#explains why I was cranky at school

[sweetnsour1]

Okay…fell asleep for a nap five hours ago…fuck. Will post 3 things tomorrow. Rolling back over to pass out some more.

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hi, I really like your blog and the fact that it seems that I can always find what I need when I want to read a specific type of fic. But I wanted to know if you know any Fics that are similar to "Pack Wars by miss_aphelion" I would appreciate if you could find something that showcase the pack actually talking things out than like keeping everything in that messes them up.

Let's see.

Pack Wars by miss_aphelion

(31/31 I 158,621 I Mature I Sterek)

Scott liked to call it the Great Pack Divide of 2012.

Derek liked to call Scott an idiot.

(Or the one where Derek kidnaps Stiles to teach Scott a lesson, and ends up learning a few things himself)

***

Stilinski's Home for Wayward Wolves by owlpostagain

(1/1 I 35,197 I Teen I Sterek)

“At least your puppies knock first,” Stiles snorts. “Here I thought their alpha raised them to be well-mannered.”

“There’s a sign,” Derek responds stiffly. 



Stiles, whose curiosity outweighs even his hardest of grudges, abandons his chilly façade of nonchalance in a heartbeat. He jumps right up and all but pushes Derek out of the way in his effort to get to the window, and sure enough when he leans outside there’s a laminated strip of cardstock duct taped to the vinyl siding: 



DON’T FORGET TO KNOCK Stiles gets cranky when we scare him

---

Or, in which Stiles Stilinski moves to Beacon Hills for his junior year of high school and accidentally adopts a pack of teenage werewolves.

There's Monsters at Home by calrissian18

(6/6 I 83,600 I Explicit I Sterek)

“How did you get past the wards?” Derek had put them up, with Peter’s grudging assistance, after the Alpha pack had made themselves at home a few times too many.

The guy pulled a face. “You mean the wards a five-year-old girl with the mental ability of a goldfish could deconstruct?” He blinked wide eyes at Derek. “Gee, I don’t know. It’s bound to go down as one of life’s great mysteries.”

Derek despised him.

I know that you love me, even when I lose my head by LunaCanisLupus_22

(13/13 I 135,585 I Explicit I Sterek)

“We’re not mates, Cora,” he insists. “I mean look at him-“

“Ouch,” the kid says, no longer pushing that shit eating grin.

“He’s- he’s,” Derek tries, at a loss of how to explain why this can’t be possible. Why it shouldn’t be possible.

Or the one where Derek gets attacked by hunters, ends up with amnesia and forgets Stiles is his mate

Adult Wolf by KouriArashi

(56/56 I 232,475 I Teen I Sheriff/Peter)

As if Sheriff Stilinski doesn't have enough to deal with, now he's been attacked by some enormous dog in the forest, and that's normal compared to what happens next...

Re-telling of seasons 1-3B with Sheriff Stilinski being bitten instead of Scott.

[insomniac4000]

Escape-A ChrisMD fic

"Who's stupid idea was this?" Chris grumbled as he walked along with his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. He then had eight pairs of eyes on him all furrowed.

"YOURS!!!" Arthur TV bellowed out. 

It started out innocently enough, the five of you sitting around in the living room as you often did, there might have been a couple of drinks consumed but nothing too major, you were mainly all sitting around and talking after failing to agree on something to watch. You had your legs draped over your boyfriend Chris's lap and was mostly just laughing at him and his friends being silly. 

"We don't do a lot, maybe we should go out do some adventure golf or something," Chris suggested, everyone moaned at the word golf. He had dragged everyone in that room to golf at some point and you all hated it. 

"Well I don't know paintball or an escape room or something!" He cried waving his arms around. You gently placed a hand on his arm to stop him from hitting you in the face accidentally. 

"Escape room could be fun," ArthurTV shrugged, he quite liked solving puzzles. 

And that was it, now here you all were three days later walking down the road at ten o clock in the morning on a Saturday, it was the only time they had available. Chris wasn't a morning person particularly he needed to have time to adjust before getting up for the day watching some Youtube or Tiktok with a cup of tea but he had woken up late this morning and didn't have time for his tea so was cranky. 

"I don't know why this is suddenly all my fault," Chris sulked, you rolled your eyes but grabbed his hand anyway and squeezed it causing him to smile at you. 

You got to the place bang on time, filled in the forms and listened to the actors spiel. The premise was of a manor house and a murder, however the detective investigating this had now gone missing. You entered the first room which looked to be a ransacked lounge, it was set in the nintety fifties and the décor reflected that. 

"What's our strategy here?" George asked looking round the room to see the two Arthur's already off trying to solve a puzzle on the table and Chris looking around gormlessly wishing he stopped for a cup of tea on the way. A collection of newspapers had caught your eye and you were rooting through them trying to find a pattern.

"We need a number!" Arthur Hill announced as him and his namesake looked around the room for any further clues.

"Hang on," you said with your finger up. "2783," you added with a smile, a slightly smug one if you did say so yourself. ArthurTV punched the numbers in and the three of you cheered when the puzzle opened revealing three keys.

"Where do they go?" Chris asked, taking some time to get into the game. 

"There under the TV," George pointed to the cabinet which had a key slot. The found the other two just as quickly.

"Huh that was easy," Chris mused as everyone piled into the next room when the door opened. The next part was a stable complete with horse puppets who neighed and made other horse sound effects.

"Well this is fucking weird," George commented as the rest of you looked around the room. 

"Horse girls are weird," Arthur Hill added and you nodded in response. 

"Why? What's wrong with animal lovers?" The other Arthur replied being a little bit offended as a lover of the animal kingdom. 

"Horse girls are a different breed. You will always come second to the horse," you explained. You had a friend in school who ended up in tens of thousands of pounds in debt due to a horse, you failed to understand it but each to their own. 

"Could this be something?" Chris had managed to switch on now, in part inspired by how quick everyone else managed to get out of the previous room and he did nothing to contribute. He was currently looking in a bag which was labelled apples. 

"Don't be stupid," Arthur TV scolded, Chris frowned and placed the bag down. 

"Fucking nerdy twat," Chris uttered under his breath. It was said in jest, like all of the banter the boys had inbetween them. 

Minutes passed and frustrations grew as it appeared you were getting nowhere. There was a game with horse reigns where you had to get them untangled and put the four sets of reigns from one side to the other so they weren't touching. The two Arthur's had decided to work on that as you took one look at it and noped straight out of there and Chris thought it was a bit too difficult and he wanted something he could solve so he didn't look like an idiot in front of you. While you and Chris scrambled throughout the rest of the room not having much luck, Chris growing ever frustrated by the second.

"For fucks sake," he moaned placing his head in his hands and he stomped his foot like a a child.

"YES!" Arthur TV shouted as they managed to solve the puzzle, a small hatch next to the ropes with a key inside. 

"Is there a door it opens?" Arthur Hill asked as he looked around. 

"Look on the wall for a clue," a voice rang out, it was the worker who was keeping an eye on the group. 

"We're so shit they need to help us," Chris muttered as he looked at the words on the wall behind him. "Red Rum, wasn't he a horse?"

"What's so special about him?" George asked also kicking himself at not being too helpful this time. 

"He won the national three times," you shrugged. 

"Then there must be three keys," ArthurTV surmised as everyone kept looking around for some more keys. Taking a punt Chris went into the bag of apples and pulled out a key straight away. 

"I knew it!!!" Chris shouted as he punched the air. You couldn't help but smile and gave his back a little rub in celebration, he looked so pleased with himself but you knew the gloating would come soon enough. 

"We would have done this room by now if I would have looked in here in the first place," Chris moaned. You were well used to his first character syndrome by now and you were very good at calming him down. Everyone else was also used to it and ignored the remark as they searched for the last key. When they finally got the final key and went through to the next room which was a library. Chris was still grumbling that no one was listening to him and everyone assumed he was thick because he liked football and it was the stereotype, it's one of the reasons he went on Mastermind.

In the library there was a map in the middle of the room, there multiple locations with lights on, ten in total and the rest of the room was filled with books. 

"Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," Chris said as he was reading the titles. As soon as he did that a light on the map came on and flashed green, it was the light which was in the states around where Vegas would be. 

"That must be it, we need to find the books which correspond to the map," ArthurTV summed up.

"There's also a letter A on the book," Chris added pointing to the post it note on the book. You then noticed the pen and pencil by the phone which was on a desk, the only other piece of furniture in the library. 

"There must be a password when we've found them all," you added as you started to look at the rest of the books before putting an arm around your boyfriend. "Look at you clever little thing," you smiled before giving him a peck on the cheek. He smiled wide and winked at you before turning his attention back to the shelves. 

"Come on love birds there will be plenty of time for that later!" George scolded as he found yet another book and said the title, The Little Paris Bookshop. 

They went through that room quite quickly before making it through to what was the final room unbeknownst to them. It was the kitchen and it looked like it had been ransacked. 

As time ticked on the group were growing ever frustrated at struggling to open the fridge, they had solved one puzzle already which told them that they needed to open the fridge as the key was in there. 

"What about ingredients or a recipe or something?" Chris asked as he was shuffling through the papers.

"I dunno," ArthurTV said as he banged his head against the fridge door. 

"Why do you all keep ignoring my ideas? I was right about the bloody bag and I smashed it with the books!" Chris shouted frustrated. 

"Because most of the time what comes out of your mouth is bollocks," George replied in jest. 

"There is too much testosterone in this room," you replied rolling you eyes. You could have gone to brunch with the girls but no, you had to join your boyfriend and his friends. "Babe, keep working on that, it's not like the rest of us have any other ideas."

Half an hour later you were all sitting in the pub, Chris with a smug smile on his face. 

"Ninety three seconds left, glad I found that cake recipe when I did," Chris gloated causing everyone else to roll their eyes. 

"Yes darling," you smiled letting him have his moment. 

[kairiscorner]

I am here to suggest the ultimate shy highschool Miguel concept:

Miguel trying to ask you, his not-so-secret crush to prom, with Gabriel's help of course 🧡 ~🍄

OH MY GOD, YES !!!

will you... — high school!miguel o'hara x gn!reader

only less than a week until prom, and miguel still hasn't built up the courage to hand his dream date the letter he had been working on for a long while now. this is probably the fifth letter he's written, and you can say he might be a bit of a control freak, but, he just wants to tell you exactly how he feels; he doesn't wanna beat around the bush or tell you in a wordy way something that can be said in three words–he wants to say seven words, but can't even handle the thought of speaking either one of them in one sentence to you without losing his composure and feeling weak in the knees. he's clutching the letter in his hands and sighs, he adjusts his glasses on his face again and practices going up to you as if you were the mirror right then and there, and tries to 'play it cool'. "would... you... go with me t-to..." miguel stuttered, and as thoughts of you and your beautiful self debilitated him; he bit his tongue and quit talking, and eventually, he had fumbled for the umpteenth time all over again. miguel clutched the letter in his hand and sighed, running his other hand through his curly dark locks, looking frustrated as ever. "miggy, are you being a dork about it all over this again?" asked his younger brother, gabriel, as the boy entered the room and raised an eyebrow at him.

miguel, in his flustered daze at the sudden arrival of his little brother, threw the letter for you in his drawer and shut it closed. "wh-what letter?" he blurted out hurriedly, making gabriel very suspicious of his older brother's actions. "...i didn't mention any letter, but okay." he said as he looked at miguel up and down and sighed, shaking his head. "ay, mi hermano, you can't ask them out like this." gabriel said in a disappointed tone, pointing at miguel's disheveled appearance, making him look down at himself and raise an eyebrow at his younger brother's comment. "not like you get any dates, either..." miguel murmured, making gabriel faked heartache and dramtically grabbed at his chest and cried out in fake pain. "at least i'm confirmed to be cuter than you, hermano..." the younger boy quipped as miguel rolled his eyes and looked back into the mirror, running his hand through his dark curls. miguel sighed as he took off his glasses and ran a comb through his hair.

"i don't even know why i bother, it's not like i'd be any choice of theirs; they just know me as... that one cranky kid that always gets the science tests perfectly, they don't even... know how i look at them." miguel muttered as gabriel walked over to miguel and got him some gel. "well, isn't you telling them how they'll be able to find out?" the younger boy asked as he styled his older brother's hair up with the gel. miguel shrugged. "...i mean, sure, but not like..." "not like what?" miguel sighed as gabriel opened up his brother's closet and whispered in spanish how 'crappy' miguel's fashion sense was, asking him if he had anything but graphic tees or plain white shirts. "it's not like they'll take it happily." "and why not, because you dress up like a shut-in? of course, nobody wants a nerd that wears three variants of the same shirt, i know i don't." "you know that's not what i mean, gabri." miguel said in a monotonous voice as he glared at his little brother, making the younger boy stick his tongue out at him.

gabriel chuckled and scraped together a decent-looking outfit for miguel to wear that didn't look tacky nor corny and was just the right color palette that suited him. "well, you don't know; you can solve literally every math problem out there and discover all kinds of scientific phenomena, but you'll never be able to predict love, hermano. si está destinado a suceder, así será. si no, entonces no lo será," gabriel explained as he smiled up at his brother and patted his shoulders comfortingly, extending his support to the hopelessly in love yet doubtful little idiot that miguel was at that moment. "they'll come around eventually, whatever they feel for you now is out of our control. but if you ask me... they'd definitely love you, i'm sure of it, even if you have no problem with mismatched socks with sandals, they'd like you still. but i probably wouldn't." gabri joked at the end of his comforting words, with miguel chuckling and jokingly punching his younger brother's arm, making the younger boy giggle and jokingly punch him back. "drama king. but anyway... thanks, gabri. i needed that." he thanked his younger brother with a head pat and shoulder pat, with gabri extending his arms to wrap his brother in a hug, whispering in his ear how they seriously have to turn to miguel's closet for the next charity drive because of how many variations of the same shirt he has.

with a lump in his throat that he couldn't swallow, miguel hastily shuffled over to you by your locker, clutching the letter he made for you for the sixth time in his hands that began to sweat. he was thinking of too many things all at once, which troubled him deeply, but his younger brother was at the corner—cheering him on and reassuring him that he's got this. miguel takes in a deep breath and taps you by the shoulder. you turn to face him, and miguel's stupefied for a moment at how beautiful you looked right then and there. "oh, hey mig, what's u—" "wouldyouliketogowithmetotheprom?"

...

"uh, hah, what was that? sorry, you spoke too fast..." you told him with a shy grin, feeling a bit flustered at the only words you picked up from his hurried breath of a question. miguel apologized and fidgeted with the letter's ends for a bit. he stammered and blanked out for a few moments, but finally, he was able to ask you clearly while handing the letter, "would you... like to go with me... to the prom?" he asked you all softly, staring at your hand that was going to take the letter from his own; your fingers brushing over his, which made him whimper a little. you smiled and chuckled, gently holding on to his hand over the letter for a lingering while. "i thought you'd never ask, of course i do, mig."

"...really?" he asked you in a hushed voice, his face too flustered to not smile. you chuckled again and pushed his glasses back up on his face and nodded with a smile. "really." "yes!" exclaimed a high-pitched voice from the corner, it was gabriel rejoicing as he paused the recording on his camera, exclaiming happily in spanish how the nerd brother he has finally has a date for the prom! miguel groaned as you laughed, still holding his hand, you took the letter with your other hand and pulled away from him. "so... i'll be seeing you next week?" you asked him awkwardly as miguel stammered and nodded. "ah, y-yeah, i'll... i'll see you." "better wear one of your graphic tees then, dork." you teased him as you kissed his cheek and sent him to overdrive, short-circuiting his brain and keeping him frozen in place in front of the lockers as you bid him goodbye and headed off to class.

"and here is the nerd of the century, getting kissed by his date on the cheek?! wait 'till i tell mamá that he's hitting first base—" gabriel exclaimed into the camera, but miguel was quick and dashed on his heels, running after his little brother to stop him from utter embarrassment. "gabri, quit filming, you little gremlin!" the older boy exclaimed as gabriel screamed and ran off with the camera in his hand, calling miguel names and teasing him about him and his date... how you two were just the perfect little nerds together.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @hearts4gabri @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok @fictarian @yuridopted0 @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @smokeywhalee @capnshtfce

[ihavethedreamies]

Love or Hate (1) | Jongho

Choi Jongho - ATEEZ

Word Count: ~3.2k

Pairing: Jongho x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Fluff, Pining, Angst? Reader gets cranky, Jealousy

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, almost a slight moment with Wooyoung

Summary: You have developed a strong crush on your best friend over the two years you have known him. One day, all your emotions just boil over.

Part 1; part 2 will be smut u3u

-> Series Hub <-

Part 2: Sweet or Spicy

Part 3: Sweet? or Spicy?

Edit: I did change the banner images so this isn't new or changed otherwise...

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other site. Happy reading!

You had been friends with Jongho for a few years. You met both of your Freshman year and now the end of Junior year was approaching. It was at some kind of Freshman event that all the clubs and school organizations were at to try and recruit new members. Walking around the rec center gym where a bunch of booths were set up, you were looking at some brochures on an unmanned table when you quite literally ran into him. When you turned to walk elsewhere, you smacked into someone's chest and you yelped, pulling back quickly, your hand over your mouth. Since you were pretty short, even though he wasn’t super tall for a guy, he was bigger than you. Also, not just from literally faceplanting into him, you could tell he was strong. His pants were extremely tight and so was the long-sleeve button up he had on.

"Woah!" He steadied you by placing his hands on your shoulders and even his hands felt ridiculously strong.

"I'm so sorry!" You apologized again, not normally very clumsy. At first you wondered why he had been so close to you, but the place was quickly growing packed and there wasn’t too much room to move around. The event was supposed to be outside with more room, but it was pouring so they had to set up inside. Due to the amount of people, if you backed up too far you would be sitting on the table, so you were forced to stay close to him. What drew your attention most was that he was in a dress shirt and pants with a vest. It was like…hot as balls out even with the rain. Why was he so covered up?

Someone excused themselves behind him and he was forced even closer to move out of the way, and his hand had still not moved from your shoulder.

"A-are you wanting to look at this?" You pointed behind you, shuffling to the side so he could look at the brochures. There was a map of campus laid out on the table as well, both things explaining all of the different places and things you could do. He smiled and moved up to where you had been and so you grabbed a pamphlet and went to move on, but he called out to you.

"Do you work in the weight room?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah. Why?"

"I saw you there yesterday. Is there a time where it’s less busy?" He had picked up a flyer and walked over to you and once again someone brushed by him, and you found him even closer to you again.

"Um, the early morning. We open at like six, there aren’t too many people then." Most people did not like hearing that. You went to bed and woke up early so you didn’t mind working then. It actually paid more than in the evening because most people don’t want to work that early.

"Great, thanks…"

"(Y/N)." you told him, holding out your hand for him to shake and he returned it.

"Jongho."

After that he would come by the weight room when you were working and since it was slow that was also when you worked out. You weren’t great with cardio since you had asthma as a kid and so you just lifted. It made you laugh when he came in because he always wore long pants and long sleeves, whereas you would be in a sports bra and capris leggings. Eventually you began hanging out outside of the weight room and you joined his group of friends. They were…a lot. Most of the time, Jongho and you would sit off to the side and watch as Seonghwa tried to calm the chaos. One night you were hit really hard by the fact that you had gotten a crush on the youngest of the group. It was Sophomore year, and you were all hanging out in a small grassy courtyard behind the Liberal Arts building. It was nearing the end of the school year, and it was early spring, only a sweatshirt was needed even as the moon rose. Some of the boys were running around like children while you sat on a picnic blanket with Jongho, Hongjoong and Seonghwa. You were putting together some small Lego sets with the eldest when you heard a shrill cry of your name.

"(Y/N) help me!" Wooyoung screamed and you sighed but didn’t turn to look at him.

"Whatever it is, you deserve it!" You called back and he screamed again. Finally, you turned to see what was happening and he was being held captive by San as Mingi and Yunho bit his arm. Not having any idea how it had come to this you deadpanned at the scene and sighed. Getting up, you shot Hongjoong a look and he looked up from where he was writing notes of a new song, his guitar on his lap.

"Aren’t you dad? Seonghwa's mom? When did I turn into mom?"

"When Jongho became dad." Hongjoong told you and glared at him. He wasn’t wrong. Jongho was the scariest and if Wooyoung or San were being annoying he would just pick them up or squeeze their hand real hard. He could even throw a Mingi over his shoulder if need be.

"Why am I mom?" You looked quickly at Jongho who was leaning against the tree, his eyes closed, earbuds in. Seonghwa snorted and you glared at him then.

"Please." He scoffed and you flinched.

"What is that supposed to mean?" You questioned and the eldest shot Hongjoong a look himself and they had a silent conversation.

"Whatever-"

"(Y/N)!!!!!" Wooyoung screamed again and you knew you would have to do something before you all got in trouble. Groaning, you jogged over to them, prying San's arms off of Wooyoung while flicking Yunho and Mingi hard on the forehead. They yelped dramatically and fell back, holding their heads. San lunged to grab Wooyoung again and the younger one hid behind you, using you as a shield.

"Uh, guys-" Yeosang, who was standing nearby trying to watch, but not get involved, called out.

"Jung Wooyoung!" you scolded as he squatted behind you, holding your legs, pressing his cheek to your butt. His hand was wrapped around your thigh and your face felt warm having him hold you like that.

"Wooyoung-" Yeosang was ignored again and suddenly the other three looked at something behind you in fear.

"What?" You tried to turn and look too but there was a person attached to you.

"Oh my gosh, let go!" When you reached to pry his arms off of you, he just held on tighter, his other hand landing on your inner thigh.

"Ah!" he screamed out of nowhere and he was off of you. You stumbled at the force of what yanked him off and teetered before getting your balance.

"What the-" You finally turned and saw Jongho had pinned Wooyoung down on the ground and was holding his arms behind his back. He wasn’t doing it hard enough to hurt him, but he was restricting him from moving.

"Ow, ow, ow!" He yiped and seeing the display of strength, and the fact that he was doing it to rescue you, made your heart thud against your rib cage. That must have been what Yeosang was trying to warn of and why the other three got startled. The fabric of Jongho's sweatshirt spread tightly over his back as he wrangled the older boy, his jeans hugging his butt and thighs perfectly, and it hit you. Throwing your hand over your mouth, everything that everyone had been seeing but you suddenly sprung to mind. Whenever you needed help with anything, Jongho was there. If you ever were upset or even excited, you went to Jongho first. He bought you your favorite snacks when you met up and you always sat next to him. When you were sick, he would go to your dorm room and take care of you. If it was cold, you would let him huddle up to you for warmth. Also, you were made aware of the way you would ogle him all the time. Not only was he handsome and had the voice of an angel, he was thick in the best kind of way and everything he wore was always tight. Even though he barely even showed his forearms, to you he was extremely attractive in every way.

"I think she figured it out." Seonghwa chuckled quietly to Hongjoong.

"About time."

For almost a whole year you had been crushing on Jongho, but you hadn’t the courage to do anything about it. You were scared that if he didn’t like you back in that way, it would ruin your friendship. So, you just held it inside and your crush grew and grew. Afraid to admit it, even in your own thoughts, you were falling in love with him even though you weren’t even dating. There had definitely been times when he would flirt with you, and you would give it back. But who knew if it meant anything past just being playful. One night when you were all at your apartment, eating, drinking, and playing video games, you had a bit too much to drink. You tended to get emotional and cry easily when you were drunk, and you could feel tears pricking your eyes with no prompting. Not wanting the boys to see you like that and make fun of you, you shuffled back into your room, mumbling about going to the bathroom. Instead, you just sat on your bed, sniffling.

"(Y/N), are you okay?" Wooyoung knocked on the door, peaking in and pushing it the rest of the way open.

"M'fine." you mumbled, and he fully entered, kneeling in front of you.

"What's wrong, why are you crying?" His hands cupped your cheeks, wiping the tears away.

"Dunno."

"You don’t know?"

"Mhmh." He cooed at your cute tipsy state and his hand moved from your cheek to your jaw. He couldn’t help himself anymore, you were way too cute. He leaned forward, his nose bumping yours and you sobered up quick. You quickly held your hand up, placing it between you two and he blinked in surprise.

"S-sorry, Wooyoung, you, uh-"

"I'm not Jongho?" The older boy sighed, and you gaped.

"I might be a dumbass, but I'm not an idiot, (Y/N)."

"M'sorry." you muttered, and he shook his head with a small smile.

"Not surprised. Though, I think you should tell him. I don’t like you coming in here to cry about it." He stood up and held his hand out to help you get up from where you were sitting on your bed. Giving him a shy smile, you let him help you up and you both went back out to the crazies.

"Where'd Jongho go?" you asked, and Yunho waved toward the door to the balcony. The door was propped open with a wedge, and you went to join him out there. Better than later, especially with some liquid courage in your system. For some reason though, when you reached for the handle, you halted. Fear gripped you and with a sigh, you took a step back and went back to sit on the couch. Wooyoung shot you a look from where he sat on the floor, and you shook your head. When Mingi asked if you wanted another drink you denied and sat watching them play games. Maybe another time…

Looking at the time on your phone, you huffed from where you stood. You were waiting outside of Jongho's classroom, ready to be done for the day. He was going back to your apartment with you because you needed help putting together your new desk. While you could manage physically, you were really bad at reading directions, and he offered to help after you started to complain about it. There were still some kids leaving the classroom since they had to gather the materials they needed for some presentation project. When what seemed like the last kid had left, he still hadn’t come out. The teacher had even left already, so you got up from the bench and went far enough into the room that you could look around the corner at the end of the entryway. He was still in there, two girls sitting at the table with him. Must have been in his group. For some reason, seeing them there so close to him made you really mad. Maybe it was because they were making you wait longer for him, but it was more how close they were sitting to him. It was not necessary, and they laughed at something he said a little too hard. He was funny, sure, but that was too much to make sense. When the brunette to his left rested her hand on his arm you saw red. Looking at the drink you had gotten him, you sneered and stormed into the room, clenching the cup tight. You had waited ten minutes between standing in line and getting the beverage for him, then you had to wait while he was flirting around! They didn’t notice you until you sidled up to the table and slammed the drink in front of him, the ice rattling in the liquid.

"I'm going home." you snapped and turned aggressively, storming back out. You knew you were getting a little too mad. He was your best friend, sure, but you two weren’t even going out, but you just got so upset. Why didn’t you have the courage to flirt with him like that? Why didn’t you have the courage to confess to him?

"(Y/N)!" he shouted behind you as you stomped down the hall toward the entrance. You heard one of the girls call something out as well, but you couldn’t hear it as you shoved hard against the push handle of the door, throwing it open. The cool late spring air smelled like rain, the wet pavement evidence there was a short downfall while you were waiting for him.

"(Y/N)!" he called you again, much closer now. Damn your tiny legs.

"Wait!" Jongho was right behind you, and you just kept going.

"Hey!" He sounded mad, his hand grabbing your wrist so he could haul you to turn around and face him. He was taken aback by your red cheeks and eyes and the fire in your gaze. His grip wasn’t tight but even being stronger than the average college girl, there was no point in even trying to fight him. His face hardened and he pulled you closer to him, his nose almost touching yours.

"Why are you so mad?" he snapped, and tears flowed down your cheeks like when a pot boiled over. The burner heating your anger shut off and you just started to sob.

"H-hey." His anger dissipated immediately as well, and he used his hold on your wrist to pull you into him, hugging you. You balled your fists up against chest, trying to push him off to no avail. You weren’t fighting that hard anyway.

"Let go." You cried pitifully and he knew you didn’t mean it.

"What's wrong?" He pulled back just enough so he could look at your blotchy face. Avoiding looking at his face, one of his hands came softly to your chin so he could move your head, making you look at him.

"I hate you." You mumbled and he almost didn’t catch it, but your tone was insincere.

"Uh-huh." He scoffed. You said that a lot when you were pouty. You hated things quite easily when you didn’t mean it.

"I hate your stupid handsome face. I hate your stupid pretty voice. I hate your stupid deliciously tight pants. I hate your stupid gorgeous hands-" You were rambling, and he stared at you in shock. Sure, you were saying you hated him in multiple aspects, but they were more or less compliments. They ultimately were also confessions, each one.

"(Y/N), (Y/N), hey, slow down." You had told him you hated how sweet he was to you, how sexy his strength was, that he smelled good. In his head he turned each 'hate'  to 'love', and he translated your rant. I love that you are so hot when you’re scary. I love that you're so effortlessly powerful. I love that you look good in literally anything. I love that you know me so well. I love, hate, love, hate…When you kept going, he chuckled, releasing you from his hold, but moving both hands to cup your jaw. He cut your rant off with his lips on yours, swallowing your next words. You squeaked in shock as the kiss turned from a sweet 'shut up' into something extremely heated. You sighed out a moan, your eyes slipping closed, and he slipped his tongue in your mouth. One of Jongho's hands moved to the back of your head, tilting it, and pulling you closer. The other found your waist and you pressed closer to him, his hard body unrelenting against your much softer one. Your head swam and it's like his breath was fanning the flame building in your belly. When he finally, reluctantly, pulled away, you were both breathing hard.

"You still need help building that desk?" Both his hands were on your waist, his thumbs rubbed your stomach over your sweatshirt. Yeah, then you can bend me over it…

"Y-yeah." The reality of the situation hit you, and he pulled back, linking his hand with yours.

"Come on." As you two walked off campus and toward your place, you let him lead you, lost in your head. Your fingers were constantly brushing over your lips, not sure if you were more shocked by the kiss or the things you said leading up to it.

"So, I'm stupidly handsome?" He started and you groaned.

"Oh, god."

"My voice is pretty?"

"J-Jongho-"

"My pants are deliciously tight?"

"Please stop-"

"Gorgeous hands?"

"…"

"I'm sweet? Sexy? Smell good?"

"Uh…"

"Hot when I'm scary? Powerful? Look good in literally anything? What was that last one?"

"…that you know me so well…" He stopped right in front of your building, and turned to look at you, your hand still in his.

"Obviously not as well as I should."

"What?"

"If I knew you so well, I should have realized you liked me back."

"Well, I tried- wait, like you back?"

"Yes, silly girl." He smirked and held up your linked hands in front of your face.

"I love that you so readily hold my hand. I love how cute you are, especially when you're mad. I love hearing you laugh. I love how big my sweatshirts look on you. I love how you can split an apple in half like how I taught you. I love that you always spoil me by cooking for me. I love watching your cute little ass in your little shorts when you're at home. I love that you use the perfume that matches my cologne. I love how passionate you get about things you like. I love how you can problem solve anything. I love that you are so small but so strong. I love that you're always by my side." He listed off and you were crying again. You sniffed happily and he pulled you into another hug, you dug your fingers into the leather of his jacket.

"I hate you." You mumbled into his chest, and he laughed.

"I love you too."

-> Series Hub <-

Part 2: Sweet or Spicy

Master-Master List

ATEEZ Master List

[yuyu1024]

Those eyes

Pairings: Yeosang × y/n

Genre/tags: Friends, first time

Warning: 🔞🔞 fluff, smut, dry humping, mention of masturbation & porn, cursing, no sex [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 1.9k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note: repost. Check pinned post for more stories✨️

****

Yeosang have missed a lot of your classes since he got into an accident. He got discharged from the hospital and now at home to recover. And as his best friend, you go and visit him everyday to give him the notes and assignments that your teachers asked you to give so he could at least catch up or be in tune with the whole class.

They don't want him to get behind since he is one of the top students in the whole school, not just your class.

"Oh! Y/n, happy friday." Yeosang's mom greets you as she opens the front door.

"Hello again, Mrs. Kang."

"Your just in time." She says as you enter their place. "I just finished helping him cleaning his wounds and make your afternoon snacks..."

"Thank you, Mrs. Kang..."

"Welcome..." she then shows you the tray of sandwiches and fruits for you and Yeosang. "I'll leave you two guys alone for a minute okay? I need to go and have a quick run to the groceries to buy more stocks for our pantry. And maybe go by the pharmacies too..." she then checks her phone for the list of things she needs to buy. "We ran out of bandages and the cream to put onto his scratches..."

"Oh, don't worry about us. I will look after him. We'll get busy studying anyways..."

"Thank you, Y/n...." she pats you on the shoulder, "also a heads up... he's a little cranky... I don't know what got into him... but I hope you make him feel better..."

"I'll do my best. I'll yank his ear if he gets on my nerves." You joke

"Maybe that's what he needs." Mrs. Kang laughs. "Text me if you need anything else from the groceries okay?"

You watch Yeosang's mother grab her bag, her keys and then check her phone one last time before she goes out of the door.

"Have a safe trip!" You say before closing the door.

After she left, you start to do your thing. Your sling bag is still hung across your body whilst you start to carry the tray of the food Mrs. Kang prepared for you and Yeosang.

"Knock, knock." You lightly kick the door with your feet and immidiately see Yeosang carefully climbing onto his bed to avoid his right injured arm

"You're early today." He says

"There is a school fair today so..." you place the tray on top of the beside his bed.

"Ah, the fair. How's our class' booth?"

You frown. "Why worry about that? You know our booth is always the highlight of the fair. Wedding booth is always hyped by everyone." Then you feed him a piece of muscat.

"I guess so..." he says as he chews. "Do we have a lot of assignment today?" He slighty sigh

"Hmm... not really." You jump onto the bed beside him and begin to open your bag and look for the notes.

"Y/n... your skirt!" He takes one of his pillows and place it on your lap. "You could've gone home and changed before coming here."

"Sorry!" You gape at him

"You should be careful when your wearing a skirt!" He looks irritated

"I know... but I'm with you so it's fine!" You throw the pillow back to the other side. "Why are you suddenly yelling at me?"

He sighs. "Nothing..." he massages his temples with his free hand which is covered with scratches. Which is a lot better than the right one which is in a cast and in a sling support.

"You are very snappy... what's wrong with you?"

He looks away from you and just sighed again. "I said nothing..."

"C'mon Yeosang... we've known each other for a long time now... I know something is bothering you. You're not the type to be like this unless something frustrates you."

"You will not understand it."

"Why not? Explain it to me then... is it the homeworks? The notes I've made for you? Or because you're not healing quicker than you want to?"

He went quiet for a bit before he finally decides to tell you the reason. "The latter..."

"The doctor said... you are doing better right? So just give it time."

"I know, I know... but it's not that..." he suddenly looks shy

"What is it then?"

"Promise me that you will not laugh at me."

You blink multiple times, confused. "Laugh? Ahm... okay... I won't. What is it? Get to the point."

He covers his face with his hand, closing his eyes even as he tells you. "I've been a little frustrated because... I can't ma$turbate."

"Huh?" You look confused and doubting if you really heart him say that he's annoyed that he can't jerk himself.

He looks at you, annoyed. "I'm right handed, y/n! I can't use my right hand." He points at his injured arm

"Ooh."

He lays his back on the pile of pillows behind him. "I've been horny and shit and I can't do anything about it." He puts his forearm over his face. "Laugh all you want now... I get it if you find me silly."

But you didn't laugh. You get his frustration. He is a guy after all. You are just stunned as you've never heard him talk about this stuff before.

"I'm not laughing..." you say to him, pulling his arm off his face. "Do you want me to help you?"

His eyes widens at your question. "What?"

"Help you... to release whatever you want to release..."

"Don't make jokes like that."

"Who said I'm joking?" You spat

"We are friends. Best of friends." Yeosang says

"So?"

"What do you mean 'so?' Are you thinking straight right now?" He gets up.

"I am..." you answer with a straight face. "I know you watch p0rn and shit... coz I do too... and pleasuring yourself helps to... get it out... you know... especially both of us are virgins. We do what we can do...you know..."

Now, he is the stunned one. He didn't know you are this open minded by this things. He didn't know you have your own needs like his.

"So... do you want my help or not? We can just continue doing homework if you like..."

Yeosang closes his eyes again, trying to think everything through. Because he cares about you and don't want this to cause any issue afterwards.

"If you don't want to... it's fine." You say as you start to get off the bed but then his hand suddenly stops you mid-way.

"What would you do? To... help me...?"

You smile at how cute his face is, innocently asking you.

"I don't know a lot too... since I've never tried the things I watched in real life... but..."

You slowly climb back up again. But this time not just on the bed but also on top of Yeosang. You sit on his lap, right above his thighs where you could feel his bulge slowly getting hard as he felt your covered core on it.

"We can't start... like this..." you begin to slowly move your hips creating friction between the two of you while making direct eye contact with him. "I might get wet from this..." you quietly say "I might stain your jogging pants."

"I don't care." His mouth is slightly open, breathing is slow but heavy and his eyes are fixated on you.

"Does this feel good?"

"Yes..."

"Do you want something else?"

Yeosang eyes lower his gaze.

"Do you want to touch my boobs?" You ask, smiling

He is breathing louder now as you pick up the pace of you, dry humping him. "Can I?"

"I would enjoy if you do..." you start to unbutton your white blouse uniform. "I have a this thing about... my boobs..." you explain. "I feel like... I like them being touched.. gives me pleasure..."

Slowly revealing you covered boobs and telling him you like him to touch it, made him even harder. You feel his bulge pulsate upon reveal.

He cups both of your boobs, squeezing them with amazement. "They're so pretty." He mumbles

"Ugh..." you moan as you feel your core get wet just from humping him over his pants. "Sorry..." you say as you check his soaked pants.

"Holy shit..." he hisses as he sees it. "Fuck."

"Sorry..." you repeat

"No... it's okay.... it's actually... so sexy..." Yeosang looks at you again. "Can you now... touch my.... my..."

Laying down beside him, blouse still open, "do you want me to give you a handjob?"

He nods with excitement.

"Okay... but let's cover ourselves with your blanket and play a movie on your laptop or something in your TV.."

"Why?"

"Silly you!" You tap your finger on the tip of his nose. "You're mother might get back and check up on us... just to be safe."

"Ah! I see. Yes."

And that's what you guys did. You turned on his TV and played some scary movie so his mom will not find it weird that you to are so close to each other under the blanket. His mom knows you are a bit of a scardy cat.

"You're so smart for thinking about this..." Yeosang says as you both get comfy laying down on his bed.

You put a pillow above you too to hug but also to hide whatever you are doing underneath "you're not the only smart person in our friendship you know..."

Your hand then pushes his jogger pants down a little, freeing the thick length he's been hiding in there.

"Holy fuck!" He hisses as he felt your hand grab him. "Holy fuck y/n" his mouth opens and releases a quiet moan as you begin to move your hands up and down. "This fucking feels... good."

"Your so thick..." you whisper to him. "I wonder if you would fit in me..."

"Fucking hell, Y/n!" He breathes, "don't say shit like that... coz I would.." he pauses as his breathing spikes up. He's getting in his zone. You are really giving him such pleasure.

"You would what?" You ask him

He opens his eyes again and looks at you straight into your eyes. "Coz I would not mind finding out what it feels to be in you...." he leans forward to you to give you a kiss. A long, sweet and lustful kiss.

This kiss is both your first kiss.

"I'm down..." you answer. "I don't mind getting lost into you..."

"Do you want to stay for the night here?" Yeosang asks, "I can ask my mother to call your parents."

"You are eager..." you smirk, "Not tonight...." you pick up your rythm again, making him throw his head back onto the pillow. "We can wait until you're fully recovered... for now... we can just...."

Yeosang starts to moan a little louder. He's so close to his peak.

"F-fuck! Ahhh...."

You watch him go mad under your hands. "Look at me... I want to see those eyes of yours...."

He is taking deep breathes, mouth open and looks at you. His eyes are sparkling. He is on the edge.

"Fuck!" He grunts and hurriedly grabs the tissues he had ready to catch his warm release. "Fucking hell, y/n..." he leans in for a kiss again which you are willing to accept after seeing him so happy and super satisfied. He's cheeks are even got pinkish "Promise me... once I fully recovered... we get to do this again... and..."

"I promise."

[mammalsofaction]

16. Lazily (because I thought it said lizardly for a moment)

From the prompt list here

Perryshmirtz kissing....lazily

Bring Me A Dream

Rating: G

Relationship: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus

Add tags: Established relationship, domesticity, mute Perry, human Perry, Vanessa (mentioned), old men being gross and in love

A/N: Works best if you imagine Perry's just finished working an intense offshore mission and just chillaxing at Heinz's place.

---

"-Could've sworn I left it by the fireplace, no don't turn the lights on, sweetie, Perry's on the couch and he's had a long day."

"Oh, sure. Hey, Perry."

Perry grunts in acknowledgement.

"Now where is-is it this one, pumpkin?"

"Th-dad, no, mom bought me this new one last week, it's got orange decals and I snapped the holster off."

"What does an MP3 player need a holster for? Doesn't it play music?"

"It's not actually-I meant the little clip in the back I use to pin it to my belt when I'm out, I snapped it off at school last Tuesday which is why I can't pin in it on me-,"

"Which explains why you lost it, ok, I think I get the picture. Have you tried your room?"

"Yes, dad, that's the first place I checked. Are you sure we can't boot Norm up to let him scan this place?"

"I told you, pumpkin, he's been on that Minecraft server behind my back and skipping on enough of his charging time that he's getting cranky, so he's on time out. Also he's way too loud, he's going to wake Perry up. Have you checked the balcony by my lab? You like pacing there."

"I wasn't up there last week!"

Perry growls in warning, eyes kept shut. The voices shush themselves apologetically.

"I wasn't up there last week." Vanessa repeats herself, much more quietly.

"Well, you can try it anyway if we don't find it in here. Check my vinyl rack, I might have put it away and forgot about it."

As Vanessa patters further away, a more familiar presence looms over Perry's prone, half asleep figure. He does not acknowledge it, hoping it will go away.

Heinz sighs, both fond and exasperated in equal measure. "Alright, get up."

Perry doesn't move.

"This is going to go by a lot quicker if you co-operate. I need to search the cushions. "

Perry only shuts his eyes tighter, and moves his hat so that it fully covers his face, keeping out even the faint orange light of the fire.

Heinz sighs again, and soon enough Perry feels his tucking his hands between Perry's back and the cushions, trying to wedge his hands in the crannies despite the sluggish obstacle above them.

It tickles a little, and Perry wiggles.

Heinz huffs. "Oh for Gott's sake, will you-,"

Quick as flash, Perry wraps his arm around Heinz's unsuspecting figure and tugs him fully down. Heinz yelps, tucking his arms in as Perry twists them around, pinning the scientist down against the back of the sofa, but before he could start yelling, Perry began to pepper raspberries all across Heinz's scrunched up face. The scientist began to laugh.

"I found it! It was on the key plate next to the-oh gross. Dad...,"

Perry releases his captive hold on his lover, and Heinz stumbles to the floor, disheveled and winded with laughter. "Phew, sorry, Pumpkin, just got distracted."

"Perry, I thought you were supposed to be sleeping."

I am. The agent answers innocently, and to drive the message home he leans his head back into the cushion of the armrest and snores theatrically. Vanessa throws a pillow at him.

"Come on, sweetie, I'll spare your mother the trouble and drive you home. Perry'll hold down the fort."

Perry's shut his eyes again, properly settling back down, though he briefly crosses his heart.

"Ugh, you guys are so gross. I'm gonna wait in the car."

Perry hears her footsteps walking away, followed by a slamming door, before he allows his previously suppressed grin overtake his face. Heinz huffs again, clearly bemused.

"She used to think you were so cool."

Perry raises his eyebrows, then signs with some measure of offense. I am cool.

Heinz cackled. "Oh, sure. She doesn't think it anymore."

Perry hums, already falling back asleep. His signs are sluggish as he points out, You think I'm cool.

Heinz makes some sort of incredibly affectionate noise. "You are cool."

The edge of Perry's smile quirks up, a smug indication of see? As he feels Heinz leaning down however, it melts into besotted curl, reciprocating the sweet press of lips like a hot cup of cocoa on a cold December afternoon.

"Get some sleep." Heinz says, right against his lips. "I'll be right back."

Perry trusts that he will be. He's fast asleep even before Heinz locks the door behind him.

[lilapplesheadcannons]

The proposal

"How do you get married?" Wei Ying asked as he scooped porridge to his mouth.

Jiang Fengmian choked on his scalding hot coffee and started to cough. Yanli, bless her, pushed a napkin towards him. Yu ZiYuan frowned at Wei Ying from where she was feeding baby Jiang Cheng.

"You don't. You don't get married for another twenty years. Not under my roof."

"But Lan Zhan said we should get married so I can go live with him."

Jiang Fengmian dabbed the tears off his eyes.

"Don't you think you should wait for your mama and papa to come back before you get married? Marriage is a big decision, and you are, if you don't mind me saying so, kinda small."

"I am this many big." Wei Ying showed three fingers.

"No, add one more finger." Yu ZiYuan showed him. "You can add another one from next week after your birthday."

After much confusion between his thumb and pinky, Wei Wuxian held up the correct number of fingers.

"This many, auntie?"

"Yes. But you need to be able to show all your fingers and all your toes too before you can get married."

"Why?"

"That's the law."

"What's the law?"

Before Yu ZiYuan put a foot into the trap, Jiang Fengmian intervened. They'd spend the entire day at the breakfast table if they got into a circle of questions and answers with Wei Ying. Even two adults combined were not enough to answer all the whats and whys of an almost five years old.

"Hurry up and finish your porridge, A-Ying. You don't want to be late for school, do you?"

Wei Ying considered his options. On one hand, as soon as A-Cheng was finished with his bottle, he could be enticed into an exciting game of catching Wei Ying's fingers. On the other hand, Lan Zhan had pretty-pleased him to come to school early so they could talk some more. He could play with A-Cheng later. Wei Ying made up his mind and started to shovel porridge into his mouth. The rest of the breakfast was uneventful. Yu ZiYuan burped A-Cheng as she kissed her husband goodbye. Jiang Fengmian herded the children out of the door before they could go back for another goodbye kiss for the baby.

In the evening, once Wei Ying was done telling his parents all about his new friend and they were done patiently explaining to him how come it was still morning where they were even though it was late evening where A-Ying was, Yu ZiYuan took the phone.

"Your son," she looked specifically at Cangse Sanren, "is planning to get married."

As expected, Cangse Sanren burst into a fit of laughter. Her husband was less amused.

"I hope he's not bothering any poor girl in his new school."

"It's a boy. And from what I could gather, the proposal came from him."

Cangse Sanren wiped her eyes.

"Ah, puppy love. Remember how Fengmian was so besotted with you? So cute."

Jiang Fengmian felt warmth rising in his cheeks. There were some obvious disadvantages with having childhood friends who were witnesses to his early childhood transgressions.

"We were in middle school!" He hissed. "And I didn't ask her to marry me until uni."

Yu ZiYuan patted her husband's cheek to comfort his delicate sensibilities. Missy Jiang still had the same thin face as always. She tried to divert the conversation.

"But good for the kid, though. I was worried A-Ying would have a hard time making friends."

Cangse Sanren turned her head to look at her husband.

"Remind me to buy something for the kid before we return. After all, it's our son-in-law."

She broke into a fresh bout of cackles. Wei ChangZe smiled helplessly before bidding goodbye.

Jiang Fengmian found Wei Ying and Jiang Yanli taking turns to blow raspberries on a giggling Jiang Cheng's soft tummy. Soon, A-Cheng managed to grasp a pudgy fistful of Yanli's hair, and Fengmian had to extricate Yanli from a protesting baby.

"Come on baobao, bedtime." Yu ZiYuan picked him up. Jiang Cheng had a half an hour window after his dinner when if he fell asleep, he would sleep through the night until morning. A minute past that he'd get overstimulated and cranky. Yu ZiYuan carried him to his bedroom. Wei Ying followed her with his eyes.

Jiang Fengmian cleared his throat.

"Do you miss your mama too, A-Ying? She'll be back soon."

"No, no. I am not a baby." Wei Ying made a face. "Lan Zhan says I am going to be the mama for his rabbits. I don't know how to, though. I don't think I can carry a rabbit like the way auntie carries A-Cheng. Or give them baths," He confided.

Jiang Fengmian struggled to find answers.

"That's why you need to wait until you are a grown-up," Yanli chirped in unexpectedly. "You can carry two rabbits when you are old."

Jiang Fengmian smiled gratefully at his daughter.

"Twooo?" Obviously, the amazing feat of carrying two rabbits simultaneously blew Wei Ying's mind away.

"Even three, if you start working out and become strong." Jiang Yanli said sagely.

Wei Ying remained awestruck at the idea of carrying so many rabbits in his arms throughout bathtime. Jiang Fengmian switched the overhead light off and sat down on a chair between Wei Ying and Jiang Yanli's beds with the storybook in his hand, ready to pick up from where he had left it off. Wei Ying squirmed under his blanket as five-year-olds often did before bedtime. Jiang Yanli kept yawning but forced herself to stay awake for the ending.

The next day, when Yu ZiYuan picked up Wei Ying from school, he fished out a folded piece of paper from his pocket excitedly.

"Sit still, A-Ying. I am trying to buckle you in."

But A-Ying wasn't paying attention.

"Look at this! Lan Zhan drew this for me!"

Yu ZiYuan clicked the buckle into place and squinted at the paper. It was a red and black rounded blob.

"Er, that's a lovely- , um, ladybug?"

"Nooo," Wei Ying giggled at her ignorance. "That's me."

"Mnnn, an artist, eh? A bohemian? A debonair rogue? Is that how he lured my poor, innocent darling?" Cangse Sanren pretended to faint over videocall that evening.

"I doubt a five years old is indulging in cigars and absinthe wearing a dressing gown in a studio, my love."

"What an old-fashioned idea you have about artists, ChangZe!" A postgraduate in art history, Yu ZiYuan couldn't let the comment slide. But Wei ChangZe only smiled.

Jiang Fengmian interrupted.

"We are taking the kids to the beach tomorrow."

"Enjoy. I wish we could take some time off on weekends as well." Cangse Sanren sighed.

"That's not fair. You deserve some time off. You're working too hard."

"Well, it's a critical moment in the research. We are almost there. Anyway, we are travelling to attend Xingchen and Song Lan's wedding in California next month. That is something to look forward to."

The next day, Yu ZiYuan was woken up by soft hands patting her arm before the crack of dawn. She grabbed the squirming, squealing mass and spoke in a stage whisper,

"Fengmian, I caught a mouse!"

The squirming mass in her embrace giggled.

"I am not a mouse. I am Wei Ying."

"No, you are a mouse. Wei Ying is still sleeping in his bed because he's a good boy."

Wei Ying continued giggling. Jiang Fengmian spoke in a sleepy voice,

"Just feed the mouse to the cat, my lady, then go back to sleep."

"No, no. Don't feed me to a cat!"

Yu ZiYuan hid her smile in Wei Ying's curls. They didn't have any cats. The only pet in the house was a shy betafish in a small aquarium.

Wei Ying calmed down.

"When are we going to the beach? Lan Zhan will be waiting for me."

"Let's sleep a bit more, darling, ok? It's still dark. And we can't wake up A-Cheng too early or he'll cry."

Wei Ying nodded and then closed his eyes. Soon enough, his eyes were closed and his breathing became regular.

They all overslept that morning. As a result, they were quite late when they finally reached their destination.

Jiang Fengmian started to carry everything to the beach. But he almost tripped when an excited Wei Ying got in his way.

"Come on, A-Ying. Let's go buy ice cream."

"Yay! I want a chocolate one."

"Strawberry, please." Jiang Yanli started to dig at the sand with her toy spade. Jiang Fengmian spread the beach towel and put a bottle of water on each corner to stop it from blowing away in the wind. A woman slightly older than him walked towards them, carrying a picnic basket in one hand and holding a child's hand in the other. The child was about Wei Ying's age, cute with chubby cheeks in a blue t-shirt. They both had light honey golden eyes.

"Perfect," Jiang Fengmian thought to himself. A potential friend for A-Ying. He smiled up to the woman.

"Nice day, isn't it? I was worried it might get cloudy."

Jiang Cheng, who had drifted off in his sling, shifted and let out a small cry of protest. The other child moved closer to his mother.

"A shy one! Pity!" Jiang Fengmian thought to himself.

The woman put a reassuring arm around her son's shoulder.

"This is Lan Zhan."

Bingo! Jiang Fengmian observed his nephew's potential suitor with a new interest. It was hard to believe that the shy child hiding his face against his mother's midsection was actually forward enough to propose to Wei Ying in recess.

"Hello, A-Zhan. This is A-Li, and A-Cheng." Jiang Fengmian pointed at his children. "My wife has taken our nephew for ice-cream."

However, it seemed Lan Zhan had already spotted said nephew because with a sharp cry, he sprinted off like an arrow to where Wei Ying and Yu ZiYuan were walking back carrying icecreams.

Wei Ying must have noticed him too because he dropped his icecream and ran towards him. Yu ZiYuan made a split second decision to follow them.

She caught them by their arms and dragged both of them towards Jiang Fengmian and Lan Zhan's mother.

"A-Zhan, why did you run off like that?" Mrs Lan admonished.

"A-Ying, that's dangerous. Don't run..." Jiang Fengmian started as well.

"Look what you kids make me do! The icecreams..." Yu ZiYuan lamented.

But everyone came to a halt when Lan Zhan grabbed Wei Ying's hand and spoke with pride and admiration,

"This is XianXian."

Jiang Fengmian caught Yu ZiYuan's eye and nodded. She understood.

"Oh my, you must be A-Ying's A-Zhan. He has been talking about you for weeks now."

Lan Zhan nodded solemnly. It was absurdly adorable to see a child his age act with so much gravity.

Yu ZiYuan turned to his mom.

"We don't know how to thank your little boy. You see, poor A-Ying had to move in with us because his parents are on a research trip. We were so worried he'd have a bad time getting along with his new classmates. But, it seems like A-Zhan here was a perfect angel."

Mrs Lan asked a pertinent question at this point.

"Why does he call him XianXian?"

Jiang Fengmian extended his arm to ruffle through Wei Ying's curls.

"His courtesy name is Wei Wuxian. A-Ying is more of a nickname."

Wei Ying made a noise of dissatisfaction and jerked his head away. But he didn't let go of Lan Zhan's hand. Soon, the boys were in their own world.

Jiang Yanli was the first to remember.

"Mom, the icecreams?"

Yu ZiYuan sighed.

"Those brats! I'll go get some more. Would you like some as well?" She asked Mrs Lan.

Mrs Lan shook her head,

"Thanks, but my brother-in-law is bringing along my eldest child and his friends. Maybe I should wait."

"Oh, don't worry. I'll grab a few extra." Yu ZiYuan started walking towards the icecream van. But she stopped midway. Lan Zhan was staring at the adults defiantly,

"XianXian and I are getting married today."

"Oh no, you aren't! You two are collectively not even ten yet. No one is getting married until they are at least twenty-one." Yu ZiYuan put her hands on her hips.

Little Lan Zhan looked at his mom imploringly for support. But Mrs Lan looked like she was too shocked to speak.

Jiang Fengmian spoke in a soothing tone,

"Why don't we talk about it later? I mean, you still have to meet A-Ying's mama and papa and ask them for permission."

Lan Zhan slowly nodded while maintaining eye contact with Jiang Fengmian. What a curious little boy! Soon, a man leading three other children joined them. One of the kids looked like an older and smiley-er version of Lan Zhan. Jiang Fengmian knew the other two. They belonged to the Nie family. HuaiSang was at Wei Ying's age. The moment Lan Zhan spotted him, he put himself in front of Wei Ying.

"Saozi, what happened?" The frowning man asked.

"We met A-Zhan's XianXian."

"Oh, hello." The boy who was most definitely Lan Zhan's older brother waved. "I am Lan Xichen."

Wei Ying waved back. There was another round of introductions.

"So you are really real? Uncle kept saying you are just Lan Zhan's imagination." Lan Xichen sounded curious.

"Xichen!" Both his mom and his uncle exclaimed. Both the uncle and the youngest nephew were exhibiting matching pairs of reddened ears.

Jiang Fengmian laughed.

"No, he's real alright. Very much so. You can touch him to be sure if you want."

"NOOO!" Lan Zhan was standing in front of Wei Ying with his arms outstretched in a protective stance. " Xiongzhang, don't touch my Wei Ying."

"Okay, didi." Lan Xichen spoke in a soothing voice.

Jiang Fengmian sighed. This will certainly be an interesting summer.

[power-chords]

Often I feel very angry. It is hard to explain this even to my progressive Jewish parents – my Ashkenazi father, and my convert mother who frankly is more observant than I am – sometimes easier with fellow third generation millennials, depending on their milieu. My goyische husband, believe it or not, grasps it quite well because he grew up in Scarsdale. For the 18 years that we lived on East 70th our mezuzah was on the wrong side of the door. We never kept kosher. And yet I went to Hebrew school at Park Avenue Synagogue followed by Or Zarua which are both conservative congregations, a step up from reform and a step down from orthodox. We observed Shabbos, the high holidays; for a while I had a basic comprehension of the loshn-koydesh.

After I was bat mitzvahed I had no desire to see the inside of a temple again. This remained the case for many many years. You know what I learned about besides Torah? (Torah study, the ritual of Saturday morning services, was actually the good part.) Israel. At length. A country I felt no connection to whatsoever, that I had no desire to ever visit, that alienated me from my own Jewish identity as a diaspora New Yorker growing up in (what was, then, much more so!) a diverse neighborhood with kids from every ethnic and religious background imaginable.

You know what I learned NOTHING about? Yiddishkeyt. German expressionist cinema. Postwar American Jewish literature. Philosophy and psychoanalysis and dialectics and dialogics. Art, literature, theater, folklore. You would think that institutions theoretically devoted to the preservation of Jewish life in America would take a greater restorative interest in what the Nazis attempted to wipe from the historical record. You would be wrong.

The irony doesn’t end there. According to Dad my grandfather would not speak a word of German in the house – understandable after they've gassed your entire family to death – and he was resentful, for a little while, that on account of this he did not grow up bilingual. Why Martin refrained from speaking Yiddish around his American children had nothing to do with a rejection of Jewishness per se and everything to do with the guarantying of a more prosperous future. Metallurgy and manual labor sentenced him to a hard life and an early death. Despite chronic exhaustion and physical pain, he would bring my young father to public lectures at Yale on anything and everything related to the space program. He supported and cultivated his two sons’ every personal and intellectual interest. He ferried my grandmother to and from her performances along the Borscht Belt circuit, which back then was still a thriving scene. He was a state-raised orphan who lost everything and nevertheless managed to give everything. When she grew too old and infirm to do so herself any longer, he even cared for the cranky old bitch of an aunt who turned him away when he first washed up alone as a teenager on a totally foreign shore. I have tears in my eyes just typing this.

It is my parents and grandparents whose memory I hold sacred, the culture they swallowed or sacrificed in the hope of a new beginning – not for themselves, but for their loved ones. That a certain continuity could be transmitted and traced despite all efforts to either disguise or remake it, that there is an inextinguishable spark of recognition in language and expression and sensibility, is miraculous. It defies the nation state. And it will outlive the nation state.

[deanscroissant]

yearning for your love (pat murray x gender!neutral reader)

requested by: @lizardaddams

a/n: i’m literally so sorry that this took me since FEBRUARY to finish?? but honestly thank you for understanding why it took so long. anywho, i hope whoever reads this enjoys it!

requests are closed

warnings: cussing, fluff

Studying abroad was one of the best experiences of your life. You were majoring in Language Studies in Barcelona to become a Translator & Interpreter. You have a passion for traveling, so you figured going that route was your best choice. But your boyfriend (Mr. 'Uptight' Pat Murray) was concerned about you going abroad. You two had been dating for a year, and when you decided to study abroad for the summer, Pat was devastated. He was sick to his stomach when you told him. He was furious at first, but when you explained to him how important this was for you, he changed his heart.

The day you left was emotional--especially for your family, friends, and Pat. Maintaining a distance relationship for three months while balancing school was hard for you. But somehow, you two were still going strong. It made your relationship more robust than ever.

It was now August, and classes ended in two days. You had just finished your last exam for the semester and couldn't wait to jump back on the plane to see your loved ones. Your friends and family knew you were returning today, but Pat was out of the loop. He knew you weren't coming back until the end of the month. You begged everyone not to tell him anything because you wanted to surprise him at the game. Pat talked about this game for the past couple of weeks and wants you here today to hear your voice in the crowd cheering him and his team on. The guys were also disappointed that you couldn't make it to be their cheerleader. Your support always gave him the most incredible luck (as he would say), but he or the team weren't doing so hot without you here. He texted you that a few minutes after you got off the plane. He tried to be discreet because the guys didn't know you were dating. It wasn't like you two were hiding it from them. You just felt there was no need to unless someone asked you if you were in a relationship. With Pat, he doesn't let anyone know his business unless he's cool with them. He'll tell the guys or whenever you decide to say it to them.

While waiting for your reply, Pat was daydreaming on his phone when Vinnie popped up behind his shoulder, startling the redhead. "The fuck, Vinnie?!"

"Who are you texting there, bud?" He asked before reaching to grab his phone but failed when Pat snatched it away before he could. "Piss off, Vin." He sneered, rolling his eyes as he put his phone back in his sports bag.

"Now you know I can't do that, Pat." Vinnie pouted jokingly, sitting down next to him. "Are you cheating on me?"

Pat tried to ignore Vinnie by focusing on the game, but when he glanced back at him, he cracked a smile. Vinnie hollered excitedly at the action, glad he could still make his friend smile at his shenanigans. As Vinnie walked away to annoy someone else, Pat turned his attention back to the bleachers to find you, only to feel another hit of sadness--forgetting that you were on the other side of the world. He was getting ready to grab his phone again when Ty returned to the dugout. "Murray, you're up!"

It felt like you would never make it to his game, which was pissing you off as time passed. You were waiting for your taxi to show up. Your parents had called one for you an hour ago, but you gave them hell once they showed up late. You weren't usually this rude and cranky, but only having one meal and 2 hours of sleep made you this way. Plane rides made you extremely nervous, especially how you were going to surprise Pat. But that plan was ruined when you just knew there wouldn't be any time left to do so.

You wanted to fight the cab driver once he got to the field. However, it was apparent that the game had ended, and the D-Backs had won. You threw your faire on the front seat and grabbed your things before hastily leaving the car. Searching the crowd for Pat, you instantly spotted him. He was so happy that it made you smile and forget about the hell you went through the past few hours. Unfortunately, you didn't realize Pat's dad was standing beside you to greet you. You kind of just blocked him out, and without thinking, you hopped over the fence and booked it toward him. "PAT!" you shouted.

He was hugging Zapata as you were getting closer. His voice was astronomically loud, and you could hear his conversation, "I'm sorry I threw that so hard! I could have really hurt you!" but he stopped talking when he saw you approaching. He immediately shoved Zapata off him and ran to you, "Y/N!"

Once you two got close, you leaped onto him, wrapping your legs around his waist. Pat wrapped his arms around your waist, buried his face into your neck, and held you tight to him, caressing your head, back, and anywhere his hands could touch you. "Long time no see, honey." He said softly into your ear. You promised you were going to melt even faster in the blazing heat. They both had waited for this moment for so long and hoped that you wouldn't be separated like this again.

"I missed you so much, baby," you said once you pulled away to look at what you would call a beautiful face. Instead, you grabbed it between your hands and smashed your lips into his.

Palacco and Tree just so happened to turn around when they saw you two being intimate, which shocked the hell out of them. "Oh my..." Palacco gasped and looked at Tree, who had the same reaction. "Pat and Y/n are dating?!" Tree exclaimed.

Vinnie jumped and hooted before turning to Ty with his hand out, "Pay up, loser!"

Dells' eyebrows furrowed while watching you two. "How in the hell did we miss that?"

"I don't know," Ty said through gritted teeth as he handed Vinnie his last few bucks from his pocket. "But I'm going to murder them both!"

The guys agreed with Ty and marched over to you and Pat. You two were already laughing since you were the only one who could see them and told Pat what they were saying (because you're an expert at reading lips). You're going to have a ball listening to them harassing you both with a bunch of questions.

[nehswritesstuffs]

A Bad Walk and An Even Worse Time

Sometimes I wonder why in the hell I write something and this is one of those times, lol

5176 words; shoutout to the dude who I saw regular golfing on the way home once in full Luffy cosplay (and shoutout to the club for letting him in lol); I’m overdue for a full-on sports AU but take this instead; apologies in advance at golf of all things but you know how it is; your mileage may vary at some of the relationships I’ve thrown in here but I also vary on them so no worries; related to the Adventures with the Denizens of 1000 Sunny Rd. series, which you don't need to necessarily read to understand this one (for reference, the other fics are here [FFN], here [FFN], and here [FFN] as well) just know it's a modern Midwestern-ish AU where LawNa is an established thing and the Sunny is a sus af party house

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

For what it was worth, Zoro did not usually get terribly upset. A little cranky? Of course. That was almost expected when most of his sleep came from naps and the fact his adoptive pains-in-the-ass were always on his case about shit. “Zozo, you need to bathe more” and “Zoro, you need to consider a career instead of a job” and “why are you no longer cute, Zozo” filled the time he was with his family, which explained why he was at 1000 Sunny Rd. most days. The rest of the people lurking around the Sunny knew that if he chose to suffer through an extended period of Nami’s nagging with the rest of them, it was bound to be a doozy at home he was avoiding between his creepy vampire adoptive dad and the shrill, high-maintenance banshee that he was supposed to refer to as his sister.

Except this time, what he was avoiding had been tasked to him.

“Ah, fuck,” he cussed as he checked his phone. Zoro threw it across the living room and into a far couch, which was not normal for him. He sulked over towards the kitchen island and slumped down on a chair, hiding in his hoodie.

“What the fuck’s up with you, mossbrains?” Sanji frowned. He didn’t like Zoro being there for too long, especially since he was going on his fourth day of no showering, for the love of food safety…

“Mihawk wants me to put together a couple foursomes and he keeps bugging me about it,” Zoro grunted. Usopp and Franky both exchanged cautious looks from either side of the island, food stuffed in their mouths—Mihawk wanted what…?!

“You… uh… gonna elaborate on that, bro?” Franky wondered cautiously. Zoro was silent on the matter, only looking up when Sanji put a protein shake in front of him.

“It’s golf, right?” the blond asked. Zoro nodded silently and waited for Sanji to place a silicone straw in the shake before taking it and drinking while sulking some more. Usopp laughed nervously, almost relieved.

“Why on earth would Mihawk want you to get a bunch of people together to play golf?” he wondered. “Doesn’t golf involve, like, you know, being outside? I thought that was the exact opposite of his thing.”

“It’s his main form of being outside,” Zoro complained, “and there’s a charity circle-jerk and he promised to bring people.”

“That would involve him having friends,” Sanji noted, “which is something he lacks while his son has in spades.”

“Well, I’m glad it’s just golf, but you’re gonna have to count me out,” Franky said. “Golf is a no-go for me—I’ve been banned from courses in the area for being too super of a guy.”

“You’ve been banned from golf courses?” Usopp wrinkled his nose in thought. “Wait… which ones?”

Franky simply grinned as he took a sip of his pop. Okay. Fine. Keep your secrets.

“Does Mihawk know what he’s asking for though?” Sanji asked. “I mean… it’s us we’re talking about.”

“What are you talking about, Sanji-kun?” The guys all looked to find that Nami and Robin had both walked into the kitchen-living room area, a freshly-rescued-from-med-school Chopper right behind them.

“Oh, nothing to worry about my dears,” Sanji crooned as he set snacks down for the newcomers. “Marimo here is just complaining about his old man making him do shit for once.”

“If it’s golf, then you can count on me,” Usopp bragged. “Why, I was winning pro-am tournaments when I was just a little kid! Had to drop it because they kept barring me from competing, but I’m sure they will have forgotten the ban by now!” Chopper’s eyes glinted in admiration as he sucked down his milk.

“Golf…?” Nami raised her eyebrow critically. “What possessed the brooding vampire-goth man to get into golf of all things?”

“High SPFs, umbrellas, and business bullshit that apparently only happens on the course,” Zoro grumbled. He finished off his protein shake and handed the glass back to Sanji as he sat upright. “I don’t know anyone who fucking golfs! How am I going to get seven people who golf just to please his prissy ass?!”

“Well, you already got Usopp,” Franky noted, “and Robin’s not been banned like me.”

“This is true—I worked a few odd jobs growing up, and one of them was as a caddy—it helped get me a scholarship for college.”

“A golf scholarship?”

“No,” Robin replied, her smile unknowable. Usopp shuddered—he had to ask, didn’t he?

“I’ll do it if Robin’s doing it,” Nami agreed. It was then that Sanji came out from behind the counter in a flurry of emotion, taking the redhead’s hand and kissing the back of it.

“If Nami-swan and Robin-chan are participating, then I will too~!” he crooned. “We can be in a group together!”

“He just wants to see them in short skirts, doesn’t he?” Usopp mused aloud. Zoro nodded in agreement, which got both of them lumps on the head courtesy of the chef. The three became so involved in fighting that they didn’t even notice that someone else walked into the conversation, interest immediately piqued.

“Shishishishi—I’m in!”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was a few days later and most of the Straw Hats were at a putt-putt adventure golf course after-hours, the guy who ran the thing owing Luffy a favor or five. How that was the case, no one wanted to know, but they were going to take advantage of it anyhow. Usopp stood at a chalkboard near the entrance; usually the board was filled with upcoming events and birthday wishes for parties coming through, but this time it was filled with equations and graphs that he drew up on the spot from the golfing theory book he had open in his hand.

“If we’re going to win this thing, it’s going to involve a lot of finesse and concentrating on how our bodies move,” he said to a… less than receptive audience. While Robin seemed interested enough, Zoro and Sanji were about to fight (again), Nami seemed bored, and Luffy and Brook were too distracted by the moths beginning to flap about the lights.

“You just asked a bunch of people who don’t math to do math,” Nami pointed out. Usopp knew she was right—the two of them did math all the time, while it seemed like a foreign concept to most of the others. “You’re at least following, right, Robin?”

“My areas of expertise involve the humanities, mainly history, sociology, and anthropology, so I’m following as closely as I can,” Robin admitted. A chill ran down Nami and Usopp’s spines—if they lost Robin, they were doomed. “We’re mainly here to work on our putting, which is something that trips up even the most skilled of professionals, as the amount of force and aim required needs to be precise in order to sink the ball.”

Usopp let out a breath of relief—thank fuck someone was taking this seriously.

“I’m precise,” Zoro claimed. “I’m so fucking precise I can wipe the floor with this asshole.”

“Wipe the floor?!” Sanji scoffed. “Do you even know how to golf?!”

“Yeah! You hit the ball and get it in the hole! You’re not the only one who suffered through rich kid bullshit, Swirls!”

“Oh, don’t even go there!”

“Or what?! You’ll try to throw your daddy issues around?! Like I care!”

“Ladies, please,” Usopp deadpanned. “We all know you both know how to play golf. This meeting is to make sure that we all practice our putting, short game, and all the more scientific parts of the game in order to prevent a case of the yips. The only one of us who doesn’t know what any of this is…” He looked off to the side, with the others following his line of vision.

That’s right. Luffy.

“Hey everyone, look at this neat bug I found!” Luffy grinned. He went over towards the rest of his friends with his hands cupped together; Sanji and Nami both hid behind Zoro in anticipation, while Robin and Brook simply chuckled.

“That’s very nice, Luffy,” Usopp frowned, “but what are you going to do about the golf tournament we’re helping Zoro not ruin? You need to be paying attention so you know the rules.”

“Oh, those; they’re boring.” Usopp hit his own face with his palm out of frustration. “It sounds like it’s all made up anyhow.”

“If you don’t even care about the rules, then why are you participating in the first place?!” Sanji asked from the safety of behind Zoro’s shoulder. Luffy simply turned towards them, bug still in-hands and making Sanji and Nami shiver.

“I thought it would be fun,” he beamed. “It’s a bunch of stuffy people who care about rules, so what better fun than doing it our way instead?”

“Luffy has a point,” Brook mentioned. “You wouldn’t believe the amount of rules that have been relaxed since I was your age. You can say the game was getting a little… moribund.”

“Quit the crap and let’s get on with the lessons!” Nami snapped, refusing to come out from behind Zoro’s other shoulder. “Let the bug go!”

“…but Naaaaamiiiii…”

“Luffy, she’s right, you’re going to need to concentrate for this one,” Usopp agreed. “We’re not doing this because we want to flout the rules, but because if Zoro doesn’t come up with seven people to join him, then Mihawk is going to be extra insufferable.”

“Yeah… that wouldn’t be very fun for Zoro, would it?” Luffy decided. He then stopped and counted everyone there: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven… “Wait, seven people total or seven more people?”

“We’re working on one more, now just focus,” Usopp said, tapping the chalkboard with his fingers. Between Chopper having school and Jinbe not knowing if he could get the time off work and Franky being banned from the sport of golf in perpetuity (how the fuck??? Why the fuck??? Wait, scratch that; he didn’t want to know), Usopp wasn’t sure whether or not one of them was going to need to call in a favor aside from the one currently in the works. “The Usopp School of Golf and Putting will make a golfer of you yet!”

How was that easily one of his biggest lies to-date? No one really knew.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was taking everything in Usopp’s power to not scream at the top of his lungs in frustration. Although Nami and Robin were both paying attention and subsequently began sinking many a putt, it wasn’t as though everyone else was taking his lessons as seriously. Sanji and Zoro kept fighting, Luffy kept getting distracted, and Brook was enabling in a bad way.

“Yohoho, good one, Luffy!” Brook cheered, watching as Luffy’s ball bounced around their surroundings. It eventually plopped itself onto the carpet of fake grass, rolling gently until it nestled itself in the cup at the end of the seventeenth hole.

Unfortunately, they were supposed to be on the tenth.

“Why do you keep doing that…?” Usopp groaned. “You’re supposed to aim for that hole,” he gestured with his putter, “not any of the others. You can’t just pick random holes to tee off into on a full-sized course!”

“That’s no fun,” Luffy pouted. “You said he wants to go home! So I let him go to the home he wants!”

“No,” Usopp said while trying to not grind his teeth, “the ball’s home is whichever hole you’re on. Stop keep trying to get it in the pirate ship!”

“…but I like the pirate ship!”

“I know you like the pirate ship, but you can’t always try to sink the putt at the pirate ship. That’s not how the game works. There’s not even a pirate ship at the regular golf course.”

“Well, that’s stupid,” Luffy pouted. “What’s the fun in golf if there aren’t even any pirate ships?”

“Wandering around, getting fresh air, testing your skills in both long and short game…”

“Meh; sounds like they wanted to make going on a walk worse.” Usopp opened his mouth to counter that, but stopped when he heard Nami and Robin both stifle a snicker. How in the hell was he this under-appreciated? “Can I just pretend it’s just the pirate ship for now? I dunno how much boring golfing I’m gonna be doing anyhow.”

Forget screaming: Usopp was ready to start sobbing.

“No, because you need to be better at more than just the pirate ship!” Usopp snapped, his voice cracking. “It’s more than just the pirate ship, you can’t use three clubs at once, there’s no kicking allowed, and we’re not allowed to use the course as a venue for any sort of musical performance while golfing as a means of distraction! Do I make myself clear?!”

A chorus of grumbling came from his friends.

“Alright! Now let’s get back to putting!”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was finally—finally—the day of the charity golf outing. The weather was cooperating at Goa Hills Golf Course and Country Club, a sprawling thirty-six-hole behemoth, which was filled to the gills with wealthy golf-nuts and those who happened to be roped into their antics via work or circumstance. Zoro was sulking off in a corner of the clubhouse before everything was opened, alongside Luffy, Sanji, and Usopp. Brook was there as well, but was off keeping an eye out for Nami, Robin, and whomever they were bringing along as the final piece to their puzzle.

“This is so fucking stupid,” Zoro groused. “Mihawk just wants to torture me.”

“Torture us,” Usopp hissed. He and Sanji were attempting to keep Luffy from attacking the snack table that had been set up on the other side of the room.

“As long as I get to play with Nami and Robin, this will all be worth it,” Sanji said. “Seeing them in those skirts will allow me to die happy~!”

“What skirts?”

“Of course a repressed mess like you wouldn’t understand: playing golf means a dress code, right?”

Usopp frowned, unimpressed with the assessment. “Yeah. Why else were we able to get Luffy in a collared shirt?”

“Well, ladies…” Sanji’s face contorted as he focused in on his mental fantasy. “Ladies have to wear short skirts while on the course! It’s the rules!”

“You need to get laid,” both Zoro and Usopp said simultaneously. Sanji scowled and let go of Luffy, which allowed the individual in question to break free and begin assaulting the breakfast bar.

“Jerk!” Usopp hissed. “We’re here to help Zoro, not help him get into trouble!”

“At least it won’t be eating Mihawk out of house and home,” Sanji shrugged. Usopp took a deep breath to steady himself—if all his work was going to be for nothing…

“Guys! Guy! Guys!” The trio looked out into the crowd and saw Brook coming their way in an absolute panic. He reached them and seemed to be almost in tears. “I’ve got some bad news!”

“What’s the matter?” Usopp asked.

“Don’t tell me that the eighth didn’t show up,” Zoro scowled.

“Even worse!” Brook shuddered as he prepared to levy the news. “It’s Nami and Robin!”

“Are they alright?!” Sanji asked, instantly becoming defensive. “If someone dared to touch a hair on their heads, I’ll…!”

“Oh, it’s nothing like that!” Brook insisted. “It’s just…!”

“What in the hell are you doing?!” Nami’s voice could barely be heard over the din of the clubhouse as she pushed her way through the other participants. She and Robin soon reached their friends, only for Sanji to gape in horror.

Capris. Cut to just above the calf. Not skirts. Pants.

Nami and Robin were in pants.

This was not going to be worth it.

“What in the hell is wrong with you, Brook?” Nami demanded. “Why’d you take off and abandon us?!”

“I got you here, didn’t I?!” Brook replied, affronted. Nami turned towards the others and flicked on her billion-watt smile.

“There you are, Sanji-kun,” she beamed. “I was hoping you’d be able to get my rental clubs from the pro shop. There’s a reservation already for them.”

“Why certainly, Nami-swan~!” Sanji replied, mood turning on a dime. He went off into the crowd with a flourish, completely ignoring the fact that he went right by a flustered Law as the latter was fighting his way through the crowd in an effort to get to the Straw Hats.

“Oh good, you weren’t eaten alive by the country club’s colony of rabid groundhogs,” Robin smirked. Law wanted to give her at least one middle finger, but was already too exhausted for before eight in the morning.

“All of you owe me, big time,” he grumbled, “especially you, Roronoa-ya. I could be literally anywhere but here.”

“You and me both,” the green-haired man fired back. “Gonna hang this over Mihawk’s head for long as I can.”

“That won’t work and we all know it,” Nami reminded him. They all silently agreed on that front—for some reason all of the adoptive pains-in-the-asses were collectively very, very weird and mostly unflappable. It was just that by some unfortunate turn of events that Zoro specifically landed where he was and now it was everyone’s duty to suffer through it.

A crash could be heard and a distant voice began threatening someone whose name sounded incredibly like Luffy. It was better to let that lie where it was; nothing good came from interfering with Luffy and food.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Even though Zoro knew how to play golf, it was definitely not his favorite thing in the world. It wasn’t his most-hated thing, but definitely not by much. He felt constrained, it looked like the park space was being wasted, and he couldn’t even drive through the swans that were terrorizing the third hole even though they were just honking assholes with wings.

“Stupid cook—you can’t smoke here,” he growled. The pair were watching as Law was getting ready to tee off for them, Luffy having already vanished into some bushes like a cryptid in a polo shirt, and now Sanji was indulging in his most effective vice.

“It’s either this or I murder everyone,” the blond sniped back. Fuck, Luffy was taking a long time to resurface. “Hey, I know you know how I got the geezer, but how’d you get your adoptive asshat?”

“Parents knew him somehow; I dunno, I was a kid when it happened,” Zoro scoffed. He guessed he could let Sanji power through a smoke or two—the idiot chef was without Nami and Robin, after all. “Same with Perona’s dad, I guess. I don’t think Mihawk ever imagined that the favors would be cashed because one month his mansion is perfect and silent, and the next had me and Perona arguing. Loud.”

Law hit the ball and it went a decent distance—stayed fairly straight too.

“Not that I can blame her,” Sanji scoffed. “I bet you were a shit as a tween.”

“As though you weren’t? I think I still have the geezer’s phone number; he can verify.”

“Fuck off.” Law returned to their golf cart and put the driver in with the rest of his rental set. “Did you at least see where it went?”

“Yeah; we might actually make it out of here alive if we take turns being Strawhat-ya,” he replied. Law then took a quick look around. “He hasn’t come back yet?”

“Nope,” Sanji and Zoro said in unison.

“Fuck,” Law cussed. “If we don’t find him soon, he’s gonna terrorize whatever kid they’ve got manning the beer cart thinking there’s food there.”

“I say let him,” Sanji shrugged. “It’s not like we’re paying for this disaster of an outing.”

“Make Mihawk regret it,” Zoro added. “See if he asks me for another favor again.”

“I thought the object of this was to get in, golf, get out, and make it so that we don’t get noticed by Mihawk’s weird business associates or anyone else who might be a pain in our asses,” Law frowned. “Cora-san’s brother has been known to come here when he’s in-town—we need to keep a low profile. Can any of you handle that?”

“I know I can, but I don’t know if the moss-for-brains is capable of that, considering how we need to escort him around everywhere,” Sanji said as he got in the driver’s seat and turned on the cart.

“What the fuck are you saying, curls? That I can’t find my way around?! I can do that just fine!” Zoro sat in the front passenger seat, the pair immediately butting heads in the latest round of their constant, figurative dick-measuring.

Law screamed inwardly as he tried to not cry getting into one of the cart’s back seats; the mind-melting sex he was promised was not going to be worth this.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Robin and Brook were standing to the side of the putting green, watching as Usopp was measuring and calculating the sort of putt Nami was going to need to pull off in order to sink the ball. Nami herself was standing next to the ball, tapping her foot impatiently.

“Will you cut that out?” she scowled. “Any longer and we’re going to get people wanting to play through.”

“This is for double-birdie, Nami!” Usopp replied as he laid down on the green to measure at eye-level. “This will help keep us in competitive range! These don’t often happen with golfers of our casual nature! We gotta make this count!”

“Uh… I think you mean eagle not double-birdie,” Brook cut in. Usopp and Nami both glared at him, making him flinch. How scary!

“Usopp, I think I can math my own way out of this one and not ruin Robin’s lucky shot,” Nami grumbled. “You’re making too big a deal out of this.”

“Listen, Nami,” Usopp said, “we all know that you are really good at math, but we also know that I’m better at math and physics. It has nothing to do with making you feel stupid. Because you’re not. You’re terrifyingly smart.”

“Mmm-hmm,” she frowned. “You just don’t want to get murdered in your sleep.”

“That is always a goal, yeah.” He got up and went to go stand by Robin and Brook. “Okay—one of your normal putts should do it.”

“I could have told you that,” Nami deadpanned. She went to putt, only for an unexpected voice to cut through the air and make her overshoot in surprise.

“NAAMII!” Luffy shouted. Nami and Usopp both cringed—how the fuck did he escape the others? Everyone looked to see Luffy approaching via the beer cart, where he was sitting in the passenger seat munching on chips while… wait… Koby was driving the cart?!

“I always suspected the police department to not pay a living wage,” Robin noted as the cart stopped next to them. Koby shook his head.

“I’m undercover… kinda,” he admitted. “There’s a lot of varying movers and shakers participating in this tournament, and Commissioner Sengoku wants me to keep an eye out.” He then gestured to Luffy. “Where does he go so I can drop him off?”

“With Zoro, Sanji, and Torao,” Nami said. She leaned in to Luffy, who tried to ignore her glare. “Why aren’t you with them?”

“Golf is boring,” Luffy admitted, “and I have a lot more fun hanging out with Koby anyhow! We’re gonna go catch some weirdos being weird.”

“I thought you were going to keep an eye on Torao for me,” Nami scolded. “What’s going to happen if we leave him alone? There’s weirdos here that might want him for themselves and then no more Torao at the Sunny.”

“I dunno,” he shrugged. “He’s with Zoro and Sanji though, so I’d say they’re all pretty safe from weirdos.” Luffy then noticed that Usopp was laying down on the grass. “What’s the matter?”

“We just lost a major shot thanks to you…” Usopp whined. “The only way we’re going to make that up is if we score a triple-eagle on the next one!”

“I wouldn’t count on that,” Robin said. “Those are incredibly rare. They’ve never been accomplished in professional play.”

“Yeah—the only way to get a condor would probably be to cheat, and I don’t know if we want to do that,” Brook added. He handed Koby some money and the young man passed him a juice box, which he proceeded to drink loudly. “At least, I wouldn’t do that here.”

“Mr. Soul King’s right,” Koby said. “We can’t lose our heads just because we want to stay ahead in the game! There’s villains out there that we have to catch!”

“You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?” Brook deadpanned. Koby didn’t seem to listen, as there seemed to be stars glinting in his eyes.

“Come on, Luffy! What do you say?”

In his defense, Luffy did seem to think about it. He thought for only a few seconds before a spine-chilling grin crept across his face.

“Nope!”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dracule Mihawk was irritated. It took a lot of nonsense at once to get him irritated, honestly, for if there was one thing that keeping the brats in his home did for him was turn his nonsense threshold terribly high. There was also the fact that many of his business associates were—unfortunately—absolute goons that made him question the hierarchy of who was able to move up in the world and who was kept down. He tolerated them at best, especially on days where he was made to do social activities.

Even a bottomless wine tumbler could not change the fact that his present company was… lurid.

“Just take the shot already,” he droned. Buggy flinched from his spot over on the fairway—he was in the middle of adjusting his stance, which had been going on for two minutes too long.

“Watch out; you’re going to spook him,” Crocodile chuckled. The pair were sitting in the front seats of their cart while Galdino was standing next to the vehicle. “Do that and we might have to record a mulligan.”

“I don’t care; this is wearing on my nerves,” Mihawk replied. He took another sip from the tumbler and hoped the chilled compartment in his bag was keeping the rest of his very necessary bottle intact and a decent temperature, even with the sun. “How do you do it?”

“Honestly? I’m just glad I can use him as a human shield,” Galdino shrugged. “He’s almost the perfect decoy.”

“Hey, I heard that!” Buggy snapped. “If you’re such big shots, then why am I even here?!”

“…because we’re trying to network through charity events,” Galdino reminded him. “We have to look legitimate, remember? That involves shit like this sometimes.”

“…or would you rather default on that money you owe me and have the next decade of your life be a living hell?” Crocodile threatened with a grin on his face. Buggy swallowed hard while Mihawk sighed in distaste; the other man certainly had a way to make things so base. “What? You mean you wouldn’t want to watch him squirm?”

“At least don’t shout it out to the entire course,” Mihawk replied. He adjusted the umbrella that was shielding him from the partly-cloudy skies and grunted. “I wonder how Zoro’s doing, if making his friends come along has made him behave.”

“I don’t care to find out,” Crocodile scoffed. “That brat’s still on my shit list, as are all his friends. It’s a bad idea if you ask me.” He went to light another cigar and Mihawk’s lip curled.

“You smell enough like those things; you don’t need a refresher.”

“If you can drink, then I can smoke,” he grumbled. “It’s only fair dealing with this shit.” Crocodile gestured towards Buggy with his now-lit cigar.

“Why am I here…?!” Buggy sniffled. “I don’t even like golf!”

“Just hit the ball,” Mihawk, Crocodile, and Galdino said in unison.

“Fine! You want me to hit the ball?! I’ll hit the fucking ball!” Buggy took a running start and smacked the ball as heard as he could; ball, turf, and club alike soared into the air, making his companions groan in frustration. They all kept their eyes on the ball, however, watching as it plopped onto the putting green and… “Wait, what the fuck, did that just go into its home?!”

“It’s called ‘the hole’, you idiot, and it looks like you did,” Crocodile replied, almost impressed.

“So I got a hole in one?!”

“No, but you did get something,” Galdino muttered. He did the quick math and an even quicker lookup on his phone. “Apparently this is called a double-eagle! You’re three strokes under par!”

“Fuck yeah!” Buggy pumped his fist and started a victory dance, in which Galdino joined in. Crocodile simply chuckled as he wrote down the score, while Mihawk took a swig of wine.

“Of course he scored an albatross,” Mihawk sulked. “He is the bloody albatross.”

“He’s something alright,” Crocodile laughed. He and Mihawk watched the victory celebration for only a moment before he raised his voice slightly. “Get in the car and let’s confirm that hole-in-two.”

Buggy did not seem to hear him, continuing to dance to a song being played on an imaginary speaker. He was so engrossed in dancing, however, that he completely missed the fact that the beer cart was coming his way… or that it honked… or that it was about to run him over until he was clipped by the cart, its teenaged driver laughing mirthfully as he sped away on the now-ruined fairway.

“Sorry ‘bout that!” Luffy shouted. “You should probably pay attention!”

“Ow! Fuck! Watch where you’re going you!” Buggy was in the process of being helped up by Galdino when he saw his assailant: wide grin, polo shirt ripped at the sleeves, sandals, jorts cut off at the knee, a straw hat… oh, his blood boiled. “I’m gonna get you, you little shitstain!”

“Oh, that’s tempting,” Crocodile noted. He then watched as Koby ran after the beer cart, his attempt to catch up on foot not entirely feeble in execution. “Ah, one of Garp’s pets is here anyhow. That’s not a lot of fun.”

“Could be,” Mihawk shrugged. “Depends on how you look at it.”

“I evade taxes, not back pain; let them sort it out.” Crocodile saw that Buggy was not yet back on his feet, which was frankly irritating. “Get back in the cart, dumbass, or we’ll leave you behind!”

“I think that idiot broke my ankle!”

“Walk it off!”

“Easy for you to say!” Buggy grumbled under his breath the entire time Galdino helped him hobble to the cart, hissing in pain as he was deposited into his seat. “You couldn’t have gone and, you know, picked me up?”

“Waste of battery.”

“This bitch has a solar panel roof.” Crocodile said nothing as he turned on the cart and began to drive away. “Can we at least stop to grab my club? It’s a rental.”

Eh; he guessed he didn’t mind that much.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

A/N: For those who might not know, referring to something as an albatross that’s not, you know, the actual bird means that something is a burden. A person can also be considered an albatross, but it also can mean the person’s an idiot.

[oliviaischillin1204]

This Fanfiction Of Sanders Sides Is Called "Bluey" Part 4: Janus

[olivia's note: hey y'all! this is the 4th and final chapter of a fic by the amazing anne onymous! thank you SO MUCH for submitting this to me!!! i'm so grateful for your writing <;3]

chapters (1) (2) (3) 4

Patton walked into the kitchen, immediately catching Janus's attention. "Hi Janus! Sure is quiet tonight, huh?" Patton greeted. "It was. Since when are you up this late?" Janus asked, rolling his eyes. "I just have too much energy to sleep. Roman too. Since we're all up, wanna come play with us?" Patton offered. "Nice try. I heard about what you two did with Remus and if you think I'm going to fall for this, you're clearly just as dumb as I thought." Janus said before sipping his wine. "Well, guess you leave me no choice but to bring out the big guns. Roman!" Patton called out, summoning the prince who was carrying many Bluey toys and their YouTooz plushies. Patton took half and flashed his best puppy-dog eyes. "Why do you never play with us?" Patton cried. "What is happening?" Janus asked. "You're always with Remus!" Patton whined. "Because no one else can handle him! Even then, I spend half my time hiding from him." Janus argued, trying to stay strong. "It's like you don't even love us! Don't you know how much we love you?" Patton asked, tearfully. Janus was stunned. Why was this working? What was Patton doing with his eyes? And why did the plushies make it harder to say "no"? What is happening?! "How can you not love your own family?" Patton sobbed. Oof, the family card. "Alright, fine! I'll play with you." Janus groaned. "Yay!" Patton cheered, high-fiving Roman.

"Let's just get this over with. Whatever we're doing, are we doing it here?" Janus asked. "Of course not, silly. We're going to my room." Patton said, sinking out with Roman following after. Janus did the same and as soon as he appeared, Roman tackled him to the bed and pinned him down. He summoned scarves to tie Janus's wrists to the headboard–wait, their beds don't have headboards. Did they summon one just for this?! His protests fell on deaf ears as Roman tied his ankles to the bedposts and removed his shoes. "Untie me this instant!" Janus shouted. "Tsk tsk tsk, someone is certainly cranky, eh Patton?" Roman said. "Probably because he's up so late, poor snakey-baby needs sleepytime. Guess we'll have to tire him out so he can get the rest he needs." Patton reasoned. "School's in session, let's start the lesson!" Roman exclaimed as he sat beside Janus who was still struggling in his bonds. "What lesson?" Janus asked. "I promised Roman I'd teach him some of my tickle techniques. You don't mind, right?" Patton explained. Janus's eyes widened. He was only teasing about Remus's endeavour, he didn't think Patton was actually smart enough to come up with a scheme like this! He's managed to dodge all of Remus's attempts at a tickle attack for years but now he's tied up in a Y position and about to be made nothing more than a tickle toy? Well, he's certainly not going down without a fight.

"I will not be your experimental guinea pig, now let me go!" Janus protested. "Too late, you already agreed to play with us, Jennifer." Roman remarked. "Janus." he corrected. "Whatever." Roman scoffed. "Let's start with something you're familiar with, Roman." Patton suggested. "Perhaps this little game will change your tune, hmm?" Roman teased, manoeuvring his legs under Janus's back so his torso rested on his lap. "Ladies, gentlemen and esteemed guests, I shall now play for you the Rondo Alla Turca." Roman announced as he pushed Janus's shirt up, revealing his slightly scaley stomach. Janus wiggled and squirmed, desperate to stop Roman, but his struggling only got the job done faster. "Such good manners, little Jessica." Roman teased. "Janus." he hissed. "Don't care." Roman remarked, cracking his knuckles. He cleared his throat then began dancing his fingers all over Janus's tummy, singing and humming a tune before stopping when he noticed Janus wasn't laughing. Roman turned to look at Janus and smirked at what he saw. He was biting his lip and his eyes were shut tight. He was trying not to laugh. Game on. "My sincerest apologies, everyone. I seem to be having a bit of trouble with my piano. Probably just needs a little tweaking." Roman said, lightly pinching all over Janus's torso. The deceitful Side jumped and jerked with every pinch, still refusing to give Roman what he wanted.

"You sure he's a piano?" Patton asked with a wink. "You're right Padre, silly me." Roman remarked as he laid down next to Janus. He took his hat and placed it on his own head, tipping it. "M'snakey." Roman said, causing Patton to giggle while Janus scowled. "This is no piano, it's a banjo!" Roman exclaimed, "strumming" across Janus's belly. The dam finally broke when Roman got a little too close to his sensitive bellybutton, causing him to squeal loudly before bursting into a fit of laughter. "Nohohohoho! Rohohoman, I'm gohohoing to kihihill yohohohou!" Janus cackled before he snorted, causing Roman to stop and Patton to squeal. "Did you just snort?! That was so adorable!" Patton gushed. "Mention it to anyone and you're both dead! And Roman, give me my hat." Janus scolded. "You really think you're in any position to make demands, Georgia?" Roman queried, twirling the hat around on his finger. "That one's not even close!" Janus argued. "Close enough. Hey Patton, catch!" Roman said before tossing Janus's hat to Patton who caught it and decided to wear it. "Suits you better than him, but now he looks cold. No worries, I'll be your blanket." Roman said, laying on top of Janus. "Get off me, Roman!" Janus barked. "There's no Roman here, only a blanket. A crazy blanket!" Roman teased, digging his fingers into Janus's ribs. "Hahahahaha! I hahahahate yohohohou!" Janus laughed heartily. "The feeling's more than mutual, Ginny." Roman remarked.

"Uh-oh, looks like this blanket is infested with ticklecrabs!" Patton chimed in, scratching at Janus's underarms while repeating "tickle tickle" over and over again, not that it could be heard over Janus's giddy giggles. "Aww, the ticklecrabs just want a friend to play with. Luckily, I heard there's a lonely bug who also likes to play giggly games like this." Roman teased, straddling Janus's thighs. He placed his hands at the bottom of Janus's ribs and began crawling them down as he sang. "Poor little bug on the wall, ding ching!" Roman sung, digging into Janus's hips at the last minute which evoked a very loud squeak. Holding back his own snickers, Roman trailed down Janus's legs. "No one to love him at all, ding ching!" Roman continued as he scratched at the back of his knees, chuckling at Janus's attempts at kicking. He turned himself around and moved down to Janus's ankles, removing his socks. "No one to tickle his toes, ding ching!" Roman sung as he spidered across Janus's sensitive soles, delighted by the boisterous laughter that followed. "No one to blow his nose." Roman finished before blowing a raspberry on Janus's tummy, causing him scream with belly laughter as he bucked and struggled in his bonds. "NOHOHOHO! THAHAHAHAT TIHIHICKLES! HAHAHAHA!" Janus shrieked. "That's kind of the point, Janus." Patton said. Roman got back up for air and decided he and Patton should take a break, giving Janus one too.

Janus never felt so humiliated. So embarrassed. So...happy? And loved? The endless laughter was exhilarating, he felt a certain closeness with the others he's never felt before and the tickling sensations themselves were a lot more fun than he anticipated. He avoided being tickled for so long because he assumed he'd hate it but he was loving every second of it. But he has an image to uphold, so he can't let Patton and Roman know. "Hey Patton, remember the Bluey episode "Featherwand"?" Roman asked. "Uh-huh. It did not go in the direction I thought it would." Patton said. "Well, what do you say we give in to our imaginations and make our expectations a reality?" Roman offered, summoning a long white fluffy feather. "I like the way you think." Patton complimented. "Watch this." Roman said before fluttering the feather around Janus's ears and under his chin, causing him to giggle uncontrollably. "And if you think that's cute, wait until you see this." Roman said, noticing Patton squealing into his hands. He pulled the feather away and raised it in the air. "Heavy!" Roman exclaimed, causing the feather to glow golden. He began tickling Janus's belly with the feather but this time, he bellowed loudly and struggled frantically. "Oh, I get it! Bingo's featherwand made things heavier when she said "heavy", and yours makes heavier laughter!" Patton said. "Close. It actually feels like heavier tickling which causes heavier laughter." Roman explained.

"Hey, you didn't even need my help this time! Good job, kiddo!" Patton praised. Roman beamed with pride. "Hear that, Jeanette? You're dealing with TWO tickle monster pros now. Cootchie coo!" Roman teased, moving the feather down to Janus's feet. "ROHOHOMAN, DOHOHON'T! HAHAHAHAHA!" Janus screamed. "Well well well, looks like someone's got feather-sensitive footsies. Tickle tickle tickle!" Roman taunted, waving the feather at his ticklish toes. Janus completely lost it. "AHAHAHAHA!!! GUHUHUYS, PLEHEHEASE STOHOHOHOP!!!" Janus begged, pulling at his bonds as hard as he could. Roman and Patton immediately stopped everything and in a snap, everything from the feather and the scarves to the bedposts and the headboard vanished. Janus curled into himself, still giggly from the phantom tickles coursing through his body. That. Was. Amazing. Not that he would ever admit it. Patton summoned a glass of water and tapped Janus on the shoulder, handing it to him as he turned around. "Here Jan, this will help." Patton advised. Janus took the glass and slowly gulped it all down. "Thank you." Janus mumbled softly, handing the empty glass back to Patton. "For the water or the tickles?" Patton asked. Janus froze. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out so he closed it again and looked down, sheepishly. "Your secret's safe with us. Promise." Patton assured.

"Plus, you and me can be considered even now after that comment you made about me and a certain Side." Roman said. "Seriously?! You're still moping about that?! Need I remind you I only said that because you laughed at and insulted my name?! And you still continued to make fun of it by getting it wrong throughout this ridiculous endeavour!" Janus protested. "I would've gladly apologised for that, had you apologised to me for comparing me to Remus of all people!" Roman argued. "Ok, let's all calm down. Maybe both of you should say you're sorry while we're here." Patton suggested. Janus and Roman glared at each other. "Janus, is there something you'd like to say to Roman?" Patton asked. Janus sighed. "Roman, I'm sorry for comparing you to Remus. It was hurtful and uncalled for. I promise I'll never do it again." Janus apologised. "Very good, Janus. Roman?" Patton said. "Well, I'm not entirely innocent either. I'm sorry for treating your name like a joke...Janus." Roman replied. The two fidgeted awkwardly as they uncomfortably stood in silence. "Come on, hug it out." Patton encouraged. Janus and Roman hesitantly walked towards each other and hugged. Roman felt slightly uneasy but Janus didn't want it to end. He didn't get hugs very often except from Remus, but he's too rough. Plus, he stinks. "See? Not so bad." Patton said. Janus let go of Roman, grabbed his socks and shoes, snatched his hat back from Patton and sank out.

"This was fun, we should do something like this again sometime." Roman suggested before yawning and rubbing his eyes. In an instant, he changed from his signature look to a white tank top and red pyjama pants. "Thanks for everything today. Night, Patton." Roman said, leaving the room. "Goodnight kiddo." Patton said as he climbed into bed. He kissed all his plushies goodnight and dozed off. Today was a fun day. A day he would still be thinking about tomorrow morning. He found himself waking up earlier than usual and decided to do something productive. He borrowed some paper, crayons and colouring pencils from Roman and began to work on something for Emile. As soon as it was done, he quietly sneaked down the hall and slid it under Emile's door. Emile woke up about an hour later and as soon as he noticed something on the floor by his door, he got out of bed and picked it up. It was a hand-drawn Bluey themed card. Each of the Heelers was sketched on every corner and the words "THANK YOU" were written in the centre. He opened the card and there was more drawings and a message from Patton that read "Thanks for your help yesterday morning, it made the day really fun. I got to tickle pretty much everyone AND help Roman with a few problems. I'd like to do something for you in return. Wanna have that Bluey marathon for real life?"

The End.

[straightfacedstrangeness]

Bulma rambling

Not sure if any of this is coherent cus it's totally stream-of-consciousness, but let's go.

Disclaimer again that it's been a long time since I've watched anything but the earliest DB/DBZ episodes and movies, so my memory of the anime-only "filler" scenes is vague at best, but...

Thinkin' 'bout Bulma's relationships with the other cast members and why things didn't work out with Yamcha, and how their relationship pretty immediately went from hormonal teens obsessed with how cute the other is -> Bulma constantly being cranky and frustrated with Yamcha and accusing him of having a roving eye while he meekly sits there and takes it.

(Sidebar: Again I don't remember "filler" very well but I'm pretty sure the most Yamcha ever actually does before Cell Saga is blush at the sight of a cute girl, while Bulma has a TON of screentime drooling over or openly flirting with cute guys. And then there are scenes where it's clearly wild speculation on Bulma's part, like in Tree of Might she hears Yamcha say he bought a fancy new car and IMMEDIATELY accuses him of doing it to impress other girls, while I think his dialogue with Puar earlier actually indicated that he was trying to impress HER. So while Future Trunks says Yamcha was unfaithful and that's why they stopped dating, he would have heard that from Bulma, so I don't consider that necessarily "the truth." :'D Yamcha seems to be an honorable and honest guy, so I find it just as likely that he was completely faithful but Bulma was obsessively jealous and/or always looking for a fight, or that Yamcha dated other women during periods where he and Bulma were broken up and she considered THAT to be "cheating.")

ANYHOW. Watching Namek Saga has me enjoying her dynamic with Krillin and going "well why didn't THAT ever happen?" (The real answer being, Toriyama or his editor wanted a new Saiyan baby and Bulma/Vegeta was the only possible pairing that involved existing and young/unmarried characters...) And it made me realize that basically every person Bulma spends time with is a complete pushover who lets her do whatever she wants. Yamcha tries to apologize or explain himself, but he generally tends to stay quiet and not fight back. He, Krillin, and Gohan are generally too polite or scared to speak up or push back when she gets bossy or rude, and Goku tends to either obey or outright ignore her rather than get into a fight. Her parents are completely easygoing and let her do whatever she wants. The only one who ever gives her a hard time is Oolong, and even then she can easily bully him into doing whatever she wants, just with a lot more yelling and insults.

On top of that, thinking about how she put up with all the hardship of going on the initial Dragon Ball quest despite her constant griping about how she hates camping and being in danger, and how she's always willing to join in on an adventure and run towards the big battle to try and help. And how she's constantly drooling over or trying to flirt with guys who are trying to kill her XD AND how she cuts school during the Red Ribbon Saga because it's "boring," and how the Jaco manga retconned/clarified that she had already graduated college before that point, so either she was going to grad school or was in high school as a social activity (or to hang out with, or keep an eye on, Yamcha).

...Anyhow, putting all those things together, it feels like what Bulma wanted all along was someone who'd push back, maybe to push her life in different unexpected directions, or some kind of challenge to keep her from getting bored. Someone who wouldn't just roll over if she started bossing him around, even though she also clearly gets frustrated when other people don't do what she wants. (And that's totally realistic! People are made up of contradictions, and what you want doesn't always match how you feel when you actually get it!)

It's been forever since I've seen past Namek but I feel like she really mellowed out after she had Trunks? So maybe raising a child was enough of a challenge for her that she was satisfied focusing on that, instead of obsessively trying to make a relationship work with Vegeta like she obsessively kept trying with Yamcha. So maybe their romance evolved more naturally, as a sidebar to both of them focusing separately on raising their son (Bulma as a caretaker, Vegeta as a combat instructor).

So Vegeta ultimately ended up being kinda perfect for her as someone stubborn and cranky who'd fight back but still be tsundere enough to let her have her way or dom him some of the time, both of them slowly learning to compromise together instead of one person running the show all the time.

Though, I'd always considered Goku/Bulma a NOTP for me, but thinking about it in these terms, that might have wound up working too: Goku obeying her some of the time because his Grandpa taught him to be polite to girls, but also going off and doing his own thing sometimes because he's ultimately as self-centered as she is. I'm feeling like it would have made things VERY weird within their friend group, though :'D Particularly Yamcha feeling he was thrown over for a younger man and that Goku "betrayed" him by "taking his girl." But at least being with Bulma would've forced Goku to spend more time with his friends during the series XD instead of repeatedly abandoning them for years at a time

[dykesynthezoid]

Was thinking about fun (and funny) places where the West Valley class of 85’ could’ve taken a senior trip (inspired by this fan art bc of course it is) (given there’s a lot of Encino kids at the school they could’ve probably sprung for Europe, right?) and after cycling though some cities in my head I think Amsterdam would be a very funny option.

Bunch of teenagers all convinced they’re going to get their hands on some weed. Daniel keeps trying to talk to random people and rambling on about nothing and getting an extremely blank Dutch Stare. Johnny laughs at him but he’s also cranky bc his personal space bubble keeps getting invaded. He def almost gets run over by more than one bicyclist. He and Daniel get lost in the Rijksmuseum. Also just. Like 40 teenagers taking the subway all at once. Johnny of all people being confronted with copious amounts of art and culture. Daniel frantically trying to explain why Van Gogh was cool. They try to go to an outdoor market and get rained on and have to duck into some little cafe. The ex-Cobras keep snickering bc they think all the Dutch words sound funny. There’s a non-zero chance Johnny and Daniel somehow accidentally end up in a gay club (or, hell, a gay coffeeshop). What’s not to love

[innytoes]

AU headcanon thingy: Reggie, the king of playground weddings for Reggie/Everyone

-His first playground wedding wasn't even on a playground, but on the docks of the lake at Camp Palmyrawolf, a co-ed summer camp his parents send him to. The pretty girl has sparkling eyes and a loud laugh and he thinks she's the coolest thing since Star Wars. He gives her a ring-pop and she gives him a ring made out of braided dandelions.

-By the time he gets back from camp his parents are divorced and his mom tells him she's taking him to LA. All his stuff is already packed.

-Luckily, he's not the only new kid to start school that year. He and Luke become fast friends, and they get married by the slide. Their other best friend, Alex, is the priest, since he's the only one who's ever been to a real wedding before.

-Only Luke's already married to Bobby and Alex says you're not allowed to be married to two people and his parents say divorce is a sin. And Luke sees the way that makes Reggie's lip wobble so he says that Alex' parents are stupid and he kind of pauses and thinks about it and says: Yeah probably.

-Luke and Bobby get a playground divorce by the big tree. It's much nicer than Reggie's parents' divorce, and they have a divorce party instead. Except now Bobby is a little sad, so Reggie says he'll marry him and not divorce Luke. It's okay, he's seen it on TV. It's called sister wives.

-Alex points out that none of them are wives and Luke says he can be a wife if he wants to be and Bobby falls over giggling and chokes out BROTHERHUSBANDS and they all laugh so hard they have to wait until next recess to marry Bobby and Reggie, since Alex keeps choking up laughing before he can pronounce them brotherhusbands.

-Reggie marries Alex two weeks later. He had to wait until he could make an appropriate ring, because Alex thinks doing things Properly is important. It's made out of paper and it took forever to make gold with the old gel pen he found.

-They meet Julie in music class a few years later. Julie is like the best person ever ("for a girl" Bobby says and Luke punches his arm). They're all allowed over to her house for a play date, which turns into a music date, because Julie's mom has a big piano and all sorts of instruments. She teaches Luke some chords on the guitar while he and Julie play a duet on the piano, and Alex and Bobby waltz.

-That year, Luke gets a guitar for his birthday, and Alex gets a drum set for Christmas , and Reggie gives all his saved up pocket money and birthday money and Christmas money from MeeMaw and Pops to his Mom and asks if that's enough for the shiny red bass guitar he's seen at the thrift store. (It's not, but she gives him an advance on his allowance and haggles with the guy behind the counter until he can buy it anyway.)

-They hang out at the Molina house a lot after that, pretending to be a band, and then deciding they are a band, because they say so. Reggie gets to stay over for dinner when his mom works late, and it's just the best thing ever.

-One day he sighs and says he wishes he could be a Molina too. He loves his mom and all, but she's almost never around and when she is, she's tired and often cranky.

-Bobby is the one who rolls his eyes and is like: why don't you just marry her then? Bobby's always been the jealous one.

-They're too old for playground wedding at twelve, really, but the way Bobby says it, he turns up his nose and says: "Okay, I will". And he grabs an empty doritos bag and cuts and folds until he has a shiny ring, and dramatically proposes to Julie, who laughs and says yes just to annoy Bobby.

-Carlos is their priest of course.

-"Finally," Luke sighs. "We have a sister wife."

Julie is very confused and then very amused when they explain. She presses a kiss to Reggie's cheek and says she's okay with sharing him, as long as he does his spousal duties.

-He's not sure what spousal duties are, so he asks Alex, whispering a little too loud.

"I think she means taking out the trash," Alex whispers back. "That's what my dad does."

"And do the dishes," Julie said curtly. "My papi always does the dishes. And you have to say 'Honey I'm home!' when you get home."

"I can do that," Reggie agrees.

-Things are great, and their band gets better the better they actually get at playing music, and playing together. They still don't have a name, but there's no rush. Julie and her mom write a song for them, and Luke is so fascinated by it he asks if he can try. They kind of lose Luke and Julie for like two weeks that summer because they're so busy writing together, until Reggie tearfully reminds them that spousal duties also means sharing, and he misses them.

-Nobody is really surprised when he and Luke and Julie start dating for real. Nobody who matters has a problem with it, except Bobby, but that is quickly rectified when Reggie kisses Bobby on the lips and says a Brotherhusband is a brotherhusband.

-Three weeks later Alex shyly asks if that includes him too, and that's how he comes out. It's a little messy after that, because Alex does not want to date Julie, and Julie decides that's okay, and Luke and Alex try but they really really hate it, and Bobby's only ever been interested in dating Reggie even though he and Luke practice making out a LOT for two people who refuse to admit they're dating.

Everything gets really complicated until Julie's best friend Flynn makes a little chart with colour-coded lines. Reggie kind of wants to kiss her. So he asks. And she adds her name to the chart and draws a line between them in the colour for Dating.

-Flynn is like: I don't get playgroundmarried until at least the seventh date.

-Their seventh date is very romantic and then after dinner they take a walk and SURPRISE THERE'S ALL THEIR FRIENDS AT A LOCAL PLAYGROUND and Reggie gets down on one knee with a sour gummy worm ring like WILL YOU PLAYGROUND MARRY ME and they do.

-They're all happy together, and then Flynn brings over her new friend from the GSA club. And Willie is really cool but something about him is so familiar.

-And then one day Bobby says something dry and sarcastic and he laughs so loud and something in Reggie's head goes ping.

-He's smooth about it though and waits until he can talk to Willie one-on-one. And carefully asks him if he ever went to Camp Palmyrawolf.

-And Willie goes very still and it looks very wrong for someone who is usually so wriggly and Reggie is like: it's cool, I just... I think I gave you a ringpop once?

-And Willie asks him to please not tell anyone, and Reggie asks all hurt: "About our marriage?"

-And Willie just stares at him for a good long while until Reggie goes "OOOOOH wait no I won't tell anyone about that, you come out on your own time, but... it's you right? You taught me how to do a cartwheel and draw that weird S thing."

-And Willie nods and smiles and Reggie grabs his hand and pulls him back to the group and proudly announces he found his first, long-lost husband.

-And Willie is a little confused when everyone starts chanting 'brotherhusband' but also it's like really gender-confirming so he'll go with it.

-Reggie also whispers to Flynn that the way Alex and Willie keep looking at each other, she's gonna have to update the chart soon.

-Alex and Willie's playground wedding is at the same time as his and Willie's playground vow renewal (and promise to try this dating thing) and he couldn't be happier.

[bluejay-writes]

Heaven is a Misnomer - Chapter 1

To protect him from his unsafe home life, Jake's mother sends him to the Celestial Realm for an exchange program. Jake faces a pile of Celestial Realm biases, a broken system of oppression, and unlikely friends. This year is going to be unpleasant at best, but he'll survive. Hopefully.

Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me! Rating: Teen, for now. Might bump it up for violence but I don't think it'll get that bad. Chapter 1 Wordcount: 3136 Characters/Relationships: Jake (Exchange student OC) / Raphael (Eventually. This is a slow burn). Michael exists, mentions of all the demon brothers and extras exist, and they appear in some of the middle chapters. A bunch of new OC angels because we don't know enough about the celestial realm in canon. Notes:

Well fam, here we are, as promised. First week of 2024, Jake's story in the Celestial Realm. Bad Khakis. Michael being problematic.

I'm really excited for you all to get to meet the extended OC cast, given that we don't have a lot of named angels in canon! Also the exchange students that got introduced in DD get fleshed out so that you can meet them more as real people. (The more I write of this the more I love Bunny and Aya, honestly.)

I'll be posting a chapter every Tuesday, and given how long the chapters are turning out and how many chapters I've got plotted past what I've written, I hope you're down for another ~100k word ride.

This follows the canon timeline, and is happening simultaneously with "Devils in the Details" which chronicles Nia's first year of the exchange program in the Devildom. If you're here and sad that there aren't a ton more scenes with the demon brothers, well! There's a whole fic for that already! Knowledge of that fic is not necessary to read this one, but the tie ins make it fun!

You can also read this on AO3, if that's your jam!

|| Next Chapter >

Chapter 1: What do you mean, Exchange Program?

“Same time tomorrow, Mr. Costello?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Jake said, a smile plastered onto his face as though it was the most important thing in his world, and that he hadn’t been fighting tears for the last twenty minutes.

He’d been having tutoring sessions over lunch time for his entire high school career.  It had been the cause of no end of strife in his school life, but it was better for him than not.  The tutoring sessions were a cover, of course, for counseling sessions. Therapy. It was something his mother had worked out with the school counselor the moment she knew what school he was going to.  Jake had always been a troubled kid, and his mother wanted to avoid that kind of thing following him to high school.

This of course, was the cause of a ton of rumors that made his life ridiculous, but Jake was the king of gossip and rumors, so he was entirely too happy to either play along or do something completely contrary to what they were spreading that made the rumormongers look like idiots.

On his way to his locker, Jake glanced down at his phone. He still had five minutes before passing time to wolf down his sandwich. He was leaving the bathroom after washing his hands when he practically ran into his bestie Nia making a beeline for the ladies’ room.  She didn’t seem to even notice him, and he pursed his lips.  Great. Something happened while she was reading under the bleachers again.  That was the only real downside to his lunchtime therapy sessions. He never got to have lunch with his bestie, and as much as she claimed to love the time for reading, he knew she was dealing with her own personal hell. People were assholes. Especially their fellow students.

“Jacob, can you see me at my desk, please?”

Jake sighed, stepping up to his Chemistry teacher’s desk.

“Care to explain why you didn’t turn in last week’s assignment? The late work deadline was Monday.” He said, lips pursed in a way that made Jake think of a cranky old woman librarian.

“I did, Mr. Cook.” Of course he did. Jake did all of his homework, it was the one reliable escape at home.

“I have no record of your lab report, nor the associated worksheets.”

Jake bit back his retort. Fighting with Mr. Cook about this never worked, and only got the Chemistry teacher more and more on his case.

“I have the slip you signed when I turned it in.” Jake said, pulling out his binder and getting out the slip in question. He refused to let go of the paper, simply showing it to the teacher. He just knew if he let go of the signed slip that it too would get “lost”.  He didn’t know if Mr. Cook did it on purpose, but his grades were suffering because this man was determined that he never did his work.  The signed turn-in slips were his mother’s idea, after the last parent-teacher conference where his academic reputation had been dragged in the mud. Mrs. Costello was having absolutely none of that, she knew full well how much focus her boy put on his academics.

“Ah. I see that you do.” the teacher said, and seemed to set his jaw. “I will have to look into what might have happened on my end.”

“Please.” Jake said. He was thinking ‘See that you do.’ but he just had this feeling if he said that out loud he’d never hear the end of it. “Is there anything else, Mr. Cook?”

“No, that is everything I need from you, Mr. Costello.”

“Great, can I have a pass to my next class? I still need to stop at my locker, and—“

“You’ll be fine if you hustle.” Mr. Cook said, and then promptly dismissed Jake from his attention.

Jake cursed internally, and walked out of the room as fast as he could - he couldn’t do with being yelled at for running, but he was going to need to pull off the power walk of his life if he didn’t want to be late to his last class of the day.

“Welcome home, Jakey.” his mom said from the kitchen, where she was busily cooking dinner.

“Hey Mom.” Jake said, setting his bag by the stairs and plopping down at the kitchen counter.

“And how was school?”

“I had to show Mr. Cook one of his signed assignment slips today.”

“Seriously? That man gets on my last nerve.” 

Jake watched as his mother chopped ingredients for dinner slightly more aggressively than she had been.

“It should be fine. If not, I can go to the AP’s office and complain directly.”

“Heaven help that man if I have to get involved again.”

“I still think he’s just homophobic and taking it out on me because I’m the one most publicly out at school.”

“It could be, as much as I hate to say it.” his mother said, sliding the chopped vegetables into the skillet. “But maybe we shouldn’t talk about that right now—“

“Talk about what?”

Jake froze at the sound of his father’s voice from behind him. Shit. He’s home early.

“I was thinking it was possible that Mr. Cook is intentionally ‘losing’ my assignments because I’m gay, is all.” Jake trailed off towards the end of his sentence. He knew how this was about to go down.

“Some teacher is losing your things.”

“Yes. I have pr—“

“And it’s because you’re supposedly gay.”

“It could be.”

“So tell him you’re not gay. Then it’s handled.”

“That would be a lie, dad.”

“You’re kidding, right Jacob? This whole thing is a joke, haha, joke’s on old dad.”

Jake looked up at his dad and winced.

“No, I’m not kidding, dad. I’m gay.”  It was probably the fifth time he’d accidentally outed himself to his father.  It wasn’t like his dad was old enough to have Alzheimer's or something, he was just usually too drunk to remember anything the next day.

“Oh Andy, leave the kid be. You know it’s just a phase.”  His mother said from the kitchen, and he winced. That was her way out of this argument every time.  Honestly, all he wanted was his dad to realize that being gay wasn’t the worst thing that a kid could be these days. It wasn’t even that rare for a kid to be gay, especially in the city.

It wouldn’t be that big of a deal, really, his dad not thinking the highest of him, but he knew that when his dad got upset like this… well… it went bad for his mom, real fast.

“Yeah sure, just a phase.”  his dad said, and threw his bottle against the wall.  From the way it splattered, it wasn’t quite empty, either.  Jake didn’t look forward to cleaning that up.

Here we fucking go. Jake thought. He started to say something, but his mother spoke before he could.

“Jake, go to your room.” His mother said, gaining all of his father’s attention.

“What, Marnie. You just going to take his side?” his father spat, and Jake all but sprinted up to his room, grabbing his bag on the way.  There was a reason he always left it against the stairs, much as he wished there wasn’t.

He got into his room and shut his door, practically collapsing into his desk chair. Perfect way to spend a Thursday night, he thought, pulling out his math homework and his phone.

Jake > Nia: Nia, they’re at it again. Nia > Jake: Oh shit. What this time? Jake > Nia: Same shit, different day. Dad found out I’m gay, I guess. Nia > Jake: You came out to your parents more than a year ago!!! Nia > Jake: How many times is this going to happen? Jake > Nia: I don’t know. What can I do? I can’t.. Anything. Nia > Jake: You know you’re always welcome here. Jake > Nia: I can’t leave my mom. Nia > Jake: I know. Hey look on the bright side, tomorrow’s Friday. Jake > Nia: Friday… gods bless Friday, I need my Ma hugs. Nia > Jake: Me too! Also it’s Pizza and Ice Cream Friday. Jake > Nia: Now there’s inspiration to get my math homework done.

Downstairs, more glass shattered, and Jake winced. He just hoped his mom was going to be okay, after this.  He knew he’d hear all about it tomorrow, how much he was a bad son, and did he have any idea what she went through for him…

I really do understand. Jake sighed, and put his headphones on.  The music was far too loud, but it served to drown out the mess that was his home life so that he had a chance to get his homework done.

Now… how was this supposed to work again? A squared plus B squared…

Jake woke suddenly to a hand on his shoulder, and jumped so hard he almost fell off of his bed.

“Sorry Jakey.” his mom said quietly. “Your dad’s out again. I brought you some dinner.” She set the bowl of vegetable-heavy macaroni and cheese on his desk.

“You don’t need to apologize, mom.” Jake said, reaching out to pull his mom into a hug. “It’s not your fault he’s like this.”

“I know, baby. But you deserve better.”  She ruffled his hair, and chuckled. “Looks like we need to trim your sides again.”

“Oh no, am I getting scruffy?”

“Just a little bit.”

Jake felt a strong need to put a hat on. Scruffy did not fit his aesthetic one bit.

Honestly, he wasn’t sure he fit his own aesthetic at all.

Circumstances made it so that he came out of the closet way earlier than he really felt comfortable, but he knew that if he was just himself, but gay, that it would backfire.  So instead, he was flamboyant, expressive Jake.

At least in the privacy of his own bedroom he could be himself. Quiet, melancholy Jake. Much less bright than anyone thought he was.  Anyone but Nia, at least. His bestie knew him inside and out, so at least he had that going for him.

Friday dawned like any other day ending in Y, and Jake hauled himself out of bed and to school. Early, of course, for track practice.  His mornings were utterly incomplete without a long run.  Something that helped him clear his mind and get his school mask settled into place.

Of course, by the time he was in the locker room showering off the sweat and changing out of his running gear, the rumors and gossip were already flying.  There were two new students today. Something about an exchange program.  Jake soaked in as much gossip as he could on his way to his first class. He absolutely had to share this with Nia. Hopefully she was already in class, and there hadn’t been some incident keeping her from her morning reading. It seemed like that kind of week.

Jake bounded into the classroom, glad to see Nia in her usual place.  He plopped down in his chair, facing backwards so that he could chatter at her before class started.

“Nia!!!”

“Morning Jake. Happy Friday.” Nia looked up from her book, casually putting her bookmark in to hold her place. 

“That’s your normal Friday Greeting. Today is not a normal Friday!”

“What?”

“There are new kids!”

“On a Friday?”

“Yep!”

“Their parents are the worst. Why would you start your kids on a Friday, at least wait until Monday.”

I think my dad takes the cake for the worst, but… sure, Nia.

“Okay, okay. I get your point, but like… they’re both seniors. Brothers, apparently. And smokin’ hot.”

“I’ll take your word for it?”

“No way. Between the two of us we have seven classes today. Surely we’ll catch sight of one of them, right?”

“Yeah. Hell of a story to tell ma later.”

“Miss Laney. Language.” Mr. Randall said, entering the room.

Jake rolled his eyes, grateful to be facing away from their teacher initially.

“English, Mr. Randall. Christian jargon, specifically.”

The teacher laughed. “Alright, alright. Good morning.”

At least he was dealing fine with Nia’s pedantic backtalk this morning. Maybe he was excited about new students to teach, as well.  Jake turned himself around in his chair, as the rest of their classmates started to file into the room. Jake was excited to meet the new kids, but he got the vibe from Nia that she could do without adding any new potential bullies to her watch list. He didn’t really blame her for it. She had the worst luck.

After lunch, Jake walked into Chemistry, expecting to have another discussion with Mr. Cook about his homework.  What he wasn’t expecting was for his usually vacant table to be populated… by the two new kids.  Oh, sweet! He’d get to meet them and could tell Nia what to expect in case either of them were choir kids.  The blonde looked… choir-possible. The other… seemed like he’d rather be skipping.  Did he just wink at me?

Jake settled into his usual chair, and engaged immediately with the new kids.

“Hi, I’m Jake, and apparently we’re table buddies now.”

Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome - the one who’d winked - grinned. “Hi there, Jake. I’m Diaval. And this,” He gestured to the blonde who looked like someone had taken him off of one of those 90s trashy romance book covers, “is my brother Mark.”

“Pleasure to meet you. Brothers, both seniors…” Jake said, thinking. “Don’t let me sound too stupid here, but you don’t look like twins.”

Mark scoffed. “Please. We’re barely brothers. My father is—“

“Someone entirely different than mine.” Diaval finished, rolling his eyes.

Oh. Jake thought. They don’t get along at all. This is going to be interesting.

He slipped his phone out and sent a few quick texts to Nia, before turning his focus on Mr. Cook, lest he get his phone confiscated.

Jake was looking forward to band.  His last period class, Band usually kept him sane and happy. He was surprised, after their conversations in Chemistry not to see Diaval here in band. He’d seemed like a musical sort. Maybe he was in choir with Nia.

Shaking his head to get the new kids out of it so that he could focus, Jake waved to his fellow percussionists before getting himself settled at the timpani.  He’d just picked up the mallets when the director beckoned him over. Setting the mallets down carefully, he practically flounced over to the director. The man never needed him for anything before, so this was a novel experience. He wasn’t even the percussion lead…

“I just got a call from the office, Jake. Your mother is here.”

Jake blinked. “Why is my mom here?”

“I certainly don’t know.” the director said, shrugging. “But apparently you’re going to be heading out straight from the office today, so grab your bag. I’ll see you Monday.”

Jake knew not to argue. If mom was here to pick him up, there was probably a good reason. Better her than dad, that was for sure.  He’d have to text Nia from the car, though. She’d worry, otherwise.

Of course, he didn’t have to do that, as he ran into Nia in the hallway.

“Oh hey! I have to go to the office—“

“—because my mom is here…”

“Weird.” They said in unison, and weird only began to cover the next few hours.

Their moms had come together. And had taken them out to get fancy coffee. Which was like ten red flashing lights right there. Something was very off.

Of course something crazy was happening. Of course.

“So, you’re saying you signed me up for an exchange program?” Nia said, and the look she was giving her mother over the top of her coffee-adjacent drink was telling.

To be fair, Jake was giving his own mother the same look.

“Isn’t it just supposed to be like, to another country though?” he said, concerned.

“Well…” Nia’s mom started, and his mom interrupted her.

“It was my idea. I didn’t know if you two would get in, but I suggested to Lynn, I mean Nia’s mom, that we could sign you both up so you’d be together.”

“Well, that backfired.” Nia said, bitterly.

“They said you can still text though! And video call, and regular call!” Nia’s mom said, trying to sound excited for them.

“But…” Jake said, not excited about being separated from Nia, and especially displeased about leaving his mom alone with how his dad was being.

“And there’ll be a big dance at the end of the program.” Jake’s mom said, her smile equally fake.

“So you’re saying the two hot guys who just transferred in today are our replacements?” Jake shared a look with Nia. That would explain some things about the supposed ‘brothers’ they’d met.

“Well…”

“In Nia’s case, yeah, literally.” Her mom said. “They’re staying at our place since we have the space…”

“And you’re going to trust them to take care of the girls?” Nia said, cautiously.

“Well, no. I had to take a few months of 8-5s to cover Janice’s maternity leave, so it works out.”

“That is suspiciously convenient.” Jake said with narrowed eyes.

“Jake… There’s a reason we did this. I’m divorcing your father. But It’s going to be messy… and I need to know that you’re safe, okay?”

“So you’re sending me off to Literal Actual Heaven where Angels are from to keep me safe.” Jake was angry. Nia just looked like she was numb. “And you’re sending Nia off to Literal Actual Hell.”

“Technically it’s the Celestial Realm and the Devildom.” His mother said, quietly.

Nia still hadn’t done so much as blink in the last five minutes.

“Adania. Please. Just try it. It’s a year. It’s Room & Board covered, and we have been promised you will both be entirely safe.”

Jake reached out and took Nia’s hand in his, at which point she basically melted, falling over into his shoulder.

“Ugh. Fiiiine. Can we still have pizza and ice cream night?” Nia asked, sighing.  Jake could feel the subtle trembling.

“Yes. But we’re going out for pizza.” her mother said, grinning. “And Marnie’s coming along.”

“What.” Nia said, so blankly it wasn’t even a question.

“Yeah, we’re gonna do the whole arcade thing.”

“Mom, we can’t afford that.”

“With the stipend they’re giving me to house a literal angel and a literal demon? We’re good.”

“Mo-om!”

“Hush. You’re leaving tomorrow. Let me spoil my baby girl.”

Nia rolled her eyes and Jake just laughed. 

A year in Heaven, huh? Wonder if it was going to be anything like Seven Minutes in Heaven. Maybe he’d kiss an angel. Ha. Gay angels. Unlikely. This year was going to suck.