#feewrites: in fine

[feewrites]

in fine (iv.)

fandom: naruto characters/pairings: sasusaku summary: sakura works and waits, and time passes a/n: i. ii. iii.

The little girl in prison who in fact is not so little brings news of Sasuke on a warm day in March.

In the comfort of her apartment, Sakura eats her take-out yakisoba and lets her mind wander; yesterday’s events are still fresh into her brain. She remembers Chino’s tale, the way she speaks of Sasuke, a mixture of envy and admiration, the knowing glances, the smiles she had exchanged with Naruto every now and then because this is about Sasuke, and the smile the girl gave them both when she finished her story.

It is gratitude, Sakura has seen it enough to recognize it. Families and close friends of patients have this same look.

There are moments in Chino’s story that make her smile because she thinks, ah, this is so him, and there are other moments when her stomach turns in knots and her throat goes dry because the war may have ended, but the world is still a cruel and unfair place. Mostly though, Sakura’s heart clutches in a pleasant way.

Because Sasuke is using his power to protect and help others.

It does make her happy to know that his journey makes him see the world differently and it tugs at her heartstrings too, because she wished she could be with him.

She knows he is away because he wants to discover the world with a new set of eyes, and she is also aware he stays away from the village because he feels he is a threat to Konoha, to them—he was an international criminal, is the only member left of the Uchiha clan and the unique owner of the sharingan and rinnegan. His mere existence is harmful to those close to him.

Sakura knows this. After all, she has experienced this firsthand a year ago and maybe, she muses, that event has consolidated his belief to stay away. Still, he should know by now—he should know he is worth it.

Sakura sets down her chopsticks upon the empty take-out box and lets out a small yawn, stretching out her arms to relieve the tension on her shoulders and on her back. She perches her chin on the palm of her hand, humming softly as she gazes distractedly through the window. The trees in her street are green with young leaves and the buds are waiting for the sun to kiss them.

Spring is coming and Sakura wonders when he will come back.

.

.

The familiar flaps of wings slice the cold air and the sound prompts Sakura to look up at the sky and there it is—her green eyes widen for a second when she realizes Sasuke’s hawk is whirling above her, ready to land so she extends her arm, and the king of birds comes down on the offered limb.

It is highly unusual, Sakura thinks as she scratches the hawk’s head with her index and the animal leans into her touch, seeking more. Sasuke has always sent his hawk to the Hokage’s office whether his messages are personal or not, and Kakashi always passed down the very few letters that were destined to either her or Naruto. Sakura is a little wary of the content of his message but does not presume the worst because Sasuke is one of the strongest ninja she knows.

He has to be all right. It is Sasuke, after all.

When the note is secured in her hand, Sakura stretches out her arm and the hawk, regal and noble, spreads out its wings and flies away.

As she reads his message, the color of her cheeks deepen into a deep red because his note reminds her that even away, he can make her heart beat faster.

I’m coming back.

.

.

[feewrites]

in fine (ii.)

fandom: naruto characters/pairings: sasusaku summary: sakura works and waits, and time passes a/n: i. 

Winter comes slowly, and the first snow marks Sasuke’s return.

His return is unexpected but warmly received. What surprises her even more is that he came to pick her up at the hospital—Sasuke’s return falls right in time for the team’s monthly get-together at Ichiraku. Sakura does not question his chivalrous attitude as she presumes Kakashi or Naruto to have talked to him into picking her up at the end of her shift to surprise her.

And what a charming surprise it is.

He is only here for two days, he tells her when she asks him. Sakura is disappointed but smiles nonetheless; having him for a few days before the new year is an agreeable present anyway.

As they walk together to join the rest of the team at Naruto’s favorite restaurant, Sakura glances at him every now and then. He has grown taller since the last time she saw him. He is a head taller than she is, it appears. His hair has grown too, his bangs covering his left eye. As for his body… His black cloak covers his entire being.

She frowns.

“Have you been injured lately?” Sakura asks. “How’s your arm?”

She should have asked these questions earlier but she has been too caught up with his unexpected appearance to question his health.

“No,” he replies. “I’m good. My arm’s okay, there’s no phantom pain.”

Sakura is not entirely satisfied with the answer, but acquiesces because Sasuke is being honest and if he says he is fine, then she trusts him.

Still…

She bites her lip, hesitates for a moment, but eventually says what she has in mind.

“Tomorrow,” Sakura begins, and from the corner of her eye she sees Sasuke tilts his head, “Come see me at the hospital.”

“Sakura,” he breathes her name in a puff of air, but it implies so much more. “I’m fine,” he reiterates softly. “You’re busy and I don’t want to bother you.”

“You don’t bother me, Sasuke-kun, you never do,” she says kindly, feeling warm because in his reply there is consideration about her. “Knowing you, you probably haven’t seen any doctor since you left the village so let me check you up, please.” Sakura stops walking and looks up to meet his gaze, so black and so mesmerizing, and adds, “As your friend and medic-nin, I want to see you off knowing you’re in good health.”

Sasuke sizes her up and even though she wants to look away because she feels suddenly bashful, she holds his gaze because she has a point to prove. If at one point she had wanted to accompany him in his travels, she knows that right now if he were to ask her to join him, Sakura would not be able to say yes; she has too much responsibilities for the moment, this is the least she can do for him.

Whatever he sees in her eyes, Sasuke seems satisfied because he nods his head.

“Alright,” he finally concedes. “What time?”

Sakura beams at him. Her smile is so wide it almost hurts her cheeks.

“Hmm, maybe around nine a.m.? I’m less busy in the mornings.”

“Aa.”

Small steps, Sakura thinks as they remain walking. Side by side but never touching—but the distance seems shorter than before.

.

.

She is there to see him off three days later at the village’s front gates.

She hands him a lunchbox—omusubis with okaka—and tells him to be careful. Sasuke blinks, pleasantly surprised; that she has packed him a bento or that she knows his favorite food, he supposes it might a combination of both. It is oddly domestic and it reminds them both of a memory long ago where they had shared their lunch with Naruto.

And then, it is like a movie Sakura pauses at her favorite moment and keeps playing on a loop. It lasts only a few seconds but every second feels like an eternity and it goes like this: the man she loves lifts his hand up to her face, and in her eyes the gesture seems so slow, so normal before he taps her forehead with the tips of his fingers like a kiss from the wind, and a gentle, barely there smile lingers on the lips.

“Thank you,” he says genuinely.

The sun has yet to rise but she feels warmth spreading all over her body.

Anyone who sees her that day notices she looks radiant, and when she is asked why she is in such a good mood, Sakura smiles, her grassy eyes sparkling and she says, “It’s a secret.”

.

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[feewrites]

in fine (iii.)

fandom: naruto characters/pairings: sasusaku summary: sakura works and waits, and time passes a/n: i. ii. it’s getting longer so maybe six or seven parts, i think

Sometimes, she feels a little lonely.

Most of her friends are either married, engaged or dating someone seriously. It is true they are still quite young but a shinobi life is a dangerous one and while some devote themselves to this perilous life, most of them start a family when they reach adulthood and enjoy the promise of growing old together for as long as they can for tomorrow may never come.

So it is a mixture of jealousy, of longing that tugs at her heart when she sees stolen glances or hears communicative laughs. Sakura is happy for them, but it makes her feel a little forlorn.

Times goes by, but it is as if Sakura remains still, as tough she is frozen in time.

The very few letters Sasuke sporadically writes her do smother her solitude, just a little. The comfort those letters provide her is a bittersweet one because it reminds her that while he thinks of her, he is not here. It is a sweet ache that she can’t help but indulge in, but his absence does not hurt her life the first time he left the village; this time, it is a different kind of hurt—seeing her friends glow with happiness because they have a beloved one to lean on when things are hard while she works, mending and healing broken ones.

Envy hurts like a voice that can’t be heard.

But, at the end of the day, it is just selfishness thinking; she wished she could have that, to have what her friends have, to have the one she loves close to her.

Looking up at the cloudy sky from her office’s window, Sakura releases a deep sigh.

Gods, she misses him, so, so much and working at the hospital only intensifies the emptiness that fills her heart. She wants to see him, to talk to him, to hear his voice—she wants concrete to feel he is alive.

(Today is a bad day. She lost a patient.)

.

.

Sakura enters the Hokage’s office like a storm that has yet to commit any everlasting damage, turning a blind eye when she spots the man who is supposed to lead the village reading a smutty book during his work time.

“Give me a mission,” she says in a tone that suggests resistance is futile. “Solo, away from the village.”

Kakashi hides the book in the drawer, acknowledging the tacit agreement.

She needs adrenaline—the kind that smashes bones and ruptures veins.

.

.

She has completed the B-rank mission in eight days, which is two days more than Sakura initially planned. However, those eight days away from the village have felt liberating. It is as if she can breathe again.

She feels lighter and now, she is ready to go home.

“Welcome back, Sakura-chan,” Naruto says with a tired grin when she reaches the gates.

Dark circles hover under his eyes and from the way he is trying to maintain his posture, Sakura supposes he must have been waiting for her return at the front gates for a few hours, and barely got any sleep the night before. He is incredibly sweet, Sakura can’t help but think fondly, and maybe a little bit stupid, too.

“I’m back,” Sakura replies, reflecting the same tired smile on her face.

Because neither of them wants to go home for the moment—Naruto because he does not want to disturb his sleeping wife, Sakura because no one in her apartment is waiting for her—they sit down a bench, the one that has always bound Team 7 together and let time slip away.

The silence that settles upon them is a comfortable one as the day breaks above them. The first ray of light kisses her skin, and with Naruto besides her whose body heat and chakra wrap her like a warm blanket, the morning breeze of a winter day is an agreeable one. It has been a long time since they spent time alone together as they are both engaged in their own life, buried in their own occupation. They are so young, barely twenty and they already have so much responsibility, so many people that depend on them. In a way, Sakura has missed him too and she appreciates the fact that despite his busy schedule, he has made time to welcome her back in the village.

And when it comes to her feelings, Naruto has always been a good listener.

“I was in the north,” Sakura finally speaks, her voice breaking the silence. “I didn’t see Sasuke-kun. I didn’t expect to, you know, because it wasn’t like I was actively looking for him but I hoped I’d come across him so… I’m a bit disappointed, I guess.”

To her surprise, Naruto wraps his arm around her shoulders and closes the distance between them. The gesture holds no romantic connotation though; it is platonic, friendly and Sakura realizes this is what she should have sought that day—while breaking bones and ravaging lands made her feel good and kept her in shape, the comradeship comfort, the sibling reassurance provides her with something more precious.

Ataraxia.

“I miss the bastard, too.”

Sakura leans her head on his shoulder and closes her eyes.

It is a long overdue respite.

.

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[feewrites]

in fine (i.)

fandom: naruto characters/pairings: sasusaku summary: sakura works and waits, and time passes a/n: very short story divided in three or four parts, not sure yet. will post on ao3 as oneshot when completed

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Sakura exhales deeply. September is a calm month but peace knows no rest. Almost three years after the war, everything seems at peace, but Sakura knows, it is only on the surface. Everyone has a scar or two or more; some are carved into the skin while others burn in the mind, and only ashes are left.

.

.

Their hesitant smiles, their joyful laughs; the children at the clinic are less reserved, less plagued with nightmares and they look happier. As they sit on a bench watching them playing with a ball or ninjas and daimyos, Naruto thanks her, tells her had the clinic existed when they were kids, he would not have felt lonely at all.

He would have felt loved, he continues, taken care of, and Naruto believes wherever he is, Sasuke is grateful too.

Sakura’s stomach knots and she wants to cry. His words mean the world to her, it warms and breaks her heart at the same time. It shows the unfairness of his past, of Sasuke’s. Team 7 is a dysfunctional family and sometimes, Sakura wonders—but what ifs and whatnots are unhealthy thoughts because they lead nowhere.

In the end, Sakura wouldn’t have it any other way. They are her boys and she could not save them. Instead, they saved each other and she saves others because she can, because this is what she is.

She is no goddess, does not host a beast inside her flesh or holds the world by her retinas; she is only human, after all.

Her fists may destroy the earth, but her palms heal flesh.

Sakura prays it is enough.

.

.

“Why do you love Sasuke-kun, Forehead?”

The question Ino asked genuinely, with no malice when they were on their lunchbreak still rings in her head two days later. Sakura couldn’t answer her, pathetically stumbled with words and Ino just laughed and quickly changed the topic because it obviously flustered her.

Scrolls and charts scattered on her desk, Sakura still can’t find the answer.

She is twelve no more and while Sasuke is aesthetically pleasing to look at, with that raven hair and ivory skin, Sakura is not shallow anymore to find appreciation in one’s physique only. She had been amazed by his talent in their younger days, but now they are all incredible in their own way and while Sakura acknowledges his power with lucidity, she also takes pride in her own, nurtured with her blood, her sweat and her tears.

In retrospect, he has been rude to her plenty of times before and after he left the village. She has also seen his cruelty firsthand and has even been a victim of his—but she can’t really blame him for that since she has tried to kill him too. The genjutsu he put her under during the war still leaves a bad taste on her mouth. She does not blame him for she understands the purpose, but that does not mean she has to like it.

And despite everything, Sakura never forgets that he is incredibly kind, too.

It was just a crush at first. Silly and childish, Sakura does not deny that but somehow, she has grown to love him deeply and after all these years, she still loves him; Naruto and Kakashi have never stopped loving him, too.

Still, she wonders as she looks up at the sky—blue like Naruto’s eyes, clear and bright, she loves him, nothing will ever change that. Having no concrete answer to Ino’s question is not what upsets her.

The question itself unsettles her.

.

.

Life goes on but she does not forget.

She merely puts the thought away.

She has work to do.

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