#dorkly bits

[sakurastarkey]

🧡 Sonic for hire Valentine’s week 💙

[chiefbasementcreator]

Prompt: Max, knowing that Chloe deserves to be broken, tricks Chloe into letting Warren into her room. She watches, fingering herself as Warren breaks Chloe on his cock, him degrading her and insulting her.

Getting Warren in the room was really easy, Max had just said she wanted to hang out, and that Warren would be there as well, and after soem grumbling from Chloe, she had agreed, as long as "the dweeb" didn't do anything stupid. Once Max got here with Warren, it was a few more minutes of greetings, shuffling around and sitting down, and then the put their plans in motion.

Max stayed close, at first, helping Warren pin Chloe down and pull her clothes off, but soon after that Max pulled back and sat on the edge of the bed, watchign intensely as Warren was hungrily making out with Chloe. As soon as it had turned to sex, the shy, dorkly teen boy had changed drastically, and now Chleo was the one protestign (albeit not as much as when they had started) while Warren was fuckign her. Considering their relative sives, Chloe probably could have flipped them around, kicked him off her, punched or bit him, but her resistance had disappeared incredibly quickly as well, and now she was only weakly grunting in protest.

"Is that all you can do?" Warren spat. "I'm raping you in front of your girlfriend, and you're moaning like a whore." he insulted Chloe, while Max only moaned, the photograph's figners furiously moving in and out of her pussy, watching the show in front of her. "Are you really hatign this?" He continued. "Or are you just pretending so Max doesn't see how much a of a cock-addicted 'lesbian' you are?"

And he kept going. Each word, each insult, punctuated by another thrust, by another movement, by slamming his hips against hers, by pushing his cock deep inside Chloe, by making her bulge, by reaching her cervix and battering it, by reshaping her cunt for his cock, while Chloe's protests were gone, replaced only by whimpers and moans of pleasure as Warren broke her, as her haughty attitude and bitchy self disappeared, replaced only by how good he was makign her feel with his cock, by how many times she climaxed from his wonderful fucking, all the while Max watched, turned on like never before at seeing Warren break her friend into a cockslut.

[fridakahloblvd]

they're doing a dropout but without the frequent daily uploads and with much less content. it's worth it for me to pay for dropout, it's absolutely not worth it to pay for watchertv WHEN I WAS ALREADY SUPPORTING THEM ON PATREON

i’ve been thinking about it for a bit longer, and i’ll say this:

College Humor had 20 years of content in their backlog. and when they premiered Dropout, they also had Drawfee and Dorkly and some Rooster Teeth shows ontop of all the new content.

College Humor also stretched out the introduction of Dropout over a year and a half. 2018-19 videos all had Dropout promos at the end.

They also didn’t have a patreon.

I still disagree with the majority of the fandom on this, but it’s crazy to me that Watcher premiered it in this way. a month is not enough time, they should’ve stretched it out over the rest of the year or something. they really just surprised everyone with this, instead of letting us get acclimated.

(also why do they not have an app??? dropout had one almost instantly if i remember correctly. it wasn’t great, but at least we had the option to truly watch on different devices.

[cartoon-buffoon]

Late night, can't sleep, am bored. I'm gonna list off YouTubers that I watched growing up and some words on them.

Newscapepro—I can do a full rant on this channel/Corey alone and I'm devastated he privated or possibly DELETED his Minecraft roleplay series. I loved all of it, undertale, BATIM, FNAF, all his MC roleplays and minigame videos. The newscape team was a key part of my childhood and I still follow Unicomics, Ashlie9596, Nick, and Jon now that they are doing their own things (the first 3 still play together which is super nice). I'll forever miss those old videos (especially the FNAF ones, I miss bittybab and Uni as lolbit/Funtime Foxy).

Popularmmos—Pat & Jen were like parents to me and seeing them break up was devastating. I laughed to their videos all the time and they always cheered me up, so glad Jen is doing well for herself rn and although Pat went off the deep end for a bit he seems like he's doing okay although I'd love for him to return even if it doesn't look nor sound like Jen will. Him alone would make me happy.

VanossGaming/The Banana Bus Squad—Yes, I was an edgy little fuck, still am, shoot me. Anyways, yeah no all these guys were great (expect for Pablo and the bunny), they made me laugh just as much as Popularmmos yet their videos were obviously a lot more adult oriented. Thanks to them I developed a similar sense of humor to the stupid shit they did/said and my favorite crew members gotta be Marcel and Wildcat to this day, I do love Moo and Terroriser though yet both their jokes/bits were always hit or miss yet when they hit THEY HIT!

H2ODelirious—Adding him separate from the Vanoss crew as he was the only one who made content by themselves without the Vanoss crew that entertained me. If we're gonna be technical delirious is my absolute favorite crew member yet by himself is where he shined. His and Toonz' friendship is also by far one of like the most wholesome things ever and even when they'd yell at each other their camaraderie was unmatched and the chemistry made delirious' videos a joy to watch with Toonz in them. As I said before delirious also by himself is where he shined because he's a total goofball and sometimes stupid while also being incredibly witty and funny. His GTA character model of a clown perfectly represents him because he juggles the stupid and clever perfectly, still watch him to this day (proud member of the delirious army)

Dorkly—As stated before I was an edgy fuck and them video game parodies were as edgy as ever back then. Sonic for hire particularly was hilarious to me and I still characterize a lot of Sonic characters but their for hire counterparts and the phrase "Fryin' and Buyin'!" Lives in my head rent free. Not much to say

Tony Crynight—Fnaf animation man.... The FNAF animation in question being the one that was a love triangle between Foxy, Mangle, and chica where chica maims mangle. Honestly I do not regret watching those videos at all as they are genuinely better than half the movies I've seen in my life.

Balena Productions—This channel is on the list because he made mother fuckin' SONIC ZOMBIES! FUCKING SONIC ZOMBIES! Ong, Knuckles & Espio are still better gay representation than most of the shit they be putting in TV and movies. I absolutely loved the Sonic Zombies series when I was young and watching it now some of the jokes still do hit despite them being from a bygone era.

Jacksepticeye—This was his super high energetic era and I remember binge watching his happy wheel videos 3 times over, the entire series. Safe to safe I absolutely loved Jack and although I stopped watching him he holds a place in my heart as one of my favorite feel good YouTubers who were upbeat and wanted to bring joy for the sake of joy. And of course the "*WAPOOSH!* TOP OF THE MORNIN' TOO YA LADDIES!" Is legendary for a memorable intro.

Markiplier—wasn't a giant fan of Mark yet I did undeniably watch him growing up and binge a lot of his videos. Him being the king of five nights of Freddy's is obviously unforgettable and I also watched him during his "energetic era" where his montone and dull start of the videos would devolve into him getting overly into the game he was playing. So cool to see what he's done since then and now he's directing a movie, it's awesome.

FusionZGamer—was and still is the goat of FNAF content. Consistent uploads and is still getting scared for the sake of our entertainment. Not exactly as entertaining as Jack or Mark and he's obviously a more of a niche YouTuber but bro has been doing what he's been doing for awhile and found his audience. Kinda moved away from him for a bit yet I still go back and watch some of his older videos or binge his newer stuff as he hasn't changed a whole lot, he still plays horror games and cracks jokes whilst not actually getting in the way of gameplay, he knows when to be quiet and I appreciate that. A lot of YouTubers don't know when to shut up and appreciate a game and it's tension/moments yet he usually does and can wait like 3 seconds speak his thoughts or make a joke. Will say tho in his recent videos he do be getting a bit more wild yet I appreciate it as he started off not very family friendly yet moved more towards not cussing yet he's been getting a lot more loose with it. Whatever he wants to do he can do it though, just saying it seems like he's comfortable doing more stuff now.

That's all I can think of, this actually tired me out & goodnight?

[unblinded-by-nostalgia-blog]

The Story

The story is about three personified game consoles trying to graduate from highschool.

On paper, a comedy of the SEGA consoles and games is actually a really good idea, since many people on YouTube have successful series based on classic game tropes.

But does this anime do it well? Eh... Kind of...

Some of the jokes are funny, especially the ones about retro games. But the problem is that the classic anime jokes fall flat and some of them come out as too mean spirited, especially with the treatment SEGA Saturn gets! This isn't as bad as the Squidward torture porns, but it still on those lines.

And the Sega Saturn torture just gets really predictable. They do it to DreamCast in one episode, but it ruins another joke that came before it and it just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

The Characters

The characters of the consoles are unfortunately just moe trash! Mega Drive is the smart one, DreamCast is the cute and bubbly one and SEGA Saturn is post-movie Squidward. They should have had the consoles personalities reflect the age that they came from. Such as Mega Drive being the cool gal, Saturn being the jealous one who is often forgotten and DreamCast feel like a failure to reflect on the failure the DreamCast was to the point SEGA stopped making consoles! Does that sound like a more interesting cast than moe garbage?

None of them grow as characters and other than them being SEGA consoles, they are REALLY forgettable!

The 8-bit rabbit is a really unlikeable character, which is a shame because he is voiced by Yuji Naka!

On many Websites, other consoles are mentioned and even have voice actors listed. Not only don't they EVER speak once during the anime, nearly half of the ones listed aren't even in the anime! Sorry Tera-Drive fans! (What the hell is a Tera-drive fan?)

The Animation/Special Effects

You think at first the cheap looking models are a stylistic choice, you soon realise that the animation is actually lazy. They frequently recycle footage and in one episode during the contest, the other consoles are just cheap 2D sprites that look like they have been cut out from a pop-up book! So SEGA Master System and Game Gear fans, be ready to be pissed off!

The animation doesn't even try to make the characters fit in with the games they're in! They stand out like sore thumbs and it just takes you out of the emersion.

Final Thought

As both an anime and retro-game fan, I should have loved this anime. But it feels like the creators in this didn't even try to make it good and decided to do something decent for the ending! Which isn't even worth getting to.

It's no wonder nobody remembers this anime, heck, I didn't know about its existence till today, and I watched it all on one day because the episodes are so short!

Even if you do love the moe genre, there are so many better ones out there that have more care and time put into them. And for retro-gaming fans, the game show Go 8-bit is far more entertaining and Dorkly's animation skits are more funnier than this anime.

Just skip this anime. It's not worth sitting through, even when the episodes are only around 10 minutes long!

The Story 2/5 The Characters 1/5 The Animation/Special Effects 0.5/5

Overall 1/5

[a-wild-torterra]

I think there’s a dorkly bit where spider man does it as a side hustle and jjj subscribes to it

[resisteverything]

Another Dorkly bit I hate. Bowser goes to the gun factory in his liar and shoots the guy who makes the guns. The guy screams and asks why. I immediately get that the joke is that bullet bills are awful compared to real bullets. But the bit keeps going on and never delivers the punchline, and then dramatically overexplains the punchline after overexplaining the setup. This entire bit is built on literally a single joke and instead of finding a new thing they just stretch it infinitely long to make a bit.

Here’s my take on this bit:

*Brief scene of a green turtle making a bullet bill*

Bowser: Jerry?

Jerry: Yes-

*gunshot*

Jerry: Aaaggggghhh! What did I do wrong? Ive done everything you asked! Please, I can fix this!

Bowser: Jerry?

Jerry: (shaky voice) Yes, Lord bowser?

Bowser: Why do our bullets move so slowly?

Jerry: What?-

*gunshot. Jerry screams in agony again*

Bowser: What do you mean what? Look at this simple pistol and look at what you made.

Jerry: But you were happy with them, why didn’t you say anything until now?

Bowser: Uhhh…

*gunshot. Jerry screams*

Bowser: Just get it done!

Jerry: Right away, Lord Bowser

*He weakly attempts to get up and continue his work*

*smash cut to a bullet bill inside a tube*

Bill: Oh, this is gonna be so good, let me at ‘em!-

*He bursts into flames and screams in agony as the world speeds past him in a blur*

[doom-nerdo-666]

Something i may or may not've mentioned in that "Doom fanbase analysis" post is whether or not some fans want Doom to be more popular and that correlating with how they take the fanbase's history/activities into account.

Specially in a "post Funko Pop/TBBT nerd" era.

Because it's important that people learn about certain things and there's also a point where not every piece of media needs to reach Star Wars/Pokemon levels of success or fame.

It may suck that DE lost against TLOU2 at the VGA's 2020 but knowing how people hate game journos and certain events, you have to question if it was even worth it.

As if you're asking for the approval from people who rate that one baby Wii game above God Hand.

Like how people already acknowledge that the film industry has its own corruptions, yet shout "animation is cinema" because they want to see animation being treated seriously at the Oscars (And it's always mainstream/corporate level animation, not something more unique or artistic for some reason).

Maybe it has to do with people looking into parodies or content from the likes of Dorkly or Robot Chicken and thinking "they need to do something about a thing i like" for some weird reason, when they could've looked into more genuine fan projects.

Doom was always popular but then there's also how people view it differently and all that mess i talked about.

Because there's also the clash of people that almost want Doom to be a "bigger brand" and that contrasting to people whose activities also make it seem like a "could've been public domain/free" entity.

Between Sakurai having a small talk about Doomguy in a Smash direct and Trent Reznor having associations with Quake due to "mutual fandom" with id, it can be neat seeing someone famous liking something even it they don't have to also care about the Cacowards or the latest source port update.

But it won't change the fact that certain fanbase activities may matter more than if Chris Pratt talks about how he spent years slaying Marauders in the original Doom while getting a role to play Doomguy in a Doom movie.

(Yes current/meme example, i know)

Another thing is what more popular franchises do to remind you of their mainstream status.

Like Call of Duty trying to be Fortnite and adding The Boys or Nikki Minaj, since it's a series that was always for mass audiences.

There are dedicated COD fans and even those that care about specific games or modding but Activision doesn't even consider them at all.

Why? Because it's a series that they see it as existing for the same of yearly releases and money.

ZeniMax/Bethesda occasionally get greedy when using Doom but even if you take away the wad/mod scene, you still get the idea of a dedicated fan image that would get mad at certain things.

Maybe that's why Mick Gordon said "Doom fans aren't like Disney fans, you piss them off and they'll burn down your house" or something.

And a bit of a "cursed" thought: What if Epic Rap Battles of History does like a "Doomguy vs Isabelle" video?

Would people care if they add specific Doom references as opposed to basic stuff like "rip and tear" and Daisy?

Or would they just be fine simply seeing Doom in the spotlight, even in that manner?

[cetrouz]

ok im gonna start commenting about good omens season 2 in here so beware of spoilers, its going to be slow since i cant binge this season ok cool lets go

episode 1

i love how the gay lever was cranked up to the max on these first 20 minutes of the season im laughing at the fallen angel with amnesia who dorkly things aziraphale is funny and suddenly goes "i love you" and there's a lot of gay stuff being hinted, its hilarious and stupid

as soon i saw those two ladies talking i had a feeling a romance was going to start, it became much more obvious when the other questioned if she had a partner. they aren't even trying to hide the gayness.

and as soon as crowley discovers about aziraphale wanting to take care of fallen archangel gabriel he starts burning with anger. i wouldn't doubt there is a bit of jealousy there too.

[hellraiserjamie]

The thing that sticks out to me when it comes to Ian's involvement with Prime is that he told us his role was to be a lore consultant for the show and that was it, yet literally all of the established lore in the show is comically off mark in almost all cases EXCEPT for the Knockoff Dorkly 8-bit Flashbacks which all have the Ian Flynn signature "Look, References!!!!" that we all know well thanks to IDW and especially Frontiers... which is really weird right??

It's impossible to know whether or not he tried to pitch the other lore corrections to the writing team and was just ignored by them, but the fact that the Memberberry-esq Flash Backs (one of which literally just being a near one-to-one copy of the Tails Origin animation Flynn said he directed) are the only thing that are even remotely 'lore accurate' makes me believe that they might have been the extent of his consultation.

I had HEAVY doubts about the show being canon especially after Ian said we just needed to "wait and see", but Season 3 just made me question if his consultation actually did anything useful. You'd think getting "The Sonic Lore Guy" to be your lore consultant would be perfect... but then we all learned the hard way how little that amounted to. :/

Sonic Prime Season 3: Final episodes, final thoughts

Well, here we are. The final seven episodes of Sonic Prime are out on Netflix, concluding the story of Sonic's adventures in the Shatterverse. I've previously shared my thoughts on the first and second seasons, which I was pretty mixed on, but there were still glimmers of hope. The fluid animation, Shadow being fun in all his appearances, Nine being fairly interesting as a jaded alternate version of Tails, etc. There was enough to make me believe that after some highs and lows there was still the possibility that this show could end on a high note - or at least a decent note.

This did not happen.

Sonic Prime's final season sucks. The ending sucks, and the road to get there sucks. It's left me wondering what the point of all this even was. There are still moments I like that I'll try to highlight, and the animators and voice cast are still clearly giving it their all, but these efforts sadly don't outweigh the overwhelming mediocrity of the story. I would barely even recommend other Sonic fans who are on the fence go out of their way to finish it. I won't begrudge people who got more out of this show than I did, but I think overall I just really, really dislike Sonic Prime.

...The problem, of course, is that all other discussion of the show has been overshadowed by needlessly hostile arguments over its place in Sonic's canon. So we've gotta talk about that, too.

(This post will contain full spoilers for Sonic Prime.)

The show's out of ideas but they've gotta stretch that shit out to hit the 23 episode mark somehow

Season 2 ended with the big twist that Nine decided to betray Sonic and Shadow, taking the Paradox Prism for himself so that he could go turn the empty world of the Grim into his own little paradise, since he doesn't believe he'll fit anywhere else. Nine has made himself the true big bad of the show.

The main impact this has is that now, instead of fighting endless identical Eggforcer bots and members of the Chaos Council over and over, the good guys and the Chaos Council have to fight endless Chaos Sonic-style robots sent by Nine while he goes "grrrrr I need Sonic's energy to stabilize the Paradox Prism." This continues for six whole episodes until the series finale, when the show decides it's time for Sonic and Nine to quickly make amends, fix everything, and send Sonic and Shadow home.

That's pretty much the whole season.

I cannot emphasize enough just how much of this final season is just fight after fight after fight against Nine's bots, and how fucking boring that gets. The season feels like one long, drawn out final battle that did not need to be nearly this long, but Nine had his big heel turn 2/3 of the way through the show and we've gotta fill up the rest of the time somehow. The novelty of the bots being based off of Sonic's friends (including the Chocobo-sized Birdie from the jungle world) really wears off quickly when they're just used as generic, silent mooks that the good guys have to fight by the dozen like it's the climax of an MCU movie. The first episode of the season with Sonic and Shadow fighting the new bots is pretty good, especially because Sonic and Shadow's dynamic is one of the few redeeming aspects of this show's writing, but after that it just gets boring. Three full episodes in a row are spent showing all the characters fighting robots in an empty wasteland while Nine scowls next to a big beam of energy. I found myself missing the in-your-face attitude of Chaos Sonic so much. He truly was one of the best parts of this show.

While the cast is busy fighting all these robots for what feels like an eternity, various things of varying levels of interest happen. There's a halfhearted attempt to have some kind of rivalry between Shadow and the main Grim Sonic throughout the final battle, but it completely falls flat because Grim Sonic has no personality whatsoever. It's like Shadow beefing with an above-average Egg Pawn. (Actually, no, that would be funny.) There's also a death fakeout with the two other versions of Tails, where they make a makeshift bomb and throw it a little too close to themselves on the battlefield and seem to get vaporized. If they had actually died there they would have had the funniest, most pointless deaths in the entire franchise.

I also realized at one point that they were trying to do the Avengers girl power fight thing with the three versions of Amy fighting a bunch of Rouge bots. This was very funny to me. Actually, so much of this is just following the tired MCU formula to the letter. Fighting over a macguffin, two armies just kind of running at each other and clashing in a big empty field, constant one-liner quips instead of actual jokes, the need to take out key targets to make the whole enemy army disappear, a villain who has a point but has to randomly hurt people so that there's an excuse for the heroes to fight him. When combined with how shit the multiverse stuff is, this whole show really is just Man of Action tackling some of the most played out storytelling tropes in modern pop culture in the most bland way possible. What a bunch of hacks.

By far, the one truly fun thing that happens in this protracted final battle is when a giant robot based on Big appears. It doesn't have arms or legs, but it can swing itself around to use its tail like a giant mace, and it can also shoot Froggy-shaped missiles out of its mouth. I wish the rest of the show was even half as fun as this. Again, Sonic Prime has just enough good moments to make you mad that the rest of the show isn't better.

The thing is, all this repetitive (but well-animated) action and the thin excuse plot would be totally serviceable if I just gave a shit about the characters involved. But I don't. I don't care what happens to the pirate version of Amy who goes "arrr." I don't care about what happens to Hipster Eggman. And unfortunately, by the end, I didn't really care about Nine, either.

Nine as a villain

It's hard to criticize the story here without it coming off as a broad condemnation of the tropes at play. The thing is, I like many stories that try to do similar things. I love clashes between heroes and villains that are really just fantastical exaggerations of more personal conflicts. I love stories where a tragic, sympathetic villain lashes out at the world as an expression of the pain they feel, and a compassionate hero just has to get through to them. I eat that shit right up. Undertale is my favorite game ever made. Shit, I love other Sonic stories that do these exact things. And Sonic having to fight an alternate timeline version of Tails also has so much potential for drama!

So I can very easily imagine a version of the show where all this works for me. That just isn't the version we got.

Like I said last time, Nine's motivation is just too sympathetic and understandable for his sudden turn to supervillainy to make any sense. He just wanted to start over somewhere where he can be happy after a childhood filled with bullying and loneliness. Nine betraying Sonic and stealing the Paradox Prism to go make his own world? That tracks! Especially since we don't even know if Nine will still exist if Sonic goes through with his plan to restore his original world! But trying to kill everyone in New Yolk City by tilting the world 90 degrees, intentionally targeting the civilian population because it'll get to Sonic? Nope! Sorry, that's a bridge too far. I don't buy it. He's jaded and antisocial, but he doesn't strike me as cruel. Writing in an excuse about him needing Sonic's energy to fix the Prism does not make this make more sense.

This was really just one of those conflicts where it felt like everyone should stop and talk it out. Instead we got six episodes of fighting before one of Sonic's many, MANY attempts at reasoning with Nine throughout the season finally works. This isn't me pulling some Cinema Sins bullshit where I complain about characters in a work of fiction not always behaving rationally - the real problem is that it's just so damn repetitive waiting for this conflict to resolve. This could have been wrapped up in two or three episodes and instead it takes seven.

A brief aside about that weird Dorkly-ass Sonic Advance 3 flashback scene hacked together with mismatched sprites where Gemerl happens to be present, presumably just because he's a part of the sprite for the Sunset Hill boss, and seeing him briefly makes me remember the extended cast from the games and how much I wish they had just made a cartoon about them instead of a bunch of stock characters wearing the skin of Sonic's friends, but then Gemerl just explodes with the boss machine at the end while Eggman is shown to get away so I guess Gemerl just dies in this flashback

Yeah that sure happened huh

The ending

Despite having a final battle that felt like an eternity, Sonic Prime is a show that just kind of... ends. And that ending is weird and haphazard.

The understanding I had was that Sonic's normal world had "shattered" when the Paradox Prism was destroyed, and from those remnants these new worlds were created. This is why they use terms like "Shatterverse" and "Shatterspaces" and why there's shattered glass/crystal/whatever imagery everywhere. This is a broken, fragmented version of the real universe. Right? Right?? Isn't that the entire premise of the show? And therefore, if the universe has been shattered, then fixing it means putting all the shattered pieces back together. Which I would assume means that the Shatterspaces cease to exist.

So, in the ending... Sonic's world seems to just exist as another Shatterspace. Restoring the Paradox Prism doesn't seem to combine the worlds or anything, it just fixes the broken portal to Sonic's world that exists alongside all the others. So... what exactly was the point of all the shattered glass symbolism?

Things only get more confusing as the ending progresses. Shadow brings Sonic through the portal before the draining of Sonic's whatever energy makes him disappear, and they're transported back in time to right before Sonic broke the Paradox Prism. Only Sonic seems to remember what happened (Shadow might remember, but he doesn't say anything), and with the Paradox Prism never shattered, it's unclear if the Shatterspaces exist now.

I'm not particularly hung up on the time loop ending. It's very much in line with all sorts of classic morality tales like A Christmas Carol or It's a Wonderful Life, where the flawed protagonist goes through some kind of magical experience and then returns home with a new appreciation for the people in their life. It's always been pretty obvious that was the type of story they were telling. I'm more bothered by the fact that there's no time whatsoever spent on whether or not the other worlds and the characters in them continue to exist. Sonic seems to act like the worlds will go on without him before he leaves, but it's not like we get an ending scene that shows how the other worlds are doing, so they really truly might as well not exist anymore. Sonic just wraps up the adventure from the first episode when he gets home, and before he can explain what happened from his perspective he's interrupted by a mysterious energy wave from off-screen and it's off to the next adventure.

(Despite this odd cliffhanger ending, the show is extremely over and not coming back. I have to imagine this is just a "the adventures never end" type ending and not a hint that more shit is going on with the Paradox Prism.)

This ending is also a terrible resolution to Nine's whole arc, despite him being the driving force of so much of the show. The way I see it, there are are three possible fates for him:

The Shatterspaces continue existing, and things go as Sonic expects them to go. Nine is allowed to make the Grim into his own little utopia, and everyone else leaves him alone instead of punishing him for all the trouble he caused. Instead of finding love and acceptance so he can heal from a lifetime of bullying and loneliness, Nine is allowed to run away, isolating himself from every other living being in the multiverse, and live alone as the god of an empty world with only his own creations as company. Sonic was his only friend, and he's gone forever now.

The Shatterspaces continue existing, but because of the time travel ending, most of the events of the show never happened. Sonic never helped defeat the Chaos Council, so they still control New Yolk City. Nine is back to living in this dystopian city with no friends. He never met Sonic.

The Shatterspaces have been erased. After fighting so hard for his right to exist as his own person and not just a "wrong" version of Tails, when the timeline is altered, he just... stops existing. Along with almost every other character in the show.

Do I even need to explain why these are all unsatisfying?

Misc. thoughts

I skimmed over this, but a lot of the final season is just spent seeing Sonic's friends bicker with the Chaos Council and then Sonic has to beg them to get along to save the universe. It gets old.

We also never really got an explanation for why the Chaos Council exists. They can't have come from other Shatterspaces because there ARE no other Shatterspaces. If the original Eggman was just split into five guys or time travel was involved or whatever, it never comes up. I can live with this, but it seems like an odd omission for a children's show that's constantly bogged down in technobabble explaining the mechanics of its extremely small and finite multiverse.

I have no idea where Shadow was for the first part of the final battle. I figured Nine must have captured him off-screen after Sonic first left the Grim, but Shadow was just... hanging around until his cue in the script, I guess?

Sonic saying "help a brother up" to Shadow was funny

Hipster Eggman pointing to one of the few nameless extras who tagged along for the final battle and going "Who are you? Seriously, does anyone know who this is?" was the only funny thing he did in the entire show

Mangy Tails randomly pressing buttons on the Chaos Council's generator like a curious animal and managing to improve its output was cute

Rusty Rose randomly realizes that the Birdie in her chest actually isn't being used as a power source, and that the Chaos Council was just... using that to manipulate her, somehow? I don't really know how that works but whatever

The Sonic Advance 3 flashback uses the actual boss music from the game, but they can't use the real Sunset Hill theme because they didn't wanna pay Masato Nakamura for using the Green Hill motif, I guess

To my fellow fans of bad games: did you know that Man of Action wrote the story for the bizarre Square Enix game The Quiet Man? The one where the lengthy FMV cutscenes play out with muffled audio and no subtitles because the protagonist is deaf, so you can't tell what's going on? And you had to do a New Game+ playthrough to actually hear the audio and understand what's going on? The worst-reviewed game of 2018? That one? I only learned that recently and it blew me away

So yeah, that's the end of the show. I didn't like it, and I don't think I liked the show much as a whole. I am far from alone in this sentiment, but the reasons why people dislike the show... those vary a bit.

The canon conundrum

More than anything else, it seems like most other discourse surrounding this show has been consumed by one talking point:

How can this be canon? Why is it canon?

I want to state very clearly up front that I, too, am a person who's noticed and complained about the inconsistencies with the games in Sonic Prime. Some of the characters are a bit off - or, you know, completely unrecognizable when discussing the writing of some of the AU counterparts. I think it's lame to say Sonic and friends all live in Green Hill and act like that's the entirety of their world. That sort of thing. But if Sega says it's canon to everything else? Sure. Fine. There's weirder shit in the canon.

Really, most of this can be explained away pretty easily. The show was written at a time when Sega was still figuring shit out and there were looser restrictions. Why does Sonic act a little more immature? Probably just because Prime is aiming for a slightly younger audience than the games or the IDW comics. (And also it's, y'know, written by Man of Action, who people have accused of only knowing how to write one kind of protagonist for years.) Why do Sonic and friends live in Green Hill? Because that's the most recognizable location from the games, and the game world doesn't get enough screentime to justify modeling multiple different environments, so they just focus on Green Hill. Why is this considered canon to the games? Because this is the first Sonic cartoon that outright references events from the games as things that have happened to Sonic in the past.

But announcing early on that Prime would be canon certainly let fans' imaginations wander. It was one of the few things we knew about the show before it premiered. People wondered if characters from the games and comics who had never made any appearances in Sonic cartoons might get their time in the spotlight. We wondered if it would tie into the lore or any existing storylines in interesting ways, like the IDW comics do. But above all else, we hoped that its canon status would mean that Sonic Prime would finally be the Sonic cartoon that was faithful to the source material with no catches. We've literally never seen the actual world of the games brought to life in a TV show. Sonic X came the closest, but that still took its liberties. And so hype built for this Canon Sonic Cartoon.

And then it actually came out, and after a brief intro in Green Hill based loosely on the games, it spent most of its running time focusing on things like "what if there was a version of Eggman who was a bratty teen who just wanted to play video games?" The disappointment among fans is understandable. I am disappointed. Look at how much I've bitched about this aggressively mid cartoon.

Some fans, however, came up with an elaborate theory about the series. You see, when asked about the show's place in the game timeline during a live Q&A, Ian Flynn (who only served as a consultant on Sonic Prime and did not write any of it) said this:

"I cannot answer because I know the answer, and you haven't finished watching the show yet."

A couple days later, when answering another question about Prime's place in the timeline and also about a writing discrepancy, he said this:

"As to where it fits on the timeline, I can't speak to it because that would spoil the show to a degree. So you're just gonna have to wait 'til it's done. Towards the other point, I don't know how much I can say, so it's probably better that I not comment. That's a really dissatisfying answer, I know, I'm sorry, but my hands are kinda tied on that one."

I feel the need to quote Ian directly here, because these very basic statements about how he can't talk about behind the scenes shit or anything from unreleased episodes was GREATLY misinterpreted by the fandom. People clung onto Ian's claim that we had to keep watching like a life preserver. Some took it as Ian saying that the ending would explain everything. Finally, we'd have a definitive answer for every little discrepancy and the apparent differences in worldbuilding. An explanation for why Sega and the producers repeatedly insist this show HAS to be canon.

And to these fans, the only explanation that made any sense... would be if the ending of Sonic Prime pulled a Flashpoint.

As this theory explained, the Sonic we were following in Sonic Prime wasn't the Sonic we know from the games and the IDW comics, and likewise the world he comes from isn't really the game world. This is a different Sonic who fights a different Eggman in a world that's literally just Green Hill. It was a hint that something was off all along! But in the end of the series, this Sonic would sacrifice himself to merge all of the Shatter Spaces together and form a brand new world, and that would be the more visually diverse world of the games and comics. According to this theory, Sonic Prime was canon because it was a new origin story for the entire franchise.

I want you to really stop and think about how asinine of an origin story this would be. Really drink this in. The idea that there was another, slightly different version of Sonic who went on a kinda shitty multiverse adventure and then sacrificed himself to create the real Sonic that we've known since 1991. People convinced themselves this made more sense than the simple explanation that a different team of writers got some stuff wrong and Sega didn't make them change it. Interviews where producers talked about drawing on Sonic's "mythology" (ie: they reference the games in the show) were taken very literally - they must be saying that Prime's story is mythological in nature, and that this show would be integral to the games' mythology. Why bother making a show that's canon if it's not going to be crucial to that canon, after all?

The final episodes dropped, and none of this happened. Because of course it didn't. It was all Sherlock fandom-level copium. But fans were left confused by the lack of a grand reveal of where Sonic Prime fits in the timeline, believing they had been promised this, and they turned to Ian for an explanation. Ian's answer:

It doesn't matter, b/c Prime wipes itself out. It's sometime after Advance 3*, but otherwise, it's moot. I didn't want to sour anyone's expectations or investment by spoiling how Prime resolves, that's all. If you enjoyed it, awesome. Savor it. If you didn't, then you can safely ignore it. Simple as that.

* About a trillion people have um, actually'd Ian to point out Orbot and Cubot briefly appear in the show, but if we're really being pedantic here we don't actually know how long before Colors Eggman built Orbot and Cubot, so it wouldn't be fully accurate to say a story featuring Orbot and Cubot couldn't be set before Colors. Either way, a story set anywhere around Colors, or at any point later than that, could still be described as "sometime after Advance 3." Advance 3 is just the most recent game that has specific in-game events referenced in the show. Yes I can feel myself morphing into the nerd emoji before your very eyes

Anyway, this is the latest reason Ian is getting death threats on Twitter. This time it's over a show he barely even had any input on!

I'll cut to the chase. It is truly wild to me that people are getting this heated over canonical inconsistencies in a series as historically inconsistent as Sonic, to the point that they think threatening Ian is justified. The aesthetics of the entire world Sonic inhabits change every other game. Sonic Chronicles may no longer be canon due to the Penders lawsuits, but it was canon at one point, and it took huge liberties with Sonic's world, moving Green Hill off of South Island and reinterpreting Station Square as a tiny outpost in a snowy alpine forest region. Characters' personalities change from writer to writer and based on what Sega wants at the time, with some being WILDLY different across different games. One game Sonic will be stoic and cool, the next he thinks "Baldy McNosehair" is the funniest thing ever. Sega's STILL trying to figure out what Amy's personality is supposed to be. We still don't have the explanation for how the two seemingly contradictory backstories for Blaze can fit together. There have been multiple huge, sweeping retcons, and retcons to those retcons. Sonic Forces claims that Classic Sonic is from an entirely different universe than Modern Sonic, and the plot only makes any sense if that's true - otherwise, Modern Sonic would have already known Eggman was going to beat him and take over the world when he did, because his younger self had already lived through that war. All of that makes no sense in the newly reunified timeline, but Forces is very much still canon.

For fuck's sake, we're talking about the series where Eggman blew up half the moon and then it looked completely normal in every other game after, explained away as "the moon just rotated so we can't see the destroyed side from Earth." This has never, ever, ever been a franchise where everything lines up perfectly with no issues. It's not that serious.

The real core problem with Prime isn't that things don't line up 100% with our current understanding of canon, or that Sonic's characterization means this can't be the real Sonic, or anything like that. The problem, as I've been saying this whole time, is that the story is bad. None of these discrepancies would truly matter if the story was better. They'd just be nitpicks. The fact that Sonic and friends live in Green Hill would be the farthest thing from my mind if the drama was more engaging, if the villains were better, if the jokes were actually funny, if more of the alternate universe counterparts of Sonic's friends had more than one generic character trait each, if the multiverse was more creative and varied, if the final seven episodes of this show didn't devolve into the third act of an MCU movie and then just arbitrarily end, if Nine's character arc actually had a satisfying conclusion instead of ending with either isolation or nonexistence. Maybe we'd be seeing people talk about more than just whether or not it should be considered canon if the writing was any good.

"Canon" is not real, and it sure as hell isn't worth sending people death threats over. It's a storytelling tool. Real human beings decide what does and doesn't go into that canon, or how much they do or don't want to draw on past stories, when creating a new story. Serving that canon is secondary to creating a story where the emotional truth resonates with the audience. And Sonic Prime failed to do that. That is its true failing.

And finally, to close out...

Since people will ask, here are my current ranking of the Sonic TV shows, now that Prime is finished.

Sonic Boom

Sonic SatAM

Sonic X

The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog

Sonic Prime

Sonic Underground

Yes, I'd say Boom is my favorite. It's far from my ideal Sonic cartoon, but it gets a lot of points for being as funny as it is. But the top four are all shows I'd say I like, more or less. They all have their pros and cons.

So now, uh... I guess let's hope the live action Knuckles show coming to Paramount+ is better than the underwhelming synopsis of "Knuckles helps deputy sheriff Wade train in the ways of the echidna warrior" would imply? Maybe we'll get lucky?

[sakurastarkey]

Once again one of my pixel art pieces made it to the next bit! I did the posters!!! 😄

[werewolf-cuddles]

[champofpallet]

Father Son Lesson?! (One shot based on the Dorkly series Pokemon Ralphie)

Read Part One Here!

It was afternoon now, the sun was settling behind the clouds. Red had brought Todd to the middle of Route One as all the wild Pokemon walk about in the tall grass. He may have not dimention hopped, but at least seeing something so nostalgic made him smile great big. There was a sping in the boy’s step as Todd went along behind him.

There was something odd about this boy...he looked exactly like someone, in fact he was named after his dad! But that couldn’t be it. Time travel didn’t exist and this must have been some fan of his father’s or something.

Red steped on the grass of Route one seeing a brown tail move in the grass. The perfect target. “Alright Todd, watch what I’m ‘bout to do, okay? I know this isn’t the best starter Pokemon, but...”  Since his Pokemon were all high leveled he had to teach at least one of them false swipe. That would leave the other Pokemon with one health point and in turn he could teach Todd how to catch and battle Pokemon. Maybe they should go to the Pokemon Center first...

“So you’re not going to teach me?” Todd asked seemingly pouting and crossing his arms. Red shook his head and rolled his eyes. This kid was a bit of a brat. “No, I am going to teach you. I just gotta get a Pokemon out of the computer that knows false swipe or at least low leveled. You can’t catch a fainted Pokemon.”

Todd scoffed and took out a tablet looking thing from his bag. “Computers? That’s so old. You just use this tablet and you can withdraw and deposit Pokemon whenever you want.” The boy acts like this was comon knowledge. He was just trying to help him, no reason for him to be so stuck up. “The heck? When did they invent this? Jeez you all sure have it easier than I did!” The younger boy tilts his head. “How old are you?”

“I’m eleven! How old are you?” “Eleven!” “Then what year is this?” “20XX!”

And then it hit him...he didn’t travel to any present dimemsion, he traveled into the future! It sort of scared him how the same most of everything looked. Red felt like he was going to faint. He just felt dizzy out of nowhere.

“Hey! Red! Earth to Red!”

The champion quickly shook his head to get out of his daze. “...y-yeah?” Todd hands his tablet to him a bit forcefully trying to get him to take it. He looks down at the tablet and back up at the other as if he didn’t know what to do. This just irritated Todd even more. “Sign in and take out a Pokemon already! I don’t have all day.” Ah so you sign in just like you do with the computers back home? Alright so let’s see if his old account still worked.

As he typed his information, the Pokemon Box came up very quickly. There were probably more than a hundered and fiffty-one Pokemn in there! There was even some he didn’t see before! A lot of them were level ninty-nine or level a hundred Pokemon. There was no way he would use such strong Pokemon against such weak Route One Pokemon. So instead he got an egg from the box. What egg was it? He didn’t know. Maybe walking around would catch it. And just like that with a press of a finger the egg was in Red’s team. It looked nothing like the eggs he’s seen in Kanto...wonder what it was...

Red cradled the egg in his arms and showed it to Todd. “It was just in my box I have no idea where it came from.” Todd looked at the egg then back to Red. He didn’t look happy. “YOU MORON YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET A POKEMON NOT AN EGG!” Red stepped back feeling a bit intimidated by the angry kid.  “I-I couldn’t find any that weren’t really high leveled so I-” “IT’S AN EGG! YOU CAN’T BATTLE WITH AN EGG YOU IDIOT!”

As Red backed up from the other’s angry outbursts, he steped on a rock and fell backwards on his behind. That was when the egg began to crack. Oh no! Did he hurt it? Another crack and another, when finally a big shining light came from inside the eggshell. Red and Todd sheilded their eyes from the blinding light as more and more light come eminate from it. Soon though the light had decipated. Should Red dare open his eyes? Has he hurt this poor Pokemon by accident?

“Mew~!”

Something soft was rubbing his face. It also seemed to have a tail since it was rubbing it’s tail against the end of his nose. “KACHUU~!” 

“Mewmeewmewmeew~!” That almost sounded like laughter.

Red opened his eyes and the first thing he was met with was Todd’s jaw dropped to the ground. He blinked out of bewilderment before finally shaking his head and looking angry again. “HOW THE HECK DID YOU GET A MEW OUTTA AN EGG!? AN’ A SHINY ONE AT THAT?!”

“Wait....it was a shiny Mew?” Red asked with a confused face. “YES YES IT’S RIGHT THERE RESTING ON YOUR HAT!” On his hat? A blue Pokemon looked down at him with a smile. “Meew~!”

Red was silent for a second as his brain processed this information. Red hatched a Mew, the last Pokemon he needed to complete his Kanto Pokedex. He quickly looked at his Pokedex. One hundred and fifty-one Pokemon caught. He could feel happy tears lining his eyes. “AHAHA! I FINALLY CAUGHT THEM ALL! AFTER ALL THE YEARS OF SEARCHING! I GOT A MEW!” The sudden outburst made Todd jump a bit, but there was something about this dude that just made him smile. “Heh, congradu-”

That’s when he was cut off by Red wrapping his arms around him. Todd was as shocked as he was before, not saying anything. “I wouldn’t have completed it if it wasn’t for you...thank you Todd!” This was odd...he looked like his father, he almost sounded like his father, and he kinda smelled like his father. This was...kind of a weird feeling. He never had gotten a hug from...no this wasn’t him. There was no way it was him! This guy is just some dude who likes his father and wanted to take one of his Pokemon. Good. Let him. Serves the old man right. Todd won’t say anything to him. And the fact this was the one Pokemon his dad has been looking for was now given to a fan of his, that just was icing on the cake in his opinion.

“Hey man, you’re welcome. No problem.” Todd patted him on the back as the smile never left his face. Red let go at the last moment feeling a little awkward for hugging him for so long. “Ah...*ahem*....t-thanks. Anyway, I’ll teach you how to catch a Pokemon now.” With the Mew following Red from behind they come across another Pidgey. False Swipe was now taught to the newly hatched legendary and it quickly made the flying type lose all but one health point. A Pokeball was tossed before catching it with a loud click sound. 

Mew happily did cartwheels in the air proudly as Red went and grabbed the Pokeball. He sprays it with a Potion and hands it to Todd. “Here you go! You do need a Pokemon to catch others with. Unless, you want Mew. I don’t mind giving you them.” Mew looked at Todd and back to Red. They were so sure Red was his mama though. Aww...they have drawn onto Red. “N-No thanks. Mew already seems to really like you.” Mew rubbed it’s face against Red again with a happy gurggle. The Kanto champion giggled rubbing the Pokemon’s chin. “Are you sure? Well okay. I already healed your Pidgey. Oh and here!” Red handed him some Pokeballs. “You can have these too!” 

Now a whole flurry of emotion’s filled Todd’s heart. As he looks at Red he sees his dad smiling back at him. He blushed a bit and twiddled his thumbs. “H-Hey Red? Can you watch me catch a Pokemon and then we can go see my dad?” Red tilted his head. Wasn’t he annoyed with him before? No matter, he kind of wanted to stay with someone who knew this time period better than he did anyway.

“I got some time. Sure!”

This gave Todd an urge of excitement for some reason and a look of determination went over his face.

“Right! I won’t let you down!”

The Pokemon were still bountiful so he easily encountered a Rattata. After a few tackles and a throw of the Pokeball, Todd had caught his first Pokemon. “Congrats Todd!” Red gleefully stated as he wrapped his arms arround the other. Again he was as still as a board. What was wrong with this kid? Red let go of him in case he was uncomfortable. Todd was quiet as he stares at his tablet. It wanted him to give him a nickname. He hesitated, but put the letters        “R E D” into the imput. Red noticed this and gave a sly smile. “So you named it after me, eh? Thanks!”

“I didn’t name him after you, I named him after my dad! Because I’m gonna rub his nose in it that I caught a Pokemon without his help.” Red laughed and slapped Todd on the back making the boy yelp. This kid was strong. “Ahahaha! Yeah! An’ I wanna see the look on his face too!” A moment of silence. “Ya know, you’re a pretty cool kid, Todd. I know how it feels when your dad is away....” He looks down at the ground. Todd looks up at him for a second before quickly pulling down Red’s hat over his eyes and taking a running start.

“And you’re a dork!” For the first time Todd was giggling. Red was about to tell him off after fixing his hat, but noticed the playful intent in the other’s eyes. Red and Mew chased after him playfully. “Who you callin’ a dork, ya dweeb!”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An email popped up on a desktop computer. Being a busy guy, he had hardly any time to look at fan emails. That’s what interns are for. But this caught his attention. The sender was from BILL’S PC INC. 

Concerned, he clicks on the email.

“There has been multiple log-ins on this account. We are informing you in case this was not you. If you have any questions call us at ____________ or visit us at _______________”

Someone was using his Pokemon storage account? Who could have done this? He quickly checked his box to see everything was in place, but there was one Pokemon that was missing. An egg he was going to hatch...

This won’t do...someone had went into his account and stole his Mew! In a rush of anger he pushed the things off his desk as they scattered to the ground. This alarmed an assistant who went in to check on him.

“Mr. Red? Is everything okay?”

“I need to speak to Bill. In person. Send him to me.”

[minus-starcatcher-beyond]

So! This is a Minus Friday Night Funkin’ AU that was sort of also based off the Starcatcher mod, but now it’s mostly just minus. Its pretty much a spin off sorta blog for @ask-fnf-minus-starcatcher-cast. Like it takes place in the same universe, just focuses on a different cast of characters.

This time it’s Nonsense, Monika, and Sunky! Who by the way, are now available for questions! But more characters will be added in the future. (Update many more characters have been added-)

After the group had been trapped in the white realm known as the Void, they were able to escape. They just need to find their way home and everything’s gonna be cool!

…right?

Unfortunately, they got sidetracked, Dark Blue has been impersonated by an evil alternate by the name of 8, and his true whereabouts are unknown. Is he alive? Or can they still save him from insanity before it’s too late? Or will they all perhaps fall, one by one, to the wrath of the alternates..? Now, our heroes must search the one of the most dangerous, paranormal filled places on earth, Mandela County, for the truth.

And here’s the rest of the muses’ bios that I can’t fit here!

And finally, rules post!

https://ask-fnf-minus-starcatcher-cast.tumblr.com/post/668149393389715456/ok-this-is-gonna-be-the-rules-post-ill-edit-this

[inaccurate-halo-quotes]

War Games Training

*Fireteam Crimson finishing a wave of enemies*

Crimson 1: (Sees Health Pack) Alright, time for some Healing.

Crimson 3: Wait, 1, maybe I should take it, I have the lowest health.

Crimson 4: Uh...Yeah but I have the least amount of lives, so...

Crimson 2: Guys, I'm the best. I should take it if we actually want to make it to Jul 'Mdama.

Crimson 3: Hey, you do not need that Health pack, Crimson 2.

Crimson 2: So we're gonna give it Crimson 4? he lost a life in the first round, sister, we might as well throw it away.

Crimson 4: I'm a little Rusty, ok?

Crimson 2: Do you REALLY see this guy making it to the Warden Eternal?

Crimson 3: He's got a point, 4. At this rate, you'll be using a "Continue" by wave 2.

Crimson 4: Yeah, but I have the most points!

Crimson 2: WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT POINTS?!

Crimson 3: This guy thinks he's Billy Fucking Mitchell!

*As the three argue, Crimson 1 grabs the Health Pack and uses it*

Crimson 4: 1, what the hell?!

Crimson 1: You were taking forever.

Crimson 3: YOU'RE AT FULL HEALTH, DUDE!

Crimson 2: Aww...Now we'll never get to Jul 'Mdama!

Crimson 1: Aww, quit your bitchin! I'm sure we'll be fine without a health pack for 5 more min-

*Suddenly, a Scarab Blast shoots at them, disintegrating the three, then they instantly respawn, glaring at 1*

Crimson 1: ...well, now you guys definitely don't need it.

Crimson 2: ...Fuck you.

[resisteverything]

I hate Dorkly so much. They had a whole bit where Raiden and Johnny cage were pitted against each other and the joke is that they’re obviously not on the same level and Johnny knows that but they just let the joke sit there for like a whole minute until Johnny decides to fight Sonya instead. Then we cut to her after having reduced him to charred bones, but that potentially hilarious subversion is followed up with an overly long bit about a talent agent wanting to give her bigger boobs, to the point that the final note of this joke about a hollywood actor fighting a god is that a random third guy who wasn’t then there before gets insulted for being a shitty agent, like even if that boob joke was shorter and more concise would you really want this to be where the bit goes? This is so unfunny.