#extensive yapping

[carmenized-onions]

It’s been a little while since you’ve posted on here so I hope you are doing well and taking care of yourself!!! 💖

my darling loves, I'm so sorry

I'VE BEEN SO EMBARRASSED. I HAVEN'T WANTED TO SHOW MY FACE AROUND THIS TOWN BECAUSE I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SHOW FOR MYSELF AFTER TAKING SUCH A LONG TIME AWAY FROM YOU ALL.

I've been. violently busy. in a good way, mostly. One of my jobs is the best job in the world and the other one is such a bitch it makes me scream every day forever.

but i'm also spending time with friends and enjoying life !

My mom also finished her last chemo appointment just a few weeks ago!!! YIPEEE!!!! Her CT Scans look GOOD!! so no chemo for the foreseeable future. She's unfortunately got the type of cancer that doesn't go away, but at the very least, it's MANAGEABLE. And that's a huge win. I'm very very grateful.

I ALSO FOUND A THERAPIST!!! gone to 2 sessions so far. every session she uncovers a new fucked up facet of me and honestly, can anyone else relate to this, it's sort of nice for someone else to look at your life and go like "oh wow. oh wow there's like. there's like so much here." like it feels good to think oh hurray. i'm not crazy. life IS fucked!

MY BROTHER MOVED!!! this took up a lot of my time, honestly. i love him and my nephew and my sister in law dearly. so i spent a long time making their gifts. i'm silly.

OUR CAT GOT SICK!!! HE'S GOT PEE CRYSTALS CAUSE HE'S OLD!!!!! HE'S DOING OKAY NOW THOUGH!! HIS STUPID URINARY FOOD IS SO EXPENSIVE THOUGH!!!

ANYWAYS. those are my major life updates right. So what's with the no chapter happening??

i. hated. the draft i'm working on so much. that i didn't work on it for like. a month.

and then in a haze. i left myself this voice to text note in my notes app as i was falling asleep one night.

then i hated that too. a week passes. perhaps two, actually.

i finally gain the courage one night to read my draft over.

it's actually not bad at all

it's actually pretty good

some scenes definitely need reworking but that's because i need to fully realize some character feelings

I just had really intense writers' block and fatigue, honestly. But i'm finally writing and EXCITED about it, again. I'm pulling that shit up on my commute and writing whenever i can. which makes me really happy. i was not loving the way it felt like a chore, for a minute there.

that said.

100% going to be more realistic with this chapter waiting timeline, and put a 'hiatus' or some sort of 'delays' tracker on my landing page. cause like. i keep saying check back in 2 weeks. and that's not fair to me or you girl. let's keep it real.

i think we're like.... hm... 50-60% there. (i'll update my landing the day after this post, it's late and i'm eepy)

i MIGHT write some blurbs in the mean time, it really depends. i keep having ideas and then they blink out of existence. perhaps send ideas. i might do something with them.

BUT YES I AM OKAY AND ALIVE. My silence came from a LOT of life stuff getting in the way and also a lot of honestly embarrassment. i hate coming out here over and over and being like haha. i've got nothing <3

but i know that y'all will understand, and i need to trust in y'all's patience more. and i'm GONNA!!!

gonna try to start up my 'answering one ask a day' trend again. except wednesdays. i work late on wednesdays so fuck that. but perhaps all the other days you'll hear from me.

alright. i'm going to shut up now. was any of this coherent? i don't know. thank you for listening!! i missed you dearly!!

[dykekarkat]

two of my favorite hcs that i have are that andrew is like an extreme car guy he fucking loves expensive fast cars but he also knows like jackshit. refuses to learn anything about them. originally bought the gs by asking for the most expensive thing he could get within his budget. the maserati gets a flat tire and andrew is staring down at the tire jack like he can explode it with his eyes. the engine makes a weird sound and he just plays the music louder and ignore it. and then u have neil who knows literally nothing about car breeds and what makes them impressive but is like magical when it comes to making them work. takes him 10 minutes to change a tire. he looks under the hood once and suddenly the engine light that was on for 2 months? disappears. he's like 'hey andrew have u ever checked the oil' '...' 'andrew you've had this car for 4 years'. they go on a drive one day and the maserati breaks down so neil shows him how to hotwire a car so they can drive to a nearby garage and andrew thinks it's the hottest thing he's ever done

[tinartss]

dapg lore goes crazy

+ the sticker sheets i made to hand out at my show and give to dnp! :) i have about 15 extra i'm planning to put up on etsy or kofi at some point in the near future (i was hoping this month but it is looking less and less likely </3 but i will keep you all updated!)

+ many bonus sections incoming LOL guys they are so beautiful and sweet irl feeling ill and sick i love them dearly.....like actually so sweet and very beautiful.....

+ their very cute reactions to my stickers and art !!!! 😭😭😭

overall i had such an amazing time!!! so happy to receive a ton of bracelets and give out some stickers :) made a lot of very sweet friends and trauma bonded by freezing with other phannies at the stagedoor waiting for their phus to leave HAHA

and one last thing i recorded the preshow! it's here although there is most definitely a better recording somewhere else LOL

[domoriu]

hey so not to be a horny freak or anything… but im thinking about blindfolding nicho and just doing insane things to him while he’s kneeled down on the floor below you and he’s trembling in excitement but also fear for ur gonna do to him next. bite him? scratch him? pull his hair? pinch his nipples? fuck his mouth? edge him until his tears are soaking the blindfold? overstimulate him until he’s a drooly stupid mess? who knows!!! he’s a slut for the adrenaline rush and a slut for the pain so keep it comin fr (keep him cumming lol)

[hana-bobo-finch]

i love making low effort shitposts instead of properly explaining my oc’s lore 🥰🥰

[head-of-oncology]

Men with brown eyes are so influential to me a man with soft brown eyes could ask me to rob a bank for him and I'd be like "whatever you say babygirl 🫡"

[mirensiart]

I think it's funny that no one has guessed what the stab wound pain is lol

[snail-day]

Geto definitely dresses his lamb in white flouncey layers, in nightdresses and bloomers. Wearing pretty clothes designed for dolls rather than people. If there is any other colour it's a soft pastel accent, after all she needs to be as pure and pretty as possible. No harsh edges or lines, her nails are always filled down neatly, he applies soft makeup with a steady hand just so that he can be left with a lipstick mark on his cheek every morning. On occasions where she gets to leave the house, he has ger wearing something that matches him or the girls. So that everyone knows they are one happy family

This man is not just playing domesticity, he's playing dollhouse

This ^^^ beautifully well written. You get it. Though good fucking luck leaving the house.

This is what he's turning you into:

[carmenized-onions]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEE DROP THE NEW CHAPTER SOON!!!! (I mean that with a lot of patience and appreciation for writers) I literally look every DAY for the new chapter, I am so excited!!

oh love, I should probably put like a ,,, temp hiatus notice or SOMETHING on my landing now that I think about it, ,, the gaps keep gettin bigger and bigger ;-;

LOTS of life stuff is happening god what's the laundry list . . . Too much to name but to summarize WHY there's not been a new chapter out in a bit:

i haven't had the literal time to write!

i think looking at my version history I've had like a collective,,, 6 hours to write over the course of like? A month? rough. bad. sucks.

Got a new job semi in my field (film), STILL working my old admin job at the same time because I need the money, and on WEEKENDS when I'd USUALLY be working on CK is typically taken up by:

Chores around the house that need doing! I finally moved into an apartment, back with my old roommates innnn August? Yeah August.

DnD, with said Roommates! We play as often as possible, so. Like every weekend. And we yap so sessions are like 4-6 hours on the SHORT end of the spectrum.

And, the most important part, but albeit the newest addition to my life: My mom is doin' chemo right now, and will be for the next few months! Everything kinda gets dropped for that priority, yknow? this is also NOT me asking for pity or condolences BY THE WAY!!! A simple love ya take ya time kiss kiss is plenty, i do not love sorrys, i hate em

this isn't me saying HEY FUCK YOU FOR ASKING !!!!!!! Nor a guilt trip, I swear. I want a new chapter out of me as much as you do!! This is just me explaining, I PROMISE I'm not slacking lol, I'm relatively fast at writing. I think. I just literally have not had the screen time to do so.

which is why I started doing blurbs to sort of help tide you over while i take 10 years!!! is it working? me no know.

DON'T bother checking everyday, is all i should really say haha. I'm a yapper, I told u. Where am I in terms of progress on chap 16,,,, hmm,,, I have no idea. I've been considering making it a two parter because I have no idea how long two scenes are gonna be, we'll see. I'll probably make it 1 chapter because if i do 2 it'll ruin my formatting. my precious formatting

I THINK i'm free this weekend, roommates can't do DnD this weekend, I can't travel because concert tours are destroying the infrastructural integrity of my city all weekend, so,,, I think I'll have time to write? If I have the energy? That's a big if.

Check back in like two weeks minimum, and hopefully something by then? that or someone become my sugar daddy and I'll quit my second job, SIMPLE AS THAT MAN (seriously though, if patreon were viable, I'd do it)

[vind3miat0r]

do you think Avior and Starlight's love is sewed into the stars?

do you think the nickname "Starlight" becoming second nature to Avior means that Starlight themself had such an impact on Avior that it weaved itself into his very being?

do you think that, just how reformed!Vega said he felt a void — an outline — of where Warden used to be and pieced together that they used to mean something important to him, pieced together that they had spent so much time together their magic — their pure beings impressed onto one another...

do you think the same thing happened to Avior?

[lilmeowmrow]

quick comic redraw of *the* tkm scene

[abyssyby]

ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ author’s note — two birds on a wire

( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾ hello!

if youre here right now, you might be seeing this before two birds on a wire or after. if you haven’t read it, this author’s note might contain spoilers. this fic took me a while to write and as i finish, i can’t help but feel sentimental about it so i wanna talk cuz im gonna miss it (high chance i might snowball more emotional branches to this story in time n im being dramatic, but rn this is my baby)

two birds on a wire was supposed to be a crackfic bc i was frustrated with sylus’s cards coming home to me @ hard hard pity. mentioned here to rng anon (HI RNG ANON ILY!)

so it was an “ok u made me anxious pulling and failing, im gonna make ur kids follow u to a mission” and it was supposed to be him just scolding the boys & showing them what papa does for work. and the boys kinda going “cool! papa cool! i love papa >0<.”

but then it didn’t even get to that point because the moment i wrote Lucian sneaking up on him on his very dangerous flight on his way to his very dangerous mission on this secluded island of thieves and snakes— I felt the fear. the immediate clicking in sylus going “this is my son. this is my son and right now he is in danger.”

and the snowball started there— sylus wouldn’t be thrilled, he’d be mortified. scared out of his wits that he was innocently followed by his boys to just spend time with him, not knowing the stakes they’ve raised by being there.

and then that was a whole exploration of how sylus might handle this situation given who he is, what he's dealing with and who he's dealing with. how he would need to be the ruthless man at work, but also just papa so as not to traumatize his children to oblivion. how this event— the thought of losing his most precious boys to him despite success and victory, but the what-if that haunts him— would shatter him body and soul because he can't, he cannot have love taken away from him again.

and then like magnetized blocks, everyone just started falling apart— you who lost them in the first place, kieran and luke who were also supposed to be watching them and the little twins who, now realizing what they just walked into, were the epicenter of the earthquake.

as i wrote, i saw how this family would have had the dynamic of desperately trying to hold each other up while helplessly falling apart— and that's where MC/you/mama shines, as that broken savior, despite being weakened and battered by the events at hand, you— beloved, mama, boss hunter— still show up for them all. BECAUSE LOVE>??!!??!

it was a very challenging and stimulating process to get working on, but I'm hoping i did it well enough to showcase each one's nuances & complexities. and my most important hurdle when writing: giving each character their own texture and voice. so this was a super enjoyable study on how to do that (was not fun i cried real tears)

anyway, if you've read it and you're here— thank you so much. i am forever and always grateful for people giving my stories a chance & endlessly appreciative of your time reading them. especially this one, since it's longer than the rest.

if you haven't and you're considering to— I hope you like it!! I appreciate you as well.

All the kind comments, replies, tags, reactions, reblogs, etc. that let me know how the work was received are never taken for granted. i see you, i appreciate you will all my heart. you all make my days & weeks, and i hope my stories do the same for you in return.

thank you, stay safe & kind, dunno why this is ending like a love letter now, but much much love.

ʕ⁠っ⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠ʔ⁠っ ♡ urs

[rederiss]

in my head you are jeremy knox's number one fan and I wanted to vent about something regarding the treatment of "sunshine characters" and such. very brief i promise.

one complaint I kept seeing about Jeremy from other fans was that he "has no personality" and I'm like halfway through TSC and... that is just not true lmao. He's packed with personality. The darker edges of his character are definitely more subtle (like he blatantly disassociates at periodic intervals it's pretty rampant) but he's also...

There's this scene where he kind of puts his foot down and goes, "hey we are accommodating as well as we can you need to meet us halfway" when talking to Jean. And I found that interesting. Because for all Jean has been through he's definitely in the mindset of "this is what needs to happen and how things need to go" and there's only so much they can do before it directly collides with what Jean needs to heal. Which is someone challenging his perspective. Challenging his viewpoint and having the spine not to back down from it. And I see Jeremy as being very self assured in regards to his team (and less so to himself. I think it's a specific thing of "I am confident and assured and stands straight when it affects people in my team but I tend to run and avoid my personal and familial problems.) And that's like... the first eight chapters.

So, to come back to my point, the whole boiling down of Jeremy to this "bouncy happy sunshine boy" is already frustrating because he IS good but he's got a lot buried underneath that surface and that is legitimately compelling. But fandom is where gentle and good characters with nuance go to die ig. Was that salty? Maybe I'm just remembering my roots. I have a particular venom for characters who aren't allowed to be multifaceted because they happen to wear a smile.

GOD Im Kevin’s rival!! I am sorry but I will fight Kevin for #1 Jeremy fan. He can take #2 where he belongs, which is behind his queen tattoo…

Can I just say I am so glad someone else notices how often Jeremy dissociates. Made a post about it specifically with TGR, but he does do it in TSC. I say it’s a point of his characterization where people need to pay attention the most because it really shows so much of Jeremy Knox. I could go on and on about this, but I won’t. Instead, I will say that focusing on what Jeremy is attempting to omit in his narrative actually will clue us in with his deal.

The next thing I am going to say will be controversial but it’s actually the truth… People do not know how to read anymore. And I mean read with a critical lens and be able to understand the complexities of the words in front of them. Unless those words are explicitly stated (like in Neil’s and Jean’s POV), then they will not understand the complexities of a true unreliable narrator (like Jeremy). There have legit been studies that people’s critical thinking skills and reading skills are declining within each generation. Why do I mention all of this? Because it’s important to know why this is happening. Jeremy is the type of character where we HAVE to focus on what he is attempting on omitting, especially in the first book.There is another side to this whole issue where people believe that characters like Jeremy are boring because they aren’t edgy. We see how the fandom treats Neil, Jean, Andrew, and Kevin (love my edgy boys) vs Jeremy (Love my sunshine boy) and its very clear what the common denominator is for the other four. Jeremy is just as complex (and dare I say he can get just as edgy) as the others, but he has his reasons to not do this. Most people either a) don’t want to see that a sunshine character can have nuance or b) genuinely did not understand the breadcrumbs he dropped in tsc.

Okay, now that I got that long spiel out of the way. Let’s rave about my boy. Jeremy is such a character. He is the captain of the top 3 college exy team. He is caring and loving and understanding but he knows how to put his foot on the ground and stand up on business. I think the reason why he seemed not as nuanced as Jean is because we only get 5 (and a half) Jeremy chapters in TSC and the whole time he is avoiding his whole deal. He puts the focus heavily on Jean for a lot of reasons, which by now you should alreaady have the sense on what he’s doing. Essentially, he is playing a role in jean’s “rehabilitation” by stopping the platform from shaking so that jean can step on it. So, he isn’t focusing on himself. You’ll learn more about the logic behind this in TGR btw.

Fandoms generally dont like sunshine characters. Even with ATLA, the most liked character is Zuko, the most edgiest character in the whole damn show. He has so much complexity but they ignore that Aang (a sunshine characters) also has the same amount of complexity since they do mirror each other. Unfortuantellyyy Jeremy got that. People equate edgy to nuance and sunshine to 1 dimensional when that is not even the case. This goes back to my point of people not understanding complexities unless it’s stated directly to them. Edgy characters do tend to state everything under the sun while sunshine characters bottle up. It’s harder to crack open a sunshine character so they pass them off, but I guarantee you if figure out how to crack those characters open, a whole world will come out. I am hoped that TGR would remedy some of this, but I still see people falsely characterizing Jeremy in their posts or saying off hand comments about him that don’t make sense. It disheartens me as Jeremy lover.

[king-lena]

listening to ‘goodbye stranger’ from supertramp and only being able to picture that spn scene with cas on the bus after the dean says “i need you” and it breaks the connection like….. i hate how this could still have the same effect on me so many years later i feel so completely 16 years old rn wtf. like wow this is too much man….. god they are still so everything i don’t even care lmao

[qingwaaa]

DUDE, this random fucking chrome extension called 'tamper monkey' (which I have ZERO memory of ever downloading btw) just randomly spam opened over 100 tabs and would NOT stop and I thought I was being hacked, it was scarier than the time I spilt coke all over my keyboard

[kristiliqua]

>> hi extremely smart mutual. i want to know how you feel about v2. like in general . pretty please and thank you ^_^

HI MOOTIE i think v2 is soooo … baddie … girlboss ….. lesbian ……. mv2 is soooo real …… i unfortunately dont focus on her a lot (gabv1el brain too strong) but ough … she can be so tragic . the parallels u could do with her and v1 , possibly . how the two of them survive in hell . v1 running into danger as v2 runs away in order to live . challenging her predecessor , scrounging up scraps in order to try again , to win . failing , as v1 continues onward . compared to v1 , v2 is a lot more emotional . she goes back for v1 , looking for revenge and to take her arm back — so weirdly sentimental for her arm , when she already built a replacement …. v1 and v2 contrast each other quite a bit . their purposes so different , yet their builds are so similar , as they go into hell for the same reasons . IDK ….. plus the ways u could paint and interpret their relationship is so vast and i love it lots .. v2 my shayla ….