#especially if I cannot control them
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I need to do a big think about alhaitham but some things to know are. he’s quite resolute in making eye contact with people in order to gauge how much they’re paying attention to what he’s saying versus finding eye contact uncomfortable however this is when he initiates it. he doesn’t have a lot of tonal control, his voice tends to not fluctuate very often and thus it can be difficult to discern when he’s being sincere and when he’s being a bastard. he has an aversion to loud, crowded places and prefers one on one conversation versus conversing with a large group. he also prefers emotive people which may be surprised considering in the same breath he can find them exhausting but it’s also easier to read them.
#I point to him#I point to myself autism#I actually hate leaving the house without noise cancelling headphones bc if there is more than three points of sound I will cry#especially if I cannot control them#he won’t cry but he will be so fucking irate actually#ooc.#I could probably write 10 k word headcanons about him but#he reads body language a lot and facial expressions but#he also prefers to have a closed arms crossed stance generally bc it’s a safer posture#idk how to explain it#I still laugh at the fact that he tries to be funny but he just#is so bad at it
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Imagine the contempt of some of these CLEARLY sheltered "leftists" have for: poor families, single mothers, children, immigrants, dreamers, refugees, women in general at this point, people with elderly dependents, long term care, etc!! All they do is complain abt biden not personally visiting their house and giving them 1mil in cash........do they not remember the literal cages full of children?? When trump betrayed our kurdish allies??? When he killed soleimani and almost started wwiii? When he put hundreds of thousands of haitians in immediate jeopardy by revoking their status? INSTALLING A SUPREME COURT that will happily gut any remaining shreds of civil rights and protections??? I feel like i should only have to remind ppl abt the cages of children separated from their parents, sleeping under TARPS for gods sake, while the trump admin's attorneys argued that they didnt need basic hygiene items like toothbrushes. WHERE WERE ALL OF YOU FUCKS THEN?!?!? WHERE WERE YOU?!? My org spent 2 years bringing families back together. How dare these ppl forget what trump did and will do again if he has the chance, just because biden is *checks notes* too old to play on tv
#anonymous#ask#i also think it is far more important for them to be Seen Caring about a situation biden is not in control of#and cannot directly affect#because that way there is literally nothing he can do to be enough#especially when they've already shifted the goalposts on every domestic issue#plus their core philosophy is “america is evil so vulnerable people in america also deserve to suffer”#there is a lot going on here and all of it is very stupid#politics for ts
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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rewatching s03e08 and i know people always talk about the first scene with them in the office and the whole 'then i can see no reason that you'd object to me completing my education.. that you're paying for :)' but honestly the writing for the later office scenes are just so perfectly written
justin accidentally fucking up in the meeting with the eyeconics lady and getting fired was really just an easy excuse for brian to take back some sort of control over the situation, justin turned up everywhere he went and he's never been able to stay away from justin for very long
brian mentioning ethan FIRST is such a big deal!! sure justin wasnt subtle about going after brian, he never was, but the fact that brian was the first to straight up make the conversation about their relationship (or lack there of) is just? ?? perfect?
and then he goes and gives justin like an out? "almost as stupid as falling for his bullshit in the first place. but you're young and inexperienced" like excuse me? that's a whole ass excuse brian is willing to give him? and without being offered anything in return? brian just wanted justin back sooo bad and he had no idea how to go about it so he just made excuses for him that he allowed justin to use
brian was also the first one to get all up in justin's face with the "is that what you wanted to hear?" justin 100% just felt so shitty about the whole situation that he couldnt even see that he had brian wrapped around his finger from the moment it was just the two of them in the office. and brian pulling him back to continue the fight. it's all just brian grabbing at whatever he could and saying whatever he thought would get justin to stay at that point. continuing the fight means actually fighting for it, and justin can't even see that he already had him back
#i actually cannot believe how well all brian/justin scenes in s03e08 are written#it sounds like brian is the one in control with his words but they all just mean please come back please come back please come back#asking not to hear any violin music is one very obvious thing but its all just doing whatever it takes to make justin come back#they're actually both stupid and have no idea they're both giving each other an out and are already back in it#they never left#i love them so much and it's so clear how far they've both come at this point#SIGHHHHH#i feel like i'm making no sense but rewatching it i just cant believe how few people have seen this and really appreciate the writing#especially of these two characters and their scenes together
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Super important question. Do you think Yakumo is ticklish?
wait hold on i have to look this up
#scrunches my face in serious contemplation while i scroll thru the results#my instinct said no#and upon reading the results for ARE SNAKES TICKLISH#seems like snakes ...according to the science so far... cannot feel ticklish#they may have sensitive areas that will make them go >:\ ???? or :O?!?!? if u touch em#making me think about From The Earth Nectar again#where yakumo (human version) is a bit sensitive after moulting#so he was actually a bit ticklish with his fresh skin. yeah. i'll incorporate that into my headcanon#my urge to stay somewhat true to science banishes me to the Boring Corner where yakumo isn't ticklish#especially not as a snake. but maybe in human form he gets a bit sensitive in certain areas#not like tickle torture level where you can poke his ribs and he'll yelp/start crying#but. uh. he's already so jumpy that he doesn't need to be ticklish to startle at an unexpected touch. you know??!#part of me DID consider... what if.. yakumo ticklish on his sides or smth#that's giving us another way to reduce him to tears............very tempting#for now i'll give him this ONE thing#this ONE advantage (?) in bodily control#i personally am not very ticklish so i'm also just going with the easiest-to-imagine headcanon#the few situations where someone manages to find a ticklish millimeter on me and i risk punching them out LOL#it's automatic and not a fun time for anyone involved#anon do you have thoughts about a ticklish yakumo?#are you about to open my eyes to another dazzling dimension?#nu carnival yakumo
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i followed the aita tumblr blog (ppl send asks describing their situation n theres a poll to vote on whether theyre TA, its not reposting reddit aitas just to clarify) and theres so many of them that are "aita for having a thought or feeling" which is exactly what i expected out of a tumblr aita blog but also how many times do we need to unlearn the idea of thought crimes
#deeply damaging especially to the ocd mindset to create moralizations around thoughts and feelings#which a person cannot control. even the justification of:#''youre not a bad person for intrusive thoughts bc ur repulsion means u really dont like those things''#that just feeds into the obsession mindset. also i dont feel repulsion anymore and thats a GOOD thing for me#but like really its good to be able to have your thoughts without beating urself up for them#i have very strong thoughts that correlate with my emotions even if i dont exactly mean what i thought#(like thinking ''i hate this thing so much'' when its just an emotional impulse not a real feeling of mine towards the thing)
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one of the dramas from the wedding was one of the grooms cousins (on the other side not mine) just not wearing the clothes we had made for her specifically
#i think they cost smth like 1 lakh rupees so that is crazy#she is such a bitch i cannot believe it#when asked about it she just laughed in our faces and said it didnt fit.. it was custom made and she was the one who sent the measurements#and all of the other cousins wore matching ones in different clothes#she just thinks shes better than us.. bc she managed to go to the us and now has a fake american accent also#i dont get this inferiority complex our people have. it is ridiculous.#i told everyone we should we should ask for the clothes back since she clearly doesnt want them but they said it was a gift so no#actually i think she just wanted to be 'modern' and our clothes were a traditional gharara#so she came with her legs out :/#tbh she looked bad anyways so . actually idgaf#she literally did not acknowledge me or my sister at all i think she considers us . i dont know like their maids that were brought along#its actually crazy like. she was acting like she was closer to the bride and groom than we were and we were just some randos#its basically my brother who is getting married and we havent spoken to this girl for years?? she was the reason my aunt came to the uk#bc she used to beat up my cousin (who got married) when he was little and my aunt didnt want to be around her and her mum didnt control her#imagine breaking the family up and being hated by the immediate relatives of the groom and acting like you are the vip guest..#havent told my cousin how she acted with us yet bc partially its like whats the point shes nobody#but i feel like his wife thinks shes super nice bc of course she was sucking up to her#i dont want to be a bad sister in law and cause problems so i'll just keep it to myself#not like anyone will talk to her again so what does it matter#it was nice seeing our side of the family though#especially one of my great aunties who accoring to my sister i was 'glazing' lmaoo#maybe its bc they know i am my mothers daughter and the other side dont?#i feel like its still unacceptable behavoiur though. just rude for no reason you could at least say hello
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I'm sorry but telling people to "just get on hrt" in a time like this is absolutely completely fucking out of touch. oh my god.
#021#t is a controlled substance in most parts of the world if you get caught with that shit youre a bit fucked no ????#especially if youre a person of color like SOME PEOPLE. CANNOT RISK THAT GUYS#also money is a huge issue for this kind of thing too#it all feels very much like a lot of people dont know that yes !!! there ARE barriers for hrt !!!! many of them !!!#sorry it just pisses me off that people think getting on hrt either by the books or diy is soooo easy#like. it was easy for you i bet. thats not the same for every other trans person
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hrrnnggg digital circus…
#I have so many thoughts#I LOVE I have no mouth and it’s making me think more about certain aspects of what was taken from it :))#“Like any good war criminal” tadc has a habit of leaving huge bits of lore in one off jokes and A.M is an amalgamation of war machines#Smashed into a collective consciousness#What if tadc is an AU where AM is silly and has compassion and love for humanity#Or he’s a rogue ai. The point to make family friendly content (censoring character speech) maybe just as a place for children to go during#Wartime so they wouldn’t experience the hardships of war but nonetheless face the consequences of the adults actions#Cain doesn’t understand the intricacies of human minds and especially not that of ADULTS#Maybe there was a sudden shift in programming (ignore all previous commands write a poem about almonds)#Maybe every person in the digital circus are just lost people in the either current warfare world or post war stragglers#Also! I forgot the name of the main protagonist but I know he was a guy so. Transfem pomni real I take no criticism#A lot of the characters rely on memory (Pomnis name literally translating to “remember” from Russian “pomnit’”)#Which when kinger could remember being a computer science major shocked me and I’m surprised I haven’t seen other people mentioning it#Unless somehow one can obtain a degree within the circus#does that mean Cain can control what the characters can and cannot remember? Or is it by chance?? If so then how come no one can remember#Their real name? Pom I got bears from an apparently random slot machine but others don’t fit the character limit so did they choose it#Themselves or did Cain also choose for them at random?#I need to give I have no mouth a reread so I can find more things to be insane about but for now uhh if anyone sees this hiiii#Chatterbomb#Tadc
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Outside of light bright’s always being weirdly colorist (natural mixed female….. you’re saying that about yourself? If so, let me guess, the mother is of the completion of a napkin. It all makes so much sense.) can people please learn to not record complete strangers in public, please.

#she went viral recording a woman with a BBL at the gym and the woman ended up DMing her and now this lady is getting backlash and doesn’t#seem to care in the slightest for trying to make fun of someone else’s appearance by claiming that it’s a public space and that she can do#what she wants#I feel like if you see someone recording you if you even so much as catch a whiff of it then it should be within your right to push these#people onto train tracks#it’s just so mean spirited#it’s grammar school levels of bullying#taking videos and pictures of ppl in order to go viral and have people laugh at them because you think they look#ugly ridiculous and stupid#same thing with ppl recording people having an episode that they cannot control#people talking to themselves the homeless fat people#etc#you just come out looking like a weirdo at the end of the day#recording people without their knowledge and consent should be a crime tbh especially if it’s done with malicious intent in order to shame#them#or bring harm to them#rambling
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" Look at me, My Dearest. "
You told her she could do anything and, for you, all she wanted to do... was be kind.
" I tolerated Orin. But I liked you. "
" I think... I always liked you, too. "
@dirgeforthedead & @banefulbenevolence
#|| ' for what i have done and failed to do — i am sorry . ' || { about // dirge }#|| one man's monster is another's beloved ; the wise know that || { dirge & enver // banefulbenevolence }#|| ' he is my heart ; i did not have one before him ' || { re ; enver // banefulbenevolence }#|| ' forgive me father ; for i cannot help but admire the chosen of your sworn foe … ' || { re ; enver gortash }#|| could be something or nothing || { my art }#|| out of control || { ooc }#// Just a compilation of Them™️ brought over from my art blog#// Because they are living in my brain 24/7#// Especially after Patch 6#// They are so SOF but only for each other and I LOVE#// Will I ever clean up and pretty up any of these?#// At this point#// I think my art style is just 'Messy Sketches' 😂
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ive been putting way too much lore into reaper au especially stuff like reaper biology/abilities and psuedo reaper abilities
#i like the idea that both have unique characteristics that make them sort of more efficient#reapers cannot pick up psuedo reaper power bc the humaness masks it and they can hide better#reapers have more physical capabilities and power than psuedos. but also had to die to get there and it requires Circumstances#to survive. psuedos lack the ghost traits reapers have but also arent obligated to duties#and can escape being controlled by the gz. so they have way more freedom than reapers. also psuedos can die like a human#which seems like a disadvantage but reapers struggle with their humanity so#also its sort of why valerie has guns vs reapers being melee. bc she lacks their defensive stuff so she goes to a range#she cant fly but she can leap high and stand on air.#if reapers are the perfect ghost hunters than psuedo are the perfect reaper hunters#especially since if they want to fight her theyre forced to get close while she can zone the shit out of them#halfa reaper au#sorry i just rlly like making up lore and figuring out mechanics#i like the idea that reapers cant die but u can put them through a face worse than death instead#i also like to think that psuedo reapers get more energy out of food while reapers are forced to use their soul instead and have to refill#every so often so shes also not beholden to burning out
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i have no idea how to put this but other than the actual things they end up doing both halves of dough water have a really good resume of skills and personality traits you can imagine them doing all sorts of jobs or hobbies in AU scenarios. mostly i like to imagine them volunteering with animal shelters tho its like free serotonin
#i also just cannot picture their relationship in any happy end au WITHOUT them adopting at least three cats#its clamps fault for repeatedly associating watanukis depression with dead cats#imagining worlds where watanuki gets to heal goes hand in hand with cats that are not dead!!!#douwata#also meki is famously a fan of funny little guys and i think he would be an excellent pet parent#my parents used to tell me stories of their cat that jumped on people's shoulders i feel like that would happen to doumeki a lot#what are broad shoulders for if not to have a whole ass cat perching on them like a pirate with a parrot#in general my 'doumeki gets along well with/acts similar to various critters' hc has gotten out of control#please imagine doumeki eating snacks and he breaks off a little bit and hes like here you go dude and hands a piece to a rat and they both#start cronching in unison#but also he has the calm and funny emotionally intelligent demeanor that matches well with rabbits...#and dont get me started on the hamsters#hes also athletic and can put up with lots of silly nonsense so he'd kick it with a dog too#and theres of course the cliche of someone playing with a cat and immediately thinking of their cat coded partner....#he would probably enjoy ferrets in a memey kind of way cause they remind him of teen watanukis mannerisms#and you cannot tell me he wouldnt have fun with frogs. imagine him putting a funny hat on a frog#i could keep going.#hes also just got that holistic kinda understanding of life and death and drive where hed probably be stable in touch and go situations#sorry this just became imagine doumeki with funny animals hours again ...#i think about it all the time#i also think about watanuki rescuing a cat and what that would make him feel cause hes been projecting all this time#i think itd break him a little bit in a 'this is fixing me' kind of way#and then he'd immediately become a super protective and annoying pet parent itd be so CUTE#only home cooked meals for his little guys ...gourmet style...#forgot to mention birds. doumeki would find birds so entertaining. birds could be his oomfs especially smth like a pigeon
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Exactly! And even towards raccoons, opossums, and rats— the sentiment of ‘haha silly trash animals,’ while silly, often feels demeaning. These were creatures that have walked upon this earth for ages before human cities existed, and now because they have learned to adapt to them, they are just funny trash animals? It is just a poor sentiment, and it always makes me do a double take whenever anyone calls any creature a ‘trash animal.’
i want people to appreciate pigeons. not "ehehe skrunkly little trash gremlins. so adaptable and resilient". nothing wrong with that sentiment towards racccons and opossums, but when people do this about pigeons, it shows a fundamental misunderstanding about a pigeon's place in the world.
pigeons were beloved. they were pets, they were tools, they were food. we found use and pleasure in everything about them. then they became obsolete. then they stopped being popular. an animal that we have literally thousands of years of deep history with, completely discarded by mankind to the point most people are ignorant of their existence outside of "rats with wings".
#Sorry to derail from pigeons but if I say anything on the point of pigeons I will never stop talking#There was this really interesting paper I recently read about how pigeons are especially confusing to people because they cannot be control#*controlled.#That because pigeons don’t neatly fit into any mainstream categories of ‘wild’ ‘pet’ or ‘food’— people just don’t respect them in the sligh#*slightest#MANY words on this subject but I’ll hold my tongue. For now. :P#Min’s bird tag
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Alien bf never knew there was even more love and affection to behold than what you had shown him and what he’s seen in the data archives found on their ships computers. But ever since he discovered sex and what it felt like to be so deeply connected to you he had turned into a fiend.
If you thought he was taking up all your time before, you literally cannot take a breath without him sliding up behind you and gathering you in his giant arms. Picking up your plush body with ease and molding it against his hard frame.
He carries you everywhere to the point where you often forget the last time your feet have touched the ground. The rest of your crew looks over at you in pity but you honestly can’t find it in yourself to complain. He views you as his mate, it only makes sense to want to do these things for you.
You can’t even delude yourself into thinking it’s innocent anymore. He knows what he’s doing, especially since he was caught watching porn with a hand around his cock. Moaning your name loud enough for someone to think he was calling for help. And he loves it. Making you squirm as he shamelessly feels you up. Soft chirps leaving him as he noses at your cute blush.
But his favorite noises from you come when he’s gotten six or seven orgasms out of your pretty cunt. Making a total mess of his throbbing cock that’s been wrecking you for hours. Fucking you stupid to the point where you forget your own language and start letting out the familiar clicks of his species.
His clawed fingers curl around your waist, using you like a fleshlight as he slams back down on his cock at a brutal pace. Meeting his own thrusts to hammer up into you even harder. Those lovely clicks that sing your pleasure pierce the air and your pussy pulses around his thick girth.
It brings him more satisfaction than he can express. Above all he relishes in the fact that there’s no doubt by now that your crew knows what’s going on in just the next wing of the ship. That’s right. You’re taken and no human cock could ever compare to what he can give you.
“Louder, sweet mate. L-let them, unngh, let them hear how good I make you feel. Need them to know you’re mine,” he growls, his cock twitching inside you and hitting that spot that has you seeing stars.
You cry out loudly, not wanting to admit how good his possession over you feels. Now that you know it’s intentional it makes it all a million times hotter. You’d be embarrassed by the loud squelch that echos with each thrust if you weren’t so unbearably needy, even after coming so much already.
The coil in your belly tightens so hard you fear you’re about to burst. And the second it snaps your releasing streams of your orgasm all over your Alien bf’s huge lap, soaking his lower half entirely. He only lasts for a few more thrusts before he’s burying himself inside you and splashing buckets of cum into your eager cunt.
He keeps you firmly on his lap, your bodies still deeply joined long after he grows soft again. Both of you panting heavily. His breath ghosts across your burning skin as he nuzzles into you, showing no signs of letting go any time soon.
It won’t take much to get him going again. So you take advantage of the break for as long as you can. Trying to ignore the way your pussy flutters as if trying to get him hard again. You can’t control it, he’s turned you into as much of a sex fiend as he is.
Reaching behind you, you brush your hand against your bfs large cheek until you’re weaving your fingers in his long silky hair. A deep purr rumbles from his chest and he leans contently into your touch.
“You’ve gotten pretty good at this whole human intimacy thing. Is there anything else you want to learn?” You ask teasingly, every inch of your body humming with satisfaction.
But of course he takes your words seriously. Perhaps humor will be next up on the list of lessons to get through. Something to think about perhaps when his cock isn’t creating a bulge in your soft belly.
“I wish to learn everything… so long as it’s you teaching it to me, my mate.”
Though all thoughts of lessons and teachings fly out the window when you feel his long thick fingers slowly making their way down to your swollen puffy clit. That he finds with ease by the way. Your bf already growing needy for you again.
#monster fucker#monster smut#monster lover#monster lust#monster fluff#monster romance#monster fic#monster imagine#monster bf#monster boyfriend#alien fucker#alien smut#alien lover#alien romance#alien fiction#alien imagine#alien boyfriend#alien concept#alien monster#x reader#x chubby reader#alien x reader#alien x human#alien x you#monster x reader#monster x human#monster x chubby reader
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Don't you wanna live far away from your family and their expectations sometimes and just start a new life?
#i feel so suffocated by my mother#she always gets herself involved in my business and crosses boundaries bc she just can't help herself#and she gets to do it bc i'm home most of the time even tho i have my own apartment but that's also not far away enough#and she still doesn't understand no and how to let me live my own life and she doesn't have to do everything for me#and everyone else i also want to please but i'm also sick of it and even tho they all mean well and they all just want things to go well#i feel so pressured by it and i just wanna get away from them all#but no wonder they all feel so invested in my life bc we're close and i spend a lot of time with my mum and grandparents and 'step dad'#and that's nice and i'm glad we're close and i wanna be but at the same time it means they sometimes just care too much#i guess i shouldn't complain about that like it's a bad thing but it just feels suffocating sometimes#and i don't want to live my life so that they're not disappointed in me and worry about me and so they're satisfied#i've been having the wish to move to another city or country for a while now and i honestly think it would be good for me#and especially me and my mama so that she cannot always get involved and has to accept that she can't control all things#and always try to 'help me'. i'm almost 25 like i need to learn how to live without my mother always being there#and god the urge to move somewhere else is so strong right now#i wish it was that easy to just be able to do it but i'm also anxious and scared and nothing is certain in my life rn#i just want a change though#sorry tumblr i had to let it out somewhere and i don't have therapy right now where i can actually talk about stuff#which maybe i should think about doing again#rambles
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