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keicordelle · 8 days ago

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Chapter 26, Mundanity Spent Together, is up! I can't believe it's been a little over 2 years since the first chapter was posted (and they've still only barely confessed their feelings).

When I was first thinking about this story, I figured it'd be 4 or 5 chapters of set-up and then into their first time. Alas, I can never shut up and now we're 50k words in and still no sex lol But hey, after the love confession last chapter, maybe we're getting somewhere with that

Read it on Ao3 at the link above, or check out the first chapter on Tumblr here.

The drag of the razor scraped at Thancred’s chin. A thoughtless task, but a necessary one, unless he wanted to relive his days in the wilderness after escaping the Lifestream. Which he did not, particularly.

Urianger's beard was always nice though. He kept good care of it — far better than Thancred did maintaining his own appearance, and all he had to do was run a razor over the entirety of his lower face. Urianger took the time to shape his and trim it, making sure it stayed exactly how he wanted it at all times. Or mostly all the time, at least.

Thancred could always tell when he'd just freshly trimmed it, by feel if not by sight. The sharp scratch of newly cut hair against his cheek would etch faint red marks against his jaw when he leaned in to kiss him, digging like nettles into his skin. It was always softer after a day or two, the coarse prickle smoothed out by time and by care, tickling at Thancred’s lips more than scratching them. There was probably a metaphor there, if he cared to look.

What would it be like to feel that hair pressed somewhere lower? Lips spread wide, coarse hair against his inner thighs as Urianger—

No. No, it was best if that thought stopped right there. This wasn't really the time or the place for that line of thinking. Having a razor pressed to his throat was not the time to get that distracted. And... It was one thing to fantasize about Urianger casually, when he was nothing more than Thancred’s exceptionally sexy friend who he happened to be living with. Which, yeah, okay, that wasn't really the best thing to be doing either. He could readily admit that.

But it was a whole other ball park to be fantasizing about Urianger, his ... boyfriend? What did he even want to be called? Partner? Not lover, surely not lover. For all that Thancred admitted to loving him, there were still things a lover did that were off the table between the two of them.

Or at least, Thancred assumed they were off the table. He certainly hadn't asked. And he wasn't about to. Coming from someone like him, that sort of question would just sound demanding, like he expected something from Urianger.

And he didn't. That is, it would be nice, sure. Thancred had spent far too much time spilling himself to the mental image of Urianger to deny that much. But Urianger had never really been interested in that sort of thing, as far as he could tell. He'd never excused himself when Thancred talked about sex, back in the day, but at best Urianger had poked fun at him for it, and for the most part he'd just ignored it entirely. Thancred wasn't even sure if he ever thought about sex on his own.

And besides, they were still figuring out this new shift in their relationship. That was complicated enough; no need to make it worse by introducing something like that into the mix. No, this was fine. Even if he never wanted to do it, Thancred could live with that. Probably. He was pretty sure.

Love was weird like that. It wasn’t like he thought of himself as a particularly selfish person before, but Thancred found himself willing to make sacrifices and to make promises he wasn’t entirely sure he could keep for Urianger’s sake. He was still here, after all.

The click of the door as it opened was more starting than it should have been. Urianger stood in the doorway as if summoned by his thoughts, looking dashing and handsome and ready for a bath. Clothed still, thank the Twelve.

"Ah, pardon mine intrusion," he said, shifting back as if to leave.

Thancred shrugged. "It's fine, I don't mind. I'll be another couple minutes, but you're welcome to run the bath while I finish."

Urianger hesitated another moment in the entrance, eyes shifting from Thancred to the bathtub before acquiescing. His footsteps were soft as he entered, but he didn't make it all the way to the tub before he paused again, hesitating. Thancred met his eyes in the mirror, brow lifted. "Everything okay?"

"Wouldst thou care for mine assistance in shaving?"

Thancred blinked at him. "Huh? No, I think I've got a handle on it." If it were anyone else, he'd think they were insulting him, but that wasn't Urianger's style.

But it sure looked like he'd missed something. Urianger's face shuttered, a placid little smile almost hiding the somber downturn to his eyes. "Ah. Of course. In that case, allow me to leave thee to thy task." He took a step back, bath abandoned in favor of a quick getaway.

Evidently Thancred had said something wrong. And it looked like he had about three seconds to figure out what it was before this situation got a whole lot more difficult to apologize for. Clearly Urianger’s offer of help had meant more to him than it had to Thancred. He wanted to help him shave. But why?

Did it matter?

"Urianger," Thancred said before he could scurry away. That he didn't jolt in surprise or dejection was probably a good sign. "If you want to help, then that would be..." Fine? Acceptable? Nice? "Welcome."

"Truly?"

Oh yes, this definitely meant more to Urianger than it did to him.

But that was what a relationship was, wasn't it? Spending your days puzzling out another person in all their similarities and their differences, just because you cared enough to want to know. Though Thancred was pretty sure he could spend the rest of his days trying to figure out how Urianger's brain worked and never be any close to understanding.

Then again, he hardly needed to know Urianger’s every thought and motivation, did he? He could stand next to him washing dishes and match his movements without ever having to speak. He could fight with Urianger at his back and never have to contemplate where he would be standing or what his next course of action would be. He could share a bed with him and even in sleep know just how best to mould himself around him. Was that what it meant to be in love?

"Yeah. Come here."

Urianger took the razor Thancred held out to him, and his grip was steady on the handle. No less sure than Thancred’s had been. Surer, maybe, if only for the small (genuine) smile that curved his lips as he examined the blade for nicks before laying it against Thancred’s jaw. "Hold still."

Thancred wasn't going anywhere.

Urianger’s free hand was gentle against his face, cupping as much as bracing as he dragged the razor down his skin. There was an air of peace about him as he took to the task that had been absent moments ago — that was usually absent, even in his regular day to day activities. His eyes were as soft as his touch, thoroughly focused on the skate of the razor against Thancred’s jaw.

Ah. So this was love too, huh.

It really was everywhere, once he bothered to look. Every moment with Urianger was an affirmation of affection. Not just the grand gestures of salvation or romance, but in the quiet moments in between, too.

Of course. Wasn't that how he’d fallen for him?

It would take time, Thancred was sure, to learn how Urianger loved. It would take time to learn how he loved. It wasn't anything like the novels had described it; he didn't have any sort of guidebook to lead him.

But then, he didn't really need one, did he. So long as he was with Urianger, he was happy to learn.

The thoughtless task Thancred had found so boring became soothing beneath Urianger's careful hands. Every stroke of the razor was precise and gentle. He took far more care than Thancred could ever be bothered with, ensuring the blade didn't tug or scratch at his skin and that no hair went untouched. Was this the level of attention he afforded himself when he shaved? Or was he being extra attentive because it was for Thancred?

That was a nice thought, somehow. Nicer than Thancred had expected. To be doted on, and loved, in this quiet, peaceful way. No words drifted between them, only the soft scratch, scratch, scratch of the razor against coarse hair. It was easy to lose track of time, and just enjoy the moment for what it was. Mundanity spent together.

It was almost startling when Urianger's voice finally rose, a simple, "Finished," lifting between them.

Urianger’s work was flawless, of course. Thancred didn't even need to look to know that. With the amount of diligence he'd granted the task, it would have been unthinkable for it to be anything less. Thancred’s face felt smoother than it had since his first chin hairs — and the lingering sensation of Urianger’s fingers against his cheek didn't hurt either. "I've never had anyone do that for me before. Thank you, Urianger."

His blush was all the response Thancred needed, soft and pink across his upper cheeks. He spoke anyway, his gentle gaze not on Thancred’s in the mirror but cast down onto his hair, no glass to refract the quiet affection in his eyes. "Full glad am I that it was to thy liking."

"Maybe..." Why did it feel so weird to ask? It was just a simple request. Thancred swallowed and tried again. "Maybe you could do it again sometime?"

The way Urianger's face brightened made it worth the awkwardness tying his tongue. "I would like that."

Right. Maybe just because Thancred could do something himself, didn't mean he shouldn't do it alongside someone he cared about instead.

He had a feeling that was a lesson he was going to have to learn more than once.

[Masterlist]

#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #thanuri #thancred #urianger #urithan #thancred waters #urianger augurelt #ffxiv fanfiction #first for everything #my writing #~k

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keicordelle · 2 months ago

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It's been a very long time coming, but finally, there's No Going Back with Chapter 25 of A First for Everything. Thancred finally figures out what love means to him. He's probably going to have to relearn that lesson a few times.

Read it on Ao3 at the link above, or check out the first chapter on Tumblr here.

While Urianger was far from an expert in matters of immunology, it seemed entirely illogical to get sick when he was so isolated from any sort of population center. Certainly it seemed unfair.

Unfortunately, logic and fevers were not known to be close compatriots.

"What are you doing out of bed?" There was a sharpness to Thancred's tone that Urianger was unused to hearing directed towards him. Worry furrowed Thancred’s brow as he gained his feet, making his way around the coffee table with its precarious stacks of books to come over to Urianger.

"I had need of..." What was it that he had needed? It had seemed important just a minute ago, but he could hardly think past the heavy fog that suffused his mind. "Need of— achoo!"

"You need to be in bed resting. Woah!" Thancred caught him when he stumbled, tripping on a loose floorboard (or perhaps his own feet). The cool press of his hand against Urianger’s brow drove his eyes open, and also prompted him to realize he'd closed them in the first place. "You're burning up! You're never going to get better if you don't get some rest, Urianger. Come on, let's get you back in bed and then I can get you some water and whatever else it was you thought you needed. And maybe a cool cloth for your forehead."

"Thou tendest to me so often.” The words canted a little bit to the side as Urianger said them — or maybe that was him, hanging awkwardly off of Thancred's shoulder. Thancred supported him so well, despite his stature. It was funny. He was short.

But dependable. Urianger’s weight proved of no bearing as Thancred guided him back to the bed.

"I'm starting to think if I didn't, you'd work yourself into an early grave." Thancred’s hands were cool on his skin as he eased him back down into the blankets — under them, pulling them high to tuck under his chin. "Stay there, I'm going to go get you some water."

"Water," Urianger repeated. The word sounded funny. "Beware the fuath."

The look Thancred gave him was more concerned than mirthful (and why shouldn't it be, the fuath were dangerous), but Urianger missed half of it anyway when his eyes fell shut. Thancred was back before he'd remembered to open them again, a damp cloth brushing against Urianger’s brow just like he'd promised.

"Mmmm..." It was cool and refreshing — not as pleasant as when Thancred drew it away to press the back of his hand to Urianger’s face, but nice. Definitely less nice than his lips, though. It would be nice to feel Thancred’s lips on his brow instead.

His kiss was not forthcoming. Instead, his hands found Urianger’s sides, Thancred’s soft voice in his ear telling him, "Come on, sit up for just a minute," as he eased Urianger up to prop on the pillows. Urianger opened his eyes again (he really had to stop letting them close, he was missing Thancred’s expressions, and they were very winsome so that was a true shame) to find Thancred watching him with the utmost tenderness. Concern still shaded his expression, but it was the care that shone through, bright and loving and beautiful.

The edge of a glass touched Urianger’s lip, Thancred's mellow voice coaxing him to drink. He did, swallowing around the steel shards that lanced his throat, and the cool sluice of water was soothing despite the discomfort. "...'y thanks."

Thancred smiled, his hand rising to card fingers through Urianger’s sweaty hair. "You're welcome. Now come on, lie back down and go back to sleep. The rest of the world can wait."

Yes, it always seemed like it could when he was with Thancred. He let Thancred help him back into the covers, his eyes already drooping shut by the time he felt Thancred’s lips finally press to the heated skin of his brow. "Stay with me?"

He hadn't really meant to say it, only to think it, but before he had quite realized the words had slipped out, Thancred's soft, "Alright," greeted his ears. Footsteps, then the dip of the bed as he slipped in next to him.

Slowly, a little painfully, Urianger rolled over to curl into him, one arm slung around his waist. He snuggled in close, face pressed to Thancred’s side so he could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest against his forehead. A small noise from him and a minor adjustment, and then Thancred’s shirt was stripped free so Urianger could press his head straight to the cool surface of his skin, soothing his body as much as his mind.

"Thanks..." Urianger murmured into his side. The word was like syrup, sweet on his tongue and thick in his brain. Heavy? Maybe it was heavy in his brain.

Thancred was heavy in his brain. He always was. Always there, always present. Always kind. Urianger loved that about him. ".... love thee."

The rise of Thancred's chest halted. His fingers paused against Urianger’s back where they'd been stroking, all motion suspended except the thunder of his heart. That picked up, a thumping ba-dum keeping time beneath Urianger’s cheek.

Then Thancred choked out a laugh like a cough. Was he catching Urianger’s cold? "Ahaha, I'm happy to take care of you, Urianger. No need to get all sentimental on me."

"Mmm.... it’s the truth. Thou art ruler of my heart. I love thee, Thancred..." The words trailed off as sleep finally took him, his body falling limp in the safety of the blankets.

And leaving Thancred holding his breath next to him, staring down at the sleeping form of his.... friend-turned-more, trying to decide what to make of that. It didn't mean anything, right? Urianger had been delirious. He was just trying to thank Thancred for his support, that was all. He shouldn't read too much into it.

Besides, he'd probably forget about it by the time Urianger felt better anyway.

He did not, in fact, forget. In fact, it was all he could think about, and had been for the last 3 days 7 hours and 49 minutes. Approximately.

What had that meant? Had it meant anything? Was he overthinking it? Urianger loved him. Or said he did, at least. But he'd just been trying to thank him for taking care of him, right? And he'd been delirious with his fever. You couldn't trust the words of a sick man, could you?

And besides, of course Urianger loved him. They'd been friends for a long time. It didn't have to mean anything romantic. After all, love to Urianger was....

What was love to Urianger? It wasn't the same as love to Thancred, he was pretty sure about that. Urianger was a pretty romantic guy, in general, and Thancred was... very much not. He didn't really think about that sort of thing. Or at least, he never had before. He had loved Minfilia, and he loved his friends, and Louisoix, but he certainly wouldn't have deliriously proclaimed that to them while he was sick. Or at all, probably.

Would Urianger have said that if he hadn't been feverish? Probably not. He hadn't said anything like it so far — and even now that he was feeling better, he hadn't made any sort of comment about it. Did he even remember? Did Thancred want him to?

Yes. That was the only question swirling around in his mind that had an easy answer. Yes, he wanted Urianger to remember. He wanted to know if he really meant it. He wanted to know if Urianger really loved him as— as more than a friend.

He wanted to know if what he felt, if this warmth that fluttered through his chest every time he laid eyes on him, was what Urianger felt too.

Thancred loved him. He loved Urianger. He barely even knew what that meant, but it had to be true. That had to be what this was, and why it felt so different. Why he was so comfortable with him, and why he felt so happy just sitting with him, or washing dishes next to him, or knowing he was at his back when he'd always preferred to travel alone. Why he didn't want to leave him. He was in love with Urianger.

It wasn't like the novels described it. It wasn't some sweeping moment that stole his breath away. He wasn't even sure when it had happened. Which made it a little bit harder to be sure it had happened in the first place. But... He didn't feel this way for Y'shtola, or for Tataru. It certainly wasn't the same as the love he'd held for Minfilia. As deep as that had been, as deep as that still was, it wasn't the same. Not lesser, not like he'd always been told it would be, but... different.

But did Urianger feel the same? Would he have made the same comment if it had been the Oracle of Light attending him instead of Thancred? If it had been Y'shtola?

If it had been Moenbryda?

No, that wasn't a helpful thought. Thancred knew Urianger had loved Moenbryda. Probably the same way Thancred loved him now. The same way he loved Thancred?

Did Urianger love him?

Seven hells, he couldn't take it anymore. He had to know. He had to ask. Had that really been a love confession? Or had it been a fever-driven lapse best forgotten?

And so, 3 days, 7 hours, and 49 minutes later (approximately), Thancred found myself sitting across from Urianger, long cold tea clenched between white-knuckled fingers as he asked, "Urianger, are you in love with me?"

He could maybe have picked his moment better. Urianger's new teacup nearly shattered like the first one when his grip loosened. Porcelain clinked hard against the table, tawny droplets splattering against the sofa's fabric. Urianger spluttered, choking on his own tongue and the mouthful of tea he'd just taken. Oops.

"What didst thou— Why art—" A cough, though Thancred couldn't tell if it was meant to clear tea from his lungs or just to cover his embarrassment. "That is a sudden question."

Thancred shifted awkwardly, trying to come up with some decent explanation for why he'd asked such a weighty question seemingly out of the blue.

Before he could even figure out what he ought to say, Urianger continued, his voice low and his face red, but no hint of uncertainty in either. "'Tis true, however. I have come to treasure thee dearly during this time together. To love thee."

He made it sound so easy. Like it was nothing to be afraid of or worry over. Like it was as simple as friendship, as sitting side by side with tea or cooking together over the stove.

And... It was, wasn't it? That's what this was. That was love. And even if the love Urianger felt for him wasn't quite the same as what he felt for Urianger... Did it matter? Thancred loved him. He loved Urianger. And right now, with Urianger sitting across from him and his hands fluttering awkwardly in his lap, he was more sure of that than he would ever have thought possible.

Urianger, of course, did not have such a clear view into the direction of his thoughts. "I do not expect thy sentiments to match mine own. That is— full glad would I be if they did. Indeed, few things would make me happier than to have found solace in thy companionship and thee in mine, in these trying times. And yet, if I have misread thine intentions and thou wishest nothing more than—"

It was simple, to cut him off. Simpler than Thancred could possibly have imagined to open his mouth and lay to rest Urianger’s worries. "I love you too."

Urianger blinked at him. It seemed for once, Thancred had actually managed to dumbfound him silent. His mouth opened, then closed. He settled for blinking again, wordlessly, before he finally managed to gather his wits enough to clear his throat. “Truly?”

“Truly.”

The sofa creaked as Urianger rose, sidestepping the coffee table to stand before him. One hand brushed against his cheek, caressing along the line of Thancred’s jaw to feather through his hair. “May I kiss thee?”

The chuckle that escaped him was as soft as the look in Urianger’s eyes. As soft as the warmth that pooled in Thancred’s chest and throbbed in time with his heart. There was nothing scary or uncomfortable about that warmth. “Please do.”

Urianger’s kiss was as gentle as sunlight, as expansive as the stars. It was everything Thancred had been missing, trapped there on the First, with the fate of two shards hanging on their heads. It was Limsan rum and Ul’dahn street food, it was old hideouts and older friends. It was the sea, and the sun, and the sand. It was love, pure and simple. Urianger took a complicated thing and distilled it down until it felt as easy as breathing, as easy as being with him, all those convoluted emotions and tangled anxieties banished in an instant.

“Pray say it once more,” Urianger said when they pulled back. It was almost a whisper. A request, not a plea.

“I love you, Urianger.”

The way Urianger smiled at that was worth all the time and stress it had taken to come to that realization. His entire face lit up, his lips curled like they’d forgotten how to frown, and his eyes seemed molten with the gentle warmth that filled them. It was serene. It was beautiful.

His answer ghosted against Thancred’s lips as he leaned in for another kiss. “And I thee.”

[Chapter 26] | [Masterlist]

#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #thanuri #thancred #urianger #urithan #thancred waters #urianger augurelt #ffxiv fanfiction #first for everything #my writing #~k

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