#everythings floating in my head

[raidante]

going thru smt oc tags on tumblr and while i see a few it seems im the only person rlly out there in megaten fandom (western spaces at least) whos pubicly building his own original smt scenario with new enviroments/characters/etc p much independent like a brand new entry.... im really surprised a lot of people also seem interested in it... definitely encourages me to keep going.

[teaboot]

Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.

This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.

You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.

For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.

White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.

Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.

Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.

The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.

There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.

The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"

You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.

Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.

Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.

Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.

If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.

If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.

When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".

[fatedroses]

I appear out of the aether to offer a zenos-trained, combat medic tallphinaud.

[finnprof]

javier page from last year

[oof-ow-my-bone]

twiddles my thumbs uhh umm.. started watching gravity falls ahah…

[ishgard]

There comes a point in every multiverse where someone has to start keeping track of it all...

[moonsvillain]

hotwings au where hawks is a vampire, dabi is a human, and they meet through the vampire equivalent of doordash.

dabi shows up at his door, scruffy and woozy (guy who's been doing this as a full time job and is not coping with the blood loss very well)

hawks is (rightfully) concerned and is ready to cancel his order but dabi immediately disagrees because "that'll fuck up my ratings sooo bad dude don't be an asshole"

hawks: "???"

dabi: "i really need this job man"

hawks kinda shrugs and asks if dabi's up to anything for the next few hours and dabi doesn't have anything going on so hawks invites him in and immediately sits this guy down on his couch to feed him and let him rest for at least four hours so he's not indirectly accused of manslaughter

one must imagine the disposition of an alley cat encountering canned food for the first time: internal battle of mistrust versus yummy treats

dabi goes down kicking and screaming

(the day he goes over to hawks' place it's raining so hard you can barely see and all dabi has is a cheap plastic poncho. hawks' place has heating—he very 'reluctantly' curls up on the couch)

hawks is probably the worst cook on earth but when he tells dabi this, he refuses to let hawks order food for him; dabi would literally rather die than subject another minimum wage worker to the storm outside just to come to this rich asshole's home

which ends up with dabi in hawks' kitchen, making himself a meal

(which, he probably wouldn't usually do this, but the blood loss is kind of getting to him. dabi's decision making has slowly trickled down to the average level it is when he gets drunk)

when he's fed and warm and hawks has forced him to watch two animated movies dabi could not give less of a shit about he finally turns to dabi like

"ok i know we're having a great time but also i really need to eat something. like. you. preferably."

dabi shrugs and offers up his arm, getting progressively more sleepy while hawks finishes his meal before falling asleep pressed against hawks' side

wakes up the next morning with a blanket pulled over him, cheek pressed to a throw pillow with a littleee bit of drool staining the fabric under him

sits up and looks around, armed only with blurry memories of the night before

("did i... sleep with this guy...!?!??!?")

finds a note on the table and unfolds it, trying to figure out what the hell is going on

(lovedddd hanging w u yesterday :P off at work feel free 2 make urself breakfast before u go. U should know where everything is. tip on the counter 4 u. xoxo hawks)

dabi, slightly mortified at the implication he rooted around in this guy's kitchen when he was out of it yesterday finds the tip

it's literally, like, $500 dollars

dabi scribbles down his phone number and sticks it on the fridge with a magnet

(half because he really needed that money and is pleasantly surprised that he got rent money a week earlier than he was expecting)

(half because he might not remember yesterday entirely, but he remembers feeling safe and warm and being addicted to that rare sensation)

hawks is very happy when he gets home, even if dabi isn't there, when he finds his little gift on the fridge

[cchocolatekat]

prey

/prā/

[ro-bee]

I should be sleeping but I can't, I feel nervous tonight

But I'm gonna thank you for the birthday wishes, thanks a lot 🥺❤ I hope you guys have an amazing day as well ❤

[zolo-san]

heyo ya girl finally finished Dressrosa last night✌️

did not think I was going to come out of that arch a lawlu shipper but here we are folks~

[flufflecat]

Alex Hirsch called on my sister for a question about the creative industry, and he had the kindest things to say

[trebuchet151]

To summarize: life is ok but overwhelming af. I am here lurking regularly but havent had the spoons to post much. Im in the process of changing jobs and moving again and just havent had the brain space for much of anything except screaming internally and sleep tbh

Forced myself to be social yesterday and visited a farmers market and now im baking a cake :)

I will enjoy my last week in this apartment and not just bed rot the whole time that is a threat and a promise.

Gonna have a chill night in and try to catch up on some of the tag games from last week tonight plus some several months old asks about my rook that got eaten by tumblr and just showed up again recently

[macdenlover]

i Will write a several page long detailed analysis about the role of order and democracy within in the gang’s dynamic and the strings of distorted logic and reasoning that glue them together i WILL write it i WILL WRITE IT (i’ve been saying this for years and i still haven’t done it)

[hallowed-somnolence]

damn turns out its a lot easier to draw gems hair how i want to in a lineless style

[alchemania]

Snow White Dove, Blood Stained Wings.

(Or, the Traveler has a harrowing encounter which leaves her reeling.)

There is a shivering blob of white amongst the snow of Dragonspine, and as Lumine draws closer, jet black hair accented by hot pink stands out in sharp contrast.

Oh. That's a body.

“Hello?” the blonde called, kneeling down and ignoring how the cold bit into her legs. “Can you hear me?” No answer, so she shook the smaller person a little roughly, causing a pair of snow white wings to pop up and flitter rapidly as they jolted awake. Lumine screamed and leaned back, trying to avoid getting walloped in the face, and watched as the other person hissed and grabbed their right wing- now that the Traveler looked closer, it was moving oddly …was it broken? “Here, let me help you up. There's a church down in the city,” and strong hands lift the other person out of the snow - now that she can see the face, it seems to be another young lady, and her cheeks and nose are rosy from the chill.

“..thank you,” the girl manages, leaning all her weight on the Traveler. “You are too kind..”

It doesn't take too long to get to the church, taking the teleporters. The petite young lady is tucked into a bed and told to rest, and after ensuring she'll be alright, Lumine makes way to go.

“..it seems the rumors were true, you really will help just about anyone.. I wonder if one day, that will be your downfall..”

Lumine stopped in her tracks, looking to the inhabitant in the bed in her peripheral vision. She looked so small, the blankets covering her up about to her chin, but the room suddenly felt very, veryyyyy cold.

“..what do you mean by that,” she hears herself say, by some miracle.

“Oh…don't pay me any attention,” the raven haired girl placated, waving a hand weakly. “Simply thinking aloud..”.

“..who are you,” Lumine demanded, turning fully around to face the bed as her expression hardened.

“Does that matter..? Would you have left me alone on that mountain to die if you didn't like the answer?”

Silence.

“.. I don't mean you any harm, Traveler, or the people of Mondstadt, if that's what you're worried about," was the quiet reply after a long moment. "I swear it. But I'm aware you do not like the people I work with very much, and so I deemed it best to keep my mouth shut until you offered me assistance.”

“The folks you work with,” Lumine repeated almost dumbly, looking more and more rattled by the moment.

“You got one of my coworkers killed back in Inazuma. Does that ring any bells???”

Lumine can't breathe.

“You're a Harbinger?”

Rapidly, she goes down the list in her mind. Signora was dead, and she'd already met Arlecchino, so this had to be either Sandrone or Columbina.

“Which one?” she barely manages.

“The Damsel,” the girl replies easily, eyes finally opening - they're a beautiful magenta, almost mesmerizing. “Nice to meet you, Traveler. You don't have to be afraid. Like I said, I have no desire to harm you, or anyone here. It's a little disheartening to think you may have simply abandoned me if you knew who I was beforehand….. but at least that's not what happened, no? I don't know why you're so flustered, Master Childe speaks so highly of you -”

“He's NOT my friend!”

There go the wings again, slightly.

“.. we're not all horrible people, you know. Not all of us had a choice in this.”

Lumine thinks of the twins, and Freminet.

Columbina looks sad now, genuinely so.

“...Why can't you understand that?”

“Well, sorry for being a little on edge, considering some of your coworkers have tried to KILL me -”

“But I'm not them. I already said I have no interest in harming you. Do you think that I'm lying?”

Silence, painful.

“Perhaps if you stopped looking at us through your black and white lens, you'll see that we, and you, are much closer to grey than you'd like to admit -”

The door slams, the sound resounding. Lumine is gone.

Columbina closes her eyes, sighing.

“...well. You can't fault a girl for trying.”

She steeples her hands over her chest then, expression thoughtful. “The heart that forever bleeds will one day cease to beat. . I wonder if she will realize that before it's too late. I surely hope so.”

And the Harbinger slept.

[afrenomes]

It feels like I’ve forgotten how to make art

which sucks because I’m supposed to be, like, making a career out of this