#eh. its not going to change me
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I've had this conversation with friends before but it's always a topic I can't stop myself from returning to. Death of the author, the divide between OCs and mass-media characters, and how blurry it can get.
It's just amusing to me how there's an unspoken respect and boundary for an individual's OCs. How they have full control over the characterization and how they're depicted and if someone else came along, and proclaimed the OC was their little blorbo; characterizing them in a manner that no only diverged from that defined by their creator, but running in direct contrast to it. Quite often, they'd be regarded as a bit of an asshole at large. However, codify the setting a little, define some structure of a greater narrative, and you're not too far from your OC being free game.
It's easy to see when this starts being okay when you look at the extremes. Don't pull this shit with a random character from a person's sketchbook whom they've never shown to another soul. However, comic book characters dating all the way to the 1930s are so fair game that the creators are fucking dead and your reading is likely to be far from the worst interpretation that's ever occurred to them.
Yet, what sets apart free webcomics from an artist's sporadic doodles of hijinks starring their OC? Frequency? Amount of an overarching narrative? Whether or not they decided to properly host it on a dedicated comic site? Is the intent to "Publish" as a work of fiction merely enough?
With stories and media, the consequence of receiving counter interpretations of one's own characters is expected when you choose to publish. That with the enticement of people loving your work and characters comes the inevitability of others to tear it apart. To lose custody and control of it is the price that needs to be paid. It certainly can be easier when detractors become less than faces in the crowd, but it's certainly funny regardless just how large the gap on how treatment of a piece of fiction can be between "don't fuck with another person's OC" and "Tear that bitch apart" when it comes to fanworks.
#this is kind of why i dont really hold super tightly to fictional characters#i can be attached to them but im not the kind of person who places their own reading above the author's#if i dont like how a character is being used in their canon ill make my own inspired by them#so not can i throw out the shit i didnt like but no one can say im writing them wrong.#its easier imho#and pretty fun as well. as a consequence though my art blog is for all intents and purposes dead with interaction#because its hard to generate engagement when you're the only one with that blorbo#eh. its not going to change me
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posting without context but this took an embarrassingly long time and i got lazy with the bg because at the end of the day it’s all about the ocs baybee
#mostly rosie’s dress goes crazy for me#and the three wolf moon shirts#there are a couple things i would change now but eh moving on#actually i already moved on lmfao i finished this days ago#but i keep going back to look at it like 🤩 which is a nice feeling to have about ur own art#so im posting it even tho its random ocs nobody knows about#my art#berto
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hii how do you do that old effect on your art (the recent tenna pieces)
I use a photo filter app usually ! Its called Prequel , and it can have some cool free stuff but a lot of it is behind a paywall now 😔
I dont have photoshop or after effects so ive always tried to find other alternatives to cool easy to apply filters and this has been one of the best ive found! Theres still some cool free filters i like to use but the coolest ones are behind that paywall ofc 🙄 but i still think its worth checking out!
#it does have a free trial at least! but i think its only for 3 days#i did just cave to buy the pro membership stuff on prequel just bc ive been using it a lot lately#it says like $30-40 for a whole year but if you act like youre gonna buy it and then go back as if you changed your mind#it might come up with a thing offering you for $15 for a whole year membership thing which is what it did to me#so i was like eh yeah why not
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years ago i set this as my medication alarm sound to remind myself to take the antidepressants i was on back then, thinking it'd be funny. it was, but now that i'm finally starting a different set of antidepressants after being off them for a few years, i (respectfully) didn't want fukase swearing at me first thing in the morning 😅
so, since he does exist in my computer, i made this little simpler audio just for funsies, and figured i'd upload it here too bc why not 🤷♀️ i don't know if i'll actually end up using it myself but if anyone else wants fukase reminding them to take their meds for whatever reason, here you go lmao
and here's a bonus oliver version as well for those who are more oliver-based lol:
#my audio lol#vocaloid#vocaloid fukase#vocaloid oliver#no more tags bc im. scared#its been like a week since i started the new meds and i wasnt sure if i was gonna release this from my drafts but i figured eh fuck it#also update from the future: my oliver bias wins again bc thats the one i ended up using LMFAO sorry fukase#i still need to evaluate i think if these are actually helping though so in the event i do change again at some point ill use fuka's#maybe i shouldve added more silence towards the end as a buffer though because if i dont turn off my alarm soon enough#the audio gets stuck in a loop of repeating this over and over. and OK ENOUGH IM GONNA GO GET THEM NO NEED TO SHOUT AT ME 😭 lol
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tumblr is orchasting my downfall because it's not letting me update the audio on the sillies discography post im logging off forever day = ruined
#not that deep i like being dramatic#no soy nada sin hacerme la loca un ratito#anyway. they debuted with fromis' supersonic instead of cosmic ^_____^#that was going to be the sonic movie song but song is just too good to be just a collab i needed them to HAVE IT!#plus its not the vibes of the movie lawllllll#song came on shuffle. then looked thru their angel of the season project pinterest board. and i saw IT.#theres also the fact i didnt rlly like cosmic as one of their tts. same with lucky girl but eh.#maybe i will change lucky girl too idk too many red velvet songs in that disco#then again i dont rlly listen to kpop so thats why there is a lot of rv#this reminded me of the anon asking me if they were addition to a bg where would they go#and i scratched my head bc i dont listen to men. only exo sjnsnddkjnjdnjdnjdnjdnjd and nct#sorry that ive never replied anon let me. TRY.. to listen to more..... men........#oh im yapping my bad
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One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)
Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go
This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.
#rangnar rambles#i also use my tumblr drafts this way which is how i have probably 2000 drafts for this blog that are just? like me saving a post for 'later#and then theres too many in my drafts for me to even find *MY* drafts#i need to just hard reset the draft function bc its literally unusable for me#'matt this is all irrational and weird' by god. my irrational thoughts disorder makes me do weird shit? are you fr rn??? 😨😨#i get so stupidly in my own head and then i dont make progress towards Anything#even like a fun sideblog where i can actually yknow. post that 2k nightmare? i just cringe myself out like a dumbass 😔#i feel like ocd thoughts always sound lame out loud (and in my head to myself too)#like the Urgency doesnt come across#like in the moment i am Completely convinced that my national insurance number and bank deets are in there somewhere#and theres suddenly no way on earth i could ever find them again if i delete the picture. so to the hard drive they go#i Would go through that whole thing if i suddenly needed a screenshot from 2019 btw. like the crazy isnt theoretical#ive hallucinated gas leak smells before and woken up my flatmates bc i couldnt convince myself i was over reacting#its just cus the seasons have changed that everythings ramping up but omg its hard to do anything but spiral nowadays#thats a little dramatic but i am losing like. a quarter of the day to my ocd#its like. not great 😬#im not back to convincing myself i gave my dad cancer but i am not letting myself use half the kitchen again#but eh soo la voo we ball#HAH i checked my drafts after this and i was lowballing so hard#5.7k on this blog. 12k on my main 💀. its not funny but it kind of is#this is why youll never catch me running a queue#this is such a miserable post but i do feel the need to not let it sit in the drafts pile. to prove the point i guess 💀💀💀#'no one gives a shit this is your blog' 'oh my GOD WHAT IF PEOPLE GIVE A SHIT' <- omg shut upppp youre so embarassing 🙄#one more time for the gallery: i am like. aware that these feelings are irrational. like i am fine it just takes time for reality to kick in#ANYWAYS what was that who said that that was so weird im gonna go look at old romantic era paintings now#if tam is a screenshot fiend in the next fic u know what happened
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Had a dream last night I was dating Mr Wines but really shy about it. My boss (of a revolutionary group) was like. 'Hey did I see you get abducted by a giant bat last night' and i was like. 'Noooooo...... 🙂↔️'
But also Mr Wines was mean the entire time so I'm not sure it was "dating" so much as "periodically being abducted at random for the sake of being complained at"
#ive been having vivid dreams again which is always frightening#me irl a real anti parabola head#my deepest confession or w/e is that like three years ago i had a very long vivid dream of falling deeply in love with a space bat and.#woke up like. “gee i hope this doesn't change me” but it truly did. went from a devilkisser to a batkisser overnight#wasnt into fl as much back then either i just truly woke up altered to go “the ways of alien bats are beautiful ”#you know my wildest dream story is. okay its a long and short context needed. but i had a dream which#not dream technically.... vision. sleep paralysis vision. which if i was capable of it would read 100% as a religious miracle#which is to say i had crippling sleep paralysis almost every night until an angel on a holy day visited and cured it#but eh. sleep paralysis. placebo. soz aa mike but i think i cured myself ://#anyway my point is i got some way too powerful dreams
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Bunch of Elle outfits I like ranked vaguely
#it mine#heartstopper#elle argent#her box braids are nice (especially love the styling in pic 4) but i do miss her s2 afro and high bun#love the dress in pic 5 but i'm not sure if space buns we're the way to go even though it's a cute style on its own#pic 7 seems nice but i can't see the trousers/skirt/whatever properly so i don't know how much i like the whole thing#uhhh i like her mushroom bag in pic 8#i like pic 9 from far away but i really dislike the actual dress#but i love the jacket and it complements the dress well in terms of style/colour#i like the top in pic 10 but also is that really what elle should be wearing to a radio interview? is the room not going to be freezing?#eh i made a whole post about that.#also my phone will only let me post two pics in a row and won't let me change the order so i have to rank in pairs kind of#but here's my proof that i don't hate all of elle's fashion. or crop tops.
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i thank the dinosaur that died to make the fossil fuel which powered taylor swift's method of transportation to get her to a music studio to record the best album of all time
#this post is about all of her albums but sure go ahead and add your fav!!!#rn for me its you are in love from 1989#it changes every hour eh#1989 taylor's version#taylor swift#fearless taylor’s version#speak now taylor’s version#red taylor’s version#reputation#lover#folklore#evermore#midnights#swifties
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having a revelation. red velvet cake is Not my favorite kind of cake
#and if not then what is!!! ive been saying its my favorite for years and i think thats a lie. it is a lie#im almost positive its like. some sort of lemon cake. or strawberry cake#i love pound cakes too...#i will be reevaluating and testing this theory from now on. considering ive gotten red velvet for my bday cake for years and#the past 4 or 5 years ive thought to myself like.. eh.. like Yes but also... no.. i need to change things up its not my favorite#its no longer good enough to be THE birthday cake for me i seriously gotta reconsider and go hunting for a better flavor for my next bday
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sometimes i wish i cld contact my grandfather via séance or smthn and ask if he's chill with me using his name. less to get permission and more to know if he was actually the kind of guy id want to take the name of
#my dad sent me a pic of papa carl holding me as a baby and said 'two carls'. made me think about shit#gender is weird. names are weird.#been going by drew for like. 8 years? but in that time i keep trying other names#went by gil on here for a while which led to people i deeply cared for only calling me gil. formative#theres another drew at work so theyve been calling me carl. probably also formative#but ive already changed it legally to drew so. eh#the main problem is i dont like my name starting with a soft consonant#hard consonant names are where its at#anyway im gonna go hydrate
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I will continue to be a cunt about this.
#vent#and sorry for the vents lately its been#its been a really harder summer#im holding out for august to be kind to me. but i doubt it.#i think... i think im#i think im starting to crack. i have to admit.#like i think im starting to crack under the intense pressure ive been put under.#i think im going to be in a bad place again for the first time in years if something doesnt change#im tired of being the strong one in everyones lives. im tired of having to be.#i deleted more words bc#eh. i dont want to air dirty laundry.#but i am hurting.
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oops spilling me beans on crinklytinfoil
crinkle would always talk about how garbage they are, how much they suck etc and overall said a lot of things that hit weird but i had no context to apply to what they meant before they started treating me and night like crap. The moment they let the mask slip and showed that they're capable (and more than willing) of treating people horribly over the most minuscule issues i realized what they meant, and that they actually are what they claim to be.
Yes, you are garbage for taking your frustrations out on someone over fiction. Yes you are trash for purposefully bringing others down. Yes you are a terrible person for taking advantage of someones trust and care for you. Add cheating, having 0 concerns for their spouses boundaries and comfort, never being able to fully own up to causing a lot of harm with their infantile bullshit. This and so much more.
But the rich thing is that once someone agrees with them on this - actually shows them irrefutable proof of them being garbage - they freak the fuck out. The "im garbage" they likely use to garner sympathy turns into "im being attacked! Everyone is so mean 2 me!"
Agreeing with a statement crinkle always made is not an attack. Recounting shitty things they did in my own space is not an attack. I never was the one messaging crinkle out of the blue - they were always the one sending me inflammatory messages and CONTINUING to message me after i said goodbye. They couldnt stop themself from blowing up at people and then always made a surprised pika face when people reacted to their behavior. I was never willing to put up with their bullshit and coddle them, i have no reason to. They played stupid games and won stupid prices.
#crinkly tinfoil#crinklytinfoil#no amount of playing the reasonable party online will change how crinkle acted in priv (they arent v good at this act either oops)#like a teenager throwing a tantrum#and afaik he has a long history of doing this#its also amazing they cant believe eden would get pissed at hearing all the bs and reacting accordingly lol#like iirc i actually was telling eden not to do anything for quite a while#bcs they wanted to tear crinkle a new one really bad when this all 1st started#i regret stopping them tbh... not anymore lol#crinkle LOOOVES snapping at people and blowing up but if someone does it back to him?#CRIMINAL#one rule for me another one for thee#as my partner said - you dont go on talking how terrible you are without merit#crink and krys always have sm issues with peoples reactions but do fuck all to fix the behaviors that cause ppl to react poorly to them!#too much effort eh#iykyk
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my voice started changing SO fast on T like the first changes i noticed were around three weeks and now it's been like six-ish weeks on 0.3 (a pretty low dose) and my voice is noticably deeper and cracking when i try to pitch it too high. really wasn't expecting this to happen for like a year im really pleased :)
#it's very on and off though like one day ill sound totally normal#another one ill be much deeper and unable to pitch up and have a bit of a sore throat#but it's consistently happening to where im sure its the T and ppl are noticing the change#by probably next year i think i will sound like a man consistently. very happy!!!#a side effect is that i sound gay as hell and i imagine this will create some new problems for me bc usually when i pass i look gay#to people. i am aware of this because i live in Hell and people make sure to let me know of my faggotry#but eh it's basically either gay guy or butch to those people so it's not like a significant change in QOL wrt homophobia#my prescription is also gonna be out in two or so weeks and then i can go back and ask to raise it again yipee#i prolly need to do blood testing first tho bc PCOS makes me require more monitoring
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Ça va, mon ami?
... Oui?
#🐝#'?' as in 'maybe???? sorta??? idk' type '?'#okay sorry rant in the tags#does that make sense?#i would say okay but. . rn im just chilling#but my emotions flip flop as easy as flipping a coin#one moment ill be hella sad and upset and then the next it'll be like it never happened#like oh. i was sad?? yeah alr cool ANYWAYS time to watch my favorite actor#happy?? good times??? one wrong word or sentence boom im sad#but then that goes and its like okay well thats over time to be laughing and happy#so yknow i can never say yes because right now i cant recall the last 10 minutes#does that mean im just on autopilot??? maybe.#does that mean my brain is on power-saving low-usage mode??? yes.#yknow i just. i just. my emotions change so smoothly its kinda concerning?#i can go from being in the dumps to just 'eh im good' so quickly its as if it never happened#i just dont process anything longer than 20 minutes. 21 minutes? yeah watch me simping for one of the main 3 i like acting like i wasnt sad#yeah so im just. im just on low energy no-real-attention-needed mode rn mon ami#rewatching a tv show ive watched 30 times. music. dark room. my irl/online bestie/platonic marriage partner isnt on#i mean its just low vibration buzzing brain hours rn
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today's prompts are spiders and self insert so i've been thinking of drawing nembone and a uh, bunger. but Im still thinking around the uh. ? i cant remember the word HELP the fucking COMPOSITION there.
#luly talks#i was thinking of formating it like a parody of a flash or mobile game where the character is like FEED ME x =D but i cannot find like#references.#btw another ideas i had was doing ONLY self insert and make a character select screen with my sonas#first i thought of a gif where you'd change selection making the border shine and the character change expression and get color#(otherwise they'd be greyed out) and then i thought of doing a more classic smash bros like character screen#but those two ideas would be too hard#i also thought of something more simple like just. my fursonas hugging yuri style#and then i was like no lets go back to nembone (my og idea as mentioned yesterday on the tags of my art post)#and i was CONVINCED today the prompt was path and i was gonna make a very cool scene with Nembone and Keabin sitting on a bar#and i hope yall know why i hope yall are tuned in with the completely neglected bugsnax oc luly lore but in case youre not first of all#shame on you but second its bc keabin actually is my save where ppl DIE#and i spoke in a post that i think is in my oc blog or maybe my self ship one either way im sure is crossposted on both but i spoke about#how fucking Low Nembone would be in a post Shelda's death path <- eh eh get it get it that's where the prompt plays!!#they'd also be saying something about wishing things could've been different or something#it'd have been a cool drawing and a great excuse to draw my guy keabin who has been borderline fucking retconned otherwise but hey#its not the prompt. so.#idk what i will do for tomorrow btw i dont have many complicated fits ocs juan has been in my brain for close to a decade or more#and he has never wore anything but a green tshirt and some pants#but ill figure something i might do Bloody#or i might double the fuck down and if i do bloody i can tie spiders to her and do nembone and keabin today#it is cringetober after all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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