#dont have a day off for another 4 days though so...!

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Hnnngngnngg period started were outta toilet roll I ate a pasty a d a bag of chips yesterday and I'm Hungry but feel too naseus to eat. Great start

[clumsypuppy]

act 4 :(

@chipper-smol and i came to a realization

[atinyladybug-daydreams]

Advice from experience: Be VERY careful on spending money on games, especially if what you're spending money on is like, limited events and shit.

Once you're in, you're IN and it's very, very hard to get out of mostly because of guilt and not wanting to put down stuff you've spent hours grinding for.

[skrunksthatwunk]

roommate's partially blind(?) female turtle keeps doing this today to elevate her basking game

[mostly-imagines]

answering a question nobody asked: what are jason's love languages ranked?

giving:

5 ) gift giving is bottom tier for him. i just dont see how he could value that more than any of the above because of the way he grew up. like material things and money seem like something he’d reject more than anything to me. but he does still give you presents, of course. he’ll buy you flowers randomly and jewelry and little things he’d noticed you admiring. but i dont think he really does it as a method of expressing his love for you so much as just like a little nice thing to do for you. its not his preferred method of communication, at least.

4 ) a little lower on the list comes words of affirmation because i don’t think it comes as naturally to him. he’s a man of few words and those chosen are caked in sarcasm and dry in a way that attempts to push people away, even if he doesn’t mean to. i just think his words can be rough around the edges even if his meaning isn’t. when he can work through it though, his words are very gentle and genuine. not one for hyperbole but really truly means what he says. he hears that you’re insecure about how a dress looks on you and he’s telling you to ‘shut up, you look good.’ or you’re nervous and he’ll say “you’re fine, don’t worry about it.” to someone else’s ears it might sound dismissive but you know that not how he means it. there’s a lot of unsaid words with him that are more significant than whats coming out of his mouth. like i said though, only like level 10 acquaintances and you will ever know him well enough to decipher those secret meanings.

3 ) he tends to treat himself like a loner, pulling away from people like second nature, but after he met you he found himself wanting to be around you all the time. he’s not the best with words or romantic gestures so quality time is an easier way of reminding you he loves you. he likes just sitting with you and letting you ramble about your day—listening to your voice is a big part of his calming down process every night. but sitting in comfortable silence with you is probably his favorite. he doesn’t get that with a lot of people. silence—sure; comfortable—not so much. he loves the implied intimacy and trust of quietly cooking, napping together, or doing your own things in the same space.

2 ) physical touch is another big one for him. only unlockable after entering a relationship with him. he does it for a lot of reasons, common ones include: as a reminder that he’s there, to ease anxiety (yours or his own), as a sort of fidget, or if he’s feeling a little possessive. its honestly going to shock his family how much he initiates touch with you. he’ll shove them off of him when they try to hug him and is likely to throw hands if they get too touchy. so when they meet you for the first time and he’s squeezing your hand in his the whole night, shoulder to shoulder with you—they’re surprised, to say the least. as time goes on they start to notice that he looks borderline uncomfortable when he’s not touching you—like he doesn’t know what to do with his body. his favorite ways to touch you (non sexually) include: keeping you pressed back to his chest, having your leg hooked atop his when you’re sitting hanging out, hand on the back of your neck, and hands on your hips are a must.

1 ) jason's prime method of communication is through acts of service. he fully believes it’s his responsibility to take care of you and doing things for you comes very naturally to him anyways. he’s known to refuse to let you carry things, let you have the comfortable chair, give you the last of his snack, that kind of thing. he also wants to make your life easier as much as possible—he’ll insist on you telling him about things you need, especially things you aren’t able to do yourself. you never ever have to hire a guy to come look at anything broken in your apartment, jason’s got that shit under wraps. he’d honestly be a little hurt if you did. he’s got a wide array of skills under his belt, he can fix leaky pipes, install locks, build furniture, repair cars, you name it.

receiving:

5 ) he always appreciates getting gifts from you but it’s not necessarily his preferred way of receiving your love. gift giving and acts of service are bottom tier because they’re the only ones that he feels like are taking away from you. costing you money or energy, wasting it on him—he doesn’t want you to do that. he can’t feel loved by the gesture when he’s busy concerning himself with the idea that he’s putting you out for it. when you do give him gifts he likes it most when they’re little things, especially things that you made. make him a friendship bracelet, a simple painting, a fucking paper crane—he’ll love it. with things like that, it makes him really happy to see how excited you are to show him and that’s when he feels the love from you.

4 ) it’s always a little hit or miss with acts of service. he has a hard time accepting help, especially from you. he tends to feel like its his job to take care of you and if you have to help him, he’s doing something wrong. the best way to perform acts of service for him is through littler things. cooking his favorite dinner, checking up on how his stitches are healing, covering him up when its cold and he’s too busy/stubborn to go get a blanket. don’t make a whole thing about it, just do it and he’ll notice and he’ll be thinking about it for a while.

3 ) for the same reasons as mentioned earlier, he loves quality time with you. he prefers being on the receiving end of it though because he is a little insecure and absolutely loves when you go out of your way to spend time with him. tell him you want to be around him, tell him you miss him, tell him you’re happy he’s here. warning: he might cry.

2 ) you’ll notice this one because his breath will literally hitch. physical touch is one of the most prominent methods of affection in your relationship and he never gets used to it. the presence of just your head on his shoulder or your hand in his provides such a noticeable release of tension for him. he’s a huge huge fan of you tracing patterns anywhere on his skin, playing with his hair, and wrapping your arms around his middle so you can hold him close. climb on his lap unexpectedly and his heart will skip a few beats.

1 ) he won't ever admit it, but words of affirmation are his absolute biggest weakness. your boy has a praise kink, but i also think it's difficult for him to accept that so you have to be subtle about it and work up. it gets him really blushy and if you can manage to get him talking, he’s stammering. he can’t hold eye contact for shit when you call him pretty and it’s very amusing to you to see such a quick and drastic shift in his disposition. things that have straight up put him out of commission include: calling him “my pretty boy,” or “sweet boy,” “you always take such good care of me,” “you’re so strong,” “you’re the love of my life.” “i’m proud of you” will literally put him on his knees.

[swordsandholly]

Cherry Bomb - tattoo parlor anthology

MDNI | poly 141 x fem fat reader | masterlist

cw: menstruation (not graphic), afab anatomy

Part 4: “Girl Problems”

You shift in the office chair, stomach lurching uncomfortably. It’s been bothering you today - groaning and moaning nonstop. So far you blamed it on the suspicious chicken salad you got from the discount grocery store. You took every stomach soother you could, all the way down to chugging tea on the hottest day of spring so far.

With a rather pathetic groan you stand to meander your way to the bathroom. Surely sitting on the pot will help - at least as a placebo. Just as you do, though, a very distinct wet feeling makes itself known. You freeze, briefly, as if it will go away if you stand still enough.

“Ah, fuck!” You gasp, grabbing your purse and jogging down the hall to the single bath stall and popping the lock shut.

As soon as you sit, you let out a small sigh of relief. At least you caught it before you turned your underwear into a total crime scene. You’d rather not have to explain to John why you need to go home and change. You dig through your bag to your usual pocket of various supplies. From lotion to a sewing kit. It never hurts to be prepared.

Except, as you rifle around, you’re not finding your usual stash. There should be at least three in here… when did-?

The very loud, distinct memory of a girl at a bar stopping you while canvassing for some sanitary products hits you like a train.

“Whatever you’ve got I’ll take.” She practically begged. So, you handed them all over because got forbid someone get stranded during the most hellish week of the month. Like you are now.

You make a deep, frustrated noise in your throat and bury your face in your hands. You’ve been meaning to put a basket of backup wipes, pads, and tampons in the little bathroom cabinet - not just for you but for customers, too. It just kept getting pushed off when you got busy with other things.

Shit. What are you gonna do? If you put your pants back on you’ll just bleed through them in ten minutes. Cursed with a heavy flow (or blessed with a strong connection to the moon, as your former hippie roommate insisted.) Less time than that, probably, based on the vicious cramp that travels from your lower back to pelvis. You won’t be able to get to the corner store with out leaving a war crime in your path.

John’s the only person in the studio right now. He doesn’t have a client for another hour or so but you’d rather die than tell your hot boss you’re bleeding everywhere. For a few, quiet moments, you violently bounce your knee and go through every possibility. Maybe you’ll suddenly turn into the flash and you can get home before anyone even notices. You don’t really have much of a choice, do you?

With another groan you pull your phone from your pocket, thumb hovering over his contact for just a few beats too long while you work up the courage.

>> ok so this is terrible

>> im so sorry

>> but im having girl problems and am stuck in the bathroom

>> im so sorry this is so unprofessional

Girl problems? What are you? In fucking middle school? Before you can send yet another in a long string of planned apologies, John answers.

J >> How can I help?

>> i dont have any products on me

>> meant to stock the bathroom

>> sorry

J >> Stop apologizing

J >> What kind do you use? I’ll go to the corner store up the street

You breathe out a sigh of relief, still nervously gnawing at your lip as you send him what you need with an example picture (just in case) and profusely insist you’ll pay him back. John refuses. You’ll just have to sneak the cash in his tips or something.

It isn’t long before you hear the front doorbell ring, heavy footsteps, then a gentle tap on the bathroom door. “Y’alright, love?”

You perk up. “John, I’m so sorry-“

“Didn’t ask if you were sorry. Asked if you were alright.”

You snort. “Yeah…”

“I’m goin’ to unlock the door to slide these in. No lookin’ I swear.” John says. As if you were worried about that. You trust John. More than maybe any other man you’ve known (not that the bar is very high.) It’s nice of him to say, though. The door barely cracks open, just enough for him to toss the box to you across the floor and shut it immediately. You barely even see his arm. “That all you need?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” You murmur, bending awkwardly and snatching up the box. “I’m really sorry. I know it’s not really… appropriate.”

“Love, it’s normal. It happens. Just get y’self situated.” John taps the door once before you hear his footsteps drift down the hall toward the front.

You feel a bit skittish the rest of the day. You know it’s stupid. John’s a grown man and it’s a natural thing that happens and it’s fine. He said it’s fine. If it wasn’t fine you probably wouldn’t still look up to him the way that you do - the way that you have since you came here. The way everyone else seems to. Even so, you step around him a little wider than usual on your way out - keeping your head hung low and both hands tightly gripping your purse.

You chew your lip, shifting in place as he locks the front door. “Look, John, I-“

“If you apologize again I’m gonna fire you.” John mutters, pulling on the door to make sure it’s properly secured. There’s humor in it, though, the corners of his lips quirked up slightly.

You scoff, still not quite able to meet his eye.

“Sweetheart, look at me.” When you don’t move fast enough, apparently, he tilts your head up with a light touch. His eyes are so warm despite their icy blue shade. Sparkly in the setting sun. “Any man worth his breath wouldn’t give a shite. I’m sorry if that hasn’t been your experience, but really, it’s fine. I’ll help you out a thousand times over if y’need.”

“Okay…” You murmur, suddenly very distracted by the feeling of his fingers touching your chin, light as is it. You pull away and clear your throat, hoping he doesn’t notice the growing heat in your cheeks. “Well, uh, see you tomorrow, then.”

John nods, still smiling. “Sleep well, dove.”

When you come in the next day, you expect to get teased. A snide comment or a sideways look. You would have at any other job you’d worked - especially one with all men. All giggling and poking at you like a bear they know can’t bite back. No one says a thing outside of their usual greetings when you make your way to the front desk, though. Johnny pinches your hip like normal, Simon greets you with his new pun of the day, Kyle gives you a distracted wave over the hum of his practice gun. John doesn’t bat an eye when he says hello and checks in about the plan for the day.

You open the bottom drawer that you usually tuck your purse into, pausing before you set it inside. At the bottom, neatly tied together with a piece of twine, sits a king size chocolate bar and a pack of Midol.

If John notices the way you become extra smiley after that discovery, he doesn’t comment.

A/N: This was very self-indulgent but I’m having a bad time over here and need to be saved.

[velaenam]

𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲

                                                                         ◦ ♡

𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐛 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 – non!mc. you are a successful aerospace engineer, a girlboss, with terrible luck in romance. let's hope this strangers website brings you out of that rut! 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 / 𝐭𝐰 – swearing/foul language, strangers, slow burn, tba notes – not proofread. ok due to my stupidity, i forgot caleb spoke on his graduation. lore purposes, the gala you were at was NOT the graduation ceremony… u simply did not attend that..tehe… 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 - 2 of many ! previous chapter | next chapter

                         couple weeks later

you rub your temples, peering into your notes and eating your burrito. it was friday night and you were knee deep in paperwork, once again. “thrust vector.. 2.3 degrees starboard. okay. compensates for drift, something something peak climb rate–” you flip through another page, scanning quickly, “thermals peaked at… 1785, not 2000.. failure points lower than expected..blah blah stress limits– got it.” you give a short pause, furrowing your brows as you read, “coolings-” – “babes what the fuck are you on about.” stacias valley-esque tone rumbles through your facetime call. you looked up from the phone and you had forgotten you were in a 4 way conversation with your friends from the group chat, everybody doing their own thing. 

you shook your head, a worn smile plastered on your face, “sorry– was just checking some notes from work.” you inform, signing off on a couple of things before you close your book. you huff, exhausted, and thinking on what you should do next. as you grab to scroll through your phone stacia gasps, “oh! hey! i know its been like a hot hot minute, but remember when you said you had some like info you wanted to share with us. … like a month ago?” stacia sings, and your other friends chuckle at her, seemingly interested all of the sudden. as much as you hate to admit, your hot gossip wasn’t as frequent as the other ladies, so when you had something to say, all eyes and ears perk up on you. you rolled your eyes, pursing your lips, “so like remember when i went to the aviation gala?” – “uh yeah. the one with hot fucking guys and women that you didn’t want us going to?” stacia states matter-o-factly, you roll your eyes at her before continuing, “because its a top security event you idiot– but you dont wanna hear that” you chuckled, “ – there was this hot- and i mean sexy hot, mister ten, knockout man there. purple eyes, brown hair, tall. big broad shoulders– i mean he was big.” you emphasize with your hands, this was the giddiest everybody got, awoo and whistle and all, “i was going to maybe go talk to him– but his fucking girlfriend was there! they kissed.i was so fucking mad ” stacia rolled her eyes at you falling to her bed, “of course the dreamboat  has a girlfriend already– i’m sick!!  did you at least get his name?!” – “fuck no! i said fuck all that, i’m not interested anymore.” 

you were a ride or die for a woman till the end. you have had your crazy run in’s with men who were married-but-not-married or we’re-in-a-rough-spot and you didn’t want any public reputation that you had tarnished. it was one thing being scrutinized by the public, but its another being scrutinized by your family. and you certainly weren’t going to bat as a mistress nor be responsible for a broken family. 

“i could cry for you.” one of the girls said as she fakes a sob, and the three of you mourn over the possibility of a hunk. you quickly recoil from it and plan your brunch for sunday– a longstanding tradition you had with your friends. a morning filled with sexy servers delicious meals, episodes of island love and bottomless mimosas. now normally some may say, that’s a bit excessive, yea? no! you live to work, not work to live– even though you dont build a good case for yourself– with all those all nighters you’ve pulled, and all the extra days you went in, but you did it for the love of the game. 

stacia is a social media manager for a big company, talia is a professor, and marina is an engineer as well. 

you met stacia when you were at a convention, and she hit on you. you both bonded over the sexy farspace fleet hunks in their uniform that walked by you two. completely normal interactions. eventually you exchanged numbers and became inseparable ever since.

talia met you when you and your co-founder mark were giving a presentation on something regarding jet engines to the aerospace cadets in the university she was teaching in. 

and you met marina at the park on your walk. she came up to you to compliment your outfit and you hit it off. 

it was a solid group. your friendship is going 5+ years strong, and you couldn’t be any happier. you loved your girls, and you all pitched the sunday brunch idea for a way to reward yourselves for the hard week you all mightve had. it was a way to give thanks amongst yourselves, and you wanted nothing more than healthy interactions.

-

“soo theres this website thats taken off recently. its sorta like a blind date type of situation. you’re not allowed to put your real name on there, and you can either call or text– but if you call its a voice changer so the person doesnt know what you really sound like. its kind of cool actually. you write down your interest and you can match that way or you can leave it blank and match with someone completely random.” 

this prospect piques your interest the slightest. you listen intently as you sip your mimosa awaiting for stacia to continue, she notices your immediate interest and her evil ass grin widens, “something tells me this is perfect for our miss ceo.” – “i mean this is literally perfect for you. its like AA but dating.” 

caleb was resting in his bed when his roommates came in, rambunctious, as always. he loved his friends- dearly, but for the life of them, they had poor volume control. 

he groans turning his back to them, trying to continue his thoughts as one of them threw a pillow at him, “yo get up. you promised a game!” he laughs, as he grabs calebs arm off his head. caleb looks up at him, a sheepish grin as he reluctantly goes to join his friends in a game of basketball.

-

“theres some new website thats going around, some anonymous chat. we should try to find each other on it.” one of his friends mused, taking the ball from caleb. another one piques, “that sounds fun. whats it called?” – “whispr? just came out like a week ago.” 

caleb couldn’t help but agree that he should (for once) partake in this shenanigan his friends had suggested. he had been starting to feel lonely lately. unable to see his pipsqueak and gran, and always working so much in the aviation unit. it was tiring him out, but he really did enjoy the experience, and not to mention the pay was superb- especially the pay bump from the administration recently. 

the group plays for a couple more hours, before he breaks away from them. he wanted to go for a run before he retired for the night, just to clear his thoughts once more. he really couldn’t shake the feeling of sadness. he never understood why, hence, the plagued thoughts, but he did well to hide it. 

a mile into the run he stops, sweat beads falling from his face, his shirt wet with moisture, as he cools down he takes a slow walk, breathing in the air around him. he was in one of the districts of skyhaven. how he ended up here was beyond him, he was just running. 

as he walks he notices a couple with their children coming out of the store. it warmed his heart seeing the sight of. the little girl holding her dads hand, her little digits managing to barely envelope half his pinky. dressed in a cute pink dress with a tiara. the mom holding the girls other hand, and the babies treat in the other. they look both ways before crossing, and she bounces around, giggling all the way.

he wished that was him. he wanted kids so bad.

caleb shakes his head, smiling at the thought, and continuing his walk after that moment. he stops a moment, before checking his phone. his hand hovers over the app store, and types in ‘whispr’ on the search bar. he sucks a breath in. did it come this far that hes resorting to texting strangers? couldn’t he just text his beloved pipsqueak? she’s probably on a mission, or asleep. 

as he almost hits ‘back’ on his phone the app finishes installing, and he stares at it. ‘well.. fuck it i guess..’ he opens it and hes met with a purple screen

‘whispr - 83,358 online’ 

‘damn’ he clicks on the ‘create-a-profile’ tab and looks through the information, 

‘welcome to whispr. whispers from strangers– soft, mysterious, and personal. 

text random strangers, whether you have shared interests or just feeling up to randomly connecting with someone. feeling bold? call a stranger! but don’t worry, your voice is changed. you still retain your anonymity. we encourage everybody to keep their personal information hidden. you enjoyed the conversation? ask to remain mutuals! otherwise- chats disappear within 24 hours. do not give out information you do not want revealed. stay safe, take care, and thanks for using whispr!’ 

caleb shrugs, continuing through the second page, filling out his private information and starting his profile. 

you yawn and sprawl into your bed. you had the day off tomorrow and you were actually going to use it for once. you had already reserved yourself a spot at the salon to get a full body experience. mark had given you a gift card for the spa and you figured it was time to cash it in. 

you rolled around your bed, unable to sleep even if you were yawning every 5 seconds. as you give up your attempt to sleep you flip your phone up to your face, not even realizing you forgot about the app.

you quickly pull whispr up and finish putting your information in there. 

‘ space baby’ your randomly generated pops up, you hit ‘female’ on the tab.

there were a couple of features that stood out to you. the random room, and the interests box, that you could potentially match with if you had the same input .

you werent too keen on hitting random room. who knows what you’d get. you shudder at the aforementioned thought, annnnd tap it anyways. you wanted to get a good laugh.

ping! 

friendly bird:  hey  space baby:  hello  friendly bird:   a/s/l?  friendly bird: 24/m/linkon, u?

what the ever living fuck does that even mean? your brows furrow, and immediately skipping the guy. this might be more painful than you anticipated. you had to look it up. age, sex, location– something chat website goers liked to abide by. ah. perhaps you were a bit too harsh? 

you hit the randomizer again

ping! 

smart pug: hi! space baby: hello.  smart pug: how are you?  space baby: i’m good, how about yourself? smart pug: i’m awesome. first time? space baby: yup lol, how’d you know?

oh, maybe there were good and normal conversations here!

smart pug: everybodies lol. hey, are you into kinky roleplay?

nevermind.  skipped

‘chicken king: wanna meet up?’ skip

‘starfruit girl: sex rp?’ skip!

‘cake hero: u wanna trade numbers? im horny.’  SKIP!

you couldn’t help but laugh at how fucking silly the deliveries of some people are. you were actually having fun. you showed stacia a couple of the chats here and there, her howling with laughing, but you had enough. maybe trying the shared interest was a better idea.

you stare long and hard before putting down random shit that you liked. wine, food, movies, tv shows. 

you matched immediately with somebody, but same old shit. you realized impressive it wasthat down-bad people can redirect a conversation of eating some food to asking you to eat their dong. 

you were about to hang up the towel, before you looked at the shared interest one more time.

..

..

planes, aviation, jets

you nerd. you’re never going to match-

ping !

captain apple: hello there! space baby: hi

caleb laid there, staring at his phone, waiting for a match. he was getting endless invitations from horny people wanting to have a good time. he did admit that this would be a crazy site where the reckless acted upon their fantasies. he managed to find one of his roommates on the site before everybody called it a night. 

he too was going to call it a night before he was matched after 5 minutes of waiting. 

‘you’ve matched with space baby!’ he scrambles his fingers to the keyboard and starts to type.

captain apple: hello there! space baby: hi captain apple: you like planes? space baby: yes. do you like top gun?

caleb giggles to himself. giggled. 

captain apple: i feel the need..  space baby: the need for speed! lol! 

caleb felt giddy! they just started the conversation, and it was already a pleasant one. he stared at the heart button- the mutual buttons, but he stopped himself, before typing again

captain apple: what brings you on this website? space baby: friends told me about it, you? captain apple: same. we were bored– wanted to try and find each other on it. space baby: did you? captain apple: just one. theres a lot of people on today i think space baby: yeah there are lol. tbh i think this is interesting. i have had weirdos left and right, but you’re the first one that didn’t ask me for weird stuff. captain apple: haha no, not my type of thing. what else do you like?  space baby: hmm i like food, wine, and i love tv shows. what about you? captain apple: literally everything, except wine. not a wine guy, i don’t drink, and if i do, maybe beer i guess. whats your favorite food? space baby: ok true. i honestly love a good beef stew, or a good homemade braised chicken. that reminds me of home.

calebs eyes light up, especially at the mention of braised chicken. the only other person who likes that is-

space baby: oh no, did you disappear ! :( captain apple: no! sorry was grabbing something. i love braised chicken too actually haha, but my favorite is anything apple related tbh. i’ve been on an apple strudel kick lately.  space baby: ooh awesome, ill have to try!! whats your favorite movie or tv show? mine is top gun, and island love.. honestly any dating show. theyre so fun. captain apple: haha my favorite movie is also top gun and probably jurassic park. space baby: ooh i have never seen jurassic park. hmm.. favorite flavor of food? captain apple: apple stuff, and i like all spices/flavors…except cilantro.. space baby: haha, me too! tastes like soap for me. makes me so sad.

you and caleb are grinning, ear to ear, moving around your beds like love struck teenagers, pillow nestled in between your arms as you text away with each other. 

you were actually having so much fun with this person, that you didn’t notice it was after midnight. you frowned slightly, a little bummed, before you go back to text captain apple

space baby: hey captain, sorry to cut the convo short, but i’ve got to go to sleep. do you wanna be mutuals before i head off? 

caleb looked at the clock and damn near panicked. he had to be up early for PT, he quickly hit heart on the conversation and a pink heart bursts in the screen, followed by a ‘congrats! you are mutuals!’ 

captain apple: yeah no problem! have a good night. was nice meeting you space baby!

you exit the app, a huge grin on your face, as you settled down. you couldn’t help but try and envision who exactly captain apple was. 

[sturnslutz]

SLICE OF CAKE - ceo!matt

warnings: angst, arguing, a small mention of reader picking her skin, the resurrection of ceo!matt🫩

made for my babies: @sturniqlo @mattsturnl0vr69

it was supposed to be a normal day for you and matt. go to work, he brings you home, you and lia watching bluey together, and then you and matt just hanging out later.

and it was like that, until the very last part of the day, where you and matt were hanging out. he just went to the bathroom to go take a shower and he left his phone. you’re continuing to watch love island— the show you and matt love to binge watch, and his phone goes off, repeatedly.

it doesn’t usually faze you, as it’s usually work, but it’s 11pm now. you take a quick glance at his phone—which happens to stay right next to you on his pillow.

texts messages come in— quickly. your curiosity just can’t help but at least look, and the name that shows on the screen makes your heart drop.

“Nora.”

matt has mentioned nora a couple times, and you know she’s amelia’s mom, but he’s told you that they’ve cut contact a couple months before you and him even knew each other so why is she texting him? you pause the tv, and fiddle with his phone in your hands for a bit as another text comes through. 4 texts now in the past 3 minutes.

matt’s given you his phone password before and he does trust you with it, so you can’t really see anything wrong with just at least seeing what they’re saying to each other.

you type in his passcode, and reluctantly click on the messages app. nora’s texts right at the top, right above your name. you click on her texts, and immediately your heart drops again.

“hope to try to come over tomorrow to pick up lia, hope to see you there :)”

“cant believe it’s been so long since i’ve seen you, honey.”

“you there? it’s been a couple minutes haha”

“just text me tomorrow when that girl you have over is out.”

you scroll up a bit more and read his texts back to her, some just before he left to the bathroom.

“Yeah, Lia’s all good. She likes bee a lot.”

nora responded. “bee’s a weird name, isn’t she your assistant?”

“I mean yeah, I guess so. She’s a good person though, but you and I are talking again, so we’ll see where we go.”

you couldn’t read anymore before you heard the shower turn off. you quickly put back his phone where it was, and turned the tv back on. your thoughts are racing with questions, and you can't understand why he’s saying all that, and why they even started texting again in the first place.

“hey baby, what’s been going on with them? any new kisses or anything?” he says as he walks in the room again, before quietly shutting the door. he’s damp— with a towel around his waist as his hair drips down his body.

your thoughts stop for a second before you look back at the tv and shake your head.

“not really,” you quietly say. you can’t help but stay quiet now because you just dont know what to say or even think. his phone dings again, and your head immediately turns to it. he looks at you confused, with a small smile as he picks up his phone. “you good? crazy reaction time there for a text, pretty.” you nod, turning your head back to the tv, the words and sounds barely processing through your head.

he hasn’t even sat down yet before he starts texting back. you hear him laugh a bit before finally turning off his phone and walking over to his closet to change.

“who was that?” the words come out of your mouth before you can even think about what you’re saying. he looks back a bit confused, shrugging as he tosses on a shirt and some boxers. “just a work friend, why?” you shake your head, becoming quiet again as you start picking the skin around your fingers in habit. he walks back slowly, almost cautious. “bee, why are you acting weird? are you not feeling okay?” he says so gently, almost making you change your mind on how you feel.

“i just don’t know why you’re lying to me,” again, the words come out before you even think. “why are you telling her you’ll ‘see where we go’?”

his face drops a bit, as you turn back and look at him. he hesitates a bit before responding. “you went through my phone?” you nod, sitting up and pausing the tv. the tears flood your eyes for a second, before you quickly blink them away. “i didn’t know you were texting her again.”

he nods, looking at the tv for a second before looking back at you again. “you had no right to look through my phone, and read my texts. especially with nora.” his tone sounds different before— you’ve heard him use with employees whom he’s mad at, but never at you.

“i didn’t want to, but texts just kept coming through and—“ he quickly interrupts you, “still, you had no right to do that, bee. you’re more mature than that. we’re not even dating, i don’t understand why you fucking care so much.”

you gasp a bit, tossing the blanket over you and standing up. “are you fucking serious? so these past 9 months haven’t meant anything to you? i’ve taken care of your fucking child and nora hasn’t shown up once, matt. once in god knows how long.”

he sighs, running a hand over his face. “we’ve never made it official, and they have meant something to me, but i didn’t think you were taking it so serious. nora means something to me, bee. she’s the mother of my child, i can’t just leave her out of my life forever for some dumb mistake she’s made. and lia’s sleeping, so lower your voice.”

you take a soft breath before continuing, and the tears start streaming down your face before you can hold them back. “matt i’ve cared for you and lia more than nora ever has, and you’ve told me that multiple times. so don’t pull that bullshit card of ‘shes the mother of my kid.’ when she left right after lia was born. and you lie to me saying she’s some work friend? you’re so immature for a 29 year old fucking man.”

you grab your pants, pulling them up as matt just stands in silence, running his hand through his hair multiple times. you sigh, walking and grabbing your bag off his dresser— beginning to walk past him. he grabs your arm gently, stopping you in the process.

“don’t leave, bee. we can figure this out, just stay the night.” he says softly, before using his free hand to wipe the tears off your face. you pull your arm out of his grip, looking up at him. “you’re funny if you think i’m stupid enough to stay another night before nora comes in the morning and you dump me out.”

you scoff as you walk past him and open the door, and trying to slam it shut before he stops it and walks after you. your steps are gentle but still firm as you try to keep quiet outside of amelia’s room.

“bee, stop.” he says from behind you as he follows you down the hallway and down the stairs. you don’t know when, but he’s grabbed his pants and is now buckling them as he’s walking down the steps.

“at least let me drive you home, you don’t have your car here.” he grabs your wrist again, pulling you back to him and the bottom of the stairs. “let go of me, matt.” he rolls his eyes, hesitantly letting go. “y’wanna walk 30 minutes back to your place? be my fucking guest, bee. get it through your head that we’re not dating and you have no reason to be acting like this.” he says practically in a whisper yell.

you scoff again before sniffling. “you’re treating me like i’m some fucking hookup you barely see. i practically live here now, matt. all of my stuff is here, my clothes, everything. and you’re acting like this. you told me you loved me so many times and out of nowhere you’re acting like you don’t even care. i fucking hate you.”

and with that word, you turn back around and leave his house, and he doesn’t follow you. you call a uber to come pick you up, and when you get home, the tears come even more.

you haven’t been to work in days, and matt’s still paying you, and even despite your words— texting and calling you.

“Bee, I'm sorry baby. I shouldn't have said those things.”

“I established boundaries with Nora. We aren’t texting anymore, I promise.”

“Lia misses you like crazy. Still calling you mama and everything.”

one of his voicemails that he sent in this morning came like this. “I miss you so much honey. At least come into work. We had cake today for someone’s birthday and I saved you a slice. It’s vanilla, your favorite. You can come in late, I won’t write it down. I’m sorry again.”

and even with that, you didn’t clock in— but there was still a slice of vanilla cake in a pretty box with a pink bow on it outside your door later that night.

[evie-sturns]

ʙᴇᴅᴛɪᴍᴇ - ᴄʜʀɪꜱ ꜱᴛᴜʀɴɪᴏʟᴏ

summary: chris and you have twins together, lola and maggie, bedtime is always a struggle with them.

contains: fluff, kissing, swearing.

------------------------..••°°°°••..--------------------—-

11:37pm

chris and i have been dating since highschool, 4 years ago i gave birth to twins

"girls! bedtime please, i didn't realise the time." i call out, opening the door to their shared bedroom.

maggie and lola are bouncing on their double bed while squealing, i walk over to them, my hands resting on my waist. "are you meant to be doing this?"

they both pause to look over at me, innocence spread across their face.

"no.." maggie says quietly, i nod with a small smile

"are you ready for bed?" i ask as the girls flop down on the bed, "yes!" lola says throwing her arms up with a cute grin.

i pull up the covers over them, "stay in bed for the whole night okay? daddy will be in the kitchen until late, so bother him alright?" i say, pressing kisses to their foreheads.

walking out of their room, i flick off the lights behind me. i close their door softly and go out into the kitchen.

chris is sitting on a dining table chair, his phone in one hand and a pepsi can in the other.

"they asleep?" chris asks, putting his phone down "thankfully." i reply with a sigh, sitting down on chris's lap with a heavy sigh.

he plants a long kiss into my hair "i love you so much."

i flip myself around to straddle chris, moving my hair to one side i collide our lips together desperatly. "fuck.." chris breathes into the kiss.

bang.

a loud bang comes from the kids room, i instantly pull away from the kiss, my eyebrows scrunching i throw myself off of chris's lap.

i hear excitable laughing coming from outside their door. i swing open their door, the bedside table is tipped over, maggie and lola are giggling while throwing stuffed animals at each other.

"lola and maggie." i yell sternly, their heads instantly snap round to look at me, their face dropping.

"do you know what time is it? almost midnight." i glare at them

"i am going to put you to bed and if i hear another noise come from this room, dad is going to come in here and be very angry." im cut off by lola

"mommy but- but maggie keeps taking the blanket and my stuffie." she whines.

i shake my head and shut the door for the second time tonight.

"chris-" i say walking into the kitchen "shh i know." he says, grabbing my waist and picking me up. i groan into his shoulder as he walks us into the living room.

"lets watch a movie okay?" chris says calmly, the warm sleves of his crewnecks wrapped around me.

he plonks us down on the couch, i lay on his body comfortably.

-

1:34am

"this is the best part shush!!" i giggle.

"mooom!" i hear lola laugh as she runs into the room, clutching the ear of her bunny toy in one hand.

i look over at chris, whose rubbing his eyes with his ringed hands.

"maggie wet the bed." she points to her bedroom with a snort, covering her smile with her stuffed animal.

chris sits up, moving me off him and walking over to lola. he scoops her up with one arm, looking into her eyes he starts "did you hear what mom said?" he asks, maintaining eye contact with lola.

"well mommy's stupid!" lola says sassily, my jaw goes slack.

"lola no." chris says, more stern than ive ever heard him. he carries lola out of the room.

i lay back on the couch, closing my eyes and instantly drifting to sleep.

9:39am (the next day)

the harsh sunlight hits my body from the window to my left. i sit up, dazed and somehow in pyjamas, even though i fell asleep in jeans and a tanktop.

"what the fuck.." i groan, my eyes adjusting to the blinding light.

chris walkss into the living room "hey!! you're awake." he says happily.

"oh yeah hope you dont mind, i changed you last night after i changed the girls sheets, you were knoocked outt though." he says with a laugh.

"oh shit wait-" he says, doing a full 180° out of the living room.

he comes back in about a minute, hes holding lola and maggie, one in each hand. theyve both got small cards in their hands and a guilty expression on their face.

"chris what is this?" i ask, standing up off the couch.

"mommy i'm very sorry for being awake late last night." lola says, chris sets her down on two feet and she trots up to me, handing me the card.

the cards are in chris's hand writing, but has a drawing made by lola on the front.

"she told me what to write." chris clarifies setting down maggie aswell.

maggie runs up to me, "and im sorry for wetting the bed but dad says it wasn't my fault and you were just tired and grumpy and it was okay -.."

shes cut off by chris's hand over her mouth "shh shush".

"christopher!" i laugh, slapping his arm with a scoff.

—-----------------------..••°°°°••..-------------------—-

got a good feeling bout this one team!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[opal-owl-flight]

Your Protege. (Pt 2)

(Pt 1)

SAME DAY DELIVERY. HERE WE GO.

This is the only time theyve shown such sheer anger in front of anyone. Theyre usually just cold, or disappointed -- never furious.

Its one of the times Neo3 actually feared the captain.

MORE NOTES ABT CUTTLEFISH BELOW

Not over how Cuttlefish is this fuckign loony old man who pushes his ideas on young 3, constantly goinf "yall kids think Im crazy but LOOK WHOS RIGHT FOR ONCE", "I cant fight anymore, thats why I got you!", "Youre hero material, kid! Youre gonna be big!!"

Then raves abt how the Octarians are evil

3, who was desperate for praise from someone who reminds them of their direct relatives, does everything he says to do just to be appreciated more.

Cuttlefish taught them how to fight hand to hand. How to move and think on their feet. (Though they were given similar in their younger years)

Cuttlefish was... generally more warm and supportive than their dad, but yknow. A lot of this started bc 3 agreed to work for him. Be his deadly weapon.

-------

Cuttlefish was more concerned abt the Zapfish than 3s well-being then... He knew that the constant praising was working so hes gonna keep doing it. (...mostly bc thats what worked on HIM back then)

After 3 does his dirty work, he realized he should probably keep the kid around bc his paranoia with Octaria is a damn bitch and this kid is one hell of an ass kicker. They dont mind. Right??

3 never showed any sign of wanting to leave. Why would they, he was so kind to them, more than their dad or grandad ever was. (Also the paranoia rubbed off on them. Oops!)

Then, he asked them to go on a longer patrol with him. Pushed them to their fucking limit. Bc of what?? Octaria making moves again? (Octavio did make moves but they were already, as we say in the game, "too far from the objective to really contribute to the fight". This is why agent 4 was dragged in.)

There, 3 saw more and more that hes just a loony old man who wanted to have a fancy weapon to protect him in his crusade. A crusade they never really questioned, mind you. Theyve no reason to believe Octaria was nice in any way, not when they keep trying to kill them. (...in self defense. They havent realized, yet.)

Then they encounter 8, who had dropped her weapon at the sight of them. Raising her hands in surrender. 3 was far ahead of the coot, and managed to actually talk to her and everything. They were this close to bringing her back to Inkopolis as a friend, until the bastard ruined the moment.

Cuttlefish still told them that she was a danger. It might be a trick! Dont put your guard down! Pressured to follow their superior, 3s mask returns to their face, turning onto 8 with the herl shot ready to fire.

Then they all tumbled into the metro.......

....for Cuttlefish to use yet ANOTHER kid (8) to get him out of a hairy situation.

--------

Hes a crazy old man. Only caring for any of the kids beyond the platoon after they do his dirty work.

Like "mmm! Thank you for committing the war crimes in my stead. Youre a good kid, you know that? Anything I can do to support you further? Mmmm???"

...I dont think hes aware.

Hes not aware that hes harming the entire platoon, bc in his mind hes doing the greater good here. Get some easily manipulable kids on the street, shower em with praise and promises of glory and valor, and theyll do ANYTHING for you.

Including the warcrimes you keep wanting to do.

I think...I think he doesnt know hes manipulating the kids. I think he genuinely believes his own promises. He glamorizes the valor of war bc hes a commander who sits in the back of it. He really believes that this is for the best. He believes that this is how you inspire your troops to fight.

--------

LETS GO THATS ALL MY NOTES I SPENT ALL DAY FINISHING THIS COMIC. GOODNIGHT INKOPOLIS!!!

[pennylane-dreams]

In 1962, George Harrison sent a 3-page letter to a fan named Susan, thanking her for sending gifts to his family and the rest of the letter was a set of instructions on how to wash a car and dump dirty water on Paul's car. Transcription: 42 BRODIE AVE. MOSSLEY HILL LIVERPOOL 18 Dear Susan, I hope you had a good chrimbo, and have a happy nuclear too. Thank you for giving my mum flowers and chocs. [ it was you wasn't it] Thanks also for the card, in fact THANKS A HEAP SUSAN. "Your too kind". Instructions for washing car: - 1. Use plenty of soapy clean water, preferably warm. 2. When car is [though it may take a lot of water] - clean, leave to dry off for about 20 minutes. [ You can have a cup of tea now]. 3. Now ask mother to find some dusters [2 each] and with the polish, apply with No. 1 duster over an area of about 1 sq foot at a time, in a circular motion. Dont leave it too long before polishing off. This should carried out until the car is spotless, and gleaming clean. [Dont forget the wheels!] 4. Take 1 brush or vacuum cleaner, and have a bash at the carpets. They too can be made to look like new. 5. The Windows [interior] should be polished new, after which you can retire for another tea. 6. Before returning home, i suggest you look over the car again, for any parts you may have missed out, on finding, they should be cleaned accordingly. 7. Now proceed to 20 Forthlin RD. with about 6 buckets full of dirty muddy greasy water, where a shiny ford Classic will be seen. Spread contents of the buckets evenly, so as to leave a nice film of muck over the car. You can now return home knowing you have done your deed for the day. Thank you!!! Proceedings should be carried out about the 8th of January, Thanks again for the card cheerio for now dont forget Ban the Bog love from George [Harrison] xxxxxx

[doodlebeeberry]

It's OSC gift exchange number 4, baby!!

Thats right folks!!! once again so so excited to host the gift exchange, hopefully itll be yet another fun one! :D

doing things slightly differently this year: if you wanna join you can just fill out this google form! You can also still join by replying/reblogging/dming me with what you'd like if you prefer to do it that way though.

Rules, dates, and details are all under the cut (and also in the form), please read them through fully before joining!!!

Entries close November 28th at midnight (est)!

For those not in the know, the gift exchange is just what is sounds like! Upon joining, you tell me what you like to see in you gift. After, you'll be randomly assigned a giftee, and will make a gift for them based on what they've requested. When the day comes, you'll post your gift and @ the person it's for!

The timeline this year looks like this:

Nov. 7-Nov. 28: Join the gift exchange by filling out this form, dm-ing me, replying, or tagging this post with what you'd like to receive. You can ask for anything--shows, ships, ocs, whatever! Additionally, if there's anything you dont want to see or can't make (ie, ships that make you uncomfortable), you can make a note of that as well

Dec. 1: I'll let you know who you've been assigned and what they'd like! This'll most likely be done through tumblr dms, so if that's an issue do let me know!

Dec. 1-30: You make your gift! This can be anything, from art to writing to music and more! so long as you follow your giftee's request, the possibilities are endless!

Dec. 31: Post your gift, being sure to @ the person its from! Please do not post your gift before this date!!!

Some other things to note:

You can request anything--shows, characters, ships, etc--just please make sure they are osc related! it is an osc gift exchange after all

Asking for OCs is very much allowed, just be sure to provide me with a reference when you join

in regards to things you can't do, please do note that "i haven't seen x show so i wont do it" or "i'll only do requests for x show" are not being treated as valid requests in this context, so i won't guarantee them. also please remember that giftees are assigned randomly.

If your giftee requests more than one thing, you aren't obligated to fulfill all of their requests if you don't want to. Just be sure to do one of them and you're good!

If you need to drop out for any reason, that is completely ok, it happens! just please be sure to let me know ahead of time so I can re-assign your giftee!

On that note, if you have reason to believe you will be unavailable or otherwise unable to post your gift on the 31st, please be sure to tell me so we can work something out! Additionally, if you can't reach out on tumblr (say, your blog gets deleted) you can also poke me on bluesky (@ bumblebeeberry) or discord (thatonegaycat) about it

You can not join anonymously! I just don't think it'd fair to your giftee

While I highly doubt I will need to, I can bar you from participating if I deem it necessary. Again, unlikely, but in the off-chance it does happen I will message you to let you know, pretty please do not yell at me if I do

Not a requirement but when I send you your giftee if you could just let me know you saw the message i would greatly appreciate it!

As per usual I'll be tagging everything with #osc gift exchange, feel free to use it on your gift as well!

That's it! if you have any questions, comments, notes, what have you, please don't hesitate to dm me! :]

[fushigurokogane]

❝𝐓𝐨 𝐁𝐞 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠❞

Royalty AU || Crown Prince Megumi x Reader || Part 4

"Either way, you weren’t supposed to catch the eye of the Crown Prince. But you did — not because you tried to impress him, but because you didn’t."

wc: 2.5k

authors note: HEYYYYY I tried out a new concept for thisss i dont know if i like it that muchhh but i'll appreciate it if you tell me your opinions on it!!

warnings: fem!reader, crown prince! megumi, forbidden romance, emotional manipulation, power imbalance, and political pressure, kidnapping, violence

previous | next

masterlist

The garden was quiet that morning — deceptively so — with dew still clinging to the grass and the scent of damp roses curling through the air. You slipped through the old colonnade behind the greenhouse like you always did, your fingers trailing along the sun-warmed stone, mind already wandering ahead to the hidden corner of the archives where he said he’d meet you.

Another secret meeting. Another carefully carved hour in a day that didn’t belong to either of you.

But then, a shift. A whisper of movement where there should have been none.

You turned, expecting nothing. And came face to face with a stranger’s eyes.

A hand, rough and gloved, clamped over your mouth.

You thrashed. Kicked. Bit down hard enough to draw blood. But there were more hands. More bodies. The scent of lavender and clove oil filled your lungs, thick and choking.

A voice at your ear. Low. Calm.

“Don’t struggle. It’ll be worse if you do.”

Your vision spun. A sharp pain bloomed at the side of your skull — light flashing behind your eyes — and then:

Nothing. When you woke up, it was to cold stone and the dull, echoing ring of silence. The ache in your skull pulsed with every heartbeat. Your wrists were bound, though not tightly — not enough to cut off blood, just enough to remind you you weren’t going anywhere.

The room was unremarkable. Dusty, unused. A single narrow window high above your head let in a stripe of gray light. There was no fire, no warmth. Only a damp chill and the faint scent of perfumed gloves.

You weren’t sure how long passed before the door creaked open.

But when it did, Lady Hisakawa filled the frame like a painting — perfect and poisonous. Draped in violet brocade, her silhouette was elegant, polished, wrong. Her expression was smooth, almost amused, as she stepped inside and closed the door with a soft click. She moved like smoke — slow, fluid, entirely at ease in her cruelty. Draped in violet silk, her hair pinned in gleaming coils, she looked like something out of a painting. Beautiful. Impossibly composed. And absolutely terrifying.

Her eyes found you immediately, and her lips curled with quiet satisfaction.

“There you are, I was beginning to think you’d die in your sleep.” she said, voice light. “I told you, pretty things don’t last long in this palace.”

You flinched as she approached, the soft click of her heels echoing around the chamber like a clock ticking down. You didn’t speak. Didn’t give her the satisfaction.

She stepped closer, heels clicking like clockwork. Every movement precise. Curated.

“Did you really think you were special?” she asked. “That he saw you? That he would choose you over the kingdom?”

You met her eyes.

And you didn’t flinch.

She smiled wider, but there was a flicker of something beneath it. Something tight. Controlled.

“You’re not from here. You don’t know how this works. People like you — they’re temporary. You were entertaining. A sweet little secret for the Crown Prince to tuck away until it became inconvenient.”

Still, you said nothing. “Ah,” she mused, circling you like a vulture. “The silent martyr. Very noble. But let me tell you a secret.”

She leaned down, voice low and knife-sharp.

“They always break in the end.”

You exhaled slowly. “If I break, it won’t be because of you.”

She straightened. “Oh, but it will. Because this ends one of two ways, my dear — either you disappear quietly, and he forgets you… or you stay, and you destroy him.”

You froze. Lady Hisakawa tilted her head, watching your reaction. “Oh, you think he loves you. I’m sure it feels very romantic — stolen moments, whispered promises. But do you know what happens when love becomes a weakness?”

She stepped closer, and for the first time, her voice turned cold.

“Enemies notice. They press where it hurts. And people die.”

You swallowed.

She smiled again, soft and sweet.

“So, here’s my offer. You stay here. Hidden. Forgotten. No one needs to get hurt. Eventually, he’ll be married...to someone worthy, and this foolishness will be a memory.” You narrowed your eyes. “And if I don’t?”

Her smile thinned. “Then I make sure he never finds what’s left of you.”

She left you in silence.

And for the first time since you came to the palace, you truly didn’t know if you’d see Megumi again. “But here’s the truth no one told you,” she said softly, smiling. “You were never meant to last.”

She stood again, brushing invisible dust from her sleeve.

“You’ll stay here,” she said. “Until he forgets you. And he will. They always do.”

With a final glance — more bored than cruel — she turned on her heel and walked out.

The door shut behind her with a dull finality.

And you were alone. ---

Back in the palace, something was already unraveling.

Megumi’s day began like any other — until the hour passed when you were supposed to meet him in the archives. Then two hours. Then five.

No mark in the ledger.

No flower in the window.

No sign.

At first, he tried to be rational.

Maybe you were delayed. Maybe there was a change in the servants’ schedule. Maybe—

But no. He knew you.

You never broke pattern unless something was wrong. He questioned the servants. The guards. Pulled aside a footman with shaking hands and demanded answers. Some whispered you’d left. Some swore they’d seen you with someone else. But none of it felt right.

And then a slip.

One of the younger kitchen hands, eyes wide with fear, mumbled about seeing you by the greenhouse. Not alone.

Taken.

That single word detonated something inside Megumi he hadn’t known was there.

That night, he didn’t sleep.

He tore through palace records. Rechecked every guard’s post. He sent messages under seal, called in every favor he was owed. Sought out shadows for information too dangerous to write down.

But all trails — all signs — pointed toward one name.

Lady Hisakawa.

And so, when the morning light bled red through the curtains, he did the one thing no one dared suggest.

He went to her. --- The royal conservatory was serene in its deception. Morning sunlight dappled through stained glass, casting prisms across marble floors. Birds chirped in gilded cages. A fountain murmured softly, as if the world hadn’t tilted off its axis. Lady Hisakawa waited there, seated like a queen in an emerald velvet chair, sipping tea that didn’t steam. When he entered, she looked up with a smile that made his skin crawl. “Your Highness,” she said sweetly as he approached. “To what do I owe the—”

“Where is she.”

Not a question. A demand.

She blinked, lashes fluttering. “I’m sorry?”

“You’re not, Where. Is. She.” She tilted her head, smile brittle. “You’re accusing me?”

“I’m stating a fact.”

Silence stretched.

Then she moved — not away, but closer, slow and deliberate. Her voice lowered.

“I understand what you’re feeling,” she said gently. “Truly, I do. The fear. The panic. But she’s not who you think she is.” He said nothing.

“She doesn’t love you,” Lady Hisakawa whispered, stepping closer, her voice like silk slipping over a blade. “She needs you. That’s different.”

Still, he did not speak.

“I know you, Megumi,” she murmured. “I see you. That emptiness inside you. That hollow place in your chest you try to patch with loyalty, with sacrifice. She can’t fill it.”

She was close now — too close. Her hand brushed his arm, trailing upward with deliberate softness. Her fingers lingered at his shoulder, then slid to the front of his chest, palm splayed over his heart.

“But I can,” she said, her voice a slow pour of poison and honey. “I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted.”

Her other hand reached up, the back of her knuckles brushing along his jaw, featherlight. “You deserve more than stolen meetings and secret looks. You deserve someone who understands what it means to be royal.”

She leaned in, her breath brushing his cheek.

Her lips barely grazed the edge of his mouth.

And that was when he moved.

His hand snapped up, catching her wrist midair — not gently.

The crack of bones beneath his grip was quiet.

But unmistakable.

Lady Hisakawa gasped — not in pain, but in shock. The illusion of power snapped like glass underfoot.

“No,” he said, voice like winter frost. “You don’t see me at all.”

He dropped her hand, and it fell limply to her side.

“She trusted me,” he said, each word honed to a blade’s edge. “And you stole her.”

Her expression twisted.

“She’s beneath you,” she spat, mask shattering. “You’d throw away your crown for a nobody?”

He didn’t flinch.

“I’d burn this entire kingdom to ash to bring her back.”

Then — he turned, just slightly, looking at her over his shoulder.

His voice dropped, a whisper sharpened by fury.

“And if you’ve hurt her…”

He let the silence hang like a noose.

“I will make you regret ever being born.”

Lady Hisakawa’s nostrils flared. Her hand trembled as she held it against her chest.

“You can’t threaten me, Megumi.”

“No,” he said, his eyes like ice over black water. “But I can expose you.”

She faltered. Her poise unraveled just enough to show the fear underneath.

“She’s a nobody,” she hissed, desperate now. “She’s not worth—”

“She’s worth everything,” he said.

And then, quieter still — low, certain, absolute.

“She’s mine.”

He walked away, leaving her in silence, cloaked in her own venom.

Furious. Trembling. Alone.

He was bruised.

But not broken.

Not yet.

@obsessivestrawberrysimp

[coffeegnomee]

I'm not the most knowledgeable about season 4 so I would love your thoughts on all the comparisons to it , and also generally on zam's rapidly declining, slightly unstable mental health in the latest stream ( only if you watched it of course! )

This was about the stream "staring into the sun" and I finally finished it (not "crawling", so if anything changed I'm not liable)

So, first off, on a genuine level, I think we have, because of this stream, entered into new and entirely uncharted waters, something that will make season 6 and sunkissed into entirely and completely their own story that no longer has any relations to s4. So not knowing the past isn't a detriment.

Additionally, what actually happened in two years ago isn't relevant to what Zam remembers happening two years ago. And, on a very important note, what happened in season 5 is vitally important to not leave out when comparing s6 to s4. Jumper's betrayal has scarred Zam in ways far deeper than were ever present during the eclipse federation and BOTH seasons are going into what is going on in s6.

That being said I am more than happy to oblige :) I will always and forever yap about how much the past returns to haunt us.

Though THAT being said, I went to look up a Vitalasy quote and got light headed from how DRAMATICALLY terrible and awful and terrible zam and vi were at communication.

There was a sign room on 3/22/23 (vod archive is here) where the only way Zam felt like he could communicate his thoughts to Vi and Subz was by writing them down on signs and hollllyyy shit. That was so awkward I forgot how awkward that was. Zam could literally barely put two words together in defense of his thoughts, could only go "yeah" as Vi read the signs. And Vi literally had his thoughts written down in a book that he kept opening up and reading and highlighting to remind him of his points and would make small frustrated noises at how they were on the same page and yet also not on the same page. And also be unable to just say what he was feeling.

We are in an entirely, and I mean entirely different era of princezam. season 4 princezam could quite literally never bring derap back and tell him how he has hurt him in many words and with examples. The difference is mind boggling.

Ok so. this is going to be rambling because I dont have time to really think things through and there's a lot to cover. buckle up.

The quote I was trying to find, and didn't even really find, was Vi saying to his chat, alone, how zam leaving would be the worst thing to happen to eclipse federation. It's something I vivdly remember him saying and how much I flat out thought he was lying when I heard it the first time. How could Zam leaving or Eclipse breaking up be the worst thing when all it felt like was Vi was trying to control Zam. I didn't believe that Vi truly loved Zam and cared about having him around regardless of what the plot was.

But in the stream he had his book that he read out saying, “We have the gear, we have the hearts, we have the abilities, and we have each other” and throughout the conversation, re-highlights “we have each other” over and over. And once he was alone with chat he said, “I don't even want to build [the prison] without the team’s support”.

At that point in the 3/22 stream above, he was willing to drop the whole project over Zam and Subz being happy with it. And that'll do for my point.

Unluckily for him, between that stream and two days later when they had another meeting, Zam decided that he didn't want to be a burden for the team and would just willingly and excitingly go along with the plan to build a bedrock prison at spawn with the exploited bedrock. He jumped into a hole and killed himself to prove his commitment to the project. Vi also jumped in and also died. Oh my eclipse federation.

As recap if you have no idea what Eclipse is:

The Eclipse Federation started as a team with a goal to not be nice to the server that didn't care about them anymore. The server treated Subz like shit. He had been pacifist all season and kept getting dragged into conflict and killed, and Mapicc (and zam and spoke) blew up his base, and he was tired of being stepped on. So it was time to stand back up.

Vi joined Eclipse with a secret plan that only Subz knew (and ash and spoke) that had been planned since day 1 of the server: he had the wormhole. A game breaking exploit that got them creative mode items and eventually, (after zam betrayed, and only for spoke), op itself. But he wanted to reveal this slowly and excitedly to the server to create a sense of fun and mystery. And he also wanted to balance the server by having the exploits and only using them to defend those he cared about and to create a prison to deter others from trying to be tyrants. He didn't want to be the villain.

Zam joined Eclipse because Mapicc was hunting him down over and over and had just recently banned him off and revived him and left him on one heart. He had betrayed and left Mapicc (and ro) because they had duped thousands of items with a different exploit and Zam was totally done with anyone having an unfair advantage on this server. He burned the dupes and left the team.

Subz took him in when he had nothing, gave him gear and some of his own hearts, gave him a base, a home, and a team to protect him if Mapicc came back after him (and mapicc did. and they protected him).

Eclipse thrived as a team for over a month or so. Laughed and made bases, logged on at odd hours of the night to save Zam, showed up for him and were a great and supportive team. Nothing was wrong.

But that sense of safety would be cracked and then shattered over the coming months.

Bacon said it great at the start of this stream, and if you're new and reading this, honestly so much of what is relevant in comparison of the past is said by the members in the modern era.

But Bacon said that intention and action matter, and maybe action a bit more. Zam agreed and said that what still hurt was how Vi and Subz were good to him. And he wished he didn't kill Vi when he betrayed him, that he only did that because he wanted to twist the knife.

And importantly if you're paying attention at home, Zam is finally in a spot where he accepts that he would have left Eclipse either way. It's just how he left that haunts him.

What the "intention" and "action" were is where Eclipse became the most fucked shakespearean tragedy on levels far past what you could imagine. I'm always one to giggle about how s6 is like s4, but it is maybe 20% like s4. s4 was a fucking crazy ride. I highly recommend it.

Over the coming months, Vi would try and Not reveal to Zam too much about what was planned for the wormhole because he 1) didn't want to spoil it and 2) didn't want ANYONE to figure out how to do this exploit bc it would work on any server.

But also he would desperately, and consistently, and so very very terribly at doing it, was trying to keep Zam on the team... by lying to him.

This is where chat started bringing up s4 when Zam and Derap were talking in the base. Vitalasy lied about a lot of things to Zam, and they specifically had a "no more lies" conversation too.

And from Vitalasy's point of view, he was only holding things back for Zam's own good, to keep Zam happy, to make Zam feel included, to protect Zam from getting scared and running when there was nothing to be scared about.

He also wanted to tell Zam everything, but Zam had said if chat couldn't know, he didn't want to know, and that he trusted Vitalasy.

But Vi had so many moving parts to work with that he would say something like "we have a bedrock farm in the end" to, from his mind, appease chat and keep them off the trail, while also imagining that Zam would understand that there was no bedrock farm. And then he also forgot that he even said that to Zam at all because it was not meant to be taken as the truth.

(Or like Derap says he was the only one to fight against Subz, not because he was but because that's what it felt like to him. It wasn't meant to be taken fully literally, it was just what was important to say)

But Zam would find out it was a lie, and his trust would waver. He'd think about how Vitalasy was adamant he only look at the first 20 (iirc) pages of the wormhole plan and was unwilling to let him see more. In the moment Zam was okay with not getting more info because he trusted Vi implicitly, but Planet eventually saw the book and told Zam that there were only 20 pages and Vi was lying to him.

On that note, another similarity is Bacon talking with Zam. Him and Planet would have tons of conversations with Zam as Zam worked through trusting and then not trusting his team and getting more and more miserable. I made a poll a while back about whether or not they were the reason Zam left Eclipse or if he would have left them anyway and the poll came back a perfect 50/50.

Which is funny because chat in s4 was SO 50/50 on Zam staying or leaving Eclipse. And chat now is so 50/50 on if Derap is being manipulative or not. All that chatter is gonna get loud. And makes it quite reminiscent of s4 all by itself.

Now, now that everything is said and done with s4, it is very very clear that Vitalasy was NOT wanting to be the villain. He said it All the time, but the way that he said it made it Sound like he was straight out lying. He would give examples of the god powers he could do, and how he could be evil, and then immediately say, but I wont do that, i couldn't do that. i don't have the heart to do that.

At times he would look like someone brandishing a knife saying, I'm not going to kill you. That doesn't exactly fill anyone with confidence of not being stabbed.

And when players would ask him to put the exploits down he would say, what exploits? I'm not exploiting right now. While he was flying with potion particles wafting off his character. Somehow, in his mind, since the exploit was obtained in a specific way, one was only exploiting during the moments that they were obtaining the powers, and then after it was just vanilla minecraft bc most of it was potions (with all the positive or negative affects in the game), or it was a double-join glitch and once you set it up it wasn't your fault that you could fly.

And when you watch lifesteal, and specifically princezam, having the heart to commit atrocities is not part of the equation. Mapicc and Zam and Ro committed atrocity after atrocity as Team Awesome, despite Zam clearly having remorse and regrets about the evil he was doing. Despite Zam deciding that he didn't want to be evil and wanted to get rid of the exploits. Despite him leaving Team Awesome. None of those feelings made Zam Not commit those villainous acts.

So to turn around and have Vi insist over and over that he wouldn't use these exploits for real... it just sounded fake. Absurd.

Especially as the plot progressed and Zam betrayed and Vi started Actually Using the exploits constantly, and killed Planet a dozen times in the prison, and was flying around, and was breaking out of the prison when Spoke put him in. He kept using more and more exploits all the while insisting that he wasn't going to be the villain. It was the most fascinating train wreck to watch. And so painful. And so mind bogglingly flabbergasting for truly, and I mean truly, not knowing what was going on in Vitalasy's mind.

But in the end, as Bacon was saying, Vi gave up. As he kept talking to Bacon and Zam and Planet, over time Vi got more and more sad about being the villain, he hated being the villain, he felt misunderstood because he just wanted to use the exploits to protect those he cared about, and he missed princezam and was so SO sad (and mad) about Eclipse falling apart, and so he finally decided to give up all the exploits and burn them in front of the server.

The Server thought he was full of shit and had more exploits at his base and laughed him off the stage.

And Vi banned himself off the server that day. Gave up being the villain in the most permanent way he knew how. And the arc ground to a screeching halt.

...until Subz revived Vitalasy specifically to tour him around the server, reveal a new base, and then tell Vi to kill him. Ban himself off the server because Subz had gotten to a point of missing Zam and Vi and him being a team that he thought maybe, maybe, if he wasn't around they would come back together.

And Zam, well he thought of banning himself off the server too, but ultimately didn't decide to do it, not really but partially because Vi's revival and Subz' subsequent ban, it would have been Too Much to have a trifecta of suicide from one team. But they were literally all doing the same depression plot all on top of each other. It was so much tragedy oh my goodness.

but instead of banning himself, Zam joined Spoke for the wormhole, deciding that it would be best for the server and everyone if he just ended it as fast as possible so they could move on to season 5. (also Pangi bedrocked trapped him to change the trajectory of his life)

So the parallels that keep coming up are the looming doom that Vi/Derap are lying to him. That Zam is unable to tell what is the truth and who to trust.

And that's the terrible part, imo, of s6 and these parallels, and the reason I wanted to find that Vitalasy quote at the start.

You CAN, from a certain angle, when you boil out the wormhole, say that the Vitalasy Zam arc was Vitalasy desperately trying to stay teammates with PrinceZam by telling him anything he needed to hear to be okay with not betraying them.

And there is nothing Zam hates more than being lied to. Even exploits. In the end, before he betrayed, it was more about the fact that Vi lied to him about the bedrock farm and lied to him about changing the prison and lied to him about a bunch of other things, than it was about the exploits themselves. Though, finding a vault of Vi's exploits IS what sealed the bag for Zam betraying.

Which sounds incredibly similar to what Derap is doing.

Even Derap being so accommodating to talking to Zam about his concerns is so Vitalasy. And changing his plans based on Zam, but in a way that Zam doesn't quite trust, is so s4. I don't even know how to begin to describe the actual vi and zam relationship in s4, but this derap one is a fading parallel that is so so so close and also seemingly so so so far.

I do not think Derap is being manipulative on purpose, and esp after this stream I don't think he any sort of master plan like Vi had with the wormhole. And it was mostly the wormhole that drove Zam away from Vi.

But the wormhole was just the convenient glitter that allowed Zam to delve into a greater problem: his communication skills and his hatred of being lied to.

And when you take season 5 into consideration, where Jumper lied to him straight out for three months straight, Zam is now completely triggered by the smallest hint of a lie.

And Derap is manipulating the truth to make himself look good or drive a point home about Zam. He isn't lying to cover some big plan up.

This is where I'm like, this is not going to end like Eclipse at all. This is already so far past were Eclipse was it's crazy. Because Zam has learned how to articulate himself and stand up for himself. He's completely gun-shy about it, but he is learning how to do it and actually practicing the skills he needs to make it happen.

But, I made this comparison a couple of posts ago, with Derap specifically vod-watch stream sniping Zam (which Zam does not know about at all, so no snitches, also it's technically legal bc they're teammates), this pulls s6 back into the realm of s4. Zam Hates stream sniping just as much as he hates exploits. The game is set and we shall have to wait and see what comes of it.

But between vod watching his teammate to find out why he is not trusting him and having the prot 4 exploit, Derap was on thin ice for keeping secrets while manipulating the truth. Now that the prot 4 exploit is out in the open, it doesn't help much, but it does change things. I can only imagine what might happen if Derap keeps accidentally slipping up and mentioning chat messages he's not supposed to have seen.. like needing a PR team.

But without the big evil looking plan like Vi had, idk if the parallels are paralleling. Though Zam ending stream talking about is it even worth continuing is So s4. The constant back and forth and indecision was the hallmark for how Zam ended up being completely miserable in Eclipse by the end and the fertile ground to make him betray the second he found the full exploits.

But the more desperate Derap is to keep Zam on his team, the more Zam is going to panic at the smallest things.

Now, for Zam's deteriorating mental health... this isn't new in the slightest. If anything he is wildly more stable now than the past, as I've mentioned above. I don't really know how to phrase any of this because Zam from a mental health perspective is the largest can of worms you can open. There are so many layers and discoveries and learning and pain and woundedness.

He has a history of paranoia that started from the first moment he stepped onto this server, then he was hunted down in his base multiple times so trading with villagers gives him trauma for being jumped. He is constantly thinking about how he might be betrayed because he was betrayed several times before s5, and then in s5 he was almost completely broken by Jumper's betrayal and now everything triggers that trauma. He also was the betrayer many times and knows what it feels like to be the one hurting others and is anxious he will do it again or that others will do it to him. He's a people pleaser who cannot bear anyone being mad at him and will do whatever it takes to make it better. But he's also a recovering people pleaser and learning how to stand up for himself and his needs.

He doesn't even know what's wrong with himself, but as he said to Derap, Derap saying that makes him feel like there is something terribly wrong with himself. That he's a burden too heavy to bear. And that nobody wants him. The negative self talk is loud.

None of this is new. This is the princezam experience. He gets himself into these situations that make him face some aspect about himself that cuts far deeper than any lore would normally go. And after watching for 2 years it's incredible to see the growth.

And then there's the stone sword mentality. Which I don't necessarily put under mental health though it's adjacent.

You probably don't remember, but early on in s6 Zam had a late night, while making the flame volcano, where he told chat the origin of the stone sword mentality. (7/21/24, about 7:48:00)

His first every youtube video win, he had a public smp with his friends and everyone was xraying and hacking and when someone became the villain and killed Zam, he just set his bed and made stone swords and kept running in, over and over and over. And eventually he actually won. Running at the villain over and over worked.

In terms of lifesteal, stone sword comes from the day in s4 when he died to Mapicc and Ro while fighting for spawn. They went to his respawn and killed him 13 more times. And all throughout Zam was making stone swords trying to kill Ro, but Ro put him on two hearts and left him alone. Mapicc saying they're gods not demons.

But earlier than that, in the finale of s3, Zam made stone axes and ran at Spoke over and over while Spoke slowly farmed him off the sever. And Spoke banned him. Zam accepted the loss and learned that lifesteal is about killing, and gave up being the hero.

And in s5 Zam threw himself at Minute over and over. Usually with Mapicc, but one time in particular he set his bed in front of Minute and fought him until Minute killed him just to see what Minute would do when he respawned right there. This was just before the Joker arc truly started.

In the Joker arc, in the end, after trying for weeks to get Minute and Jumper to kill him, he finally got his wish and got 4v1ed and died almost instantly, banning himself off the server in gayjoker flare, cackling that he won.

Throwing himself at impossible odds and never giving up is princezam. Doing it even if it means death is princezam. The gross disregard for his own life is princezam.

He only looks at the underlying reasonings occasionally. How he runs from his problems by killing himself. Any time he doesn't know what to do, he solves it with a self-ban on someone's sword.

This was actually the very first time that he allowed the connection to be made that he wanted to suicide on Flame's sword and actually used that word.

But it's so heartbreaking to hear him talk about it with Derap.  ZAM: “it is dumb. Its self destructive, its stupid, its everything everyone says about me”

Over the years Zam has been called insane and stupid and been misunderstood and a lot of shitty things by the members. And he hears what they say, and he takes it on too. How can he not believe them when everyone says this about him.

But the stone sword goes so much deeper than a destructive defense mechanism. In so many ways it really strikes the core of who Zam is, how he views lifesteal and minecraft. A place where lives don't matter, where you can fight for what you believe in even if you have no hope.

Stone swording has helped him countless times. Being willing to die so easily has kept him safe in some ways, it makes the pvpers pause and be confused and not understand why he would do this. He does still die, but it makes them pause, and in that pause and in being able to grind back up to full gear so easily, it gives Zam the emotional upper hand in the face of power he could never defeat.

And, potentially, makes the pvper think differently about the server.

So much of the s5 Joker arc was about getting Minute and Jumper to understand that they need to kill people on the killing people sever, and Zam tried teaching them that by being a destructive menace that also set his bed in front of them and asked them to kill him over and over. He tested and pushed and prodded them into doing what this sever was made for. Making them loose the idealogical battle so Mapicc and The Players could win the pvp battle.

And even in this stream with Flame, there was none of the gayjoker flare or off-putting delightful giggles, but Zam was teaching Flame much the same lesson, in many of the same way. That he really doesn't have a plan and he can kill him. That he shouldn't be so paranoid about a trap.

All along the way teaching them something about lifesteal that cannot be taught any other way. Death is not important. Lives don't matter.

This is princezam. This is what he does.

And it's so interesting how an idealogical look on lifesteal and minecraft can so easily turn into a discussion about self destructive coping mechanisms.

And Zam wears his "I'm dumb, stupid, what the fuck is wrong with you" mental health as its own defense mechanism. He claims (or rejects) but still believes the shit people say to him which only furthers the idea that this ideology about minecraft IS fundamentally fucked up, that he is broken beyond repair. Which only serves to spiral the discussion rather than letting Zam just be Zam.

Because as he reminisced about the first stone sword incident on that public smp, he said how lifesteal feels like that server, like home.

But going back to how he learned lifesteal was about killing and gave up being the hero in s3, this was part of why Eclipse fell apart.

Vitalasy partially wanted Zam on the team because he wanted Zam to be their moral backbone and make sure they didn't go too far. Zam gave himself the duty of being "the anchor", and that position weighed on him so heavily. He hated being the voice of what they should or should not do, and in his heart he didn't want them to do exploits at all, but he felt bad that Vi had this plan all season and didn't want to be the reason it didn't happen.

But what Vitalasy didn't realize was just how morally different Zam had become.

It was Vi who spurred Zam on to be the hero at the end of s3, passing the mantle of keeping everyone revived onto Zam while Vi banned himself off for the season. And Zam embraced the mantle, fighting for the people of the server against Spoke and Clown who would rather see everyone banned.

But over the course of the finale, Spoke got nearly everyone to betray Zam at some point, leaking his base over and over, and eventually convinced Zam that this is lifesteal and the server must die.

This hugely marked Zam going into s4. He didn't want to be the main character, he didn't want to be the hero, and for the first time ever (iirc) he started talking about how on lifesteal there are no heroes and villains. He became morally grey.

And in his greyness he joined Team Awesome and committed the above atrocities.

But what Vitalasy didn't realize, not until it was too late, was that all this had happened to Zam, and he had been changed since he last saw him before the finale of s3. Vi was inactive most of s4 until Eclipse, only logging on at the start, killing people (like Mapicc and Ro) and and giving hearts to Mapicc and Ro, and then logging off. And Zam was not on s4 at that time, joining a couple months late. The two didn't speak a word to each other from the day of the s3 finale (actually it might've been before then) until they were both on Eclipse.

So when he asked Zam to be their moral backbone, he thought Zam was morally upright.

But Zam is both morally upright and morally corrupt. He will equally fight for the server and repair spawn and get rid of exploits just as much as he will use exploits and kill innocents and be a cold blooded killer.

And he doesn't know himself what is the right thing to do.

So to put him in the position of being the moral backbone, instead of being a good thing and what Zam was good at, was the actual worst place for him to be.

And I think a similar thing is happening with Derap. Derap doesn't realize how Zam has changed and been changed by the server. He's aware of the lore because he used to watch streams, but he hasn't really truly gotten it into himself (or maybe he's just not acting on it bc his character can't know any of this bc he's new) that Zam has been utterly changed by s4 and s5. He just thinks Zam needs to stick up for himself a bit and get over the past. But Zam is deeply, deeply affected by what happened. And that's going to cause conflict within the team.

In some ways Derap is just like Vitalasy, but in others he is totally and completely wholesome and the best thing that's ever happened to Zam on lifesteal (which you also could have said about Vitalasy at some points), a teammate that really wants to be with him through thick and thin and isn't afraid of any of the darkness.

It's exactly the kind of relationship that heals past wounds, makes you believe there is good in the world again, and that maybe you're lovable even if you're a mess.

But he doesn't understand the darkness, hasn't seen it, so how can he truly understand.

And that's exactly what we're going to be watching unfold in the coming month(s).

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Cuddling w/ Various Creepypastas 1/2

Notes: some characters have shorter sections but that's mostly due to me already writing cuddling hcs for said character! Reader is GN, this entire post can be read as either platonic or romantic! Save for the usual characters I dont write romantic for. Depending on the reception of this post I might do a part two with other characters.. do feel free to ask for anyone specific who wasn't in this post!

Characters: Slenderman, Splendorman, Eyeless Jack, Laughing Jack, Masky, Hoodie, Jeff the Killer

SLENDERMAN

Physical affection with slenderman is fairly rare. Sure, he gives you the mock kiss every now and then and might even snake a tendril around you to pull you close to him if you start straying in the woods... but to actually cuddle? Good luck with that! Though.. I feel it would be likely in a moment of much needed comfort- perhaps you're sick or you just point blank ask him to hold you.. hes cold, and you can feel bones but you dont care all that much. Hes stiff as a board, though. By default hes the big spoon, will likely never be the little spoon ever. Sometimes wraps his tentacles around you if you need to get even closer 4/10 because I love him but cuddling with him would be so so rare

SPLENDORMAN

Runs more on the warmer side! Loves being the big spoon, and of course hes very tall! Sometimes hums when you two lean into one another. Rocks you too as well, if you ask him to. Very touch starved so he attempts to seek you out every now and then.. not very soft though thanks to being very thin. He likes carrying you around! Hope you're not afraid of heights! 8/10

EYELESS JACK

I've mentioned a few times that hes very cold to the touch.. like ice cold. So unless you're into that, cuddling him might be a little.. hmm.. not that some blankets cant fix though! My headcanon is that hes on the shorter side, but kind of chubby buff. Soft! Switches between being little and big spoon. Hes not too keen in physical touch so you're going to have to wait for him to initiate.. I'm biased but I give him a solid 7/10

LAUGHING JACK

In contrast to the other Jack, Laughing Jack is actually pretty warm! It's like snuggling up into a heated blanket! His torso isnt very soft, but the puffs on his shoulders are nice and soft- as are his arms! And he purrs so that just makes it more relaxing! Switches between being big and little spoon, he doesnt seem to show much of a preference! Hes a total cuddle bug, if he could he would be snuggled up against you all day every day! 9/10, and hes very large! 8 feet tall is his default! Loves snaking his arms around you

MASKY

Adverse to touch, mostly in the beginning of your relationship (whether platonic or romantic, it doesnt matter), so its best to leave the initiation to him. Even then he rarely seeks you out. Unlike some of the other characters, outright asking him to cuddle you for comfort wont.. work.. the most you'll get is him rubbing circles into your back while he sits next to you. On the rare occasion that he does pull you against him, hes pretty warm. More so than Hoodie but not as hot as LJ. Firm grip but you can tell he doesn't know where to put his hands. Incredibly stiff against you, 5/10 hes doing his best :(

HOODIE

Tall and strong, and his hoodie is very soft when you convince him to let you wash it. If he takes his mask off his facial hair can get a little itchy, but it's rare that the mask is off. Loves being big spoon but sometimes craves being little spoon sometimes. Smells like... leaves and campfire smoke. Not bad, actually. Loves drumming his fingers on you 8/10

JEFF

Very lanky and tall, string bean build basically. Average body temperature. Does not like cuddling; probably sees most acts of physical affection as "yucky" regardless of if they're romantic or not. The closest you're going to get is the two of you huddling together for warmth or something within that ballpark. His skins a little rough, but that's too be expected. Very tense throughout the entire interaction, 2/10 he does not make a good cuddle buddy

[yeonmuse]

EN-Drama Heeseung’s sequel please (it’d be great to have smut and angst, HE or BE anything is good 😊)

- I love you

ᥫ᭡ f!reader x Lee Heeseung ── 𝒢enre. Smut. fluff, Angst non idol enha. not proofread. Wc 4.2k feats. ot7 [reqs are open] ᝰ.ᐟ 𝓁ibrary

authors notes. I hope this is to your liking, I’ve been lacking the motivation to write lately so everything I have written as of late I’ve felt love it’s been lackluster. I’ve started and deleted this at least 4 times so I’m hoping this final draft will be worth the read.

IN WHICH an old crush makes their way back into Heeseungs life and old feelings start to spark

🔖 @jwonistic @bubblytaetae @pkjay @planetmarlowe @dreeki @butterflywonz @lillotus17 @squiishymeow @river-demon-slayer @sol3chu @right-person-wrong-time @riribelle

“I dont wanna be in love with another even in another life”

Heeseung had been the quiet type, he’d found delight in sitting alone or spending his time in the serenity of his own peace. Though many found him boring due to his silence and nonchalant attitude he had fit in quite perfectly with his friends. Six guys that he had known so long it felt as if he’d known them his entire life, it had been hard to picture times when they hadn’t been there. As much as Heeseung had loved being alone, they made his life all the more enjoyable.

Heeseung was quite the simple guy, so while many of the girls in school had found him attractive they’d also found him extremely boring. Soon enough rumors had gone around the entire school that not only was he boring in a general sense, but that he’d also been completely vanilla when it came to sleeping with him. Though Heeseung was unsure how the rumors had ever started, considering he’d never even been with any of the girls at school, or any girl for that matter. He shrugged it off as he would everything else, people were going to talk, people were going to assume things about him regardless of whether or not it was confirmed or denied by him.

That exact same aura seemed to trail Heeseung from his high school days, to university and onto his fully adult life. He often found himself thinking back to the days when things were far more simple, When he and the others had no worries and no responsibility.

Heeseung was quickly snapped out of his thoughts as he heard someone tapping at the glass of the studio. Though it may not have been where Heeseung had exactly seen himself after high school, his new job had been a start. He’d luckily scored a job at a radio station in the city and had been working it for nearly a year.

“You’ve got a call in the main office, seemed urgent?”

“Who was it?”

“Don’t know they just said that they were looking for you and seemed like it was something important. I'll take over until you’re back.” Heeseungs brows crease together as Sohee pats at his back, sending him off to answer the phone. It wasn’t like his friends to call when they knew he was at work. Though when Heeseung had answered the phone he was surprised to hear, not the voice of his friends, but an old acquaintance he and the others hadn’t heard from since the day they’d left to go overseas.

That was exactly why Heeseung found himself sitting at a big round table waiting for the others to arrive, the last time all of them had gathered together being valentine's day of last year, but since then they’d all kept in touch but had been tackling their own endeavors.

Heeseung hadn’t exactly been sure what to feel about seeing one person in particular after so long. The girl he’d found himself falling for long ago, the first girl that had captured his heart, but she had also been the one that got away.

She had come to him at a time it seemed that no one bothered to understand him. There had even been times where he felt even those closest to him wouldn’t understand the works of his mind like he’d wanted. Though she was the one that stayed, the one that listened to him even when he had nothing to say, she’d waited. One of the first in his life that weren’t his friends to actually stay and try and get closer, not because of his looks but because she was interested to know the world of his mind.

Though back then when he had finally thought he’d been getting closer to her, everything had seemed to fall apart, others had grown feelings for her and complications had arisen that had made him give up on pursuing her. Looking back on it though he found it quite ridiculous that the seven of them had gotten themself into such a mess but sometimes it made him laugh.

He had now seemed to be the odd man out other than Jay and Jungwon who chose to focus on their careers rather than relationships. Leaving only him who hadn’t eventually known where he wanted to go with his love life, he never approached anyone and his calm and aloof demeanor made others too anxious to approach him themselves.

Soon enough the others had joined him, all of them catching up with one another and reminiscing on old memories with one another. Remembering the times they’d all shared with one another before they’d gone their separate ways. The conversation had been full of laughs and smiles, though the atmosphere slightly shifted the moment she’d walked in.

“Eunjin”

The moment she’d entered the building it was like some form of magnetic attraction, his eyes had found her in an instant. Taking in how much she had changed in the five years that none of them had seen her, he thought he’d gotten over it but the moment his eyes had set on her he felt his heart beat again for the first time.

It was like in the movies when time would stop and cherry blossoms would come raining down on the protagonists. She was always beautiful, though the amount of growth and maturity level she’d possessed now was inevitably visible. The only thing that he could say hadn’t changed about her was her height, he was sure if he’d stood from his seat he’d still tower over her just as he had all that time ago.

Upon hearing her name spill from his lips the others turned until their eyes found her sauntering over to their table. The reason for them all having gathered there in the first place.

“It’s been a while.” There it was that sweet voice that had once been like music to his ears, it had all the memories and emotions he once felt for her flooding back in.

The night carried on smoothly, it was as if the group had missed no time with one another, each of them reliving moments in their life and the others listening and reminiscing as if they themselves had been with one another through every step. Heeseung found himself a little far too immersed whenever she’d speak. He’d wanted to know everything, everything she’d come to like, hate or be interested in within the last five years. He found that that spark she had once lit within him long ago was returning upon having her say there before him.

Eventually the gathering had slowly come to a halt as everyone had either gone home, or had other inquiries that kept them from staying longer, which meant that left Heeseung and Eunjin alone. Since the restaurant had neared closing time the two had decided to continue their conversation on a stroll through the city.

“You look good seung.” The first words to leave her mouth upon the two of them being left alone. His heart had been thumping so hard in his chest he’d sworn hee could hear it beating in his ears.

“Still as pretty as ever, haven't grown much.” He teases, earning a laugh from her that made his heart shake in his chest.

“It really is nice to see you again, all of you. I found all of the notes you’d all left for me and the old candy wrappers from all of those chocolates you’d brought to class to share.” She laughs, brushing her hair behind her ear as she pulls out an old folded piece of paper. Heeseung couldn’t deny that he recognized it, after all he’d written it himself.

“Ah right, the letters. Guess we all embarrassed ourselves at that time?” He chuckles, forcing honestly to hold back a wince at the absolute cringe worthy memory.

“I thought it was sweet, though it was a little overwhelming. I just thought I’d ever expected all seven of you to confess to one another. It did make things a little confusing.”

“I guess we just all thought we were doing the right thing, not being selfish.”

“If you all had known my feelings would that have changed anything?”

“What do you..mean?”

“If you all had known how I’d felt about each of you then would it have made a difference? Would you have confessed then?” As she stops and turns to look at him, her eyes scanning him curiously, he himself didn’t know what to say, it prompted him to take a moment and think.

“I can’t speak for others, but if I’d known your feelings…if you’d liked anyone else then things would have remained the same. Though if the feelings you had were for me then..I’d have not given up as easily as I had.”

“What about now?” Heeseung had completely frozen in place, her words having caused his body to completely shut down right where he stood.

“What if I told you now how I felt then?” Her eyes seemed to scan him for any sort of signs that she should speak no further, but he remained locked in place.

“If I had told you I liked you then would things have been different now? If I'd told you the moment we ran into one another outside of the nurses office then where would we be now?”

Heeseungs thoughts had been circling his brain like the sun and moon orbiting earth. Hearing something from her he’d thought he’d gotten past years ago. Though now hearing those words spilled from her lips it was as if he’d been reliving the emotions he once felt all over again.

“So you’re saying..”

“That i’d have chosen you Heeseung, if things had been different and only you had confessed..I’d have accepted your confession.”

“What about the others?”

“We were friends, just like I’d told you all last time we spoke. I’d never want to compromise the friendship each of you had with one another or myself. After each of you had given a letter I thought it was best I rejected all of you.”

“So all this time it was me?” She nods in response, leaving Heeseung somewhat dumbfounded by the revelation. Of course it was something he had pictured countless times but he’d never seen it actually happening.

Closing the space between the two of them she steps closer to him, her boba eyes staring straight into him.

“Though it’s 5 years late, is it too late to say that I like you Lee Heeseung? That you were the one that got away.”

As if it had been natural, his fingers reflexively tangled within her hair, pushing the loose strands from her face behind her ear.

“Mm 5 years is a long time but I’m sure we could work it out.” He responds playfully, making her laugh as she leans in to wrap her arms around his waist.

From that day on Heeseung had found himself smiling more. She's encouraged him to be the best version of himself that he could be. She was the reason he’d gone into work with a smile on his face every day. How could he not wake up with a smile when he’d get to wake up and see her beautiful face on his phone every morning. It had taken five years for him to take her on a proper date but it had been completely worth the wait, their first date leading to months of then being together. In his eyes it was all perfect, there was no way he could have known the secrets she’d been keeping from him. The true reason that she had gathered them all together, the real reason she had decided to finally confess all the things she’d once felt.

“Heeseung I need to pack for my flight tonight, I won’t get anything done if you don’t let go.”

Heeseung had been holding onto her waist, his face buried into her back as his other hand rested upon her hip.

“You could always just stay home, I’m sure that work could wait another day, they can’t open an exhibit without the artist.” Heeseung responds, his voice muffled against the nape of her neck as he speaks. Only pulling his face away momentarily as he scoops her up and carries her over to the bed

“As much as i’d love to stay and lie around with you I can’t push off this event Seung, I’m running out of time.”

“You say that as if they could open the place without you.” He responds hovering over her, his arms caging her in and trapping her against the bed, forcing her to give in and succumb to his temptations.

“I know they can’t, but I’ve been waiting for this moment, Heeseung, I can’t push this off further than saturday.” Heeseung responds with soft hums as he begins to press soft loving kisses against her exposed skin. His hand slipped past her crop top until it rested against the bare skin of her stomach.

She was already quite familiar with this tactic of his by now, he’d always found ways to distract her whether that be with his sweet kisses or something far more dirty and pornographic like shoving his fingers so deep into her cunt that she was a complete mess, agreeing to everything he’d said.

“Well if you’re going to go, I’ll make sure I’ll leave some art of my own since I can’t join you.”

That was all that needed to be said before he had his lips on her skin once more and she had her fingers tangled in his hair. As he peppered slow, loving kisses along her neck and chest she couldn’t help but feel true peace in that moment of being with him.

Heeseung completely worshiped the ground she walked on.

To him she was completely intoxicating, her scent, her voice, her body, her touch; All of it was like his drug. Bringing her hand to his lips he placed loving kisses from her wrist up to her shoulder, a gesture that made the butterflies in her stomach go frantic . He felt the way her body relaxed and temperature had risen at the contact and it went without saying he was satisfied with the reaction. A reaction he had earned from her countless times yet would never tire of it.

Soft hums spilled from his lips, as he began to undress her while adorning her beautiful skin with kisses. It wasn't until she felt his fingertip trail down the soft skin of her stomach that the urge to be entangled with him had become more urgent. As Heeseungs fingers slipped beneath her pajama bottoms and past her underwear her body shivers. She’d no time to register his actions because before she’d known he had already been rubbing circles around her clit. Heeseung was absolutely content with this moment, having earned soft moans from her, watching as her hand clasped onto his wrist.

The way her back arched and her nails dug into his soft skin. The combination of her moans and her soft skin against his tongue was enough to drive him mad. He had barely even touched her yet her body had already been so responsive. He knew it would only be a handful of seconds until his name would spill from her lips in that sweet melodic tone like always. Seconds later he slipped in two fingers, taking the time to stretch her out and feel her out before he began to thrust them in and out slowly. Her desperate whining for him to move them faster only causes him to slow them down, he was completely blinded by his desire to hear his baby from her lips once more. The way his name fell from her lips always sounded so sweet.

“Seung, baby please, please my love.'' She’d choke out, her words barely audible but it was good enough for him because no matter how she’d said it the sound of his name from her lips was something he always loved to hear. Slipping in yet another finger he watched the way her expressions changed as he thrust them into her with feverish haste. He wanted desperately to read her thoughts and know the desires that swam around her pretty head when he had her like this, but it seemed that at the moment nothing was there. She was completely consumed by the mere thought of him and all the things that he was now doing to her.

“So beautiful, everything about you is so fucking beautiful, your smile, your eyes, your hair your voice.” His hand roamed over her body, leaving a fiery feeling over every place he’d touched. A touch that always left her longing for more no matter how many times she felt it.

He on the other hand always found delight in the way she squirmed and her body convulsed when he continued to stretch her out and pump his fingers inside of her. His eyes caught her gaze as he stopped to remove his fingers and bring them to his lips.

Her boba eyes that were usually so cute and sweet, now full of devilish desires that’d make angels weep. As sweet as she’d tasted there was nothing sweeter than the sound of her begging and pleading for him to give her more. So this time rather than shove his fingers deep into her clit he finds himself scooping her legs up and going between her thighs. His eyes gazed up at her beautiful face as he left kisses and hickeys on her inner thighs before sinking his teeth into them. His action earned a small yelp from her before and a tug on his dark locks as her fingers grasped at his hair. He was taking his time with her this morning, he needed all the time in the world to worship her before she’d leave, to treat her body like a goddess that only he could touch.

Heeseungs eyes remained glued to her seconds after his lips met her clit, the lewd sounds that spilled from her mouth following his actions made him desperate to hear more. His tongue slithered past her folds and as her head fell back against the bed he thought he’d go crazy at the sight. The blissed out look on her face and the way she’d pulled at his hair. Every now and then pushing his face deeper between her thighs it made his hunger for her all the more insatiable.

''So pretty like this, my beautiful work of art, so fucking beautiful.'' While his tongue abused her clit, he slipped in two fingers, stretching her out and shoving his tongue further than before. He gave her no time to respond before he was attacking the heat between her legs as if he himself was desperate to touch her just as she was for him to touch her.

Her fingers tugged at his dark locks as his tongue played with your sensitive cunt. It was a feeling she had felt time and time again with him but each time it seemed to be all the more pleasurable. The way his tongue and lips attacked her clit so vigorously made her thighs tremble. Having sensed her body's attempts to lock his head between her thighs, Heeseung immediately forces them back down against the bed. Her moans like music to his ears, simply hearing the way she whines and cries out for him and him only. As if he had been watching a film his eyes locked onto her, admiring her expressions as her face contorted at the pleasure. The moment he felt you clench around his tongue and fingers he became well aware that you were reaching your breaking point.

"Go ahead baby let it out.'' he hums against her, his face still buried between her thighs and as she squirms beneath him. Then finally she came on his tongue he couldn't help but stare up at you proudly.

“That’s one.” Heeseung had given her nooo time to breathe before he’d been switching her positions preparing her for a near endless session with him before she’d need to rest and pack for her long night that awaited.

Heeseung traced circles on her bare skin as she rested against his chest. Having fallen asleep after their earlier escapades, she’d needed all the rest she could get before she had to get up and pack to catch her flight.

Heeseung couldn’t help but stare at her sleeping frame proudly. The girl he’d thought he let get away had come back to him, and was now all his.

The sun had been peeking through the curtains and Heeseung sighs remembering that he’d have to go without seeing his beautiful girl for three days. She’d only gone last night but it had already felt as if she had been gone a lifetime.

Forcing himself out of bed he made his way into the bathroom, readying himself for the day ahead, that he knew would drag on since he would be returning home and see wouldn’t be there.

His day had gone on normal, as per usual he’d enter the studio, starting off with simple beats and tracks he’d thrown together for his artists. Everything seemingly in place until his phone vibrates in his pocket and a smile lights up his face as he sees her name appear on the front screen. A smile that had gone as quick as it had come as he answered and heard another woman’s voice on the other line. It was as if life had completely slowed and his heart had stopped beating in his chest, surely what he was hearing was a joke, some sort of twisted, sick joke or ploy to get him to fly there and hold her in his arms. No matter how much he tried to spin it, how hard he tried to deny what he’d heard, it all became far too real the moment he’d stepped off a plane and into a New York City hospital.

Heeseung had felt numb the moment he’d entered the place. He couldn’t register that anything that had happened beyond the phone call, had even been real. He sat on the opposite side of the glass watching as they covered his girlfriend's body.

“Lee Heeseung?” Heeseungs eyes met the nurses, no life behind them after having just realized he’d never get to hold his girlfriend in his arms again beyond this point.

“I know this may not be the best time, but she left this for you. I’ll leave you alone to open it.” After placing a box into his hands the nurse had left him alone.

It was a small box, inside was a letter and a few other things tied together with a fuzzy white string. Up until now Heeseung had completely held it together, that was until he pulled the letter from the box and could no longer stop the tears from spilling from his eyes as he read.

Heeseung,

If you’re reading this then, it means I finally was able to open my heart to you. I’m not as good with letters as you and the others but, I want you to know that I love you. I love all of you but especially you. I’ve loved you since then too, since the day I found you sat in the classroom with the others and you accepted the candy I'd given you even though you absolutely hated sweets then. When i’d gathered you all that day it wasn’t simply because I wanted to see you all that day, I’ve known for some time now that I didn’t have much time. Though I didn't know when I knew eventually I’d go and that you all would never hear from me again. I simply wanted to see you all one last time. Though I found myself being far happier than I could have ever imagined with you. My heart is now so full of you I could hardly know my own. I know that this is selfish of me, allowing myself to love you and you to love me when I know that the outcome can only cause you pain, but I wanted the chance to love you before I’d never get to love again. I’m sorry to leave you in such a way but I let my selfishness get the best of me. I hope that you will continue to live in Heeseung, to live without me even though you’ve waited so long to have me as yours.

Paper clipped behind the letter was a ticket. A ticket in which Heeseung had hesitated to use for days to put to use. He had become so numb that nothing mattered and eventually he had completely forgotten about it until he had been helping his mom clear things from her old art studio.

Though the date on the ticket was long gone and had expired, he’d finally put it to use. Putting his grief aside he found himself standing outside of the building where she had just opened her exhibit. As he stepped inside every one of his emotions had come crashing down as he’d found himself not only surrounded by art, but art that had symbolized the love the two of them had shared in just those four months alone, for every art piece had tied to a memory of hers