#feels incredibly relevant to Solas and how he acts/thinks

[abyssalbathwater]

Haven’t seen much discussion on this but I think there’s a lot of potential in examining Solas through the lens of a war veteran struggling to re-adapt to civilian life. When you consider that he was put to war almost immediately following his ‘birth’ as an Elf, and that he spent an unfathomably long time embroiled in one conflict after another, it makes perfect sense that he wouldn’t know how to stop or how to adjust to a world he no longer recognizes. On top of which he would be dealing with severe PTSD at a time when psychiatry and the concept of mental health care is non-existent.

Just something I think about sometimes. Curious to hear if anyone else has thoughts on this.

[tila-bean]

Thoughts about the Regret Murals, Solas, the Inquisitor, and their relationship.

So I'm on my first Veilguard playthrough and I have so many feelings after unveiling (hehe) the regret murals in the Lighthouse. SO MANY FEELINGS.

Now, relevant context: It's my first playthrough. Yes, I know I just said that but I need you to understand this: IT'S MY FIRST PLAYTHROUGH. That means I don't know how the rest of the story goes and I don't care to know how it goes from any source that ISN'T the game because I'm avoiding spoilers like Neo dodged bullets on the Matrix. I just really needed to come here to share the full range of feelings I'm feeling. PLEASE DON'T SPOIL ME.

Also, because this is my FIRST PLAYTHROUGH and I don't know how the story goes from here, I might very well change my mind on the thoughts expressed here. I've already been warned that Act 3 will require tissues and perhaps a therapy session. I'm not encouraged by this, but also not surprised. It is a Bioware game after all: they love to destroy us emotionally with their incredible storytelling.

So first of all, the nature of Mythal and Solas's relationship shocked me. We knew from Inquisition that there were some feelings involved, at least from Solas to Mythal, but the depth of them impressed me. In Inquisition, it seemed like a sort of devotion, like a loyal servant's or a good friend's, but wow, it was so much more than that. I know the game tries to make it ambiguous or at the very least leave some amount of interpretation around it (Bellara with her "elves felt very deeply, it didn't have to be romantic", and Taash's "they were doing it!") But to me, it makes more sense to say they were in love. Who becomes flesh against your own judgment just because a friend asked? Who commits the murder of giant magical beings just for a friend? And who seals their old friends, breaking the world in the process, just to avenge another friend? It truly gives the impression that Solas loved Mythal both deeply and desperately, and a small moment tucked in there gave the impression that that love was not only corresponded but that they were even happy together for a while, at least before Mythal left to be part of the Evanuris. I also got the impression Solas loved Mythal more than Mythal loved him, but that could just be because it is his memories we're watching, not hers. From what small bites we get from Morrigan after the fact, making her unable to act against Solas even though both she and Mythal's fragment judge him for his actions, I do think she did. Sadly I can't really quantify how much she did love him and if it was as deep as what Solas felt for her. I do have to mention that I resent Mythal for a variety of reasons and that colors my judgment of her and her actions in all this, although that just might be jealousy speaking. My Dread Wolf! Mine! 😠

The whole Blight revelation was incredible. We knew for years that Mythal and Solas were once close to each other, and there were SO many theories behind Solas being a spirit and/or that other elves used to be spirits too thanks to Cole's dialogue snippets, but to learn that Solas and Mythal were responsible for the creation of the Blight? That they tranquiled the Titans and were the reason why dwarves are the way they are now? That the blight wasn't something that already existed and was found (and blamed on Andruil, usually!) but was the consequence of a desperate act to end a war, which in itself was caused by another fuck up when the elves came to be? Like damn. Really, damn. This memory was the one that shook me the most. And it was this memory that really helped me understand the character of Solas all that much more.

I can't hate him. I completely understand how others could hate him or continue to do so even more than before after learning all of this, but I can't. I just feel this horrible amount of pity for him. He took form under the worst circumstances and made decisions that wildly backfired on him, and I can't blame him for regretting it all and wanting to go back to being a simple spirit. My Inky would understand all of this after learning about it and have this tiny part of her tucked deep inside where, despite knowing how he feels and understanding why he does, shamefully be glad he did take form because she's grateful to have had the chance to meet someone like him.

Now, I can almost hear some of you: "What, she still loves him? After all that??"

YUP.

My Inky is someone who loves deeply. Their time together was short, their relationship even shorter, but it made a tremendous impact on her. To me, she's the type of person to not fall in love easily, but once she does, she's in it. Like really in it.

I didn't think of her as inexperienced (not that that's a bad thing anyway) but she didn't have any meaningful liaisons before the start of DA:I, so her falling for Solas so hard and fast was a very surprising and even terrifying event to her. She was secretly glad he asked for time to think after the Fade kiss, I headcanon, because she was just as confused as him, even if she was the one to take that first step between them. To me, they just clicked together in a way she hadn't ever experienced, and in the time they were together through all of the events of Inquisition, that bond deepened and deepened. She knew she wasn't getting the full picture from him, that there were things he hadn't told her. She patiently waited for him to open up and was devastated when their relationship ended as swiftly as it had started, not knowing even why. She's had a long time to think since then, busy handling the Inquisition through its last years and then later managing the chase to help change his mind. She's had the opportunity to build something new with someone else, but it didn't feel as right as what she had with Solas. And to her that meant it couldn't be as meaningful. Was she right? I don't know, but she chose not to pursue it. That was something she could live with and didn't regret.

I feel like all of these murals would have made Inky feel very similarly to me. She would have understood the man she loved way more than she ever did when he was in front of her, felt horrible for him and his circumstances, but at the same time, she unexpectedly felt something she didn't think she would: she'd feel small.

In the face of his deep love for Mythal and the actions he took for her, she'd feel small. Because here depicted is a man that, when he loved someone, he broke the world for her. And for her? For Inky? He couldn't even be honest, be it with his words or his actions. He never fully opened up to her, and was never fully vulnerable with her, even though she was for him. She'd have these horrible thoughts, after learning about the murals, that would say "You didn't mean anything to him." "You were a distraction, a momentary source of good feelings he hadn't felt for a while, but it was never truly love." "He loved Mythal. See what he did for her? He couldn't even do half of that for you while you were together." And that would break her, at least as much as she allowed herself while managing yet another darkspawn invasion in the South. It would devastate her to see how much of a blip she was in his life when, to her, he was everything. She'd chastise herself, there are more pressing matters to focus on after all, but that doubt, that possibility of being unimportant would catch up to her when she was alone.

Now, is that the truth of the matter? I don't know. I've gotten one, JUST ONE, miserable Solavellan crumb so far in the game (when meeting Inky for the first time in Minrathous) and I'm STARVING for more. Do I love my crumb? HELL YEAH I DO. Do I think it's worth the 10 years I've been waiting for it? No. GIVE ME MORE BIOWARE.

OMG SOLAS DID YOU ACTUALLY LOVE HER. DID YOU LOVE INKY.

Anywho, those are my thoughts so far. DAMN YOU, EGG 🍳

[squeaksquawks]

tell a lil bit more about your Hawke and your Inquisitor 👀👀

HELL YEAH LET'S GOOOO

I kind of uhhhhhhhh went WILD and wrote POSSIBLY TOO MUCH so!

Athena Hawke entered Kirkwall as a cheeky but kind like 20 year old and left Kirkwall as a shell of a person HAHA. She's a warrior, so she had Bethany by her side and they were INCREDIBLY close, so taking her to the Deep Roads and making her a warden (a choice she made in a panic without thinking of what Bethany wanted) genuinely haunted/still haunts her.

She has the...worst case of RBF and people avoid her on the street when in reality mentally she's like "What should I get for dinner. Chicken? No. I had that for lunch." and Varric absolutely ribs on her for it and calls her some variation of grouch/grouchy which she HATES.

She romanced Fenris and it was very much a love at first sight of seeing a mans heart torn out of his chest while Bethany was in the background like "Athena. No. NO." She tried really hard to be Cool About It but it just lead to her like, glaring at Fenris a lot and him being like "...?" because, again, horrible case of RBF. When he left in Act 2 she was like "of course, take all the time you need." and then burst into The Hanged Man 20 minutes later like "VARRRICCCCCCCCCCC" in like, TEARS LMAOOOO. Eventually she and Fenris settle down and she finds a lot of comfort in how blunt he is, and I like to think he finds comfort in the fact that she tries to stay kind despite her life circumstances.

She loves Varric, adores Merrill, and would (and literally nearly did) die for Isabela. She and Anders are very co-workers esque and she thinks Sebastian's a drag HAHA

Athena's big thing is that she thinks Literally Everything is her fault and she could have, should have, done better. It informs a lot of her choices and obviously does not lead to the healthiest of mindsets. She also resents the fuck out of being The Champion because she resents that all of a sudden she is in charge of things and how did this HAPPEN (a common thread in my protags in different ways LMAOOO)

I think post Kirkwall she and Fenris shack up for a minute before they get back out there. I like to think all my protags take vacations after their games LMAOO THEY DESERVE IT. She also cuts her hair because it makes her think of her mom and is still keeping it short by the time Inquisition happens.

By the time Inquisition happens, because I love spice and sadness, she and Fenris are not necessarily broken up but they are a bit strained because of Hawke's tendency to throw herself into things even when they could be deadly, which Fenris would Prefer She Stop Doing.

Also, lil fun fact - Athena has a lot of patience and tries to stick to "no unnecessary murdering" until she snaps and goes wild. She IS a reaver, so. Circe........I do not have favorites, but, hypothetically, if I did, Circe Lavellan may possibly be my favorite.

She has the strongest personality out of her, Hera and Athena which was REAL FUN. She DOES NOT WANT TO BE INQUISITOR which is a very fun journey because by the time Samson tells her something isn't her business, I got really into playing as her and OUT LOUD, IN DISCORD, AS HER, I said "I am the INQUISITOR. EVERYTHING IS MY BUSINESS." When anyone would ask her if she thought she was the herald/believed in Andraste she HARDCORE AVOIDED THE QUESTION, just like she hardcore avoided questions about her intentions for the inquisiton after corypheus. (she did not know and she very much was like "we should be focusing on SAVING THE WORLD FIRST, HOW IS THAT NOT YOUR FIRST PRIORITY)

Circe was..............very popular. The way Cullen was animated made it seem like he had a GIANT CRUSH ON HER which my entire discord had a field day with, because for Circe humans are Always On Strike Two. (at some point there was a scene happening and Circe left the room and Cullen watched and my friend went "I THINK HE JUST CHECKED OUT HER ASS I AM NOT KIDDING") This became funnier when Cullen's plan was what ultimately saved Clan Lavellan because she very much was like "I owe this human man a life debt. I hate it here." Solas took her on that whole fade date and she was like "ahaha yes, FRIEND, FRIEND WHOSE FRIENDSHIP I VALUE," and she and Blackwall had a whole Flirty Thing going on until Bull showed up, which really tells you about what Circe's tastes are LMAOOO.

Circe and Bull are..............they...........mean so much to me..........They very much have a murder pact ("If I go mad"/"If I become an abomination") that they openly joke about to horrify people but ultimately would not if possible/would be in great pain if they had to go through with it! Which is fun! Circe would find comfort in Bull being like, a Thoughts Free Zone for a bit and then she'd be like Unfortunately I Now Have Feelings For This Man. She'd be very embarrassed about it all until she finally fessed up and then they'd be DISGUSTING TOGETHER LMAOOOOO. Just UNBEARABLY CORNY. Also, Circe would absolutely let Bull throw her in battle, and since she's a Knight Enchanter it's all very fun and chaotic.

Side note: Cole is absolutely a little brother to her, she dotes on him like crazy and adores being with him. She gets very defensive of him and spends a good chunk of her free time with him, especially after he becomes human and she can track him down more easily

Circe also would become more and more anxious of losing her personhood, of everything she's done be for nothing, of being remembered as a concept and not a living breathing thing - i'm talking like full on panic attacks, unable to sleep, having to be calmed down about it. - ESPECIALLY after Ameridan. She tries to (somewhat) prioritize joy after that, finally visits Clan Lavellan after avoiding them for literal years (I played Descent and Hakkon after the main game to give the game a better sense of time passing before Tresspasser), ect.

By Tresspasser she is Fed Up, not sleeping, not eating, and also her arm is doing That Whole Thing concerning the fuck out of Bull LMAOOO. The ongoing joke was that Bull had DEFINITELY suggested cutting her arm off at multiple points in time, and when it actually happened it felt very monkey's paw HAHA. She definitely freaks out on Solas and is like oh I gotta KILL THIS GUY!! Also, because it feels relevant, she DID NOT LIKE MORRIGAN and drank from the well.

Also! Playlists. Everyone has a playlist! I use these while drawing to get me in the mindset so they're not in chronological order but here's Hawkes, Circes, and Heras which is the most work in progress since I just finished Origins and need to.....maybe take out the MULTIPLE songs about dying HAHAHA

EDIT: also because I played the games out of order and used the default world states for 2 and inquisition due to some Choices I made during Origins Circe is uhhhhhhh going to have either Fenris try to kill her or Hera and THAT'S GONNA BE FUN FOR HER

[corseque]

I wanted to publish/answer the asks I got because of the bullying thing because they made me emotional and I’m really grateful to you guys. like, genuinely, I was overwhelmed by the support that day, and I’m feeling 100x better about the whole thing now.

Anonymous said:

I’m so sorry you went through that! I haven’t had a tumblr in literal years but after TLJ came out I somehow found your blog through Pinterest and wound up creating a new one because I admired you so much and wanted to follow you lol. Keep doing what you’re doing, and thank you for being so cool and like a beacon of positivity

holy shit, this is such a nice message. ;_; I’m so happy you like my blog, and I hope you have fun. I actively work and concentrate on being positive when sometimes I might not want to be, and I’m not perfect, so I’m glad that it at least comes through in a noticeable way.

morphinepudding said:

Confession: you're the only blog on this hellsite I've been following for years, since it seems we both love scar-faced, emotional, broken men with ominous masks and a soft spot for (not so) vulnerable little birds. I am a silent lurker outside of my art posting but know how much I appreciate your insight, your humor and your tags, and how I audibly squealed when you reblogged my latest piece since your posts were such an inspiration for it. Never let them bring you down.

this message made me burst into tears at my grandma’s house when I got it in my inbox. I adore your art so much, whenever I go to your page I have to like clutch at my heart with the emotions they give me. When I saw your latest piece, I was overwhelmed with like ‘oh my gosh, this is so relevant to my interests, how did they know???’ I genuinely felt like my heart was being read. My posts were an inspiration for it??? oh my god, I thought it was just because of Wayward Jedi’s videos or something and we were mutual fans of the theory ;______________; 

hahah, I’m tearing up again.. good to meet you after so many years

Anonymous said:

As someone whose not a reylo shipper I’ve always loved seeing your analyses of the scenes and what it means for the ship because it makes me happy to see you happy; to see thousand upon thousands of other fans happy. I like to do the same exact thing for my ships (like I’m a fan of finnrey) I can not stand those anti posts about reylo. Literally why on earth am I going to hate something that brings someone else joy and is not causing harm to anyone. I hope you continue loving what you love ♥️

This ask gives me so much hope. This is like, my goal, to just effing talk about stuff that makes me happy and draw people to me who like to talk about the things that make them happy. I actually love following blogs of people just talking about their interests, even if I know nothing about them. I’m glad my posts are a positive and not annoying to you, because I genuinely adore Finnrey. I think it’s literally only that I’m so married to certain extremely specific tropes that made me ship reylo more. And I’m just utterly annoyingly myopic about stuff until I feel like I’ve ‘figured it out.’

Anonymous said:

I love your Reylo metas!! It's a real shame that some in the tumblr Star Wars community are so closed minded and think it's cool to bash and make fun of viewpoints and interpretations that are different than theirs. Your posts are so well thought out and articulate. I am glad you are not deterred by the haters, and wish you well.

Thank you!! It was so fuckin bizarre to me because I don’t even mind being disagreed with. for a minute, I was almost like ‘why didn’t anyone I know tell me politely that I was writing foolishness?’ but then I realized it was all just middle schooler bullshit and bad takes. Thanks so much...

Anonymous said:

This is a fan who loves your blog and meta and interests!!! I’m sorry you have to deal with antis but I think you’ve really touched on something that I relate to in terms of the male characters I’m interested in as a heterosexual in theory but rarely in practice female. We are both interested in raw, emotional, flawed male characters and I think that’s just fine. Screw everyone else and do you! You’re fantastic. Sorry, this is a tired rambling late night ask haha

God, thank you. Like, this whole blog is me trying to figure out why I’m interested in these emotional male characters, especially in terms of my sexuality and gender, and I’m glad the wild stabs in the dark resonated with someone else in any way. “we are both interested in raw, emotional, flawed male characters and I think that’s just fine” BEAUTIFUL, I want ‘’and I think that’s just fine’’ tattooed on me. I feel like I’m constantly thinking ‘it’s not fine’ because this site’s culture gets to me sometimes, and having to shake myself out of it. This site is hell on earth.

Anonymous said:

I saw that stalking post & the bullying post. Someone I used to chat w/ (I left the Solas fandom & Tumblr about 2 years ago) was completely delighted by it & participated.For what it's worth,she is an incredibly miserable person who hates herself, her body, her family, her boyfriend.Everything/everyone. It's nothing about you, it's these sad people who would rather tear others down because it's easier than building themselves into better people who make genuine & sincere connections w/ others.

It makes me uncomfortable to think that someone who knew me from Dragon Age was enjoying this, cause like... man. That’s worse. I thought I had a relatively good reputation, so that’s kind of sad to me. I guess I’m falling for the fallacy of thinking ‘if I behave well enough x won’t happen to me.’ I don’t understand the draw of being so negative, but I hope someday they can self-reflect and figure stuff out.

Anonymous said:

what i don't understand about a lot of antis on this site is why they have to be so mean. look, i have characters i dislike and ships i dislike and if someone asks me about why i dislike them i'll tell them but otherwise why would i actively seek out things i don't like? i stay away. instead people have to mock and act like child bullies. we are just trying to enjoy, they are the miserable ones. don't need to publish this but just want you to know there are people that appreciate you.

Thanks, I have no idea either. I think getting worried and interfering about what other women are doing or interested in sexually is a thing people start doing when they feel powerless in other parts of their lives. The whole thing is pretty transparent because you just don’t see this kind of patronizing moral policing on websites populated by mostly men. Anyway, it always feels nice to have a Holy Crusade to believe in, and feel like you’re protecting children and doing good. Even if you’re not doing anything productive, it still feels great and the rush of moral superiority is addictive.

Anonymous said:

i like the assertions from people that folks use too much freudian stuff in talking about analysis in film and talk about how it's discredited and, ok sure but if people took a few film theory classes they'd find themselves running into freudian theory an awful lot in the context of, well, most films and especially hollywood films. (this is about tlj specifically though)

Yeah, like, it’s deliberately used in symbolism in movies. Full stop. Nothing more to discuss.

reinaben said:

Hey, corseque, you rock and you were right! I'm so happy today I'm bouncing like Adam on that gif. I remember reading some of your posts tagged #shitty wizards after TFA and wondering maybe she likes Kylo Ren? because he is like the shittiest wizard ever. I was so happy when you started posting meta about Star Wars, I still am. Anyway, I'm sorry to bother you and I'm sorry that the antis were assholes. Have a nice day!

Kylo Ren is such a #shitty wizard and I have loved him from day one. It’s just that this website is such a bad one that I was convinced not to post about the boi. Part of the reason why I’ve been posting So Much in like a flood is like... I was censoring myself for 2 years, so there’s a lot to catch up on. Glad you enjoyed my transition to Star Wars <3

[katalyna-rose]

Open Your Heart

From the kiss prompts! #19, kisses to distract the other person from whatever they were intently doing! It became... more... Blame @alifenzevsolasalways for this! She made me do it! She found him in the Fade, during the rarest of occurrences; he was not paying attention to his surroundings, allowing himself to drift in the currents of dreaming. It gave her the unique opportunity to weave his dream for him and convince him, for just a moment, that it was reality. Lyna knew that there was every chance that Solas would figure her out before she was able to learn anything or make any headway in her ultimate goal, yet she couldn’t turn away the opportunity. After all, it was not her goal to disrupt his plans, only to include herself in them. For this, she had to remind him what it was like to be with her, how good they were together if he only relaxed and allowed their relationship to blossom. The dream she wove included concepts from his own mind, things she had no knowledge of. It was the trickiest part, getting in to see what she would need without alerting him to her presence. Using a technique she’d learned by watching him, she somehow managed it and completed her dream weaving. The scene was set, Solas sitting at his desk in his hideout, an incredible crystal window just before him letting in the light from the moons and a mage light hovering at his elbow to let him continue working through the night. The papers he was hunched over were ones that currently sat on his desk, likely under his cheek as he slept. He did not notice the change when she dropped him into the dream and followed him in. “Making progress?” She asked, coming up behind him and resting her hands on his shoulders. It didn’t feel quite right, the material of his shirt subtly wrong in the Fade, but his muscles were smooth and strong and his skin was warm and supple. She began kneading his shoulders just because she could and heard him groan gratefully at her touch. He sat back, one hand reaching up to cover hers. “Very little,” he admitted wearily. She bent and kissed the top of his head. “It’s late,” she observed. He chuckled softly, just a little. “So it is,” he agreed, his face still turned away from her. She didn’t like that, needed to see him, so she curled a finger under his chin and turned his face towards her. Gently, as though she would scare him away with her touch, she kissed his brow. “I think it’s time for a break,” she whispered. When she pulled back, his eyes were closed and a soft smile curved his lips. Dark circles ringed his eyes and he seemed to have lost weight since she last saw him in waking, but he was still exactly as beautiful as ever. “Won’t you come to bed with me?” He sighed and opened his eyes, and she pouted at him when she read the refusal in his gaze. “Vhenan, I have much to do before morning,” he told her. She slid into his lap, straddling his legs and keeping him from his desk. He stared at her, bemused and slightly confused by her boldness. “You know this is important, my love.” But his voice was growing low, rougher, as she lowered herself so that her hips hovered just over his, her heat radiating to him. “Of course it’s important,” she murmured, staring at his lips. “But surely you can take just an hour or two off?” He chuckled, but the sound was dark, tempting, tempted. “Would such a short amount of time truly satisfy you, vhenan?” he asked her, amused. She pouted again. “For now,” she pressed. She gave him no more time in which to protest and claimed his lips with hers. He gasped slightly, and she did, too, the taste of him exactly as she remembered it. He tasted of sugar and wine and clean water, and she eagerly plunged her tongue into his mouth. He chuckled again as he allowed the kiss, his hands encircling her waist as hers encircled his shoulders. She kept herself firmly in his lap as he attempted to gently remove her, refusing to budge. “Vhenan,” he tried to protest, but she swallowed the sounds. He tried again to speak, to tell her to let him work, but she only kissed him harder. He could have removed her easily, could have picked her up and tossed her from the chair, and they both knew it. It wasn’t a question of strength, as he was the physically stronger; it was a question of will, if his desire to deter her was greater than her desire to stay and kiss him until he lost himself in her. It had always been this between then, his strength to act against her will to convince him. In the end, his only true defense against her had been to leave her vicinity before her will could overcome his once more. She kissed him like she was dying, or he was, like it was their last moment together. She kissed him in all the ways she knew he liked best, her fingers tracing the long points of his ears and her nails scratching lightly at his scalp until he shivered beneath her. She kissed him to remind him of how good he could feel if he let her in. His will bent to hers again, and she’d known it would if she could only have the opportunity, and he kissed her back just as thoroughly. His hands on her hips stopped attempting to push her away and instead pulled her closer. He pressed her down on his lap until his erection rested between her legs, hard and hot between them. He shuddered as it made contact with the damp heat seeping through her smalls. She pulled back, reluctantly, only when she was struggling for breath. She rested her forehead against his for a moment, pressing lazy kisses against his cheeks as he held her. He was trembling slightly and she wondered why, if he sensed that something was off yet. “Open your heart to me, Solas,” she whispered, ghosting her lips across his. He shivered. “Let me in and I will never abandon you.” He froze, and she knew. He’d figured her out. She quickly rummaged through the dream, taking all the relevant information from it that she could. He would expel her from his mind soon. “You cannot be here,” he murmured, his hands tightening almost painfully on her waist. “How..?” His fingers became claws on her skin as he realized. “This is the Fade.” She smiles sadly, not betraying the pain of his grip. “It is a rare day when you are the one who has figure that out, rather than me.” His expression of surprise became a grimace of pain as he clutched her ever tighter. “Is it you?” he whispered desperately. “Vhenan, is this you? Or merely an illusion? A spirit?” “Oh, Solas,” she breathed against him, melting into his arms. “You know it is me. You would have figured out where you were much faster otherwise.” “But why?” She shook her head slowly. “You know why, vhenan,” she told him softly. “Let me into your heart, Solas. Come home to me.” His pained expression became agonized as he forced his fingers to release her. He seemed to age ten years for every inch of distance he forced himself to put between them. “I cannot,” he said, sounding as though he we’re sentencing himself to death with those words. “I cannot bring you into this. It is not…” He stopped and drew a deep, shaking breath. “I cannot,” he said again, and she felt him begin to push her out of his mind, away from his dream, out of the Fade altogether. She fought him, but she knew he was the stronger Dreamer. She could delay only a few seconds, long enough for one last vow. “Var lath vir suledin. I will find you, Solas.” His sharp intake of breath followed her into waking.