#edward teach has funny tiny arms

[googoogojob]

calypso gave her blessing fyi

[m00mis]

Hiiii if you can can you please write Seventeen as dads please? 🥺

as a no1 dilf lover i sure can

{ gender neutral apart from cheol & mingyu because i HAD to. }

seventeen as dads

cheol - would beg for a daughter, and spoil her greatly, anything she wanted was hers. he's her biggest fan and would sign her up to so many sports, making sure to never miss a match. he'd make banners to hold up for her to cheer her on, he's so intense he almost got thrown out when he started arguing with the ref. they would have nightly gossip sessions where she could rant about her day. he would be her rock, someone she could always go to for anything

jeonghan - borderline dangerous with children because he would swing and throw them around. thinks that kids should be free to do what they want (within reason) and just asks them to come home for dinner. he trusts his kid a lot and is a very chill parent but when they start acting out he does NOT let them get away with it and is very judgmental "this is what you do with your time? do something better with your life..."

joshua - babies his kid forever and they're always an angel in his eyes. constantly says "remember when you were this big? time flies" and always reminisces. you catch him looking through photographs late at night, especially the night before their birthday. cries at every milestone and is so touched when they handmake anything for him. loves them so much, he is so grateful for them

jun - a very playful dad who is a big kid himself really. enjoys playtime as much as they do (maybe even more) and is often the one to ask them if they want to play. as they get older he teaches them everything he knows. he just really enjoys doing activities with them! teaching them to cook, to play the piano, to paint. there's mini juns running about all over the place

hoshi - the jokester, the comedian, the free entertainment for the whole family. his fav sound is his kid's laughter and will do anything to hear it. when he tucks them into bed he gives them kisses down their arms and on their feet. he can't help rolling around on their bed attacking them with kisses. (and ofc he constantly roams around his house as a tiger. paints both their faces as tigers, his tiger cub <3)

wonwoo - quite bashful around his kid but the little things he will do for them and go out of his way for show how much he loves them. he would do whatever they say and happily watch them do what they want because they're so cute. they know they have him wrapped around their tiny fingers and he does not care one bit. is definitely giving them lifts everywhere when they're older so they don't have to pay taxi fare

woozi - plays the piano and sings to get them to calm down and stop crying and it works every time. loves recording their baby voice and lets them make their own music tracks even though it stresses him out letting their grubby hands touch his stuff. he composes a lullaby for them (edward cullen style). never seen him as happy as when he's with his baby

dk - buys so many outfits because he cannot go past the baby section without dying of cuteness at how small and cute all the clothes are. photographs every little thing and is very protective, always there to catch his baby incase they fall or stumble. definitely the embarrassing dad who tries to be funny around their friends if they come over

mingyu - has mini dates with his daughter, getting her ready himself and doing her hair (badly). they go to see a movie together and a cafe after, sharing cake and a milkshake. househusband is naturally a great father and his heart bursts when she clings to him, following him around while he does chores. he buys matching aprons so they can cook together, the kitchen ends up a mess but the amount of giggling makes up for it

minghao - he's so nurturing and in tune to what children need and treats them as mini adults, respecting their space and emotions. the only thing he wants his kid to be is kind, constantly teaching them to respect others. his fav part of the day would be bedtime, he would stay with them until they fell asleep, stroking their hair and telling them stories

seungkwan - will fight children. if his kid gets bullied he will storm into the school to find who hurt his baby and he would get banned from the premises. (tbh he's terrified of children tho they're scary) he also teases his kid a lot and only stops once they start doing it back but he's glad that they learnt to fight their own corner from the very best. definitely a soccer mom

vernon - thinks his kid is so funny and laughs at whatever they do (lovingly). constantly plays music for them in hopes that as they grow up they'll have the same music taste. i think he would be the more submissive dad who lets them do makeup on his face and put stickers and fake tats on him, and would be the patient if they played doctor. when they got older he would take them bowling and to the arcade

dino - nothing he's achieved compares to being a father, he loves his kid so much, such a proud dad. has a photo of them in his wallet and shows it to everyone he can. feels like he'll explode every time he comes home and hears "daddy!". he would take his kid to the dance studio with him so they could make cute choreo together. although he would love for his kid to follow in his footsteps, he urges them to find what they want to do and would be so supportive no matter what.

[metal-mouse]

Yo I kinda feel like Ominis would act like Edward from Twilight at first if he found out MC was pregnant with his daughter. Like he'd be upset at the prospect of the child being a typical Gaunt but then totally fall in love with her and regret his behavior.

I can absolutely see this and this has the potential for S tier angst.

under a cut because I just started like rambling my speculations and also bc mentions of pregnancy and childbirth.

I'm not going to lie my brain immediately went to Ominis trying to bite the baby out of MC like Edward did with Bella but clearly that wouldn't be the issue (I hope?????)

The pregnancy announcement would come as a massive shock to Ominis, and I can really see him distancing himself from MC as a form of self-preservation and in his mind it's also protecting MC from himself and his bloodline. He really feels as though he's got tainted blood, and all of his family's bullshit will get passed on to his child. It brings back a lot of his childhood trauma, and he spends the first like 7 months of MC pregnancy having horrible nightmares of his past. He still loves MC, and he still treats her with respect and cares for her but he’s a lot more quiet and he seems to be keeping her at an arm’s length. They talk a lot about his family and his emotions, MC is trying to be as supportive as possible but Ominis is a stubborn bastard and also super cynical so the conversations kind of just go in circles.

MC is understandably devastated by his reaction and is depressed as hell. She's scared too, she's the one growing a whole ass human inside of her, and she does understand Ominis' reservations about passing down his gene-pool to a child, but she's adamant that they will be loving parents who teach their children empathy and respect. She reminds Ominis constantly that he is nothing like his family and there's no reason to expect their children to be any different than him.

Towards the end of the pregnancy though, Ominis feels the baby kicking one night, and he just kind of makes a surprised pikachu face. He talks to MC's belly sometimes at night when he thinks MC is sleeping - she's listening the whole time - and he basically just asks the child to treat MC with respect and to not hurt her too much and he confesses to the baby how scared he is about who they will be and he’s scared that his family will find them and feel entitled to the baby. Sometimes MC has to get up when he’s fallen asleep to go cry lol.

When MC finally delivers the baby, which tbh yeah it's gonna be a girl - Ominis is such girl dad material it's not even funny - he is so immediately whipped. From the first second he hears her cries, he would do anything for her. He realizes she’s a vulnerable tiny little thing that needs to be cared for, and gods be praised does he care for her. He's so sweet with his daughter, playing with her and reading to her and transfiguring things for her. He charms some gold butterflies to flutter over the crib.

Ominis and MC would wait until their baby was much more grown to let her know about Ominis' family - she'd rebel against it until she saw Merope and Morfin Gaunt one day in Little Hangleton while trying to find her father's family and just nopes right out of that one.

The baby would look like him. Eldest daughter looking like her dad trope af. His hair, his nose, but MC's smile. She would share a lot of personality traits with MC, except she's got Ominis' sarcastic humour and his penchant for transfiguration. Not interested much in combat, thinks DADA is cool but doesn't love it.

Anne would be the first person to meet the baby outside of MC's parents/siblings if they're involved in MC life. After Anne, it's Poppy and Natty, and then finally Sebastian comes and meets his niece (in this world they've all made up! thanks!).

Asdgjsoeifgjsdfgn now I'm just thinking about soft!Ominis being such a dad. Look at the rant you've put me on. This is going to be on my mind all day now. Thank you LOL

And then 16 years down the line the daughter goes fucking full evil can u imagine

[babyspiderling]

Little Red Corvette p.2 Michael Jackson x reader

(Bad Era)

Eight Months Later (1983)

I did this pregnancy on my own. My mother was appalled at the fatherless child growing inside of me and refused to support me through my pregnancy. The struggles and frustrations for the past nine months very easily justified when I held my baby boy in my arms. His skin was a beautiful shade of brown, his eyes deep and pulling like his fathers. Looking down at the tiny human finally in the world, there was no question or doubt in my mind who the father was. By blessing or curse, I was the only one who knew who the father was. Relatively early in my pregnancy, Michael released a video for one of his songs "Billie Jean". I sat and stressed over the possibility of him knowing of the child in my womb for weeks, but nothing came of it. No managers offering hush money, no reporters asking about the legitimacy of the child inside of me, nothing, so life went on. Looking down at the life in my arms, snuggled towards me I spoke softly. "Edward Michael L/N. My little blessing."

1986

It wasn't too long after Edward, or Eddie was born that I went back to work. I hired a sitter, or depending on the client, brought him in with me. Whitney Houston and Cher absolutely gushed over him during breaks. When Eddie was three, I got a call from Quincy Jones asking me to help him out on the mixing on an album. I agreed and found someone to watch my son while I worked. Quincy didn't tell me who I was hired for and I didn't want to seem unprofessional to whoever Quincy was working with. I kissed my three year old good-bye and got into my car to head to the studio they were using. "Bye Blessing! Mommy's going to work, but I'll be home soon. I love you so much!" I drove through the California traffic to the studio and parked my car near the front. I checked myself in the mirror before making my way inside.

"Y/N! You made it! Where's Eddie? You know you can bring him any time? Little dude has got potential if you ever want him to get into our world." I laugh at Quincy's antics. "Yeah, I know you love Eddie. Thank you for the compliment, but he's three, Q. He's not going into show business any time soon." Q shrugs his shoulders and turns back to the soundboard in his rolling chair. "Alright, let's get down to business shall we?" He nods and presses play on the vocals. I feel the blood drain from my face as a familiar voice croons from the speakers.

"I don't care what you talkin' 'bout baby, I don't care what you say. Don't you come walkin' beggin' back mama,I don't care anyway"

I stand stock still in shock, flashes of our one night together, my isolated pregnancy, my little boy waiting at home for me. I yank myself out of it with a sharp gasp when Q places a hand on my elbow, his eyebrows creased in worry. "Hey, Y/N, you good? You look like you've seen a ghost. What's going on?" I swallow and tuck my hair behind my ear, a nervous tick. "Yeah, I'm fine Q. I don't know what that was. How're we mixing this one?" He sits back in his chair, taking a deep breath and heaving it out in a large sigh. "Yeah, about that. Smelly's really particular on how he wants each track to sound on this album. He wants his voice to be layered in a harmony with himself during the chorus. He's recorded the audio, now it's our turn to get it just the way he wants." I nod and sit down in my own chair, slipping the large, bulky headphones over my ears to start working. The sooner I can finish working on Michael's album the better.

"Alright! Two music heads working on that was much faster than just me. I've got a few more tracks to work on before the release of the album. You good to come in say, day after tomorrow? Early morning so we can get a lot done. And bring Eddie. I miss my godson." I laugh and roll my eyes, giving Quincy a playful shove on the shoulder. "Works for me. And yes, I'll bring Eddie if the 'Client' won't mind a toddler running around the studio space while we work." Q chuckles and reclines in his chair. "No, he won't mind. I have a feeling you know who we're working for here?" I nod, and grab my purse off the ground. "Alright, you know it's Michael. I promise he won't mind. He loves kids" I nod, not really looking forward to potentially forcing Michael into Eddie's life out of obligation. I drive home reflecting on the strange chain of events that brought me here in the first place. I pull into the driveway and unlock the door. I drop my things on the floor where I stand and catch my little boy running into my arms. "Mommy! Me and April painteded! Come see! Come see!" He wiggles out of my arms and drags me to the fridge by my wrist. He bounces where he stands as I look at his painting. It was surprisingly detailed for a three year old. I smile proudly at him as I turn to my sitter, April. "Thank you for watching him so last minute. I really appreciate it." She just smiles at me and grabs her purse from the table. "Oh, Ms. L/N, it's really no trouble. Eddie is just the best kid ever. He was so funny during lunch. I had the radio playing while we ate and he just sat there, dancing in his seat. He didn't even realize he was doing it! But honestly, he is the easiest kid I have ever watched." I pay her and walk her out to her car parked on the street. I turn back to Eddie with a smile. "Wanna eat and watch a movie tonight with Mommy?" My blessing nods his head so hard and fast, I think it'll fly off like a bobble head with a loose spring. "Alright bud, what do you want for dinner?" "PIZZA!" I chuckle at my little boy. "Alright, pizza it is."

I buckle Eddie in the backseat, and climb into the front seat myself. "We're gonna see Uncle Q today buddy! Mommy has to make some music, but you get to hang out with us!" He kicks his legs in the air and gives a shout of excitement. "Yay Uncle Q!" I turn on the radio and look over my shoulder to pull out of the driveway to get to the studio. Parking, I pull the keys out of the ignition and grab Eddie, reminding him to put his backpack on. I hold his hand as we make our way to the studio, the front empty. I sit Eddie down on the chair and go to grab a cup of coffee from the lobby. "I'll be right back baby. I'm gonna get some coffee, and find Uncle Q ok?" He nods and swings his legs in the chair. I hand him the truck from his bag and kiss his forehead before leaving.

I bumped into Quincy in the hall after getting my coffee and went back to the studio space together. When we opened the door, a slim caramel skinned man was kneeling before my son, talking and laughing with him. At the sound of the door opening, Eddie glanced at us. "Mommy! Uncle Q! I made a new friend! His name is Michael, like me!" I widen my eyes in shock at his innocent chatter. Quincy scoops up his godson and chuckles. "Oh yeah Eddie? And what did you guys talk about?" Eddie wraps his arms around Q's neck. "We talked about drawing! Michael is very really good at coloring!" Q humors his godson, chuckling at the boy who has him wrapped around his little finger. While the two talk Michael lifts himself from the ground and introduces himself. "Hi, I'm Michael. I don't think we've been introduced." He sticks out his hand and I feel conflicted. I was so afraid of him noticing me, connecting the dots, but it hurt a bit that I meant so little to him. In his defense, it was one night, four years ago. I grasp his hand and introduce myself again. "Y/N. I'm mixing for your album with Q. You've already met my son, Eddie." He shakes my hand, and smiles back at Eddie. "He's a joy. I was recording and didn't know he was here. I look up and little guy's just dancing in his seat like crazy. He was just coloring on a blank sheet of paper. Sweet kid." I nod and swallow. "Let's get to work, shall we?" Michael nods and goes to the soundboard to listen to the new version of "Leave Me Alone". I watch Michael bob his head to the rhythm, as Eddie dances in the corner. I nibble and pull on my lips in a nervous tick. The music fades out and Michael looks at Q and I with a smile. "Awesome guys! Just what I wanted. I want Y/N as my mixer for the rest of the album. That good Quincy?" Quincy bounces Eddie in his lap, grinning. "Of course it's good! Gotta teach my godson the ropes right?" I smile and ruffle Eddie's hair lovingly, nodding along. Q, Eddie, and I occupy the main front of the studio space as Michael goes back to record another track.

The day goes by quickly, Q leaving the three of us alone to grab lunch. I sit at the recording desk and write down a few lyrics here and there, a melody and message in my head dying to get out. I glance over at my son and see him and Michael goofing around. I smile sadly, imagining what our lives would be like if Michael didn't leave that morning, if he knew he had a son with me. I guess I didn't realize how long I had been staring at the two until my son met my eyes, causing him to run to me in a comforting manner. "Mommy, what's wrong?" I shake off the sadness and force a smile on my face to keep my caring boy from worrying over me. "I'm fine baby. Just a bit tired. It may be Mommy's nap time soon." He nods and giggles, kissing my cheek before going back to Michael. Michael picks up Eddie, placing him on his hip, and walks towards me. 'Hey, Y/N, if you want, you can take a nap in the recording studio. I've got a couch back there. I can come and get you when Quincy comes back with lunch. I try to turn down his offer, but a yawn interrupts my objection. Michael gently guides me to the studio and sits me down on the couch, exiting and turning the lights out on the way. Against my wishes, I close my eyes and succumb to the peace of sleep.

I groggily pulled myself from the depths of dreamland at the sounds of people talking and laughing. I heard Eddie and Michael talking and it immediately caught my attention. "So, your mom makes music, your Uncle Q makes music, what does your dad do?" I peek out from the window and see Eddie and Michael sitting on the floor, rolling toy trucks around, a takeout container setting on the desk. "I don't know. I don't have a dad. Mommy plays Mommy and Daddy. She goes to all my games, plays with me, teaches me how to put on shoes." From where I stand, I can't see Michael's face, and I decide now is a good time to get back out there. I open the door and both boys look up at me. I glance at my watch and see that it's about time to go home. "Hey, sorry I slept so long. Why didn't you wake me up?" Michael shrugs and stands. "You looked so peaceful while you slept. Didn't want to wake you, let alone let you drive home tired. Lunch got here not too long ago so your food should still be warm. I was actually about to head home myself if you're ok with coming in tomorrow instead? We can keep working." I nod and grab my container. "In case I get here before you, what are you wanting to do with the other tracks?" I eat my food as he goes over what he wants to be done with a couple other songs to be put on the album. Now finished with my food, I throw away my empty container, asking Eddie to pack up so we can head home. Before we leave, Q comes back in, sad that we have to leave so soon. I promise to bring Eddie back tomorrow if that's alright with Michael, which it of course is. I give a hug to Q, and an awkward hug/handshake maneuver to Michael. Eddie practically tackles the both of the men in hugs and races to grab my hand. As we leave, I can faintly hear Michael tell Q "She seems so familiar, like I've met her before."

Taglist: @accio-boys​

[heartfeltheart]

Alchemy: Tiny Steps

Chapters: 1/45 Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist/Harry Potter Rating: T Relationships: Edward/Winry, Lan Fan/Ling, and May/Alphonse. Primary Characters: Edward Elric, Severus Snape Additional Tags: Crossover, Teacher!Edward, BrOtp Edward/Severus. Sassy beyond measure. Pro!Snape Series: Part 2 of 9. Summary: Part two of the Alchemy Series.  Politics. Either you love it, hate it or you live it. For Alchemy Teacher Edward Elric, he lives it, hates it and loves it when he gets the upper hand. Here is to another year of hell... D/C: I do not own Harry Potter or Fullmetal Alchemist. Discord: La Red(Mesh Mash of… stuff.): https://discord.gg/KYjmVAb Alchemy Series: https://discord.gg/DejEYNJ

"There's no such thing as a painless lesson, they just don't exist. Sacrifices are necessary. You can't gain anything without losing something first. Although if you can endure that pain and walk away from it, you'll find that you now have a heart strong enough to overcome any obstacle. Yeah... a heart made Fullmetal."

-.-

Edward Elric stared out into the window of the train compartment he had claimed for the trip. Sitting across of him are Alphonse and Mei, both of them snoozing away throughout the duration of the trip. Xiao-Mei tucked tightly in Mei's arms, the tiny softly snoring the trip away. The Eldest Elric couldn't help but smile every time he turns his sight of his younger brother and his future sister-in-law.

Loud tutting sounded off from the back of the compartment, signifying the four of them weren't entirely alone. Sitting at the back of the compartment are several of Xing's Advisors and ambassadors, half of which are giving Alphonse and Mei either looks of wariness or dislike. Edward could recognize the latters for not liking Alphonse for whatever reason or another. Or maybe for the fact he isn't someone they would have preferred to marry the Xing Princess... Eh... whatever the reason, they don't like the younger Elric Brother.

Looking back out the window to see the moon shining high in the sky, Edward is wondering if Winry is looking up at the night sky. With the thought of his fiancé, the Elric wonder just what exactly waits for him back home. Just what exactly is waiting for him when he gets back home? The wrench of Doom? A maiming? Fresh Apple Pie? The possibilities are endless at this point. If he ends up in the hospital, he'll blame Colonel Bas... Excuse him... General Bastard for it. He still has no clue what exactly he told Winry.

It is for that unknown Edward sent Xerxes to the Rockbell Residence and with a clear order to wait for him to return. The last thing he wanted is that feeling of the temptation of wanting to write a letter asking Winry just what was informed to her.

For Edward, he rather faces whatever Winry will throw at his his face now, than in a letter. This way he won't know of his future demise ahead of time. For now the Colonel needs to keep his mind onto what awaits for him at Central. He could already sense the massive piles of paperwork that are waiting for him once he gets back.

-.-

Edward fixed himself a cup of tea during the negotiations between Amestris and Xing. He was invited by the Fuhrer Grumman to join him for the meeting. It was a simple invite, one of which he could not refuse. Even if he wasn't invited to the meeting, the Colonel would have found a way to get in. Alphonse is part of the meeting as a sort of ambassador. Ended up brother dearest has dual citizenship, well that was new. Should he be surprised? Nope. Considering what he has been told and saw, not surprising.

So far, the meeting is going well, a couple of arguments here and there, nothing out of the norm. If anything, the meeting is going on schedule considering. The only part that seems to be the giant elephant in the room is to see which side will bring up the topic of magic. Now if someone would mention it, then it would be truth-tastic.

-.-

" How much longer do you believe this will take?" Alphonse asked his brother once everyone was excused from the meeting for a lunch break.

"Normally...weeks... months... depends on both sides likes or hate each other's guts." Edward replied with a shrug, he will never get used to being in full uniform for long periods of time. At least this one isn't loose and he isn't tripping over the pants sleeves. "Considering that old guy that's been giving you the stank eye asked about a Magical Alliance."

"In his defense, several of his grandchildren are magically gifted and is looking out for them. For your information... he wanted me to mention this Alliance, he's never been much of a talker." Alphonse stated defensively, he elbowed his brother in the stomach and speed-walked away from any possible form of retaliation from his brother. As I moved away, his traditional Xingese golden and emerald garment swished behind himself that highlighted the golden threads sewn into the outfit. Ling had given the garment to Alphonse to signify further his status to the Emperor.

"Dammit Al!" Edward cursed his brother and promptly chased after his younger brother.

"Hahaha!" Alphonse laughed at his brother's attempts at trying to catch him. "Having a little trouble over there, Ed?"

"Grrr....." Of course, Alphonse will go for a short joke. It didn't help that Alphonse is taller than Edward, even in his mortal form. "That's low, Little Brother."

"Hahaha!"

"Colonel Elric, you have a call."

Edward came to a complete stop at the mention of his name and the fact he had a call. A shiver ran down his spine when a thought came to mind, he could already sense his death is near. That sense only grew stronger with every step he took to the private room he was being escorted to. He didn't see his brother giving him a sympathetic look before he walked off towards a seemingly random direction.

-.-

"Edward, Roy told me about your new role in the Military..." Winry Rockbell sat in a wooden chair, talking to Edward through the phone. She kept fiddling with the cable as she listened to what was being said to her. "Ed...Ed... ED! Listen to me!... Do I have your attention?... Good. Edward, we are going to talk about this once you get back... WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?"

Winry slammed the phone without another word back onto the receiver with a loud huff, she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the phone. Seconds ticked by and it seemed more like hours for the Mechanic.

"Hoot?"

Winry looked over to see Xerxes looking up at her with curious eyes. "Hello, Xerxes..."

"Hoot. Hoot."

"You do know I don't understand you?" Winry stated in a monotone voice, with a grumble, she reached down and picked up the tiny owl. Xerxes furrowed into Winry's arms and hooted happily at the attention. The Blonde looked down at the owl with resigned eyes, with a sigh she reached over to pick up the phone and dialed a familiar number. "Hello...? Could you connect me to Colonel Edward Elric?... Thank you."

-.-

Edward slammed his head against the wall repeatedly, mentally berating himself. Of course, it was Winry that had called him and they got into an 'argument'. Well, if that's what most would want to call it. There was shouting, curses were exchanged, and it didn't appear the typical relationship. What actually happened is Winry waiting for a phone call or even a letter from him, himself telling her what is occurring in his life; especially how it is connected to hers. What caused this little... episode... is the fact someone else informed her. General Useless just have to open his giant mouth. This wouldn't be happening if he was the one that told Winry of his new promotion and the job requirements in general.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Not even bothering life his head from against the wall, Edward picked up the phone and raised it up to his ear. "Colonel Elric speaking...Winry?... Hi... I miss you too... Yeah... I don't know how long this meeting will take... The moment I could leave, I'll take the next train back to Resembool... Have an apple pie ready for me?... I'll see you soon."

Edward waited for the click to signify Winry had ended the call before placed the phone back on the receiver. He couldn't help but smile, with a chuckle he pushed away from the wall and headed out of the room. Now to go back to the meeting and hope he will be excused to get back home... home. Heh, what a funny word to use...

-.-

It took the fact that Edward is tightly gripping the arms of his chair to prevent himself from speaking out or making a complete fool out of himself. He couldn't take his eyes off his younger brother as said sibling argued, protested, and... is he bluffing? Who the hell is this guy? This wasn't his brother what so ever! Earlier, Alphonse had mostly kept quiet, whispered out a few words to the Xing's ambassadors or advisors, and well... nothing like this. The youngest of the Elric Brothers are taking a complete lead. The topic that has him acting in such a manner is the... Magical Alliance.

Unlike before, Roy Mustang is now part of the meeting and is the only one that is more than willing to go up ahead against Alphonse. Too bad for him, Alphonse studied well and had excellent teachers to teach him the art of diplomacy and tranquil smiles. If anything, Alphonse is making the older man look like an idiot in his own right. If he could, Edward would be laughing at the look of Roy's astonishment or rendering speechless. Here is a young man he had more or less grow right in front of his eyes. Well, mostly. Considering in the majority of those years Alphonse's soul was in a suit of armor but that's not the point. He knows the young man and this... is just who he expected of an Elric. Now if he could get a word in without having the other spun his words around and make him look like an idiot. He shouldn't be surprised, Al has always been the more diplomatic one of the two brothers but to this extent? Heh... It has the General wondering on the what if's but there's no point on wondering. He has to focus on winning this argument on food. How they went from politics to foods, Roy has no clue.

The only person that seemed to be enjoying this argument is Fuhrer Grumman, the man is taking down notes of the types of foods the two males are arguing about.

'When will this meeting ever end?'

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

Everyone in the meeting room turned their attention to the main entrance of the room, all of them wanting to know just who is interrupting the meeting. Everyone who is needed to be in the meeting is there and none of them are expecting anyone else. One of the guards that were standing by the door opened it and peeked his head out. There were loud whispers from the guard and whoever was on the other side.

A couple of minutes later, the guard returned to the meeting room with an armful of letters. Everyone, minus Alphonse, Edward, and Roy, did not recognize the waxed red seal on the envelopes. If anything, the fact that the eldest Elric brother started to curse under his breath. If he does not like this, then this is a bad thing.

"Colonel Elric? These just arrived for you." The guard said skeptically, he handed the armful of letters to the younger man before he quickly went back to his spot.

Edward glanced over at Grumman to see if the man is going to give him any sort of order. The only thing he got is that the Fuhrer looking at the letters curiously. The Golden Blonde opened the top letter of the stack and he couldn't help but pull a face at seeing who wrote it. "Cornelius Fudge... The bumbling pure-blood loving.... Ugh... the horrid pink thing.... Crap, crap, more crap. Let's see here... New Minister for Magic? Oooooh... this is bad."

"Colonel Elric?"

"Big brother?"

"Fullmetal?"

"We might have a tiny...huge... we have a problem. A very problematic problem."

"How problematic?"

"I give it a 6 or 7 on a scale to 10."

"Knowing you, that's actually a 20 or maybe a 30 to a scale of 5." Alphonse deadpanned. Everyone in the room had to agree to Alphonse statement.

"The current Minister is looking for someone to replace her next year, apparently, something about her health and mental stress. The one that everyone wants to puts in...is not suitable to run this society in my opinion..."

"Will this rise a complication for all of us?" One of the Xing's advisors asked in a serious tone.

"Severely. So... how about we finalize this Magical Alliance?"

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[pocketsizedsam-blog1]

The Unexpected Perks~ Chapter Twenty-One

Pairing: Jared x Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: Swearing,Mentions of abuse. 

Beta: @hazza-edward-styles

You and Jared had not seen the kids in over a month. You figured after you and Gen got in that big fight, even though she apologized to you, this was your punishment. She promised she’d have the boys and Odette up in time for Valentine’s Day, because she managed to get all of January off from filming and decided that she wanted to keep them in Idaho for another little while. You couldn’t wait to tell Thomas, Shepherd and Odette about their new sibling! You would’ve told them earlier only you wanted to tell them in person- and you haven’t seen them before Christmas. You left the Ackles place later than expected, on the morning that you and Jared were supposed to fly out, you end up throwing up all over the place. So $459 later, Jared managed to switch the day of your flight. You had a wonderful vacation at the Ackles’ place! You felt closer to Danneel than you ever have been since you met her. You two now have something to bond over, your pregnancy. Danneel was teaching you a lot about pregnancy and you couldn’t wait for them to come up to Vancouver again. You seen Danneel’s doctor in Austin while you were down there, for your eight week appointment. You and Jared loved to see your baby on the ultrasound screen, you knew you’d have a while to wait before you will see your baby in real life, because your due date wasn’t until early August. Now back in Vancouver, with Valentine’s Day closely approaching, you were rushing to find some cute and unique gift for Jared. It was the first time that you actually had to go shopping for a Valentine’s gift, and you were accompanied by Lacee, who was approaching her due date rather quickly,

“What do you think I should get for Jared? I need to get him something really great and really special, considering it’s our first Valentine’s together” You exclaimed.

“Maybe you can pick up a couple of things to make him a homemade gift… He’s that kind of guy.” Lacee smiled, rubbing her baby bump.

“Yeah, you’re right… But what can I pick up? I mean, I’m not all that crafty. At least I don’t think so.”

But, immediately, you thought of an idea. You dragged Lacee to the candy isle and glanced up and down the tall shelves full of candy. You picked up some Swedish Fish, Mints, Gummy Bears and Sweetarts.

“Jared does love candy.” Lacee chuckled.

“He does, which is why this will be totally perfect and totally cute!” You shot her a smile.

Next you dragged your very pregnant friend to the arts and crafts isle, where you picked up some construction paper and fancy markers.

“What are you going to get for Lana?”

“I dunno.” She shrugged. “I haven’t decided yet. This baby might just be enough for this Valentine’s Day.”

“Hey… are you feeling okay? You’ve been off ever since I picked you up.” You worried.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I think I’m just having braxton hicks contractions. They’re not comfortable, but I can assure you, it’s not the real thing.”

You breathed a sigh of relief, “Okay, thank god.”

“This will be you in eight months time, honey.” Lacee teased.

Quickly changing the subject after you went quiet and all color drained out of your face, Lacee asked you about your siblings.

“Adelaide and Adam? Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t talked to them since Addy told me their dad passed away. I offered to have them come stay with Jared and I, but Adam still hates me. I highly doubt he’d want to come all the way up here to Vancouver.”

“Oh… well that sucks.” Lacee sighed.

Changing the subject again, Lacee picked up these cute, wooden letters.

“Lana and I decided on Danielle for a girl and Braden for a boy. I figured I could paint these and put them up on the shelf above the baby’s crib.” Lacee smiled. “I honestly hope it’s a girl, but lana is kind of hoping for a boy.”

“I’m sure you’ll be happy with whatever you get, as long as he or she is happy and healthy.�� You smiled softly, watching Lacee pick up more wooden letters to spell both names.

You couldn’t imagine that in around thirty-two weeks time, you would be the one getting ready to give birth. Even just the thought of it was scary.

“What if I’m not ready?” You took a deep breath. “To be a mom- I mean?”

“I’m sure you’ll be ready. You can have lots of practice with my little one when he or she gets here, plus you’re dating a guy who already has three kids of his own. He knows a thing or two about taking care of newborns and I’m sure he’ll teach you all of his tricks. Plus all of your friends are mothers. And you take care of young children for a living. You went to school for taking care of kids, Y/N. Nobody loves little babies more than you do. If anyone’s ready to be a mom… It’s you.” She said confidently.

“Well… Thanks.” You smiled.

You and Lacee went to the cash register and paid for your things.

“Are you hungry? Or will I just drop you off at your house. We’ve probably got enough time before I have to go to the airport with Jared.”

“You can just drop me home, I’m not all that hungry. And by the looks of things… You aren’t either.”

“Yeah… I’m not much of a big eater after I got pregnant. Baby Padalecki doesn’t let me keep anything down.” You sighed, unloading all your bags into the truck of your SUV.

You hadn’t yet announced your pregnancy to Jared’s fans, you were waiting to tell Tom, Shep, Odette and Genevieve. After dropping Lacee off at her house and making sure she made it in okay, you rushed back to yours and Jared’s house, picking him up so the two of you could both go to the airport. You were curled up in an uncomfy airport seat when you heard the pitter patter of little feet and the familiar voices calling out “Daddy! Y/N!”

“Hi boys.” Jared smiled, pulling both of them into his arms and gave them a big hug.

Odette grunted and pushed away from Genevieve, wanting to get in on the action. You bent down, resting one knee against the floor as Odette waddled over and climbed into your arms. You pressed a kiss against her forehead and held her closer.

“Y/N missed you so much, sweetheart.” You whispered, brushing her growing hair back out of her face.

“Mom mom mom.” She cooed and clapped her hands together.

“I’m not mom mom mom.” You imitated her. “There’s mom mom mom.”

You pointed to Genevieve and smiled up at her. Genevieve gave you a tiny, shy smile back as she opened her mouth to speak.

“I’ve been trying to teach her to say Y/N but it’s no use. She refers to you as mom. I don’t mind though.” Gen shrugged. “You technically are their mom too.”

“It means a lot to me that you’re willing to let them call me mom.” You said timidly.

“Hey, um, speaking about calling Y/N, mom… We… are going to have our own little one to call her mommy.” Jared piped up.

“Oh, no way!” Gen smiled. “Congratulations. I’m happy for you guys.”

There was almost a shred of sadness in her voice and in her smile. You hated the fact that Gen was probably still in love with Jared. But after he moved on too quickly, she never really got the chance to tell him how she really felt. You never hated Gen for that, you just felt bad that she was unhappy. You looked up to Gen and you wanted nothing more than to be her friend!

“Wait… Daddy? What does that mean?” Thomas asked, his voice scratchy.

“It means that Y/N is pregnant, dude.” Jared chuckled. “You’re going to be a big brother again.”

Both Shep and Tom were really excited, whereas Odette was too little to know what being pregnant was.

“Hey, I hope you don’t mind, but… I need a place to stay for a couple of days my flight doesn’t go out until the fifteenth.” Gen inquired.

You and Jared exchanged glances, “of course we don’t mind.”

Always reminded about the fact that Genevieve kissed your boyfriend, you decided it was better to just push it deep down and forget that even happened. You scooped Odette up into your arms and held onto Shep’s hand while Jared and Gen grabbed all of her and the kid’s luggage. Later on that night, after getting the kids and their mom all settled in, the three children called their grandparents on facetime, Gen’s parents were more than happy to see their grandbabies! But then, Gen’s mom, Camille, mentioned something that was a little bit confusing to both you and Jared. Jared pulled Gen out of the room and you followed, leaving the kids to play and talk to their nanny and poppy.

“What did your mom mean when she said she hadn’t seen the kids since New Year’s?” Jared asked seriously.

“What? Jared, it’s mom being funny with the kids!” Gen kept her voice low and hushed.

“Genevieve, do I look like I’m stupid, your mom was being serious. What did you do with the whole extra month that you had with the kids. Where did you go?” Jared grumbled, also trying to stay quiet.

“I was in Austin. I wanted the kids to meet my new boyfriend.” She said shyly.

“When were you planning on telling us about him?”

“When were you planning on telling me that you were having another baby?” She retorted. “You’ve known since Christmas.”

“I never even got to meet this guy before you brought our kids around him.”

“Why does it matter, Jared? He’s my boyfriend… not yours and I can do whatever I want with our kids around him.” She grumbled, mostly sounding unsure of herself.

There was always a fire in Genevieve. If anyone ever said or done something that she didn’t agree with? You best be sure Gen’ll have something to say about it. She wasn’t an unreasonable person, but she stuck up for her beliefs. Nonetheless, to see the look in her eyes… you knew something was wrong.

“You met Y/N before I had her around the kids,” Jared argued.

“She was supposed to only be working for you, Jared. She wasn’t supposed to be something you could- could screw and-and make out with all the fucking time! She was hired to look after our kids, but nevertheless, you made a girlfriend out of her.”

“Y/N isn’t just something I wanted to screw and make out with all the time, Gen, I love her. I love her more than you’ll ever know. She still looks after our kids just fine.”

Even in a fight, you were glad that Gen and Jared never referred to the kids as just one single parent’s kids. You hated that the two were fighting, however. You knew there was something off with Gen and you figured that her ex-husband yelling at her didn’t help her much. You tried to think of different things that you could say, to get Gen alone and talk to her privately. Before you even got any of the words out, Gen had burst out in tears after Jared drilled her with questions. Jared immediately backed off, afraid that all of the things he was saying to her was upsetting her. Absentmindedly, Genevieve wiped her tears off her cheeks. The combined water and swiping motion of Gen’s hands against her cheek revealed things you were sure Genevieve wasn’t ready to talk about. You let out a gasp and took at step closer to her.

“Oh my god.” Jared muttered.

“W-what?” Gen sniffed, wiping her tears away again.

Immediately, your mind jumped to the new boyfriend that Gen has.

“What’s this guy’s name?” Jared clenched his jaw.

“What? Jared, what guy? My boyfriend? Derek Hanigan.” Genevieve sniffed again.

“You may be my ex wife and we may not see eye to eye, but nobody lays a hand on you, Gen. You hear?” Jared said sternly.

“I- I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Genevieve shook her head and brushed all her hair back out of her face.

“You just wiped off all your makeup, Gen.” You started to cry as well, keeping your voice down. “Oh my god, Gen, he hit you.”

“No-no.” She exclaimed. “He would never do that!”

“Then explain the black eye and bruised cheeks, Gen. I know it wasn’t your stepdad. I’ve met him, he would never hurt you. It sure as hell wasn't me or Jensen. So who the hell else was it, if it wasn’t him?” Jared exploded.

“Jared.” You warned. “Follow me, Gen… let’s clean you up. Jared, please head back in there with the kids. Don’t say anything to Gen’s parents until she’s ready to tell them.”

“I won’t, I won’t.” Jared promised.

You brought Gen up to your bedroom and grabbed some of your makeup remover. You sat Gen down on the edge of your bed and cleaned all the makeup off her face revealing another black eye and more bruises.

“Happy Valentine’s Day to you, huh?” You sighed.

“Yeah.” She sniffed. “How did I get myself into this mess? Gosh, I’m sorry, Y/N. Tomorrow is Valentine’s! I’m sure you and Jared had plans Now my sorry ass is here… ruining them.”

“Look, I don’t know about Jared…? But I don’t mind your sorry ass being here. At least you’re not in Austin where your supposed boyfriend is. You don’t have to be sorry.” You concentrated on carefully wiping Genevieve’s cheeks. “You weren’t crashing any plans.”

After convincing Genevieve to stay, you finally got around to making Jared’s Valentine’s Day gift. Odette sat in your lap, watching intently as you wrote. On the swedish fish, you taped a colorful piece of paper which said “You O-Fish-Ally have my heart”. On the package of mints, you stuck another piece of colorful paper with the words “You and Me are Mint to Be!”. You stuck the words “I Love you Beary Much” on the package of gummy bears, and last, but not least, “You’ll Always Be My Sweetheart” was taped to the Sweetarts bag. You pressed a kiss against Odette’s head and sat her on your hip as you headed over to your closet.

“Y/N got you and your brother’s something for Valentine’s Day” You cooed.

The little girl clapped her hands together, “Ma Ma.”

“Yeah, sure, baby.” You smiled.

It still felt unreal that soon, you would have your own, biological kid that would call you ma ma. You reached down and grabbed three little teddy bears, of all different colors and gave the pink one to Odette. There was one pink, one red and one white, each had a heart in the center of it, which said “Happy Valentine’s Day 2018.” Odette grabbed the bear by it’s leg and giggled as she flung it around.

“Let’s go give these to your brothers, huh?” You laughed.

You headed down over the stairs finding, Tom and Shep playing on the floor, whereas Jared and Gen were sitting on the couch talking.

“Here you are, boys! This is from Y/N and Daddy.” You explained, handing Thomas the white one and Shepherd the red one.

“Oh wow! Thanks, Y/N n’ daddy.” Thomas smiled, giving the bear a big squeeze.

You sat on the couch between the two ex-lovers and planted a kiss on Jared’s cheek, “I have your gift upstairs.”

“Ooooh.” Jared grinned cockily and jerked his eyebrows up and down.

“It’s not like that, idiot.” You teased him. “Gen, do you wanna run out to the store with me and pick something up?”

“No. I don’t need anything.” Gen refused.

“I think you do need something.” You grinned, “come on, I’ll get you something for this day of loooooveeee”

“Alright.” She reluctantly agreed. “Let’s go to the store.”

You smiled and set Odette in Jared’s laps.

“Bye, Baby. I’m going to get your ex-wife a Valentine’s Day gift” You teased him, giggling when he nodded his head in agreement.

You danced out to the kitchen and slipped on your shoes, “I think we all need to feel a little love on this day.”

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[rfsak2]

Cactus, Part XVIII

This is a bit shorter than I’ve been recently aiming for, but I couldn’t think of anything I really wanted to add. Hope you like! Leave me a line!

Cactus, Part XVIII Summary: The Fam. The Styles Warning: Marital sexiness… nothing major as per usual.

“Good morning, gorgeous husband.”

Harry rubbed at his eyes with his free hand and blinked up at her from the couch, Food Network played softly in the background. He smiled sleepily, his other hand gentle on Evie’s tiny back. “Didn’t want to wake yeh, love.”

“You didn’t.” She smiled and leaned over the back of the couch to kiss him. “I woke up all by myself for the first time in three weeks. Thank you.”

He grinned. “Fed her…” He glanced at the clock. “Two hours ago with what yeh pumped last night.”

She nodded and kissed him again before kissing the back of Evie’s head. She walked around the couch and tapped his legs. When she had settled, she pulled his legs over her lap and opened up the camera on her phone.

Harry had turned back to the TV, his thumb still absently rubbing between Evie’s shoulder blades, massive hand dwarfing their daughter.

She snuck a photo, one that hid her daughter well only her pink onesie and her tiny socked feet visible under Harry’s hand, and posted it to Instagram.

Just something about a big man cuddling with a tiny baby that tugs at my heartstrings. Might be that she’s my tiny baby and he’s my big man. #inlove #miesposo #family @harrystyles

They sat in comfortable silence, watching Celebrity Chef#3 make some random cocktail they were never going to make.

Evie woke up fussy, something that Harry never failed to point out was just like her mother, and Harry sat up to pass her over to Jamie.

“¿Tienes hambre, chiquita?” Jamie made a funny face as her sleepy, grumpy baby frowned mightily up at her, on the verge of melt-down. “Mumma will sort that, won’t she?”

Harry leaned against her, one hand coming rub against the wispy blonde hair that covered Evie’s head- look, she’s blonde!

She hadn’t had the heart to tell him that he had been blonde when he had been a baby. Or that it was very unlikely that Evie’s hair would be as blonde as hers, if she was blonde at all.

He pressed a kiss to her shoulder as Evie started to nurse. “I’m jealous that yeh get this.”

She hummed and smiled. “It’s an odd sensation. Physically it’s not very comfortable, emotionally it is easily the coolest thing I’ve ever done. But I wouldn’t worry. She’s gonna be a daddy’s girl, I can already tell.”

He sat up to kiss her deeply, finger winding through the tangled hair at the back of her head. He smiled against her lips. “ I love yeh.”

“I love you too, baby.”

“Thank you for this.” He shrugged. “I know you think it’s silly-”

She shook her head. “Not silly. I love you with everythin’ I am, Harry Edward Styles. I’ve wanted to have your babies since before we got married, because I knew that you’d be an absolutely stellar father.” She shrugged and paused to switch Evie over to the other side and then smiled back up at him. “I was just worried because of all my family bull-shit-”

“That woman wasn’t your family.” Harry leaned forward until their forehead connected, Evie content between them

She nodded. “I know, I know. Still it worried me though and when I realized that you were going to be patient, that you were willing to wait for this one thing you always wanted, I only wanted to give you children more.”

He grinned and kissed her again. “I only ever wanted children with yeh, yeh know that right? I love kids and always like the idea of havin’ me own, but I didn’t actively want them until I met and fell in love with yeh.” He shrugged.

“Wasn’t until I saw yeh with your family that I could imagine our little brood wanderin’ around LA and causin’ havoc in grocery shops. In SA with their fifty cousins, running down to the shop yer mum gets tortillas from when she doesn’t have time to make enough for the whole family, havin’ all the little abuelas comin’ over to coo at how cute our kids are. Wasn’t until yeh that I ever really wanted that.”

She kissed him and he smiled. “So thank yeh. I love yeh.”

“Thank you and I love you back.”

When Evie had had her fill, pulling away from her nipple with a satisfied sigh, Jamie passed her over to Harry and adjusted her cami.

Harry thumbed briefly at Evie’s cheek, admiring the dimple whose twin resided alongside his own smile. Evie yawned, bringing balled fists to her mouth as Harry lifted her onto his shoulder and patted gently at her back until she burped.

“That was a good burp, poppet. Wasn’t it, Mumma?” Harry grinned at her and she rolled her eyes.

“It was, Daddy.”

Laying her in the crook of his arm, Harry smiled down at her.

“Isn’t she lovely…

Isn’t she wonderful…”

**

She set Evie down gently in her rocker and and set it to sway the swaddled baby gently. Checking the baby monitor, she backed out quietly and cracked the door. She retraced her steps and found Harry digging through the fridge.

She waited until he stood and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing a kiss to the nape of his neck.

“She ‘sleep?”

She nodded, face still pressed between his shoulder blades.

“Startin’ to sleep longer and longer.”

“Growin’ too fast.” She grinned against his t-shirt. “Want her to stay tiny and cute forever.”

He grinned and turned in her arms and, lifting her chin, pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “She will. She’s gonna be just like her mother, tiny and cute for the rest of her life.”

Jamie snorted. “Wanna have sex?”

He grinned slowly and leaned down for another more lingering kiss. “How’re yeh feelin’, love?”

“Like I wanna have sex with my husband.” She pressed a kiss to his chin and then another one to the corner of his mouth. “Been hot for you since you came home from your run.”

He grinned and pressed her back against the counter. “Thought yeh were ‘sleep.”

“I was awake enough to see you step into the shower. Saw you step outta those shorts. You’ve gotta nice ass, baby.” She mouthed at his jaw, grinning when he groaned, and groped at his ass

“Cheeky.” She giggled against his skin and he leaned down for another kiss. “Yer sure though? Not sore a’tall, love?”

She shook her head. “Nope. Not a’tall.”

Harry pressed his hips gently against hers. “Not tryin’ to be funny, monster, but I’m not a small man. Don’t wanna hurt yeh.”

“Won’t.” She stretched up for a deeper kiss, sucking his tongue into her mouth. “I need ya, baby. Been six weeks. Hell, longer than that since I’ve been able to be this close to ya. Besides you gotta be sick of nothin’ but blowies and handjobs too.”

“Yeh underestimate how good yeh are at blowies.” He nipped at her lip. “Yeh are very good.”

She working at his belt, smiling as he gasped into her mouth. “Well… despite how good you are at oral, I need ya inside of me, baby please.”

She slipped her hand into his jeans and squeezed him gently. Breathing hot and open-mouthed against her cheekbone, he nodded. “Bed?”

She shook her head. “Need ya now. We can do soft and intimate tonight.”

He kissed her and started leading her back to the living room. “Tonight? Gone zero to sixty, yeah? No sex to multiple rounds, eh?”

“Been six weeks.” She shrugged and, hand on his shoulders, pressed him gently to sit down. He set his hands on her hips and pulled her to him. Hands rubbing down her thighs as she straddled his lap, he sighed and arched up into her. “Missed you. Need to be close to you.”

“I’ve missed yeh too, monster. Missed havin’ yeh clenching ‘round me.” He smirked up at her and smoothed his hands back to squeeze her ass.

She gasped and leaned forward to kiss him, rocking against him roughly.

Harry worked at the button on her jeans and smiled. “Ye’ll tell me if I hurt yeh, yeah?”

**

Jamie slipped on her sunglasses and started digging around her oversized tote-turned diaper bag. Pulling out a pair of baby sunglasses, she turned to Harry. “Where’s Evie?”

He shrugged, grinning. “Musta left her in the car, love.” She pinched his side and he giggled. “Mitch has her, monster.”

She pinched him again for good measure and looked around for Mitch. She saw him standing a couple stalls down, looking at a guitar vendor.

She snickered. “One, figures he’d find the guitars as quickly as possible.”

Harry threaded his fingers through hers. “And two?”

“Now I’m imagining you teaching him how to tie a Boba wrap.”

Harry shrugged. “Jus’ tied it for him, love. Easier.”

Jamie snickered again. “That visual is even better. Mitch musta loved it.”

Harry leaned over to kiss her and the couple looked up to see Mitch staring at them. “What?”

“Good look for ya.” She held out the baby sunglasses. “It’s bright. In case you need them.”

Mitch smiled, smoothing a hand over Evie’s back and tucked the sunglasses into the wrap. “This thing’s actually great.”

Jamie nodded. “Did they have anythin’ good?” She motioned back at the guitar shop.

“Not really. Nothin’ too old or interestin’.”

“C’mon, monster.” Harry tugged her down the row of stalls to follow her family and the boys.

Espy tucked her hand in Harry’s and smiled, watching Bear streak past, Theo hot on his heels. Esteban came up on Jamie’s free side, almost as tall as Jamie and lanky, wrapped his arm over his shoulder.

“Titi! They’re playin’ Smooth!”

“Doin’ a good job?”

Esteban made a so-so motion. “He’s playin’ a simpler version of the solo.”

Jamie wrapped an arm around the boy’s shoulder. “Well there ya go, guapo. You still think you’re learning too slow? You can play the full solo.”

He glowed from the praise and nodded.

Mitch whistled. “He can play Smooth?”

“Yeah, he apparently has been practicin’ since my mom told him we were coming to visit. He’s really good.”

Harry smiled. “Gonna follow his aunt into the music business.”

They approached the pavilion where the band and majority of the food vendors were set up and nabbed a couple tables.

Harry kissed her cheek. “Want somethin’ to eat, love?”

“Yes please.”

“What d’yeh want?” Harry looked over his shoulder. “I think the options are Bar-B-Q and Mexican.”

“Surprise me.”

“I think it’s Uncle Ni’s turn, Mitchy.”

“You’ll have to fight me for her, Nialler.”

She grinned at turned to the bickering men. “Actually I promised Sophia that she could hold Evie after I fed her.”

Niall chuckled. “After lunch, then?”

Jamie shrugged. “That’s all up to you two. You grown. You can fight it out.” Evie started fussing and Jamie motioned for her. “Gotta love a baby on schedule. Ain’t that right, m’hija?” Mitch passed her over and Jamie pulled a nursing blanket from her bag.

By the time Harry returned with their food, Evie had fed and was seconds from falling asleep in Sophia’s arms.

Setting the food down on the table, Harry leaned in for a kiss.

**

“I’m just saying.” Jamie made a face and Cheryl shrieked.

All three other women jumped, Eleanor’s hand jumping dramatically to her chest.

“Glory, woman!” Mitzi, Niall’s wife, huffed. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“That was a Harry face.” Cheryl pointed at Jamie, giggling. “You made a Harry face.”

Jamie sipped at her water, waiting for her cue to hit the stage. “What?”

“A Harry face.”

“What?”

She shrieked again. “You are turning into Harry!”

Jamie grinned. “Says the pot to the kettle. You look like Liam right now. You’re smiling so wide, I’m not sure you can see.”

Cheryl flicked her off and Jamie sipped her water again.

“Jamie, band’s goin’.”

She nodded and silenced her phone, keeping it in her pocket in case Anne needed something. “Okay, girls see you after the show.”

“Break a leg.”

She threw up a peace sign before following Mitch, Josh and Sandy out to the stage.

Later after the show, she yawned and leaned against Harry as he led her off stage. “Tired, monster?”

“Are you not?”

He pressed a kiss to her hair. “I’m utterly knackered, love.”

“It gets easier.” Liam chuckled and wrapped his arm around Harry on his free side. “Is Little Evie-Stevie sleeping through the night yet?”

Jamie smiled. “Almost. We’re up to five hours in a stretch now. But it’s still a bit difficult to get her to fall back to sleep after she feeds. Or rather: it’s hard for me to get her to fall back asleep. Harry is apparently the preferred parent. She passes out the minute she’s settled in her daddy’s arms.”

Harry grinned, proud. “Not quite-”

“But close.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek.

“Jamie, can I ask you something?” Cheryl stretched up to kiss Liam and then leaned around his body.

Jamie nodded and detangled herself from Harry’s arm. When neither man seemed inclined to move, she shooed them off. She turned back to Cheryl when they disappeared into the green room. “What’s up?”

“So… We’re good at imitating our significant others.” Jamie nodded and Cheryl smiled. “What would you say to maybe… making one of the boys’ older music videos over, with us pretending to be them.”

“That is hysterical-”

“What’s hysterical, love?”

“Shoo! 1DSOs only.” Jamie started pushing Harry towards the green room again, well aware that if he chose to he could easily plant his feet and go nowhere.

He grinned down at her, “1DSOs?”

Jamie sighed like he was being purposefully obtuse. “One Direction Significant Others. Duh. It’s what the internet calls us. Now go. Don’t open the door-”

“Or you shall be cross.”

“Very. Now go.” She leaned up to peck him on the lips and closed the door behind her. “You were saying?”

Cheryl laughed. “We were thinking of doing Perfect. It’ll be the simplest.”

Jamie smiled slowly. “Oh, that sounds magnificent. I’ll talk to Jeff and see if there are any legal issues, but I’m in.”

“Of course, the lads can’t know…”

“Oh, of course.”

**

“We have exactly two days to do this.” Mitzi flipped through her color-coded planner. “The boys will be in New York and it should be relatively easy to work while they’re busy with promo and such. We can stash anything we need at my atelier.”

Smiling down at Evie in her lap, Jamie ticked the three-month-old’s belly. “Jeffrey said there aren’t any legal issues to worry about and he thinks he can rent out they space they used for the original shoot.”

Eleanor nodded. “Don’t know bout Cheryl but I can be in New York.”

“Me too.”

Leaning over to blow a raspberry on Evie’s stomach through her ‘Mommy and Daddy are Rockstars’ onesie, Jamie added, “SNL said they can get it edited in a day so they can have it ready for the boys episode that weekend.”

Mitzi nodded. “Do you think we can get a wardrobe together in a week?”

Eleanor shrugged. “I’ve got just about everything I’d need.”

“Me too.”

Mitzi considered that. “I actually might too. I have a couple of short-sleeved button-ups in fun patterns… I think.”

They all turned to Jamie, who shrugged. “It can be done. If it looks like it will be hard to find the right shirts, I can see if Lou will help.”

“Or just wear Harry’s clothes.”

Jamie made a face. “Too big. I’ll be swimming.”

“Maybe that would be funny though…”

Considering that, Jamie grabbed her phone. “I’ll see if Dante can run by the house. I don’t even know if they’re still in his closet, I’ll check his closet here when we get home. I’ll take care of it.”

“Then let’s do this.” Cheryl grinned. “This is going to be a blast!”

“It’s gonna be Perfect.”

They all groaned at Jamie’s wide smile and Eleanor rolled her eyes. “You are so much like Harry now it’s not funny.”

“I disagree.” Jamie rubbed her thumbs along the bottoms of Evie’s feet. “I think your Daddy is very funny. Don’t you Evangeline?” She made a face down at her daughter. “Are we like goin’ whole hog? Like drag, drawn on beards and all, or just dressing like them and imitating them?”

The other girls considered that, finally Cheryl spoke up. “I think just dressing like them, yeah? I think it’ll be funnier. Right?”

“It’s bound to be hilarious regardless, but it does mean less work.” Eleanor nodded. “I’m all for not scrubbing a beard off my face.”

“It’s agre-”

“Hello, 1DSOs!!” Harry threw his arms open as her pushed through the door, revealing his exhausted band-mates. Each man dropped next to their respective SOs and favored them with hello kisses.

Pulling away from Jamie, Harry pressed kiss to her forehead before leaning down to pressed a gentle kiss to his daughter’s forehead. “Hello my girls…” He gathered Evie against his chest and dropped another kiss on the cooing baby’s cheek. “Hello Evie-love. Have you been good for mumma?”

She gurgled and wrapped her tiny hand around her father’s giant finger.

“An actual angel as usual.” Jamie leaned against Harry’s shoulder and made faces down at Evie. “Is it Daddy, Evie Stevie?” Evie smiled a dimpled smile, trying to bring her father’s finger to her mouth. “It is! It is Daddy!”

**

They waited in their designated seats until the laughter from the first gag died down, Jamie standing on a crate so she could casually reach as high on the window as Harry, before they moved over to where their significant others were sat for the opening skit they thought they were going to do.

Jamie sat gingerly in Harry’s lap, who was still gaping at the screen. He sputtered out a shocked laugh as screen-Jamie tore the sheets off the hotel bed, they had drawn his laurel tattoos on her lower belly.

Niall lost it, his laughter clearly heard over the music, when Mitzi pretended to play the guitar badly and completely missed the cup she was putting into. Liam started giggling when Cheryl, complete with her own drawn on tattoos, blue-steel-ed everytime the camera was on her and winced every time the Sharpie made contact with her skin.

When Eleanor fell trying to bici-kick a football and then both Eleanor and Cheryl fell trying to push over the luggage cart, the crowd lost their minds. Jamie swore she hear Eleanor mutter something like ‘they’re heavier than they look’ at Louis, who had buried his face in her shoulder.

Just before the screen went black, all four women turned to the camera and smiled. “Live from New York: it’s Saturday Night!”

Niall wiped at his face. “Oh tha’s th’best t’ing I’ve eva seen.”

Part XVII Up Next: A Conversation

[taiey]

The continuing adventures of “taiey writes liveblogs that probably only make sense with a transcript of the movie to line it up with”.

no peter please don't go after him

he really does get the most dramatic lines—ooh, green reflection in the window!

wow, that's. She really does ask for validation a lot of times

:((( this whole goblin kit thing is really elaborate? like, i thought you would've failed science. there is mechanical engineering. and chemical. for bombs.

That's a really, really stable spider web that is also flexible enough to support them without clinging, at that angle

[obligatory evil meteor mention]

Surprisingly evil-looking mail delivery guy! Uuunless you're her dad and you live here or. Oh, okay.

Oh, May.

But, like, no pressure or anything.

!!! her ring.

ahh evil evil scooter. of evil.

Harry this is not a good way to have an honest conversation. Stop punching your friend. No, I don't care that you're in costume, he's not, that makes it—DON'T STAB HIM!

I guess by the time your friend is yelling at you about his father, while wearing his green goblin costume and standing on his green goblin scooty-fly, it is acceptable to tell your friend his father was the green goblin, despite said father's dying request.

Dude! Attempts at vengeance on your best friend for murder of your father are NOT an excuse for massive property damage! I hope you pay for the repairs OH AND ALSO did no one get hurt by that massive shower of bricks onto a busy street??

"I'm still here! And now I have a lightsaber!"

oh no what if your new superpowers don't cover falling from heights? (I'm sure they do, I know he dies at the end of the movie.)

I wonder, again, if Peter took him out of the goblin costume first. like. awkward.

Wait, what? I thought when that guy jumped/fell out a window he died.

There's marshland in New York? With a terribly ill-secured particle physics laboratory?

OH MY GOODNESS YOU GUYS, YOU'RE TERRIBLE! you can't even check how much mass is in the reactor? How many birds with superpowers does New York have now?

Also awkward: imagine if those cops had gotten there slightly differently and fallen into the spinny thing toooo...

Go. See. Him. and hope maybe he doesn't remember you're spiderman if he doesn't remember you saved his liiiffffe  (oh, good.)

Hey, Peter, you maybe want to. idk. Tell MJ. Some relevant facts, about her friends and his father and.

yikes that's some horrifying sand movement. like. yeeesh no.

Oh... your hand cannot pick up your daughter's locket. :( —yes! go hand, reformed hand! Woohoo! :D

Hey, nice green-ing, sand. Good job. Stripy and everything.

Yeah dude no. Don't start talking about spidey now. The other stuff was kinda okay but not, well.

Okay so when there's a large metal beam swinging about nearby your window... maybe... not? with the walking towards it?

Man, what is wrong with this crane?

you did not pick a good guy to insult peter parker to, whatsyaname. eddy. Ed. idk.

“YOU TELL MY WIFE thank you.” heh. Slight, teeny, tiny, character development, I love.

He didn't see you there, I didn't see you with a camera. Where'd you get the camera from, Pete?

Ed. Shut up. He's paying you $50 for a front page shot, he does not value anything about you.

Like, that could be a conflict for Peter, ���i could stage that and get a steady job’ buut I already know the plot of this movie and can kinda guess how Edward gets that shot.

That is an excellent Stan Lee cameo.

...how much... exactly... has harry lost of his memory... if he doesn't know he has money...

SUPER EVIL REFLEXES!!

...oh, Mary Jane.

...oh no don't you be jealous.

This'd be a really awkward parade thing if he decided to not in faaact show up oh no. Oh, no. Oh, man.

Wow, that sure is a conveniently placed "Sand & Stone" truck. Where'd you get that shovel?

Wow, bullets work surprisingly well considering he's made. of sand.

[obligatory note of happiness about the MJ&Harry bit. and. honesty.]

dude put yer mask back on

ehhhh look the thing about the humble never-asks-to-be-thanked thing is that it doesn't work when. this.

Oh my goodness he asks her? He suggests it?? Peter, no!

"No, Spider Man, no!" I relate to this kid.

like, i've seen gifs ofit, that shekissed him but i did not realise he aSKS HER TO

Yeah, same, Mary Jane!

haha but maybe this time mary jane won't be kidnapped

The sand is now driving a truck. Poorly.

Yeeeesh no, stop, no, ~sheriff~? You’re not.

tbh what if you just. Let him take the money. So much property damage going on here. So very much.

WHAT IF YOU DIDN'T KISS SOMEONE. WHILE PREPARING TO PROPOSE TO SOMEONE ELSE. WHAT. IF.

This guy... is gonna end up bringing you that ring at the worst possible moment during your inevitable argument. Isn't he. Isn't he, Peter.

You could also try telling him you got fired, MJ. He knows that feeling! Kind of.

...not that you should say that, Peter. 'cause it's kind of only kinda.

how have you not noticed how terribly your spider man/actress analogies go over. every single time.

Like in a literary sense it's kinda cool, there are parallels between their experiences, kinda... BUT NOT RIGHT nooow

shhuuuttt uppp (this is all like 5 seconds, i just keep. pausing.)

Hey, what could make Mary Jane feel worse right now? ENTER GWEN STACY.

ENTER GWEN STACY TALKING ABOUT HOW SHE KISSED SPIDERMAN

“Who kisses Spiderman?? :D” "Me. Most days. When I'm not mad at him for beiNG TERRIBLE."

I. I'm not sure. like. what the point of that question is. There is no good answer.

No. He did not, MJ. He had idea how it would make you feel, because BOY I DUNNO.

um. usher guy. no. SHE JUST LEFT, WHY WOULD YOU SEND THE CHAMpagne in anyway, whyy

Beep!

Oh, hey! I was right! That other guy did die, probably ...aand it wasn't your fault. technically.

We chased down the wrong guy?

Pfff.

Yeah so I think so far he really hasn't killed anyone. Not counting Norman or Ock on technicalities.

Does he feel guilty? About you or about... okay, don't say "I don't need you" to Mary Jane Watson. That's a bad idea.

The evil ooze has been hanging out in your bedroom for ?? weeks and it's only now that it attacks you? infects. thing.

"Hey, this was a lot quicker than last time I made a new costume."

Spiderman is just, like, an accepted traffic hazard by now, right?

Oh, I'm so glad he's being suspicious of the black goop.

...you're not a biologist, but you can recognise a symbiote on a molecular level in minutes when it's AN ALIEN.

dude please realise you look super evil now. even to —haha like you shouldn't smash people's cameras but also haha

"Little did Spiderman know, I have TWO cameras!"

OK I'll admit the black is legitimately good for hiding on dark ceilings

TRAIN ASSISTED WEB KICK!

oh gosh the body horror from this sand thing—hope that pipe wasn't important--ooh, water works.

...also hope this large tank of pressurised water isn't important and won't flood annnything else.

EVIL HAIR-PULLING-DOWN

...that's... kinda a valid point? but. I mean sure, he should fix the door, probably, just not being polite

Hey, Peter, you made a good decision! Nice! AND STAY OFF.

Aunt May isn't having any of this "murder can be good" stuff.

revenge == the symbiote ??

Waitress/Singer is a job? ...also maybe you should tell your boyfriend about thi—Harry paints? Cool!

(Does Harry know that MJ's dating Peter?)

Yell at people and they offer you oranges?

Hee Ursula! :D

He also cooks! And they dance!

M. J. Do not. Noooooo whyy

oh no. noo. different no. :((( no. Please, Harry. Keep your eyes off 'the ball' and ahhh—hey, there's that scene that wasn't in the VHS version.

Harry?? This is like 20% of the reason you wear a mask, dude!

whiiiplaaash oh my goodness ahh poor Mary Jane.

:((( see this is the kind of quality anguish you can get when you don't just discriminately kidnap, other supervillains take note

pete. pete. pe ter par ker. "I'm breaking up with you" is not. in fact. a good segue to "Let's get married"

Took them three movies but they finally made acting plot relevant. It's not! that hard!

AND THEN. YOU GO BACK TO PETER. AND PRETEND TO BE HIS AMNESIAC BEST FRIEND oh my goodness and then you use her omitive lie about the shoW AND THEN WE GO FULL SM1

“but. but she broke up with *you*, because she was in love with *me*. !!”

what. Why are. you winking?

Bright green coffee sign!

nooo. emotional anguish---->TERRIBLE LIFE CHOICES

Right, Harry, overall—because I mean high marks for ingenuity and not-kidnapping, but—you're really lacking on the follow through here, like for keeping up the act. And wow that is a lot alcohol in front of you.

Harry please notice the ominous black spidey suit. Please. Soon.

harry im not sure you've noticed but you have blades. on. ur arm.

Takes symbiote!Pete to point out the obvious: that Norman.didn't.deserve you.

Kinda funny how after all that the picture in question is not, in fact, of Peter actually doing anything wrong.

OH MY GOODNESS, IT'S PHOTOSHOPPED? IT'S not even actually symby-spidey?

Yeah, no, Ed. I can forgive a lot of things. But reposts with the watermarks edited out? Not that.

hahahah

Symby-Pete likes Ursula's food?   . . .ah

*hair flick*

water doesn't kill him forever. :o

OH MAN PETER NO.

symbiote-Pete spends money recklessly.

Oh man, Gwen is so nice.

...alien meteor ooze teaches you to play jazz piano? ...and dance?

blonde hair and the black headband and their clothes and his hair and her earrings... it's a Look.

GWEN STACY IS SO NICE! ("That was all for her? I'm so sorry.")

NO.

get. out.

geddoouutt

"Who are you?" "Well, Mary Jane, I reckon I'm the exact feeling of a church spire silhouetted against the storm clouds, as lightning crashes in the background."

okay so eddy, brocky, rock boy. don't pray to God to kill people. Don't... don't do that.

How. Exactly. Do you recognise the face of a guy you barely know, four floors up, while he's tearing an alien ooze suit off his skin.

oh no his hair's still black

Continuing adventures of That Awful Door.

I hope Aunt May knows he's Spider man, because otherwise there is just waaay too much backstory to explain here.

I think she also wants him to keep the ring so she doesn't have to wear it.

“Spiderman... didn't have those teeth last time... right?”

Maybe not? with the watching her through her window? Also considering last time your saw her in person you hit her maybe not do that first part in person, perhaps.

"On Broad-way."

...you also locked the normal one away? Or, no, that was earlier this night. You just were using the evil one, and stowed that away. ok. gotcha.

Harry! Harry, you could do. a good. ...oh no. peter don't come also what happened to his face??

:(((

OH MAN. BERNARD! i don't think this is gonna work. but. thank you. for. saying that. [it worked!:D]

what happened to your face do you still have superpowers if you're not healing.

It's the real spiderman! He stopped in front of an american flag for a sec!

this reporter overuses the word 'seemed'

Brick!

you're stiiilll fallling

Listen MJ most of the webbing is really strong, you can actually move along it and even if you fall through one level you've got a decent chance of catching the next.

this reporter is so alarmist. and that one.

Goblin bomb!

"I'm not here for you~"

Burn it & smash it! :D

That kid is awesome! ("Film's extra.")

or. you could. shoot web. and not. jump. And maybe get her down somehow? Ground level would be... safer... lotta floors, elevators proabably not working...

why did that work?

ohh. noise.

oh... kay...

[tragic backstories make everything better]

i f o r g i v e y o u .. ..

i like to think he becomes also a superhero. subtler. smaller. never quite noticed, but. bit by bit.

why in the world is gwen at harry's funeral

(mj you do in fact have a job. and. a song to finish singing. um. but anyway)

"Girl at the final battle" yes. Her. Excellent.

The credit songs this time are so... gentle...

(Balance of probabilities Harry died intestate but maybe he drew up a will at some point when he liked Peter and didn’t revoke it and then they can go help Marko’s daughter, perhaps? Maybe.)