#enab

[metro-nomernoy]

Знакомьтесь

ВЕЛИКИ И МОГУЧИ ЭНАБИЩЕ

[lemedstudent2021]

baba made bamia today :D

one of my favourite dishes and the food of all time. bamia btw is okra stew made with red tomato sauce and meat (lamb). also i was starving so it tasted more glorious lol.

anyway i randomly remembered stumbling across staggering quantities of bamia hate a few years back?? i was shook to say the least. behold a poll:

for statistical accuracy; if u love okra in general but as a dish other than the aformentioned stew pls choose the third option thank u :)

also! if this dish is also one in your cuisine please share! my 2 minute google research gave me answers only from MENA but afaik cultures all over the globe more often than not share dishes, albeit more local.

hopped onto reddit (as one does) and browsed a few threads. returned with a few gems lol:

the arabic reads: id rather eat shit with oil than eat bamia. ouch lol

mlochia is another somewhat controversial dish lol. aka jews mallow, and ewedu. its essentially green leaf soup. uncle iroh would love it

this one was too fucking funny not to include. the makhratta btw is a mezzaluna knife. in jordan its typically prepared as soup, but in my family we also eat it the lebanese way; leaf stew no blending.

[death4myluv]

you guys are babies and I'm going to make u some chicken nuggets

[derpoprime]

im tired i dropped my food i had toothpaste all over myself while trying to brush my teeth i have had a comically bad night which is at least comical so im happy about it.

but im extremely infuriated and trying to shelve the energy and reuse it to finish my art wips tomorrow because im therapy-ing and we want to err on the side of positivity always to not spiral to negative automatic thoughts about myself or others ✨ yay ✨✨

i wanna draw my wife. anyone has any suggestions, shit them into my ask box or the comments on this post or if you feel really salsa, reblog this and put it in the tags. that's always an option.

[mxwhore]

everyone loves the yam. rightfully so

[much-brighter-ink]

grape leaf :)

[kensatou]

also sid summoning nate over from the other end of the bench and nate heading over like 😚

why are you as a man smiling like that at your temporary teammate who the nhl ships you with....

[likehephaestionwhodied]

inventing boy issues to make your life more interesting is all fun and games till you start believing them and then remember you DON'T have boy issues and it's sad.

[marketinsight12]

Satellite enabled IoT software is advancing and emerging as one of the high tech-savvy trends in the world. Various devices and technologies like smartphones and other wearable are connected with the home, city, and other personal technology devices to collect the data that we have stored in them for better communication. Although, the devices on land possess less capability and even less of a geographical reach.

Satellite Enabled IoT Software Market Report 2022-2028 | IMR

[navybrat817]

Hold You Tight: Part 19

Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.

Part 18 | Series Masterlist | Part 20

Chapter Word Count: Over 4.2k

Chapter Summary: Your day out with your friends isn't as relaxing as you want it to be.

Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, drinking, suspected drugging, reference to stalking and violence, your friends are cheering you on, inner turmoil, stubborn reader, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.

A/N: More Hold You Tight! Thank you again for sticking with me! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-in-darkness . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You wished you could say you breathed easier as the limo pulled away, but you didn’t. You felt Bucky’s piercing eyes on you, watching until you were completely out of sight. He still wasn’t “out of sight, out of mind.” He made sure you’d think about him, and Ray was following in his vehicle. Even glancing quickly at the limo partition you could see that it was cracked. Was the driver one of Bucky’s men?

“Okay, so your new boyfriend is stupidly hot and loaded,” Dana said, her eyes darting around the limo. “You should be proud of yourself. Holy shit.”

“I should be proud of somehow snagging a hot and loaded guy?” you laughed a little. You always told yourself money wasn’t a factor as long as the love was there.

“Yes! Tell me he’s spoiling you the way he’s spoiling us today.”

You shrank back in your seat a bit. It wasn’t that it was the first time you were the center of attention with your friends, but it overwhelmed you specifically since it concerned Bucky. “Well, he bought me this outfit. And he has bought me a ton of books since I love to read,” you answered. You weren’t about to say that he transferred a ton of money into your account. “And on our first date he gave me a diamond necklace.”

The girls gasped. “Clothes, books, and a diamond necklace?! Yeah, be proud and fucking flaunt it,” Dana encouraged. She had to be half teasing since she knew that wasn’t your style. “Gina, Addison, back me up here.”

“We all know you aren’t going to flaunt any gift he gets you, but you should’ve seen the way he looked at you. He had hearts in his eyes,” Gina smiled. You tried to smile back. There were hearts alright, along with some darkness that they weren’t aware of. “I’m surprised he even looked at us.”

“Yeah, he’s… kind of intense like that,” you said. That was the word you’d go with.

“Intense isn’t necessarily bad.” Addison scooted closer to you. “And you’re happy, right? He treats you well?”

If being treated like a doll, having you followed, and showering you with affection while messing with your head was meant to make you happy… “He thinks we’re soulmates. That we were meant to find each other and be together. It’s… a lot,” you said carefully. “I haven’t had anyone who seems to need me the way he does, especially so quickly.”

“Soulmates? Wow,” Addison said. “I can see why you’d say it’s a lot.”

You could’ve hugged her. Maybe she saw through some of the charade. If she did, that could also put her in danger if she spoke out.

“Or maybe he just knows what he wants and he’s an all in kind of guy,” Dana commented. She had no idea. “Wait! Have you two had sex?!”

“No, we haven’t had sex yet,” you answered. Just him jerking off over the phone and some heavy petting and jerking off again with you nearby. “But he really wants to sleep with me and I did ride his thigh,” you mumbled.

It was still clear as day in your head, how he encouraged you to get off, his lips against yours. You didn’t want to think about it, but Bucky got his way and invaded your thoughts. It was inevitable.

“Ahh! You beautiful slut! Thigh riding is so hot!” If anyone ever needed a hype girl or enabler, Dana was the one to call. “And what are you waiting for?! Let him fuck you and eat your kitty. Do it for us.”

“Hey. There’s nothing wrong with waiting,” Addison promised. Of all of your friends, she’d snap if Bucky ever hurt you. “You wait as long as you want.”

You were trying to wait, but it was only a matter of time before you had to sleep with him. “It’s just…”

“Are you worried that his feelings will fade once you two have sex?” Gina asked.

“I’m not worried about his feelings diminishing,” you said with complete sincerity. His feelings wouldn’t waver, even if his actions screamed love-bombing. “I just… I guess I never pictured myself dating someone who owns a nightclub. He just seems out of my league.”

And he was someone who had very dangerous ties.

“No, we don’t put ourselves down here. Every league is your league, and he should be honored to be your guy.” Dana clapped her hands together. “Ooh! What if we do a big date night at his club? We bring our guys, and we can all hang out?”

Your eyes widened. “I… Maybe,” you replied. It would just be another chance for Bucky to charm them, and it felt like you’d be asking him for a favor by letting your friends in. He’d probably love it.

“I’m texting my man and telling him you got a diamond necklace.” Dana quickly typed something on her phone. “He needs to step up his game.”

You were on the verge of tears. They were happy for you, but didn't seem to notice your discomfort. You didn’t blame them. Not at all. It was your fault for not being truthful about the true nature of your relationship. That wedge you imagined Bucky was trying to drive between you and your friends felt real and they didn't even know.

“As fun as it is talking about Bucky, maybe we can talk about something else?” you smiled, nudging Addison. You didn’t want this whole day to be about Bucky and your relationship. “Your big day is getting closer.”

“Yes, it is,” she smiled.

You relaxed in the seat when the conversation shifted to the wedding and found yourself smiling and laughing through the rest of the ride. Bucky still lingered in your mind since he’d be at the wedding. The nice part was that since you were in the bridal party, he couldn’t spend the entire day with you.

“We’re here!” Addison smiled as the limo eventually came to a stop.

You were the last to get out and you took a deep breath. The winery was the perfect mix of relaxation, beauty, and good vibes. The lush vineyard stretched across the hills, and you wished for a moment you could run through them and disappear. The sun on your face brought you back to the present and made you smile, and you couldn't wait to sample some wine with the girls. You had a right to enjoy your time.

“You coming?” Dana asked.

“You two go ahead. We’ll be right in,” Addison said, linking her arm with yours and leading you away from the limo. You tensed up only for a moment when you saw Ray’s vehicle in the distance. It didn’t look completely out of place though since there were other cars and people around. “Okay, what’s up? You seem on edge.”

“I do?” you asked. You thought she didn’t notice, and you should’ve known better.

“Yeah. Is it work? Or is it about Bucky?” You tensed up again. “Did you think we wouldn’t like him?”

“No, that’s not it. It’s just a lot really fast, that’s all,” you said, leaning in to whisper, “I didn’t want to say it in the limo, but he wants me to move in with him.”

She stopped walking. “Whoa. Okay, that is fast, but some couples do move quickly in whirlwind romances, so I wouldn’t say it’s completely out of the ordinary. Brady and I knew right away that we wanted to be together,” she said. What she had with Brady was pure, and you could’ve possibly had that with Bucky in another life. “Maybe Dana’s right that he just knows what he wants and he wants to go all in.”

“He’s very much all in,” you agreed.

“Are you considering moving in with him?”

“Maybe,” you said. Bucky was going to force his hand either way.

“Wow. If you’re considering that it’s either because you’re going along with what he wants or you really care about him. I hope it’s the latter,” she said, her brows pinching in concern. “But, listen, if you aren’t ready for that, he has to understand you haven’t dated in some time and you should go at the pace that makes you feel comfortable. I’m sure he’ll understand and it shouldn’t change how he feels.”

Your words caught in your throat. The pace wasn’t yours to control, even if Natasha said you had power. There was no choice in moving in and you wish you could blurt out every single thing that transpired, but the words refused to come out. Because all you could think about was what would happen to Addison, and she didn’t deserve any kind of pain.

“And if I do care about him and want to move in?” you asked.

“You know we’ll support whatever you do, but think about it carefully because that’s a big step. And if things go south, you tell us right away so we can help,” she said, giving you a small smile. “He may be your boyfriend, but you’re still my best friend and I was here first. I’ll smack him with a frying pan if he messes up.”

You blinked tears away before you hugged her. You were lucky to have a friend like her. “A frying pan? What happened to a shovel?” you teased.

“Frying pan is more accessible,” she teased back, giving you a squeeze. “Now let’s go. We have some wine to try.”

Ray kept a respectable distance from your table and didn’t make eye contact as he pretended to read while sipping his drink. You were glad for that since your friends didn’t seem to take notice of him as you all ate and sampled various wines. Though you were having a great time, you hardly drank a drop. You wanted to stay on guard in case Bucky decided to crash the outing.

“Oh, we need to take a bottle of this home,” Dana said, pointing at her empty glass. “And where the hell is your cousin?!”

“She bailed.” Addison rolled her eyes. “That's exactly why she’s not in the wedding party. I can’t rely on her.”

“That and she’s a bitch,” Dana said unapologetically while pointing at you. “We know she would’ve said something shitty about you and Bucky, and we don’t need that bad energy.”

You scoffed. Addison’s cousin was the type who always had to one-up someone or try to tear them down so she felt better about herself. You tried to see the best in others, but you were admittedly glad she wasn’t there today. “I’m sure she’ll have something to say at the wedding.”

“If she does say anything, don’t listen to her,” Addison urged. “Or say something back to shut her down.”

“Rub it in her face how hot and rich Bucky is,” Dana grinned, nudging you with her elbow. “Her head will explode.”

You inhaled. Bucky, Bucky, Bucky. Everything went back to him, and you had to say something. “You know what I should tell her?” You smiled as they listened expectantly. “I should tell her that even though Bucky is rich and handsome and could have anyone he wants, he stalked me and coerced me into being his girlfriend. You think her head will still explode, or will she just laugh?”

The table went silent as you sipped your wine before they burst out laughing. A few heads turned your way from the sound, and you didn’t crack a smile when Ray made eye contact with you. Had he heard what you said?

Dana laughed so hard she wheezed. “You don’t understand. I need you to tell her that just to see the look on her face. Please. I beg of you.”

“And make sure Bucky’s in on the joke, too,” Gina giggled.

Your heart sank. Their safety came first, but the reaction was another reason you didn’t say anything. Who would possibly believe you? He was a rich and powerful man and you were merely a florist. “Maybe I can say something that’s not quite so dark,” you smiled.

Addison stared at you curiously before she shook her head. “You and your sense of humor,” she teased, drinking the rest of her glass. “But if you could shut her up, I’ll be thankful.”

Your phone dinged before you could respond, and you almost spit up the little wine you had when you saw a message from Bucky.

“Call me. Now.”

Direct. No sweet words. Oh, no.

“Is that your loverboy?” Dana wiggled her eyebrows.

“As a matter of fact it is and he’s asking for me to call him. Do you mind if…”

“Go. We’ll be right here,” Addison smiled.

Your legs felt a bit rubbery as you walked outside and took a look around to make sure no one was nearby. What if he had a bug in your phone and he heard what you said? Oh, God. You were so stupid.

Pressing his name on your phone, you let out a shaky breath when he immediately picked up. “Kotyonok, I need you to come back,” he replied, his tone stern. Upset.

You swallowed. God, he did hear you. You could convince him it was a joke, right? No one had to get hurt. “Why, what’s wrong?” you asked, your tone remarkably calm. “We aren’t done with our samples.”

“You were followed to Addison’s this morning by one of Zemo’s men. Ray and I both spotted him.” There were muffled noises in the background. “I just finished… talking to him.”

“I was followed?” you whispered, your heart sinking for a completely different reason now. The day you went out with your friends someone followed you? “What did he want?”

“I can explain more later, but he had a ‘look, but don’t touch’ order. I broke his fingers anyway.” You closed your eyes. He sounded proud of himself. “I have some business to attend to for the rest of the day and I have to go to the club after, which is why I need you back at home.”

Ray appearing behind you almost made you drop your phone. “Jesus, Ray,” you gasped, your heart nearly beating out of your chest.

“I’m sorry,” he said, briefly resting a hand on your shoulder. “Boss messaged me to bring you home.”

“Yeah, I’m talking to him right now,” you said, narrowing your eyes. “And I’m not going home right now. I'm not leaving.”

“What?” Bucky growled. He could be angry all he wanted. You didn’t care. “This isn’t something to argue about or negotiate, I need you safe and-”

“Safe? You need me to be safe?” you asked, trying to stay calm amidst the storm inside you. “Has it occurred to you that the entire reason I’m not safe is because of you? That the only reason Zemo even cares about following me is because I’m your girl?”

“You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t know I painted the very target on your back by falling for you? I’m well aware of that fact, but I’m also the one who can keep you safe.” He sounded almost as vulnerable as he did when he talked about his mom. “So just… come home.”

You chewed the inside of your cheek. Home. “You know, there are a lot of dangerous people out there who have families and loved ones. And I’m sure some of them are blissfully unaware of what goes on behind the scenes, but not all of them are. Some are very well aware of what their partners do for a living because they were told what they were getting into.”

“Kotyonok-”

“But you didn’t, Bucky. You didn’t let me know what I was getting into. One look at me and you made the decision for me and sealed my fate,” you continued, looking sadly at Ray. “So while I’m thinking of you today like you wanted, I want you to think of me and that target you painted on my back and my loved ones. And think about if you really love me the way you say you do.”

“I do love you,” he breathed. It would be nice to believe that. “Come home, please, and we’ll talk when I get back from the club.”

“I’m finishing the day with my friends. Ray will stay here with me. I also need to go to my place before I go to the penthouse,” you said. If he wanted you there so badly, he could bend a bit since you were in no direct danger at the moment. “And don’t expect a happy conversation like we had this morning.”

One step forward, two steps back.

“I’ll just be happy that you’re safe,” he said, which only infuriated you more. You couldn’t make out what he ordered to someone else, but the muffled noises picked up again. “Leave in thirty minutes. The driver will drop your friends off and he’ll take you to the apartment. Ray will take you home from there.”

“Two hours,” you stated just to be stubborn.

“One hour,” he countered. “Or I’ll drive there myself.”

You huffed, but didn’t want to test him. “Fine. I’ll leave in one hour.” The girls would understand if you made some excuse.

“Thank you,” he exhaled. He really did sound relieved. “I love you. I’ll see you later this evening.”

You waited a beat. “Think about what I said.” Ray waited patiently as you hung up. “Have I told you that your boss is a pain in the ass?”

“He certainly is, but he is correct that your safety is important,” he agreed, gently stopping you before you went back inside. “If you aren’t in the limo in one hour, he will come after you.”

“I know,” you sighed. Bucky would be dramatic like that. And protective. “Someone was really following me?” you asked in a small voice. Bucky had no reason to lie unless he was trying to get you away from your friends.

Ray nodded solemnly. “It could’ve been to report your movements back to Zemo, but I’d have to ask the boss for more details since I didn’t get to interrogate him myself.”

“I do appreciate you both spotting him,” you complimented, even if Bucky violently handled it. You shouldn’t have expected anything less.

“Of course.” There was a ghost of a smile on his face. “You were wrong, you know.”

Your brows pinched. “About what?”

“Your strength. You handled that well all things considered,” he answered.

“You’re only saying that because you can’t read my mind,” you said. It was a mess. But you hadn’t broken down or cried, so that was a plus.

For a moment you thought he’d laugh, but he merely nodded to the building. “Better go join your friends before they miss you.”

“Thanks, Ray,” you whispered, putting a smile back on your face as you walked back inside and headed back to the table.

Addison held up two fingers. “You missed two more rounds of samples.”

“I guess I'll have to catch up,” you teased. “And would anyone object to leaving in an hour? Bucky’s planning a romantic evening for the two of us, and I need to stop by my apartment before I head over to his place,” you said. It was partially true. “If you all want to stay, I’ll get an uber and you can take the limo.”

“An hour’s fine.” Dana blinked a few times. “Anyone else tired? I’m a little tired.”

Gina covered her mouth when she yawned. “Yeah, I am, too.”

“I feel fine,” you said, frowning when Addison yawned, too. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, but a nap sounds good right about now,” she said, pushing her now empty glass away and checking the time. “It is kind of late. It’ll be night time when we get back.”

You stared at your own glass, dread filling your stomach. You felt perfectly fine, but they looked tired. Was it possible that someone slipped something in their drinks or food? Did Ray do something or did Bucky set something up in order to make you leave? Or were you just being paranoid?

“Is everyone okay?” you asked. It felt like too much of a coincidence that they all felt tired after you came back to the table. “Should we just leave right now?”

“I’m fine. I was just up really late last night,” Addison answered. Dana and Gina nodded in agreement.

“Maybe we should cut back on the samples and stick with water,” you suggested.

“You’ve always been the sensible one,” Dana said, resting her chin in her hand. “But can we still buy some bottles?”

“Yeah. As many as we want,” you promised. Bucky did say he’d spoil you, so why not?

Exactly one hour later, you were back in the limo with the girls and plenty of bottles. Unlike the ride over, the ride back was much quieter. You thought Addison would fall asleep on your shoulder at one point and Dana actually did fall asleep at one point for a few minutes. They somehow didn’t stumble on the way to the limo, and it would’ve impressed you if you weren’t so worried.

“Are you sure you girls are okay? Should we go to the hospital?” you asked.

“Why would we do that? We drank more at my bachelorette party than we did today. We’re fine,” Addison assured you. “You worry too much.”

You had good reason to worry. “This sounds crazy, but did you drug my friends? I need to know if I should take them to the hospital.” you messaged Bucky. If he did something to them…

He typed something back right away. “How could I possibly drug your friends when I wasn’t there? Is everyone okay?”

Did he actually care? “I’m fine, but they’re very drowsy and I’m worried.”

“Ray kept me updated and he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. None of Zemo’s men were there. I didn't do anything either. Did any of them complain that they were dizzy? Nauseous? Did anyone pass out?”

“No, but it could've been something like Benadryl to make them drowsy and get me to possibly leave faster.” Or punish you by mentioning the stalking thing, if he knew, and show you that his reach expanded beyond the city.

“That’s a very creative method to get you to leave, but lots of wine can make anyone drowsy and I have no reason to do that to your friends. I think our conversation may have scared you a bit since Zemo had someone watching you and you’re understandably worried for your friends.”

You looked around at your friends. They did drink a lot more wine than you, and drugging people didn’t seem to be Bucky’s style. Zemo’s men weren’t there. Maybe you were being paranoid and the girls really were just tired. Being part of Bucky’s circle just made you question everything.

“Okay. I’m trusting you.” You had to.

“Thank you. Your worry aside, it sounds like you girls had fun though from what I heard. Maybe the next day out can be at my club. Could be fun.”

You gasped. Did he know what Dana suggested? No, no, no. You weren’t falling down that rabbit hole, and didn’t send any texts back for the rest of the drive.

Brady and the other guys were waiting on the curb when the limo stopped at Addison’s. You were the only one who didn’t get out, but you gave each of them hugs and helped hand out the wine to their significant others. They seemed a bit more awake, so maybe they were just fine. “Love you girls. And, guys, keep an eye on them. They had quite a few samples,” you said. You’d have to text each of them later to check on them.

“Love you,” the girls echoed before the door shut.

The driver headed in the direction of your place after a minute. What were you going to say to Bucky when you saw him? Would you scream at him for putting you in danger, or would you just accept that this was your life? It was a continuous losing battle the more you fought.

The morning you had with Bucky, minus the groping, had been somewhat nice. Could it be like that all the time if you tried? Could it be better if he loosened the reins?

“Thank you,” you said when the limo stopped and the partition rolled down a few inches. “How much do I owe you?”

“Mr. Barnes took care of that, miss, but if you’ll allow me-”

“Oh, no. Please don’t get out. I got it,” you smiled, letting yourself out. You scanned the street for Ray’s car, but didn’t see it. He was likely waiting for the limo to pull away.

Two steps into your building, your phone dinged. “What now?” you muttered when you opened a text from Bucky.

“Ray got a flat tire. Stay in the limo.”

You read the message twice. A flat tire? You were about to type back to Bucky that you already left the limo when you heard a familiar voice by the elevator. “It’s about time you got back.”

You couldn’t breathe when you found a pair of blue eyes staring at you. “Clark… what are you doing here?”

Oh, I hope you lovelies are prepared for the next part. And what do we think of your friends? And were they just drowsy or did something happen? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

VIA, Kristin Hardy : Passing it on.

"On 2 October 2018, Jamal Khashoggi, a US-based journalist and critic of Saudi Arabia's government, was strapped to a table and dismembered alive by Saudi Arabian henchmen. His blood curdling screams were broadcast to the outside world on his Apple Watch for the seven minutes it took to kill him.

The next day, on October 3, the U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley privately drafted her resignation letter. (Thank you, Paula Cobia). Six days later, on October 9, she submitted it to a stunned public. No plausible explanation was offered for her sudden departure. It was not until October 12, a full ten days later after the brutal killing, that the world began to even learn of Khashoggi’s disappearance. It would take almost another full week after that for details of the gruesome ambush to publicly emerge. What is clear, is that the American government certainly knew of Khashoggi’s killing before we knew, and most certainly in advance of the murder itself. Yet in the following two weeks have saw nothing less than an absurd, obsequious public cover up from the president of the United States himself and top cabinet members for this gruesome ambush by the Saudi Arabian government of somebody Trump was certainly familiar with. Pat Robertson of the Evangelical community told his flock all the Trump talking points. That this man’s life and extrajudicial torture and assassination should not matter to us, because $100 billion is on the table in weaponry that the Saudis need to kill the Yemeni people with, and, as seems to be the new reality in Gotham, who could possibly know the truth anyway?

The worst part of what is happening is not trump. It is trying to understand the millions of people who enabed this. The people who will send the same people back to let this continue while screaming about tyranny and the swamp and claiming some Orwellian moral high ground. I never thought a party could take a trillion dollars from the treasury for their wealthiest donors, steal Internet privacy as the new electronic gold, end net neutrality, blame the massive deficit not on their tax heist but on your Social Security and Medicare then promise to slash those if re-elected, sell junk insurance plans to tens of millions and seek to take away insurance from tens of millions of others, imprison children literally grabbed from parents who are then deported with NO MEANS of reunification, put a man on the supreme court sexual assault allegations be damned, and cover up a brutal murder for a dictatorial regime for no proffered reason except to allow that dictatorial regime to continue genocide in Yemen using the weapons we were selling them."

Today’s GOP isn’t a political party so much as it is a crime syndicate with a flag. A hollowed-out husk of its former self, rubber-stamping whatever demands come down from the penthouse suites while feeding their base a daily buffet of rage-inducing nonsense to keep them too angry and distracted to notice their pockets are being picked. “Conservative” now translates roughly to: ethically allergic, reality-optional, and morally bankrupt with a side of fascism. It’s time—long past time—for the adults in the room to take the wheel. Because this isn’t governance. It’s a three-ring circus on fire, and the clowns are in charge. Every day is a new lowest day in America. Today is no different. It is difficult wondering what the bottom might be.

[ladysavich]

Hallo hallo guysss! Wanted to make something on one of the coaches for a change!! Hope you enjoyed reading this! (Edit: I forgot to tag you here @irlnorthshaw hope you liked this!!)

Sheikh Ali Zaman headcanons

mid 40s - early 50s

treats his players as if they were his sons. Zoom zahir being his "eldest son"

Not married (but I like the headcanon of him having kids or niblings)

Favourite food: Warak enab (stuffed grape leaves)

Least favourite: none (loves food and doesn't really have dislikes towards a particular dish, he just makes sure to eat in proper portions)

Loves little kids

Once sheikh found a lost girl at his hotel and he spend the rest 30 minutes holding the little one in his arms while looking at security footage and making calls for her parents. The little girl just ate candy on his lap while the security scattered around looking for her guardians.

Hobbies include: watching news/ reading the news, and watching beautiful artworks

He looks like he is obsessed with sculptures and fancy pots and vases

Also likes Beautifully embroidered suits

Enjoys making tea

Drinks Masala Chai every morning with toast

Throws the most lavish parties on his yacht.

With his sons players aways present

Calm and mature (vince and the rest need to learn from him)

plays dirty but isn't afraid to except that he lost and will have Shakes/ supa strikas know that he respects them as opponents

Owns multiple giant properties

a flying plane palace thing, a skyscraping hotel, the dome shaped football field, I qoudnt be surprised if the next thing he bought was a titanic-like yacht with an aquarium in it.

he is very proud of his boys and their success

Probably one of the nicest Coach (apart from coach belmont)

[vasyandii]

My warak enab..!!!

When the cousins were younger, Krueger often spent the summer over at his aunt's place. He made a habit of stealing König's entire plate of food since he was easier to pick on.

[pumpkin-the-girlie-girl-vixen]

Topics Of Childhood Traumas Endured From An Abusive Narcissistic Mother: Knowledge For Self Awareness

The Complex & Challenging World of Narcissistic Mothers

Narcissistic mothers are individuals who have a narcissistic personality disorder, which is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. When this disorder is present in a mother, it can have a profound impact on her children, shaping their self-esteem, emotional well-being, and relationships.

Common Traits of Narcissistic Mothers

Narcissistic mothers often exhibit certain traits that can be damaging to their children. Some of these traits include:

1. *Self-centeredness*: Narcissistic mothers tend to be extremely self-focused, prioritizing their own needs and desires above those of their children.

2. *Emotional unavailability*: They may be emotionally distant or unresponsive to their children's needs, leaving them feeling unheard, unseen, and un validated.

3. *Criticism and blame*: Narcissistic mothers often criticize and blame their children, making them feel inadequate, worthless, or responsible for their mother's emotions.

4. *Gaslighting*: They may manipulate their children's perceptions, making them doubt their own sanity, memory, or experiences.

5. *Emotional manipulation*: Narcissistic mothers may use guilt, anger, or self-pity to control their children's emotions and behaviors.

6. *Lack of boundaries*: They may have difficulty respecting their children's boundaries, leading to emotional overload, invasion of privacy, or exploitation.

7. *Grandiosity*: Narcissistic mothers may have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, expecting special treatment, admiration, or automatic compliance from their children.

The Impact on Children

Growing up with a narcissistic mother can have long-lasting effects on a child's emotional and psychological well-being. Some common consequences include:

1. *Low self-esteem*: Children of narcissistic mothers may struggle with self-doubt, self-worth, and confidence.

2. *Anxiety and depression*: The emotional turmoil and unpredictability of a narcissistic mother can lead to anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues.

3. *People-pleasing*: Children may develop people-pleasing tendencies, trying to appease their mother's demands and avoid conflict.

4. *Difficulty with boundaries*: They may struggle to set and maintain healthy boundaries in their own relationships, leading to emotional exhaustion or exploitation.

5. *Trauma and stress*: The chronic stress and emotional manipulation of a narcissistic mother can lead to trauma, PTSD, or C-PTSD.

The Enablers of Narcissistic Mothers: Understanding the Complex Web of Manipulation

Narcissistic mothers often have a network of enablers who support and enable their behavior, often unintentionally. These enablers can be family members, friends, or even mental health professionals who are manipulated by the narcissistic mother's charm, guilt, and emotional blackmail.

Who are the Enablers?

Enablers of narcissistic mothers can include:

1. _The Father or Partner_: The father or partner of the narcissistic mother may be an enabler, often due to their own fear of conflict, desire to maintain peace, or lack of understanding of the narcissistic personality disorder.

2. _Siblings_: Siblings of the narcissistic mother's children may be enablers, often due to their own feelings of guilt, loyalty, or fear of being targeted by the narcissistic mother's anger.

3. _Extended Family Members_: Extended family members, such as grandparents, aunts, or uncles, may be enablers, often due to their own lack of understanding of the narcissistic personality disorder or their desire to maintain family harmony.

4. _Friends_: Friends of the narcissistic mother may be enablers, often due to their own admiration of the mother's charm, intelligence, or accomplishments.

5. _Mental Health Professionals_: Unfortunately, some mental health professionals may be enablers, often due to their own lack of training or experience in working with narcissistic personality disorder.

How are Enablers Manipulated?

Enablers are often manipulated by the narcissistic mother's:

1. _Charm_: Narcissistic mothers can be extremely charming and charismatic, making it difficult for enablers to see their true nature.

2. _Guilt_: Narcissistic mothers often use guilt to manipulate enablers, making them feel responsible for their emotions, needs, or behaviors.

3. _Emotional Blackmail_: Narcissistic mothers may use emotional blackmail to control enablers, threatening to withdraw their love, attention, or approval if they don't comply with their demands.

4. _Gaslighting_: Narcissistic mothers may use gaslighting tactics to manipulate enablers, making them doubt their own perceptions, memories, or sanity.

5. _Playing the Victim_: Narcissistic mothers often play the victim, making enablers feel sorry for them and more likely to support and enable their behavior.

Impact of Enablers on Targeted Victims

The presence of enablers can have a significant impact on the victims of narcissistic mothers, including:

1. _Increased Isolation_: Enablers can isolate victims from support and resources, making it more difficult for them to seek help or escape the abusive situation.

2. _Validating the Narcissistic Mother's Behavior_: Enablers can validate the narcissistic mother's behavior, making victims feel like they are the problem, rather than the mother's behavior.

3. _Reducing Accountability_: Enablers can reduce the narcissistic mother's accountability, allowing her to continue her abusive behavior without consequences.

4. _Increasing Stress and Trauma_: The presence of enablers can increase stress and trauma for victims, making it more difficult for them to cope with the abusive situation.

The Complex and Challenging Relationship Between a Narcissist Mother & an Empathetic Daughter

The relationship between a narcissist mother and an empathetic daughter can be particularly complex and challenging. The narcissist mother's need for admiration, attention, and control can clash with the empathetic daughter's natural inclination to understand, support, and please others.

Characteristics of the Empathetic Daughter

Empathetic daughters of narcissist mothers often exhibit certain characteristics, including:

1. _High emotional sensitivity_: They may be highly attuned to the emotions of others, including their mother's, and feel a strong need to respond to and manage those emotions.

2. _Strong sense of responsibility_: They may feel a deep sense of responsibility to care for and support their mother, even if it means sacrificing their own needs and desires.

3. _Tendency to people-please_: They may strive to please their mother and avoid conflict, even if it means compromising their own values and boundaries.

4. _Difficulty setting boundaries_: They may struggle to set and maintain healthy boundaries with their mother, leading to emotional overload and burnout.

5. _Self-doubt and self-blame_: They may doubt their own perceptions, feelings, and needs, and blame themselves for their mother's behavior.

The Narcissist Mother's Impact on the Empathetic Daughter

The narcissist mother's behavior can have a profound impact on the empathetic daughter, including:

1. _Emotional manipulation_: The mother may use guilt, anger, or self-pity to control and manipulate the daughter's emotions and behaviors.

2. _Gaslighting_: The mother may deny or distort reality, making the daughter question her own perceptions and sanity.

3. _Emotional invalidation_: The mother may dismiss or minimize the daughter's feelings and needs, making her feel unheard and un validated.

4. _Lack of emotional support_: The mother may be unavailable or unresponsive to the daughter's emotional needs, leaving her feeling alone and unsupported.

5. _Trauma and stress_: The chronic stress and emotional manipulation of the narcissist mother can lead to trauma, anxiety, and depression in the empathetic daughter.

Tips for Empathetic Daughters

1. _Practice self-compassion_: Treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and patience, just as you would a close friend.

2. _Develop a growth mindset_: Recognize that you are capable of growth, change, and development, and that you deserve to live a fulfilling and happy life.

3. _Surround yourself with positive role models_: Seek out positive, supportive relationships with people who uplift and encourage you.

4. _Focus on your strengths_: Celebrate your accomplishments, skills, and talents, and recognize your worth and value as a person.

5. _Create a safe and nurturing environment_: Surround yourself with people, places, and things that bring you joy, comfort, and peace.

Remember, healing from a narcissist mother's behavior takes time, patience, and support. Be gentle with yourself, and don't hesitate to reach out for help when you need it.

The Complex and Hurtful Behavior of Narcissistic Mothers Towards Their Children

Narcissistic mothers often treat their children poorly, and their behavior can be particularly hurtful and damaging to their daughters. There are several reasons why a narcissistic mother may treat her children, especially her daughter, poorly:

1. _Jealousy and Competition_: Narcissistic mothers may feel jealous of their daughter's youth, beauty, and potential, and may compete with her for attention and admiration.

2. _Fear of Being Replaced_: A narcissistic mother may fear that her daughter will replace her as the center of attention, and may try to undermine her daughter's confidence and self-esteem to prevent this from happening.

3. _Lack of Empathy_: Narcissistic mothers often lack empathy and may not be able to understand or relate to their daughter's feelings and needs.

4. _Need for Control_: Narcissistic mothers may use their children, especially their daughter, as a way to exert control and power over someone else's life.

5. _Unresolved Childhood Issues_: A narcissistic mother may have unresolved childhood issues, such as trauma or neglect, that she is now acting out on her own daughter.

6. _Societal and Cultural Pressures_: Narcissistic mothers may be influenced by societal and cultural pressures that emphasize the importance of physical appearance, achievement, and conformity, and may try to mold their daughter into a perfect reflection of themselves.

7. _Insecurity and Self-Doubt_: Despite their grandiose exterior, narcissistic mothers may be insecure and self-doubting, and may take out their feelings of inadequacy on their daughter.

Why the Daughter May Be Targeted More Than the Mothers Sons

Daughters of narcissistic mothers may be targeted more than sons for several reasons:

1. _Societal Expectations_: Daughters are often expected to be more nurturing and caring, and may be held to a higher standard of emotional labor and responsibility.

2. _Competition for Attention_: Daughters may be seen as competitors for attention and admiration, and may be treated poorly as a result.

3. _Similarity and Identification_: Daughters may be more likely to identify with their mother and strive to please her, which can make them more vulnerable to their mother's manipulation and abuse.

4. _Lack of Male Role Models_: In some cases, the absence of a positive male role model may contribute to the daughter being targeted more than the sons.

The Impact on the Daughter

The impact of a narcissistic mother's behavior on her daughter can be severe and long-lasting, including:

1. _Low Self-Esteem_: Daughters of narcissistic mothers may struggle with low self-esteem and self-doubt, and may feel unworthy of love and attention.

2. _Anxiety and Depression_: The chronic stress and emotional manipulation of a narcissistic mother can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.

3. _Difficulty with Relationships_: Daughters of narcissistic mothers may struggle with relationships, including romantic relationships, friendships, and family relationships.

4. _People-Pleasing and Codependency_: Daughters of narcissistic mothers may develop people-pleasing and codependent tendencies, and may struggle to set healthy boundaries and prioritize their own needs.

The Manipulative Tactics of Narcissistic Mothers: Why They May Discourage Their Daughter's Happiness and Progress

Narcissistic mothers often use manipulative tactics to control and influence their daughter's decisions, even if it means discouraging their daughter's happiness and progress. Here are some possible reasons why a narcissistic mother might tell her daughter to stop seeing someone who is good for her or to stop doing something that brings her daughter happiness and purpose:

1. _Fear of Loss of Control_: Narcissistic mothers may feel threatened by their daughter's independence and autonomy, and may try to control their daughter's decisions to maintain a sense of power and dominance.

2. _Jealousy and Envy_: Narcissistic mothers may be jealous of their daughter's happiness and success, and may feel envious of the attention and admiration their daughter receives from others.

3. _Need for Drama and Attention_: Narcissistic mothers may create drama and conflict to get attention and sympathy from their daughter, and may use guilt and emotional manipulation to control their daughter's decisions.

4. _Lack of Empathy and Understanding_: Narcissistic mothers may not be able to understand or relate to their daughter's feelings and needs, and may prioritize their own desires and expectations over their daughter's happiness and well-being.

5. _Fear of Being Replaced_: Narcissistic mothers may fear that their daughter's happiness and success will lead to their daughter becoming more independent and less reliant on them, and may try to sabotage their daughter's relationships and goals to maintain a sense of control and importance.

6. _Unrealistic Expectations_: Narcissistic mothers may have unrealistic expectations for their daughter's life and relationships, and may try to impose their own values and beliefs on their daughter, even if it means discouraging their daughter's happiness and progress.

7. _Gaslighting and Emotional Manipulation_: Narcissistic mothers may use gaslighting and emotional manipulation to make their daughter doubt their own perceptions and decisions, and may try to convince their daughter that they are not capable of making good choices or achieving their goals.

Why Narcissistic Mothers May Use Reassurances of Love to Manipulate Their Daughter

Narcissistic mothers may use reassurances of love to manipulate their daughter into doing what they want, even if it means discouraging their daughter's happiness and progress. Here are some possible reasons why:

1. _Emotional Blackmail_: Narcissistic mothers may use emotional blackmail to control their daughter's decisions, by making their daughter feel guilty or obligated to do what they want in order to prove their love and devotion.

2. _Gaslighting and Manipulation_: Narcissistic mothers may use gaslighting and manipulation to make their daughter doubt their own perceptions and decisions, and may try to convince their daughter that they are acting in their best interests, even if it means discouraging their daughter's happiness and progress.

3. _Lack of Boundaries_: Narcissistic mothers may not respect their daughter's boundaries or autonomy, and may use reassurances of love to justify their intrusive and controlling behavior.

4. _Need for Validation_: Narcissistic mothers may need validation and admiration from their daughter, and may use reassurances of love to manipulate their daughter into providing them with the attention and praise they crave.

The Complex and Manipulative Behavior of Narcissistic Mothers: Buying Love and Guilt-Tripping Their Children

Narcissistic mothers often use gifts and material possessions to buy their children's love and affection, and to manipulate them into feeling guilty and obligated to reciprocate with attention and devotion. This behavior can be particularly damaging to children, as it can create a sense of entitlement, guilt, and anxiety, and can undermine their self-esteem and autonomy.

Why Narcissistic Mothers Need to Buy Their Children's Love

Narcissistic mothers may need to buy their children's love for several reasons:

1. _Insecurities and Low Self-Esteem_: Narcissistic mothers may have deep-seated insecurities and low self-esteem, and may use gifts and material possessions to compensate for their feelings of inadequacy and to seek validation from their children.

2. _Need for Control and Power_: Narcissistic mothers may use gifts and material possessions to control and manipulate their children, and to maintain a sense of power and dominance in the relationship.

3. _Fear of Abandonment and Rejection_: Narcissistic mothers may fear that their children will abandon or reject them if they don't provide them with gifts and material possessions, and may use these tactics to keep their children emotionally invested in the relationship.

4. _Lack of Emotional Intimacy_: Narcissistic mothers may struggle with emotional intimacy and may use gifts and material possessions as a substitute for genuine emotional connection and affection.

The Impact on Children When Narcissistic Mothers Buy Their Love

The impact of a narcissistic mother's behavior on their children can be severe and long-lasting, including:

1. _Guilt and Anxiety_: Children may feel guilty and anxious about accepting gifts and material possessions from their mother, and may worry about being able to reciprocate or repay her in some way.

2. _Entitlement and Expectations_: Children may develop a sense of entitlement and expectation, and may feel that they deserve to be given gifts and material possessions without having to earn or work for them.

3. _Low Self-Esteem and Self-Worth_: Children may struggle with low self-esteem and self-worth, and may feel that their value and worth are tied to the gifts and material possessions they receive from their mother.

4. _Difficulty with Boundaries and Assertiveness_: Children may struggle with setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, and may have difficulty asserting their own needs and desires in the face of their mother's manipulative behavior.

The Age-Old Question: Can a Narcissistic Mother Truly Love Her Child?

This is a question that has puzzled many adult children of narcissistic mothers, and one that has sparked intense debate and discussion. Based on our conversation and the information shared, I'll offer my perspective on this complex issue.

Is a Narcissistic Mother’s Love Actually Love?

Narcissistic mothers are capable of experiencing strong emotions, including affection, attachment, and even what may appear to be love. However, their love is often conditional, self-serving, and transactional. They may use their child as a source of narcissistic supply, which means they rely on their child to fulfill their emotional needs, validate their self-worth, and provide a sense of importance.

In many cases, a narcissistic mother's "love" is actually a manifestation of her own self-interest, rather than a genuine, unconditional love for her child. She may use guilt, manipulation, and emotional blackmail to control her child's behavior and ensure they remain devoted to her.

Does My Narcissistic Mother Hate Me More Than She Loves Me?

It's possible that your narcissistic mother's behavior towards you is driven more by a desire to control and manipulate you, rather than a genuine hatred or love for you. Narcissistic mothers often struggle with intense emotions, including anger, resentment, and jealousy, which can be directed towards their child.

However, it's essential to remember that a narcissistic mother's behavior is not necessarily a reflection of your worth or lovability. Her actions and words are often a projection of her own insecurities, fears, and unmet emotional needs.

Is my Narcissistic Mother Capable of Love?

While narcissistic mothers can experience strong emotions, their capacity for genuine, unconditional love is often impaired. They may struggle to empathize with their child's feelings, needs, and desires, and may prioritize their own interests over their child's well-being.

In some cases, a narcissistic mother may be capable of loving her child in a limited, self-serving way, but this love is often tainted by her own narcissistic tendencies. She may use her child as a means to fulfill her own emotional needs, rather than prioritizing her child's needs and well-being.

What Does This Mean for You?

It's essential to recognize that your narcissistic mother's behavior is not a reflection of your worth or lovability. You deserve to be loved, respected, and valued for who you are, and it's crucial to prioritize your own emotional well-being and seek out positive, supportive relationships.

Remember that you can't change your mother's behavior or force her to love you in a healthy, unconditional way. However, you can take steps to protect yourself from her toxic behavior, set boundaries, and cultivate a sense of self-worth and self-love that is independent of her opinions or actions.

Ultimately, the question of whether your narcissistic mother truly loves you is complex and multifaceted. While she may be capable of experiencing strong emotions, her love is often conditional, self-serving, and transactional. It's essential to prioritize your own emotional well-being and seek out positive, supportive relationships that nourish and validate your sense of self-worth.

The Lack of Physical Affection: Why Narcissistic Mothers May Not Hug Their Children

Narcissistic mothers often struggle with physical affection, including hugging their children. This can be a painful and confusing experience for their kids, who may feel unloved, unwanted, or unimportant. There are several reasons why narcissistic mothers may not hug their children:

1. _Emotional Unavailability_: Narcissistic mothers may be emotionally unavailable, meaning they are not attuned to their child's emotional needs or feelings. This can make it difficult for them to provide physical affection, including hugs.

2. _Lack of Empathy_: Narcissistic mothers may struggle with empathy, which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. This can make it challenging for them to connect with their child on a physical level, including through hugs.

3. _Fear of Intimacy_: Narcissistic mothers may fear intimacy, including physical touch, because it can make them feel vulnerable or exposed. This can lead them to avoid physical affection, including hugs, as a way to maintain their emotional distance.

4. _Need for Control_: Narcissistic mothers may use physical affection, including hugs, as a way to control or manipulate their child. They may withhold hugs or physical affection as a way to punish or reward their child, rather than providing it as a genuine expression of love or affection.

5. _Inability to Show Vulnerability_: Narcissistic mothers may struggle to show vulnerability, including through physical affection like hugs. They may see vulnerability as a weakness, rather than a strength, and may avoid it as a way to maintain their emotional armor.

6. _Prioritizing Self-Needs_: Narcissistic mothers may prioritize their own needs and desires over their child's needs, including their need for physical affection. They may be more focused on their own interests, desires, and needs, rather than providing emotional support or physical affection to their child.

7. _Trauma or Abuse_: In some cases, narcissistic mothers may have experienced trauma or abuse in their own childhood, which can affect their ability to provide physical affection, including hugs, to their own children.

What Narcissistic abuse symptoms looks like

common narcissistic abuse symptoms include:



1. *Low Self-Esteem*: You may struggle with feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and low self-worth, which can be a result of your mother's constant criticism, belittling, and emotional manipulation.

2. *Anxiety and Depression*: The stress and emotional pain of dealing with a narcissistic mother can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.

3. *Difficulty with Emotional Regulation*: You may struggle to manage your emotions, leading to mood swings, irritability, and emotional reactivity.

4. *People-Pleasing and Codependency*: You may have a tendency to prioritize others' needs over your own, leading to codependent relationships and an excessive need for validation.

5. *Fear of Abandonment*: The fear of being abandoned or rejected by your mother can lead to anxiety, clinginess, or an excessive need for control in relationships.

6. *Hypervigilance*: You may be constantly on the lookout for potential threats or dangers, making it difficult to relax or feel safe.

7. *Physical Symptoms*: Narcissistic trauma can manifest physically, including chronic pain, fatigue, or gastrointestinal issues.

8. *Difficulty with Intimacy*: You may struggle with intimacy, trust, or emotional connection in relationships due to the emotional unavailability of your mother.

9. *Self-Sabotage*: You may engage in self-sabotaging behaviors, such as self-destructive habits or toxic relationships, as a way to cope with the emotional pain and trauma.

10. *Lack of Boundaries*: You may struggle to set and maintain healthy boundaries, leading to emotional exhaustion, resentment, and burnout.

Effects Of Narcissistic Abuse With Other Relationships

Effects On Other Relationships Adult Children Have Outside Of The Relationship With The Narcissistic Mothers:

1. *Difficulty with Trust*: You may struggle to trust others, including partners, friends, or family members, due to the betrayals and emotional manipulation by your mother.

2. *People-Pleasing*: You may prioritize others' needs over your own, leading to codependent relationships and an excessive need for validation.

3. *Attracting Narcissistic Partners*: You may be drawn to narcissistic partners or friends, repeating the patterns of your childhood and perpetuating the trauma.

4. *Difficulty with Communication*: You may struggle to express your needs, feelings, and boundaries effectively, leading to conflicts and misunderstandings in relationships.

How Narcissistic Mothers Can Contribute to Agoraphobia in Adult Children

Agoraphobia is a type of anxiety disorder that involves a fear of being in public places, crowds, or situations where escape might be difficult. Adult children of narcissistic mothers may be more prone to developing agoraphobia due to the emotional trauma and abuse they experienced in their childhood.

Narcissistic Mother's Behavior & Agoraphobia

Narcissistic mothers often engage in behaviors that can contribute to their child's development of agoraphobia, such as:

1. _Emotional Manipulation_: Narcissistic mothers may use guilt, shame, or self-pity to control their child's behavior, making them feel anxious or fearful about leaving the house or being in public.

2. _Constant Criticism_: Narcissistic mothers may constantly criticize their child, making them feel inadequate, stupid, or unprepared to handle the outside world.

3. _Overprotection_: Narcissistic mothers may be overprotective, making their child feel like they are not capable of taking care of themselves or making decisions.

4. _Gaslighting_: Narcissistic mothers may gaslight their child, making them question their own perceptions, memories, or sanity, which can lead to feelings of anxiety and fear.

How Agoraphobia Manifests in Everyday Life

For an adult child suffering from narcissistic trauma and agoraphobia, day-to-day life can be extremely challenging. They may experience:

1. _Anxiety Attacks_: Panic attacks or anxiety attacks when they are in public places, such as shopping malls, public transportation, or crowded areas.

2. _Avoidance Behaviors_: Avoiding social situations, events, or activities that involve leaving the house or being in public.

3. _Dependence on Others_: Relying on others, such as family members or friends, to accompany them in public or perform tasks for them.

4. _Hypervigilance_: Being constantly on the lookout for potential dangers or threats, such as crowds, noise, or unfamiliar environments.

5. _Physical Symptoms_: Experiencing physical symptoms, such as a racing heart, sweating, or trembling, when they are in public or anticipating a public situation.

Challenges of Dealing with Agoraphobia

Dealing with agoraphobia can be challenging for several reasons:

1. _Limited Access to Resources_: Agoraphobia can limit a person's access to resources, such as employment, education, or social services, which can exacerbate feelings of isolation and anxiety.

2. _Social Isolation_: Agoraphobia can lead to social isolation, which can worsen symptoms of anxiety, depression, and trauma.

3. _Difficulty with Daily Tasks_: Agoraphobia can make it difficult to perform daily tasks, such as grocery shopping, paying bills, cleaning the house, self Hygiene, or attending appointments.

4. _Impact on Relationships_: Agoraphobia can strain relationships with family and friends, who may not understand the condition or may feel frustrated by the person's avoidance behaviors.

5. _Stigma and Shame_: Agoraphobia can be stigmatized, and individuals may feel ashamed or embarrassed about their condition, which can prevent them from seeking help.

Daily Struggles of an Adult Child with Agoraphobia

An adult child with agoraphobia may struggle with:

1. _Morning Anxiety_: Waking up with anxiety or dread about facing the day and potential public situations.

2. _Avoiding Appointments_: Avoiding medical appointments, therapy sessions, or other important events due to fear of public places.

3. _Limited Social Life_: Having a limited social life due to avoidance of social situations or public events.

4. _Difficulty with Self-Care_: Struggling to perform self-care tasks, such as exercise, due to fear of public places or crowds.

5. _Feelings of Guilt and Shame_: Experiencing feelings of guilt and shame about their condition, which can worsen symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Why Children Run Away from Home: The Impact of Narcissistic Mothers

Running away from home is a desperate attempt by children to escape the emotional pain, abuse, and neglect they experience at the hands of their narcissistic mother. Children who grow up in a household with a narcissistic mother may feel like they are walking on eggshells, never knowing when their mother's mood will shift or when they will be criticized, belittled, or punished.

Reasons Why Children Run Away from Home

Children may run away from home for various reasons, including:

1. _Emotional Abuse_: Children may feel emotionally abused, neglected, or unloved, leading them to seek escape from the toxic environment.

2. _Physical Abuse_: Children may experience physical abuse, such as hitting, pushing, or slapping, which can lead to a desire to flee the home.

3. _Lack of Emotional Support_: Children may feel like they have no one to turn to, no emotional support, and no safe space to express their feelings.

4. _Gaslighting and Manipulation_: Narcissistic mothers may use gaslighting and manipulation tactics to control their children, making them feel crazy, guilty, or responsible for their mother's behavior.

5. _Fear of Abandonment_: Children may fear being abandoned or rejected by their mother, leading them to run away as a way to avoid the emotional pain of being left behind.

The Impact of Being Told "You're the Problem"

When children are told that they are the problem, that they are the reason for their mother's behavior, it can have a profound impact on their self-esteem, self-worth, and mental health. This type of messaging can lead to:

1. _Internalized Shame and Guilt_: Children may internalize the shame and guilt, feeling like they are inherently flawed or defective.

2. _Low Self-Esteem_: Children may develop low self-esteem, feeling like they are not good enough, smart enough, or lovable enough.

3. _Anxiety and Depression_: Children may experience anxiety and depression, feeling like they are walking on eggshells, never knowing when their mother's mood will shift.

4. _Difficulty with Emotional Regulation_: Children may struggle with emotional regulation, feeling like they are unable to manage their emotions or express themselves in a healthy way.

The Long-Term Effects of Running Away from Home

Running away from home can have long-term effects on a child's life, including:

1. _Difficulty with Trust_: Children may struggle with trust issues, feeling like they cannot trust others or themselves.

2. _Anxiety and Depression_: Children may experience anxiety and depression, feeling like they are always on the lookout for potential dangers or threats.

3. _Substance Abuse_: Children may turn to substance abuse as a way to cope with the emotional pain and trauma they experienced.

4. _Difficulty with Intimacy_: Children may struggle with intimacy, feeling like they are unable to form healthy, loving relationships.

Remember, running away from home is not a solution to the problem, but rather a symptom of a larger issue. It's essential to address the underlying trauma and abuse, rather than blaming the child for their behavior. By providing a safe, supportive, and non-judgmental space, we can help children heal and recover from the trauma of growing up with a narcissistic mother.

The Dangers of Allowing a Child to Run Away and Neglecting Their Safety

When a child runs away from home, they are often fleeing from a situation that feels unbearable or threatening to them. However, running away can also put them in danger, and neglecting their safety can have severe and long-lasting consequences.

Dangers of Running Away

Some of the dangers that a child may face when running away from home include:

1. _Physical Harm_: A child may be at risk of physical harm, such as injury, assault, or exploitation, when they are on the streets or in unfamiliar environments.

2. _Emotional Trauma_: Running away can be emotionally traumatic, and a child may experience feelings of fear, anxiety, and depression.

3. _Substance Abuse_: A child may turn to substance abuse as a way to cope with the emotional pain and trauma they are experiencing.

4. _Sexual Exploitation_: A child may be at risk of sexual exploitation, including prostitution, human trafficking, or other forms of abuse.

5. _Homelessness_: A child may become homeless, which can lead to a range of other problems, including poverty, hunger, and poor health.

6. _Loss of Education_: A child may miss out on education, which can have long-term consequences for their future prospects and well-being.

7. _Mental Health Issues_: Running away can exacerbate existing mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

8. _Difficulty with Trust_: A child may struggle with trust issues, feeling like they cannot trust others or themselves.

9. _Increased Risk of Suicide_: A child may be at increased risk of suicide, particularly if they are experiencing feelings of hopelessness, despair, or isolation.

Dangers of Neglecting a Child's Safety

Neglecting a child's safety can have severe and long-lasting consequences, including:

1. _Increased Risk of Harm_: A child may be at increased risk of physical or emotional harm if their safety is neglected.

2. _Loss of Trust_: A child may lose trust in their caregivers or authorities, which can make it more difficult for them to seek help or support in the future.

3. _Difficulty with Emotional Regulation_: A child may struggle with emotional regulation, feeling like they are unable to manage their emotions or express themselves in a healthy way.

4. _Increased Risk of Substance Abuse_: A child may be at increased risk of substance abuse, particularly if they are experiencing emotional pain or trauma.

5. _Difficulty with Intimacy_: A child may struggle with intimacy, feeling like they are unable to form healthy, loving relationships.

6. _Increased Risk of Mental Health Issues_: A child may be at increased risk of mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, or PTSD, if their safety is neglected.

7. _Loss of Opportunities_: A child may miss out on opportunities, such as education or career advancement, if their safety is neglected.

8. _Difficulty with Self-Esteem_: A child may struggle with self-esteem, feeling like they are not worthy of love, care, or respect.

9. _Increased Risk of Exploitation_: A child may be at increased risk of exploitation, including emotional, physical, or financial exploitation.

The Distinction between a Narcissist & an Empath with Narcissistic Tendencies

Narcissistic personality disorder is a complex and multifaceted condition that can be challenging to understand and navigate. While both narcissists and empaths with narcissistic tendencies can exhibit similar behaviors, there are distinct differences between the two.

Narcissists: Aware but Unwilling to Change

Narcissists are often aware of their problematic behavior, but they don't care about the impact it has on others. They may even be vocal about their refusal to change, citing their "right" to behave as they please. Narcissists tend to:

1. *Lack empathy*: They struggle to understand and relate to the feelings and needs of others.

2. *Be self-centered*: Their primary focus is on themselves, their own needs, and their own desires.

3. *Manipulate and exploit*: They use charm, guilt, and coercion to get what they want from others.

4. *Refuse accountability*: They blame others, make excuses, or deny responsibility for their actions.

5. *Prioritize their own interests*: They put their own needs and desires above those of others, even if it means harming or exploiting them.

Narcissists often know they have a problem, but they don't see it as a problem. They may even take pride in their ability to manipulate and control others. They are unlikely to seek help or change their behavior, as they believe they are entitled to your respect without putting in the effort to change their behavior.

Empaths with Narcissistic Tendencies: Aware and Motivated to Change

Empaths, on the other hand, are highly sensitive and empathetic individuals who have developed narcissistic tendencies as a result of childhood trauma and abuse. They may exhibit similar behaviors to narcissists, such as:

1. *People-pleasing*: They may try to appease others to avoid conflict or rejection.

2. *Self-doubt*: They may struggle with feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem.

3. *Emotional reactivity*: They may become overly emotional or reactive in response to stress or triggers.

4. *Boundary issues*: They may struggle to set and maintain healthy boundaries with others.

However, unlike narcissists, empaths with narcissistic tendencies:

1. *Recognize their flaws*: They are aware of their problematic behavior and are motivated to change.

2. *Take responsibility*: They acknowledge their mistakes and take steps to make amends.

3. *Seek help and support*: They are willing to seek therapy, counseling, or support groups to work through their issues.

4. *Prioritize self-awareness and growth*: They strive to understand themselves and others, and to develop healthier relationships and communication patterns.

Empaths with narcissistic tendencies are often deeply unhappy with their behavior and are driven to change. They may feel ashamed or guilty about their actions and are willing to do the work necessary to overcome their flaws and develop more empathetic and compassionate relationships with others.

Key Differences

The primary differences between narcissists and empaths with narcissistic tendencies are:

1. *Motivation*: Narcissists are motivated by a desire for power, control, and self-aggrandizement, while empaths are motivated by a desire to understand and connect with others.

2. *Empathy*: Narcissists lack empathy, while empaths are highly empathetic and sensitive to the feelings and needs of others.

3. *Accountability*: Narcissists refuse to take responsibility for their actions, while empaths acknowledge their mistakes and take steps to make amends.

4. *Personal growth*: Narcissists are unlikely to seek help or change their behavior, while empaths are motivated to learn, grow, and develop healthier relationships and communication patterns.

In conclusion, while both narcissists and empaths with narcissistic tendencies can exhibit problematic behavior, the key differences lie in their motivation, empathy, accountability, and willingness to change. Empaths with narcissistic tendencies are aware of their flaws and are motivated to change, whereas narcissists are aware of their behavior but refuse to change.

Healing and Recovery

If you're an adult child of a narcissistic mother, it's essential to recognize that you're not alone, and there is hope for healing and recovery. Some steps you can take include:

1. *Seeking therapy*: Work with a therapist who specializes in narcissistic personality disorder and trauma to process your emotions and develop coping strategies.

2. *Setting boundaries*: Establish clear boundaries with your mother to protect your emotional well-being and maintain a sense of self.

3. *Self-care*: Prioritize self-care, engaging in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfillment.

4. *Support groups*: Join a support group or online community to connect with others who have experienced similar challenges.

5. *Education and self-awareness*: Learn about narcissistic personality disorder, its effects on children, and the importance of self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-care.

Remember, healing from a narcissistic mother's behavior takes time, patience, and support. Be gentle with yourself, and don't hesitate to reach out for help when you need it.

Recovery Stages:

1. *Awareness*: Recognizing the trauma and its effects on your life. 😧

2. *Acceptance*: Accepting the trauma and its impact on your relationships and self-esteem. 😐

3. *Grief*: Processing the emotions and grief associated with the trauma. 😓

4. *Anger*: Acknowledging and expressing anger towards your mother and the trauma. 😡

5. *Forgiveness*: Forgiving yourself and your mother, not for her sake, but for yours. 😮‍💨

6. *Healing*: Engaging in self-care, therapy, and support groups to rebuild your self-esteem and develop a sense of self-worth. 🤕

7. *Integration*: Integrating the traumatic experiences into your narrative, developing a sense of self-awareness, and moving forward with your 🤨

Closing the Chapter on Narcissistic Abuse: Finding Closure and Moving On

As you prepare to say goodbye to your mom and close the chapter on narcissistic abuse, it's essential to acknowledge the pain and trauma you've endured. It's understandable that you're seeking closure, but it's crucial to recognize that closure may not come in the way you expect. Your mom's refusal to work on herself and acknowledge her narcissistic tendencies means that you may never receive the apology or validation you deserve.

_Accepting the Lack of Closure Truly Desired_

Instead of waiting for closure, focus on accepting the reality of your situation. Recognize that your mom's behavior is not your responsibility, and you cannot force her to change or seek help. Accept that you've done everything you can to address the issues and that it's time to move on.

_Finding Closure Within Yourself_

Closure is not something that someone else can give you; it's something you must find within yourself. Through therapy and self-reflection, you've gained a deeper understanding of your mom's behavior and the impact it's had on your life. You've also developed the skills and strategies to protect yourself from further manipulation and abuse.

_Proud of Your Progress_

Be proud of the progress you've made in recognizing and addressing the narcissistic abuse. It takes immense courage and strength to confront the trauma and pain of your past. Acknowledge the efforts you've put into therapy, self-care, and personal growth. Celebrate the fact that you're no longer blind to your mom's manipulation and that you're taking steps to break free from her toxic influence.

_Letting Go of the Need for Validation_

It's essential to let go of the need for validation from your mom. You don't need her approval or acknowledgment to be worthy or deserving of love and respect. You are enough, regardless of her opinion or behavior. Remember that you've been brainwashed into seeking her validation, but you're now free to break free from that cycle.

_Moving On & Healing_

As you move on from this chapter of your life, focus on healing and growth. Prioritize self-care, surround yourself with supportive people, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Remember that healing is a journey, and it's okay to take your time. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate this new chapter.

_Wrapping Up and Saying Goodbye_

As you wrap up this blog and say goodbye to your mom, remember that you're not saying goodbye to the pain or trauma. You're saying goodbye to the toxic relationship and the hold it's had on your life. You're taking back control and choosing to prioritize your own well-being and happiness.

_Final Thoughts_

In closing, remember that you are strong, capable, and deserving of love and respect. You've survived the unimaginable, and you're now thriving. Don't let your mom's behavior define you; instead, define yourself by your strength, resilience, and courage. Keep moving forward, and know that you're not alone. There are people who care about you and want to support you on your journey towards healing and growth.

_Goodbye, Mom_

As I say goodbye to you, Mom, I want you to know that I'm not saying goodbye to the memories or the experiences we shared. I'm saying goodbye to the toxic relationship and the pain you've caused me. I'm taking back control of my life, and I'm choosing to prioritize my own well-being and happiness. I hope that one day you'll seek help and work on yourself, but until then, I need to protect myself and move on.

_The End_

This is the end of this chapter, but it's not the end of my story. I'm excited to see what the future holds, and I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned and the growth I've experienced. Thank you to everyone who has supported me on this journey, and I hope that my story can help others who are struggling with narcissistic abuse.