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crisalidaseason · 6 months ago

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A retelling of Iron Flame p. 1

Chapter 8 - Realizations

Summary:

Liam wakes up in the infirmary and waits to be mended. He worries about Sloane and assessment while simultaneously dealing with the terrifying confirmation that leadership wants all Resson involved cadets to die.

TRIGGER WARNINGS:

mentions and description of vomiting, dissociation

Previous chapter

****

Liam woke up in a startle, sweat glistening on his skin and sticking the shirt. His head was already pounding with the never ending headache. He shivered as the remnants of the nightmare plagued his awakened state, the constant blue light of Resson still lingering on his gaze despite the warm color of the sunrise seeping through the infirmary’s window. Liam tried to steady his heavy breathing and sit up but pain seeped into his senses. Liam cursed and hissed, trying to gather strength to sit up once more, but every move brought an agonizing pull to the injured skin of his back. He never thought burns could hurt so much even with the amount of stolen pain tinctures Sloane had given him.

“Sloane?” He asked upon noticing the empty chair next to the bed.

No response came. Laying on his side, breathing in and out the ache, Liam tried to recall the previous night, but could not remember a moment his sister left. Nor a moment he slept.

“Had to kick her out” a familiar voice said.

The privacy curtain was pulled aside, revealing Eya. Liam rarely saw her in the quadrant, nor did he know her much, but she was…well, she was looking miserable with the bloodshot and swollen eyes and a visibly tired face.

“Are you…”

She shook her head “not here, not now”

“Okay” he agreed, but had a bad feeling about it “so you’re my babysitter this time?”

She nodded “Bodhi asked me to keep an eye on you. Your sister didn’t wanna leave but I forced her to, today is assessment day”

Shit. Liam had to be there. So much could go wrong during assessment, laying on a bed while his sister went through that moment alone was unacceptable.

“And how do you expect to move and function if you are gravely injured?” Deigh replied.

“We both know it’s more dangerous if I stay here. They could kill me easily”

“Can you get a healer?” he asked “I need to be discharged”

“It’s not a good idea” Eya said “You weren’t mended yet”

“Your kin shares my point”

As if his back heard the words, another particularly painful sting proved the words right. Liam gritted his teeth and tried to breathe steadily, but it was becoming a frustrating ordeal not to succumb to it.

“I can return later for mending” he managed to say “and you can’t miss formation”

“I am allowed to miss it today. Bodhi-”

“Bodhi can’t risk having someone with me all the time while I heal. I need to be discharged today!”

Eya huffed but opened the curtain again and - as if Zinhal had taken pity on Liam once more - a familiar healer was nearby, checking on another burnt rider. In fact, there were quite a few riders there with some limb wrapped.

“Fuck, that orange really got us”

“Solas has always been intemperate, though it seems extremely accentuated since I last interacted with him” Deigh replied.

“Did someone die?” Liam asked despite knowing that the answer was an unfortunate yes, life had little importance in that quadrant.

“From what I have been told, quite a few”

Yago was checking the chart of another patient when Eya called for him. The gray colored eyes widened once they settled on Liam and the healer’s steps were soft but quick while approaching.

“Mairi?” Yago questioned, a line between his brows “I hoped not to see you here so soon”

It was a strange relief seeing the healer. The man had healed Liam - really actually healed - during the first installments of war games, but could Yago be trusted? A part of him wanted to but Xaden’s voice still rang the same reminder: Do not trust anyone that wasn’t in Resson. Liam did not think a healer so attached to their ethics code would break it to kill him, but maybe it was just wishful thinking.

“Burns too” the healer read the chart placed on the bedside table and grimaced “What a way to start a shift…”

“Kind of a collective issue during conscription” Eya replied.

“So I was told” Yago murmured, setting the chart down “let me check your back”

As usual, the man worked quickly through the dressing protecting and treating Liam’s wounds. The process of changing the wrappings was quick and practiced, but pain lingered with every pull and pressure, specially when applying ointment. Liam felt nausea fill his stomach and only managed not to throw up because his stomach was empty. Sweat began to form on his forehead and it took every ounce of his restraint not to cry out in pain.

“I’ll try to have the mender check on you” Yago said, taking the blood and ointment stained wrappings and stuffing them into the bin, alongside the thin leather gloves “your case is the most extensive so far, good enough to be prioritized. How are you handling the pain?”

“I’m fine” Liam lied “I need to be discharged. I can’t stay”

The healer blinked and glanced at Eya as if questioning what he heard “Liam, your shoulders are full of blisters and there are third degree burns scattered all over. You can’t return to your routine, there is risk of infection”

“and I can’t stay here. I take responsibility for what might happen”

Yago stared at Liam with a neutral face, keeping the professionalism as much as possible, but there was a gambling glint in his eyes “Can we at least wait until I get Nolon? He should be available soon”

Liam took a deep breath, looking at Eya.

“I think we can wait” she said.

“Sloane-”

“Is going to be in battle brief and history if I still recall my first year well” she interrupted, raising a brow at him “assessment is not until early afternoon and Sorrengail watches her every move. We can wait”

The words did not do much to deflate the worry settled on his heart. As much as Liam was thankful for Violet’s help, she had many more worries to deal with than taking care of Sloane, that was his job. Besides, he would rather not be vulnerable in the infirmary for longer than he had already been.

“If you won’t listen to me, then listen to your friend” Yago reinforced “besides, I’m sure you don’t want to come back here because of an infection and end up staying for longer”

“Let’s avoid that, huh? This year is going to be rough on all of us without a health issue” Eya said casually, though the dangers were looming in her sentence.

“Hear the wise words when they come, boy” Deigh chimed in.

Sometimes he hated when people had a point.

Liam groaned, but nodded at them in defeat “Fine, but I’m leaving first thing after lunch. Mended or not”

Yago gave him a shy smile, leaving a pain tincture on the bedside table “I know you’re in pain and it’s going to get worse once the dosage you took completely wears off. I recommend you take this”

The healer left and Eya quickly took the tincture, stuffing it inside the right pocket of her jacket. From the left one, she took a smaller and familiar vial “Let’s hope the mender comes, Sorrengail is running out of these”

“One more reason to leave as soon as possible. I can suffer the consequences in my room”

An hour later, the pain decreased enough that he could eat a meager breakfast without spilling his guts. Unfortunately, without the searing pain, his anxieties were through the roof with how long it was taking for the mender to arrive. The morning passed through the windows, changing the positions of the sun rays reflected on the walls, giving place to the midday. Liam was about to sprint from that infirmary - despite the utter discomfort he would feel - when voices broke the constant snoring of patients and moans of pain.

The privacy curtain was pulled aside, revealing a disheveled Yago and the old mender. Nolon was extremely recognizable with the black leather and hard features, but there was a stark difference in the man’s appearance that even Eya could not hide her surprise from. The mender had dark purple circles under his eyes, the face sunken in as if drained of vitality, the posture slumped. Nolon looked as if he needed a mender.

“This is the patient I mentioned” Yago said, winking at Liam discreetly “He is severely medicated or else we would not be able to hear a thing with his screams of pain, sir”

“Like you humans say: take the hint” Deigh chimed in.

Acting as if he was out of it? Yeah, sure, pathologically attentive and aware Liam Miari could definitely do that.

“Alright, shall we take a look?” Nolon replied to the healer “Can you two hold him by the forearms, I need him seated and contained”

Shit. That did not sound good.

Both Yago and Eya held one of Liam’s arms, Eya giving him a reassuring squeeze. Hands hovered over his injured back and a piece of wood wrapped in cloth was offered for him to bite. Before Liam could even brace himself, the pain invaded unannounced and in specific places first. For a moment, he thought the sensation, despite being really painful, could be dealt with. Until the stinging seemed to spread and take all the expanse of his shoulders and upper back, in a crescendo that soon became too unbearable for his mind to keep functioning and processing. There were voices nearby becoming more muffled and unintelligible. His sight blurred and darkened around the edges, there was a wet sensation dripping down his chin and chest, running through his nose.

All he could feel was the pain, as if the orange dragon had finally found him and finished the job.

Liam had no idea when or how, but when his senses returned he was laying on his back. There was nobody holding him by the arms, no mender on sight and Yago and Eya were nowhere to be seen. He did not have a shirt on, nor his wrappings. What he did have was a very insistent ache on his shoulders and an exhaustion that lingered in every joint and limb of his body.

“Imagine my surprise to come here to an unconscious brother” a voice nearby said “Again”

On his right side, sitting on a chair, was Sloane. He smiled at seeing her…then he panicked. On the right side of her face was an ugly bruise and her lips were split.

“What the fuck is that?” he asked, untangling his legs from the thin sheet and standing up, ignoring the way his limbs protested the movement rather loudly.

“Assessment” she said, shrugging, but Liam could see that she was very mad considering the tightness of her jaw and the unfriendly features.

He looked through the windows, noticing how low the sun was probably nearing the fifth hour of the afternoon. He cursed again loudly at losing his sister’s assessment. Fucking mending.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” he asked, motioning to take her face between his hands but Sloane ducked.

“I’m fine. Stop worrying for once” her gaze avoided his, the tell tale of nervousness expressing through her fidgeting with the braid.

“What is it?” he asked.

“I’ll call a healer” she avoided the question “You’re all mended and should be okay to be discharged”

“Wait-”

She left before he could even speak properly, the curtain still moving with the harshness of her motion. Liam was extremely confused with her behavior, not sure what had just happened. Sloane was never an easy girl - not that she needed to - but it felt odd to be on the receiving end of her avoidance when they once shared every single fear and secret with one another.

So many times he had cleaned her scraped knees and arms whenever their wandering through the cliffs of Aretia proved to be too slippery.

The countless nights he held his sister tight and comforted her cries over their work-and-duty mother.

All of those vulnerable moments Liam helped her through a meltdown because she wanted nobody else.

She had never shut him out like that.

“People change. Are you the same boy she knew?”

“You’re kind of annoyingly right all the time” Liam replied to his too philosophical dragon.

“I have made many mistakes in order to learn”

Deigh’s words still rumbled inside the sunroom when Sloane returned with an unknown healer and a shirt. The healer proceeded to ask questions about his recently mended skin before dismissing him quickly and without much care - after the predictable relic staring.

“By the way, can you send Yago Stillwater my gratitude?” Liam asked “he was great, as usual”

The healer did not reply but nodded discreetly, already stuffing all the sheets from his bed into a basket. Liam tried not to roll his eyes and left alongside Sloane, finally free from the infirmary.

“So” he asked “how was assessment? I wanted to be there but was not counting on passing out after mending”

He reminisced on the sting-free back, the ache not nearly as blinding as the burns, and filed a note to carve something for Stillwater as a thank you gift.

“It was…something” she replied “what’s with you and Sorrengail after all?”

He glanced at his sister with a raised brow “What do you mean?”

“Well, first, that bitch gives me - and only me - tips on how to cross the godsdamn parapet” Sloane said, raising her finger “second, she follows me around like a creep. What’s her fucking deal? Because I sure as hell won’t forgive her for almost killing you!”

Liam grimaced and tried not to be rude at the offense of a friend.

“I would rather talk about this in a more private place” he whispered “the halls have too many eyes and ears”

Sloane was visibly unhappy, but nodded in understanding. They entered the quadrant quickly and Liam guided them through the forming crowd of cadets leaving their classes and assessment, ready to enjoy their rare moment of free time before dinner and late night training began. He snuck between the cadets, right behind Sloane, with his eyes constantly glued on the people around them with enhanced accuracy.

“Should I be here?” Sloane asked.

“No” he replied.

She glared at him “what if they catch us?”

“They won’t, now look forward!”

She grumbled something under her breath but Liam was not in the mood for her low cursing of his entire bloodline.

The second-year hall was rather empty and he wondered where his squad was, making a mental note to look for Violet and thank her yet again for being…well, a fucking life saver.

“Wish I had room” Sloane mumbled once they reached his door.

There was a hum once they passed through the door and Liam figured that Bodhi had most likely woven the protective wards recently.

“Your bed is shit” his sister said, jumping on it unceremoniously “still better than mine”

“No!” he complained “Get out! You’re fucking dirty and I changed the sheets recently”

She did not move and Liam resorted to grabbing his sister by the boots, yanking her off the bed with measured strength. Sloane yelped as she landed on the floor on her butt, trying to unsuccessfully kick him on the shins.

“You’re a fucking asshole” she grumbled.

He sat on his desk chair, pinning her with a warning gaze when she motioned to climb on the bed again. Sloane raised her hands, sitting back down “Fine, fine! Come on. Spill already”

Liam sighed, gathering his thoughts though exhaustion was catching up to him. The entire day had been a sinuous path of emotions and he was about to enter another difficult curve. If he was not so at odds with Amari, he would ask for patience.

“First, tell me what happened at Parapet exactly” he said, still remembering Nadine’s words from the previous day.

Sloane eyed him hesitantly “she gave me a hair tie and asked me to braid my hair, gave me some tips on how to cross too. That’s all”

“Is that really really all? Because I know you, Sloane”

His sister groaned “I just said the truth to her face. If she didn’t like it, that’s not my problem”

“What truth?”

“The obvious one? That you almost died because of her!” her tone of voice was rising.

He motioned for her to be quiet “I don’t have a sound shield. Also, it’s not Violet’s fault. It was my decision”

“Why are you defending her?” she spat and then her gaze turned horrified “wait…are you two fucking?”

It was Liam’s turn to groan. If I got a coin everytime people assumed that…

Standing up, he sat down next to Sloane and sighed “No, we’re not. And I’m not defending her, Vi doesn’t need defending. I’m just stating that it’s not her fault I almost died because it was always my decision. In fact, she saved my life in most of those instances”

“And that’s an excuse? You would leave me all alone in the world for someone like her?” Sloane’s voice lowered considerably, but her eyes sent him loud thoughts. The mirrored reflection of his own fear and grief.

“You’ll understand better later, but Vi and Xaden can’t die, Ane” he tried to say as soothingly as possible “they’re the key for us to have a chance on what awaits us. If I had to die to ensure that…I would”

Sloane remained silent for a few minutes, not looking at him. Liam felt as if cracks were forming between them, wondering if they would split their bond in a way the distance had never done before.

“I am tired of being alone, Liam”

“But I’m here, aren’t I?” he countered “I’m alive. Vi saved me”

Sloane averted her gaze to his, shaking her head in denial “How can you be close to someone like her? Someone whose mother captured ours, sent murderers to kill father…who separated us”

It was always that question, huh? In the eyes of everyone with a relic.

“She’s not her mother. I had my own prejudices, to be honest with you, and only protected her to keep Xaden alive at first but…” he paused “Violet has proven to be an ally, to be the exact opposite of the general”

He remembered how easily Violet could have turned on them when the truth was exposed on the lake. How she could have simply let them fight on their own and fly to safety. Instead she swallowed the betrayal of their friendship and chose to fight at Resson. Violet could have returned to Basgiath and exposed the revolution to gain points with leadership, clean her record and impulsionate her career. She chose to lie for them.

“I am not asking you to be friends with her, Ane” he said, the shy sound of their beloved language echoing through the room “but don’t judge her like they do to us. We promised to be better”

“You can forgive easily, but I do not” her features were contorted in disgust.

“Then tolerate her. Tolerate the person that allowed me to live and see you again, because that is the ugly truth even if you don’t like it”

Hesitantly, Liam draped an arm on Sloane’s shoulders. For long minutes, his sister did not move or look at him and fears of the gap between them resurfaced. He was wondering if she would reject the comfort again, but relief soared in his soul when she rested her head on his shoulder.

“I’ll see what I can do”

“See? Wasn’t that difficult” Liam joked “now, tell me about assessment, little woman. I doubt it was as eventful as mine”

Sloane shuddered and Liam regretted his words immediately “I’m sorry. Want to tell me what happened?”

He could imagine though, still finding it difficult not to shudder at the memory of Jack Barlowe snapping a man’s neck, almost like a bad omen of what was to come. Liam could never be more thankful that the creep died.

“A girl died. This huge guy snapped her neck for no reason, they weren’t even sparring”

“Who’s the guy?” his alarms fired. Not another fucking Jack’ Barlowe in the quadrant.

Sloane shrugged “nobody knows, your Sorrengail friend stabbed him to death”

Liam sat up rigidly and his eyes widened “Come again?”

With every word coming out of Sloane’s mouth, his panic swirled and his heart struggled to beat properly. The sentences were echoing in his head, rattling around and starting the whirlwind of thoughts he felt could never be stopped.

“Snapped the girl’s neck just for pretending to be Sorrengail”

They came after her first. Colonel Aetos came after Violet before anyone else. Liam wasn’t there, he wasn’t there. She almost died. He wasn’t there

“He was after her specifically I guess”

Flashes of Jack’s cruel face and laughter invaded his thoughts, promising words of death and suffering. Blood on the mat after Violet had been challenged, something Liam failed to protect her from.

“He knocked her on the ground like a rag doll. Almost choked her to death too”

The blue flames of Resson breaking through his thoughts, the exact picture of Violet as she fought a venin. The stab. The horrifying sight of her falling off Tairn. The sleep of death, the agonizing three days of uncertainty.

“I thought she was going to die, honestly”

She almost did. Liam was not there.

Liam.

He was not there.

“Liam!”

He hissed in discomfort, looking at his forearm in offense. There was red spotting all over and a stinging sensation. Liam looked up, noticing Sloane’s confused gaze.

“For Amari’s sake, finally” she sounded exasperated “you were…whatever the fuck was that”

The thoughts were still there, but he could finally see the room again, breathing air that wasn’t searing hot. The mage lights a warm color dissipating the cool tone of his illusions.

“Sorry. I just…” he took a deep breath “I didn’t think they were going to do this so soon”

Which was stupid to think otherwise.

“Do what, Liam?”

He was so focused on Sloane that he must have missed it, but Violet did not. The orange dragon had calculated enough for her to notice where the stream of fire would land. Their squad…their wing. It was not just a rogue and unstable dragon. Liam still remembered the strange sensation of malice.

“Do you think Solas was ordered to take us out?”

Imogen, Violet, him, Ciaran. They were all nearby. Four out of nine. Five since Sloane would be an unfortunate tag along kill.

“I believe so. Tairn believes the same”

“Liam, what are you talking about?” Sloane continued “don’t make me slap you again!”

Violet wasn’t the first. Her near assassination was not the first sign. They were supposed to die on conscription, by a not so accidental fire, with little care for innocent people nearby. Liam could live with being targeted, he had been for years, but an entire section could have been wiped out just because they were in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

“Sloane” he mumbled, kneeling on the ground near her and grabbing her by the shoulders “listen to me and listen well”

“You’re acting really really weird”

He ignored her words, practically vomiting all the events leading to Resson and the battle itself. The return to Basgiath. The strange sanctions all the apostasy children were suffering in the quadrant. Everything.

“Be extra vigilant. You were not in Resson, but that doesn’t mean they can’t hurt you. This thing here” he tapped her relic “is enough to kill us. I’ll do my best to protect you, but never let your guard down!”

Sloane looked at him wide eyed “What about you? Who’s protecting you?”

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine”

“Of course, your really bad track record of almost dying is very reassuring” she said through gritted teeth

“Hey” he reached to grab her face between his hands and she did not dodge this time “I have people who got my back. Imogen and Vi, my squad. I’m gonna be fine, Ane”

At least he hoped so.

***

It was late when a knock sounded on Liam’s door.

He dropped the practically untouched wood with a sigh, not sure it was even worth trying to carve anything, and opened the door with a dagger in hand. No assassin would knock, but you never knew.

“Hey” Violet smiled on the other side.

Liam opened his door widely and pulled her through his wards by her uninjured arm.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

Thankfully, the caked blood had disappeared from her skin and hair. Liam almost had a heart attack when he went looking for Violet before dinner and found the gruesome sight. Her blood or not, it was still a dreadful sight.

“Still a bit dizzy, but I just need rest” she replied.

“You sure?”

Violet nodded firmly, though the movement seemed to awaken a wave of nausea and Liam quickly guided her to his chair by the elbow.

“How are you?” she asked “I wanted to check on you tomorrow but I don’t think I could”

“I’m okay” he said, though he was not sure of what ‘okay’ even meant anymore. He was not hyperventilating or dissociating back to Resson, that ought to count for something.

“Come on, I know how awful mending can be. Are you in pain? I think I can find another vial somewhere in my drawers”

“Just an ache, better than…well, better than burns” Liam replied, his stomach still not faring well the earlier torturous session of mending “and Rhiannon got me some analgesic vials after dinner, don’t worry”

Violet nodded slightly, trying not to trigger another nausea.

“Did you go to the healers?” Liam asked, pointing to her arm “there is a risk of infection”

“You did not seem to care about that earlier” Deigh interrupted and Liam scoffed internally, raising his shields.

Violet rolled her eyes “I went there yesterday and brought back some burn ointment. Xaden changed the bandages for me and it’s all fine”

“He left already?” Liam asked.

She hummed, her gaze even more tired at the mention “Bodhi called him. They did not want my help”

Liam huffed in agreement, sitting on the bed “Join the team”

They remained silent, ruminating on the shared distaste for being left behind. Liam understood why they were being kept out of the loop, but it did not make things less aggravating. So many issues and possibilities and all they could do was…survive their second year? As if the threat beyond the borders was not rapidly approaching in less than that.

“Were you able to catch up with Sloane a little bit?” Violet asked, changing the subject.

“Not much. I spent a lot of time passed out, but we spoke. Also, sorry for Sloane, she’s…”

“It’s okay, Liam” Violet interrupted “She has the right to be mad at me”

“It’s still unfair. You’ve helped me - and her - a lot” Liam insisted “I promise she’ll come around”

“I don’t mind if she doesn’t. What matters is that she’s safe and here with you. I’ll try my best to keep it that way”

“Focus on yourself. You almost died today, Vi” Liam struggled to say.

“So did you yesterday” she shrugged “Solas targeting our entire section was more than an accident. Me, you, imogen and…”

“I know” he replied “we really are fucked”

Violet let a humorless chuckle escape “I guess so”

He approached the chair, leaning on the table and clasping her shoulder softy “They lost the opportunity to kill multiple of us on conscription day. We got each other, Vi. The assassins can be dealt with if we look out for one another. The nine of us may even survive-”

“Eight” Violet whispered.

Liam stopped speaking, confusion settling in his mind for seconds for logic to catch up to the word, though denial overwhelmed it stronger than ever “What do you mean?”

Violet put her hand over his, squeezing it. Her eyes were nothing but exhaustion, her face defeated in such an uncharacteristic way.

“Ciaran died yesterday”

****

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