#everybody always agreeing correcting or countering...what happened to said...what happened to hello...

[bookwyrminspiration]

i've noticed something

[beautifulletdownfics]

Twenty Good Reasons :: Part Four

Hello! Welcome to the ‘Someday, Someday’ sequel! I hope you’ll enjoy your time here! Before you start, make sure you check out the Harry & Nina Chronology page to catch up on a few of the drabbles and novellas that slot in the gap between ‘Someday, Someday’ and ‘Twenty Good Reasons’. As always, please don’t be strangers, posting into the void is a terrifying thing! Love K x

++

Harry

We had a bad week after New York.

I posted a photo of Nina on Instagram when we went out for dinner the night after her interview. She thought it went well and came out with a big smile on her face, so I suggested treating ourselves while we were in the city. We went to the prestigious restaurant, The View, on the forty-seventh floor of The Empire State building and there was something about the soft lighting and the glow off the window that made Nina look absolutely gorgeous. So, I took a photo of her and explained it to the world with only a red, heart emoji.

I didn’t even think about the fact her engagement ring was in plain sight.

The fancy decor around us and the decadent looking dessert in front of Nina had everyone thinking I’d proposed that evening. In actual fact we had been engaged for almost a month and the real proposal involved muddy wellies, and dark chocolate digestives and tea as the celebratory meal. But by the time we were back in the apartment we were staying, the internet was alight with the ‘announcement’ of our engagement.

And it was fine, in a sense, because we hadn’t been hiding the fact we were engaged. Our families and our friends knew, and it was news that we weren’t going to be able to keep to ourselves forever. We had hoped for it to trickle out calmly. Perhaps it was both Nina and myself proving we were in denial a bit, that we didn’t want a big, public fuss to be made. Really though, the reality was that no matter how it was revealed, news that we were getting married was going to be made a fuss of.

So we got back to the apartment, took a few deep breaths and then started getting used to the idea of people knowing. Nina turned off her phone, and I talked to a publicist about them releasing the statement we wrote the week after we were first engaged, the one we wrote in preparation for the news coming out

Then, we made a pot of tea and watched an episode of America’s Next Top Model before bed.

The following evening though, things got a little bit hairy when it came to getting into JFK for a flight back home.

It seemed that because everybody knew we were in New York, even more paps were camped outside the airport knowing at some stage one or both of us would be heading back to the UK. And it was just their luck that we were going home together. Upon later reflection, I was glad it wasn’t just Nina on her own.

I knew as soon as we were out of the car to get into the terminal building that Nina wasn't okay. Her grip on my hand was a little too tight to just be so we didn't get separated in the crowd. I could feel the tips of her nails pressing into the skin above my knuckles and her palm was completely rigid in mine.

She didn't cry until we were in the first class lounge, and even then it wasn't until I had settled her on one of the couches and gone off to get us refreshments at the bar. We spent the next twenty minutes in the closest cuddle position appropriate in a private place and Nina sobbed into my chest while we waited for our flight to board. I knew they weren't tears of regret, but ones of fear and apprehension because she was about to get a whole lot of attention for the next little while. Attention she had managed in small doses over the years, but there would be nothing like what was to come.

The next thing happened when we walked in the door at home.

Nina turned on her phone after the flight and there was a missed call and voicemail message from the job interview. She called them back straight away with shaking hands after we had a quick discussion about what the time over there would be.

She sat down on the sofa as soon as someone answered on the other end, I sat on top of the coffee table in front of her, our knees bumping together. I reached out for her free hand when she said she was fine with being put on hold as her call was directed to the correct person.

I became clear pretty quickly than Nina didn’t get the job. From the way her eyebrows drew together and her voice became her small, quiet one I knew what was being said to her was hurting. I felt an awful form of guilt, or something equally as horrific, watching the person I cherished most in the world getting kicked when she was already down. I wanted to take the phone off her instead of having to keep listening to Nina with her chin bravely up, thanking them for seeing her and considering her at all. In that moment, I didn’t dare let myself entertain the fact I might actually be to blame by being openly against the whole thing.

We didn't really talk about it until the next morning. I was keeping an eye on her but not pushing Nina to talk. I could tell the difference now—after more than four years together—between when Nina was processing, and when she was shutting down. And this time she needed to process.

When we did talk though, I could see the forced optimism behind her words—that she knew this wasn't the end of the world—but I could also see that in that moment she was still disappointed and upset. And because I didn't know what the best thing to do would be, I let her stay in that place.

It was at breakfast on our first Saturday morning home together that Nina declared bravely, “I’m okay, you know, Harry? I can tell you’ve been worried about me, but I’m okay, really.”

I carefully turned around to her, holding out the frying pan and scooping a spoonful of eggs onto her plate. She had been sitting, hand juicing oranges into little glasses for our breakfast, while I was in charge of the cooking of the hot foods. A few pieces of egg fell off the side of the plate and it was second nature for Nina to quickly scoop it up with her fingers and drop it onto the toast.

“I know you’re okay,” I said, almost sounding absentminded, but really I was distracting myself with our breakfast while my mind whirled through ways to keep everything okay, “I’m just …”

“You’re waiting for a breakdown,” She accused calmly, when I looked up at her she had a loving, gentle smile on her face.

It killed me, “Neens.”

“Really, I should be offended you have so little faith in my emotional state,” She joked, but it was an evil, self-loathing humour.

“Don’t,” I said darkly, “That’s not funny.”

She moved around the counter to put the juicer into the sink, her palm brushing around my side as she went, “Humour is a coping mechanism.”

“I know,” I replied quickly, turning around so I could keep watching her move, “Just tell me what’s going on in your head.”

Nina lent back against the sink, her legs looking longer than ever when she wore the little running shorts that had become Saturday’s uniform, “I didn’t get the job,” She shrugged, “There’s a bit of mess in my head, but I know there’ll be something else for me, some other job.”

My thoughts tripped on the mess in her head, “What’s the mess?”

Or you could write the damn symphony, I thought to myself.

“Just … You know, that I’m not good enough,” Nina gave nothing away on her face, which made it worse, “Or I’m not as good as I think I am. I’m self centred, stupid, facetious, undeserving.”

My gut instinct was to tell her to stop talking about herself like that, to stop thinking about herself like that, but I knew I needed to validate her feelings. I just hated that I knew exactly where that voice echoed from.

“That’s a load of fucking bullshit, Nina.” I began carefully, “You know you’ve worked hard, you know you have a boat load of talent.”

“I do,” She nodded, “Just hurts is all.”

It was her small sniff that got me, “C’mere.”

Nina stepped forward heavily, shoulders slumping the closer to me she got, “We’ll laugh about this later on.”

When she was pressed against my chest I pulled her against me as tightly as I could, “I could never laugh about a time when you think you’re any of those things you just told me.”

I felt Nina’s sigh all down my body, “Can we do something together today?”

With one more tight squeeze I let her go slowly, “Anything you like.”

*********

We didn’t do this nearly enough.

We packed a picnic rug into the back of the Rover and stopped off at our closest high street in Highgate. Nina picked all the food from the deli while I went into a cafe across the street to get take away coffees for us both. We met back at the car and it was then only a few minutes to get up to the furthest east side of Hampstead Heath, which somewhere along the line had become our favourite spot.

The walk wasn’t far to the big, old tree that we liked best. Nina lay out the blanket, half in the shade and half in the sun. I smiled to myself when she claimed the shaded spot and blurted out a pun to her that earned me a kick in the bum as I lowered myself down in the sunshine.

We chatted while we ate until we ended up lying side by side with empty containers littering the space around us. Nina’s head rested on my shoulder and my arm wound around her easily, her fingers looping through mine over her chest.

“What would happen if we slept out here?”

I hummed in thought at Nina’s question, grin cracking my eyes open despite the glare, “Probably not a lot. It’d get really cold and we would regret it, I imagine.”

Her voice sounded sleepy and drawn out, but happy, “I loved camping as a kid. We should try it at home, then if it sucks we can just go inside.”

“Solid plan,” I agreed.

Nina let out a long sigh then, her shoulders tensed with it and when she took the breath back it caught at the back of her throat, “I was going to say we should try it next weekend but with all the snow it’s likely we wouldn’t make it through the night.”

I ran my hand up and down her arm, “I’m not sure why you’re so nervous about going.”

“It’ll be fine,” She decided bravely, “I know that. And once we’re there it will be great to have everyone together for a bit.”

“Ah,” I caught onto the detail of what she’d said, even if Nina herself hadn’t meant to, “You’re nervous about the getting there bit.”

Nina sighed and rolled over onto her tummy beside me, “I didn’t enjoy coming back from New York last week.”

“Neither did I, Neens.”

“It’s alright,” She diverged bravely, “Plenty of time for sleeping in the garden after.”

After tour is what she meant, but we both knew it didn’t work to make plans for a time so far away. It was better to concentrate your time and energy on making things good at that time, instead of how we could fix things months later.

“We could try this week,” I humoured her, pressing my smiling lips to her temple, “But I’m not sure you’d look particularly cute frostbitten.”

“Don’t you have a hero complex?” She asked through a smile, “If I had frostbite you could save me.”

I shook my head, “Nope, I don’t find the thought of you injured at all appealing. No.”

She whacked my chest and I cracked into a grin at her laugh, “You’re the one who gets injured anyway, aren’t you?” Nina teased, “At least this time you have to be on your best behaviour before New York.”

“What?” I scoffed cheekily, “I could do an eight month tour with a broken leg. What are you implying?”

“Your leg definitely wouldn’t be in a cast for eight months, idiot.”

The time suddenly struck me; eight months.

Nina watched my face carefully as I’m sure my happy demeanour crumbled right before her eyes. I’d been home in London off the Asian leg for seven weeks and by next weekend, there would be another five months of shows ahead of me before a break and then three more.

“H,” She whispered quietly, swallowing thickly herself.

“Eight months is a long time,” I brought my lips together and pulled myself to be sitting up. Nina scrambled to do the same.

“We’re starting off happy, right?” She quoted myself back to me. “I know I stomped about a bit about Canada but it really is a lovely idea, Harry. Everyone’s so excited.”

Hiring a chateau at a Canadian sky village and having both our families away for a week’s holiday had been my idea. An attempt to somehow disguise the start of another leg of the world tour behind the thrill of all being together in a new, beautiful place. Nina and I loved the snow, and we loved Canada. I thought if maybe we were all looking forward to the holiday, we might not dread the beginning of another long period of separation.

“I feel like I’ve been on tour the whole time we’ve been together,” I admitted.

“You mean my fiancé has had a steady, reliable job that he’s passionate about? Yeah, sounds right,” Nina smiled; always the optimistic peacemaker, always diplomatic in her responses. Too much like me.

“You can be mad, you know?” I told her, not completely buying her playful bit.

She smiled again, it was soft and warmed her whole appearance from the inside out, “I don’t want to be mad, Harry. I’d much rather miss you while I have to and look forward to a time, years down the track, when you’re trying desperately to convince our kids you used to be cool.”

I felt a zap of something magnificent down my spine, something happy and safe and wonderful.

“And naturally, you’d be arguing on affirmative for that.”

“One hundred percent,” She responded. “Little Pippa and Scott, we’ll have them convinced.”

I let my body fall back against the picnic rug, covering my face with my forearm and letting out a resounding groan, “Those are not the names of our kids!”

Nina giggled and let out a squawk when I blindly reached for her waist and pulled her back down beside me again, “Those are perfectly reasonable names!”

“Pippa,” I said the name with as much distaste as I could muster, “Is a great name for a cat, not a child. Not to mention the fact that’s almost exactly how people in New Zealand say ‘pepper’.”

“What about Scott?” Nina asked through a laugh, already knowing full well my dislike for the name.

“You’re mean,” I told her, “Not at all sympathetic to my childhood trauma.”

“You were an adorable child, Harry,” Nina pulled herself up to press her lips against mine in a steadying kiss, “Kind—inside and out—right to the core.”

Scott was the name of the grade one bully at my school. At some point over the years, my mother had divulged onto Nina stories about a much younger version of myself trying desperately to ‘save’ the schoolyard  bully. It was my mum’s fault too, all those life lessons about the people who needed friendship the most were probably those being mean to you. I tried to make Scott O’Conner like me, I tried to make everyone else like him as well.

It had been a summer weekend, I remember that much. Nina and I were staying with Mum for a few days and it was gloriously warm the entire time. The very first night Nina and I had a conversation in bed, one that I’d been desperate to have but unsure how to broach; to know what Nina thought about having children. We were just coming up to our first anniversary.

I hadn’t wanted to be presumptuous and just assume that, like most other people, she would want to have kids one day. I really hoped that was the case though, I’ve always wanted children. Nina was so loving and caring, I couldn’t imagine her not being a mother one day.

The conversation beneath the duvet had taken us well into the small hours of the morning though, because with my question came a heartbreaking response. It had been a sobering moment in our relationship, and one that, looking back, I could see I’d really stepped up. It was a moment you recognise the adult version of the you that you walk around as everyday; not really thinking too much about things until all of a sudden you have to deal with the responsibility side of things.

“Harry,” The Nina lying on her back in the middle of Hampstead Heath beside me interrupted my thoughts, “What were you thinking about?”

I turned on my side to talk to her, “That first time we spoke about having kids, when we were in Cheshire at Mum’s.”

She bit her lip and I knew she understood exactly the time I was referring to, “Seems like worlds away, yeah?”

I frowned, “Do you feel differently?”

“No,” Nina shook her head, “I just meant that lots has happened since then, that’s all. That was a non-hypothetical hypothetical time, you know? Like, now we’re engaged and that would’ve been what …” She paused to think, “Three and a half years ago … I mean, now … Now it’s—

—It’s going to be me,” I finished, knowing it likely wasn’t what she was going to say, but that didn’t make it any less relevant, or true, “I’m the one you’ll have kids with.”

I trained my eyes onto Nina to watch her next move. She let out a long breath and reached her hand out for one of mine, “When we get there.” She said as some kind of mantra, “Worrying about it now won’t help.”

I leant in and kissed her lips slowly, “You’re … We’re doing everything right for now. Stay healthy. Stay on top of everything now.”

She nodded feebly.

The ‘everything’ was Nina’s depression.

Nina’s depression that I had found out that night in Cheshire haunted her in more ways than I was initially aware.

I knew everyday was a battle for her, and I had been around long enough to know it was unreasonable to expect it was one that we could win everyday. But I hadn’t realised that Nina’s depression had her looking forward to possible events in her future with unease.

Post natal depression, she had told me, was considerably more likely for her.

In a moment of true, absolute honesty she told me she was afraid of having children. She was scared that she wouldn’t be able to be the mother they would deserve, and just as importantly, the mother she wanted to be.

Right from the very beginning of knowing her, I’ve never been good at handling Nina when she was crying. I never knew what to do, never knew if it was one of those times it was appropriate to let her cry or if I needed to find away to make her stop. Her sadness made me nervous because in the back of my mind was the fear I might lose her to it.

But in Cheshire that night I could do nothing but cry with her. Because it was devastating, one of those things you don’t think about until you come face to face with someone who lives it as a reality every day.

And even though, at that stage, we hadn’t been together all that long it was utterly shattering, to hear Nina confess she wanted to be a mother but was terrified to do so. And it was shattering in a beautiful way as well, because there was already such a respect for parenthood, and a consideration for life that didn’t exist yet.

“Harry,” Nina called me back again, “You’ve got pre-tour distracted mind.”

“Sorry,” I shook my head at myself. “We should get on home, shouldn’t we? If we’re going to pack tonight.”

“Yeah,” Nina agreed easily, but I knew from the look in her eye she was worried about whatever had taken my mind away from her in that moment.

I took the back of her neck in the palm of my hand and pulled her forehead up against mine, “I love you.”

She scrunched her nose up at me, “I love you too, let’s get married.”

I shrugged, feigning mild disinterest, “Sure, why not?”

*******

The following evening Nina, my mum, Gemma, Laykn and I were on a flight from Heathrow to Vancouver. Nina’s parents were flying from Manchester and would arrive in a few hours before the rest of us. From there it was an hour drive to the Whistler ski resort. If everything went to plan we would all be together in just over twelve hours.

It was chilly in London, although I knew the weather we were going into would be even colder. I loved the feeling that dressing for winter gave, a warmth and snuggly one that had me wriggling my toes in my boots and happy to be sitting with Gemma as we waited in the British Airways First Class lounge.

“You’re going to break a bone this trip, aren’t you?” She sighed dramatically next to me, settling down again after I had dropped a scalding cup of coffee down my leg during a competition with Laykn to see who could balance a cup on their knee for the longest. My poor mother had leapt up to apologise to the staff profusely for the mess and Nina gave me a threatening glare from her spot sitting talking to her brother.

“I’d say at least a minor sprain.”

We were quiet again for a few moments when I felt her take in a charged, suggestive breath of air, “Is everything alright?” She asked quickly, “I mean … Are you and Nina good? You seem … You seem fake,” Gemma finally admitted, a hint of sadness in her tone, “But you’re both trying really hard not to be.”

I hadn’t expected anyone else to notice, but that was a silly thing for me to have thought, especially when we were about to spend the next week with our families.

I considered my words and then calmly turned around to face her, “We’re good. And Nina’s good as well … I’m just not very good at leaving. It’s the same old guilt that I don’t think either of us knows how to deal with, and … A fear that we’ll be next, you know?”

“Next?” Gemma asked curiously, our words whispered comfortably between us. My big sister had always been a safe place.

“I guess the longer you’re together the more of your friends you see breakup,” I explained, “And, I mean, Tim—from my band—and his girlfriend Alexis got together long before Nina and I did. They broke up just before I came over for Nina’s performance and … It’s rattled us.”

“Yeah but even people who are married forty years have to start somewhere, H,” She responded prudently, “You can’t measure you and Nina against other people.”

“I know,” I replied gently, “But … I guess them breaking up has shaken me. I really looked up to Tim in that sense, how he’d kept his relationship going after so many years doing what we do. I always figured if Tim could do it, so could I.”

“You still can, Harry.”

“No!” I backtracked quickly, “No, that’s not what I’m saying. I know that, and I will. I’m keeping Nina and I together, and I don’t care what I have to give up for it. But … I guess Tim and Alexis breaking up has been,” I tried to think of the right sounding word and failed, “Like, sort of humbling? In the sense that you get hit in the face with the fact the people around you aren’t invisible, and neither are you.”

“Is that why you …” Gemma shook her head and then fell silent, “Don’t worry.”

“Is that why I what?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at her slightly and trying to read where she might be headed.

She cast her eyes down and pulled at the rings on her finger, “Did you see the article on the Juice website about how your proposal was—

—That article was a load of horse-shit that got taken down,” I returned angrily, “Don’t think so lowly of me.”

“I don’t!” She defended, “And I love Nina, you know I do, H. But what I’m saying is that it looks—

—It doesn’t matter what it looks like, Gem,” I hissed, looking around to make sure no one else had cottoned on to our heated exchange. Only our Mum was watching us uneasily, “It only matters how it is, and as someone who knows how it is I can’t believe you’d even try to have this conversation. Or that you’d consider something written on a fucking gossip rag before what you know of your own brother.”

I stood up and went to leave her.

“Harry!”

I turned back around briefly to tell her just one more thing, “Next time keep what you read in your free time to yourself, Gemma. I proposed to Nina because I want to marry her. And you already knew that, so stop reading shit that’ll rot your brain.”

I let out a long breath of frustration, trying to shake the bubbling feeling that came from arguing with my sister. Nina didn’t see me coming, and kept talking to Laykn next to her even when I picked up her hand and started pulling her to her feet.

“Hey!” She yelped, breaking eye contact with her brother and pushing her other hand against my chest, “I was talking, Harry, don’t be rude.”

“You can keep talking,” I mumbled, switching our spots and taking the seat that she had been in, “C’mon,” I coaxed, now gently leading her to sit on my lap, “You won’t even notice I’m here.”

They settled back into their conversation and Nina relaxed in my arms as I wound them around her middle, settling my cheek against her back and looking at my Mum.

“Gemma’s got a guilty look on her face, H,” She whispered my way, concern on her features as she reached out to push my hair out of my face.

I briefly looked across to see my sister looking at her lap, not engaged in conversation with anyone.

“Yeah,” I said carefully, “Well, she deserves it right now, Mum.”

“Harry,” She scolded me lightly.

“She does, Mum,” I insisted, leaning closer to urge out the next words, “She knows better than to pay attention to anything the paper’s are saying about me. And I’d give her a lot more than a guilty look if Nina ever caught wind of it from her, I tell you what.”

Mum was frowning at me harshly, her eyes wide in disbelief, “What did she say?”

I shook my head, “I’m awarding her the courtesy of not taking it any further and moving on from what she implied, if it comes up again though …” I let out another sigh, “It won’t come up again.”

******

Over the years, I found myself developing unique and invaluable relationships with each member of Nina’s family. And my relationship with her mother was similar to that which I shared with my own, there was the playful exterior with a startling ability to get soul-crushingly honest, very quickly.

Today though, in this moment, it was merely fun that glimmered in her eyes beside me, “You should’ve assigned the rooms.”

I scratched at the back of my aching neck, Nina sleeping on my shoulder had me sitting in a funny position the whole flight over, “Yeah, someone’s going to end up concussed from the sound of it.”

Nina, Gemma and Laykn were thundering around our chalet for the week, yelling out and bickering over who would sleep where and what the best features of the place were. It was an impressive house; five bedrooms, four bathrooms, three living areas, a huge kitchen, an indoor pool and fully stocked library. Online Nina and I had gushed over the wooden finishes and beautiful furnishings and in real life I found myself even more impressed.

“This is quite the house,” Mae breathed out and when I looked down at her there was a weariness mixed with her appreciation. I didn’t know what to make of it.

For a second I wondered if this was all a bit much, but I was steadfast in the belief that this was a good idea. A family holiday was exactly what I wanted before I left again, this was the foundation I wanted for tour and these were the people I wanted to make the most of for these last few days.

Just as I was about to try and express something of that sentiment to Nina’s mother, Nina herself appeared at the top of the stairs. Her hair was handing down around her face as she leant over the banister around the platform above the main, downstairs living area.

“Harry! I got us the room with the big windows! The one we liked on the website? Laykn was up there but I won the rock off.”

Her happiness made me laugh, and I felt Mae’s hand on my back in gentle encouragement to go with her daughter, “Go team! What’s the balcony view like?”

Nina held out her hand down the stairs toward me, “Come see.”

We passed Nina’s dad in the master bedroom, and Gemma and Laykn in another arguing their way around who would have it but Nina’s hand in mine was steady and firm, pulling me where she was going without a falter in her step.

I’ll happily follow this woman the rest of my life.

“Oh,” I nodded as soon as we climbed the stairs into our room, “Yeah, this is ace, isn’t it?”

“Feel how comfy the bed is,” Nina encouraged, letting go of my hand and instead wrapping her fingers around my hips to lead me in the right direction.

I flopped down, face first, on the mattress and let out a groan when the tight muscles in my back all started to loosen up painfully, “Fuck, this is good.”

I felt the bed dip down as Nina climbed up on it as well, her knees pressed into my side and I felt her fingers at the base of my neck, massaging slowly, “Sorry I slept on you the whole flight. Will I leave you to nap until dinner?”

“No,” I moved and rolled onto my side, “If I sleep now the jet lag will be even more funky. I think just a shower and fresh clothes will be good. Then we should go into town and find somewhere to eat.”

“I thought we were going to get a big grocery delivery and have those ‘family cooking sessions’ you love so much,” Nina laughed musically above me

I scoffed playfully and waved her idea away with a lazy hand through the air between us, “Nobody cooks on the first night, silly. I want to eat a moose tonight.”

Nina held my gaze skeptically, working hard to keep her lips tight while I wriggled my eyebrows at her, “You’re not funny,” She deadpanned eventually.

“Because everything in Canada has a picture of a moose on it?” I continued with the same lame joke.

“Yes, I know,” Nina wasn’t doing well at pretending she didn’t find me endearing.

“Just getting into that Canadian spirit!” I said overly cheerfully.

“I’m sure it’s all the locals do, Harry, all day.”

Eventually Nina and I untangled ourselves from each other after I tackled her into the bed just to get her laughing. I showered and found her curled into a corner spot on the downstairs sofa, surrounded by everyone else. Laykn let out a loud cry of support when I suggested we all venture out for a meal together.

And it was that first night spent eating, drinking wine and laughing together that formed the precedent for our week together.

A week of lazy, slow mornings followed by snow walks, afternoon naps and evenings cooking meals together. Nina and I had our moments alone out in the spa or going for strolls after dinner when everyone else was comatose from eating. Our parents went on antiquing day trips to near by towns, stopping more than necessary for coffee and cake breaks. Laykn spent his days going to the nearest slopes, usually taking one of us with him; a few days he managed to get Nina, Gemma and myself to go along although we were more of a hinderance for not being particularly winter sports savvy. Other times Nina and Gemma would disappear with our mother’s to explore the local shops and I’d find myself drinking beers with Laykn and Nina’s dad at the house.

Always though, there was everyone around the dinner table together at night, talking back and forth between everyone’s lives. There was the renovations my mum was doing on her house house, or Nina’s parent’s trip they were planning to Asia, Laykn’s study, Gemma’s boyfriend, Nina’s work, and my music.  

It was a safe place to talk about it all, even the emerging record burning a hole in my mind. Because all the times it came up, or one of them would ask to hear a little bit of it, I knew the reaction was always loving, always supportive (for the right reasons) and always proud. Even if I didn’t know when or how it could work, to have the unwavering support of these people.

*******

“Harry?”

I let my eyes flick from my phone screen to Nina beside me in bed, the brightness of the screen and darkness of the room having me squinting to make out her features, “What’s up?”

“Your work phone is buzzing.”

It was then that the vibrating against the wooden bedside table registered to me, “Oh.”

I pulled myself up into a sitting position, dragging some of the duvet off Nina’s chest which had her sluggishly sitting up as well. She leaned over and turned on the lamp but I’d managed to fumble the ringing phone into my hand. I was quick to swipe to answer and extract myself out of bed to take the call, a heavy panic rising to my throat as soon as I saw what number was calling.

“Sorry,” I mouthed back at a confused looking Nina as I yanked open the balcony door and slipped out into the cold. “Hello?” I said down the phone.

“Harry, mate, I know you’re on holiday with your family right now. And I hate doing this to you—

“—What’s happened?” I demanded quickly, bracing a hand again the frozen railing and trying not to think of the last time I got a call like this.

“We think it’s happened again, mate.”

[starwriter22]

Fearful of Love // pt. 2

Word Count: 2.9k

Genre: Romance/Angst

Part 1

“Every new friend is a new adventure, the start of more memories>” – Patrick Lindsay

~

November 6th

“You look like you’re about to murder everyone.”

I frowned, lifting my eyes from the essay I was reading over before class to meet Jungkook’s gaze.

“I feel like I want to murder everyone.” I said, moving my eyes back to where I stopped and continuing to read, checking for spelling errors, punctuation errors, etc. It was printed and I couldn’t edit it since there was only a little bit of time until class so rereading it was pretty much useless, but I still wanted to make sure.

“Everyone except me right? Because you love me?” He asked, framing his face in a terrible attempt to be adorable. But I didn’t look up, trying to stifle my laughter as I saw his expression turn to one of disappointment.

“Anyways, when do you get off of work today? It’s Friday which means movie night in the lounge room of the dorm building. They’re playing the nightmare before Christmas and you know that’s one of my favorite movies.”

I finished reading the last sentence, smiling as I saw no errors and placing my essay down. “I get off at 7 today, when does the movie start?”

“It starts at 8. Please tell me you’re going to come. We can bring junk food and a bunch of blankets and pillows. I want to hang out with my only friend on campus.” He whined, practically bouncing in his seat.

I couldn’t keep down the laugh that escaped me, “Yeah I think I can make it.” I said, standing to my feet as I checked the time. But nearly fell over as Jungkook practically tackle me in a back hug.

“Okay! I’ll see you later then, right?”

I wiggled through his embrace, eventually ending up on the floor as I slipped out of his arms. “Yes you will see me later as long as you never do that again.” I said, brushing myself off and rolling my eyes at the big grin he had on his face as he ran to class.

“I can’t promise that, bye!”

-

Taehyung was walking down the hall with Jimin when he felt an arm loosely drape across his shoulders, a bright smile on the owner of the arm’s lips, “Hey Tae, have my history homework?”

With a nod Taehyung took his backpack off and fished the printed homework out, handing it to the boy, Jake maybe, and smiling back, feeling the glare that Jimin was giving from behind on his back.

“Ah thanks! Do you have everybody else’s homework too? I’m going to see them before our classes so I can give it to them.” Jake said, waiting patiently as Taehyung fished out the rest of the assignments.

“Hey there’s a movie night happening in the dorm lounge, would you guys want to hang out and watch it? I’ll bring sna-” Taehyung didn’t even get to finish his sentence before he was cut off.

“Sorry we can’t, we’re going to a party tonight, but hey thanks seriously you’re awesome. Talk to you later yeah?”

Taehyung nodded, letting out a sigh as he watched Jake walk the opposite way down the hall, anger slowly boiling into him as he began walking again.

Now would be the perfect opportunity to say ‘I told you so’ or ‘this always happens’ or anything really that would prove the point Jimin was trying to make yesterday. But one thing that Taehyung loved about his best friend was that he never said anything of the sorts. Instead he comforted him each and every time, which was something Taehyung would be forever thankful for.

Jimin wrapped an arm around Taehyung and pulled him closer, looking at his best friend and noticing the familiar look of frustration and betrayal on his face. Because Jimin knew that he hoped that maybe this would end different, he knew that Taehyung wished that he hadn’t (even though he tried desperately not to) said yes.

“I feel like an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot…” Jimin said, rubbing his back. “You’re just used to the routine. You have to break out of it.”

Sooner than either of them expected they arrived in front of Taehyung’s classroom for musical theory.

“I’ll see you later? We can both bring snacks for the movie night tonight!” Jimin said, giving a bright smile that lifted Taehyung’s mood immediately.

“Yeah I’ll see you.”

(*~~*)

After work I made my way to a corner store not too far from my job to pick up snacks. I made sure to grab some that Jungkook would like (because I knew he would try and sneak some of mine). I began walking to the checkout counter and groaned as my phone buzzed in my pocket, having a strong feeling that it was Jungkook bugging me about hurrying even though we still had an hour to kill, but to my surprise it wasn’t.

Jin: Hey! How did the math homework go? – Received 7:15pm

Ahh it went so well! I got a 98 can you believe it?! Thank you Jin! – Sent 7:16pm

Jin: Well of course you did! If you didn’t I would think I was a bad teacher haha – Received 7:18pm

Well hey are you coming to the movie ni-

I didn’t even realize I had walked into line, or that someone was in front of me, until I headed face first into their back. Dropping my phone and all the snacks I had been skillfully holding in my arms in the process.

“Sorry sorry! Are you alright?”

I crouched down, beginning to pick up my things until I processed what had been said to me, realizing the voice was somewhat familiar. I looked up from the ground, watching as the man with a head of brown hair began to help pick up the items on the floor.

“I’m fine, thank you.” I said, a small smile on my lips as I met his gaze as he looked up. Soon a smile stretched across his lips as well.

“I’m glad…we really have to stop bumping into each other like this.” He said, standing up and placing the items on the conveyor belt before offering a hand to help me up, which I gladly took.

“You’re telling me, I don’t think my phone can take another fall.” I said, inspecting the phone for cracks once I placed the rest of the items on the belt. Glad that the case protected it.

His laughter filled the air between us, “Well since we seem to keep bumping into each other, may I ask your name?” He asked, greeting the cashier and getting the correct amount needed out of his wallet once all of his items were scanned.

“My name is (y/n).” I said, moving up once he finished paying and greeting the cashier as well before getting the money needed out of my bag, “May I ask your name?”

“Taehyung, Kim Taehyung, nice to meet you (y/n).” He said, grabbing my bags as I took the receipt from the cashier and thanked her. He handed me the bags once I finished putting my wallet back into my bag.

“It’s nice to meet you as well; do you mind me asking why you have a bag full of junk food?” I asked as we walked out the store.

“I’m going to a movie night at the college not too far from here.” He said, turning his head to send a smile my way, “Can I ask why you have junk food?”

“Same reason,” I said, the both of us laughing, “I didn’t know you were a student, have I seen you in the halls before?”

“Probably not since I haven’t seen you in the halls either, what’s your major? Maybe that’s the reason our paths haven’t crossed.”

“Oh I’m taking liberal arts. You know, the useless degree, but I told myself I would go to college and this major fits me the most. What about you?”

“I’m majoring in music. I want to become a singer someday or just have a job in music. It’s something I really love and have loved since I was little.”

“Wow, I wish I had something I was that passionate about.” I said, letting out a small laugh and swinging my bags. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what I would want to do for the rest of my life.

“I’m sure you’ll figure out your passion, you just haven’t found it yet.” He said, opening the door to the dorm building once we made it.

I quickly walked inside, thanking him, just before my phone began to ring at the same time as Taehyung’s.

“Hello?” We said in unison and I stifled my laughter.

“Are you almost here? The movie’s going to start soon!” Jungkook practically yelled through the phone, trying to talk over the loud chatter that was happening in the room.

“Yes I just walked inside the building, kookie, I’m going to change into some PJ’s and come down. It’ll only take a sec.” I said, smiling as his tone of voice changed at the sound of the nickname.

“Okay see you.”

I hung up the phone, looking at Taehyung who was still talking.

“Yes Jimin I got Cola and popcorn don’t worry. I’ll see you in a minute.” He said before hanging up, “Sorry my best friend Jimin called to see where I was.”

I smiled, lifting up my phone, “My friend Jungkook called to see where I was.”

“Well would you want to sit together? I’ll save a spot for you and your friend since I know everybody will be there.”

“Yeah that would be great! I’m going to change into my Pj’s and then I’ll be right down.”

~

“Took you long enough.” Jungkook said, throwing a pillow at me once I finally made it downstairs.

“Rude kids don’t get snacks.” I noted, managing to catch the pillow.

He rolled his eyes before letting out a laugh, “We’re the same age you can’t call me a kid!”

“I just did!” I said, breaking away from our conversation enough to notice Taehyung saying my name and waving us over to the other side of the room.

Jungkook followed my gaze, his eyebrows knitting together as he looked at him. “Who’s that?”

“Taehyung, the guy I bumped into at the restaurant the other day, remember?” I asked, taking his hand and tugging it so he could get up. “He offered to save us seats and I agreed. You don’t mind right?”

“As long as I can watch the movie I don’t care where we sit.” He said, letting me guide him across the room.

A lot of awkward and careful stepping and apologies and we were finally next to Taehyung and a guy with red hair who looked up at us curiously. “Hi, this is Jungkook.” I said, and Taehyung grinned at Jungkook, who couldn’t help but return a shy smile and wave.

“Nice to meet you! I’m Taehyung , this is Jimin the best friend I was talking about. Jimin this is Y/N.”

“You were talking about me?” Jimin asked suddenly, eyeing Taehyung before looking back at us with the prettiest smile, “It’s nice to meet you.”

Jungkook and I both sat down, getting settled in our new seats before bringing our snacks out. But a gasp from Taehyung made the both of us stop and Jimin roll his eyes at his friend.

“Sorry he gets excited over little things.” Jimin said, laughing as Taehyung smacked his shoulder.

“I have gummy bears, I’ll share with you if you share your Doritos with me.” Taehyung said, leaning over to bump my shoulder and making me laugh in the process.

“Only if you share your Cola with us.” Jungkook said over my shoulder.

“Let us have some of your mini kitkats and you have a deal.” Jimin said and we nodded in agreement.

Jungkook gave half the package of mini chocolates to Taehyung and Jimin and somehow managed to tear the Doritos bag in half so we didn’t have to get napkins, and Jimin gave us two cans of Cola while Taehyung opened the bag of gummy worms and shared.

By the time the trading was finished the movie started, all loud chatter quickly silencing at that point and Jungkook’s attention completely absorbed in the projector screen put up for the movie.

I began to get into the movie myself, humming along to the song beginning to play, until I felt a small poke on my right side. I turned my head to see Taehyung watching the movie along with Jimin who was eating chocolate.

“I’ve seen this movie about a million times. I watch it every time the Christmas season comes around.” He whispered, his head tilting so he was close enough to whisper to me.

“I personally like watching Harry Potter…on any holiday really. But especially in the fall and winter.”

“Harry Potter is great. But you know another great movie? The Avengers.”

A grin broke out on my face, “Who is your favorite character? Mine is Iron Man.”

“Thor…or the hulk…or iron man I don’t know.” He said, turning his head to look at me. “Favorite superhero of all time?”

“Ah I don’t know…I like Batman though he’s really cool. I’m secretly batman actually if you couldn’t tell.” I said, stifling my laughter as his eyes widened and he stared at me in confusion.

“That’s a shame….”

“A shame? Why is that?”

“How can a villain befriend his enemy?” Taehyung said, sighing dramatically and shaking his head. “If you couldn’t tell I’m the joker.”

I gasped dramatically, causing the both of us to go into a fit of quiet laughter.

“How much do you think we’re annoying them on a scale of one to ten?” I asked, motioning to both Jimin and Jungkook.

“Fifty?” He asked, looking over at Jimin who was still fully engrossed in the movie. “Actually I don’t know…they’re so into the movie I would think they couldn’t even hear us.”

The rest of the movie went just like that, Taehyung and I talking in hushed voices and randomly going into fits of laughter. Even though the conversations weren’t anything special they were still entertaining.

What I got from talking to him was that he was extremely goofy and funny, similar to myself and I liked that about him.

When the movie ended we said our goodbyes, packing up our snacks and heading back to our dorms.

As I got into bed though, literally on the brink of sleep, I got a text. As I read it my eyes rolled in annoyance, but my cheeks burned in embarrassment, and I decided against texting back.

Jungkook: You and Taehyung got along well…are you interested in him?

(*~November 8th~*)

“Do you like her?”

Taehyung frowned, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion as he looked over at his friend. Who was he referring to…?

“Y/N, the girl you were talking to during the whole movie, do you like her?”

His lips pressed into a tight line, fighting off the smile that threatened to appear on his lips.

“I don’t know I just met her.” Taehyung said with a shrug, trying but failing to convince Jimin, instead gaining a shove from his friend and laughter.

“You so like her! You’re fighting off a smile just thinking about her!”

“Shut up!” Taehyung said, shoving Jimin back before they walked into the coffee shop not too far from campus. This was only their second time coming. They completely forgot about the place to be honest. But with the chilly late morning weather it was a perfect time to come to the warm shop and get something hot to drink.

Taehyung took a seat near the window at the front of the store, watching as Jimin snickered quietly as he sat down. “Tae just admit it. She seems nice and you two were getting along pretty well. Not to mention you both managed to bump into each other twice in the span of a couple days. That’s fate trying to tell you-”

Taehyung rolled his eyes, reaching over the table and covering his friend’s mouth so he couldn’t speak any more. “Shh, it’s too early in the morning for you to be this annoying.” He chuckled as he saw the glare that Jimin threw his way and hissed as he bit his palm.

“Anyways, how’s Yoongi and Namjoon’s song going?” Jimin asked, his glare eventually fading as he began to play with the sugar packets on the table they were sat at.

“Pretty good, I envy both of their producing and writing skills. I hope I can gain some over the next few years, or else I’ll feel like this scholarship went to waste.” Taehyung said, rubbing his now sore palm. “How is the dance routine you and Hoseok are working on?”

“It’s going well!” Jimin said, he always perked up at the talk of dance. “You should come to the practice room and see it. The song that Hoseok picked out is awesome and the choreography that goes along with it is even better. I can’t wait till we finish it.”

“Neither can I, you’re making me anxious to see it.” Taehyung said, before he heard someone clear their throat above them.

“Hi welcome, what can I get you?”

Taehyung frowned as he saw Jimin look at the waitress and begin to laugh, soon realizing why he was laughing and feeling his cheeks begin to burn in embarrassment. He was going to kill Jimin one of these days, he swore.

“Hey.”

[rose-gold-romantic]

What Heroes Do: Chapter Nine

A Loki x reader that takes place during Thor: Ragnarok. Follow-up fic to Tesseract and Lokasenna .

I WOULD LOVE FEEDBACK! Want to be tagged in updates? Let me know!

@malignentmac @fandomsfanman @i-am-supermerwholoked221b@markusstraya @lafayettes-baguettes-1 @pandaqua​

We carried Loki up to Val’s room, and I anxiously avoided talking to her. I opted to stay with Loki while she searched for Thor, but she insisted on keeping him tied to a chair in her absence.

“I am not having him escape on me.” she said. “Make sure he doesn’t leave. I’m done forgetting, if I’m going to die, it’s going to be defeating Hela, murderous hag that she is.”

She left in a huff, leaving me and an unconscious Loki sitting alone.

It seemed to take Loki forever to recover consciousness, groaning about his head hurting. I gave him a kiss, causing him to smile.

“I should have known you’d follow us.” he said, “And while it was certainly reckless, I’m glad that you did. Where is she now? Can you let me out?”

“I can’t help you, she took the key with her. She left to go find Thor and Hulk.” I replied, “She’s ready to go face Hela now. She said that she was done trying to forget what happened. I only hope that it’s not too late.”

“Hela is incredibly powerful.” Loki said, “You saw what she did to Thor’s hammer! I don’t think it would be safe for you to go.”

“Nothing in this universe is ever really safe.” I replied. “But I have some skill, some ability to help. What kind of person would I be if I were to stand by and do nothing when I could be helping innocent people? Even if I lose my life, it would all be worth it to know that one child, one desperate mother, made it to safety because of that sacrifice.”

The door opened behind me, Thor and Valkyrie walking in with Dr. Banner, who was no longer in Hulk form.

“Surprise.” Loki said, watching the group come in.

Thor picked up a cup, throwing it at Loki. “Ow.” Loki said as it bounced off of his head.

“Just had to be sure.” Thor explained, following Val over to the other side of the room.

“Hello Bruce.” Loki said, Dr. Banner looking both scared and uncomfortable as he followed Thor.

“So, last time I saw you, you were trying to kill everybody.” Bruce said, “Where are you at these days?”

“It varies from moment to moment.” Loki teased, smirking as Bruce’s facial expression was washed with terror.

I punched Loki in the arm, “What was that for?”

“Just a little bit of fun.” Loki whispered to me, “Since he can’t hurt me right now.”

“Is that a Dragonfang?” Thor asked Val, as she set a sword down on the table.

“It is.” Val said, rolling her eyes at Bruce as he tore into fruit that was sitting on the table.

“My God.” Thor said, drawing it out from its sheath to admire it.  “This is the famed sword of the Valkyrie.”

“So, Sakaar and Asgard are about as far apart as any two known systems.” Val said, “Our best bet is a wormhole just outside of city limits. Refuel on Xandar, we can be back in Asgard in.. 18 months.”

“Nope.” Thor said, gesturing out the window. “We are going through the big one.”

“The Devil’s Anus?” Val scoffed.

“Anus?” Dr. Banner piped up, mouth full of food. “Wait, wait, wait, who’s anus?”

“For the record, I didn’t know it was called that when I picked it.” Thor defended.

“That looks like a collapsing neutron star inside of an Einstein-Rosen bridge.” Banner said, pointing to the black swirling mass.

“We need another ship, that will tear mine to pieces.” Val said, gesturing to the portal.

“She’s right,” Thor said, “We will need one that can withstand the geodetic strain from the singularity.”

“And has an offline power steering system that could also function without the onboard computer.” Bruce added.

“And we’ll need one with cup holders, because we’re going to die.” Val said. “So, drinks!”

“Do I know you?” Bruce asked Val, “I feel like I know you.”

“I feel like I know you too.” Val laughed, “It’s weird.”

“What do you say?” Thor asked Banner, “Uncharted metagalactic travel through a votile cosmic gateway. Talk about an adventure.”

“We need a ship.” Banner said, bumping Thor’s fist in agreement.

“Need a ship.” Thor agreed.

“There are one or two ships.” Val said, “Absolute top of the line models…”

“I don’t mean to impose…” Loki interrupted, and I ducked as Val threw her empty bottle at the wall behind him. “But the Grandmaster has a great many ships. I may have even stolen the access codes to his security system.”

“And suddenly you’re overcome with the urge to do the right thing.” Val retorted.

“I can’t say it’s the right thing. I’ve run out of favor with the Grandmaster.” Loki said, “And in exchange for the codes and access to a ship, I’m asking for safe passage through the Anus.”

“You’re telling us that you can get us access into the garage without setting off any alarms?” Thor queried.

“Yes, brother.” Loki replied confidently. “I can.”

“Ok, can I just… a quick FYI.” Bruce said, standing between Thor and Loki, “I was just talking to him a couple minutes ago and he was totally ready to kill us.”

“I told you that was a stupid idea.” I whispered to Loki.

“A punch does not equate telling me anything.” he responded, rolling his eyes.

“Yes, me too, on many occasions.” Thor said, continuing their conversation. “There was one time, when we were children, he transformed himself into a snake, and he knows that I love snakes. So I went to go pick up the snake to admire it, and he transformed back into himself and was like, ‘Yea! It’s me!’ and he stabbed me. We were eight at the time.”

I looked over to Loki with an eyebrow raised, and he simply looked down, smiling and fighting back a snicker.

“If we’re boosting a ship,” Val said, rolling her eyes as she tried to reset the conversation back to the task at hand, “we’re going to need to draw some guards away from the palace.”

“Why not set the beast loose?” Loki suggested, looking to Bruce.

“Shut up.” Thor said.

“You guys have a beast?” Val said excitedly.

“No, there’s no beast.” Thor clarified. “He’s just being stupid. We are going to start a revolution.”

“Revolution?” Bruce asked.

“I’ll explain later.” Thor said.

Val spoke with Thor quickly, and left with Bruce to go free the prisoner fighters from their holding place.

I left with Thor and Loki, heading to the main hangar where we would find the ships we needed. The trip was spent in silence, moving quickly and hiding in the shadows to avoid detection.

Loki stood at the door that would lead us to the garage, inputting the security code as the incapacitated guards lay on either side of the door.

“Hey, so, listen.” Thor said to Loki, breaking the silence. “We should talk.”

“I disagree.” Loki said, opening the door. “Open communication was never our family’s forte.”

“You have no idea.” Thor said, picking up one of the guard’s weapons as we stepped through the open doorway. “Been quite the revelation since we last spoke.” Thor held the weapon aloft, Loki mirroring his action. “Hello!”

“Hi.” Loki stated as they both opened fire on the surprised guards. Walking forwards, we shielded ourselves against the wall, ceasing the attack for a moment.

“Odin brought us together.” Loki said, “It’s almost poetic that his death should split us apart.”

We advanced again, Loki tossing me the weapon so that he could open the next doorway.

“Two sons of the crown, set adrift.” Loki added, closing the door between us and the rest of the guards. Loki opened the next door, immediately raising his hands as a guard approached with weapon raised.

Thor dispatched the guard quickly, passing through the doorway. “Thought you didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Here’s the thing,” Loki countered, jogging to enter the elevator with Thor and I. “I’m probably better off staying here on Sakaar.”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking.” Thor said, to Loki and I’s surprise.

“Did you just agree with me?” Loki asked in disbelief.

“Come on, this place is perfect for you.” Thor said, “It’s savage, chaotic, lawless…Brother, you’re going to do great here.”

“Do you truly think so little of me?” Loki asked, staring ahead.

“Loki, I thought the world of you.” Thor said, “I thought we were going to fight side by side forever. But, at the end of the day, you’re you, and I’m me. And I don’t know, maybe there’s still some good in you. You’ve changed greatly in that respect. But let’s be honest, our paths diverged a long time ago.”

It was as the regret and guilt washed over Loki’s face that I realized what Thor was doing.

“Yea,” Loki agreed quietly. “It’s probably for the best that we never see each other again.”

“It’s what you always wanted.” Thor said, patting Loki on the back.

Loki nodded, his lips pursed.

“Hey, let’s do ‘Get Help’” Thor said excitedly.

“What?”

“Get help!” Thor stressed.

“No.” Loki said sternly.

“Come on, you love it!” Thor insisted.

“I hate it, actually.” Loki said.

“It’s great, it works every time.” Thor said with a grin.

“It’s humiliating.” Loki corrected.

“Do you have a better plan?” Thor countered.

“No.”

“We’re doing it.” Thor determined, smiling.

“We are not doing Get Help.” Loki insisted.

As the elevator slowed to a stop, Thor grabbed Loki’s arm and draped it over his shoulder. Loki groaned, rolling his eyes as he let his body go limp.

“Get help, please!” Thor yelled as the door opened, his sudden appearance startling the group of guards. “My brother, he’s dying!”

“Get help!” I yelled, trying to follow along with the improvised plan.

“Help him!” Thor yelled, hauling Loki up and throwing him at the cluster of Guards, knocking them all out.

“Classic.” Thor beamed as Loki stood up from the pile of guards.

“Still hate it.” Loki said, straightening his collar. “It’s humiliating.”

“Not for me, it’s not.” Thor laughed. “Now, which one is the ship she told us to get?”

“The Commodore.” Loki said, gesturing to a bright yellow ship.

I nodded, “I’ll go scout ahead and make sure no one is there.”

Thor nodded, and Loki held me quickly. “Promise to be careful.” He whispered. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

“I’ll stay safe, as long as you promise to come for me.” I said, kissing him.

“I wouldn’t dream of anything else.” He responded, holding my hand as I became invisible. I ran off ahead, climbing up to the Commodore’s deck without interruption. Shortly after, Thor arrived, closing off the ship as he entered.

“Where’s Loki?” I asked, looking around.

“He tried to alter the plan, mischievous man that he is.” Thor said vaguely, “I talked to him, and he decided to stay for a while. He’s bringing another ship. He won’t be coming with us.”

I nodded, looking down as Thor took the helm. Loki had promised me to come, but how was he to do that if he wasn’t going to fly to Asgard with us?

“Alright, we can figure this out.” Thor said, “It’s just another spaceship.”

We accelerated out of the hangar, weaving in and out of buildings on our way to the portal. It wasn’t long before we were tailed by another ship, their lasers firing at us. Before I even had a chance to see if we had any offensive capability, Val’s ship came flying in, destroying our attacker.

“Open the doors.” Val’s voice came from our speaker, and Thor pressed a few buttons on the console. Val flew below us, ejecting Dr. Banner up and into the ship. I ran back, pulling Bruce up from the edge, enemy laser fire hitting us once again.

“Shouldn’t we be shooting back or something??” Bruce shouted as we scrambled up to the cockpit.

“Yes, we should.” Thor agreed, searching the control panel. “Where are the guns on this ship?”

“There aren't any.” Val said through the comm, “It’s a leisure vessel. Grandmaster uses it for his good times, orgies and stuff.”

“Did she just say the Grandmaster uses it for orgies?”  Bruce asked, leaning on Thor’s chair.

“Yes.” Thor answered, disgusted. “Don’t touch anything.”

I searched around for something that we might use to combat the enemy, when Thor and Bruce both shouted out. I turned in time to see Val’s ship exploding, her form flying towards our vessel.

She hit the cabin, holding on to the window ledge for dear life.

“Get inside!” Thor shouted at her, and Val looked back at the group of enemy ships that had surrounded us.

“In a minute!” she answered, climbing up to the top of our ship

“I should probably go and help.” Thor said, standing. “Here, take the wheel!” Thor shoved Bruce down into the captain’s chair.

“No, I don’t know how to fly one of these!” Bruce protested.

“You’re a scientist,” Thor said, heading back to the open doors, “Use one of your PHD’s!”

“None of them are for flying alien spaceships!” Bruce shouted back to Thor.

Thor jumped out of the ship, and I sat down next to Bruce, telling him what I had seen Thor doing to guide the ship. Thor and Val tore apart ship after ship behind us, each one blowing up as they finished it off.

“Ok, come on, there’s got to be a gun on this thing.” Bruce said, pushing buttons haphazardly. “That one looks like a gun!”

As he pressed the button, lights went off in the back of the ship, a song echoing over it’s speakers. Fireworks shot out from the ship, surrounding us in multi-colored light. Thor and Val jumped into the ship, and I closed the doors as soon as they landed safely.

“Guys, we’re coming up on the Devil’s Anus!” Bruce called back, getting Thor and Val’s attention.

Val took over the controls, speeding up as we approached the gaping portal.

“Here we go!” she said, smiling as she expertly dodged huge flying pieces of debris. Bruce and I sat down, bracing ourselves as the ship began to shake uncontrollably. “I’ve placed our heading in the computer for Asgard, here’s to luck that we’ll get through!”

The ship continued to shake, the light at the center of the portal increasing in brightness. With a flash of white hot light, we all lost consciousness.

[nunonabun]

The Family Look [1/2]

Steaminess will return tomorrow or the day after (as this fic will have 2 parts), I promise (and thank you to those who sent prompts for that!), but today I thought I’d work on more of a family fic (partially because I saw an old pic of my aunt with the most fabulous 60s glasses and couldn’t let it go).

“Don’t you ever look like your Mummy!”

It was such a simple, commonplace phrase. Shelagh had heard it hundreds of times, and likely said it about as often, given her line of work. Yet now she heard in it a myriad of subtexts and assumptions that she never would have assumed before her marriage; before she and Patrick had adopted the little girl they were blessed to be able to call their daughter.

—[ 3 days earlier ]— 

How much allspice is the proper amount? Lucille had loaned her an old family recipe for a dish called ‘jerk chicken’ which her mother had mailed over and Lucille had made for luncheon at Nonnatus last week. Though Lucille had helpfully pointed out the difference between British allspice and Jamaican allspice, as with any family recipe, the measurements were vague, maintained by the current cook having cooked alongside the writer of said recipe. Shelagh supposed she could just add to her taste and then further adjust it based on her family’s reviews.

As though thinking of them had summoned them, Shelagh heard the click of the door that signalled that Patrick and Angela must be home.

“Hello dears!” She called out, correctly assuming they would come to her.

However, she hadn’t guessed the tears that would accompany her daughter’s greeting. Instead of her normal cheerful hello, Angela had simply run over and hugged her mother’s leg.

She immediately bent down to enfold her daughter in her arms. “Sweetheart, what ever is the matter?”

Angela simply shook her head and buried it in the crook of her mother’s neck.

Shelagh hear the crack of Patrick’s knees as he bent down to rub his daughter’s back and explain the situation.

“Apparently Miss Lang asked her to read from the board, and that was something of a tricky request.” He paused to see if Angela would elaborate further.

Comforted enough to have regained her vocabulary, she did. “The words were all fuzzy and I tried but…” the tears were starting to well up once more. “I guessed wrong and then everybody laughed.”

Shelagh met Patrick’s eyes over Angela’s head as she pressed her face back into her mother’s shoulder. To her surprise, he looked confused about the incident, though naturally also frustrated and sad about the reaction of the other children.

But of course he would be, he was looking at the situation through different eyes. Angela had been a wonderful reader, quickly progressing whenever her parents asked her to read the next bit of her bedtime story. Thinking back on that, Shelagh did remember Angela looking very closely at the pages, and kicked herself for not realizing the problem sooner.

Yet at the same time, Angela’s story rewound time for her, to almost thirty years beforehand when another little girl had cried over her inability to read the chalkboard.

She sat in the bricht licht i’ the humble East Window i’ St. Andrew’s, the queart of the kirk always a balm tae her hairt. Ma and Da had tried, but they didnae ken any better than the teacher why she warslt sair wi the reading. It wis anely in class; on Sundays she could read the hymns jis fine.

A saft vice interrupted her thoughts.

“I’m aye sorrowed tae hear greeting on sic a lovely afterneen.” Sister Catherine settled herself beside her.

Shelagh wiped her tears an keeked up at her douche, bespectacled face, an it aa cam pouring oot.

“Everyone’s lauchin at me an Mr Wilson’s getting feejee kis Ah cannea read in skail.”

Instead i’ the worrit look Ma and Da had gien her, Sister Catherine seemed tae un’erstn an she felt a wecht lift fae her hairt.

The auld nun took aff her glesses an placed tham on the bridge i’ her neb. Suddenly the Sister’s face became clear tae her. She luikit aroon an fand the kirk transformed.

Yon same afterneen, her mither teen her tae see the ee doctor. The neist day, naething cwid bring her doon, even fin the ithers caad her a wee owl. The wardle wis a newly magical placie tae her noo, an she wis fair-tricket wi it.

Mimicking Sister Catherine’s actions all those years ago, Shelagh took off her specs and gently pulled her daughter back from her so she could set them on Angela’s face. Alarmed by this development, Angela abruptly stopped crying, and Patrick’s confusion turned to comprehension.

“Darling, could you try reading what the tin on the counter says?” Shelagh knew her glasses were probably a lot stronger than the ones Angela would need, but if this was indeed her problem, they would at least be of some help.

Angela hopped in excitement as her world changed just as Shelagh’s had when she’d been of a similar age.

“All spice!” She exclaimed, “All spice all spice!”

She took off to the living room to further explore her newfound abilities, alarming her little brother out his concentration on what appeared to be a game somehow involving a doctor and a fire truck.

“Magnavox!” She shouted. “The… Lanket!”

“Lancet!” Tim corrected from upstairs, where he was sequestered with his books.

Shelagh and Patrick laughed and turned back to the neglected dinner preparations.

“Would you like to take her to the optometrist tomorrow or shall I?” He asked, wrapping his arms around her.

“Hmm let me write Miss Lang a note explaining why she ought to be excused from reading tomorrow and then I’ll take her after school. Choosing your own glasses is such a big moment…” Patrick placed a kiss over the temples of her own specs, and she knew he was remembering when she’d changed her old round frames for the new horn-rimmed ones he loved so much. “Indeed it is.”

—

“These!” Angela announced confidently as she tried on what must have been the fiftieth pair of glasses that day. Shelagh and Dr. Adams exchanged a look of amused relief.

“That’s a lovely choice, darling.” The pair in question sported a warm amber cat-eye frame with three little rhinestones in each upswept corner. Predictably, they looked absolutely darling on Angela.

“You look just like your Mummy!” Dr. Adams agreed, and Shelagh felt a warm glow of pride settle in her chest.

The rest of the transaction proceeded swiftly, and Angela practically dragged her mother home so she could show off her new glasses to Daddy and Tim, both of whom were suitably admiring.

Unfortunately, the next day did not go as smoothly. Once again, Patrick came home with a teary Angela, but this time his face was like a thunderclap. She didn’t have to ask.

“The other children must have said something truly cruel, and I’ll be having a word with their parents about it.” Patrick said angrily.

Shelagh nodded in assent, but bent down to speak to her little girl. “What did they say sweetheart?”

Angela shook her head, unable or unwilling to speak.

“I’ll make you some nice cocoa, and then you, Daddy and I can talk about it. How does that sound?”

Angela agreed, looking a smidge more at ease, and Shelagh set of to prepare hot beverages for the family, making extra cocoa in a spare cozy-clad teapot to set aside for Tim and Teddy when they eventually came in from Teddy’s makeshift cricket lesson in the back yard.

A sufficient quantity of hot cocoa ingested, Angela explained what had so upset her. “Claire said my glasses were pretty, and that I looked like you, Mummy, but Doris said that I was just pretending, that I couldn’t look like you because… because you’re not my real mummy.” Her tears were flowing freely once more. “And Charlotte and Anne agreed.” She concluded, before the floodgates opened in earnest.

Shelagh and Patrick both wrapped her in their arms, silently communicating sharing a look of knowing distress overtop of her small head. They had been open with her about her adoption for as long as she could understand it, both feeling it was important that it not be a shock to her, and knowing that if they didn’t tell hear early on, she was likely to hear it from a third party. Yet neither of them were naive enough to believed they had headed off all future challenges.

“Darling, it’s absolutely not pretend.” Shelagh spoke gently but firmly. “You’re my real daughter, so I’m your real mummy, and Daddy’s your real daddy.”

Patrick kissed the neat part in her hair to emphasize the point. “You remember how you grew in another lady’s tummy, like Teddy grew in Mummy’s?” He asked. Angela sniffled in acknowledgement, remembering this conversation. “Well some people don’t understand that even though you came from another lady and man, you’re our little girl.”

“But then why did Teddy come from you and Mummy?” Angela asked quietly, still shaken.

“Because sometimes different people in a family come from different places.” Shelagh explained. “But what truly makes them all a family - what makes us a family - is that we love each other, not whether or not we look like each other.”

“And if we do happen to look like each other,” Patrick added, Angela quickly interrupting to add detail, “like how my hair and glasses are like Mummy but my eyes are the same colour as yours and Timmy’s?”  

“Exactly,” Patrick agreed. “And that’s just chance. Your looks are a gift from the man and lady who made you, and even if you had turned out to look nothing like us, you know we would love you just as much, don’t you?”

“Mmhhm.” A small smile broke through Angela’s tears as she agreed.

Shelagh felt the need to add one further clarification. “There are ways you’re like me and Daddy that aren’t chance; that are because you’re our daughter.” Angela turned her big, curious eyes to her mother.

“Like right now,” Shelagh said. “That wee expression, and the way you tilt your head, it’s just like Daddy when he’s confused.”

Patrick grinned. “And when Teddy or Timmy are naughty, or when something needs to be done, your voice and posture - that’s the way you stand - is just like Mummy.”

Angela was practically beaming now, her worries assuaged for the day as pulled her parents closer for another hug.

My sincere apologies if the Doric is terrible. I used a site that had an extensive dictionary and translation tool, but it may be Google Translate quality. I wanted to get across my headcanon that Shelagh grew up speaking Doric, so her memories of her childhood could also be in Doric (as I find when I remember events that happened in French, my memory of the whole event, including descriptions is in French). If anyone speaks Doric and notes anything wrong with my translation, please tell me!

[English translation of the Doric part:

She sat in the bright light of the humble East Window of St. Andrew’s, the quiet of the church always a balm to her heart. 

Ma and Da had tried, but they didn’t know any better than the teacher why she struggled sorely with the reading. It was only in class; on Sundays she could read the hymns just fine.

A soft voice interrupted her thoughts.

“I’m always sorrowed to hear crying on such a lovely afternoon.” Sister Catherine settled herself beside her.

Shelagh wiped her tears and peeked up at her kind, bespectacled face, and it all came pouring out.“Everyone’s laughing at me and Mr Wilson’s getting angry because I can’t read in school.”

Instead of the worried look Ma and Da had given her, Sister Catherine seemed to understand, and she felt a weight lift from her heart. 

The old nun took off her glasses and placed them on the bridge of her nose. Suddenly the Sister’s face became clear to her. She looked around and found the church transformed.

That same afternoon, her mother took her to see the eye doctor. The next day, nothing could bring her down, even when the others called her a little owl. The world was a newly magical place to her now, and she was delighted with it.]

[chocolatequeennk]

Always Her Doctor, 3/5

John Tyler is a teacher at Farringham, but he’s been dreaming of another life–the life of an adventure known as the Doctor. When Marion Smith appears in Farringham, he’s immediately drawn to her. And why not? Marion Smith is the mirror image of Rose Tyler–the Doctor’s wife.

Reunion set during Human Nature/Family of Blood, with Christmas overtones.

This is part of @doctorroseprompts 31 Days of Ficmas. I used the word “Shiver.” This is part of my personal 31 Days of Ficmas. It’s also a fill for @legendslikestardust‘s general winter themed fics prompt.

Yes, this is now 5 chapters instead of 4. That’s where a big part of my trouble wtih this chapter lay--trying to shove too much into it. Thank you to @lastbluetardis for helping me work my way through it.

AO3 | FF.NET | Ch 1 | Ch 2

For the next two weeks, Rose felt like she was in a fairy tale. John Tyler was very definitely the Doctor, right down to his dislike of pears. But he was the Doctor if he’d forgotten all about his years of tragedy and had the social customs of Edwardian culture superimposed over his personality.

The day after their walk, he came to the library during the slow part of the afternoon and fumbled through a formal request to court her. His determination to be upfront about his intentions was nothing at all like the way she and the Doctor slid into romance without either of them admitting it, but his uncertainty of her acceptance was certainly familiar.

The biggest surprise to Rose was how much she enjoyed being courted by the man who was already her husband. The Doctor had a secret romantic streak that she’d discovered once they were together, and that was definitely evident in John as well. Every morning, he brought her a rose after his first class. Every afternoon after his last class, they bundled up and walked the countryside together, regardless of the weather.

The first time John pressed a kiss to the back of her hand, Rose’s heart started racing. She and the Doctor had shared far more than a simple kiss to the hand, but between the reserved culture and the three years that had passed since the last time they had made love, it felt unbelievably intimate.

It was the second week of December now, and the boys were studying hard for their end of term exams. Rose was too busy to leave the library to walk with John, but after the last boy left, she hurried down the hallway to his study.

She knocked twice, then let herself into the room as he’d instructed. John was straightening papers on his desk when she entered, and he looked up at her over the rim of his glasses.

His left eyebrow arched as he took in her appearance, and Rose reached up and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Sorry if I’m a little disheveled,” she told him. “I’ve been running my feet off, trying to find all the books the boys need.”

John stood up and gestured at the couch situated in front of his fireplace. Tea service was set out on the coffee table, and Rose’s mouth watered at the sight.

“You look lovely,” he said firmly. “But definitely like you could use a cuppa.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Rose mumbled as he poured two cups. She placed a scone on a plate and split it open, spreading jam onto it.

“I think two weeks courting you is enough time to learn how dependent you are on tea,” he teased as he added milk to her cup and sugar to his.

Rose chuckled and took her cup. “Oh, you should see me in the morning before I get my first cuppa.”

When John made a strange choking noise and coughed a few times, Rose realised how suggestive that statement sounded in 1913. Her face turned hot and she tried to hide it behind her cup.

“I just meant… I’m useless in the morning before I have a cuppa,” she stammered.

His face was pink, but the corners of his eyes crinkled up when he smiled. “I doubt you’re useless, but maybe one day I’ll have a chance to find out for myself.”

The Doctor’s cheek and teasing smile paired with John’s reserve sorely tempted Rose to throw herself into his arms, and she looked quickly around the room for something to distract her. Her gaze landed on a slim leather-bound book sitting on the table.

“What’s that?” she asked, pointing at it.

To her surprise, John’s blush spread down his neck. “That’s… Well…” He tugged on his tie, then set his cup down and picked up the book. “I told you about my dreams, if you’ll remember.”

“A little bit,” Rose agreed. “About living another life, travelling through space?”

John tapped his fingers against the cover. “Time and space,” he corrected absently. “I suppose I didn’t mention that I also travel in time.”

Rose swallowed back a lump in her throat. “No, I think I would have remembered that,” she said, her voice soft with memories.

“Well… I’ve written some of my dreams down, in here.” He opened the book and started flipping through the pages. “I don’t know if you’re interested…” He found what he was looking for and marked the spot with a scrap of paper.

The uncertain expression on his face tugged at Rose’s heart. “I alway want to hear your stories, John,” she said sincerely. Whether he was John Tyler or the Doctor, she loved to listen to him talk about the places he’d been.

John’s ears turned red, and he rubbed at the back of his neck before handing her the journal. “Only the section I marked though,” he insisted before he let go of it.

“Of course,” she promised, and he finally let her have it.

Rose looked at the cover and traced over the title first. “A Journal of Impossible Things,” she read aloud. Then she flipped the slim volume open to the place John had indicated, about halfway through. She caught a fleeting glimpse of the earlier pages in the book and realised most of them were filled with sketches of her. Ah, no wonder he was so adamant that I not look through the rest of his journal.

When she reached the page he’d marked, there was a sketch of a young boy in a gas mask on one side, and the words “Everybody lives!” written in bold letters on the facing page. In the Doctor’s familiar scrawl, she read the story about the mysterious gold dust that was able to turn humans into monsters.

No mention of Captain Jack, she noticed wryly. She had to stifle a giggle—it would be impossible to explain to John that she was amused by her husband’s selective memory.

“So the gold dust saved them all in the end?” she asked when she got to the last few words of the story.

John nodded. “Everybody lives. Those are the best days…” He loved the smile on Marion’s face. “I sometimes think how magical life would be if stories like this were true.”

Marion hummed in agreement. “Other planets, and miraculous gold dust that can heal all wounds? It sounds like a fairy tale.” She smiled up at him. “I think I’d like to live in that world, though.”

John beamed at her. Of course Marion understood his dreams—she understood him, better than anyone else in the universe. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he bit them back. It was still much too soon to go confessing his love.

He cleared his throat and gestured at the journal. “The Doctor has a good life. Flying through time and space, seeing the universe, helping people along the way… There’s a bit of trouble now and then of course, but it always works out in the end.”

“Oh, I think trouble is just the bits in between,” Marion countered.

She handed the journal back to John before he could recover from once again hearing her repeat words straight out of his dream. He tried so hard to keep Rose and Marion separate in his mind, and moment like this made it almost impossible.

“John?”

He blinked and realised that Rose—no, Marion—had stood up. “Hmmm?”

“It’s time for supper. Are you going down?”

John looked at the clock on the mantel. Somehow, it was already six o’clock. “Ah. Yes, of course.” Marion waited while he pulled his suit coat on, then they walked down to the dining room together.

“So tomorrow I was thinking we could take a walk in the evening, after dinner,” John said. “There’s a meteor shower happening right now, and I’d love to look at the stars with you.”

There was a long pause before Marion answered, and her voice sounded strained when she spoke. “I would love that, John.” She smiled at him as they started down the stairs.

On the landing, a large, red invitation pinned to the bulletin board caught John’s eye. His eyes widened when he realised he’d forgotten to do one very important thing. “The village Christmas dance is the day after tomorrow.”

“Mm-hmm,” Marion agreed.

“Would you… That is, I had hoped you would go with me. But it just occurred to me that I never asked.” He rubbed at his neck and tried to avoid Marion’s gaze.

To his surprise, instead of answering, she giggled. “Oh, John,” she said fondly when he looked up at her. “I suppose you should have asked, but I’d already assumed we were going together.”

Relief swept through him. “You had?”

She nodded, then the tip of her tongue peeked out from behind her teeth as she gave him a cheeky smile. “I even have a new dress, just for the occasion.”

oOoOo

The chill December wind cut through Rose’s coat as she crept across the frozen field to the TARDIS. The sun wouldn’t rise for more than an hour yet, and even when it came up, it wouldn’t offer much warmth.

The TARDIS wasn’t much warmer, but she was warm enough for Rose’s cheeks to thaw. She knew it was risky, coming to visit the ship when they were supposed to be hiding, but she couldn’t leave the old girl alone.

Rose pulled off her glove and rested her bare hand on a strut. Hello, dear. She waited, and a moment later, she got the softest hum in reply. Just two more weeks, then we’ll be home. Oh, I’ve missed you.

She didn’t linger long. If her presence was missed at the school, it would be hard to explain where she’d been. But two weeks living under an alias had put a strain on her, and she just needed a moment to be Rose Tyler with someone who really knew her.

The ship’s hum echoed in her mind, surrounding her like a hug. Then it seemed to urge her to the door. Go, Wolf. You’ll be home soon.

After leaving, Rose patted the blue wooden door one last time, then set out through the misty grey dawn to go back to her made-up life.

oOoOo

John whistled Christmas carols as he left the library. He’d given Marion her rose, and this morning, she’d given him a book in exchange. A complete history of Cardiff hadn’t struck him as a very interesting topic, but her warm brown eyes had sparkled when she handed it to him.

“You should read over the section about the Christmas disaster,” she’d told him, indicating the page she’d marked.

Then she’d looked around, and after seeing they were alone, she’d risen up on her toes and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. When John had put his hand to the spot and looked at her in astonishment, she blushed prettily.

“I just want you to know,” she’d whispered. “I’m so glad I met you.” She’d bitten her lip, then quickly added, “This you, now.”

A group of boys had entered the library before he could reply. He wanted to know what she’d meant by the last, cryptic remark, but she hurried over to help the pupils, and he’d waved to her and left without a word.

The door to his study was ajar when he arrived, and he greeted Martha absently as he entered the room.

“What do you have there, sir?” she asked as she dusted the mantel. She seemed to spend a lot of time dusting that particular location, but perhaps there was something about it that collected dust.

John sat down in front of the fireplace and flipped the book open to the chapter Rose had marked for him. “A book on the history of Cardiff,” he said as he skimmed the chapter on the Christmas disaster.

“Of Cardiff?” Martha turned quickly, her duster waving in the air as she moved.

John looked at up at her, and he had to bite back a smile at the disdain on her face. “Yes, Cardiff,” he replied calmly. “Marion wanted me to read about the Christmas explosion in 1869.”

“Yeah, of course she did.” Martha put her hands on her hips and glanced around the room. “Well, I think I’m done, Mr. Tyler. Will you be taking tea alone today, or shall I bring up a tray for two like I did yesterday?”

“Just me today, Martha. Thank you.” John flipped the book back open and settled in to read.

oOoOo

“Oh, it is freezing out here!” Martha exclaimed as she carried hers and Jenny’s drinks back outside. “Why can’t we have a drink inside the pub?” She’d been looking forward to this night out, but she’d forgotten that they wouldn’t be sitting inside, warmed by the pub’s cheery fire.

Jenny laughed and shook her head. “Now, don’t be ridiculous,” she admonished.

“I’m not being ridiculous,” Martha said hotly. Normally she’d try to stay quiet, but the daily reminders of how much the Doctor loved Rose Tyler were getting under her skin. She just couldn’t stand to be condescended to, not even by her friend. “We don’t deserve to be treated like this, Jenny. We’re people, just like those men.”

Jenny narrowed her eyes, and Martha had the uncomfortable sensation that she was being studied. A gust of wind swept through the garden and an owl hooted in the background while Martha waited for Jenny to say something.

Finally, Jenny said, “I think I know what’s really upsetting you, and it isn’t sitting out in the cold.”  

Martha shifted on the rough wooden bench and pulled her coat tighter around herself. “Because that’s not enough?”

Jenny shook her head. “You’ve been upset for at least a week now… but I think it’s more like two weeks, ever since Miss Smith arrived.”

Martha could feel her face grow hot, and she took a drink of her beer to hide her red cheeks.

“See, I knew it.” Jenny leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest, a smirk on her face. “You tried to say you only cared about Mr. Tyler because he was kind to you, but I knew there was more to it than that.”

“No, I just…” Martha sighed and looked up at the sky. “I just want to go home,” she whispered.

It was the first time she’d admitted it to herself. Travelling with the Doctor was never supposed to be a permanent arrangement, not for her. She had a life back in her own time, a life where she didn’t constantly feel like second best.  

Plus, the longer I’m away the harder it will be to pass my exams, she reminded herself.

A green light pulsed in the sky, and Martha straightened up, all thoughts of the Doctor and Rose and what would happen when they left 1913 forgotten.

“Did you see that?”  

Jenny looked up at the sky, then back at Martha. “See what?”

The light had faded, but Martha knew what she’d seen. It had looked just like all those supposedly faked pictures of people spotting alien landings.

She got to her feet, still staring at the sky. “Did you see it, though? Right up there, just for a second.”

“Martha, there’s nothing there.”

Familiar voices drifted towards them, coming down the road in the direction of the school. Martha narrowed her eyes and peered into the darkness, and she wasn’t surprised when Mr. Tyler and Rose came around a bend in the road.

“It was a light, John, a bright green light,” Rose insisted. She spotted Martha and pointed at the sky. “Did you see it, Martha?”

Martha nodded. Mr. Tyler sighed in amused exasperation, but the four of them all looked up at the sky, waiting for another sign that Martha and Rose weren’t just seeing something.

Their patience was rewarded a moment later when a streak of light crossed the horizon. Jenny gasped. “Oh, that’s beautiful.”

Rose turned to Mr. Tyler, tugging gently on his arm. “There, you see,” she said, and Martha suspected she was the only one who could hear the urgency under her teasing voice. “I wasn’t imagining things, John.”

Mr. Tyler smiled at her. “I never said you were, Marion. Just that it couldn’t possibly be aliens like the Doctor encounters.” He winked at her, then looked at all three women. “It was a meteor,” he explained. “Just rocks falling to the ground, that’s all.”

Martha and Rose exchanged a glance, then Rose looked back at the sky. “It looked like it came down in the woods,” she said. “That’s the direction it was going, at least.”  

Mr. Tyler shook his head. “No, no, no. No, they always look close, when actually they’re miles off. Nothing left but a cinder.”

Rose pursed her lips. She couldn’t explain it, but she knew that hadn’t been just a meteor. And while it could be a coincidence that aliens had just landed close to where the Doctor was hiding, she wouldn’t bet on it.

Years of Torchwood training came to the fore, and the only thing that kept her from haring across the fields to check it out was the certainty that John would follow her if she did. If the Family had found them, the last thing she wanted to do was lead him straight to them.

She shivered at the thought. John must have felt it, because a moment later, he dropped her hand and draped his own scarf around her neck. “You’re shivering, darling,” he murmured, forgetting their audience for a moment. “I should get you back to the school.”

He stepped back and turned slightly to address Martha and Jenny. “Would either of you ladies like an escort back?”

Martha shook her head. “No, we’re fine, thanks.”

Rose raised her eyebrows, and Martha gave a very small nod. The knot of tension between her shoulder blades eased. If she couldn’t be the one to explore the impact site, having Martha go was the next best option.

John tipped his hat to Martha and Jenny. “Then we shall bid you goodnight.”

The walk back to the school was mostly silent. It had gotten too cold to talk comfortably, but beyond that, Rose’s mind was completely focused on the possibility that they’d been discovered. She was drawing up escape plans in her mind, going over possible contingencies and evaluating the danger of each to civilian life.

They were almost to the gates when John pulled her to a stop. “I said I wanted to show you the stars,” he said softly when Rose looked up at him. “This isn’t the vantage point I had in mind, but it will do.”

He leaned against the stone wall and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his cheek against her temple. Rose closed her eyes and took a deep breath. John didn’t smell exactly like the Doctor—there was a faint scent of paper and ink clinging to him after days spent writing and grading papers—but under everything else, there was still something familiar about the way he smelled.

“Look, Marion.” John raised an arm and pointed across the open field. Hundreds of stars glittered on the inky expanse. “Can you imagine being out there, walking across alien worlds?”

A meteor shot across the sky before Rose could answer. She rested her hands on top of John’s and squeezed. “Make a wish,” she whispered.

He sighed, and a moment later, she felt his lips brush against her temple. The bond flared in response to the contact, and they both sucked in a breath.

“I already have what I wished for,” John said, his voice husky. “Marion…”

She turned and put her hands on his chest, over where his hearts would be if he weren’t human. “Yes, John.”

“Is it too early… Two weeks isn’t long enough…”

Rose’s breath caught in her throat when she realised what he was trying to say. “Maybe not for some people, but I was looking for you for so long…”

A shaft of moonlight illuminated John’s face, and she could see the wonder in his eyes. “I dreamt about you,” he admitted. “You’re there, in the Doctor’s life. No, you are the Doctor’s life. And then… you were gone, and he was lost.”

Rose pressed her lips together to hold back a sob. She didn’t know exactly which memories of their life together had seeped through into John’s dreams, but she knew the pain of that separation all too well.

He lifted his hand and a moment later, his cool glove touched her cheek as he brushed a strand of hair back over her ear. “In two weeks, you’ve become just as important to me as Rose is to the Doctor. You… you understand me, Marion. You know the things about me that I’ve never told anyone. And I…”

He closed his eyes and Rose held her breath, waiting. When he opened them, the tenderness in his gaze was so familiar that she ached. And she’d seen it recently, she realised. She’d seen it last week, when he’d helped her over a log blocking the road. Two days ago, when he’d handed her a deep red rose. And tonight, when he’d tied an extra scarf around her neck.

“And you?” she prompted. Her hands crept up over his shoulders to link loosely behind his neck.

He reached up and cupped her face between his hands. “And I love you.”

The words obviously came more easily to John than they had the Doctor, but everything else about the moment was familiar. They’d been alone then, too, staring up at the stars being pulled into a black hole. And in the quietness, he’d whispered those words so softly that Rose almost hadn’t believed her ears.

She whispered his name and repeated the words, just like she had on Krop Tor. And just like that night, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.