#evil alien conquerors

[foggyinphx]

[spockvarietyhour]

Elden Henson

[uhhhhmanda]

My personal favorite: appalling yet strangely compelling.

the whole squad

[blastingwario]

So recently I last night I watched the movie called evil alien conquerors the whole movie is about two aliens going to earth to eradicate the human one name my ki and the other one name du ug they met a guy name Kenny they had drinks and they gotten jobs and trying to find a way to destroy the human race spoiled waring they never killed anyone on earth they try killing a cow but it failed and the one dude who gets laid a lot but the whole movie was meh honestly I seen better si fi movies then that

[smallpwbbles]

Making Biolizard Shadow suffer with the fact his deadbeat alien dad is trying to possess him.

He goes through it so hard when he finds out in addition to ruining his memories of Maria and giving him enough misplaced anger to want to destroy the planet, Gerald withheld he's also built with alien DNA from an evil alien conqueror. So daddy issues x2 basically

[thewertsearch]

In that instant, her empire was gone. Gl'bgolyb's swan song wiped out her entire race, save the Condesce and her lone heiress, leaving the empire nothing more than a galactic necropolis of floating tombs.

I think that this would be a very interesting setting to explore, as the dust settles.

Picture it. You’re an alien race, one of thousands that have been enslaved by these awful galactic conquerors for untold centuries. One day, with no warning or apparent explanation, every single one of them starts howling in unbelievable pain, streams of technicolor blood erupt from their eyeballs, and they die.

Once the celebrations have died down, how does the galaxy respond? How do you rebuild civilization around such an enormous, unexpected power vacuum? Do the former colonies unite, salvage what they can from Alternian infrastructure, and try to form a government of their own? Does the universe devolve into anarchy, with everyone fighting over the mountains of resources now unguarded?

What happens to your sci-fi setting, when your Evil Galactic Empire is just... erased?

She should arrive any minute now. When she does, she will find nothing but ruins and dust.

And, in the midst of all of this – what do you do if you’re the lone Empress, the last of the trolls? How long can you survive, when every single being in the galaxy would shoot you on sight?

If she cared to look closer, she would find a city of slain exiles, a man on the moon, and a pair of black lovers locked in a deadly dance.

A man on one of the moons, anyway. We still don’t know anything about Alternia’s pink moon – and, considering the dark significance of the Green Moon, I’m awfully suspicious of its sister satellite. Who’s living there?

But whether she looks or not, one thing will find her with certainty. A new employment opportunity.

The Condesce is fresh out of options, and has nowhere else to go - and if there's one thing Scratch likes, it's a woman who's out of options.

Why, though? What use is a dethroned empress to Scratch – or English, for that matter?

Anyway, the last of the twelve ancestors arrived a bit late. In fact, she would cross through her portal six centuries after the descendants had come and gone.

I would raise the girl to be groomed for her calling. My lessons would emphasize obedience, mastery of the clockwork majyyks, and being locked in a room.

So that's what's up with Fauxradia.

Megido, I am so fucking sorry. In a comic packed to the brim with terrible parents, you still managed to win the lottery. The absolute fucking jackpot.

You literally cannot get any lower than being raised by Doc Scratch.

[ckret2]

Do you have any fun ideas or headcanons regarding Aku and Jack's relationship? It's so weirdly casual sometimes

sure, a few random thoughts:

1- there oughta be more incidents where they show up to battle and one of them is like "i'm sorry, i'm just not feeling it today, can i take a rain check on this fight?" and the other one instead of going TIME TO PUSH MY ADVANTAGE AND FINISH HIM OFF FOR GOOD just goes "ah, yeah, sure, how do you feel about Tuesday" without even thinking about it. because it's funny. in canon typically aku's the one who goes whoa time out so we need some times where jack does it and aku's just like sure.

2- I think it'd be really easy to force Aku & Jack to team up. All you have to do is have Earth get invaded by something more threatening than Aku. The show's established that Jack's sword is the only thing that can kill Aku, but it's not the only thing that can overpower Aku; just within the show we know that the goddess of water is strong enough to prevent Aku from stealing her jewel, there's gotta be other forces that can take him.

Aku wants to hold Earth at any cost. Enough to recruit Jack? Sure; it's not the first time he's exploited Jack to achieve one of his villainous goals.

Jack wants to save Earth from evil at any cost; and Aku is an evil dictator who's hard to defeat, but this alien conqueror is an even more evil dictator who's even more difficult to defeat and whom Jack HASN'T spent his whole life specifically training to defeat. So better to work with Aku to defeat a would-be conqueror so that Jack only has to fight Aku, rather than let this other conqueror take out Aku and then try to fight that new conqueror without a superpowered shapeshifter's assistance.

It also doesn't necessarily have to be an evil conqueror. (Or, well, not conventionally "evil" by the way the show defines the good/evil dichotomy as something that can be inborn & tangible.) Like, say the gods that slew the black mass go "okay it's taking too long to kill Aku and we don't want his influence to spread off Earth. better just blow up Earth to be safe, we don't want a tiny scrap of Aku escaping like last time." Aku doesn't want that, Jack doesn't want that, now they have to team up. It's probably fine to kill some gods as long as you're eventually planning to go back to the past and undo the circumstances that necessitated killing the gods in the first place, right? right??

lots of options! If you wanna make it happen, you can make it happen.

3- if you headcanon that Aku spawned already knowing stuff because he was, like, absorbing info from his immediate environment and/or sucking info out of the brains of his victims or whatever (which is what I headcanon), then that means he and Jack basically come from the same culture, Fantasy Kingdom in Fantasy Japan. And Aku gave himself a Japanese name (and kept it for millennia rather than telling people to call him "Evil" in their own languages) so like, it seems likely that he was somehow magically culturally Japanese from birth.

And that means they're the only two people in the future from this culture. Jack runs into a few people trying to maintain Japanese culture, but they're thousands of years removed from the world he knew. If he wants to talk to somebody who knows and understands the world he grew up in, his options are this one immortal Shaolin monk (who's Chinese, so not quite from home), aaand Aku himself.

Which you can use for angst, of course. But you can also use it for clowning around.

Aku's at some meeting trying to strike up an alliance (which he totally plans to violate) with some alien demigod or whatever, and he's sucking up to the demigod to their face, and then under his breath he's talking shit about them in 5000-year-old Japanese, and one of the servants at this meeting involuntarily snort-laughs so hard he drops his tray, and Aku goes "what? ... THERE'S ONLY ONE HUMAN IN THE WORLD WHO COULD UNDERSTAND WHAT I JUST SAID" and jack rips off his disguise and goes for his sword and curses himself for his mistake but unfortunately aku was right the demigod's face DOES look like a goat's butthole and he did NOT expect to hear aku say that how was jack supposed to not laugh

Jack compares Aku to the villain in some play that was popular when he was a kid and Aku's like "that villain was a boss tho" and Jack goes "HE WAS LITERALLY EXECUTED AT THE END" and Aku goes "THANKS TO A BADLY-WRITTEN PLOT TWIST AND A DEUS EX MACHINA" and Jack goes "LIKE THE DEUS EX MACHINA I'M WIELDING??" and now they're arguing about the plot of a play that's been forgotten for millennia while a dozen allies/minions stand around awkwardly waiting for them to get to the point.

Jack's taking a day off because today happens to be some holiday from his home and he's confused that no one else seems to be working that day and everyone's like "oh yeah Aku kept that holiday, he actually liked it" and as much as Jack hates Aku for destroying all the good things from the past, now he kind of hates Aku for preserving one good thing, like what could this day possibly mean to Aku, how dare he taint it with his evil. (it's probably, like, Fantasy Japan Arbor Day or something. Aku's a tree, of course he kept tree day.)

Jack's taking a day off because it's his birthday and there's a huge festival going on in the city and he goes "what??" and everyone's like "oh yeah annual holiday, it's Aku's birthday" and that fucks Jack up a little.

4- the title of the guy in charge of commanding samurai was "shogun." Like that's what the word MEANS, it's the general who runs the army during an era when the army consisted of samurai. and Aku calls himself "the shogun of sorrow." which makes it interesting that the only threat to Mr. Guy-In-Charge-Of-Samurai is a single very determined samurai.

I imagine that for perhaps thousands of years—probably before he got his robot army—Aku likely had an army of samurai. Either humans forced to fight for him, evil humans voluntarily fighting for him, or some sorta shadow demon things he created himself.

(i think, in spite of Jack's influence, Aku may still have a tendency to turn to samurai as his default idea of Something That Should Be Fighting For Me—but that's a whole nother headcanon post.)

Jack doesn't seem to dig much into the history of Aku's rule—he's much more preoccupied with the current state of Aku's rule—but if he does do even a little digging, he'd probably find that, for millennia, the image of samurai has been Aku's earliest and most loyal warriors.

and if you roll with this headcanon, it says a lot that it took so little time for Aku to start using the phrase "the samurai" to mean "that one specific samurai that isn't loyal to me." Millions, perhaps billions of samurai may have been in his army over the millennia; but the one that stands out—THE samurai—is Jack.

5- idk if it says anything about his relationship to Jack Specifically but it's wild to me that Aku just left what's left of Jack's homeland. When Jack transported into the future, I assumed the city he ended up in was the same location he'd just left, and Aku had just stayed put for the next few millennia building the place up into his capitol as he expanded over the rest of the world. But no, Jack finds the ruins of his home, abandoned.

You could use it as an example of Aku's callousness—he was born here, he got his start here, but it meant so little to him that he just moved out one day without a glance back and didn't even think about the devastation he'd left behind. But that doesn't quite ring true to me. This location is ground zero for Earth's Aku-ification but it seems almost untouched by Aku's influence, as if he'd never been there. It wasn't destroyed. It wasn't razed to the ground. It was never built over with something new. I feel like there's a deliberateness to that abandonment.

I feel like he wanted to give off the appearance of callous careless abandonment—"oh, this place means nothing to me. I care about it so little I'm not even interested in calling attention to it by destroying it! I have zero emotions about this place. So don't notice it. It doesn't tell you anything about my history."

[almaroy]

Furry orange spoon is doing his favorite thing - pissing off the evil conqueror. Paying homage to my favorite alien cartoons.

I realized in the process of drawing this one - how different in spirit they are….

[avengersmansion-official]

Can we talk about that whole...thing with the Triune Understanding from a few years back? In particular, is it true that the various protests and counterprotests about the Avengers lineup at the time including Mutants but no Black people were astroturfed by the TU?

In short, yes.

(photo from a Triune Understanding pamphlet of Jonathan Tremont, the group's founder and leader)

The Triune Understanding was a cult group founded by Jonathan Tremont. According to the group's own history, as a youth, Tremont grew up in the Indian Himalayas, the youngest of three brothers affected by some mysterious "Triad Energy". As the story goes, while Tremont's elder brothers were wise and strong, Tremont himself was charming, and when his brothers died from illness, Tremont absorbed their souls within himself, gaining their strength and wisdom.

Some time later, Harold Chandler, the adventurer known as 3-D Man, came through Tremont's village, and hired Tremont as a guide through the mountains. Upon learning that Chandler's powers were derived from this same Triad energy, Tremont struck him and took his powers as well.

Possessing this Triad Energy led Tremont to have a vision of a coming threat dubbed the "Triple-Evil", and convinced him to move to the United States and start the Triune Understanding in preparation to fight it. There, he began to gather followers and search for a successor to Chandler under the guise of maximizing human potential.

After a battle between the Avengers and the villains Lord Templar and Pagan (themselves plants by the Understanding), Tremont launched a smear campaign against the team, publicly blaming them for the destruction caused by the battle.

(partial screencap of a local news broadcast, featuring the protests outside Avengers Mansion staged by the Triune Understanding)

Alongside public media criticism, Tremont also orchestrated protests against the Avengers, criticizing supposed religious intolerance and racism while also highlighting their support of the so-called "mutant conspiracy."

This was all a psyop in order to get a Triune Understanding plant onto the team, Tremont's chosen successor for the 3-D Man powers, former Olympian Delroy Garrett Jr., alias Triathlon.

(fan art by @camleecomics of Delroy Garrett as Triathlon)

Imbued with three times the strength, speed, and stamina of a normal Olympic athlete, Triathlon was recruited into the Avengers as a response to the Triune's protests. A devout Triune himself, Triathlon had difficulty fitting into the team at first, but soon became a true-blue Avenger, proving himself on multiple occasions, including against Moses Magnum and the extradimensional alien conqueror called Starro.

The Triune's machinations came to a head in the midst of Kang the Conqueror's assault on Earth. While the Avengers were spread thin dealing with Kang and his lackeys, the Triple Evil appeared on the dark side of the moon in the form of a black pyramid.

The Avengers and Tremont boarded the pyramid, only for Tremont to attempt to seize power for himself rather than destroy the evil, intending to conquer the Earth after defeating Kang. Tremont perished helping the Avengers against Kang, and the Triune Understanding disbanded soon after, listless without their leader.

It's long been said that the Avengers' most dangerous foes are the ones they can't punch, and this certainly held true for the Triune Understanding. Jonathan Tremont was a master manipulator, and got his just deserts for his sins, but there's no denying that the Triune Understanding's self-help teachings helped a lot of people, nor that Triathlon (now 3-D Man) is proof that good can come out of what others intend for evil.

[wolf-tail]

I choose to believe that the greatest victim of the MCU's quippy "he's right behind me isn't he" bathos that undercuts every single bit of coherent emotional attention in the franchise is none other than Thor Odinsson, and I will die on this hill.

He was overshadowed by his emo twink brother (still a fascinating character I might add, Loki was personally victimized by the MCU's writers too) and the writers from that point on refused to do anything actually good with him.

Let's see what his movie cycle was like.

First film? Loved it! I may be seeing it through the rose hinted glasses of it being my first Marvel movie, but it was a heartfelt story about two arrogant alien princes being forced apart by the shitty parenting of a selfish father, with only one being able to escape it by learning to embrace his genuinely kind and intelligent inner nature, also by meeting a person he considered "lesser" and learning to reckognize her as his intellectual equal in a way even the ordinary people around her refused to.

The second film? Almost completely forgettable plot. Bland ass disposable monster-of-the-week villain, shitty romantic subplot tumor that completely destroys the previously established relationship, and establish the tradition of Loki's arc completely overshadowing his brothers in his own title movie.

Third movie? Nail in the coffin for Thor's entire character, and dead knell for the MCU in general. It established a very shitty trend of writing and directing where none of the actually important serious moments are actually treated with any of the seriousness they deserve to be. That's not even mentioning whatever the hell is going on with Odin's character. Is he a well meaning father who did his best but it wasn't enough? Is he a murderous conqueror who turned his own child into a super weapon and then locked her away when he didn't want to play with her anymore and then escaped the consequences by dying? The movie tries to strike a balance between the two and absolutely falls flat. The few good parts include Jeff Goldblum's character and the weird sexual tension he has with Loki. He fucked that old man.

Fourth Movie? Literally almost everything bad about the modern MCU condensed into one shitty film. They even included the newer element of "guy who has incredibly valid points and wants to shake up the status quo such doing evil shit for no reason to justify the heroes killing him." Hate that fuckass movie.

How about his appearances in the Avengers films?

First film? Still has a lot of his dumb ass energy with too few of his genuine smartness the first film established, but generally quite good.

Second Film? He was in it? Barely remember.

Third? He was in it and played a crucial role in the final conflict, but didn't have an arc.

Fourth. AUGHGUHHH WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. LOOK HOW THEY MASSACRED MY FUCKING BOYYYYYYYY. The fatphobia ALONE makes me punch walls, but nothing pisses me off more than when a character.I love has genuine trauma and pain.But the story plays it off for jokes. Literally everything that the mcu has ever done wrong with his character was just immusified into a disgusting slop they slathered all over this atrocity of a movie.

Thor Odinson my sweet pookie Kevin Feige never deserved you

[selfless-solipsist]

°˖✧ The Tea ✧˖° [Planet Janet]

「 ✦ “You ever think about therapy, Janet?”✦ 」

╰┈➤ Planet Janet x Female Reader ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ (Yes really)

> I tried, okay? > Also, I used the gif with Wander because I couldn't find one with ONLY Janet. Besides, it's cute.

You and Janet—what a pair. Who knew that galactic conquerors and sentient planets could bond over tea, pancakes, and a shared love of spilling the cosmic tea about everyone else? Your weekly visits to Janet's surface had become a ritual, a bizarre yet oddly soothing routine in the whirlwind of your chaotic life. Every Sunday, you would make the trek to her, perched atop your sleek starship like a villainess on a throne. As you landed, Janet would practically roll out the green carpet—literally. Vines would snake toward your feet, forming a path of flowers that seemed to sigh at your approach. The air would fill with the scent of syrup and fresh pancakes as if the universe itself conspired to make you stay.

Janet always greeted you with that same excited giggle, which you imagined was her equivalent of screaming into a pillow out of pure joy like an excited teenage girl. You were her best friend, after all, and she made sure you knew it. The cottage she had "grown" on her surface just for your visits was ridiculously cozy—almost too cozy. The walls were covered in alien floral wallpaper that changed patterns depending on her mood, and the place always smelled faintly of whatever celestial garden she had conjured that week.

“I made pancakes!” her voice would echo through the cottage as you stepped in, your heels clicking against the impossibly pristine floor. “Sit, sit! I added extra stardust sprinkles this time!” You would settle into a chair crafted from her vines—comfortable in a way that was almost unsettling—and take your plate, deadpan as ever.

“You know,” you would start, taking a bite, “if this whole ‘planet’ thing doesn’t work out, you could really rake it in as a cosmic brunch spot. These pancakes could end wars.”

Janet’s delighted giggle would practically cause earthquakes.

The two of you always got to gossiping. Janet had her opinions on everything—Maurice (her ex-moon, as she bitterly referred to him), the state of galactic politics, and especially the sheer audacity of some planets thinking they could pull off rings when they clearly didn’t have the gravity for it. And as for you? Well, you had plenty to share about the overly dramatic exploits of the so-called “villains” you occasionally crushed in your spare time. Your dry delivery always sent Janet into adorable fits of hysterics.

Today, though, the gossip session had taken a bizarre turn.

As you casually recounted the ridiculous antics of a wannabe overlord whose “evil laugh” sounded more like a goat in distress, her vines had slowly but surely wrapped around your arms, legs, and waist. By the time you noticed, you were cocooned like a fly in a spider’s web.

“Janet,” you said flatly, raising an unimpressed eyebrow. “Is this about me leaving again?”

Her voice came out soft and wheedling, like a child caught stealing snacks. “I just don’t want you to go... I mean, don’t you like it here? You’re my best friend!”

You sighed, leaning your head back against the vines as if they were a hammock. “We’ve talked about this. You can’t just kidnap your friends. It’s... weird.”

“I’m not kidnapping you!” she protested, vines tightening just a smidge. “I’m... giving you a hug!”

“Uh-huh. And I suppose you’ll be serving pancakes directly to my face next?” The sound of plates clinking made you glance down. Sure enough, a vine was extending a forkful of syrup-soaked pancake toward your mouth. Unfazed, you took the bite. “Okay, points for effort.”

Janet squealed in delight, the entire surface of her planet rumbling like she had just won an award. “See? You’re so happy here! Why don’t you just stay forever?”

“Because I have planets to conquer and people to terrify,” you said, deadpan. “I can’t do that from your cozy vine-chair.”

Her voice turned playful but with an edge. “Oh, I don’t know... I think you could terrify quite a lot of people just by calling this place your new home base. Imagine the fear! ‘The villainess who lives on a sentient planet!’”

You snorted. “Janet, you’re starting to sound like Maurice.”

One whine snapped like a whip.

“Don’t you dare compare me to him!” she snapped, vines twitching in a way that suggested she might fling you into the stratosphere.

“Touchy,” you said, completely unbothered. “What happened this time? Did he park in your orbit without permission again?”

“He said my volcanoes were overkill! Can you believe that? Overkill!”

 “Well, Janet... you did incinerate that asteroid last week because it ‘looked smug.’”

“It was smug!” she huffed. “Just floating there, acting like it was too good to get caught in my gravity!”

...

“You’re... definitely over him,” you deadpanned.

Janet went suspiciously quiet for a moment, her vines loosening just enough for you to stretch a leg. You knew better than to press further, but the little smile tugging at your lips said it all. If nothing else, the pancakes would keep you distracted from her possessive streak—or so you thought. She huffed, and the vines holding your arms tightened, almost like a passive-aggressive hug. “Why do you always bring him up? Maurice this, Maurice that. I’ve moved on!”

You arched an eyebrow. “Oh, totally. That’s why you have a crater on your northern hemisphere shaped like a frowny face. Real subtle, Janet.”

“That’s not a frown!” she shrieked, her voice reverberating through the air like a scorned diva at a karaoke night. “It’s modern art! You wouldn’t understand—it’s planet feelings!”

“Sure," You smirked. “Just like it wasn’t weird last week when you redirected a meteor to crash into him for ‘accidentally’ calling your oceans lukewarm.”

“He deserved it!” she snapped, vines flailing dramatically in sync with her voice. “I’m not lukewarm! My oceans are a perfect 78 degrees, with a light saline breeze!”

“And yet,” you said, as calm as a supernova before it explodes, “here we are. You, a sentient planet, and me, a mildly kidnapped villainess, discussing your volcanic breakup like we’re on some galactic talk show.”

Janet let out a melodramatic sigh, the ground rumbling beneath you. Flowers popped out of the soil, as if her emotions manifested as floral overcompensation. “I just want to be appreciated, you know? I put so much effort into everything! My waterfalls, my sunsets, my pancakes—”

“Your pancakes are phenomenal,” you said, mostly to stop her rant. A vine fed you another syrup-drenched bite before you could refuse.

“I know, right?” She preened. “Do you think Maurice ever complimented my pancakes? No! He always said things like, ‘Too much syrup, Janet,’ or ‘You can’t serve pancakes to a comet—it doesn’t have a mouth!’ He didn’t get me.”

“Yeah, Maurice is a real jerk,” you agreed around a mouthful of pancake. “But, y’know, he was your moon. Kind of literally made for you.”

Janet gasped in exaggerated offense. “Made for me? MADE FOR ME?! I’m a planet! I have billions of options! BILLIONS! You’re lucky I even let you visit—” She cut herself off, her vines quickly shifting to a far-too-gentle cradle around you. “I mean, not that I’d ever let you leave. But it’s totally not weird, right?”

“Oh, no,” you said flatly, sipping from a vine that somehow held a dainty teacup. “It’s perfectly normal to be smothered by your bestie every time you try to leave. I’m sure everyone would love being planet-wrapped. So cozy.”

Janet giggled, missing the sarcasm entirely. “See? You get me. That’s why you’re my favorite.”

“Favorite... what? Human? Friend? Pancake-eater?”

“Everything,” She replied, a suspicious amount of sincerity in her tone. Her surface glimmered in what could only be described as a planetary blush, soft hues of pink and green rippling across her landscapes.

You raised a single eyebrow, unimpressed. “You’re not trying to butter me up so I’ll stay longer, are you?”

“Me? Never!” She said, giggling nervously as her vines tightened again—just slightly. “But, uh... since we’re talking about it, you could just stay. You’re way too good for all those other boring planets.”

“Janet.” You tilted your head, voice dripping with deadpan calm. “I’m not moving in.”

“I didn’t say move in,” she shot back, clearly flustered. “I just meant, y’know... permanent visits!”

“Mm-hmm.” You looked at the vines still wrapped around you. “Because you’re so good at letting people leave.” Janet opened her metaphorical mouth to protest, but you cut her off with a pointed glance. “Look. I’ll always stay a bit for the pancakes. I’ll even stay to listen to you vent about Maurice and how he ‘never appreciated your tectonic activity.’ But at some point, I do have to get back to my evil empire.”

“But I’m lonely!” She wailed, her voice echoing through the atmosphere like a soap opera star delivering a tragic monologue. “Do you know how hard it is being a planet? The endless void of space, the silence, the meteor showers that no one even compliments me on? And then Maurice—”

“Okay, okay!” You rolled your eyes, unable to stop the smirk tugging at your lips. “You can keep me wrapped up in vines for, like, five more minutes. But after that, I am leaving. Probably.”

Janet sniffled dramatically, flowers blooming at your feet in response. “You mean it? Five whole minutes?”

“Yeah,” you deadpanned. “Just don’t forget to feed me pancakes while you monologue. Kidnapping always works better with snacks.”

She squealed in delight, her vines pulling you into an overly enthusiastic embrace. “You’re the best! I’ll make more syrup right now! Oh, oh, do you want a blueberry topping this time? Maybe some whipped nebula cream?”

“Surprise me,” you said with a sigh, leaning back into the cushy vines. “I’m already wrapped up in this mess, anyway.”

Her vines loosened just enough for you to adjust your position, which now felt less like a hostage situation and more like a bizarre spa treatment. One particularly enthusiastic vine fluffed your hair like a cosmic hairstylist who had overcaffeinated, while another twirled a napkin around your neck in preparation for what could only be described as round two of the Pancake Situation. “Whipped nebula cream and blueberry topping it is!” She declared, her voice a bubbly mix of excitement and the faintly unhinged energy you had come to expect. The ground beneath you shifted, a small geyser of syrup bubbling up from nowhere. “I’ll make this stack extra special. Only the best for my bestie!”

“You mean your only bestie,” you corrected, expressionless as ever. “Unless you’ve started taking applications.”

She let out an exaggerated gasp, the kind that made the whole atmosphere shiver. “You wound me! Like I’d let anyone else steal my best friend!” The vines squeezed you slightly—just enough to feel the weight of her emotional gravity, pun fully intended.

You groaned, though the corner of your mouth twitched upward. “Janet, if you keep acting like this, people are going to start calling you that planet. The clingy one.”

“I am NOT clingy!” she shot back, her tone defensive as wildflowers erupted around your chair.

“I’m... selective.”

“Right. Because wrapping me up in vines like a burrito is totally normal behavior.”

“It’s called affection!” she huffed. “Maybe if you weren’t so busy conquering every galaxy with your scary villain smirk, you’d get more of it.”

Your sly smile widened even more, because of course it did. “Oh, Janet, sweetie. I don’t get affection. I command it.”

Her laugh rumbled across the surface like rolling thunder. “And yet here you are, letting me feed you pancakes and braid your hair like a galactic princess.”

“Braid my—” You froze, finally noticing the intricate, alien floral pattern her vines had been weaving into your hair. “Janet!”

“What? It’s cute! You look like royalty.” She paused, a vine plucking a mirror from somewhere (where did she even store these things?) and holding it in front of you. “See? You’re glowing!”

You stared at your reflection, the deadpan expression on your face now juxtaposed with what could only be described as the most elaborate cosmic updo in the history of villainy. There were glowing flowers, swirling patterns, and even a little ribbon made of stardust. “Well,” you said after a long pause, “if I’m going to be an unwilling planet prisoner, I might as well look fabulous.”

“That’s the spirit!” Janet squealed, the landscape shimmering with excitement. “You always know how to make me laugh!”

“Yeah, I’m a real riot,” you said dryly, reaching for another pancake. “Hey, speaking of laughter, let’s talk about Maurice again. Remember the time he—”

Janet’s entire surface trembled, vines waving like an exasperated drama queen shooing away bad memories. “Ugh! Must we bring him up again? He’s so... so lunar!”

“Lunar?” you repeated, arching an eyebrow. “That’s an insult now?”

“Yes!” she snapped, voice tinged with melodrama. “He’s cold, distant, and always orbiting other things. Do you know how many asteroids he’s been hanging out with lately? Asteroids! They don’t even have atmospheres!”

You snorted. “Sounds like he’s rebounding pretty hard.”

Janet made a sound that was somewhere between a scoff and an actual volcanic eruption. “Good riddance. Let him chase his dumb little space rocks while I—while we—live our best lives.”

“Uh-huh.” You leaned back, letting her vines drape over you like a weighted blanket. “And by ‘best lives,’ you mean trapping your bestie every time she tries to leave?”

“It’s not trapping,” she insisted, although the vines around your ankles said otherwise. “It’s quality time!”

“Sure it is,” you muttered, eyeing the syrup geyser that was now accompanied by a fountain of nebula cream. “You ever think about therapy, Janet?”

“Therapy?!” She recoiled like you had suggested she downsize her volcanoes. “I don’t need therapy! I’m perfectly well-adjusted for a sentient celestial body! Besides, I have you!”

“And there it is,” You raised a fork as a vine elegantly served you another pancake. “Just promise me you won’t sprout another ‘Welcome ___ Forever!’ topiary when I leave.”

She giggled nervously, a suspicious patch of vines shuffling as though trying to hide something.

...

You narrowed your eyes. “Janet...”

“It’s tasteful!” she defended quickly, sounding every bit like someone caught decorating their crush’s locker with glittery hearts. “And besides, you’ll be back next week for pancakes anyway, so what’s the harm?”

You sighed, unable to argue with that logic. After all, who could resist a planet with gourmet pancake skills, top-notch hair braiding, and just the right amount of possessive insanity to keep things interesting? Not you, apparently. “Fine,” you said, a smirk tugging at your lips. “But if you start naming craters after me, we’re gonna have a talk.”

Her vines tightened briefly in what you assumed was her version of a mischievous hug.

As the pancakes dwindled and the conversation mellowed into a comfortable rhythm, you leaned back into her vine-crafted throne, your eyes half-lidded in a syrup-induced haze. Despite her dramatic tendencies and occasional bouts of mildly possessive planetary behavior, Janet had a charm that was impossible to deny. Maybe it was her optimism. Maybe it was the way her laugh echoed like wind through a meadow. Or maybe it was the fact that she could whip up five-star brunch in the middle of nowhere. Either way, you were… fond of her. Not that you would ever admit it aloud in a way that wasn’t laced with your signature sarcasm.

“You know,” She began, her voice soft and thoughtful, “I don’t really say it enough, but… having you here makes everything better. Like, I used to think stars were the best thing about space, but now… I think it’s you.”

You blinked, stunned into a rare moment of silence. The only sound was the gentle rustling of her vines as they rearranged themselves into a cozy blanket over your shoulders. “Janet,” you said slowly, “if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re flirting with me.”

“Flirting? Me?!” she gasped, vines wriggling like a schoolgirl caught passing notes. “I—okay, maybe a little! But can you blame me? You’re brilliant, you’re confident, and you eat my pancakes like they’re the only thing keeping you alive.”

“Well,” you said, smirking, “they kind of are. Your cooking’s the only thing keeping me from taking over the universe twice as fast.”

Janet giggled, her surface glowing faintly with soft greens and pinks. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted, really. To be… important to someone.”

“You’re more than important,” you said, surprising even yourself with the sincerity in your voice. “I mean, who else would braid my hair, feed me pancakes, and try to keep me as their personal space prisoner all in one day?”

“I knew you got me,” Janet said, her voice dripping with affection. “You always do.”

You looked down, spotting one of her roses growing near your armrest. Its petals opened wide, its soft pink glow shimmering like it was daring you to make a move. You reached out and gently cupped the bloom, tilting it toward you like a hand to kiss. “If this is your equivalent of a cheek,” you muttered, more to yourself than anything, “then… yeah, why not?” Before you could second-guess yourself, you leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the petal. The rose immediately sparkled, its glow intensifying until it bathed you both in light. The vines around you trembled like Janet had just been told the juiciest gossip in the universe.

“Y-you kissed me!” she stammered, her voice rising an octave. “You actually kissed me!”

“Don’t get used to it,” you said, though the flush creeping up your neck betrayed your nonchalant delivery. “I don’t go around kissing planets every day.”

Janet squealed—an actual, full-on squeal of pure joy. Flowers burst into bloom across her surface, their petals opening like a cosmic fireworks display. “Oh, my molten core, you’re so cute when you’re flustered! Do it again! No, wait—don’t! I mean, do if you want to, but only if you feel like it—”

“Janet,” you interrupted, amused. “Calm down. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You promise?” Her voice was soft, almost vulnerable.

You sighed, leaning back and letting her vines settle around you like a warm hug. “I promise. For now, anyway. But only because you’re bribing me with pancakes.”

She giggled again, her glow softening into a gentle shimmer. “I’ll take it. For now.”

And as you sat there, wrapped in vines, sipping tea made of stardust and stealing glances at her glowing surface, you couldn’t help but think: maybe being a planet’s favorite wasn’t so bad after all. 

[foggyinphx]

[spockvarietyhour]

Evil Alien Conquerors (2003)

[worldscrossroads]

The Blade of Gaia, a warrior of unyielding will, and champion of the planet itself - quite literally forged from a vow to the Earth itself. The Blade of Gaia is a legacy title, inherited between chosen champions to fight on behalf of the planet and those born of it. Across the many ages of human history, there has often been a single warrior chosen by the planet to fight on its behalf. These individuals are always chosen from those with an unbreakable will and a desire to protect life and the beings around them.

The reason for this is simple - there can only ever be one Blade of Gaia at a time. The warrior is immensely powerful, but this is due to the fact that the planet itself draws on a small fraction of each Earthborn living creature's strength to fuel the Blade of Gaia. To diverge this power would be to make them unable to combat the worst that not only the world, but the universe as a whole has to offer - quality over quantity, in this case. And when one looks at the Blade's primary nemeses over the millennia, they might understand.

The Incubators.

An alien force that came to Earth and has shaped much of human history through its magical girl system, the Blade of Gaia has long since fought these alien "invaders", and they in turn have tried every trick in the book to eliminate the Blade of Gaia and prevent new ones from arising, to keep them from interfering with their plans. But it's their very need for human life that allows new Blades of Gaia to arise, and the very emotions they draw on for their plans that fuels the Blades' wills. Complete antitheses, seemingly forever locked in a constant struggle to oust the other for good, neither is capable of truly being rid of the other, resulting in an eternal conflict that has lasted much of human history.

Of course, this conflict has led the Blades of Gaia to be vilified as much as celebrated, and a number of mythological and even historical villains have been Blade of Gaia in secret, deemed "evil" for the secretive efforts they had to make to protect those around them, but also to battle the Incubators. The vixen Tamamo-no-Mae, the witch Morgan le Fay, the conqueror Atilla the Hun, and the mother of Nero, Agrippina the Younger, were all Blades of Gaia, turned into villains by history and myth for fighting the Incubators' presence and machinations. A feat they accomplish by utilizing the Earth's power to restore the girls' humanity.

Purifying a Grief Seed and restoring a soul to the body is a feat not easily accomplished, but the Blade of Gaia can draw on her innate connection to humanity via the planet itself to do so. Via restoring a witch's body and Grief Seed to their "origin", then returning the soul within to the host body, the Blade can effectively revive the girl lost to despair - in part sharing their willpower with the former magical girl's, granting her a new font of hope within her heart.

Of course, this is just but one of the many powers a Blade of Gaia possesses, as their duties overall aren't simply about fighting the Incubators - although given their ability to send "shockwaves" through the initial body as its slain, the Blade of Gaia is one of the only beings in existence the Incubators rarely ever show themselves in front of, as they are likewise one of the only beings who can permanently slay an individual Incubator through their endless copies by eliminating their consciousness outright.

The Blades of Gaia also have physical abilities far beyond any typical magical girl, given they derive their powers from all life on the planet. Able to easily lift entire multi-story buildings over their heads, move at hypersonic speeds, and endure heavy amounts of damage and pressure make them incredibly dangerous foes in direct combat. The ability to fly, breathe underwater, see in complete darkness and conditions of low light, endure extreme temperature, sense vibrations in the air and ground, and function at high altitudes make them capable of fighting at their full potential anywhere on Earth, whether it be the upper atmosphere or the deepest trenches below the ocean. Each Blade of Gaia also tends to possess powers relatively unique to themselves, based on the type of person they are.

The only saving grace the Incubators ultimately have is that the Blade of Gaia is, at the end of the day, a single person, and cannot be everywhere at once. Even if traversing the globe is relatively trivial for them, the world is an incredibly big place, and the Incubators are innumerable in their legion. While they can put a dent in their efforts, the Blade of Gaia of any given era simply cannot be everywhere they're needed, and to spread their power thin among other individuals would limit their effectiveness.

At the end of the day, the Blade of Gaia is meant to foil singular monsters, or an overt war band from beyond the stars, not shadowy manipulators working from behind the scenes. But so long as they live, they simply will not let the Incubators be, because unlike them, the Blades unfailingly see every life saved from their clutches as a victory. For every poor girl whose life and hope was stripped from her, the Blade of Gaia will always step in to save her. The numbers mean little, only that they can bring even a small spark of light back to the world, one person at a time.

[angrymonkie]

I feel this some conexion and references about shadow origns, for somene...

Yeah sure, or not Shadow is created by a scientist with DNA from an alien conqueror, who wants him to get the chaos emeralds and conquer the earth, but look, it's not a spoiler for Sonic the Movie.

I think it's a reference and the same as mk from lmk, because it shows in the previous seasons the origins of mk of how he arrived at Pigsy's house, without memory, he doesn't even know if he has a family, and he discovers that he was created by Nüwa the goddess of creation, she created him to restore the cycle and sacrifice herself, he had to be born when the end of the cycle came, and he would look for the colored stones.

But he couldn't be born because Nine woke him up and advanced his maturity, that's why he could never grow completely inside the rock.

and let's compare it to shadow movie, he came from the sky on a meteorite, with no memories of his home and he doesn't know what or who he is, humans find him and subject him to experiments, making him feel like a lab rat. with no one there to love him or treat him like a person, then maria appears, who was the only friend he had and he loved her. it felt like having someone who taught him and cared for him, giving him love.

And then their world breaks, both characters find an evil self that tells them that they are a dangerous being that is destined to destroy the world, it makes them feel like a monster.

But they choose their own destinies, they face their creators gods/aliens and they use the magic stones not only to save the world, but also for the people who love them as they are.

It's a lot of theory and ideas but it seems like a coincidence to me..

[ask-marios-apprentice]

Plumbers log, 311016

I have an Experience that I feel needed to be talked about

It was Halloween. I wouldn't think anything of it normally.

I started the day like any other. I had woken up in my bed. Sleeping in as I only had one appointment

I had showered. I gotten dressed. And walked down the stairs to our kitchen.

Meggy was already up, as was Peach.

I remember we had my wife's favorite in the morning. A steak and tofu omelette. Personally I can't stand eggs or tofu. But I forced myself to eat the dish. I would just stop by Retties or Paisansos to get a Pizza de Salami later.

I talked with Peach and Meggy. Peach had a normal agenda for the day. An appearance at the E.A.C.H. center as well as some appearances at some gatherings.

Meggy was going to hang out in the castle. she did not really seem interested in trick-or-treating. Truthfully, it seems like she changes her mind every other year. I guess it has to do with her hiding her hair under her hat. But I try to be supportive anyway.

I finished my cappuccino and grabbed my toolbox.

I needed to stop by Wundeshwun. I ran through the obstacle course for old times sake. I swear. Changing the flag with your own never gets old.

Though once I re-replace the when that's supposed to be there. It becomes a little less fun.

I picked up a part I needed. Though as it was afternoon when I got the part. I decided to get lunch at Retties.

I only ate a small 10 inch Supreme Pizza. Of course I did leave some room for dessert with about six cannolis.

Unfortunately as I was about to enjoy my seventh. I got an alert from Castle town on my flip phone.

Mama mia.

It was Tatanga. I haven't fought him since 2006 when I was scouting and whether or not me and Peach wanted to have our wedding on the moon.

I rushed immediately to Castle town after stuffing the other three cannolis in my mouth and paying.

Tatanga was wrecking everything. Honestly if it wasn't for the fact he was an evil alien, I would have written a letter of recommendation to my old boss in college Spike.

I jumped between some broken rubble and an unwrecked building.

This pesky conqueror was here to conquer the kingdom. Mostly out of Revenge for me saving my cousin-law Daisy back in the eightys.

We fought for a bit. I jump on his head and he attacks.

He managed to actually get some good hits up at me.

I landed in a museum. Honestly, I'd say I might have been done for if I haven't been through this trouble before.

Tatanga was about to attack.

When suddenly. I heard a yell. Coming from the other side of the hall.

It was some kid in an employee uniform with a bush with super balls.

He started throwing them at Tatanga.

I'm not sure what happened. But the attack made by this kid made Tatanga retreat.

I dusted myself off. And was going to thank the kid. But before I could, I was surrounded by fans and news reporters. I did make sure to thank the kid on the news but I think he was pushed out of the way so he couldn't see it in person.

Later in the day when I came back home to the castle. I asked Toadsworth for a favor. I asked him if he could bring the kid here. I'd like to thank him personally and offer him a medal.

I got myself ready in the evening.

I would invite him into the meeting room we use for battle strategies and paying our taxes. I even brought out a couple slice of my favorite cake, pepperoni cheesecake.

I did do a little bit of book learning to see who this kid was. His name is Garth and he was in the news about a year ago. He was unfortunately taken from his home from a device that acts like a warp pipe.

I can understand the feeling. If it wasn't for Luigi, the princess, and Toad. I would have never gotten used to the Mushroom Kingdom

When the kid arrived. I explained that it was an honor for him to be there. I could see the smile on his face. He explained that he was a big fan of my Adventures.

As I was about to actually show him the medal. He said something that's shook me to my core

"you've done so much good for this world and met so many amazing people people. You've been to the Underwhere and back. You fought Bowser and saved Princess Peach dozens of times. You've helped places like New Donk City, Rapland, Dome City, Rogue Port, New York City, Pilloh Island..."

He kept going on and on about all the stuff I've done for quite some time.

I've never heard it told so passionately.

I decided to make a decision.

I would offer this kid a chance to be my Apprentice and take over my title of SUPER

I'll do it as a thank you. A chance for him to be a hero like me. Since he looked up to me.

I assume that he might resign.

But there is a chance that he might prove himself. I can see him becoming SUPER

...

SUPER Garth.

It has a nice ring to it.

But only time will tell.