoru shows you his abilities for the first time, holding you closer to him like the princess you are and walking on sky, as if it's nothing, amid the full moon night. the other time it's you and him making tiaras in a garden, sometimes he would just randomly pull you closer, kissing your cheek while languishing in a movie together. so cute, so astonishingly cute! maybe marrying him is not a bad idea???

things show you their true form when you were on a date in a high-end restaurant, roof-top and fully booked. he's always been so cute with you, you had opened up and been comfortable enough. until a waiter decided to hit on you, before long- you found him choking on his own blood, despicable sight of him oozing out blood from his eyes, coughing and dying in front of you. "wh- what was that?" when you glance at satoru, he is emphasising the same lazy grin, smirking. "what. go on? smile back!" he muses, and when you're a teary-eyed mess, he presents himself with a carefully painted visage of guilt. "oh no no- baby i'm so sorry- i lost it, you make me lose it! i love you so much please no!"

would not let you have personal space after, forcing your parents to hasten the whole marriage thingy, he thinks you would leave him and that has him acting out of character. though he now knows fear is a powerful tool, even though he does not want to use it on his darling. sometimes he can't help it, especially when you act so fucking adamant and so fucking stubborn!!

"listen, princess, here's what's going to happen. daddy's going to be really cooperative if you come here and give him a hug, daddy does not want to be a meanie to his little girl. you know that right?" by being a 'meanie' he just means getting angry, manhandling you against the wall, seething in rage and bubbling hot with the insecurity of your behavior being the slightest of different.

the thing is satoru really, really loves you. the prospect of being a yandere is more 'dere' in him. however when the yandere shows? that's when you should truly fear the capabilities of this man. satoru hates this but he can sometimes use your triggers against you. don't like being tied up, maybe an empty threat would get you in line, after all, you refuse to listen when he wants to love you!

he's going to make sure your engagement ring has a location curse imbued into it, he wants to know 24x7 where his baby is. one time you lied to him that you are at work when you were actually in a colleague's party, you were greeted by the whole party avenue being destroyed to shreds, people bruised and only you knew it was your now husband, because he texted. 'infinity protects you princess, not others. next time think twice about lying to daddy.'

his behavior can get hot and cold instantly, one moment he is the most adorable man-child, loving you, playing with you... until he's ticked off and the real, no-nonsense monster comes out to meet you. a scathing frown with glowy eyes as he reminds you that you belong to the 'strongest'.

there are times he does use sex as a weapon, a weapon to make you give in. he is just so good at it, he is going to spoil you senseless, kissing every square inch of your body, worshipping you, crying with you when he mumbles apologies for being angry and mean at you, for scaring you, you don't deserve it, such a pretty baby, oh you take him so well. he was made for you, you are the strongest because you have him wrapped around your pinkie... only to show you the rage and insecurity and all of it when you come home late.

the only positivity you have, is he would rather kill himself than hurt you. that brings you peace, that brings a sense of stability and sensibility into you to hang onto the rope of your relationship a bit longer, clutching onto the fleeting hope of him changing...

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

Do you ever struggle not sharing details of your story / spoiling people? It's one of the hardest parts of writing for me! I always want to just divulge all of my ideas immediately!

The answer, weirdly enough... is no!

And a part of that is definitely due to me being a giant, secret-hoarding dragon in disguise. But another part of that is the fact that I largely suspect that...

Keeping secrets and avoiding spoilers is the reason this comic is still alive and updating.

Now, that may sound odd. Why would keeping secrets help me post? Sharing work is kind of the life-blood of a lot of creative endeavors. Storytelling is an inherently social activity. All humans, even the most introverted ones, thrive on peer recognition and feedback.

But over the years, I've come to realize something about myself. And this realization may be mostly stemming from me, but I suspect it's actually a pretty common factor for other creatives as well. So maybe I should talk about it (again).

Let me introduce you to something I call...

The Emperor's New Accomplishment.

Here's the thing. I'm an extremely introverted, non-social person. I can go for months without talking to friends easily, even if I love them a whole lot. That all being said, I'm still a human being, and my brain derives happy-social-animal chemicals from being recognized as A Person With Traits. Humans are built that way! We can't avoid it.

So what you gotta understand is - at all times, our brain is seeking social/peer recognition like it seeks out high-calorie foods. And it (largely) does not care what we have to do to get it.

Herein lies the problem.

Usually, creating stuff and thinking about stories and then sharing what we wrote with friends is a great way to get that happy chemical.

But it's time consuming. And difficult. And there's a shortcut.

What we seek when we create Scenarios and Characters and Conflicts is not hard work toiling away writing/drawing/constructing stuff. Many artists actively enjoy this process, but it's grueling.

And just telling our friends about our ideas actually accomplishes the end goal, as far as our brain is concerned! We made up ideas! We told people about it! We got the Good Feelings!

So when I tell people about my Plans to Write A Comic or Ideas To Make a Story, what I'm actually doing is tricking my brain into thinking 'wow, this feels great! We have accomplished the task we set out to do! No more effort necessary!'

And that motivation to actually draw/write/create?

It goes directly into the trashcan.

Now I'm not saying this to suggest people who do this/fall prey to this are lazy. They're not!

But our brains are. They're lazy, and they want to save energy. And they don't care if you WANTED to actually make the story. They will gladly rip the Motivation energy out of our grubby little hands when they no longer deem it necessary to the process.

So - why do I keep so many secrets? How do I stop myself from talking about what happens next in the story?

I'm doing it to keep my actual comic alive.

Disclaimer: Not everyone functions like this, obviously. Everyone has a different creative process. But this is how I've realized MY brain works, so I now take steps to trick my brain back into working. Ha! Take that, brain! Two can play at this--waitaminute.

[dulcetpill]

post-canon musings

When I see people talk about how Juwon may not move to Manyang for several more years after the already-long-enough year of epilogue yearning... It simply breaks my heart. Both Dongsik and Juwon were so miserable and ultimately lonely (even though it were two different kinds of “lonely”) for twenty (20) years already, why must they suffer any longer? It feels so cruel to prolong it more than strictly necessary.

I think it was relatively easy for them to go a whole year without each other—technically, they’ve been doing that for twenty years prior. They had a lot to work through. Closing the case, all the trials... Dongsik finally finding closure, finding peace... and finding emptiness. Akin to a feeling after you finish a book. A long, long terrible, gut-wrenching read that you desperately want to end, but when it is finally over, you don’t know what to do with yourself. It’s been so long... Healing can be not only a painful process, but a confusing one. Much to do, much to think about—especially about what to do. Is Dongsik allowed to work in police while he’s on probation... or ever? Does he want to? What does he want now? Should he want it? Should he have it? Does he deserve to have it? Such thoughts plague his mind. He cleans his house. Replants the garden. Sleeps in his bed. He can finally enter Yuyeon’s room feeling not a gut-piercing pain and dread and hope and pain, but a bittersweet sadness. He doesn’t get rid of her belongings, but he cleans the room. It’s easier to breathe now.

Dongsik goes to Jaeyi’s shop and helps her renovate it. For so long she dreamt of leaving it behind, the hope of her mother returning keeping her bound to it, preserving this little miserable place as it was, as if nothing should be changed... only to realize that she doesn’t really want to leave, doesn’t have to, but a little change is good, actually. So she redecorates. Dongsik smiles at her when Jaeyi tells him her idea. She smiles back. They understand each other.

A year of longing isn’t that hard when you’re busy. And Juwon is busy. With transferring to a new substation, acclimating to the new surroundings, new coworkers, new restaurants and a new house. He does move out from his apartment in Seoul, and his new place is... decent. It doesn’t really matter. It’s just a place. There’s a butcher shop in town—but no one gathers here after hours to share rumours, drinks and their hearts’ warmth. It’s just a place.

His coworkers don’t look weird at him. When he just transferred, they complimented him on cracking that case. They tried not to talk about his father—but they said Juwon’s dedication to law and justice is remarkable. Juwon doesn’t know how to feel.

He gets more comfortable footwear, ready for a sudden call even on his days off. He takes calls on his personal phone. He says it’s his duty. He feels good about it. He tries not to think why he also feels guilty—and still unfulfilled. He doesn’t answer Oh Jihwa’s texts. He doesn’t text Dongsik—who once texted him asking about how he’s doing in the new place. Why is he asking Juwon that? How can he possibly worry for him—after, after everything? His father’s trials still aren’t over. Juwon wanted to fall from grace, go to hell, destroy his own life, yet people from Manyang are still reaching out to him. For him. He doesn’t deserve it, whatever this “it” actually is. Calls from Manyang are so alluring, like siren’s calls. He must withstand. Must be rational. (This rationality comes with a dull ache.)

When he receives Jihwa’s text on February, 5th, a guilt collides with a guilt, leaving only duty. To mourn chief Nam Sangbae, to pay respects. He was thinking of him anyway—it wasn’t exactly a coincidence that he chose to visit his mother’s grave on this day. So he comes to Manyang’s Butcher Shop, where not-so-weirdly friendly people are already gathered. Jaeyi welcomes him, her tone full of awkward teasing bitterness, as if he was a friend who left without a goodbye and never called in a whole year. Was he... supposed to? He anxiously looks past her, trying to see who’s gathered in the shop, if... But Dongsik is the last one to come, he’s right behind Juwon, and he looks well, and that’s—that’s good. Good. It’s good to see him, to know he’s alright. It’s hard to look away, and yet somehow shameful and painful to stare too long, as if simply seeing Lee Dongsik is a guilty pleasure, one that he mustn’t indulge too much.

They sit around the table, all smiles and elbows in each others’ sides. Han Juwon feels awkward. He feels... shy? He feels warm, even though it’s February. He likes the food, he genuinely does. He can’t stop staring at Dongsik, no, of course he’s looking at him—they’re talking, that’s normal,—and Dongsik, too, is looking, and that’s obvious, but—

Juwon’s heartbeat is stable, but a little too intense. He doesn’t feel like this when he’s anxiously looking around in the mountains for a lost person. This intensity isn’t scary, yet it scares him nonetheless.

When they’re alone on the bridge, Dongsik’s teasing is so gentle Juwon vaguely thinks of just falling down to his knees and begging for forgiveness—in the middle of the day, their... their people walking just below there. Because Dongsik looks warm, he looks healthy, he looks... shy? He looks hurt, underneath it all, and the thought of that makes Juwon’s insides twist. Dongsik shouldn’t look hurt of any kind now—or ever, for that matter. But Juwon has to go, he can’t just stare or run back to Dongsik for real��to fall down to his knees, to cry in his hands, to... to hug him? How does one simply hug someone? Juwon can’t hold back a smile, but he barely manages to hold back tea—

It’s two month since their conversation on the bridge (that they haven’t crossed yet, what with Juwon running away to do good things, and Dongsik staying in the middle, waiting for Juwon to return to him—perhaps some other time, but definitely return.) Juwon is busy, that is all. And, well, he can’t just randomly go to Manyang for no good reason, can he? He visits his mother’s grave again—it’s the anniversary of her death, after all—and he just happens to be nearby... He almost halfheartedly hopes no one is actually there—of course they are. It’s Sunday. Dongsik and Oh Jihun are having lunch, while Jaeyi is serving a customer.

Jihun is the first one to notice him, and after a second of disbelief he lights up with a wide smile, waving to Juwon to come in (he’s so exited he almost chokes on his food.) Dongsik curiously turns around and does choke on his food. He looks flabbergasted, as if seeing Han Juwon in the flesh after two months was somehow weirder than seeing him after a whole year of no contact. Juwon awkwardly stands beside their table: “I was around...”

“How sweet of you,” sneers Jaeyi, pushing a chair to his legs.

“It’s strange to see just the two... three of you,” confesses Juwon, because it’s true.

Dongsik gives him one of his cheeky grins.

“It’s barely past 1 p.m. on Sunday, you’re lucky you’ve met us here at all, Inspector Han. It’s just this guy here lost a bet and now owns me a meal of my choice,” he points at Jihun, who immediately crosses his arms in partially pretense annoyance.

“Yeah, and of course you chose Jaeyi’s best meat! Didn’t even hesitate!”

“Would have you preferred a date in Busan’s loveliest noodle restaurant?” Dongsik’s smile widens at Jihun’s pained face. “So you really are lucky, Inspector Han. Unless you actually wanted to find our Jaeyi alone, of course.”

Juwon frowns in confusion: “No, why—”

He’s cut off by Jaeyi’s snort. “Yeah, no,” she looks at Juwon, very pointedly barely suppressing an eye-roll, and shakes her head. “Aww, saying that just because you’re so happy to see him,” she smiles at Dongsik. “Han Juwon, you should come more often. It makes Lee Dongsik funny.”

“I’m always funny,” Dongsik says, a cute expression on his face, but he warily squints at Jaeyi. She squints back, eyebrows raised, and it’s as if they’re holding a private conversation on a matter discussed not so long ago. Jihun, cheerfully unaware of the eye-talking right in front of him, smiles at Juwon:

“It’s not just Dongsik who’s happy you’re here! All of us are! So do come more often!”

Juwon, his mind still filled with “Lee Dongsik... happy”, asks in quiet disbelief: “You’re... happy I’m here?”

The three of them look at him, Jaeyi with annoyed pity, Dongsik with sadness���even though he’s still smiling, Jihun with his own sort of confusion.

“Well, of course?.. I mean, I can’t speak for everyone everyone, and “happy” is a pretty strong word, but...” at this, Jaeyi interrupts him, once again pushing a chair against Juwon’s knees, forcibly making him sit.

“Whatever you think or want to think, there are people who do care, and seeing you alive and in good health right before their eyes makes them feel better.” She puts an empty plate for him and disappears to the backroom.

Juwon turns to Dongsik, a quiet question stuck on his tongue: “Are you happy to see me? Do you want to see me? Does seeing me make you feel better?”, but Dongsik smiles and, throwing a wink at Jihun, mischievously not-whispers, “Eat up. Jihun’s paying for everything.”

So Juwon eats, hiding a small smile in a bite of freshly cooked meat.

“Come more often” means Juwon comes to Manyang a whole month later. He’s busy. It’s Friday, and when he enters the shop it’s already past 23. Everyone is a little tipsy, so they only cheer and graciously ask him to join them. Just a half-an-hour later they start to disperse, but coming here strangely doesn’t feel like a waste of time. Juwon walks Dongsik home, and they don’t even really talk. It’s pleasant. Dongsik awkwardly pats him on the arm, wishes him a safe ride home, and disappears into the darkness of his house.

The touch burns for three more weeks. Juwon gets in his car and goes to Manyang right after work, already have taken a shower and wearing fresh clothes. He always takes an additional set of clothes with him to work, in case he gets sweaty or dirty on the job. It’s not that weird or special. He’s not in a hurry. He just likes long car rides.

Next time is two weeks later. The past few day have ended up being quite stressful for Juwon, and sitting alone at home is somehow uncomfortable, uneasy. Itching. He could’ve made himself a drink and tried to go to bed early, but his mind is filled with smiles and the vague sound of meat being cooked, and the mere thought of sleeping feels like drowning. So he goes to Manyang.

After that it’s just one week. Jihwa, eyebrows raised and all, tells him to just move to Manyang. Her tone is slightly ironic, but the glint in her eyes isn’t mocking. Everyone snorts at the suggestion, and Juwon, feeling blood rushing to his face, says, “Who knows. Maybe that’s exactly what I’ll do.”

At that, Dongsik gently laughs: “Please do, Inspector Han, please do. Our little town is not the same without your handsome face around.”

Juwon cocks an eyebrow and smiles at him. “I thought as much.” The room feels hot for the rest of the night.

He skips a week. Because he’s busy. He can’t help but let out a shaky sigh/laugh when later that night he receives a text from Jihwa, asking if he’s alright. He actually replies. Yes, he’s alright. It’s not like he promised to come weekly now.

He comes weekly.

By the end of August coming every Friday to Manyang feels less like a gracious ritual or a spontaneous whim, and more like going home. It’s weird, because he never stays the night, never spends the weekend there. It’s just a few hours of people and food and a feeling of belonging. It’s new and rather painful, and he tries to shake it off, but in the end it just makes the ache worse.

When he comes on the last Friday of August, it’s raining, and the only person at the shop is Jaeyi, preparing meat and very obviously intending to soon leave for the day. Juwon sits in his car for a second, a feeling of disappointment slowly creeping in his body. When he takes his umbrella and gets out of the car, Jaeyi notices him and waves, inviting him into the shop.

“I can’t imagine you’re here to gallantly give me a ride to spare me getting drenched while walking in this pouring rain, so I can only assume no one told you about the change in the plans,” she squints her eyes at him, but the tone of her voice is friendly. At his confused look she only sighs. “Thought so.”

“Dongsik got himself a cast today—don’t look alarmed, nothing’s broken—he literally slipped on some garbage on his way to a store, that idiot,” Jaeyi snorts and sighs again. “And now he can’t exactly go outside of his own house, you know, certainly not in this weather. So, a change of location has happened.”

“Then, you’re gathering at Lee Dongsik’s house?”

“We’re gathering, but yeah,” she pushes several stacked plastic containers in his hands. “Can you get this to the car? I need to close the shop.”

Dongsik’s house is bright. And loud. And smells of something delicious being cooked. Jihwa is comfortably seated in a chair, and her posture is so uncharacteristically domestic, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world to assume a pose of a pretzel when one’s in Lee Dongsik’s house,—Juwon almost thinks he hallucinates. Im Seonnyeo is looking through the CDs on the console table, and the music is already on. Kang Dosu’s voice is heard from the kitchen, the man not visible in the suspicious cloud of smoke slipping into the living room. Dongsik himself half-lays on the couch, engaging in a quiet conversation with Jihwa. He looks at Juwon and Jaeyi and beams.

At the same time, Jihun strolls out from somewhere holding a tray of snacks, and he too grins widely at them. He turns to Dongsik, “I think Dosu’s trying to burn down your kitchen,” he says while still smiling. “And it doesn’t look like we can stop him.”

“Well, I sure can,” sighs Jaeyi, power-walking around the couch towards the sound of Dosu’s panicked cries. Seonnyeo giggles and joins after her.

Dongsik makes a dramatic face as if terrified at the implication of his house burning, but then calls out to Juwon and cheekily pats the seat beside him. Juwon sits. It’s weird. The last time he was in this house, it was cold, dark and miserable—it was a place where life should be, but wasn’t. Even the basement felt more homey, not that Juwon had much experience with the concept. But now... but now the house is so warm. Not in a it’s-august-so-of-course-it’s-hot way, but simply pleasant. And Dongsik looks so pleased, as if he didn’t go through something mildly (physically) traumatic today, as if his day couldn’t be ruined by the cast on his leg or the rain or the potential Dosu-induced house burning. He is smiling, content and comfortable, and Juwon is mesmerized.

Twenty minutes later and a few snacks thrown around by way-too-old-for-these-types-of-games siblings they all move to the tiny kitchen, lured in by the smell of the pretty decent looking, seemingly non-burnt meal. They sit around a small, miraculously fitted technically-inside-the-kitchen table, even though, Juwon guesses, there’s definitely a perfectly functional dining room in the house. Conversations come and go, and very soon someone makes tea. Jihun gracefully tries to grab 7 cups at once, and is saved by Dongsik who takes them one by one from his hands and puts them on the table. Juwon gets an enormous white mug with a clearly handmade feeling to it. It has shaky wildflowers drawn on it and certainly-handwritten words “Best Brother In The World.” It’s amateurishly cute, and the mug looks well-loved. Juwon stares at it, and Dongsik smiles, gently scratching at the ceramic of the mug. “Oooh, this one is Yuyeon’s present for my fifteen’s birthday, I think. She was very into acrylics that year, even though she kinda sucked at it,” he points at Jihwa: “Everyone got their own mug. And Jihwa broke hers, like, two month after. Cried like a baby.”

“I did not cry,” Jihwa snorts. “I do not cry.”

“You did. Couldn’t even look Yuyeon in the face for a week, you felt so guilty,” he shakes his head and grins, pouring tea into the mug. Jihwa huffs, but doesn’t argue. A sad smile lingers on her lips.

“Do you... want the mug?” Juwon asks, barely touching its awkward patterns with his fingertips.

“Nah, it’s fine. Jihun will whine if I use anything but this monstrosity anyway,” Dongsik waves in reassurance, and Juwon stares at the cup before him. It’s... really something. Weirdly shaped, yet certainly not handmade, with a curious pop-culture print. Surely a reference to an inside joke of theirs.

“I don’t whine!” whines Jihun and throws a cookie at Dongsik, who moves out of its way, and the cookie, making an awkward landing at the edge of the table, falls right into Juwon’s lap. Juwon looks down, more confused than uncomfortable. Dongsik looks down too and simply reaches to carefully take the cookie and shake off the crumbs from Juwon’s legs with his hand. “Well, looks still edible to me,” he concludes and shoves the whole cookie into his mouth, a teasing glint to his eyes. Juwon doesn’t even hear the ugly snorting everyone around them makes.

It’s already past midnight when everyone starts to lazily gather their things to go home. Juwon is still holding onto his mug, cherishing its last droplets of warmth. He isn’t tired, yet feels oddly sleepy, as if lulled by the friendly whispers of the Lee house. It’s nice. Suddenly the thought of getting out of the house into the spitting rain, getting into the car, driving into the night, getting into his apartment, coolly and lonely, still empty... suddenly this thought is the most unappealing thought ever. His apartment feels like a place. This house feels like home. And suddenly Juwon doesn’t want to go. He stares at the decorated walls, soaking in every detail of well-used, worn-out drawers and bookshelves of the living room. He nods his goodbyes, but he isn’t making a beeline to the front door himself. He feels like a spoiled 8-year-old kid in a store who doesn’t want to leave without taking half of the store with him. This feeling annoys Juwon, and he sighs. For a moment, he lets himself imagine living in this house—no, in a house like this. Warm, bright and welcoming. Where everyone acts like they own the place, without looking arrogant or rude. Where someone smiles at him so, so gently, as if he means it. As if he doesn’t mind... Juwon wants to stay.

“Stay.”

Juwon slowly turns around. Dongsik is yawning, crookedly leaning on the wall, his leg cast covered in doodles left by the others. Dongsik smiles-pouts and says in a quiet, soft voice:

“I know you always go back, and I know you didn’t drink because of that, but you look like you really need a nap. Probably not the best idea to drive right now, especially in this weather. So, stay,” then after a second, he adds: “But only if you want to, of course. Wouldn’t want to pressure. And I do have a spare bed, with clean sheets and everything, so unless you can sleep only in your own very specific bed—”

“I do,” Juwon simply says. “Want to stay, I mean.”

Dongsik beams at that, awkwardly separating himself from the wall.

“Oh, that’s good then,” he says, smiling somewhat through Juwon, as if this whole situation is actually embarrassing for him. “Should I show you around the house? I assume you’re already quite familiar with the floor-plan, yet you’re still haven’t paid up your rent... Should I charge you for today?”

He says that looking Juwon directly in the eye, in such a classic Dongsik way, it almost makes Juwon giddy.

“If I like the bed, I might start paying,” he smiles.

In October Juwon talks about transferring. (His coworkers seem genuinely heartbroken by the news. It’s nice, in a way.)

By the end of December he realizes that it’s going to be a very first New Year he spends with his family.

[interact-if]

Day 5 of the interviews! let’s give it up for Ligia! :chinhands:

Ligia, author of Love the Guard, Be the King

Latino Heritage Month Featured Author

Mathias' heart has been bleeding since his father, the former King, decided to punish you for his mistakes. As the youngest child of a lesser bourgeois, you were raised in the castle, between the King’s cruelty, the Queen’s friendship, and  Mathias’s kindness (or supposed kindness?).

Now, more than twenty Carnivals since your arrival, the King is dead and the Queen’s sickness  worsens each day. As the azure taint spreads in the kingdom and the Opalean Wars come to an end, it’s Mathias’s time to sit on the throne.

Will the docile Prince become a kind King, a violent Monarch, or a ruthless Tyrant? Will you have any say in it? And how much will your relationship change?

Love the Guard, Be the King Demo | Author’s Kofi | Read more [here]

Tags: historical, romance

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT)

Q1: So, tell us a little bit about the projects you’re working on!

With pleasure! Right now, I’m working on three main projects. My personal Visual Novel project, “Love the Guard, Be the King,” a second Visual Novel I’ve been secretly working on with a good friend for the past 10 months or so, and I also have an ongoing book series about hot, quirky supervillains—but I’ll focus only on the first two cause that’s what we’re here for, right? Hahaha.

LtGBtK is a really intimist experience, focused more on the MC’s and RO’s character arcs and how we can change depending on our experiences and how we feel about them. The entire plot happens in only four days, but it takes into account almost 30 years of history—basically Mathias’s (the only RO) entire life!

“Crystal Library” has mystery, romance, magic, 6 ROs, and a ton of memorable scenes already. I’m working on the graphics and the programming for this one, while Coco Nichole (@dreamybard), one of my favorite writers ever, is the brilliant mind behind the plot and all of CL’s characters! I can’t wait to share this one with you all. Romance is optional in both. :)

Q2: What excites you most about using interactive fiction? What are some of the biggest challenges?

What I LOVE and FEAR about all types of interactive fiction is how it invites players to, on a much deeper level, be part of the narrative. When reading books, we all work hard to translate beautiful sentences and scenes into images in your head. We interact with it, yes, but when playing IFs, we also explore the narrative in a different way; we have so much more agency over what happens! We sometimes have different paths to choose from, beautiful illustrations to unlock, or character traits that change depending on our choices… it’s amazing, and, IMO, it’s a very unique way to experience narratives.

But it’s also very complex, very demanding, and it can easily get out of hand if you give the players too many options/branches to follow, mainly when working with small teams or, in my case for LtGBtK, alone. *takes a deep breath* I just hope I’m doing a good job. .-.

Q3: What has been something in your project you’ve had to do a weird amount of research for?

Besides programming lol basically everything. For LtGBtK, I’m trying to create this weird fantasy with a modern-medieval society (?), so I’m constantly researching medieval customs, traditions, tools, and weirdly specific stuff like socks. Did people wear socks in the medieval era? What were their playing cards made of? When was ice cream invented? How did they shave? How did kids become knights? What were their perfumes made of? And soaps? What did they eat? How different was their wine? And what kind of materials or slang or fabrics can I use, and what can I change without completely breaking immersion?

 And then I shove all that into a pot and adapt it to a world where Mathias can literally put the world on fire with a wave of his hands. ♥

Q4: Which of your characters is most like you? How?

I think I’m a mix of them all, but mainly Mandra and Rafa (one of my main characters in my supervillain books). They have wildly different personalities and stories, but those two have clear views of the kind of person they want to be, they’re not afraid of their soft sides, and they are ready to work hard to become good at what they love. Rafa has a specially strong connection to her brother, like my siblings and I, and Mand is often locked in an eternal state of wanting to be alone and wanting to be surrounded by family/loved ones, so I guess we meet there too!

Q5: Does your heritage influence your characters as you create them? (How? Why or why not?)

Yes! There are the very basic ways, like habits, names, food, family dynamics, settings (mainly in my books, which are all very Brazilian), and Holidays. And then there’s a more personal way that I’m not entirely sure I can explain because I lived in Brazil for 28 years, and I’m not sure I can put that into words. The classics of our literature are different, Art, architecture, and music developed differently, my country was violently colonized and still faces the results of that violence (including but not limited to structural racism, classism, misogyny etc), I learned some Capoeira in my physical education class at school, we call non-Brazilians “gringos,” and so on. This is my normal, and this is what my characters would see as normal too, because I don’t know any different.

At the very core, all my characters are influenced by my country’s history, by our relationship with other countries, and by the values my parents taught me, passed down to them by my Indigeous-Spanish-Portuguese-German foremothers/fathers. :P

The main, more palpable way my heritage influences my characters, though, is through humor and theme. I think Brazilians have a very specific, sharp, and often very smart kind of humor that, IMO, stems from the type of history our country has, and the way we look at life, sometimes translating pain into humor. As for themes, I usually write about what makes me angry... and there’s a lot in Brazil’s history and modern society that causes me that. :)

But all I know for sure is that I want to show the world Brazilians are much more than samba and soccer.

 Q6: What is something you love to see in interactive fiction?

Other people! In the same way I add my history and worldview to my creations, I always approach stories thinking that there’s a whole, well, history behind them. And I love that! Also, I adore choices that feel impactful + good friendships and family relationships + soft romances with mutual respect. ♥

Q7: Any advice to give?

Hmm. Be proud and celebrate who you are and where you’re from. Learning and understanding the world inside us is a life-long process, so it’s always a victory to discover new pieces of ourselves. :) Also, if you can, talk to people that come from different cultures than yours to expand your worldview, don’t be afraid to be soft (the world needs more kindness), and please study personal finance. Seriously. XD

[wormstacheangel]

reminder I am watching The Nanny and I can't help but write scenes as destiel. So here is my second one. I think this one is a bit more sitcom, especially towards the end :) This is for episode 1x11.

wc: 1.7k

The kids have been having a hard time with the one night they don’t have Dean to tuck them in. Whatever Cas did, the kids would correct him and tell him Dean did it this way or did it that way. He simply couldn’t get it right. Even Claire was missing Dean, showing her fear of losing the one person who finally got her to be less angry at the world.

After finally getting the kids to bed, Cas walks into the kitchen to find Balthazar lounging around in his robe with a drink in one hand and scrolling through movie reviews with the other. Cas stands over his shoulder, trying to read it, but his eyes gaze over, not caring enough but still, he sighs.

“Would you like a drink, sir?” Balthazar sounded exasperated with him already, even if he has only been in the room for less than a minute.

“Please.” Cas fetches a cup and holds it out for Balthazar to pour some whiskey into it. He has been feeling restless all night but can’t pinpoint the reason why. “You know, Mr. Winchester would have loved talking about horrible movies with you.”

“Yes. I know.”

“I wonder how he is.”

“I’m sure he is enjoying his date, sir.” Balthazar takes a sip of his drink as he keeps his eyes on the screen in front of him.

Cas walks over to stand by the kitchen island. He already undid his tie, undid his top four buttons, and he can’t imagine how his hair looked after pacing the living room for a good 20 minutes.

He swirled his drink before downing the whole thing in one gulp.

“Or he can be having a miserable time, sir. The man was a mortician, after all. I don’t think that would fit Mr. Winchester’s happy-go-lucky attitude very well.”

Cas perks up at that, feeling his chest warm-up — probably because of the drink actually— as he stands up straighter with a hopeful grin. “You think so?”

“Have I ever wronged you, sir?”

“You’re right, Balthazar! He would never like that-that depressing man.” Cas smile grows. “Cause you know, the kids, they would miss him very much if he left.”

Balthazar shuts his laptop as he rolls his eyes, “For god’s sake, sir! It’s only the first-!” He looks at Cas’s stunned expression before slowly falling back in his chair, a cheeky smile on his face. “I mean, with all due respect, sir.”

“Yes.” Cas sighs, ignoring the outburst. “I think you’re right. I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I?”

“Maybe a tad bit, sir.”

A chuckle came out of his mouth as Cas opens the trash can and plucks out the bag to throw it outside. He walks towards the back door as he says, “I didn’t see anything between them anyways. I’m sure it’ll be fine!”

Cas pulls the back door open only to find Dean and his date making out. Leaving Cas standing there stunned and fumbling, not knowing if he should break them apart or close the door.

“I don’t see anything between them either, sir.” Balthazar joked as they both watched Dean press closer to his date. Unaware of their audience. Balthazar was the one to finally close the door, taking the bag of trash away from Cas, as he leads him towards the stairs. “I believe it’s time for you to go to bed, Mr. Novak.”

“Yes. Yes. You’re probably right.” Cas shook his head, hoping to erase that image away like an etch a sketch, but he still saw Dean’s mouth being sucked on. “Goodnight.”

“Night, sir.”

(More Under The Cut)

In the morning, Cas somehow convinced himself—Balthazar was only half-listening to his words anyways— to talk to Dean about the rules of the house. It had to be done. He didn’t want Dean to bring home strange people to his home, where his children lived. He didn’t want to see—or better yet— he didn’t want his kids to see Dean bring people into his room.

What kind of example will that present to them? Not a very good one.

He knocks at the door and quickly gets an answer to come in; Dean never hesitates to have any of the kids in his room. Cas would usually find them all curled up in Dean’s bed watching cartoons on a Sunday morning.

“Good morning, Mr. Winchester.” Cas poked his head into the room first, and that enough stopped him short. Dean looked like he was getting ready to go out.

Dean is dressed in a comfortable-looking robe, no shirt, and he’s assuming no pants by the fact that he can see a peek of his thighs from the slit in the front.

“Morning, Mr. Novak. What can I do for you?” Dean turned back to the mirror, a small smile stretched across his lips as he continued to fix his hair.

“I just wanted to talk about your um—You know we have rules in this house, and I just wanted to make sure you know them.”

“Oh, I think you have me confused with Claire. She’s two doors down.” Dean teased.

“No. No, this is about your date. About you having dates. And-And having…dates.” Cas sighed the last word, unable to get the word he wants out without his whole body warming up. “Anyways,” He cleared his throat. “The rules of the house with me-”

“Oh, with you? Gosh, maybe I should have read the fine print better.” Dean teased, winking at him through his reflection as he ran his hands through his growing hair.

“No. Not like that!”

“Let me get this straight.” Dean turns to face Cas before practically strutting over to Cas, half-dressed in a semi-open robe. Cas eyes struggle not to travel on the man before him. “We are talking about having sex in my room.”

“Well, not-not us. Not we.” Cas nervous gestures between them, noticing his hand hit Dean’s bare chest in the process because they were standing so damn close.

“We already covered that.” Dean winks at him again, making Cas’s heart race. “Don’t worry, Mr. Novak, I won’t do anything to show a bad example for the children.”

“Good.” Cas stuffs his hands in his pockets as he rocks on his heels. “Yes. Good. Okay!”

“Okay.” Dean turns back to the mirror.

“Where are you going anyways?” That sounded way too demanding. “If I may ask?”

“Well, if you must know. I got another date. We’re meeting for lunch.”

“Again?”

“Yeah. Well, I gotta eat.”

“Of course. Well, have fun, Mr. Winchester.”

“Thank you, Mr. Novak. Nice chat.”

Cas makes his way out of the room, bumping on furniture as he went.

Cas walks into the kitchen that same afternoon to find Dean sitting on the kitchen counter, shoveling ice cream into his mouth. Cas quickly rushes over to take the spoon away from him.

“Mr. Winchester! You are lactose intolerant!”

“Well, I deserve a little bit of ice cream after the crap day I had, and the coconut milk one you got me is still frozen solid!”

“Oh,” Cas puts the ice cream away before walking back to him. “Date didn’t go so well this time? Was it the whole creepy mortician life?”

“No,” Dean sighs, watching as Cas runs the Dean-friendly fudge brownie ice cream under some hot water. “Weirdly enough, I was getting used to the idea.”

“Then, what was wrong with him?” Cas hands Dean a spoon, and they both dig into the still hard ice cream, but they can still scape a few bits off. Cas tried not to follow the way Dean’s tongue pokes out and licks at the spoon.

“He was a clown.” Dean sighs, spinning the spoon in his hand before aggressively digging at the pint of ice cream.

“In what way?”

“In a clown way.”

“What-?”

“Red nose! Big shoes! You want me to google it for you?” Cas looks stunned by the outburst. But it clicks; he means an actual fucken clown. He tried not to laugh as Dean let out a defeated sigh. “Sorry. I just thought…I just thought I finally found someone. You know? I’m 30. I should have found someone already.”

“I’m sorry, Dean. But I’m sure you will. You’ll find someone special who won’t honk their nose at you.” Cas bops Dean’s nose, it’s awkward, but Dean still chuckles when he pushes Cas’s hand away.

The atmosphere around them was warm and comforting, something he wishes to drown in. But in a respectable boss-and-employee-who-lives-with-him kind of way. The smile they share fades a little as they look away, and then Dean jumps off the counter with a yawn.

“I’m gonna head to bed now. Goodnight, Mr. Novak.”

“Goodnight, Mr. Winchester.”

And just like that, they are back to professionals.

The following day, Dean is in the room talking to Sam about his dating life.

“You just think the perfect person is gonna knock at your door yelling out ‘there you are! I found you!’”

“Oh, there you are.” Cas walks in, neither Sam nor Dean notices the coincidence, holding out two different ties. “What tie should I wear? Blue or yellow?”

“Blue. Goes great with your eyes.” Dean turns around to tie the tie nicely around Cas’s neck. Sam gave them no attention as it was an action that happens regularly.

When he was done, he fixes Cas’s collar and pats his shoulder before telling him he looks good.

“Thank you, Mr. Winchester.”

Cas walks out of the room while Dean continues to get ready as he talks. “I just want a person who actually respects and values my opinions, not just my pretty face.”

“Ah, sorry to bother you again, Mr. Winchester,” Cas walks back in. “but I do value your opinion. Should I wear the gold cufflinks or the silver?”

“Gold is a classic. But make sure it’s those nice ones Claire picked out for you. She’ll love to see them.”

“Oh, yes. Thank you! That would be great.” Cas walks out of the room with a grateful smile.

Sam is still flipping through Dean’s magazine collection as he sighs, “Yeah, Dean, that’s never going to happen. You should have just dated the damn clown,”

“And what? Never see you again cause you’ll be scared my boyfriend is in full makeup? No, thank you. Now let’s go before we’re late to the damn game.”

[shinescape]

tw: Poly relationship. Character being blindfolded and tied up. No smut just a lot of tension, teasing and suggestive content.

note: 2.3k of i don't know how to put it but it happened.

Play time

It was Saturday, resting day for most and laundry day for you and the boys. The fact that their clothes piled more than yours had you sighing loudly as you placed all the dried clothes in a basket.

It was almost lunch time but the other two were still sound asleep. You went into your room and spotted Seonghwa lying down on the bed, busy on his phone. You stepped closer to the bed and tilted the basket, all the garments falling on the bed and some hit his chest.

You didn’t say a word and sat down on the bed, starting to fold the clothes. “I’m finishing this round then I’ll help, okay?” You hummed back in response and continue on with the folding. Their clothes were bigger than yours so even after a few shirts, you were starting to get tired. You heard Seonghwa clicked his phone off and he started to sit down properly before taking a piece to fold.

The both of you worked in silence and the once pile of clothes started to disappear gradually. “Why are we even folding their clothes as well?” Seonghwa asked out of nowhere. “You’ve already folded more than ten shirts and decided to ask that, Hwa? You know how both of us hate it when they just put their clothes on the sofa so might as well just do this.” He looked at you and pouted, agreeing to the fact that both of you can’t handle the amount of clothes around the house scattered by the other two.

He looked at you long enough and decided to ask, “Is there anything you want to tell me, sweetheart?” You paused at his sudden endearment. What is going on all of a sudden, you thought. “Like what?” “Is there anything you want to try besides the usual things we do? You know like se-” Before he could finish his words, you threw a boxer at his face.

“Hey, I was asking nicely you know. But seriously, I saw the way you look at me sometimes. It’s like you have something you want to say but you shrug it off afterwards.” At this point, your whole body heated up yet you still fold the clothes like it’s nothing. “Come on, don’t ignore me, babe. Just tell me what it is that you want to try. Hurm?”

The first thing you should do was avoid his eyes or his pouting lips, basically his whole face but you looked up and everything just jumbled up in your head. Telling him your unspoken fantasies would embarrass you to death and it’s Park Seonghwa we’re talking here. He’s like a switch, sometimes he’s kind and soft and other times he’s dangerous and rough.

He was still staring at you intently, the boxer still in his hand. “I...I’ve always wanted to try blindfolding you,” Your lips feel dry all of a sudden and you licked them before continuing, “and tying your hands up.” You literally covered your face and slammed down to the covers, as if it would change anything.

Seonghwa could not believe what he just heard and the fact that you said it nervously made his stomach churned weirdly. He pushed away whatever that was between you two and pulled you back up by the shoulder. He watched how you were avoiding from looking at him, as if you might just lose control and pushed him down that instant.

“Is that all?” You shivered at the low tone of his voice and took the courage to look at him in the eyes. “I kinda like seeing you in blue jeans and a white shirt too.” You said cautiously.

He was processing everything that you said as his fingers slowly let go of you without realising. Felt as if you were going to be sucked into his gaze, you clumsily get off the bed and leave the room.

Leaving Seonghwa in his own thoughts, questioning why he asked in the first place if he himself can’t handle the fact that his lover has this side that was kept hidden all this time. It’s like he unlocked a part of you and was trying to wrap the idea around his head.

A week passed by after that seemingly heart to heart talk, it was Saturday again but no laundry to wash just a normal weekend breakfast.

You were having breakfast with Wooyoung since the other two went out early in the morning to god knows where. He wanted to cook you breakfast but you declined saying he should just rest and both of you ended up eating cold milk with cereal.

“Is everything okay? You seemed out of it these days.” He ruffled your hair and pulled you closer, planting a kiss on your temple. “Everything’s fine.” You smiled at him and hoped that he let it pass.

He narrowed his eyes at you and you can’t help but pinched his cheeks. “Any plans for today?” “None, I’m just going to laze around and play games. Unless, you have something else in mind.” He smirked to which you rolled your eyes at him. “Nothing, I’m just gonna go take a nap.” You kissed him on the lips and stood up with the bowl in your hand.

You heard movements as you were washing the bowl, an arm snaked its way around your waist. “You woke up an hour ago, let’s play a bit hmm?” You were controlling every fiber in your body to not react to his advances.

You turned around and hugged him back, “Imagine Seonghwa finding out we had fun without him, he’ll get upset.” You tried to reason. Wooyoung pulled back from the hug and gave you an annoyed look.

“You’re always so obedient to him.” He suddenly went straight to your neck and bit it. You were taken aback by his actions but he pulled away before you could scold him. He went away sulking and you sighed as you rubbed the skin he just bit. It hurts but the moist of his lips lingered and odd thoughts were getting to your head.

Afterwards, you were playing with your phone on the sofa that after some time you actually fell asleep. A couple hours later, you woke up to someone entering one of the doors in the house. You rubbed your eyes and stood up to stretch your limbs.

The house was still quiet and you assumed that Wooyoung was just in his room. You walked to your room and was about to twist the knob when it burst open, surprising you in the process. “Are you going out again, Seonghwa?” You took in his outfit and noticed that it was different than earlier in the morning.

He walked up closer to you and held you by the shoulders, “You want to do it now?” You had to blink a few times and looked at him confused. “I just woke up...and why all of a sudden?” That’s when you realised his outfit. He’s wearing a white cotton shirt and a pair of blue jeans.

You placed a palm on his chest and turned your head to the side. What the hell, is he serious about this? You felt his fingers wrapped around your hand that was on his torso and was pulling you inside the room. It was safe to say you were wide awake the moment you saw him but what’s about to happen doesn’t look safe at all.

You were sitting on the bed and he was standing right in front of you, looking fine as ever. He looked down at you and gave you something. “Is this yours?” You examine the two materials that he passed. One was a lace and the other was a tie. He hummed and crawled on the bed, leaning at the backrest.

You were contemplating as usual. As much as it was exciting, you were still somewhat intimidated by him. You made your way and sat in front of him. “I can’t believe you want to do this.” You said and tried to read his face, his eyes were staring directly at you yet the tips of his ears were red.

“This is going to be the first and last.” He said and ushered you to go on with it. You went closer and took both his hands behind him, tying it up with the necktie he gave earlier. The both of you were looking into each other's eyes as you made sure the tie was secured properly around his wrists.

“Is it too tight?” You whispered shyly. This was a first for you thus you wanted to make sure he was absolutely fine with it. He shook his head and smiled at you. You wondered how he was able to smile when you can tell deep down he’s about to lose it, the fact that he agreed to this was enough of a shocker to you.

Your eyes were leveled now and you just had to confirm, “Are you really sure about this, Hwa?” “Just do it, sweetheart.” You gulped at his reply and slowly covered his eyes with the lace.

His eyes were your favourites, just staring into them always made you weak but seeing him in this state sparked something in you like never before. You made sure he can’t see and even waved your hand in front of his blinded eyes to confirm.

You told him to lie down comfortably even though his hands were behind his back which made it hard to move around. “I can’t believe I did this to you.” You took in the sight of the never before seen Seonghwa and felt heat rushed throughout your body.

He was nervous since he couldn't see and his hands were tied so the only thing he could do was licked his lips. You got up from the bed slowly and looked at him again. He doesn’t seem as intimidating as he always was and it surely excites you yet you didn’t know what to do next. “You’re still there right?” He questioned and you hummed at him in response.

Without thinking much, you left the room and went to find Wooyoung. You had your fair share of experience but you never took the lead and realise how embarrassing that sounded. It was always Seonghwa, he does everything to make you feel loved and satisfied.

“Woo, I need your help.” You found him in his room, on his phone. He sat up and gave you a questioning look. “What is it?” You didn’t reply and rushed to his side and dragged him to where Seonghwa was.

When he saw the state Seonghwa was in, he gasped so loud you had to put a hand over his mouth. “You did this to him?” He asked quietly and you nodded in embarrassment.

Wooyoung cleared his throat loudly and saw Seonghwa froze. “Did you call him here?” “I’m sorry Hwa. To be honest I don’t know what to do and Woo seemed like he can help out a bit.” You heard him groan from the bed. “I’m going to have so much fun right now.” He smirked at the older male who was now trying to untie himself.

“You should go sit on him. For a start.” You gawked at his directness and he only pushed you to the bed as a support. You could not believe what was going on yet both your legs were now wrapped on either side of Seonghwa’s body.

Wooyoung who was now on the swivel chair with crossed legs watched the sight unfold in front of him. He told you to move up to his stomach and you heard the man under you hissed. “Stop...moving too much.” You had to admit Seonghwa was looking hot and bothered right under you and that lace made him look even hotter if that was even possible.

You couldn’t help but kiss him and felt that he wanted more as he tried to hold on to your lips longer yet you pulled away. Of course you felt bad but you have all the time to kiss on later so what’s the rush right?

“Shouldn’t we get that shirt off from him, babe?” You turned to watch Wooyoung taking something from your table and coming back to you with a playful smile. “Jung Wooyoung, I’m going to kill you once this is over.” Seonghwa growled which Wooyoung found it even more fun to tease him. You were torn between whether to stop everything or listen to Wooyoung and just do whatever he told you to. But was stopping even an option anymore?

He came closer to Seonghwa and kissed his cheek before grabbing the hem of his shirt and starting to snip its way up to the collar. The shirt now split up and you're just sitting there staring at his bare torso. “I just bought this shirt, you idiot!”

“Aww, that’s so cute of you to actually go buy one just for this.” Wooyoung chuckled, clearly enjoying the fact that he’s in control of Seonghwa at the moment. This was like a one of a lifetime chance might as well make it worthwhile before it ends, Wooyoung thought.

Although you were the one on top of Seonghwa right now, it felt like you were third wheeling instead. Your mind went totally blank and at this point whatever instructions Wooyoung gave, you would follow it willingly like a lost child.

As he was about to say something, the bedroom door creaked open. “Guys, I’m back! I brought dinner too.” You and Wooyoung turned to the door where Mingi stood there grinning, unaware of the situation.

Once he did, the expression on his face changed. “What is going on here?” He tried to take in the sight of what his lovers were up to while he was away.

You were sitting on a struggling Seonghwa and Wooyoung who sat next to both of you with the most mischievous look ever. It was indeed a sight to see.

“We’re planning to have dessert first. You wanna join us, Mingi?” At Wooyoung’s words he shut the door and made his way towards all of you.

“Why not. So where should we start?”

[jiminrings]

hellooo can i request a drabble of uni!au art major tae and biochem major yn? also part one of the would you series is AMAZINGGG seriously i cant wait to read more!! <3

rich kid kim

pairing: taehyung x y/n

wordcount: 5k

glimpse: tae’s cold and probably needs a friend more than he needs a model, y/n feels this nEED to take care of him, a term of enderment then a dash of emotional constipation and a sprinkle of jealousy :D

notes: thank you for the request babes!! writing this made my heart melt and aND!!! thank you omg i’m glad you like would you :((

if you squint or if you’ve read insufferable, this is most probably taehyung and his y/n!!!

taehyung is personally more than willing to pay himself out of this project

oKAY LISTEN

he’s not the proudest knowing that he comes from a rich family and he’s the only kid and he’s never really struggled for much

everything was just given to him without any hesitations whatsoever

and yeah he admits that he can nEVER admit that his pampered and luxurious lifestyle since birth has shaped him to be this way and it’s hard to unlearn these types of things

things were too easy for him and thAt’s what made it hard

tae is the farthest thing from an outcast..,.,.,.,

.,.,. but that’s him in his usual rich boi bubble of elites wherever he goes because he’s surrounded by people like him

hoseok and jimin have got to be his closest friends but of course they pursued business degrees and everyone must’ve probably saw that coming

nobody, however, expected the kim taehyung to pursue a degree based rootly on passion and even major in it

yeah that’s right what are yOU looking at???

he’s an art student and yeah he’s taking this seriously ://

do yOU have a problem with that?? do you?? no what did you say?? step the fuck up ky-

spoiler alert: people do have a problem with that

taehyung could tell that his parents did a complete 180 when they learned through jimin’s noisy-ass mouth (not even through their own son) that he’s gonna be getting an art degree

his dad’s the one who’s most especially disappointed at him because well he’s the only child and uhhhh.,.,.,, so who’s gonna inherit the company now.,.,,,

tae normally feels selfish and this time, he felt like he was being rational rather than being selfish!! this is what he passionately wants!! pls god can i be selfish oNE more time

eventually his parents had no choice because as their son explained,, having an art degree won’t keep him away from the family business at all and he could even expand it!! he doesn’t need a degree!!! 

lmao he’s been putting the money he gets on the stock market ever since he was ten years old

and they had to accept it eventually because this is what HE wants and if this is the only thing that he wants... then might as well help him through it, right??

now this is another dilemma

taehyung’s applied at a regular university in which everyone’s blended together and no one really cares about who’s who

it’s not exclusive to people like him.

he submitted his requirements and his portfolios by himself!!

and he got accepted!!

he’s nOT SURE if it’s purely because of his skills and himself and not his parents’ money nor influence

whatever it is, he doesn’t want to know because if it ends up being the answer he doesn’t want?? lol he’d crawl into a hole and mope for a week and would be doomed to wear three-piece suits for the rest of his life 

so anyways

yeah..,, this is one of the handful of times that taehyung is completely willing to pay himself out 

this project was supposed to be easy enough as what the professor said but uH he’d like to passive-aggressively decline pls and thank you

their final project was to make a portrait

right?? easy!!

a portrait of sOMEONE IN CAMPUS,,, regardless if you know them or not

(( well of course you’d get to know them by the end because yea they’re required to show proof that they indeed met and the model did agree to be painted ))

and by the end of the project, it’s either they keep it to themselves or give it to the model!!

that should be easy, right??

...

....

...... pls say right

oh my god tae should probably drop out now so he doesn’t get to do this

rich people don’t necessarily have to be educated, right???? maybe he’ll just settle into being a himbo 

he learned about the meaning of the word through urban dictionary that he tHEN only learned about like six months ago and now he gets so many things

taehyung’s not intimidated by the workload of it all -- in fact, he’s even excited about it because it helps him relax!!

what he’s intimidated about is the fact that he’s kim taehyung and there are only two possible options

either his model would be someone who knows him and would be taking every possible step to ensure that they climb the social ladder through him and they’re not even gonna be dISCREET about it

OR

his model wouldn’t completely care about who he is and in the process belittles him upfront and tbh his hart wouldn’t be able to take that and he’s probably wipe his tears away with dollar bills

there is almost no in-between, that one he’s sure of

so why are you like this?

why are you neither of the two and why are you sO kind and go against his expectations????

do you have an ulterior motive or something????

you who’s a biochem major and is actually another building away from his own

you who’s made the initiative that you become hIS model

you who actually oFFERED and almost begged to be a part of a project that would only be for tae’s benefit

... aha

that’s about -5 points from being a cool laid-back nonchalant gal

+10 for looking like someone who’s had a massively obsessive crush on him since day one and looking like you’d lay his life for him

no but lmao actually you just learned about taehyung in a magazine

you were bored at the dentist’s and scrolled through every possible outlet in your phone and it didn’t satiate you anymore!!! so how about reading a good ol’ magazine :D

then came taehyung

it was a whole issue dedicated to him and you were probably too dedicated into reading it that this time it was you telling the dentist to wait lol

that’s as far as you knew about him

and then you learned just some weeks ago that taehyung happens to study where you also study at and that was.,., inch resting

you never really saw him before around campus because it was too big and well maybe if you put in the effort, you’d actually find him

maybe you had a tiny lil admiration for kim taehyung just from one whole issue alone you read at the dentist’s or whatever

you’ve only known about this final project situation through changbin!!!

changbin, your neighbor at the apartment next to you, who’d crash over whenever his wifi feels the tiniest bit slow

yes you did spend a little more money to upgrade your internet situation (most times it’s the router who makes all the difference) because you were so tIRED of having things slow in the middle of researching for your projects in biochem)

no you will nOT have that <3

and of course changbin’s not having your that shitty wifi either so he pushed you to get that in the first place so he can use it too lmao

he’s told you just a couple of days ago about his final project and that maybe, just maybe, he’d make it into a move for this girl that he likes

nothing’s more romantic than pleading for someone to paint ur face right

and your grade and the decision to whether you’re gonna pass or flunk and graduate or retake are relying on you mostly

and in changbin’s case it’s also hIS heart on the line so yeah no pressure at all luv

“i kinda feel bad for rich kid kim, y’know?”

“what about taehyung???”

“eW do you have a crush on him??”

“addressing someone by their name equals to a crush??????”

your banters never stop because you’re as quick-witted as him and he both loves and hates it

he loves that omg someone can keep up with him and that way he gets challenged to always have the last say!!

he hates that oh god why is he friends with someone who reminds him of himself so much how is hE gonna deal with that??

sometimes he’ll purposely argue with you to fEEL something lmao

but there’s just something here that tells him you’re a little more interested now in this flow of conversation ever since rich kid kim was mentioned

“hm, nothing. i’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a model yet.”

he dodges you in the kitchen to look for peanut butter in your cupboard and oddly... you’re not berating him for decreasing your groceries....?

what does changbin mean by that? whAt model?? model as in taehyung doesn’t have the newest model of whatever car he wants? or maybe he has a model girlfriend and-

hold on wait wHAT

taehyung has a-

“m-model?”

he looks at you weirdly but you don’t even bat an eye when he gets ahold of your marshmallow spread so that he could make another one of his s’mores sandwiches

“uhhhh model as in he doesn’t have someone to paint for our project??”

is that what you wanted to hear or,.,

you and changbin share one (1) brain cell and it SHOWS

the two of you have to open your mouths, then close, then ponder, and then do that aGAIN until the both of you could finally grasp if you were in the same page

“oh cool!! i’ll be his model then!”

“yeah but did he ask”

“it’s gonna be easy!! i’ll just tag along with you to your building”

“yeah but did he aSK”

“we’re probably gonna hit it off instantly and then you’ll have to leech off from someone else for their wifi and food and every other necessity that you already have-”

“yeah but dID HE ASK????”

long-story short: no. taehyung most certainly did not ask you to be his model.

but here you are

saying that you came a long way is a bit of a stretch because taehyung mostly turns his head the other way around when you call out to him in public

progress is still progress :D

you’re eating lunch with him at the same table and this time you’re sat beside him!! when normally he’d just walk home to his apartment (lol that’s not allowed but you won’t be surprised to know that he has a free pass) and eat!!!

before that, taehyung would gLARE at you until you stop asking to sit with him in his table

yea he gets a bit lonely at time because jimin and hobi aren’t with him and hE’S the outcast but he won’t do anything about it,, just scroll through his phone while he eats and tune everyone out

you figured that maybe it’s changbin always linked with you in lunch because your schedules just matched up thAt perfectly like it does with tae’s

hee-hee so you might have elbowed him until he begrudgingly agreed to be tolerable, keep atleast four feet of distance from you, and not call tae rich kid kim

spoiler alert: taehyung doesn’t really care about whatever you do because doing those changes with changbin did nOT work at all

however

H O W E V E R

taehyung doesn’t know at all how you’ve wormed your way into his heart!!

what seem to be cold to you is his warmest he’s ever been in such a new environment and outside of his usual comfort bubbles!!!

it’s like you occasionally stealing the food from his plate when you have the same thing is the equivalent of h*lding h*nds with him

you putting your leg over his before he pushes it after five seconds mUST be the equivalent to marriage

wait he’s lying

taehyung does know how you’ve wormed your way to his heart

“hi! i’m y/n! :D”

ok u are a little bit sweaty and out of breath from doing all that fast-paced walking for the past ten minutes

your new shoes that you still need to break into further aren’t helping your situation in the slightest bit

honestly? this is all changbin’s fault <3

he unknowingly gave you the sign that you were looking for

if he says yeah five times with five minutes?? okay yeah you’re definitely looking for kim taehyung and offering yourself to become his model

you don’t wanna sound weird but you feel sorry for him and you wanna help him :((

he’s not helping you tho because he has long legs underneath those trousers and it looked like he wouldn’t budge at all not unless you jogged and stopped right in front of him

“hi! i’m y/n!! :D”

“...”

“.....”

tae’s a bit... perplexed

because who’s THIS entity and why are you standing in front of him

...

....

“bye y/n.”

:]

he wants to exit from this situation because oh my god??

why r u like this

he didn’t ASK for your name!!

and he doesn’t even know you and giving him your name honestly won’t do anything and he doesn’t get what’s your motive and-

“oh c’mon!! you didn’t even shake my hand :((”

he feels even more lost as he tries to wrap his head around that uh.....

you uh.... you wanted a handshake??

.....

tae doesn’t even hide his annoyance because it’s clear as day!!!

he’s blatantly tilting his head at you rudely with a blank stare omg take the hint pLEASE

realizing it now you mAY have came on too strong to taehyung that looks confused as ever

“hi, i’m y/n.”

changbin’s by one of the lockers taking pics of you beaming at taehyung and him scowling down to show you later how dumb you look and how you shouldn’t do this at all

okay LISTEN

his personality trait is to immediately assume the worst out of every scenario possible and that way when something slightly less worse happens? that’s a win babie ;D

he became ur friend in the first place because you heard him yelling since he’s at the door right next to yours and you could hEAR him throwing things around as he cusses his laptop

yeah he cusses his laptop what about it??

if you close your eyes hard enough, you could hear him throw his router against the wall (you later learned that he was so close to finishing his digitalization but then his laptop decided to die) before punching the air

(( the friendship started when you knocked vERY gently and offered him to borrow your laptop even if you aren’t done with all your homework ))

((( changbin thought at first that u were such an organized and too-friendly social butterfly who’s a kiss-ass to everyone but now he thinks ur the coolest person ever and he treasures you more than life itself )))

although, taehyung’s a lot more vicious and closed-off and critical than changbin

he narrows his gaze at you as you introduce yourself for the second time before merely clicking his tongue

“ok cool”

is that uhm

is that IT good sir

“you’re not,” you’re dancing around your words and being careful to not let a pout grace your lips at the sheer lack of enthusiasm, “gonna introduce yourself to me??”

you got a reaction alright

taehyung sCOFFS and that’s the loudest he’s ever been with you in the span of two minutes

“you followed me for ten minutes just to tell me your name. kinda seems like you already know mine if you do that, no?”

this is why you took up biochem instead of law

how do the lawyers not break down???

why does phoenix wright make it seem SO easy?? especially when he’s spoken to in a confrontal tone???

oh god taehyung broke you already

not to be rude but uh what do you wANT

can you get it over already??

“o-oh! uhm i was wondering if i could uHm,” you sound ridiculous now that you think about it and this is perhaps one of the only times you feel embarrassed, “volunteer to be your model for your project?”

hmm

was that a wrong answer,,,

sHOULD YOU HAVE SAID THAT??

“are you in my class?”

taehyung asks and he’s finally said a sentence to you!!! omg

you’re quite shocked so he had to click his tongue to get you to answer 

“no, actually!! i’m a biochem major and-...”

that’s all it takes before he hums and nods his head

and for some reason taehyung looks at you like you’re pREY

“are you a stalker?”

okay wait holy fuck wHAT

you know what

you took a sip from changbin’s coffee half an hour ago but why are you only choking on it nOW

you’re positively sputtering and now ur pressured bc tae thinks you’re a stalker!!! a damn stalker!!

“looked at you long enough. i don’t need a sketch artist and i could just-”

no no no pls no

this meeting is going downhill very quickly 

“oh my god taehyung i’m nOT a stalker okay!!!”

that shuts him up because your voice is so firm and okAY then how do u explain this stalker smh ://

throughout the whole time you’re talking about changbin being an art major and also your neighbor and everything in between, tae has such a neutral expression that you feel so intimidated

“-and that’s what!! i’m not taking advantage of you or anything, if that’s what you’re thinking i guess? i swear!!”

he listened and well if he’s being honest,,, okay yea you did make sense and he does know changbin

“okay then. i’ll think about it.”

“are you gonna give me your number???”

it’s either you’re so forward or he’s just not used to being caught off-guard

WHICH FUCKING ONE

“what for?”

it’s been so long ever since someone asked taehyung for his number

usually in galas and any other socialite gatherings you could think of, everyone’s number would just be in your phone automatically and you won’t even rEMEMBER how it got there in the first place

better yet, it’s been so long since he went back to his usual routine lifestyle of being himself 

his last gala was two weeks ago and tae had to keep looking at his phone to study pdfs and whatever clear pictures he can get of his reviewers back at home because he had a test tomorrow morning

“so you could text me where we’re gonna meet so you could paint me, silly!!”

:D

okay wOAH there

“i didn’t even say that you’d be my model????”

“lol but you were thinking it huh”

that’s it

taehyung has nO choice but to paint you if he wants to finish this project and graduate and have something of a thicker paper to flaunt

it came as a shock to him that hE took your offer and he could only imagine its effect on you

not to brag but tae didn’t even have to sweat for a little because it’s yOU who came to him with this offer!! not him!!

tae lives in the classiest apartment here in uni and everyone probably knows that

much to his insistence that he doesn’t want anyone from uni going outside his apartment, he had to take an L and invite you over

he wouldn’t risk doing his work in any place else because he doesn’t want anyone thinking and getting the wrong idea!!

speaking of, he’s regretting it now because you seem to be too happy being in his space

you’re pointing around and being awed at every possible thing!!! 

what??? is this ur first time seeing a rattan hanging chair :// or a massive couch?? or a canvas painting of something so beautiful?? all of that in what’s supposed to be a student’s one apartment??? christ y/n get yourself together

“so what do you want me to do?? where do i sit oR do i stand instead?? i’m gonna need you to know that-...”

“nothing.” taehyung deadpans before he gets his camera so he could get digital shots as well if ever he needs an extra touch when it comes to his final product

the gears in your head are going bRRR and you’re gonna have to ask him to elaborate but taehyung already sets the pace

“nothing. just be your rEALLY annoying self and pretend i’m not here.”

normally you don’t take his words to heart but this one just hits a little close to home bc it’s early in the morning and taehyung already finds you intolerable

“by pretend, do you mean-...”

“up to you. are you more annoying around me or no?”

how did he read your MIND

tae got the thoughts in your head word per word and you’re so amazed at that because fUcK you originally thought that he’s good at bluffing his way up

click!

it’s you smiling at him

no you’re beaming at him

and you’re in front of his morning-lit curtains and you’re against the light

the portrait itself is already visually appealing and satisfying and man the shadows!!! the value!!!! they’re so raw and dreamy and this is exactly his style!!!

it was just a one-take wonder as soon as he took a picture of you!!! and he may have you to hold that position if he needs the push!! he just needs to translate it to canvas with his own language and emotions and then he’s dONE!!

you’re a pain in the ass

you laugh and you move too much

taehyung had you to to revisit that pose and hold it and you wouldn’t stop giggling bc you were too proud that you did THAT!

you also ask too many things that even hE doesn’t have the answers to

how is he supposed to know if red string lovers exist when you went into a spiel just because you saw a red tube of paint???? and why is he saying his opinions on such trivial things when he has his final project to take care of???

and how is he supposed to know why YOU’RE here hanging out with him instead of finishing your own final project

jk maybe it’s the L word but you’re gonna subdue that as much as possible since taehyung looks like he’d leave you by yourself with any chance that he gets

and you even call him terms of endearment!!! nicknames!! pet names!! names that you’d call someone who’s familiar to you and you probably l*ve!!!

angel

that’s what you call him :))

“why do you call me that?”

“because you look like one”

“and how would yOU know what angels look like??”

“because if they were to exist then you’d probably look like one!!”

“but-”

“ok that’s one minute no more questions taehyung <3″

tae just provides you with all the conviction you need to take care of him without even knowing

not in a maternal type of instinct type of way, but rather in a sPECIAL someone type of way

you find yourself caring for him mOre than you ever could for any regular friend you have!!

you just throw a whole loaf of bread to changbin and call it a day

but for tae??? you go above and beyond!!

“did it ever hit you that rich kid kim never really introduced himself to you?”

oh right....

changbin points out one day and you could see where he was getting at

for some reason he always knew what was in your mind at any given time and sometimes it’s to your disadvantage

you seem to be growing on taehyung though!!

he tolerates you better now!!

sometimes he’ll find you loveable even

he likes having someone around and you’re the perfect contender

if he decides to not talk too much, then you fill up the white noise!!

if he wants you to shut up?? then yOU shut up but of course not without babbling for a little

he’s opened up but with some reservations

some reservations that you don’t mind but it’s normal that you feel sometimes left out, y’know??

because it’s been a good month since you and taehyung properly interacted but he still resents you as much if you think about it

“hey angel!!”

“what is it-...”

taehyung looks up from his meal that he’s been poking at his fork because this has to be the fourth time you call out to him

so he turns to look at you and-

oh

uhm

there seems to be a misunderstanding

you weren’t calling HIM

you were calling out to some other guy that iSN’T him

that’s seungmin!!! omg you haven’t seen him in so long and he just happened to pass by your lunch table!!!

apparently he has something to talk to you about which is why you’re standing up and leaving tae all alone on the table

seungmin’s smile is adorable as always and he gets you in a pretty good mood!!

oh god

dear gOD

what is taehyung feeling in his chEST???

tae’s grip on his fork is starting to get pRETTY tight

and if he’s aware enough, his right eye’s twitching and he’s practically scoffing under his breath

why tf would you call him that

WHO is angel and why is it nOT him anymore????

what he’s feeling is just unexplainable and it tastes something like betrayal

“who’s he?”

he quizzes you as soon as you get back to your table and you don’t waver one bit because you know he’s been asking questions recently

“oh that’s just seungmin!! we were childhood friends then he just transferred here awhile-...”

there’s a bitter taste on his tongue and it shows up in his face and you’re not even paying attention to him!!

“really? thought i was him for a second.”

ok now that got you to stop eating

????

why is he acting weird

taehyung looks even more irked because you look sO oblivious right now

“do you call everyone angel?”

o-oh where is this going

“uhm-”

you’re not even finished and to be honest you’re quite lost and taehyung sCOFFS you to the next century

“‘course you do.”

taehyung angrily finishes his meal and you leave it at that because ok maybe he had a bad day?? and he’s just taking it out on you??

and well tae DOESN’T want you to leave it at that

he wants you to ASK him why he’s mad!!! he’s passive-aggressive and it’s getting unhealthy but he’d rather choke than have him spill whatever he’s feeling

the next few days, taehyung avoids you like his LIFE depended on it

you’re not really bothered by it because he has his days, but this one’s just getting out of control

“are you giving me a time-out or something??”

lmao what did u do now

you nudge him when you see him by changbin’s apartment to borrow an easel even though he’s already got it by his apartment

yeah he’s mad at you and he’s petty but maybe he wants to see you again

tae’s giving you silent treatment and you don’t even question him for it

you don’t bother!!

you’re letting him do whatever he wants as always and he dOESN’T like it anymore!!!

he feels like he’s gonna combust at any given time and you don’t give a shit and he feels like yOU should give a shit because you always do!!

you always hover and worry around him but wHY does he feel like you’re not doing it anymore??

why does he yEARN FOR YOU???

it’s quite an an early night for you

you love biochem but sometimes it kicks your ass and it makes you retch at the mention of all-nighters nowadays!! bc they used to be fun but now doing them because you nEED to?? no thx

you’re already in your pajamas and you’re all washed up!! what could changbin need from you at 9 in the evening??

there’s an urgent knocking on your door and you resist the need to groan because you were about to really knock yourself out!! you need to get back all the rest you’ve wasted over your own final project

is that-

“taehyung?”

the man in question is in his huge yellow hoodie that swallows him up every time and he looks positively spent

his hair’s shaggy and his eyes are glazed and there’s a pink tint to his cheeks :((

he’s holding a baby hydroflask in his hands and you’re pretty sure that’s alcohol in there lol

“don’t call me taehyung!!”

he immediately snaps and you’re lost as aLWAYS

did he really just walk all the way to your complex to snAp at you??

“i’m not taehyung,” he frowns deeply and that’s when you’re a bit more mesmerized, “i’m angel.”

is this what you think it is??

your no.1 deflection move is to laugH and you’re doing that rn

something about this whole situation tickles you funny and you’re not sure what to feel about it

“i like your bottle!! i should get one for myself!!”

he could see right through you though

he ignores your stOOpid statements and goes to hold your hands :((

“no, no. i’m your angel. i-i’m your taehyung, right??”

listen

taehyung is the most confusing being you know and he’s so emotionally constipated that he outperforms changbin but this one,,,

this just feels so different

he’s hugging you

he’s embracing you

he’s burrowing his face to your neck and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t ever imagine what this would feel like :(((

he positively 100% might be in love with you

and you positively 100% might be in love with him too

he’s fishing for your hand by your side to put in between your bodies as he shakes it and that’s because he doesn’t wanna let go of the hug 

:((((

you’re melting and this what heaven must feel like :((((

“h-hi. name’s kim taehyung and i’m yours.”

[a-simple-imagine]

Study Date

Requested by anonymous: “Hermione Granger x reader where reader is best friends with Luna and has a crush on Hermione. She never acts on those feelings because Hermione called Luna Looney and seems to dislike her and in the end maybe Luna sets them up. “

Pairing: Hermione Granger x fem!reader

Words: 2.3k+

A/N - Today i offer you yet another story about hermione granger. Tomorrow? Who knows. 

Thank you to @kileyrose-2003​ for checking it over.

Hermione Granger was a complete enigma but that was probably due to the fact there was only so much you could learn through limited interactions. If there was one thing you knew about her, it was that she was a spectacular witch with a thirst for knowledge. She had been placed in Gryffindor all those years ago but she truly could have excelled as a Ravenclaw; if that had been the case perhaps the two of you would be closer. Things would have been entirely different but alas you were left to admire from afar since that very first year when you noticed her across the Great Hall. You didn't even have any classes together until you started taking electives. However, as hard as you tried Hermione Granger seemed to avoid you at all costs. You had invited her to hang out many times but she always declined. Maybe Ron and Harry were the limits of her social perimeters?

A hand sways before your eyes drawing you back to reality. "So easily distracted."

Luna Lovegood had such a melodic, soft voice that it was weirdly hard to ignore. Then again everything about the girl could be considered peculiar which was something you greatly admired. She didn't care what anyone thought of her and yet you cared so desperately what they thought of you. "Sorry," You hum, folding the paper in your hands. "I just... do you think there is something wrong with me?"

"No more than anyone else,"

"Maybe that's why she doesn't like me," You let out a defeated sigh before placing the origami tiger you had been working on down on the table.

"Who?"

From the corner of your eyes, you spot a familiar brunette wander into the Great Hall. A few books wedged under her arm. "Can you just give me a sec-"

Without giving Luna a chance to respond, you leap to your feet and scramble along the length of the entire table and then around to catch Hermione.

"Wait," You place your hand against her shoulder, startling her just a little. "Hermione,"

She spins on her heel; her frown morphing into that of a welcoming smile. At least she seemed happy to see you. "Yes?"

"I..." you trail off as a wave of heat washes over you. The Gryffindor always managed to make you feel anxious. It wasn't a bad thing; you knew it was because you liked her but with her already taking every opportunity to ignore you it didn't exactly help the situation. "I was wondering if you uh, wanted to play with us? Me and Luna, I mean."

It sounded rather childish slipping from your lips but Hermione's brow quirked up. "What are you playing?"

"We're having a race," Your expression brightens at her interest, signalling back to the Ravenclaw table where Luna now sat alone. "We both made something out of paper and we’re gonna enchant them so they run the racecourse we made." To the left of Luna was a makeshift racetrack made of books, cups and even your spare inks and quills. It was only small so it'd be a quick race before lunch began. "If I win Luna promised to make my bed every day for a week. If she wins she gets my last bag of Fizzing Whizzbees."

"Shouldn't you be studying during study hall?" Seems Miss Granger was all work and no play. You simply shrug, standing a little taller.

"I'm smart enough already," You declare proudly, a cocky smirk on full display. "And besides it’s nearly lunchtime so we were long overdue a break."

You watch her eyes drift from yours over to where Luna was sat and back. "You two are quite the pair."

"Me and Luna?" As if she could sense you talking about her, Luna waves at the two of you. "She's like my best friend."

"You don't find her a little... strange to be around?" Hermione muses. "A little... loony perhaps? Half the school thinks she's lost her mind."

She was right in saying that a lot of your fellow students judged Luna harshly for being a little more outside the box but you never expected Hermione to be one of them. "I think... she's awesome and I'm glad she's my friend. You shouldn't judge her so harshly when you don't even know her."

You may have invited her to join you but that offer was no longer on the table as you marched back to the Ravenclaw table without another word. Slumping down in your seat exasperated sigh. "Are you okay?"

Plastering on a smile, you give her a firm nod. "Shall we start?"

"What happened over there? You seemed rather excited before."

"Nothing," Focusing on the origami, you pick up your wand.

"You shouldn't bottle things up," Luna expresses softly, picking up her wand too. "Might make your head explode."

"Does it ever bother you that people call you crazy?" You wonder.

"Not really," her head shakes. "It's all in good fun."

You never understood if Luna's belief in people was misguided or just for show. If the roles were reversed you'd certainly not enjoy having people make fun of you. "But what if it's not?"

"Then it's out of my control," Luna flashes a smile. "Shall we start."

With a nod of your head and wands at the ready, Luna starts the countdown. "3... 2..." your grip tightens around your wand. "1.... Go"

With a flick of your wrist, the paper tiger springs to life but it takes a few nudges from the end of your wand to get it moving. When you saw Luna's monstrosity trailing behind, you knew you had this race in the bag.

"I don't think Hermione likes you very much," you don't know why you decided to tell her that, it seemed only cruel in the moment. "I don't think she likes me much either as hard as I try,"

"Maybe you should stop trying," Luna's focus was exclusively on the race as you watch her. Maybe you should stop trying... that was easier for her to say because she didn't find herself with butterflies every time she saw the girl. Searching the Gryffindor table, you find Hermione sitting alone; scribbling away on a piece of parchment. "Staring can be considered quite rude, y'know?" 

Glancing back at the race, you find both racers have crossed the finish line and were now laying completely still against the table. Students were beginning to pile into the hall for lunch so it was time to clean up a little. "Sometimes it's hard not to," Reaching over the table you grab your quill. "She's just interesting- who won by the way?"

"It was you," Did you win or was she just being nice? It didn't matter now anyway so you may as well take the win.

You haven't spoken to Hermione since that day she had the audacity to question your friendship with Luna. You didn't necessarily think she had meant what she said in a bad way but it just hadn't sat right with you. It also helped that the only class you shared was Defence Against the Dark Arts so she wasn't all that hard to avoid. The page of your textbook flips over with a gust of wind as you lounge against the stone archways in the quiet courtyard. When you spot Harry, Ron and Hermione, you bury your face behind your book in hopes of not drawing any attention. If you didn't acknowledge she was there maybe you wouldn't long to run over.

"Hey," Slowly lowering the book, you spy the girl in herself looking perkier than usual. Seemingly having abandoned her friends just to come and speak to you.

"Hello," you reply quietly, keeping your eyes on the page. It was explaining how to create the Forgetfulness Potion; a beginner level potion and not at all hard to make.

"Luna said you'd be out here," You glance up at the mention of your friend's name. Why had she been talking to Luna? "And that you may require a study partner,"

Strange. She had never wanted to study with you before. "You don't have somewhere else you'd rather be?"

Hermione shakes her head. "Luna can be quite convincing but if you'd rather study alone, I can go."

"No," the reply comes a little too quickly. "I mean, uh... you can stay. I'd really like the company."

"Great, Ron and Harry are rather distracting when it comes to studying," She plops herself down at the other end of the archway by the end of your feet. Your knees were now pulled a little closer to your chest, propping up your potions book. "I can quiz you if you want?"

"Can I ask you something?" You pose the question as you sit up a little straighter trying to give her more room; handing over the book in the process.

"Of course," Taking the boom, Hermione's hand brushes over the cover but she opens it and begins flickering through the pages. She had the same textbook so you're not exactly sure what she expects to find.

"Why are you here?" The rustling of pages comes to an abrupt stop as her eyes settle on yours but only for a moment.

"To study?"

"You've never been interested in me before," you reply bluntly. "I don't see what's changed now? What exactly did Luna say?"

"Just that you like me," Wide eyes of surprise, your stomach sinks. She was joking right? She had to be. "And that you think I don't like you which is perplexing. So she told me where you usually go to study and that you'd very much appreciate my company."

"I'm gonna kill her," you growl under your breath, sinking down against the stone. How you wished the ground would open up and swallow you whole right now.

"I also thought it was only right that I apologise for the other day," you can't even bring yourself to reply; too scared you'll somehow embarrass yourself further. "I shouldn't have spoken about Luna that way- I also apologised to her. Are you ready?"

Anything to help forget about what Luna had purposely done, you nod your head a little. Setting this whole thing up was a sweet enough idea but she didn't have to straight-up tell Hermione that you liked her. Hopefully, you could just play it off as friends. A silence settled between the two of you as Hermione searches through your book. "I'm gonna say a potion and you just have to list the ingredients, simple enough?" You can feel her eyes on you but can't bring yourself to look back. "You alright?"

"Mhmm,"

"Are you sure?" She questions. "I didn't mean to embarrass you or anything. I'm sure Luna had the best of intentions."

"Just say a potion," It's even more awkward when she brings it up the fact Luna told her. "Please,"

"Okay, how about... Draught of Living Death?"

"Uh..." for a second your mind seems completely blank. Taking a deep breath you settle your nerves a little. "Standard potioning water, Powdered Root of Asphodel..." your brow furrows in concentration. "Infusion of... Wormwood? Valerian root, A Sopophorous bean and-"

"Sloth brain," Hermione finishes. "Good job. Okay, let's try..." The pages flutter between her fingers for a moment. "Exstimulo Potion."

Exstimulo potion. You rake your brain for any memory of it; If you remember correctly it was a potion used to boost magical energy. It was a beginning level potion so it won't be too complicated to make. "Re'em blood... Granian hair, Snowdrop maybe, and like... uh... Bitter root?"

"For an extra point, what colour should it be?"

That you knew almost instantly. "sky blue."

With each passing question, your confidence grew around the same speed as Hermione's smile did. You liked to think that your extensive knowledge of potions was impressive but in all honesty, some wouldn't see it that way. "You are really good at this,"

"I enjoy potions. They value knowledge over skill more than some of the other classes- that's not to say potion-making doesn't require skill and vice-versa. " You explain, moving so your legs now dangle over the edge similar to how Hermione was sitting. "It's probably my best class but I like the study of ancient runes too. What about you? I imagine you're brilliant no matter the class."

"I wouldn't go that far," Her gentle laugh fills your ears, filling you with such an innocent sense of glee. "I like most of my classes though, I would take more if I could."

"Of course you would," You giggle to yourself. "I heard in the past you used a time-turner just to attend more classes."

"Guilty," She offers you a smile. You'd done research on time turners, they were interesting little devices but it took a lot of guts to use one. "It was worth it."

"It's a pretty smart way to use one," No surprise considering who you're talking to.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure. Anything." Hermione fiddles with the corner of the page she has settled on.

"When Luna said you like me, I'm guessing she meant..."

The fire in your cheeks spread hot and fast which had the butterflies in your stomach going crazy. She really had to bring it up again? She couldn't have just ignored it and moved on? "...yeah." You admit quietly. Handing your textbook back, Hermione slips down onto her feet

"So this was her way of setting us up... hmm," Spinning on her heel, she looks to the sky. The sun was beginning to set so it was illuminated by an orange glow. "For a girl so imaginative I would have expected something a little more than a study date."

"I like studying," She sharply turns back to you.

"As do I," She offers a gentle smile. "But I think we should do something a little more traditional for a first date, don't you?"

"First date?"

"Only if you want to,"

"I... yeah. I'd love to."

[notmrskennedy]

The List

(Spencer Reid x GenderNeutral?Reader)

A/N - In order to curb the crushing weight of being bested by a vacuum cleaner at work and stressing about my calc test, I’m posting this. I hope you all like it as much as the last one. Y’all are just the fuckin sweetest. 

Also, this was inspired by @definitelynotkatesblog and her awesome work Something to Cry About. It’s the cutest freakin thing. 

Summary - A little list on what makes Reader fall asleep at night...

Word Count - 2.2k

Warnings - swearing, but what’s new?

----

1. A Podcast Episode on Epicurus and the Hellenistic Age

“Spencer, christ,” you laugh, fluffing your curls. “I can assure you that I am not touchy and sharing a bed won’t kill us.”

Spencer fidgets in his spot in the doorway, crossing his arms to keep from shaking too much. Is it wrong to be jealous of your casualness surrounding this? Is it wrong to wish away that massive crush he’s got? Just at least for one night—pretty please with a cherry on top.

You wait with a half raised eyebrow at the side of the bed he clearly doesn’t sleep on. Your hand poised above the comforter like it’ll make his decision any quicker. Like you can’t see the turmoil that has to be written across his face.

Because what does this mean? What does it mean to sleep in the same bed with your best friend for the first time? What if you end up snuggled up in the morning? Is that bad? Is that good? Is he totally secretly wishing that’ll happen and spur you in falling in love with him just as much as he’s fallen for you?

He glances one more time between your calm eyes, the made bed, the clock, the giant college t-shirt you’re wearing, finally back to your face. He nods. Adds in a dash of blushing. A teaspoon of agreeing words.

You shake your head, smile at him like he’s an idiot—though he supposes he is with you—and wrench the covers back. Like you belong. He wants you to belong.

There’s still time to back out and sleep on the couch. Does he really want to?

He wills his feet forward. Tries to tell himself that this is just like every night. Sets his watch on the nightstand, plugs his phone in, slips into the covers.

“Hey, bud?”

He hums as he turns his head to look over at you. He’s still sat up in bed, hand poised over his stack of books. Are you going to tell him to turn out the light?

You smile, shifting your weight ever so slightly. You’re the restless sort and he wonders how you work the boring middle management job that you do. Pulling your lips back into a nervous smile, you gently say, “I can’t fall asleep to the quiet, do you mind if—“

“Do you want me to read to you?”

He hopes the excitement goes unnoticed. It seems to as you chuckle. “I wish it would work. You’re too interesting, Spencer Reid. Podcasts on Hellenistic philosophy however—do you mind if I listen? It won’t be too loud.”

He shakes his head. “Not at all.” Never for you.

“Thanks, Spence,” you chirp through a stifled yawn. And as you turn the podcast on and flip over to press tightly onto the pillow, you say, “and don’t worry. I promise I keep to my side of the bed.”

And unlike the liar he wishes you are, he wakes up to find that you are very true to your word.

2. Discovery Chanel, Documentary on Revolving Door Manufacturing

He’s never seen you cry before. You make it a point to keep saying between sobs, “I hate crying in front of other people. I’m so sorry.”

He can’t fathom why it’s you that’s sorry, not after you asked him to pick you up from your mother’s. The same mother who’s apparently found it within her purview to explain just how much she hates you over a nice dinner. He’s buzzing with anger on your behalf—anger that clearly isn’t shared, though he knows it’ll come later.

It takes roughly 20 minutes to get you over the hill, trading tears for tissues. Snot for begrudging smiles at his bad jokes. He’s promised himself that he will listen—for once in his goddamn life—to your whole story without interrupting. You seem to appreciate the sentiment, punctuating the whole experience with asking for one of those hugs that just never ends.

You try to explain it—“like cats, Spencer, you know?”—like he doesn’t already empathise completely.

And weirdly enough, it gets to a point where you two switch positions without breaking the crushing amount of contact you have. It gets to a point where you insist on watching the most boring documentary he’s ever seen on revolving door manufacturing. It gets to a point where you pass out after 15 minutes and turn over into his chest.

He doesn’t dare move. Not until he’s effectively sure you won’t be waking up anytime soon. Spencer falls asleep with your soft breath fanning across his chest and his hands tangled in your hair.

5. A Librivox Recording of ‘The Five Orange Pips’

Now this is ridiculous. And he says as much as you roll your eyes. You’re both sweaty and exhausted and he’s sure he’s never met someone who looked this awake after a romp at one AM. Your eyes are twinkling the same way someone does after they’ve run a mile and feel like they need to run another. You’ve got energy and he can’t fathom it.

“Spencer,” you whine, falling back into the bedsheets. It’s really the first official time you’ve spent at his house as more than a friend—much more. He’s gotten accustomed, understanding even, to the little podcasts you listen to to fall asleep. There’s no sense in understanding your sleeping habits, not yet at least, but he understands the boring, droning voices you let lull you to sleep.

But this! Sherlock Holmes?

“Y/n, I literally have the story on my bookshelf. I could read it to you if you’re so choosy!” he mirrors your position with a huff, already reaching out to drag you over into his side. The feel of your skin is addictive. The safest kind of high he can get. The only one he really wants.

You pout, sticking out your lip. It’s adorable and breaks the tweak of frustration resting hard in his features. “Love-bug, with you talking to me, I’d never fall asleep. It just doesn’t work like that and I don’t make the rules.”

“Fine,” he mutters, effectively pulling you close enough you can share the one pillow. You giggle, kiss his nose, and reach behind you for your phone. It takes five seconds for the Librivox recording to start and he realises that as he listens to the intro, he’s already dropping off. It’s understandable—he guesses—but he hopes that one day you’ll pick a story he hasn’t read already.

9. News in Slow Spanish

Listening to you get ready for bed will never be tiring, Spencer thinks. Not when he’s playing a game with himself. He’s so terrible at guessing what you’ll choose to listen to. There’s never any rhyme or reason. Never a solid thought process that he can decipher. He’s kept to making a list—half because he likes lists, half because he wonders how long it’ll get.

Four months in and he’s at number 9—more or less.

This one shocks him though. Has him poking his head out of the bathroom, toothbrush still stuck in his mouth. You’re pulling your hair out of a pony tail, humming along to the intro music for a newscast in Spanish. Do you speak Spanish?

“Sugar plum—“ he loves every weird nickname you’ve given him over the months— “I can hear the whine of your brain from here.”

It’s then you turn to really look at him. Smirking. Gleaming in the shadows of the bathroom light. Wearing nothing more than a sports bra and shorts. His mouth runs dry as he tries to keep his thoughts present and clean.

He takes the toothbrush from his mouth. You giggle as he speaks through the spit. “Do you speak Spanish?”

“I must not talk about work enough,” you mutter to yourself, slipping into bed. Like you belong. “My entire job is setting up relationships between the hotel company I work for and Latin American, well, anything. Hotels, river cruises, restaurants—I speak Spanish more than I do English some weeks.”

He nods, finishes brushing his teeth to process the thought. No, you don’t talk about work enough, and he’s suddenly worried about what you don’t talk about. It suddenly feels suffocating. Like he doesn’t know a single thing about you. Like he’s never known anything about you.

But as you drag yourself into his side once he’s beside you, as you kiss his cheek and settle in, he’s reminded that he doesn’t need to know everything to care. For you to care back. There’s enough time in the world to figure out all the other stuff. He’s content to learn as it comes. Appreciate every new thing he can get his hands on.

And, hey, if you listen to this podcast enough, he might learn Spanish too.

11. Whose Line is it Anyway? Reruns

“No, absolutely not. I’m putting the kibosh on this. The applause will drive me wild. Please, y/n, anything else.”

15. Spencer

If there hadn’t been a nightmare involved, it wouldn’t have been as terrifying to find you not in bed. To hear the door latch click with someone’s arrival. Or someone’s departure.

He’s out of bed before he can process. Before his brain can calm down enough to remind him that it’s fine. That there’s no way a burglar is going to be as loud as you’re being in the next room over.

He jumps out of the bedroom, ready to strangle the intruder with his bare hands, when you give a startled shout, “Jesus christ!” 

Spencer settles. Realises that it’s just you in a sweatshirt and slippers. You look utterly exhausted in the dim light of the apartment. Fidgeting and restless despite the slump to your shoulders. He vaguely wonders if he should make you a pot of coffee to calm you down.

The world catches up to him and he slumps into the wall. Is it so wrong to be this decidedly tired after a nightmare that he could’ve sworn wasn’t coming back? The two of you stare each other down, both equally apprehensive to the other for decidedly similar reasons.

Spencer’s entire body is beginning to light on fire. He doesn’t want to burn you in the process.

You’re buzzing and tired and angry and there’s no reason to take any of that out on him.

“Can’t sleep?” he finally prompts.

You scrub your hands over your face, fluff your curls, in response. “I walked the stairs four times, bug. I’m so—“

“Frustrated?”

“Yes.”

He nods his head, waves you over. You half heartedly trudge over to him, lean your head into his chest and feel at least a tiny amount of frustration drift away. He pulls you both back to bed—he can’t believe he’s functioning this well, but maybe it’s just because he’s fulfilling the need to think about anything else. There’s a hesitance as you lay back down and he knows that you’ve probably tried everything. That you don’t believe you’ll get any sleep at 2:45 in the morning.

“You’ve worked through the list then?” he asks. Your eyebrows pinch as you settle onto your side, giving him your full attention. “The things that make you fall asleep,” he clarifies, “you know, that list.”

“Do you—do you keep a list?” your voice is almost judgemental, but decidedly too curious. He nods. “I’ve never had anyone care that much.”

“So where are you at?” he says instead. There’s too much to unpack. Too much for his still swimming brain. He needs something concrete. “What’ve you tried?”

You go through your list, letting every inch of agony you’ve faced for the last four hours creep over your face. Spencer watches as you turn over one more time and groan into the pillow. “I think I’d rather just suffocate at this rate.”

He chuckles. “Stop being dramatic. Come here, let me try something.”

“But—“

“Just—please, y/n?” he doesn’t understand your refusal to trust him sometimes—it’s always about such strange things, like how he does the dishes or what brand of milk to buy. You scoot over to him, settle into his chest with an indignant huff. As if you aren’t tightening around him like a vice.

He clears his throat, drags his fingers softly up and down your spine, and picks the most boring thing—for you at least—he can think of to recite: quantum physics. He feels you relax after a minute. Your eyes close and your nose sinks a little deeper into his shirt. It takes nearly two chapters to get you to zonk out. Long enough that he’s worried you were right, that he was just too interesting for you. Even if he was reciting quantum physics literature.

He keeps droning for a little time after he thinks you must be—have to be—asleep. And just as he settles, just as his eyes are closing and he could drift off peacefully, he doesn’t miss the ever quiet, ever gentle words, “You’re too interesting, Spence, too goddamn interesting.”

You roll over, your back pressed against his side. He wants to laugh. He doesn’t, just ends up dreaming of something nearly as peaceful as falling asleep beside you.

[benevolent-savage]

this is what happens when u enable me lets go

(spoilers ahoy)

Firstly, here’s some somewhat miscellaneous reasons that don’t contribute to any sort of narrative analysis but are still parts of the character I like.

His boss fight is my favorite in the game thus far. It’s not super hard, but it isn’t super easy either, and I even managed to solo it on my Balance after a few practice rounds. Sufficiently challenging without feeling unfair.

His boss fight music. It is a bop and a half, go give it a listen, my soul ascends from my body a few centimeters every time I hear it start up.

His voice. I’m sure it’s processed at least a little but gotdamn his voice is so deep and spooky it startled me when I first heard it. Very curious who his actor is; I think he and Inyanga Whitestripes share the same one. Either way, very well voiced and acted.

His design is very good. It’s the perfect mix of innocuous but also spooky sorcerer fella who knows some shit. And I was afraid that the designers would try and make him like. Handsome? Under the hood? To try and make him more sympathetic? But they didn’t and I’m glad for it.

With those out of the way, the next thing to establish, I guess: I don’t interpret Old Cob to be the main villain of arc 3, nor do I interpret Raven as such. They’re definitely antagonists, but they’re not the ultimate problem; the ultimate problem is their divorce, and how they keep dragging people into their bs. It’s established the Aethyr is a physical manifestation of their anger towards each other, and as it thins, communication between them becomes possible, as Sparck puts it in this thinly veiled metaphor toward the start of Empyrea part 2.

But Cob’s still an antagonist and I love him so I’m gonna talk about that. Most of this is going to be talking about his motivations for doing what he does, since I don’t see him quite as the ‘likes to watch the world burn for the hell of it’ archetype that others might.

One of the reasons that drew me to his character is how legit his gripe is, when put in perspective. Old Cob- or Grandfather Spider, if you prefer- is not a mortal like the other antagonists of previous arcs, which establishes he has a different thought process right off the bat. This new universe was built on his suffering and he has a grudge against the ex wife who made it, so as a god, it makes some sense he’d try to destroy it and build one he would like better. He’s fully aware that what he is doing will hurt people but decidedly doesn’t care, and I appreciate that so much. He’s chaotic as fuck and he owns it, along with his superiority complex that’s as wide as the day is long.

Yet his reasoning is like. Weirdly understandable? Like, if my ex-whatever put me in jail for a lifetime sentence and stole my kidney to pay for a new house or something, I too would go apeshit and want my fuckin kidney back. That’s mostly how I interpret his situation. He’s not doing this for hell of it, he’s doing it because he wants to get back at his ex because he’s bitter and petty and for the most part he knows this but he feels justified in doing do because she ripped out his goddamn kidney- I mean heart, and he wants that back.

And then, even after all that, he and his magic are treated as if they’re inherently evil. While, sure, Shadow is a ‘dark magic’, its actual properties aren’t anything malicious by itself. It is described as “a magic that changes reality,” and that’s it. Incredibly exploitable and you should practice caution while handling it, but used correctly it is powerful and helpful; this is likely alluding to the backlash mechanic, where likes decrease the percent of damage you take, dislikes increase the percent, and I imagine the person meant to be the literal embodiment of the magic in question to be similar in nature: not inherently harmful and lashes out if he feels he’s been mistreated.

Going off that, I’m not sure he ever wanted the FirstWorld to be destroyed, and therefore believes his incarceration to be entirely unjust; he doesn’t deny that he instigated the fight between the Titans, but when it comes to being accused of its actual destruction, he gets angry.

...Okay the written text doesn’t really display how mad he got here, but he was like. Big Angy. Super offended. Honestly, a big part of why I love and analyze the hell out of his character comes from how his VA delivers his lines and his voice in general. If you haven’t heard it for some reason, I recommend looking it up. Anyway, here he’s basically saying he didn’t destroy the First World, and even if he did, he’s suffered enough punishment because of it, to my interpretation. The only one I remember blaming him for it is Raven; Bartleby was there, and I don’t recall him blaming anything other than the Titans for it. This is of course not accounting for the various changes made to the lore since he was introduced, but they could have easily thrown in a line like ‘And now Spider plans to destroy the Spiral the way he destroyed the FirstWorld!’ or something to make it clear it was done intentionally.

And this may very well be straying into headcanon territory here, but I think he holds positive relationships very closely to him, even if things went sour in the end; he clearly still has some remaining affection for the Titans, calling them ‘the children’ and being incredibly angry at Raven for forcing one of them to destroy his Heart.

When Rat loses in Polaris he shows up to praises his efforts and even comfort him, in his own weird way. He reprimanded Scorpion in Mirage, but it’s because Scorpion wasn’t doing what his dad asked him to and got his ass kicked as a result. As for Bat, every time they’re in the same room together he pays him some sort of compliment.

Bat claims that he and his brothers are meant to be his tools, and to some extent that’s true, but he also genuinely cares about them, and it’s really interesting to see a villain defect from the usual ‘not caring about anyone other than themselves’ and openly show affection for his kids while still managing to be an incredible asshole.

In line with this is his relationship with the Wizard. There is, of course, a foundation of manipulation to their dynamic, at least to some degree. I thoroughly believe that Spider was overshadowing Coleridge, at least partly, so our character could bust him out of prison.

And while this is happening, he regains some of his spent power and removes threats to it as well, namely Morganthe, using the Wizard’s help. In fact, I have very little doubt that he was at least partially responsible for her fall; his timing on that two-liner was too on the nose.

But even with that, I think he genuinely treasures the Wizard’s help and company, which is why he attempts on four different occasions to either sway them to his side, or warn them away from what he’s doing.

Boy, I want that vacation, but it’s your fault I’m here.

And then, of course, his relationship with Raven, something that is basically a summation of his character arc. Laden with baggage and tragic in concept, it is my belief that most of what he’s doing isn’t because he genuinely hates the Spiral or he wants to get back at her, but because he loved her and treasured their relationship; so upon her mistreating him, he lashed out at everything she’d made and detested it as a result. But only because he felt betrayed and hurt so he has to inflict that on other people because he is, as aforementioned, a petty and bitter old fuck.

Moving off that line of thinking, an admirable quality he possesses is how smart he is. This guy has so many wrinkles in his brain it must look like a raisin. Well, perhaps not ‘smart’ exactly, but how good he is at manipulating certain situations to his advantage. Like in Mirage; you just know that he was fully expecting Mellori to be there and fully planned to use her as a back up plan, or you could even argue that the whole debacle in Mirage was a ploy to get his hands on her, while having the added possible benefit of things actually working out.

Actually his scheme in Mirage was really interesting now that I think about it. His aim was to turn back time to when the FirstWorld was whole, further implying that he never wanted its destruction in the first place. It would also, of course, be a time where he had his Heart and would have the ability to avoid having it ripped out again. This would involve not having the Titans fight each other again, or at least not starting it and suffering the consequences. It would be everything he wanted to achieve knocked out in one go with minimal muss or fuss, compared to other methods. It’s probably a part of why he shows up personally to bargain with Eerkala and the Cabal, and why he directly intervenes in our Wizard’s efforts to stop him; it was too important to trust to any of his kids, so knowing Scorpion probably wouldn’t have been able to execute it anyway, he used his kid as a distraction for the most part.

I also like looking into the fact that his element, besides Shadow, is Storm, as opposed to pure Shadow or Death, as most major antagonists are. Storm is a school based on invention, experimentation and improvement. This is something that interests me for two reasons: one, the magic of major antagonists is always a part of their character, Malistaire the most blatantly, and two, because of this line he says in Mirage.

To my interpretation, this would imply that he sees the Spiral as something that could be improved. And as a god, he would of course find it his obligation to try and fix this flaw. When he made the barter with the Cabal, I don’t doubt he was being at least partially honest about restoring the FirstWorld; it would certainly fix the flaw it has in the context of stealing his internal organs, but he would also probably seek to improve it, make it more suited to Shadow or something.

Something else I find intriguing is how weirdly honest he is; I don’t recall him ever lying to us once, unless you count omitting certain facts as lying. But that’s absolutely something I can see him using against people, like “I didn’t lie to you, I just didn’t tell you, your fault for not asking ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ .” As said before, he;s really good at manipulating people and he weaponizes whatever he can; @that-wizard-oki​ made a really great post about how he uses conflicts- his fault or not- to his advantage, and does his own thing in the background without interruption, Mirage and Neumia probably being the best example of this, with Scorpion and the Cabal serving as distractions while he either carries out things himself or gives instructions.

To pull all of this together narratively, I think it’s important to consider this line from Mellori during one of their confrontations:

He feels powerless, so he puffs up his god status. He has little power to fight with, compared to before, so he mostly manipulates and creates back-up plans while causing conflicts to serve as distractions. His love hurt him, so he lashes out at others and drags them into his problems.

You may ask, “But Sam, these are all bad qualities, why should we like him because of this?” And I would respond “Because it makes him a complex and interesting antagonist.” The kind of character that executes his shitty actions in such a way that you can’t help but respect- even just for the level of dramatics put in to it- while also having a motive that makes you stop and consider that maybe he has a point but is very much handling the situation the wrong way.

Like, c’mon, he ticks so many villain boxes. Tragic backstory? Check. Blatant thespian who owns it? Check. Gets his hands dirty before the climax of the story? Check. Smart/ manipulative/ has back-up plans? Check. Understandable, strong motives? Check.

He’s got layers. Like onion. I felt like there was always something new to discover about him, and for that I can assert my opinion that he’s one of the best characters in Wizard101.

lmao if you read this far into my simp-for-shithead post congrats. feel free to shoot me more asks on the subject bc i cant write persuasive-essay-esque format anymore my brain is rotting. if you will excuse me, im off to listen to the chronoverge combat track for the 82937487734th time

[jasthelazyelf]

Everything is fine

I think we can all agree that the angelic event made everyone uncomfortable. But weirdly it gave me inspiration to try and write something, making a little twist to the whole event. I am a beginner writer, so please keep that in mind. ^^;

GN MC Word count: 2800-ish Angst-y with a good ending WARNINGS: none that I know of outside of somewhat following the angelic event. Let me know if I should state something.

At first it felt like it was supposed to be like any other student council meeting. No one knew what it was about, the notification having been sent only a few minutes sooner. But Solomon has also been called over. That was rather unusual. After a bit of usual bickering among all the brothers, the door into the room opened and Diavolo entered the room alongside the two angel students.

'Huh, I wonder what this is all about, this doesn’t happen often…‘ MC thought to themself.

„I’m happy that you all could join me here,“ greeted Diavolo everyone in his cheery voice as he always did.

Diavolo took his usual seat above everyone else, looked at Simeon and gave him a little nod. The angel explained the situation with audible excitement in his voice. The angels wanted to host a party for the exchange students and the brothers. They felt like everyone deserved a celebration after their hard work.

The reactions… varied, to say the least. Mammon already had his doubts, but Beel was obviously happy to have the opportunity to eat Celestial food again. MC was looking forward to getting to know the angels better.

Belphie groaned. „What a pain… We don’t have to dress formally, do we?“

Asmo, on the other hand, was extremely excited about this. „I’ve got an idea! While we’re at it, why don’t we all dress up like angels?“

„Asmo, I am not really sure that is a good idea,“ complained MC.

„And that’s precisely why I’m rejecting that idea now,“ agreed Lucifer with MC immediately.

„Aw, come on, it doesn’t have to be anything complex! A pair of cute angel wings would do!“ exclaimed Asmo.

„No,“ entered Diavolo the conversation. „If you’re dressing up, you’re going all out.“

Before anyone could further complain, Diavolo quickly cast a spell and all the brothers’ clothes transformed into magnificent Celestial clothes. MC was shocked how fast everything happened and didn’t really know how to react. Diavolo was obviously in awe, he hasn’t seen the brothers in these clothes for such a long time.

„Wow! You all still look as beautiful as ever! Seeing you all like this sure brings back memories… What do you think of their angel forms, MC?“ Simeon turned to MC with an expectant look in his eyes.

„This… this doesn’t seem right…“ they answered, worried.

„That’s because there’s nothing right about this… I never imagined myself living another day in this form…“ added Lucifer. The only one who didn’t really seem to care was obviously Asmodeus.

„Oh, that’s right, I almost forgot. Michael sent you all presents as thanks for taking such good care of us angels,“ remembered Simeon. For some reason, MC started to feel extremely anxious. This wasn’t supposed to be happening, why would they be forced into opening old wounds? Was there a way to stop this mess? They didn’t want to be seen as rude, though, so they kept quiet.

The presents happened to be small nicely ornamented bangles. Even with their simple design they looked quite fancy.

„Whoa, this is pure gold!“

„And they’re so pretty!“

One by one, each brother put on one of the bangles. Once everyone got theirs on, the air around started to feel a little different and the bangles shone brightly. A cracking sound was heard, and the light of the bangles went out again.

„What just happened?“ wondered MC loudly.

„Well, this is a rare occurrence. It seems that whatever spell Michael put on the bangles reacted to my magic, meaning the spells combined into something new!“ exclaimed Diavolo. If nothing else, he seemed rather excited about how things were unfolding.

„… Meaning?“

„It has some sort of effect now, but we still don’t know what it is.“

Since no one knew what they were dealing with, all the brothers collectively decided to get out of these clothes once and for all. They all found they were unable to. MC furrowed their brows. This situation was getting weirder by the minute.

„Oh, I forgot to mention that the bangles have a special spell cast on them,“ said Simeon somewhat guilty. „The bangle makes the wearer behave in a more… righteous manner, if you will… Your hearts will be overflowing with kindness and purity!“

Lucifer got visibly uneasy by the words of his former brother.

„Why would he do such a thing?“ asked he.

„It’s so our party will be full of elegance and grace!“ cheered Simeon, guilt suddenly completely gone out of his voice. This wasn’t very typical of the angel. This wasn’t the angel MC knew.

„We will need some time to find a way to get rid of the spell, until then, you will have to stay like this,“ explained Diavolo quickly and that seemed to be the end of that conversation. So, MC went home to the House of Lamentation with their new angelic demons squad.

They decided to help the brothers however they could. After processing what just happened, they made the plan to check on Lucifer first. He seemed to be… not that much different at first. He let MC know he didn’t have many happy memories from when he was an angel. And how he felt so much better as a demon. MC could understand him, even if maybe a bit distantly.

Lucifer suddenly grabbed MC by their waist and pulled them harshly to the mattress of his bed. In that same moment something seemed to click in him. As fast as he surprised them by his action, he got slowly up and apologised profusely for what he just did.

‚Okay, that is different, he wouldn’t suddenly pull back like that. Maybe the bangle finally had an effect on him?‘ thought MC. Lucifer advised them to leave the room, he wanted to find a way to break that spell as fast as he could.

As they stepped out, they immediately ran into Satan. He invited them to the library and MC decided to follow him there.

As they made themselves comfortable, Satan described his unease with this situation. The one thing that gave the initial spark to his very being was now… gone. All that wrath he felt all the time has vanished. He was left only with peace. An inner peace, that was so foreign to him, he didn’t know at all how to react now. MC tried to calm him down. And he just stood up, apologized himself and left to his room in embarrassment.

At that same moment MC got a text from Levi to meet him in his room. Already feeling sick but wondering how he was doing, they cautiously opened the door to his room. As soon as they did so, they had him around their neck.

He was so energetic. And his room was completely spotless. MC gulped. This wasn’t their Levi. This wasn’t the adorable otaku who was slowly coming out of his shell. This wasn’t the sweet Levi who always invited them to play games together or binge watch a new anime.

„Levi, this isn’t like you at all! What happened to our resident otaku?“ cried MC out as he handed them one of his most precious Ruri-chan figurines.

„What? Did my whole personality resolve solely on being a shut in otaku? There’s no need for that now! I don’t have to endlessly hide anymore. I can finally properly express my feelings towards you, MC! I love you so much, MC, you’re the best thing I stumbled upon in my entire life!“

MC stared at him, shocked. Tears made their way into his eyes. As much as they wanted him to admit his true feelings toward them, this was not the way they wanted it to happen. This was all too sudden, and Levi wasn’t his true self. They clutched the figurine tightly yet carefully to their chest and ran out of his room to their own as fast as they could. They made sure to place it somewhere safe so that she could return the figurine to him once he was back to his old self.

Their D.D.D. pinged again. They were all supposed to meet in the dining room.

Once they got there, they were met with quite few dishes that looked delicious. Simeon, who was there among the brothers with Solomon and Luke, announced that these were dishes to be given at the party and if it was okay to leave it like that or if there were things to be changed. As Solomon saw MC, he discretely made his way towards them.

„Hey Sol,“ they greeted sorrowfully.

„My, my, this doesn’t feel right, does it? This isn’t the true House of Lamentation without all the bickering…“ Solomon sighed. This conversation made MC ironically feel a little better. At least someone had all their senses together.

„They don’t even realize it…“

„They sure don’t and it’s making me uneasy.“ At the same time, Mammon appeared before the two of them with an excited expectant smile. „Oh, that’s right, Mammon, we’re supposed to go shopping for the party now, aren’t we?“ asked Solomon and already started to make his way towards the door, giving MC one last worried look once Mammon got in front of him.

Everyone went to do their own thing and MC visited Beel in the kitchen. He was happy MC was there with him.

„I’ve got something for you,“ he said as he showed them a plate of what he cooked.

„For me? Let’s share it together!“ they were touched by this gesture. And they wanted to share with him like they always did. Maybe the bangle didn’t have an effect on him after all? It would make sense; he has always been so nice to them.

„No, I want you to have all of this. I realized it’s much better to make stuff for others than just eating everything myself. When I’m hungry, I want to think of other people and make them happy with my food!“ He smiled with that big puppy smile of his.

MC dropped their fork. It affected him after all. And it was clearly making him suffer, making him not eat.

They ran out of the kitchen and went for the attic immediately. They hoped they could hide there until this nightmare of a day was finally over. Only they found Belphie there. Surprisingly awake. And surprisingly active. It looked like he was cleaning the attic on his own.

„Oh, hey MC! Look, doesn’t it look so much better now?“ he asked excitedly. MC stopped in their tracks right by the door to the room and couldn’t believe their eyes. „I am not going to waste another eternity sleeping. There’re so many things to see, so many people to meet, I don’t even know how I could just sleep all of the time! But I finally found my motivation. And I will start by properly spending time with my family.“ He smiled brightly.

MC quickly apologized to him and ran away again. It almost looked like they couldn’t hide anywhere. But they knew who was always good when they were feeling stressed. Yes, Asmo was always willing to spend time with them and making them relaxed by a spa day.

As they entered his room, they saw him standing by the table with all his different beauty products on it. As he heard his door opened, he turned around. Seeing MC, his eyes sparkled up as he sat them on the chair by his table.

„There you are, sweetie! I’ve been waiting for you! Here, this is for you!“ he said as he shoved almost everything into their hands.

„Asmo, what are you doing?“ they could barely fight the tears falling down, but somehow they still managed. Asmodeus didn’t seem to notice the state they were in at all.

„I have no need for these products anymore! I realized that it doesn’t really matter how I look like on the outside!“ explained Asmo.

„… Because it’s what’s on the inside that truly counts,“ added MC. This was Asmodeus, though. The demon who always took extremely good care of himself. Even though it was sometimes hard to see through it, MC knew there was so much more to him than just his looks. Under that seemingly confident face was a fragile soul that needed someone to love him for who he truly was.

And MC loved him for everything he came with. This was unnecessary.

„Exactly. Oh dear, look at your hands! They’re so dry! Wait a moment, I have a cream that will work wonders on your skin type.“ He found the cream and they let him massage it into their hands.

MC couldn’t respond anymore. To not upset Asmodeus, they quickly took all his things, thanked him and hurriedly exited the room. Once they took his stuff to their room, they had one more brother to check up on.

They entered Mammon’s room and saw a lot of boxes full of expensive and valuable things on the floor. They looked up and saw Mammon going down the stairs with another box.

„What is this all about?“ MC asked, practically emotionless by now. The light has gone out of their eyes by now, depression setting deep in their heart. Mammon didn’t seem to notice, though.

„I don’t really need all of this stuff. There are people way less fortunate than us and I want to help them. So, I decided to sell my stuff and donate to the people in the human realm to help those less unfortunate ones. I can’t live anymore knowing I do nothing for them.“

This was finally their breaking point. MC turned on their heels and headed towards their room, head low, tears falling freely before they could hide in their last only place of peace. They decided to wait there until it was time for the party. They decided to take a nap for now, hoping it’d make them feel a bit better.

It did not, but they decided to attend the party anyway. They decided to stick with Solomon and Luke who were standing more on the side of this whole event.

„They’re so nice to each other, it’s making me uncomfortable,“ Luke broke the silence first.

„Yes, it is making me physically sick to look at them like this,“ added Solomon. You were glad there were at least two other people who stayed sane.

Diavolo soon joined them and enthusiastically watched the six demon brothers feast, as Lucifer joined Diavolo a few seconds later.

„It is quite a sight, isn’t it?“ said Lucifer, with a rather sad look on his face.

„Oh, Lucifer? You’re not with them? I take it you managed to break the spell?“ asked Diavolo curiously.

The demon, still stuck in his angel costume, sighed. „Yes, but I still can’t take off these clothes on my own.“ He suddenly smiled sadistically. „Let’s bring them to their old selves, but let’s first watch them for a little bit more.“

Their vision suddenly went blank and they jolted awake. They gasped for air, panicking about what just happened. As they realized where they were, they eventually managed to calm down, realizing it was all just a bad dream. But what a dream it was.

It felt both so real and unreal at the same time, as dreams often do. They looked at their D.D.D. to see what time it was and saw that it was time for breakfast already. Even though it was Saturday, they learned very soon during their stay that even on weekends it was a tradition to eat breakfast together.

MC slipped slowly out of their bed and headed towards the bathroom. They were pleased that the breakfast already smelled in the hallway. Once they splashed some cold water on their face to properly wake up, changed their clothes into something comfortable and brushed their hair, they headed downstairs to eat.

As they entered the room, they saw that the usual chaos ruled the whole room. Mammon and Levi were arguing over Mammon owing him yet more money, Satan was giggling with Belphie while provocatively eyeing Lucifer, Asmodeus was trying to take a selfie with his breakfast and yelling at Beel, who just stole the very good-looking sandwich right out of his plate and Lucifer was just trying to enjoy his morning coffee and newspaper, while his usual headache was slowly settling in.

They couldn’t help but smile as they entered the room and took their usual seat by the table. They sighed in relief. Everything was fine.

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

Are you going to finish the Tiny Virgil AU? Cause the last chapter ended on a cliffhanger. If you don't feel like finishing the whole thing, you could maybe give us bullet points of what was supposed to happen?

Ahaha whoops, I kinda forgot that fic. at the rate I'm going, it'll take like ten years for that or any of my other fics to get finished. Tbh, I actually have a whole outline for that one? Acantha (@theeternalspace) and I brainstormed the rest ages ago and then I took our thoughts and bullet-outlined it out.

The thing is? Like, emotionally I want to hold onto my thoughts and finish it, but if I am to be completely honest, realistically it probably won't happen. Because I wanna prioritize Gibbous over it and all.

so tldr: I'd like to write more installments, but in the case I never finish it and/or you don't care about spoilers, check the read more for what happens.

warnings: hurt/comfort, crying, morally grey sides (all sides are present so beware idk its been awhile im not up to date with how the fandom handles this sorta thing)

Chapter 5

Anx cant believe he forgot about Thomas!

He was so caught up in Creativity wanting to play with him, he's forgotten about his whole purpose

He goes to the real world, worried about all the things that could've befallen his host without his guidance

Anx is confused to be faced with adult Morality and another...side?

"Thomas?"

Thomas is big, Anx is not

This can't be real, can it? How can he protect Thomas like this?

Roman shows up, but the damage is dealt (Ro and Pat converse a bit)

Virge starts panicking and panics even more when he sees Thomas affected by it

Ro & Pat try to comfort Virge but no use

It's Thomas who gets to him. Who is...helping? Why?

"Wh-why are you so nice? I'm bad, I hurt you--I do bad things."

Thomas looks sad at that. He tries to explaining that he doesnt think Virge is bad, he can be good

Virge doesnt really understand but at the same time...Thomas loves him??

Thomas offers him a hug and he accepts it. Still so confused but at least his host loves him.

Chapter 6

Virgil ends up tuckered up in Thomas' arms

"Crying is exhausting, don't like it" He complains to Roman.

"I know. You've been very brave, little prince."

It's not that late but Thomas seems nervous. "I should go to bed." (Basically feels like if he doesnt adhere to his childhood bedtime, he'll get in trouble aka lil Virgil's influence)

Patton asks if he'd like for him to accompany him and Thomas nods

Roman and Virgil end up back in the mindscape with Patton promising to follow soon after

Roman tucks him into bed

Patton comes back, looking tired, and both Roman and Patton agree to talk with Logan in the morning about things

in the morning with Virgil still asleep, Lo, Pat and Ro talk briefly

Logan shares some theories (Age regression maybe?)

Patton tells them what's up with Thomas

Roman decides to bother the Dark Sides. "If this happened before in the past, they would know, wouldn't they? And if they're behind it this time then I can get them to stop it"

They decide to have Patton look out for Thomas again and for Logan to watch over Virgil while Roman ventures out to the Dark Sides

Chapter 7

Logan mulls over what is happening

Grateful that Thomas is going to bed early at least

He is not worried, he is Logic

Tries focusing hard on his book

Virgil wakes up, disappointed to see Logan and not Roman

Roman ventures through the dark mindscape

infodump detail on how it differs vs. the regular mindscape, quiet, silence nobody is around

"HELLO" Roman screams as his brother pops up

"What do I owe brother dear for this visit?"

Virgil is worried about Roman, but Logan placates him a bit

The two end up doing a puzzle

During which Virgil randomly hugs Logan

When Logan asks why, Virgil explains "You're scared. Hugs make me feel less scared"

Logan thanks him for the sentiment but insists he is not scared

"You're scared, I can feel it. It's okay, I get scared lots of times so you don't have to." Virgil says

And then Logan's fear dissipates

He stares at Virgil, shocked, because did tiny virge take his fear away??

And if so, if tiny virge knows how to do this, has adult Virgil been doing it without them knowing??

Chapter 8

"I know you did it" Roman growls. It makes sense really. Remus did random things for sh*t and giggles

Remus blinked "Oh! You found out about ____, didn't you?"

"What no!" Roman says, disgusted. "I'm talking about Virgil."

"Wait, you think I did it with Virgil? Mr. Emo?"

"NO!" Roman snaps. "Stop playing dumb!"

The two have a scuffle, ending up with Remus having a sword at Ro's throat (who is stuck in green goop)

"I really don't know what you mean." Remus says, "What is it exactly do you think I did again?"

Logic must hate him, Anx thinks, otherwise why would he be looking strangely at him?

but its okay, even if it really really really hurts, Anx has done it before and would do it again to keep from any of them feeling pain

He asks if Anx took his fear away and he nods

surely this must be a happy thing but Logic seems even more upset

the fear grappling tiny virge is foreign. It's so different than fears he's taken before. He finds himself drowning in it. he doesnt quite understand most of it. But there's fears about himself, Logic being scared for him, not of him. (basically oh boy adult fears are much harder to process for a child Anxiety)

Logic grips his hand and asks for his fears back

"I can't" Tiny Virge says, shaking like a leaf

Logan asks it again. Virge shakes his head "I can't, I--I don't know how!"

He really doesnt know how. Usually he just holds it all in until it explodes.

Logic echoes some of what the fear is telling him, that Logic cares for him. And weirdly, it means a lot for him to hear that Logic actually cares.

But noooo he must only care because of Thomas, right?

Anyways this is resolved somehow idk lmao and then Logan is called to help with Thomas

Virgil promises Lo he'll be okay, not wanting to stop him from being able to help their host

Logan promises he'll back momentarily

Virgil squeezes Zola and tries his best to stay calm

Previously on Rem and Ro

Roman spills the beans on whats up

Deadbeat silence

Remus then babbles about how he has no clue what Roman is talking about, but is super intrigued and wants to check this out for himself

He sinks out as Roman grabs onto his ankle, but isn't enough to stop him from sinking out.

Chapter 9

"Hiya!"

Little Anx squeaks, shadows gathering at his feet, ready to strike at....

A Green-Dressed Creativity? He dresses fancily like him.

"Princey?"

Green laughs. "No, I'm The Duke! Princey's my brother!"

And Lil Virge is kinda confused but rolls with it because Creativity pretending to be someone else/splitting himself into two is a very Creativity thing to do and isn't too worried about it.

Roman shows up, fuming

However, because of Virgil, he has to play nice

They end up having a pretend tea party

Roman finds himself shocked that Remus is decent with kids? Or at least a Kid Anxiety??

He still says outrageous things but Virge giggles at them (Basically kids really have no baseline for moral right-or-wrong, they find talk of murder funny)

Roman feels a bit guilty/regretful realizing he never played much with Remus growing up

Eventually, Logan pops up slightly frazzled

He's relieved to see the twins there looking after Virgil

Explains the situation w/ Thomas to Roman while Remus and Virgil play

Patton pops up, looking slightly weary, leading Roman and Logan to insist he take a day off from watching Thomas

Upon seeing Logan & Patton, Virgil runs up to hug Logan, but shies away from Patton

Patton tries to hide his disappointment about this

Remus tries to leave upon seeing Lo and Pat are here

but Virge clings to him, insisting he stays

The Others agree, and Remus perks up a bit.

Somewhere, there's a discussion about Virge again, late at night?

Logan reveals Virgil taking fears from him

At some point it's decided to leave Janus out of it as it's unknown how little Virge would react to him and the fact that Janus most likely knows what's up and has chosen to stay out of it

It's decided that Remus and Roman will traverse the Imagination to see if there's a solution there

Logan will be with Thomas

Meanwhile Patton will look after Virgil

Chapter 10

Patton's POV

Little Virge is upset about both Remus and Roman leaving

they try to placate him but it does little. (Telling him how they'll stay safe and they don't want him going because they want to keep him safe)

Patton's heart breaks but he has to holds back Virge.

Eventually the two have heart-to-heart

Apparently the two had a classic childhood spat, that means a lot to Virge even tho poor Pat doesnt remember the spat at all.

Pat tells them they're the best of friends now, even shows him evidence

Virge feels a little better

Sees a snake stuffy in Pat's room, asks about Dee

Patton deflects

The two end up making cookies together

The Imagination is a bust, although the twins return squabbling in a good mood

And Remus has a "present" for Virgil, who delights in it.

They chat, when suddenly Virgil screams

Chapter 11

Virgil's POV

He's been trying his best to stay calm, to hold back the anxiety gained from Logan and also the other fears swelling inside of him

But it's too much, and push comes to shove. A burning sensation occurs

And it explodes

He has a panic attack and realizes it extends into the real world

Overwhelmed and upset, he runs off.

He runs off to his hideaway and sits there

Getting bombarded with fears

He's there for what feels like hours when--

"Oh my dear Anxiety" A crooning, unfamiliar yet familiar voice says

Virgil looks, surprised, to see Deceit!! There's a lot more scales and he's wearing a funny outfit but it's him

He is happy to see him albeit sobbing into his capelet because of what happened.

Dee holds onto him going, “Shhhh everything’s alright. Shhh it’s not your fault. It’s my fault, I’m sorry—“ and Virgil interrupts shrieking it can’t be his fault, because in his mind Dee would never do anything bad and it hurts Dee to know that young Virge has so much faith in him.

"You'll hate me" But Little Virge refuses to accept that. "You're lying, you don't mean that"

"Okay, you caught me. "We stay best friends forever" OR something along those lines

Dee convinces him to bring back to the others, that they don't hate him

When they return, the others "freaking out" is a mild understatement.

Dee slowly produces tiny Virge out of his capelet.

Hisses at them to keep their distance because crowding Virge will only freak him out

Apologies and misunderstandings are made clear

Thomas summons all of them and they all have a sleepover

Virgil falls asleep snuggled between Remus and Dee

Chapter 12

Maybe Roman's POV?

Along with Thomas, they have a discussion

Dee waits a bit, before revealing that he's behind the reason for Virge's current state.

As his role Deceit, he has access to both truth and lies. One lie is that Virgil believes his kid self died and is no longer a part of him--attempting to actively repress those memories

He then points out the childish aspects of each side's function. (Maybe Logan input something about growing up and stuff)

P: "But why would Virgil think this?" J: "oh gee, I wonder why. It isn't like he was made to feel like an outcast from a very young age or anything"

Instant Guilt for all

Anyways Dee explains some mishap occurred, thus reverting Virgil back to this state

You get the sense Janus isn't telling the whole truth.

Janus says he has a way to fix things, and that's when there's a noise

"Anx?"

Virge is there, standing incredibly still, slightly heavy breathing

"Anx, it's okay, we're not upset"

Little Virge heard everything and is upset but he understands

He knows Thomas needs big him, and the others reassure him that they'll be there for him, each having a small moment with him

Then he starts glowing brightly, causing them all to be alarmed, Janus included

Chapter 13

Virgil is back and boiiiiiii is he freaked the heck out

The Others including Thomas are all there, F*CK how can he ever recover after they saw him like that?

He's both embarrassed and mortified

Not to mention it hurts to have two sets of childhood memories rattling inside his head. One that was lonely and painful, and the other that was happy but fake

He snaps at Janus and ends up fleeing in his room

He doesn't duck out

He cant do that

He just doesnt....go out. He doesn't want to hear the jokes start. He doesnt want the babying or the pitying to start.

He does his job and that is that.

(inwardly he knew this would happen, but not like this)

They try summoning him (Thomas included) but he wont come out. His door is locked.

Patton slips a note under the door but Virge refuses to look at it.

Blares MCR

Somehow Zola appears in his room, and he'd like to tear it apart or something, but he can't help but squeeze the stuffed bat tight and cry for the childhood that never was.

A week passes, and there's a very sad prince at his door

Virgil ends up letting him in because look, he's not a monster

it's very...awkward at first

but they eventually have a heart-to-heart and some snarky banter

and Virgil is very confused when Princey feels the need to apologize to him

They also discuss Janus and Virgil very reluctantly agrees to talk to him

Virgil ends up talking with Janus over tea

Janus doesn't really look at him, staring at his teacup as he explains himself

and dammit, Janus has hurt him (but then again so has Virgil hurt Janus)

But a part of him really misses him. A part of him that has always missed him.

Janus explains he just wanted to know where he went wrong in their friendship, that he went the round-about way because knew Virgil wouldn't talk to him but messed with things he shouldnt and accidentally caused Virgil to revert to the age before their friendship started fraying by accident.

He admits that he almost wanted to leave Virgil that age, to take advantage of it as a way to start again, but ultimately couldnt let himself take advantage of virgil in that way

He also apologizes, telling Virgil "Showing weakness isn't bad. I told you once that you had to stay strong and not let anyone see it, but I was wrong" and that he understands if Virgil doesnt accept his apology right away or if ever

And Virgil doesnt completely accept, not yet, but he's willing to try

It ends happily with them going down to dinner with the others. (possibly Virgil having moments with the others??)

the end

BONUS, Written Scene from Chapter 11 w/ Virge's and Janus's reunion because I was self-indulgent and wrote ahead

“Oh my dear Anxiety,” A silky voice croons, so achingly familiar.

He sniffles, raising his head to meet eyes with the much older face of his best friend; Deceit. It has to be, there is no other side whose left side of face is reptilian in nature. He’s crouching beside Virgil, only one set of arms present at the moment. He’s wearing a funny outfit, but then Deceit has always dressed funny, just like Creativity. Neither of them have ever been worried about standing out.

“Dee!” Anxiety cries out, all but flinging himself onto the older side. The velocity of it flattens the two onto the ground, with Deceit letting a small grunt from the impact. He’d be more worried about possibly hurting Deceit if he wasn’t too busy bawling his eyes out into the strange cape Deceit is wearing.

Deceit strokes his hair, so soft and gentle. Then two sets of arms hoist Anxiety upwards, settling him onto Deceit’s lap. Deceit hugs Anxiety, cocooning him in a warm embrace. For a moment, everything feels normal again. As if they’re all kids still and Anxiety had sought Deceit for comfort after a bad nightmare.

Then Deceit speaks, saying words meant to be comforting. They are comforting at first, until Deceit says things that don’t make sense. And Anxiety knows Deceit is a liar, that he says things that aren’t true. But he knows when Deceit isn’t lying. They’re best friends after all.

“Shhh, it’ll be alright. Shhh, it’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s not your fault. It’s mine. I hurt you and I’m--”

“No!”

“No?” Deceit repeats.

“No, it--it--you didn’t do anything bad, you wouldn’t!” Anxiety says, nearly shrieking, “You’d never, ever, hurt me. We’re best friends and best friends don’t do that.”

A strange, choking noise erupts from Deceit. Anxiety looks to see Deceit’s human eye glistening. His best friend’s lips quiver, like Anxiety gets when he gets too scared to speak. Except Deceit is never scared. He always knows what to say in a situation, confident in ways Anxiety could never be.

“Oh, I’ve forgotten what you were like at this age,” Deceit whispers, so low that Anxiety thinks he wasn’t meant to hear it. Then Deceit shakes his head, a weird laugh escaping him. “You’re going to hate me, Anx. Or rather, you’re going to hate me more after this is all over.”

“You’re lying,” Anxiety accuses, his fingers tightening around the fabric of Deceit’s cloak, “You don’t mean that. I love you, Dee, you’re my best friend and--and...Big Me is still best friends with you, right?!”

Deceit inhales sharply, as if there’s something stuck in his throat. Before Anxiety can even grow concerned for his well being, he breaths out a long dramatic sigh.

He rolls his eyes, smirking, “Alright, you caught me.”

“I did?”

“Yes. I was only lying to scare you out of crying,” Deceit assures him, “I didn’t mean to scare you into thinking we weren’t best friends still. Of course we are.”

“G-good,” Anxiety huffs, “don’t scare me like that, Dee, I don’t like it!”

“I won’t do it again, I promise,” Deceit says, his smirk fading a bit as he takes on a somber expression, “it still isn’t your fault for what happened, Virg--Anxiety. Neither I or any of the others think it is. They certainly despise you for it.”

“Despise?” Anxiety’s heart jumps a bit, “Oh! You mean...you’re saying...they don’t despise me?”

“I don’t know,” Deceit raises an eyebrow, “Why don’t you try reaching out? See what their fears tell you.”

Anxiety closes his eyes, sticking his tongue out in concentration. If he thinks super hard, he can envision everyone's fears like spider webs, branching all over the mindscape, interconnected in some ways and in others, completely disconnected in each side's little corner.

And he is the itsy bitsy spider, that scuttles about and maintains the webs to some degree. Because a little bit of fear is good, it helps keep Thomas alive. So he traces the webs and searching for what Dee suggested. There is one thread present, in every nook and cranny of the web, he searches, even in the splinter-offs. One fear that repeats and loops through the whole network that he has never seen before.

"Oh." Anxiety breathes, eyes widening. They're not afraid of him. They're afraid for him, worried about his safety and wellbeing. Anxiety doesn't know what to think of that.

[soiruntotheriver]

On the subject of Silver

It’s come to my attention that there’s a lot of theories about John Silver’s motivations floating around out there. I’m a relatively new member of the fandom so forgive if any/all of this has been said, but here’s my two cents on the subject. 

When we first meet Silver he seems to have one main motivation: Survival. As subsets to that category one could say he also would like to Get Rich Enough To Never Worry About Going Hungry and Not Feel Feelings Too Much, Thanks. He endeavors to achieve these things through whatever means necessary, abandoning pride, lawfulness, and any sense of guilt to do so. That is not to say that he doesn’t care about anything/anyone else, but his own survival supersedes pretty much everything. He can justify this, in part, because he sees the world in shades of gray. He would consider himself a realist, but is actually a bit of a pessimist. Life has revealed itself to be chaotic and cruel, so much so that John cannot imagine that there is any meaning behind it. And even if there is some grand purpose, my god it must be horrible, so yeah no thanks. Silver would rather have faith in nothing except himself because it’s the surest way to not get hurt and/or die horribly. This outlook sounds dour but it probably felt very freeing once he’d gotten the hang of it. I’m sure John convinced himself that he was dancing through life, though really he was only kinda sneaking through it. 

Now I think our boy would have carried on his merry way, manipulating and thieving until he got a share of the treasure, before disappearing off the face of the earth. IF. IF. He hadn’t met Flint. And, subsequently the crew members he befriended, Madi, etc. But it started with Flint. That magnificent, crazy bastard. 

At first, Flint was just the most likely means of securing the treasure. Silver saw a dauntless, conniving, ambitious, intelligent, commanding, dangerous, ginger sexpot, honed in on dauntless and dangerous, and decided that Flint had the makings of a powerful, but very much temporary, ally. That was the plan. 

Unfortunately for Silver, somewhere along the way, he started to get sucked into Flint’s orbit. He wasn’t a believer, not yet, but he did start to enjoy the push and pull of engaging with his equal in both intellect and will. And maybe he began to be seduced a little, despite himself, by the feeling of belonging as a member of a crew, by being one half of a partnership, by being able to stand alongside such a strong and intriguing character as Captain Flint. He begins to feel valued and, horror of horrors, connected to something. But then Flint’s priorities shift. And he not only lies to Silver about it, he also attempts to manipulate Silver’s loyalties by reminding him that, outside of the crew, he doesn’t matter/no one gives two shits about him. Yikes.

And so we’re back to every Silver for himself, just the way it should be. The only goal is the gold. Fuck everything else, Captain Flint especially. Except, oops, it looks like there was some collateral caring left over because when faced with the choice between avoiding danger or betraying the crew, Silver surprises everyone (including himself) by choosing the crew. He looses his leg in the process, along with his independence and a good chunk of his self-esteem.

This is the point where it starts to become clear that the Silver we met at the outset of this story is being unmade in a number of significant ways. He is obliged to depend on others, he no longer has access to the freedoms he once enjoyed, he must find the strength to weather the grueling pain of his injury, he has to reconcile with the fact that he’s opened himself up to others (i.e. Muldoon) and thus to a whole slew of complications (ew feelings). This is also where he begins to align himself more definitively with Flint. 

So we see Silver becoming resilient in ways he hadn’t had to be before, redefining his identity, setting goals that benefit others besides himself, taking on more responsibilities, and falling a little in love with his Captain. Even if you’re tracking this as a platonic relationship, you’ve got to admit that shit got heavy and weirdly intimate. Just saying. 

Eventually, somewhere between postulating that Flint might be a god who controls the sea and earning Madi’s regard, we witness the full metamorphosis. Silver has been brought to a place where he can imagine that Flint’s determination, ingenuity, and righteous fury, combined with Madi’s vision, resolve, and uprightness, might be sufficient to rally the numbers and amass the resources needed to achieve the impossible. Hell, for a second, he even believes in himself.

Yes, for one brief shining moment in time John Silver’s whole world-view teetered as he considered how beautiful life could be if only wars like theirs could be won. If only lending his support to the two most important people in his life didn’t mean clawing down a road paved with nothing but endless exhaustion and fear and bloodshed. If only he was capable of truly loving and being loved in return.

But, alas, a rock met a hard place, dissenters rallied against the cause, parties worked to divide steadfast partners, one of Silver’s loves was presumed dead, each side double-crossed the other, trust degraded. For Silver, it was reality reasserting itself, and he was left wondering what in the hell he was going to do with his two very stubborn idealists. One so angry, so committed to vengeance against the society that had killed his beloved and named him a monster, that his only recourse was to burn it all down. And the other, fiercely brave, principled, and responsible for the liberty and well-being of a whole people. Flint and Madi would never stop. They would fight and die for what they believed in. For Silver, who had never been given any reason to believe in anything so lofty as freedom from tyranny, it must have seemed like an incredible waste. It must have also been terrifying to be hurtling towards a future where two such bright, beautiful souls would undoubtedly be extinguished. What was John’s life, without them? What kind of world would it be if they were not in it?

So our desperate, lovesick, cynical idiot did what he felt he had to do - he took their choices from them, betrayed their trust, and forfeited his right to remain in their good graces (while also realizing one of Flint’s greatest desires i.e. the destruction of ‘Flint’, which is to say nothing of the reunion with Thomas if you believe that’s how it really went down). Silver did all this even though it surely meant that he’d earn the disdain of one or both of the people he cared deeply about, and he explicitly states that he did it anyway because at least they’d be alive to hate him. 

Did Silver make perfect choices? No. Was his love unquestionably pure? Absolutely not. Was he potentially short-sighted, too controlling, and a little bit of a coward? Yeah, maybe. But he was also a traumatized, complicated man who was experiencing perhaps the closest thing to love he’d ever felt in his life. His final acts were ones of helplessness and hopelessness. To say that he didn’t care, that he wasn’t invested, is absurd to me. I think Silver deserves empathy and I think he deserves forgiveness every bit as much as Flint does. 

[seddm]

One Sentence Recaps - S2

Season 1 Here

My New Wand - Glossaryck uses Marco’s naked body to teach Star that love is the key to any door. Star proceeds to keep her love behind several doors for the rest of the season.

Ludo In The Wild - Ludo’s healing process begins when he lets go of his past life, but his old dealer won’t let him.

Mr. Candle Cares - Star gets emotionally manipulated into having an existential crisis; Marco’s appreciation for Star’s individuality redeems Tom, saves the day.

Red Belt - terrified by the idea of not moving forward as a person, Marco teams up with middle aged loser to gain a tangible symbol of growth; Star learns a lesson about struggling in the most stupid of ways.

Star On Wheels - Glossaryck’s roundabout lessons and total disregard for human life reinforces Star and Marco’s mutual trust and support; Oskar loses a car, finds a band member.

Fetch - after having been stalked by a homeless person, Star uses her personal experience to teach a dog that you can’t avoid responsibilities forever, but that support and relax are fundamental.

Star Vs Echo Creek - Star commits a felony, considers murder, and ultimately values being close to her loved ones more than freedom.

Wand To Wand - Star destroys the Diaz household and learns that emotions are the key to faulty magic, and Marco is the key to emotions; Ludo learns that masochism is the key to faulty magic.

Starstruck - when her childhood hero turns out to be a lunatic with a penchant for bloodlust and dictatorship, Star takes further steps toward being a different kind of ruler.

Camping Trip - River’s midlife crisis saves Star from being left along with Marco and her feelings for him; Marco’s overwhelming appreciation for Star leads to first degree burns.

Starsitting - while babysitting the litter Ludo kidnapped, Star and Marco come to a new understanding about the balanced dynamics in their relationship, while a board game laments how dense they are.

On The Job - ready for anything to feed his family, Buff Frog shows us the side of Mewni where heist plans, torture and burning alive are standard fare to get some food on your monstery table.

Goblin Dogs - the gang seeks the tastiest hallucinogens in the multiverse while Marco shows how bad he is at handling his finances.

By The Book - Ludo starts slowly descending into an abusive relationship; Glossaryck has to use the full extent of his omniscience to break through Star’s aversion for conventional learning methods.

Game of Flags - when Star tries to prove her maturity at a family event, it’s up to Marco’s wisdom to help her draw a line at murdering relatives and challenge tradition once again.

Girls’ Day Out - Star and Janna bond over their shared disregard for rules while Marco humiliates himself in front of loved ones and civil servants alike.

Sleepover - when the threat of disembowelments pushes Marco to have a moment of self insight and confess his crush, Star has to use the full depth of her own obliviousness to save her friends.

Gift of the Card - Star’s thoughtfulness and Marco’s indecisiveness result in impending death, but their obliviousness to the true desires of their hearts are stronger than capitalism and lizard assassins.

Friendenemies - through the power of friendship and boy bands Tom learns a lesson about not being a manipulative fiend, and bonds with Marco.

is Mystery - Buff Frog discovers what Ludo has been up to while Toffee uses him to further his plan to make Mewni free for monsters again, by enslaving monsters.

Hungry Larry - when browsing the internet leads to a while neighborhood being eaten alive, it’s up to Rafael to remind kids that there are things scarier than non-canon episodes.

Spider with a Top Hat - while Marco and Star try to make up for not having been fully digested during Halloween, her spells learn a lesson about believing in themselves, and about guns making all monsters equal.

Into the Wand - in his quest to find indirect ways to teach his student, Glossaryck helps Star learn something about her family’s past, almost lose her sense of self, and further delay her responsibilities and problems.

Pizza Thing - when Pony Head gets sucked into a vortex of disgustingly pure friendship, Marco uses the full force of his compulsiveness to make a second generation immigrant lose his job.

Page Turner - duty comes knocking while Star enjoys illegal readings, and it’s up to Glossaryck to resist the plot advancing; Moon finds new understanding and respect for her daughter when a man with no pants scolds her.

Naysaya - due to Tom mistakenly believing Star and Marco not to be that dense, Star has to remind Marco not to let obstacles prevent him from achieving his dreams, so he humiliates himself in front of the school as a whole and scores a date.

Bonbon The Birthday Clown - Star runs dangerously close to having to look at her own feelings when Marco is buys being all handsome with Jackie. Just when accidental stalking pushes her close to the edge, Ludo saves the day by distracting her with something else to be sad about.

Raid the Cave - Star’s attempts at making up for fourteen years of recklessness in a single day leads to assaulting innocents, awkward parental conversations, genuine moments of effort.

Trickstar - slightly traumatized by her recent losses, Star ruins a birthday party while battling the idea that sadness might be an unavoidable part of life.

Baby - faced with her hardest trial to date, Star gets belittled by a bulimic cat until, supported by Marco and his catering service, she proves one can be proficient even without fitting the mold.

Running with Scissors - when he has to make up for the consequences of a lazy day, Marco gets roped into a lifetime of adventures and paper thin fulfillment, until he gets reminded that lack of responsibilities and duties come with a lack of Star.

Mathmagic - Star finds the strength to try doing something she doesn’t like when reality as a whole starts unraveling and a mystical entity of order urges her to learn some math.

The Bounce Lounge - Star projects her fears for the future on a club. Marco gets weirdly prophetic while enjoying being outside his comfort zone.

Crystal Clear - Star gets kidnapped by Glossaryck’s worst child when he misses the source of Toffee’s corruption by a dimension; they bond over being underestimated.

The Hard Way - Ludo has a second chance at happiness when he gets clear, achievable goals of self improvement and guidance, but Toffee isn’t going to have any of that.

Heinous - Marco finds renewed appreciation in the values of individuality Star taught him when an old lady who has lost everything forces the Diaz family to strengthen their relationships.

All Belts Are Off - Marco learns that real validation comes from inside, and not from others, especially not from sad loners who should never be trusted with educating kids.

Collateral Damage - Star realizes she’s the sanest person in school while learning a lesson about accepting your past mistakes and grow up by moving forward; meanwhile Marco hides to protect his mental health.

Just Friends - Star regrets her skills as a wingman when the sounds of kissing distracts her from a concert; regret over missed chances destroy both a billboard and Star’s denial.

Face the Music - her relationship with Marco and the kingdom’s political balance get jeopardized when Star tries to put a personal spin on tradition; Ludo’s traumas and mental issues get a face.

Starcrushed - Star’s friends and fears try their best to relapse her into running from problems, but Oskar, Toffee and two seasons worth of development help her acknowledge duties and feelings alike; Mewni’s best get wiped out by a bird with mental health issues and a dead lawyer. Marco fears change.

[angrylizardjacket]

heard your name in every love song {Ben Hardy} 6

6. if you were church, i’d get on my knees

Summary: Rehearsals are going well until a secret history is revealed. Fight choreography ends up getting a little bit steamy.

A/N: 3206 words. i know nothing about wrestling or pinning or holding anyone im smol and just want ben hardy to pin me to the ground please and thank. anyways. i still no nothing about how action movies are made. enjoy!

the mutant brotherhood: @daisy-lu​ @hervoidparadise​ @nedmjpeter​ @ultrunning​ @d-r-e-a-m-catchme​ @clementimee​ @that-fandom-sucks-tho​ @cjand10​ @rest-is-detail​ @baileymae​ @rosesvioletshardy​ @onceuponadetectivedemigod​ @hazelstyles94​ @bitchylittleredhead​ @bihemian-rhapsody​ @sweatyexpertgardenpanda​ @whereeverythingisbetter​ @dedxbed​ @xxencagedxx​ @glittrixvibe​ @a-girl-with-stress​ @sunflower-ben​ @pxroxide-prinxcesss​ @mrsmazzello​ @cubedtriangle​ @haileymorelikestupid​ @misscharlottelee​ @nevilles-insinuations​ @jovialcreatorkidtoad​ @brianmaysclog​ @sambuckywarrior​ @hey-yo-bedussey​ @bubblyanis​ @lifesciencesbois​ @elektraofcrete​ @diosanaz​ @bbdoyouloveme @kirstansworld​ @okilover02​ @cardboardbenmazzello​ @dreashappyworld​ @juliarose21​ @simonedk​ @greycuby​ @emmasunshiine​ @dinotje​ @qtrogerina​ @spiketacus​ @nympha-door-a​ @local-troubled-writer​ @emphatic-af​ @wh0a-thisisheavy​ @lustgardn​ @banginashton​ @pamacs-macs @rogerinahardy1

--

Getting up at the crack of dawn almost every day for training always leaves you feeling like a ball of aching muscles and sweat. You warm up and cool down properly, of course, but it’s more strenuous than you’ve ever consistently exercised before. After your general strength training, you spend a few hours with the fight coordinator, Walter Garcia, learning how to get thrown around without too many bruises. You, Ben, and Kodi, as well as your respective stunt doubles had affectionately nicknamed these lessons Fight Club, and as fun as it is, all three leave with bruises despite your best efforts.

And yet you still manage to make it to scene rehearsals after, and put your all into it.

Alexandra becomes a friend and a confidant, and probably the only reason you’re not actively burning out, apart from Ben. It seems like you’re never alone when you eat, with one or the other, unless you’re with both, or the Horsemen and Apocalypse decide to hit the town together. It’s chaotic, but it’s a chance to unwind and relax. You’re becoming a unit, as formidable off-screen as on.

Whenever you reach out, there always seem to be someone reaching back for you, a hand to stabilise you, to make sure you don’t fall, a hand on your shoulder to remind you you’re doing a good job, a hand on your waist – Ben’s hand on your waist, in a club, playing romance with no cameras around. It’s just to build chemistry, you tell yourself, as his touch sets your soul on fire.

There’s something in his eyes when he watches you in rehearsals, something you can’t quite identify.

You pretend to snap a guy’s neck, and when you look up, for a split second you catch him looking at you like it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. You want so desperately to not get your hopes up, to convince yourself that he’s doing it for the film, but there’s something there, you know it.

Well there was something there.

Then you had to let it slip.

“Y/N,” Ben’s dressed like he’s just been somewhere, though you’re not sure where, looking all kinds of good in skinny jeans and a leather jacket. He greets you with a smile as you’re walking from Alexandra’s room to your own, wearing pyjamas; you, Alexandra, Sophia, and Lana had been having a self care night, which included wine and facemasks, but it had wound down almost an hour ago, and you and Alexandra had just been running lines together before you called it a night.

“What’s up?” You give pause by his door, leaning on the doorframe as he lets himself in and sits on the bed, pulling his shoes off. He seems at least tipsy, judging by how he’s fumbling with the laces, which matched your buzzed state rather nicely.

“Nothing,” he shrugged, but didn’t seem inclined to ask you to leave.

“Nice night?” Leaning against his open doorframe, you wear a slight smile. Ben’s honest and tipsy smile was easily one of your favourite sights in the world, and the way it was lighting up the room at present made your heart grow warm.

“Fantastic night; McAvoy is a absolute tank,” he told you easily, and with such sincerity it was almost funny, “that little Scottish bastard could drink me under the table if he had half a mind to, and I don’t say that lightly.”

“I bet you don’t,” you find yourself amused by his antics, and Ben stops with one shoe off to regard you curiously.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” you respond, hoping you mean it. He licked his lips; you stepped forward and closed the door softly behind you.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Training. Fighting. Acting.” He said, and reached down to pull off his second shoe easily. He doesn’t break eye contact. “I feel like I’m constantly in over my head, and I’ve been doing this for years now.”

“TV’s different –“ you tried, voice soft, stepping forward.

“No shit it’s different,” it stings when he laughs without a trace of genuine humour, “I’ve spend three years on a soap opera; this is the first time I’ve actually felt like I’ve mattered, and I’m not even on set yet. I’ve had to look good and hit my marks to make editing as easy as possible. I feel like I’m out of my depth here, I’m not a super hero! And I look at you and- how does it come so easily to you?”

“I’m sorry,” it sounds weak when you say it, and finally he looks at you, eyes wide, the realisation of his own words sinking in.

“No, I’m not-“ he back peddles quickly, “don’t apologise, I just-“ and he stands, only tilts a little bit before he’s on his feet and wraps his arms around you, muttering apologies, “it was a shit thing to say, sorry, I’m not accusing you of anything.” He assured; you hug him back, struggling to process his words. The way he’d said them, so venomous, that was never meant to be directed at you like he’d meant it to himself, instead, you realise, you’re pretty sure he meant to compliment you.

“At the table read, in rehearsals,” he goes on, letting go and head back to his bed, leaving you cold by the door, “you just- everything you say has purpose, like,” he said a little straighter, wearing a slight frown, “we shall inherit the Earth,” he tries to copy you, but it sounds strained, and he’s looking a little helpless when he looks back at you again, “you can call yourself Control and I bloody believed you; I don’t understand how you do it.” And he flops onto his back on the bed.

Quiet stretches out between the two of you, and you come to sit gingerly on the edge of his bed, fidgeting as you try and form a coherent thought in the face of this revelation.

“I don’t...” you started quietly, looking at your hands, “all I know is that when I was younger, someone I... someone I idolised gave me some advice; he told me to follow through, to commit to the bit, and... and I suppose that I’ve taken that I mean that I believe what I’m saying. It’s not method acting, not entirely, but I find some way to relate what I’m saying as a character, to a moment or truth from my actual life, and I speak that truth when I say the lines, commit to what you’re saying. I never let myself doubt in my words on stage,” you paused, “or on screen,” though after a beat your expression soured and you finally looked at him, “if that makes sense; I don’t wanna tell you how to do your job, I know you’re a good actor.”

Slowly, he looks at you, frowning. Then the words process, your faint smile processes. His eyes go wide.

“I’m really not –“ he tries to be humble, but you won’t hear it.

“Oh shut it, you’ve been a fantastic actor since high school, don’t act like –“

“How do you know what I was like in high school?” His voice is ice cold, and it’s like the temperature of the room has dropped ten degrees. It’s hard not to shiver. “You don’t,” he said, venomously, though it’s followed by a worried, doubtful, “do you?”

“Ben –“ you throat’s gone dry. When you finally turn to look at him, he’s sitting bolt upright, looking at you like he’s almost afraid.

“No, why would you say something like that, that’s weird.”

“We went to the same high school,” you force yourself to speak, and he scoffs loudly.

“I fucking doubt it –“

“The Gryphon School. Sherborne.” You paused, looking down at your hands, “I was meant to graduate this year.”

“What the fuck.” He breathes, eyes wide. “I can’t – if you’re actually a psycho stalker –“

“I’m not, for fuck’s sake,” you sigh, head in your hands.

“You need to leave,” Ben’s voice is tight and you can’t bring yourself to look at him when you stand, agreeing. It feels like the wrong choice of a choose-your-own-adventure novel, and you can barely sleep for fear of what the morning’s rehearsals will bring.

What it brings is strangeness. It brings disconnect and a week of Ben being decidedly weird, not that you blame him. He’s doing okay at acting like he’s okay around everyone else, but he barely talks to you, barely touches you, it’s a far cry from the closeness you’d shared a week ago.

Now it’s Friday evening, and the last bout of fight training before filming starts on Monday. Training will continue, of course, but it feels weirdly final, like the whole night exists in that moment before you jump off a diving board.

Ben and Kodi’s first fight was more like a dance, all threat and no contact, at least not outside of special effects. The second fight, however, in the pyramid, is slick and dangerous, and the stunt men like to show off as Ben and Kodi practice as well as they can. Your fight with Kodi, however, was a carefully choreographed brawl, where your character refuses to let go of him, getting punched in the face and biting and fighting back with desperation.

“Get up,” your stunt double, Ana, looks eerily like you, which is mostly the point, but it’s still strange when she’s sitting on your hips. You struggle feebly, but she doesn’t seem satisfied – “get up.” She demands again. It’s training, and it’s what you’re meant to do, but you know what she’s asking. You can’t bring yourself to grapple with her.

“Kodi, come over here,” Ana finally relents with exasperation. Kodi’s sweet and awkward as he trots over. You prop yourself up on your elbows, giving what you hope is a reassuring smile. “Y/N, you’re gonna grapple with him, you’re gonna flip him over in less than a minute, or you’re gonna do fifty push ups.” Ana tells you simply, and you whine with faux annoyance; Ana gestures to you insistently, “go on Kodi; if she flips you, you’re ass is the one doing all the push ups. Use what we’ve been teaching you so far, okay?”

“I believe in you,” Ben half laughs from the sidelines, but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes when his gaze meets yours.

“Who are you saying that to?” Kodi asks as he gently straddles, sitting on your hips.

“Whoever wins,” Ben shrugs in response, breaking eye contact and looking away where he’s standing with his own stunt double, arms crossed, watching Kodi now with amusement. You flip him off and pretend like the idea of his praise doesn’t make you want to work harder.

“Okay,” Ana nods, before calling start. You and Kodi both take a moment to apologise to one another before you begin, but the threat of push ups must have gotten to your fellow actor, because he’s got your wrists pinned and an intense fire in his eyes. You set your teeth on edge and don’t hold back, shifting your hips up until you’re able to lift one leg up, your heel against his chest, pushing all your strength into that one leg, pushing him back.

He’s on your other leg, pinned between them, and you sit, twisting until your knee is on his chest, and his hands are scrambling for purchase, gripping at your legs until you grab his hands, first one than the other, pinning them either side of his body as you manoeuvre to sit on his thighs.

“Damn,” Kodi’s smile is good natured, despite his defeat and breathlessness, and in a moment you’re sitting back, letting go and getting up, graciously apologising again and dusting yourself off. Instead of getting up, Kodi turns with resignation, already starting his push ups.

“I’m glad she’s on my side,” Ben’s eyes are shining when he looks at you. You can’t help your pleased smile, flourishing under his genuine praise, but he quickly looks away.

“Okay, your turn,” Ana seemed to have different ideas, pointing at Ben, and then the floor in front of you. His own stunt double pushed him forwards with a smirk, “if you can’t flip Y/N, it’s a hundred push ups.”

“A hundred?” He went wide-eyed.

“Does that mean I have to do a hundred if he flips me?” You ask dubiously, heartbeat already erratic in your chest, and Ana turned with a sharp smile.

“Nah, fifty for you, ‘cos I like you.”

“Hey!” Ben protested, but he was already sitting down on the mat. Kodi was up to twelve. “You’re just biased ‘cos you’re a narcissist.” Ben accused Ana with an eye roll, and Ana made a thoughtful face.

“Y/N and I are cute, thank you, Ben,” she agreed with a cheeky smile, and Ben quickly went red, head falling back against the mat as he clearly tried and failed to will his blush away. “Go on,” Ana urged, giving him no break as she pushed you towards him.

“Don’t go easy on me,” you warned, standing over him. He’s still a little pink around the ears, rolling his eyes but avoiding looking directly at you. Something about this encounter is different; he’s being weird, but it’s neither strained nor oddly hostile.

“Do I look like I wanna do a hundred push ups?” He answered, and you sank to your knees, sitting squarely on his thighs.

“I – believe – in – you –“ Kodi huffs as he keeps working away at his push ups.

“Which one?” Ben asked wryly, and Kodi pauses, drops onto his stomach, taking a break, a breather, and shooting him a smile that’s all teeth.

“Y/N, obviously.” And he picks up where he left off.

You reach out slowly, moving to hold Ben’s hands to the mat by his head in the starting position, gently at first, then when Ana calls start, you’re pushing. For a moment, all he does is watch your face with a strange intensity, like he’s searching for something, like he finds something in the way your eyes burn with focus. But then he sits up, into your space, and with your weight on his thighs and not on his hips, it’s easy. You find yourself sitting back suddenly to avoid having him smack into you.

“This is why he sat on your hips,” Ben said, all smug and confident, but you’re not impressed. You take your leg from where it had been partially kneeling by his side, and bring your foot up to his chest, pushing him back on the mat, knocking the wind out of him, and you move to sit your weight on his hips, while moving your leg to press you knee to his chest. Leaning in, even with all the warm ups and work outs you’ve done today, you still feel the stretch in your hamstring, but it’s worth it to get as close to him as possible while he’s still pinned, you knee being the only thing that’s keeping your chests apart.

“Don’t be smart,” you warned him, pinning his hands firmer, almost nose to nose now.

“Thirty seconds,” Ana called.

Ben grinned. He wrenched one of his hands free from your grip, and held your leg in place between the two of you as he pushed off with his other trapped hand, rolling your both. Now you’re trapped by your own leg, with Ben’s weight on your other thigh. All that’s left is your free hand, as if trying to stave off your inevitable defeat, but he catches that, and suddenly both your hands are above your head and you feel as though the wind’s been knocked out of you.

He’s smiling. Smirking, actually, almost nose to nose, his eyes roaming your face as he seems to be drinking in your surprised expression. He can probably feel you practically on the edge of cardiac arrest – he’s so warm. Something’s changed. Whatever had been there before between you two is back tenfold. He’s flushed, all pink around the ears and pupils dilated.

“Get off the poor girl, Ben, let her do her push ups in peace,” Ana warned, and you realise that no-one else can see the way he’s looking at you, “go hit the showers.” Ana advised, and as Ben sat back and stood up, he was careful not to let his gaze linger on where you were laying breathless and suddenly flustered on the crash mats.

It’s with great disappointment that you roll yourself over and complete your fifty push ups.

“You guys wanna go for a bite to eat? I’m starving,” Ben offers as you and Kodi were leaving the gym’s change rooms. You narrowed your eyes; Kodi had already mentioned having plans that night, and he reiterates that only moments later. “Oh well, okay then, have a good night man,” Ben smiles good-naturedly at him before turning a perfectly fucking harmless smile on you, “what about you, Y/N? Food?” You swallow hard before smiling wide.

“Would love to,” you agreed. Ben gives a weirdly jaunty nod, and slings an arm around you, and the contact burns. Kodi takes the first of the cars the production team sends to pick you all up, waving and going to meet with the others playing the teen X-Men. The moment his car turns the corner, Ben steps up to you and kisses you.

It’s desperate and frantic, an energy you match, biting his lip and lacing your fingers through his hair. His nails are digging into you where he’s pulling you closer, his hands already finding their way beneath your shirt.

“Mr Hardy? Ms Y/L/N?” A very nervous and tentative driver calls your names as he pulls up in the telltale all black company car. You break for a moment, opening the door with shaking hands and tumbling into the back, “where to?” The driver’s voice is an octave higher than it should be as he desperately focuses on the road, and not the soft whimper you can’t contain.

“The hotel, please,” Ben’s voice is surprisingly level, and as soon as the address is given, the driver slides up the partition, which you’re thankful for. You’re all over each other, messy and desperate in the back seat; you’re practically in his lap with your teeth on his neck and it takes him a moment of fumbling fingers to remember that sports bras don’t usually have clasps.

“What made you change your mind?” You ask, and Ben leans back with a grin.

“I realised that either you’re the most dedicated stalker in the world to get cast alongside me, and in that case, I think I have to respect the grind,” he grinned, though it makes you giggle, “or, high school doesn’t fucking matter anymore because we’re adults.” He paused, tipped his head to the side for a moment to watch you with a surprisingly tender expression, taking your face in his hands, “though it’s cute you thought I was a good actor back then, I couldn’t act my way out of a paper bag.”

You roll your eyes and kiss him to shut him up.