#for example i currently have it split into three chapters (subject to change while i figure out how to split it) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cheri-translates · 5 years ago

Text

[CN] Victor’s Understanding the Human World Date (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

Phone call between Victor and Goldman before the date: here

Candlelit Night Collection: Gavin // Kiro // Lucien

Trivia regarding the name of the date:

The date is called 遍阅人间色, which is loosely translated as “reading the colours of the human world”

This could be reference to a quote from 菜根谭 (Cai Gen Tan), a book written by a Ming Dynasty scholar and philosopher Hong Zichen

The full quote is: 阅遍人情, 始知疏狂之足贵; 备尝��味,方知淡泊之为真

A possible interpretation of it is: After experiencing all the things in the world, you will realise that ordinariness is the best

[ CHAPTER ONE ]

The date begins with MC, Anna and Kiki in the office, commenting on the work of her new intern (whose name is Wei Wei)

When the intern first started, her work was of horrifying quality. However, she has improved by leaps and bounds since then

The topic shifts to MC, and they comment that under Victor’s influence, she has become much more independent

MC receives an email from Victor at around 7pm telling her to amend parts of her proposal, so she stays behind

By the time she tidies up her materials, it’s already 9pm. She hears someone entering the office - Wei Wei returned to finish her work

MC is stunned by her work ethic and tells her to Relax™

But Wei Wei looks troubled and asks:

Wei Wei: Boss, would you feel upset if you fall for someone who is very bright and out of reach?

MC: Huh?

Wei Wei: I’m such a mediocre, normal, and plain person. It’s only when I don’t sleep, don’t rest, and keep running forward that I can catch up with him.

I seem to comprehend, yet not comprehend at the same time.

Wei Wei: No matter what, I have to keep running forward!

Victor calls and says he’d pick her up

MC has a sudden realisation - Wei Wei’s fast improvement happened after her visit to LFG with MC... 👀

[ CHAPTER TWO ]

All of a sudden, Victor informs her of his agreement to be a cameo in a short film which would be shot overseas by a guy called Ronan, and that they’re flying the next day

MC wonders who exactly Film Director Ronan is for Victor to just readily accept the role, but Victor doesn’t respond

When they arrive, MC is surprised to see that Director Ronan is a tall and slim, curly-haired young foreigner

MC: Nice to meet you, Director Ronan. I’m MC.

With a cheery smile, Ronan shakes my hand.

Ronan: Hello, bride-to-be.

I turn towards Victor confusedly.

Victor: Did you not hear a single word of what we were talking about just now?

MC: Of course not! You were both talking about... wedding attires, exchanging of wine cups... I understand that, but... I’m also acting?

Perhaps I look overly lost. Victor doesn’t even say that I’m stupid, but there’s a look of resignation implied in his glance.

MC: So this is what you meant earlier when you said I should prepare... I see...

After half an hour, I finally understand the situation completely.

Ronan is a very old friend of Victor. Even though he’s young, he is a famous film director in France, and has won numerous international prizes.

He’s currently on a long vacation, and is planning to prepare a short film. In it, he will convey his attitude towards love through the use of various cultures’ wedding customs.

The first stop for collecting materials is in China.

Ronan: It’s called Devotion, and will be my first non-fiction work. I hope it can be presented in a beautiful and well-designed form to convey genuine and believable emotions.

MC states that if she has the chance, she’d also want to go to different corners of the world to film

Victor responds with his usual remarks - “are you done with your report?”

Ronan laughs softly, revealing an intrigued expression.

He walks to me and bends down, meeting my eyes and giving me a wide grin.

Ronan: MC, Victor has a lot of little secrets. If you want to know anything, I can tell you.

At that moment, I feel as though I’m standing in front of a big mine, treasures laid out before me. I have no idea where to begin digging.

Victor: Why am I unaware that I have a lot of secrets?

Ronan gives him a light sweeping glance. Then, he raises his voice.

Ronan: I can tell you that many girls want to know his phone number.

MC: Eh?

[ CHAPTER THREE ]

While the staff help with her outfit and makeup, she overhears their conversion:

Makeup artist: Is that Victor?

Costume staff: He looks even better in person than on television. No wonder he’s so popular.

Makeup artist: You like his type?

Costume staff: Difficult to say. It’s easier to be with someone who’s a little better than a regular human, or someone who’s just two points better. For someone like him, who’s akin to the stars hanging up in the sky... liking him is futile.

I mull over these words, and several images flash across my mind, finally pausing at Wei Wei’s unbending expression.

MC enters the filming location and sees Victor, who’s looking at his script.

Sensing my gaze, Victor sets down the script in his hands and walks towards me. After looking me up and down, he finally gives a positive evaluation.

Victor: Not bad.

Sensing the glances of the staff members, I touch the hair accessories in my hair. A little embarrassed, I look around for the director.

MC: [blushing] Are we filming soon? Where’s Ronan?

Ronan: Here!

Without realising it, Ronan is standing behind me, a stunned look in his eyes.

Ronan: The Chinese wedding attire is so beautiful! We’ll go with what I mentioned just now. Don’t be nervous. The two of you just need to relax a little more, and I’ll be able to capture the best shots.

They begin filming. MC feels nervous, and strikes up a conversation with Victor

MC: Victor, don’t you think we’re always pretending to get married?

I’m unsure if Victor is pretending not to hear me, but he has no reaction at all.

MC: Victor, look at the moon tonight. It’s so round!

Victor: Mm.

MC: ...

After confirming that Victor is ignoring me on purpose, I change the topic.

MC: Victor, after you left the makeup room, Ronan came over and told me a lot of your secrets!

Victor: Did he tell you that many women want my phone number?

MC: Huh? No!

Victor smiles lightly, then meets my eyes.

Victor: Continue.

MC: He told me a story about close friends.

Victor arches his brows slightly, as though he already knows what I’m about to say.

MC: I heard that when LFG first started, a director with nothing to his name came looking for an investment. He boldly promised that his work would win a grand prize. The young CEO, with his good tastes, decisively invested after seeing his work. Afterwards, this work won a grand prize, and even three international prizes. Overnight, LFG became reputable in the industry. If that’s the case, he must be a close friend of yours. Why have you never mentioned him?

Victor: We have a good relationship, so there’s nothing to bring up. Also, we haven't met in three years.

MC: Three years?!

Victor: He’s busy with a lot of things. I am too.

Victor says this in an ordinary manner, but I hear the most moving overtones.

MC: But you dropped all your work the moment he called and asked you to film?

Victor: Encounters between people are very short-lived. The next time we meet, it might not just be three years later.

His tone is light, as though he’s talking about a normal matter. Yet, it’s as though I’m seeing pages with “The End” written on them. If the page is flipped once more, the book would close completely.

I suddenly think of many people in my life. People who were once close to me - people who had walked through many seasons with me - and how they silently left at some point in time.

Sometimes, I didn’t even realise that after waving goodbye to certain people, it would be the last time I would ever see them again.

Noticing that I haven’t spoken in a while, Victor speaks in a softer voice.

Victor: What are you thinking about?

MC: There are many important people I don’t want to only share short-lived encounters with.

Victor: For example?

MC: For example, you.

I answer without thinking, and without a second of hesitation. Even Victor pauses for a while after hearing my response.

Victor: MC, do you know the meaning of Hejin wine?

[Trivia: Hejin wine is also known as “The Wedlock Wine”]

For some reason, he changes the subject. He holds up the two wine cups in front of us.

Victor: “Jin” is a kind of gourd. It tastes very bitter, and is split into two halves and added to the wine. When the bride and the groom drink it together, it becomes Hejin wine. The meaning behind it is - you and I are originally one body. Whether it’s in joy or sorrow, or bitter of sweet times, we will go through it together.

While Victor speaks, he draws closer to me, placing one of the wine cups in my hand.

Victor: On this earth, there will be one person who will drink the same cup of wine together with you, and will experience the same taste as you. Other people will leave, but he wouldn’t. If you want to wait for other people to return, he will accompany you in waiting. This is the meaning of Hejin.

The red silk and the colour of his clothes blend together. The overwhelming colour of red envelops me.

The dazzling red candles are reflected in his pupils, and within them holds my dumbfounded expression.

In this pair of eyes, I see the world’s vastest tenderness.

Victor: I promise you. I will always be with you.

[ CHAPTER THREE: Extras ]

After Ronan is more-or-less done with filming, MC just chills outside

She tells Victor how she feels sad about not taking sufficient photos of themselves in their gorgeous attire

Victor: What other photos do you want to take?

MC: I want to pictures of the palanquin, pictures of the firecrackers, and kowtowing!

[Trivia: MC is referring to traditional Chinese wedding processions]

Victor: There isn’t a palanquin, and the firecrackers have already been set off earlier. If you still want to act, there’s only the kowtowing left.

I cast a glance towards the inner hall, slightly embarrassed.

They get into position :’)

MC: A bow to the heaven and the earth--

With the heaven, the earth and the cosmos as my witness, being able to meet you among the vast sea of people is already the best encounter in my life.

MC: A bow to the parents--

The parents witness the girl, who used to fall a lot when she was younger, grow up. In the years she spent growing up, she finally found someone to entrust her entire self to.

I turn my body slowly. For a moment, I don’t know what expression to have on my face, so I lower my head.

Victor: A bow to each other. Both witnessing the rest of our lives...

Victor speaks in a deep, unhurried voice. But he stops suddenly.

The mist-like moonlight seems to cage him in a thin and light dream.

MC: What?

He leans over and whispers into my ear. Every sound is immersed in the night, dim and inviting.

The familiar aroma of wood is in his breaths, mixed together with the cooling night breeze. I wonder if I should follow my instincts and sink into it, or wake up.

Victor: I’ll tell you next time.

[ CHAPTER FOUR ]

After the filming, Ronan sends MC and Victor to the hotel to rest, but tells them not to change out of their outfits just in case he needs to re-film certain segments

MC actually has no idea when Ronan started filming, or how the film is going to turn out. She only knows that it started the moment Victor lifted up the wine cup

Ronan just told her to keep looking at Victor with fascination in her eyes

MC: Victor...

Victor: Mm?

MC: Don’t you find “Devotion”, the name Ronan gave the film, very appropriate? I once read a poem where the poet used this word to describe the adoration between lovers. It’s a... similar feeling to having faith in each other. Even though two people are already extremely intimate, the ties between a desire for the other person and feelings which are as deep as the sea... they push one forward.

Victor is making tea. After hearing my serious interpretation, he tastes my words carefully.

Victor: Not a bad insight.

MC: But...

Victor: But what?

MC: Victor, do you know that you make people feel like you’re out of reach?

Victor: What do you mean?

MC: Something like... always hanging up in the sky brightly and brilliantly, and no one can possibly pluck the stars. Or the feeling of unattainability... You’re smart, strong, and can deal with anything calmly and properly. You give the impression that nothing is too difficult for you. You’re always decisive, wise, having an opinion and having goals. Unlike me...

The more I speak, the more I feel the words don’t match what I intend to say. After struggling for a while, I decide not to continue.

I thought Victor would feel at a loss in response to my sudden lament and random conversation topic. However, his expression is unexpectedly calm.

After a short moment of silence, he lets out a light “mm”. He carries two tea cups and walks over, sitting down on the chair opposite me.

Victor: If you want to say something, say it directly. I’m listening.

I hold my chin. Steam from the two tea cups drift towards his eyebrows. Even before I start talking, I’m already unable to suppress a smile.

MC: I kind of... admit that I’m a dummy.

Victor: ...

Victor lets out a laugh. I seldom hear such bright laughter from him.

I’m unsure if he’s laughing at my display of self-awareness, or because he’s happy that I complimented him. After a pause, he lets out a light sigh.

Victor: What nonsense do you think about the entire day?

MC: It’s not ‘nonsense’, it’s...

The words are lodged at my throat halfway, and I’m unable to find an appropriate adjective even after a long time. Meeting Victor’s patient expression, I find myself at a greater loss for words.

Seeing that I’m speechless, Victor unhurriedly brings up the topic again.

Victor: MC, does Ronan make you feel like he’s out of reach?

MC: Huh?

I can’t find the main point of his words, so I simply go along with his line of thought. After thinking for a while, I shake my head.

MC: But I only just met him...

Victor: At his young age, he is already a world-renowned director. He outpaces others within the industry, and there are many people who are envious of his natural talent. He is very good in his field - even better than me.

MC: But...

Victor: Don’t you think so?

I want to refute him, but he’s actually not wrong.

In the long silence that follows, I rub my fingers against the smooth, porcelain surface of the teacup, slowly taking in the implication in his words.

I see a streak of light in the entire Milky Way.

Victor: In the future, you’ll see an even broader world, and meet even more great people. At that time, you may think that Victor is actually just an ordinary person.

MC: ...huh?

Still immersed in my thoughts, I’m unsure if I misheard.

MC: What did you just say? Victor is just an ordinary person?

In the next few seconds, I even think of the title of the next proposal - The Ordinary Victor.

Sub-title: How the legendary CEO of a huge business empire re-defines what it means to be an ordinary person.

Victor sips his tea, putting an end to the conversation

MC: Victor, do you still remember how I went to Venice to participate in a photography exhibition?

Victor: I remember. It was in September.

MC: Since young, I’ve always wanted to go to Venice because of movies and stories. So when I was booking the tickets, my whole brain was thinking about the fun things to do once I got there. But on the third day in Venice, I felt like coming back. I kept feeling that being alone overseas, so far away from you, resulted in something being missing in my happiness. It was only when the plane landed and I returned to the familiar streets that this uneasiness finally disappeared. Did you know that... when I got off the car, I smelt a strong scent of osmanthus. I dragged my suitcase looking for osmanthus trees, thinking... “I wonder if Victor knows how to bake osmanthus cakes!”

[Trivia: Osmanthus is a traditional symbol of true love and faithfulness, and is used in old wedding customs, where the bride would bring it to her new family. It also means “giving birth to noble children” 👀]

Victor lets out a laugh, relaxing his posture and leaning against the back of the chair.

Victor: Why didn’t you ask me to bake an osmanthus cake?

MC: I wanted you to see me in a different light, so I tried it myself while referring to an osmanthus cake recipe. After that... it wasn’t successful. Didn’t I make you steamed pumpkin with osmanthus? You even said it wasn’t unpalatable and that I improved!

Victor thinks for a while, as though grasping around his memory for a trivial moment. The smile which has been on his face this whole time reveals slight hesitance.

Victor: I thought you just made that dish for fun.

MC: That’s not wrong...

Victor doesn’t continue. There were many times I thought he’d definitely call me a dummy, but he didn’t.

He reaches out and interlaces our fingers together.

He holds them lightly, leaving space between his warm palm and my fingertips.

Victor: You’ve already plucked the star. Aren’t you going to hold it more tightly?

MC: Huh?

Slightly overwhelmed, I look at our interlaced fingers. Tentatively, I gather my five fingers together.

I imagine how my fingertips touch the lines on his palm. I imagine every fragment of time we spent together turning into speckles of bright light, filling up the entire world.

But Victor probably found that I was too slow.

He unfurls his five fingers, then wraps my hand tightly into his palm.

Victor: Remember - when you meet anyone, there’s no need to feel that you’re not enough. You have your own uniqueness, and it’s just as precious.

I look towards him, seeming to understand his words. I nod my head out of habit, but it’s a more serious nod than usual.

At this moment, a phone notification chime resounds in the quiet room. Victor takes up his phone and gives it a look.

Victor: Ronan says he has completed shooting today’s materials, and there aren’t any issues. We can change out of our outfits.

After she’s done changing in the bathroom, she sees the glorious sight of Victor setting the candles alight

[Trivia: On the night of traditional Chinese weddings, the newlyweds will set candles alight in front of the bed. The light of the candles are meant to symbolise a long-lasting love]

Victor: Are you done changing?

[ CHAPTER FIVE ]

While Victor changes out of his clothes, MC muses about how she can’t bear to part with the wedding attire. Ronan could only borrow it for two days, which is why Victor had to rush over

MC takes several pictures of the wedding attire on her phone from different angles

She puts on the veil, but since she can’t see properly through it, she can’t take her ideal photos

Frustrated, she’s about to throw her phone onto the sofa when someone grabs her arm

Victor: Why are you barefoot?

MC: It’s fine...

Before I finish talking, Victor lifts me up. The sudden weightlessness causes me to hurriedly wrap my arms around him.

At such a close distance, I can clearly smell the moisture on the side of his neck.

He places me onto the large bed in the room.

I reach out to remove the veil, but he stops me.

Victor: What kind of bride takes off her own veil?

I only see a patch of red in my vision. Because of this, every word entering my ears is made even clearer.

His undulating breathing and the tenderness in his dull voice enter my heart more directly than before. I find myself feeling nervous.

MC: Oh right-

Seeing me straighten up after remembering something, Victor lets out a sigh of resignation.

Victor: Aren’t you tired after a whole day of tossing about? You’re still so easily startled...

MC: I remember Ronan mentioning that his plane is leaving tomorrow too. Once he leaves, it could really be several years later till you two meet again. Do you want to change the flight to a later slot so you can send him off?

Victor: Sure.

Despite a slight pause, Victor’s answer does not contain any hesitation. His words seem to conceal a smile.

Victor: Why did you suddenly think of this?

MC: It wasn’t sudden. You’re always not saying what you mean. I was afraid you would pretend it doesn’t bother you. When it comes to important people, you have to welcome them when they arrive, and send them off when they leave. Through these interactions, the fate between you two can be sustained for longer.

Victor: Mm.

His slender and long fingers hold onto one corner of my veil. Following his movements, my vision slowly returns.

First, I see his black shirt. Then, every button on it. After that, his slightly trembling Adam’s apple, and his clean chin.

Finally, I meet his gaze, which is even deeper than the sun, moon, and stars.

MC: Victor, could you teach me how to bake an osmanthus cake when we get back? A green bean cake, jujube cake, or a peanut cake will do too.

Victor: Do you really want me to teach you, or do you just suddenly feel like eating them?

MC: Both are fine, they aren’t mutually exclusive.

Victor reaches out and gently pulls me into his arms. A familiar warmth seeps through his thin shirt. My eyes drift shut, and I press the side of my face against his scorching neck.

Actually...

To me, just the word “Victor” already holds great meaning to me.

He is the very first ray of light to appear at the beginning of the world.

He is the ray of light that appeared when God said, “let there be light.”

I grasp his hand tightly. I hold it very, very tightly. As though I will never let go.

At 3pm the next day, Ronan’s plane takes flight.

His next stop is Southeast Asia, then South Asia, then Europe, the North America...

The next time we meet, he would have explored the entire globe, taking beautiful pictures that cause people to marvel at them.

Victor: Although it was delayed by two days, the deadline for the proposal is still the same. I hope to see improvements in your third amendment by this Friday.

MC: ...

Goldman: CEO!

Goldman and Wei Wei are at the airport to fetch them

Wei Wei looks really anxious 👀

MC asks what Wei Wei is doing here, and the latter responds that there are urgent documents requiring MC’s signature

But MC remembers Anna mentioning that those documents aren’t urgent 👀

Wei Wei drops her pen accidentally, and her pearl bracelet suddenly snaps while she tries to pick it up

The pearls roll onto the ground

Before MC can step in to help, Goldman uses his file to stop the pearls from rolling away even further 👀

Wei Wei’s cheeks are red, and she stares at Goldman with a look of anticipation in her eyes.

MC: I see...

It turns out that the sky every person looks towards is different.

Encounters with people are short-lived. The stars in the universe have their own tracks, so if you lift your head and find an exceptionally bright star--

Pick up your feet and chase after him.

Don’t sleep, don’t rest, and keep running forward!

Till you can hold onto his hand, and drink a cup of bitterness and sweetness - the hundred flavours of life - together with him.

Victor, who is walking in front, stops and turns his head to look at me.

Victor: Why are you just standing there looking silly? They’re catching up soon.

I can’t help but laugh. Our gazes meet.

Perhaps the smile on my face looks silly. Victor lets out a soft sigh, turning his body towards me halfway, as though waiting for me.

I no longer hesitate, taking large strides in Victor’s direction-

And running forward!

🍒 Cheri’s thoughts 🍒

That was a somewhat awkward ending LOL

The Goldman x Wei Wei ship... T^T

Reading Victor’s Colours of Rain Date after this is highly recommended. It makes reference to this date, and also shows the other extreme - what happens if you keep pushing yourself and maintaining a strong front

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc victor #SO CUTE #SO ROMANTIC

269 notes · View notes

proxylynn · 7 years ago

Text

UNDERFELL: FILE NAME NOT EDGY ENOUGH part #3

Chapter 3: Napstablook

WARNING: I WANT NO RESPONSIBILITY OVER SPOILING THINGS FOR OTHERS. THAT BEING SAID, THIS HOW FILE NAME NOT FOUND WOULD FUNCTION IN THE AU OF UNDERFELL. BEFORE YOU READ THIS, UNLIKE THE NICE TIME OF UNDERTALE, THIS WORLD IS KILL OR BE KILLED. THIS STORY WILL BE GRAPHIC, GORY, USE SWEARS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, AND DEAL WITH SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTERS. FOR EXAMPLE, THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE FILE NAME RELOCATED SPOOF WILL KNOW HOW I PICTURE THIS VERSION OF LYNSIE COMING TO THE UNDERGROUND. IT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING DUMB. IT IS BECAUSE SHE CHOOSES TO END HER LIFE. AGAIN, THIS IS A BETA AND THIS OPENING CHAPTER IS LIABLE TO CHANGE TO BETTER FIT THE STORY AND MY NEWEST WRITING ABILITIES. SO TAKE THIS DEMO WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. I MADE IT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO LET SOME OF THIS EDGINESS OUT OF MYSELF. WHICH I GUESS MAKES UNDERFELL LYNSIE EVEN MORE TRUE TO WHO I REALLY AM. ANYWAY, ENJOY. ^_^

"Oh, my! That was pretty close. A second later and you would have been a pile of ashes."

Such a weird combination of tones in this voice. There's the tone of someone that is concerned about having attacked us and yet also the tone of twisted delight in the idea of death. This "HER" steps out of the shadows and I almost can't take her seriously. Toriel seems to be a monster that resembles a white-furred Nubian Goat, complete with droopy ears and short horns. She has a pair of visible fangs and long eyelashes, her irises have a dark red tint that looks insane or exhausted in the glow of the yellow sclera of her eyes. She has an anthropomorphic body, with paws at the end of her limbs. Which has me wondering why paws and not hooves? She wears a black and blood red robe that is frayed at the bottom, though the sleeves and leggings are a dusty gray. The robe displays a symbol of sorts on her chest that probably has a deeper meaning then I'm willing to care about right now. Right now, I'm more focused on the fire-wielding goat lady that is looking at me funny from across this really long room.

"Ah, do not be afraid, my child. I am TORIEL, caretaker of the RUINS. I pass through this place every day to see if anyone has fallen down. You are the first human to come here in a long time. I will do my best to ensure your protection during your time here."

I look at Flowey.

"Dude, is she for real?"

"She hasn't been the most stable since she left her husband."

"She left him? Huh...Judging by this intro of hers, I'd say he dodged a bullet."

Flowey shoots me a mean look and I'm confused.

"Come! I will guide you through the catacombs."

"You just threw a ball of freaking fire at us. I think we're better off going solo...or tandem? What do we call this thing we're doing?"

"Temporary joint union."

"Yeah! We're doing that."

Toriel's eye twitches and she step a bit more into the room.

"C-Child, please. I-I-I have only the b-best intentions for you."

"Considering we've just met and it started with you sneak attacking us, I'm calling bullshit on that. Flowey, do you have anything to add on why we shouldn't go along with her?"

"While she is motherly and caring some of the time, under the most minimal tension, she will become aggressive. She tries to keep the humans for herself. Always offering love and care. However, when the human inevitably tries to leave, she will fight them and attempt to kill them. Offering them a comparatively quick death, rather than a long and painful death at the hands of Asgore or any other monster."

"Huh...So what you're saying is, she's lonely?"

"Uh...I guess? Wait...What's with that look? Don't tell me you're actually considering it?"

"...Maybe."

Flowey proceeds to berate me and my questionable life choice when I notice something more urgent. Toriel is sprinting...towards us...and FAST!

"Fuck!"

"Huh? Holy sh-!"

I don't have enough time to evade to the side. Gotta go with a risky maneuver. I take a drive and skid under Toriel as she charges by. Once she's able to slow down, she sees us making a beeline out of here.

"You brats are making this so much harder than it needs to BE!"

Fireballs chase us out of the room, some getting way too close for comfort.

"I think we made her mad."

"We? Oh no, this is all on you."

"What did I do?"

"Less talky and more run for our lives!"

Now out of the room of fiery hell but with a crazed goat woman after us, we find a split path. There's a room to my left where a Froggit sits by and a hallway down the right.

"Which way?"

"That room's a dead end. Go right."

"Understood."

I ignore Flowey and the Froggit as it seems to ignore me as I enter the room on the left. The only thing there's nothing there but a bowl of candy on a pillar with two channels of water on either side.

"What are you doing?! She'll find us for sure."

"Can you hold your breath?"

"What?"

I slowly make us go into one of the channels and Flowey is shivering badly from the cold water.

"This is a stupid idea."

"Be quiet. She'll be gaining on us soon. You don't want to attract attention. Now hold your breath. We're going under."

We take in big gulps of air and I hold my nose as we sink beneath the placid surface. Flowey glares at me for doing this but then we hear the sound of someone enter the room. Heavy footsteps wander around the small room, obviously confused. There's silence for a time. Flowey begins tugging on me to get me to surface but I refuse. I won't go up till I feel it's safe. Soon, the heavy footfalls patter away out of the room and I wait an additional moment or two before carefully raising for air.

"*gasp*! Didn't you feel me pulling?! I needed air!"

"*sigh* She was still here. Going up would've been suicide."

"Fine...Can we get out now?"

"For the moment, yes."

"What do you mean for the moment?"

I drag us out and sit on the edge.

"Do you see what I see? The water is flowing into this room."

"Okay? So what?"

"If it's doing that, then that means there's a tunnel system. We can bypass running into her altogether and pop out somewhere else maybe ahead of her."

Flowey blinks a couple times.

"That's...That's actually a smart idea."

"The only issue would be air. Might be a tight squeeze in there, so we'll have to keep our faces up and hold our breath for a while."

"I was afraid you'd say something like that."

"You ready for this?"

"Wait...Eat some candy first."

"Uh...Why?"

"It'll restore your HP."

"..."

"Human?"

"It makes so much sense that I died in the fall and ended up in a purgatory that acts like a video game."

"That again? Look...I 100% assure you, you are not dead and this is real. Now go eat the candy, refill your HP, then get us back in the water so we can avoid the Boss Monster."

I stare at him blankly.

"You hear the words coming out of your mouth, right?"

"Yeah yeah. Just do it."

I stand up and go over to the precariously placed bowel.

[In this hellish world, you can only take 3 pieces of candy...Has a distinct, non-licorice flavor.]

"How would I even know that?!"

"Who are you talking to?"

"You really don't hear that?"

"You talking to yourself? Yeah. I'm pretty sure the Froggit heard you too."

"Ribbit." [I did.]

My eye twitches in frustration but I give up trying to understand and take a piece of candy.

[You took a piece of candy.]

"I swear I'm losing my mind."

[You ate the Monster Candy. Very un-licorice-like.]

"It's not wrong about that. Pretty tasty stuff."

[HP ██████████████████ 18/20]

"Mind sharing?"

"Croak?" [Me too?]

"Sure. Why not."

[You took more candy. How disgusting...]

"Bite me, voice in my head."

I give it to Flowey who happily munches on the treat.

[You took another piece. You feel like the scum of the earth...]

"No, I most certainly don't."

I toss a cady to the Froggit and it snaps it up with its long tongue.

"Ribbit." [Thank you.]

"No problem. Enjoy. And one more for me to max out my health."

[You took too much. Look at what you've done. You monster.]

"Whatever."

[You ate the Monster Candy.]

[HP ████████████████████ 20/20]

"Okay, back in the water we go. Yo, Froggit, if you see Toriel around here again, can you not say anything?"

"Croak, croak." [You got a deal, human.]

"Thanks, buddy."

Flowey and I take a deep breath before diving back in. It's dark in these tunnels, I have to feel my way along the walls for guidance. Luckily for Flowey, I stay close to the very tiny surface so he can breath more easily. Oddly, I find myself coming up for air less often than I'm used to. A crazy thought comes to me. Flowey's sort of fused to me in a parasitic fashion...What if he's able to filter some of the air he's getting into my own body? That would be so badass.

We skim along for a while. Aimlessly following the current as tries to push weakly against us. This is actually really relaxing. It's like going on the lazy river ride in water parks. It's a small break in the mad dash of the world where one can just forget all the insanity that goes on in our lives. But a reprieve like this is one that doesn't last long enough to my liking.

"Hey, I think I see light up ahead."

I can't really speak without gargling water, so I opt for nodding and move slowly towards it. I do so in caution. I know not what is out there. So when we near the opening I hold the walls and keep us stuck.

"Why did you stop?"

"*burbles* Check it out."

"*snickers* I'm sorry? I didn't quite get that."

"*growls*"

"Okay, okay. I'll take a look."

Flowey stretches his stem out to let his petal head take a look.

"The coast is clear."

He returns to me as I swim out the opening and pull us ashore in yet another room in the Ruins. I ring out my hair and clothes in a pretty dull room. On the end where I guess we would've entered are three boulders and three corresponding floor switches that would seem to go with the spikes that cover the bridge to this side of the room. I would say this is a smart puzzle but lying isn't nice. One can easily do what we did and swim across. Hell, with enough of a running start, you can jump the gap. Or even walk through the gaps in the spikes. Whoever is making these "puzzles" are terrible at making them trap anything. Unless...They aren't really trying to do so in the first place. Toriel...What are you up to?

"Wow! We made great progress."

"Did we?"

"Oh yeah. We skipped a bunch of annoying trap. I say we've got a mighty fine lead on Toriel."

"Good to know."

"Are you okay? You sound a little disappointed?"

"No. I'm just thinking is all."

"About what?"

"...Nothing. Let's keep going."

The room following this lame boulder-pushing puzzle is a room containing a mouse hole and a small table with a piece of cheese on it. Checking the table, the cheese appears to be stuck to the table due to being there so long.

"Hey rodent, I wouldn't try to eat that. That will definitely make you sick."

"Why bother? It's just going to eat it anyway."

"Better to speak up than say nothing at all."

"...You are a strange human."

"So I've been told."

Entering the next area another split off to two more passages. One going straight and one continuing on the left. Both paths are, however, blocked by what I can only imagine is a ghost. The ghost is like that of a simple bed sheet costume. But instead of the sheet being white, the sheet is black. The ghost has red eyes with black sclerae and aside from that is very undetailed long body apart from a mouth. A thin red line separates the eyes. It's just laying there on a pile of dead leaves, not even asleep either, though it's pretending to be.

"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."

"Should we say something?"

"It's a ghost. Walk through it."

"That's rude."

"How? It's not like it can feel anything. It's incorporeal."

"Dude, you are so racist."

"How is that racist?"

"That be like me walking on you just because you're a flower."

"Fine. Point taken. But we still need to get past him."

"Okay, I'll handle this. *ahem* Excuse me, Mr. Ghost?"

"zzzzzzzzzz...(are they gone yet) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...(can't they tell I want to left alone) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."

[This ghost keeps saying 'z' out loud repeatedly, pretending to sleep.]

No shit, Sherlock. I don't want to provoke it. But it seems like I have no choice but to bug the thing.

"Look, pal. I hate to bother you, but would you mind moving out of the way? I need to pass by."

"grrr...who's the moron that can't take a hint?"

It rolls over to sit up and face me. I'm not surprised to see it confused to see me.

"Yo. That would be Ms. Moron. Nice to meet you too."

I do a little bow for derpy effect and Flowey rolls his eyes.

"Don't mind her. She hit her head pretty hard earlier. Though I'm starting to think she's always been like this."

"Took you long enough to notice."

I pat Flowey's head but the ghost is unamused.

"oh...so it's a human that thinks it's funny. *scoff* just my luck. not only does a human have the nerve to piss me off. but it's a retard too."

I mock a gasp.

"Sir! I'll have you know I am far from that abhorred word. If anything, I'm special. With just a hint of A.D.D."

Flowey slaps himself.

"If you were trying to make yourself sound better, you failed miserably."

"that was trying? I'd hate to see what it's like when it actually makes an effort."

"*scoff* I'm surrounded by haters. But I've dealt with worse. My skin's gotten so thick I doubt any insult you throw at me will strike a nerve."

This intrigues our spooky new acquaintance.

"is that so? heh...alright human, you asked for it. *inhale* you are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, your soul isn't even worth taking, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor, and you smell. you're not even interesting enough to make me sick. you are nothing! if you were in my toilet I wouldn't bother flushing it. my bathmat means more to me than you. you pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, asshole of a human being!"

Wow...Who knew ghost could get winded.

"*panting* how...was that...human...?"

I clap impressively.

"Not bad, dude. That has to be a record for the most insults said to me in a single go. I give you a ten out of ten. Flowey?"

"...That was so messed up."

"And another ten from the second judge. The results are in. And...Yes! The ghost takes home the gold! The crowd is going wild!"

The room is dead silent.

"...are mocking me?"

"Far from it. If you think that's mockery than you're mistaken. If anything, I was trying to flatter you."

Another thing I didn't know about ghosts...apparently they can blush.

"f-flatter me? w-wow...heh...no one's ever done that before."

This ghost is adorable. I must resist the need to hug him. Unfortunately, while I'm having this internal battle to do something super awkward, the ghost shakes off the effect of my charm and smirks wickedly.

"I'll admit, you got me there human. but that's the last time that trick will work on me."

"Dude, I wasn't tricking you."

"I don't think it cares."

[GHOST FIGHT begins to play in the background.]

Huh? Is that...music?

[Here comes Napstablook.]

"Wait, what?"

"you talk a lot, human. but let's see how good you are at fighting!"

"Oh, you are so not ready for this."

"I am so not ready for this. I mean, how fair is this? He's a ghost! You can't hurt a ghost."

"that's right. you can't hurt me...but I can hurt you!"

My now purple soul emerges and the ghost, now known as Napstablook, proceeds to attack me with music notes. How does that work? Easy, he fires them like bullets at me! Sure the , , , and are easy to avoid, but the 🎼, , , and symbols are a lot trickier. Those are the ones that hit me quite a bit and riddled me with holes.

[HP ██████████████ 14/20]

"Damn it...*pant* I had just replenished my HP."

"We should've taken more candy with us."

"So true."

[FIGHT]

[ACT]

[ITEM]

[MERCY]

"Let's see what I'm dealing with here."

[ACT selected.]

[New options available.]

[CHECK]

[THREATEN]

[CHEER]

[FLIRT]

"Hold the ding dong phone here...I can flirt with him?"

"Please, human, for the love of god, do not flirt with him! Resist any sort of sentimentality and defend yourself!"

"Hmmm...Tough call here. I think I'll check first."

[CHECK selected.]

[Napstablook – HP: 88 ATK: 10 DEF: 10 – This monster doesn't seem to have a sense of humor...]

"oh, I'm REAL funny. make your move and find out."

Threat feels like the stupid option here and I really do want to see how flirting would go, but...I did only just meet the guy. I'd rather not make this too awkward right away.

[CHEER selected.]

"As far as fights go, you're doing a hell of a good job. Best one I've had all day. Keep it up, my spooky friend."

"...Did you really just say that?"

"*whisper* Shut it, flower-boy. I'm working here."

[Napstablook is wishing they weren't here.]

"heh...you think this is my good material? nah, you haven't seen anything yet. I've got jams way hotter than this. in fact...here's my latest remix!"

Napstablook shuts his eyes and concentrates. Curiously, he begins to sing a ghostly tune. These notes are floating notes are surrounded by purple bubbles They slowly fill the room more and more as he sings. Frankly, if this keeps up I won't be able to maneuver around these things.

"They're getting closer."

"I can see that Flowey. Not much I can do about it."

"What do you think will happen if you touch one?"

"I don't want to find out."

I find out when one pops on my head and the weirdest numbing sensation happens that is soon followed by my nervous system going nuts and I'm rocked with painful spasms.

[HP █████████ 9/20]

"Holy hell! Are you alright?"

"*slurred* C-Can't...m-move...B-Body...s-stuck..."

"Not good. This is not good at all."

Napstablook peeks with one eye and smirks at the sight before him.

"heh...that's the face of some that likes good tunes. tell me human, what do you think of my music?"

Concentrate Lynsie! Say or do something before he finishes you off!

"*slurred* I-I know...y-you're mocking me...B-But honestly...y-you have a...l-lovely voice.."

[FLIRT selected.]

Wait! I didn't select that!

Napstablook is flustered by this as much as Flowey and myself are. But this also breaks his concentration and bursts all the bubbles, allowing me time to recover in this confusion.

[The faint odor of ectoplasm permeates the vicinity.]

"w-w-what?! w-why would you say something like that?!"

I slap myself a couple of times to get the tingles out of my system.

"Because it's true. We might be fighting and acting like jerks, but that doesn't mean I'm going to lie about something like this. I mean, think about it, what would be the point?"

Napstablook averts his eyes from me.

"you're just making fun of me."

"Dude...Are you for real? Since we've met, have I even come off like a dick that would sling hate at you?"

"...no."

"Exactly. Life beats on people enough as it is. I'm not about to add more bullshit onto anyone's plate."

For a moment, this scary ghost holds a soft smile that makes him looks so damn cute. Yet it doesn't last long and he glares daggers at me seconds later.

"stop that."

"Stop what?"

"stop being nice to me."

"That's what I've been trying to tell her!"

"Zip it, Flowey. This is a serious moment. Napstablook is trying to speak and we should respect his turn to do so."

"just stop! you don't even know me. you're just some strange human. why don't you just back off?"

"To be fair, I can't really leave you alone. You started the fight and it won't let me leave unless we fulfill the 'end the fight' requirements."

"*scoff* that's not my problem."

"Though now that you mention it...Heh, I am coming on a little strong, aren't I?"

"Just a little?"

"Yeah...Tell ya what. Let's start over. S'up, I'm Lynsie the human. It's nice to meet you, Napstablook."

Napstablook fidgets and appears unsure how to respond.

"I come here because I don't want others to bother me...guess that turned out badly on my end."

"You do that too?"

His eyes widen.

"It makes it easier to be alone. To shut everything out. No one can hurt you when there's no one else around."

Napstablook looks sadden by my words and even Flowey is looking at me oddly. But Napstablook shakes this off.

"hey! mind your own business."

I frown.

"I know that tone. That's the voice of someone that is in pain and isn't ready to talk about it."

"*growls* hmph...I'm telling you, I'm fine. but soon you won't be..."

He summons more music note bullets.

"and it's not like you really care anyway!"

He fires them at me and I do my best to avoid taking damage as best I can, at least this attack isn't as strong as the last one. Purple bubbles hit for 5 HP while the note mullets hit for only 3 HP. My soul changes color, from purple to cyan light blue.

[This battle is taking everything you have...It's difficult and bringing up things you're not ready to go into either...But despite everything, you are filled with the need to him this ghost...No matter what.]

[HP ███ 3/20]

"*huffing* That...should've killed me..."

"Yeah, you took enough hits to have hit zero. What happened?"

"n-nothing! nothing happened...I'm just useless is all. I can't do anything right..."

Napstablook looks sullen, his inner pain creeping out to consume him. Damn it! I don't like this. I don't like that I can see myself in him and the tears that are threatening to pool in his eyes.

"Don't say that!"

Napstablook and Flowey flinch at my snap. I ball up my fists trying to keep calm.

"Don't talk like that! You're not useless. No one is ever useless. Everyone matters. It may never feel like it. It might always feel like everything is your fault and the world is better off never even knowing you exist. But damn it...That's not true! *sorrowful* It's not true..."

Don't you fucking cry! Don't you do it, you stupid bitch! Not now...Not like this.

"Lynsie? Hey, you're shaking..."

I bite my tongue and force a fake smile. No one's buying it.

"h-human...you shouldn't waste your nice words on me. I mean, I am trying to take your soul. no one should care about me...I'll just weigh them down and they'll end up getting hurt anyway..."

[CHEER selected.]

"You don't know that. It may be what you feel, but you don't know if that's the only outcome. The possibilities are as infinite as the stars in the sky. The only one that is really stopping you from finding out is yourself."

[Napstablook is staring into the distance.]

"..."

"Napstablook...*sigh* I know this is awkward as fuck. But I'm telling you these things not to be weird or upset up. But because I don't like feeling this pain. The same pain I see in you."

"...stop it human. this will get you nowhere. I don't want your pity."

"I'm not pitying you. I'm being sincere."

"Lynsie, maybe you should stop and...you're not going to listen to me again. *mumbles* Why do I even open my mouth?"

"I don't...just be quiet human!"

"It doesn't have to hurt. If you just talk to me..."

"stop it! stop doing this! can't you see I want you dead?!"

"Killing me isn't going to make you feel better! That won't make the pain stop!"

"SHUT UP!"

All this agitation is getting to Napstablook to the point his attacks change. Now he attacks me with his bloody tears. How does this attack me? Simple...He starts crying long wiggly tears that change direction upon approaching the walls, they climb up the walls and eventually fall once they are above me. So yeah, I'm trying to dodge blood tear rain. What the fuck is my life right now?! Either way, I manage to avoid everything up until the last couple of drops which burns my soul like acid!

[HP ███ 3/20]

"It burns! Argh! Why do tears burn?!"

"Here, let me..."

Flowey holds my soul and rubs it in his leaves. I don't question why this relieves the pain, I'm just incredibly grateful it does. Hooray for the healing power of plant aloe! I think?

"Mmmm...Thanks a million, Flowey."

"Thank me after we get out of this. It's your turn."

[REALLY NOT FEELING UP TO IT RIGHT NOW. SORRY.]

Poor Napstablook. He's crying and it's all my fault. I have to make this right. But how? Could it really just as simple as cheering? I mean, it is an option for a reason. I know if I felt this bad I'd like someone to cheer me up...Not like anyone ever gave a shit about me. No! Not now. Save the pity party for later. My light blue soul changes color again...now it's green.

[CHEER selected.]

"Napstablook...Please don't cry. I know this hurts. And you don't know how to deal with it. But the more you hold it in, the worse it will get."

"s-s-shut up! I'm not crying! *bawling* just shut up and die already!"

Napstablook starts crying normal looking magic blood tears that rise up before falling at a curved trajectory towards me. This attack is, by comparison, the easiest to avoid, as there aren't as many tears coming down like the other attack. This gives me a crazy idea that Flowey would so tell me not to do. I use this to my advantage and move inward, going straight for the sad specter.

[HP █ 1/20]

"What are you doing?! Get away from him, you idiot!"

"s-s-stay back...d-d-don't come any closer!"

"I can't do that."

"w-why not?"

I stop in front of him and he shuts his eyes in anticipation of some sort of hit. I just shack my head and put my hand on top of his head much to his surprise.

"I can't stay away, because I can't do this from afar."

I kneel down and wrap my arms around the poor guy in comfort. Once more, Flowey is both amazed and disappointed. But he's not my concern. Napstablook is confused, unsure whether or not to accept this.

[You hug NAPSTABLOOK.]

"*sobbing* why...w-why are you being so nice to me...?"

"I know the ache you're feeling. But no one ever took the time to ask if I needed help. I don't want to see anyone go through this like I did. So please...No more tears."

"*sniffling* I-I'm not crying...I'm not crying so you can just shut up...I don't need you to understand me...I don't need you to bother with me..."

"That's where you're wrong. I want to understand you. I want you to know that you can't do anything that would bother me. I...I want to be your friend, Napstablook. *sniffle* I want you to know that you're not alone."

Napstablook flinches at a sudden cold feeling. Turning to look at me his eyes widen. I'm crying. I couldn't hold it anymore. It's not as bad as I want to, but the tears are steadily falling. Napstablook looks over at Flowey who is just bewildered by the entire event.

"Don't look at me, she's the weirdo hugging you."

"Hugs are nice. Hugs make the pain stop."

Napstablook frowns and pats my back. Wait, he has hands? Where? How? Ghost logic!

"you...you're not bad...for a human."

"Thanks."

I let him go and he just floats sadly.

"I know this whole thing was weird between us. And you probably want to, you know, go sort some stuff out on your own instead of yukking it up with some strange human chick. But I want you to know...*nervous* If you ever feel like just...being around someone or...maybe talk for a bit...I won't mind being that person you come to. I-If that's cool with you and all? *nervous giggle*"

I rub my arm sheepishly. Why am I so nervous all of a sudden? Napstablook gives me a patient smile.

[Cheering seems to have improved Napstablook's mood.]

"heh...heh...heh...oh gee...you...you really are something else. but...maybe that's a good thing. I usually come to the RUINS because there's nobody around...but today...I met somebody nice. odd, but nice."

I smile fondly at him. I did good. I can be proud of myself.

"oh! I'm blocking the way...I'll let you pass now."

With that, Napstablook fades away.

[YOU WON!]

[You earned 0 XP and 0 gold.]

This clears the way for me and Flowey to continue, but I find myself frowning.

"What's wrong? You won. Now we can continue."

"I...I kinda was hoping he'd stick around. Maybe tag along?"

"What? Why?"

"He seemed like a nice guy."

"Nice? He tried to kill you! You have 1 HP left!"

"He was lashing out because he's hurting. I won't blame him for it."

"You are without a doubt the stupidest human I have ever known."

"If being kind to those that need it the most is stupid than I rather be a nice idiot than an intelligent asshole."

"That way of thinking is going to get you killed."

"Whatever."

I stand still for a while, my head looking down at the ground and my hair draping my face. Flowey becomes uneasy by this.

"Uh...Human? You do realize we can walk, right?"

"...Flowey, I need a minute."

"But, Toriel can be anywhere! We don't have time to..."

"FLOWEY!"

Little guy flinches and I rub my face trying to settle down.

"Please...I need a minute...Just one..."

"Human..."

Halfway into that moment of silence Flowey speaks again.

"Um...Sorry to bother you, but...That stuff you were telling the ghost...Was...W-Was that stuff true?"

I don't reply.

"Lynsie?"

"...I'm not ready to talk about it. Not yet. Not now..."

"O-Oh. O-Okay."

"...Sorry I snapped at you."

"...I forgive you."

He pats my head with his leaf and I start walking into the room straight ahead of us. This room is empty apart from two spiderwebs and a sign. The sign informs us of a Spider Extortion Racket, which is held in the two nearby spiderwebs. All proceeds will go to befit some monster named Muffet and her plans on taking over the Underground for all spider kind. Sounds lame to me. The smaller web wants 7 G for a single Spider Donut? Weird. The larger web wants 18G a thing of Spider Cider? What? Wait...There's small print on the sign. 'Please note, since we spiders are trapped in the Ruins and therefore can't give our gold to Muffet, we really don't give a crap if you pay us or not'. Well...I feel awkward.

"Take the food and let's go."

"None of these sounds good."

"Of course not. It's made by spiders, for spiders, with spiders. Who would WANT to eat a spider?"

"Not me, that's for sure."

"You don't really have a choice. You need something to heal. You can't go walking around with only 1 HP. You're a target waiting to be hit and hit hard."

"I'd rather press my luck without eating or drinking spiders."

Still, part of me feels odd about this place. So I take the 2G I got from the fight with Froggit and put it in one of the webs.

"Why'd you do that?"

"Meh. I don't need it."

A tiny spider comes down and takes the gold with a small snicker.

"Have a nice day."

I wave it off as we exit the room. Only now do we see that we have a slight problem. My fight with Napstablook has taken more of a toll than we knew, as I have been bleeding from bullet wounds this whole time and leaving a trail in my wake.

"We better go."

"Yeah."

Taking the other path leads us into a large room with three Froggits, who have huddled around and playing a game of craps. They look at us and for a second, it seems that they are about to attack us. But I think of something to distract them.

"Look behind you! There's something in the way!"

They look at the wall and much to our surprise, there IS something there. A fourth ant-sized Froggit is found in a crack in the wall and its got a tiny switchblade. While confusing as hell and so many questions coming to my mind, Flowey gets my body moving into the next room before the Froggits take notice of us again.

"...That was so weird."

"I know, right?"

This new room is just as odd. This room has spikes blocking the exit and six cracks, three on either side, on the floor. A plaque on the wall reads "There is just one switch." hinting that we need to trigger one switch to solve the puzzle in this room.

"Do you know where it is?"

"Nope. I don't really 'do' a lot of the puzzles here. I can just shift around in the ground and get by them."

"Cheater. *sigh* I guess we have to check each spot till we find it."

"Seems like it."

Starting with the three parts on the left, I kneel near the crack and push on it. This breaks the floor and we look inside.

"I don't see a switch. Do you?"

"Nah. Just a rooted Vegetoid. Let's keep looking."

Moving on to the next on the left side, we once more break the cracks. But lady luck smiles on us this time.

"I see it!"

"Great. Drop down."

"Drop down? How will we get out?"

"There's a set of stairs to get back up here. See those ledges? You climb over those to get back out here."

"...You monsters and your crazy puzzles, I swear."

Flowey doesn't get a chance to respond as I drop down the hole and land in a pile of dead leaves. Flipping the switch, we hear a loud clank and head up the stairs to return to the upper floor. Once there, we see the spikes are down.

"Great, let's keep going."

"Aren't you curious as to what the others have?"

"No."

"...We're looking."

"Why?"

"Because you never know unless you try."

Flowey sighs as I move over to the last hole on the left, but this one contains nothing but a leaf pile.

"Lame."

I go back to the start of the room and begin now on the right side. Breaking this first crack has me tilting my head in puzzlement.

"What is that?"

Flowey looks down and a look of familiarity hits him.

"Be right back..."

I watch as the flower-boy stretches down the hole and comes back with an old red ribbon.

"Why'd you get that?"

"For this..."

Flowey pulls my hair back with a couple vines and ties the ribbon tightly around it, making a ponytail.

"There. Now you can see better and not look so darn creepy."

[You equipped the Bloodstained Ribbon.]

[You gain 5 Defense.]

"Huh? Neat. A little gross, but neat."

[If you're cute, the monsters will still hit you just as hard...but now they might feel bad about doing it.]

"Really? Okay, I can dig this."

Moving on to the next crack, I break it open and I can't help the smile I get.

"What? What's with that goofy face?"

"Shhhh...You'll see."

I climb over the ledge to the hole's corresponding stairway and head down. Flowey is deeply confused until we get to the bottom. There, laying in a pile of leaves and facing the wall, is our spooky buddy Napstablook. Flowey's about to chastise me but I cover his mouth. Slowly I take careful steps closer.

"don't come any closer human..."

I shrug.

"Damn, and here I thought my ninja skills were top notch."

I try to be funny to show we're still cool. Though Napstablook does make a small chuckle, he doesn't turn around to face me.

"So...How ya doing, dude?"

He doesn't answer and I frown.

"Guess I really do suck at this whole friend thing. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you."

I turn to leave from whence we came.

"wait..."

I pause.

"...I didn't say you had to leave."

The smile I get hurts from how big it is and Flowey is at least glad to see I'm in a better mood. I turn back and go near Napstablook, sitting on the ground just a foot or two from the pile of leaves he's on.

"human..."

"Yeah?"

"I...I've been thinking...about the stuff you said...did...did you really mean it?"

"Every word."

Don't choke up now. He's willing to talk. Don't make this awkward.

"heh...you were right about some things...I...I have some problems...I'm angry and hurt...but not at you...there's just so much shit in my life...I need to really resolve so much and think about how to handle things..."

"Do you maybe wanna...talk about it?"

"no...not yet..."

"I understand."

"thank you...it's hard for me to say stuff like this...but I just want you to know that...that I'm grateful to you...no one here has the patience or kindness or mercy to put up with someone like me..."

"Is that what you think? That I put up with you? *groan* This is harder than I thought it would be."

"Lynsie? What are you doing?"

I move closer to Napstablook and lay behind him. The ghost visibly tenses up and flinches when I drape my left arm over him. Yep...Kind of spooning a ghost that tried to kill me some time ago. This is my life now.

"h-h-human?"

"I'm not 'putting up' with you. I know the people down here tend to be douchebags, but I genuinely care about you."

I nuzzle the back of his head and he sniffles at the possibility of tears happening.

"I'm sorry I attacked you so badly."

"It's okay. I forgive you."

"I..."

"Shhhhh...You don't have say anything, Napstablook. We can just lay here."

I feel him relax and feel a hand take hold of mine.

"human..."

"Hmmm?"

"this...this is nice."

I smile and shut my eyes.

"Yeah. It is."

I would love to see the look on his face, but at this point, I couldn't open my eyes even if I wanted to. I'm so worn out and low on health, exhaustion takes over.

"Lynsie? Aren't you worried about...?

"*sleepy* A little nap...Please?"

Flowey frowns but can't help that he's stuck on a lump of dead weight at the moment.

"Fine. But only for a little while. Besides, sleeping can recover your health above your maximum HP. So I guess it's for the best."

I'm out cold in moments. With me unconscious and Napstablook snoring soft Zs, Flowey gives in to the group. He curls up and lays his head on mine. Peaceful slumber soon fills the room in a place that knows no peace.

[Hours later]

Napstablook can't remember the last time he slept so well. Not that ghosts need sleep, but it still doesn't hurt to do so either. This human...Very strange, yes. But she made him feel so comfortable. From the kindness of her words to the gentleness of her actions, and the warmth of her body laying there against...wait...Where did the warm go?

Napstablook sat up and looked around. The human was nowhere to be seen. The only evidence she was there at some point was the indent in the leaves and small blood drops on the ground. Something doesn't feel right. Her behavior didn't match this. He had to investigate. Floating up to the upper level he found his answer as it was leaving the room. There was the human, still unconscious, but now being held and carried away by Toriel. Most likely taking the human to her home.

"oh, shit..."

#undertale #underfell #OC #Lynsie #Anomaly #Sans #Papyrus #Gaster #Grillby #Napstablook #Mettaton #Toriel #Chara #Asgore #Frisk #Asriel #Alphys #Undyne #Grandpa Semi #Flowey

4 notes · View notes

uclexhibitionproject2016 · 4 years ago

Text

Investment strategy evaluationLong-short position percentage (lspr) in the application of quantitative investing of digital assets

In order to allow users to understand more marketplace information, numerous exchanges launched contract large data products, including long-short position percentage, open up interest, contract basis and other data closely linked to the contract marketplace. These marketplace data are marketplace portraits drawn by countless info traders and sound traders with the expense of real money. The data includes a lot of useful information. Analyzing marketplace data helps traders judge where the current market will be and predict the near future marketplace trend, in order to better control risks and seize opportunities.

This article mainly conducts a quantitative analysis from the Long Short Position Ratio (Long Short Position Ratio, hereinafter known as lspr) in OKEx contract big data products. Let's consider Bitcoin for example to review the partnership between lspr and marketplace trends in the past six months, and make use of modeling and other methods to try to understand the predictions of lspr. Section 1 Long-Short Placement Ratio Launch The long-short place percentage is calculated because the number of accounts holding net longer placements divided by the number of accounts holding net short positions:

The so-called online position refers to the number and path of the rest of the contracts in case a trader holds both short and longer contracts of a certain digital asset for a few purpose, after offsetting the longer and short contracts he holds one to one. In the contract market place, every time a trader opens a long order, you will see a corresponding clear order. That's, at any time on the market, the number of lengthy and short orders may be the same. The merchandise of the average number of lengthy contracts held by the net lengthy account and the net lengthy account may be the final number of lengthy contracts. Exactly the same holds true for short contracts. From the above two points, the following formula can be acquired:

From (1)(2), we are able to get:

It can be discovered that lspr can be converted into the percentage of the average open attention of short accounts to the average open attention of long accounts. This means: the higher the lspr, the larger the average quantity of shorts; and vice versa. For example, if lspr will be 3 at the moment, it means that normally, the margin used by each internet short position will be three times the margin used by the net longer position. In most cases, we believe that info traders have benefits in funds and news, and may obtain excess comes back on the market. When traders with small funds are purchasing greedily or selling fearfully, the information traders hiding in the shadows may present their feet for the lspr factor. Extended reading: Investment perspectives | How exactly to observe Bitcoin trends with spot and derivatives market data? Chapter 2 Element Derivation Element derivation, the scientific name "feature engineering", is a process of executing some transformations on the basis of the original data so the algorithm can better obtain info from the info. The data found in this informative article may be the lspr worth of the BTCUSD delivery contract for the OKEx platform as well as the BTC/USD place price for the Bitfinex platform. The time span will be from August 1, 2019 to June 9, 2020. The training set will be from August 1, 2019 to Feb 1, 2020. Just data in this range will be used for evaluation and modeling. The info from Feb 1, 2020 to June 9, 2020 is a validation set, that is intended to verify whether the law is steady. Section 1 Launch to Derivative Aspects In order to fully remove the information contained in lspr, while considering the limitations of observable samples, we have designed two period dimensions and three statistical measurements, totaling six elements: Table 2.1 Derivative factors (1) lspr moving average By calculating the moving typical of lspr, the impact of extreme ideals ??can be eliminated to a certain degree, and a far more steady lspr value can be acquired. Among them, f_ma_ld may be the typical lspr of the past 72 hrs, and f_ma_sd may be the typical of the past a day. Both reveal the absolute level of lspr in the recent period. The following will explore whether the performance of the prospective changes in the future when the lspr reaches different levels. (2) Change price of lspr The pace of change in lspr measures recent changes in lspr. When lspr lowers, this indicator becomes harmful, and vice versa. Among them, f_roc_ld may be the price of change of the existing lspr worth compared to the worth of 72 hrs back, and f_roc_sd may be the price of change of the existing lspr worth compared to the worth of a day ago. Once the worth of lspr starts to rise, it might mean that traders with smaller funds are starting to perform more, or that traders with benefits in funds and information begin to increase positions and bet that the near future will fall, then the price of change of lspr can intuitively describe this sensation , To provide traders with signals to change the market. (3) lspr volatility Compared with the above two reasons, the calculation of lspr volatility could be slightly more difficult. Subjectively, if the lspr volatility price is low, it means the long and short positions have dropped into a condition of anxiety during this time period of your time, and the two sides come in a difficult place; on the contrary, if the lspr volatility price is high, it means that at the amount of the capital game, the amount of funds Smaller traders' funds are jumping backwards and forwards on both sides of longer and short. This example can be described as "restlessness." What kind of marketplace situation "restlessness" and "stress" match in the future requires quantitative evaluation. Below, we calculate the coefficient of variation (Coefficient of Variant) for lspr in the past 72 hrs and a day, as an estimation of its volatility. Extended reading: Five-Minute SchoolWhat is "Volatility"? How exactly to apply in digital asset strategy Section 2 The performance from the derivative elements is dependant on empirical considerations, as well as the forecast focus on selection may be the next 72 hrs, that's, the return price within the next three days. Through the exercising set time period, the BTC's rise and fall within the next 72 hrs is shown in the body below, which generally covers the marketplace fluctuations and tendencies. Body 2.1 BTC's future 72h return price sequence In most cases, after processing each factor, it is first necessary to make an instant and preliminary assessment from the predictive ability from the derivative factors. In this study, the different factors are sorted from little to large, as well as the segmentation threshold is determined by the CART choice tree algorithm, as well as the example is split into a number of intervals. Then calculate the average worth of the elements in each interval and the average worth of the matching rate of return, in order to intuitively judge the influence of each aspect on the price of return. The CART choice tree algorithm, in most cases, can be an algorithm that uses a binary tree to classify or regress data. as the picture shows: Body 2.2 The CART decision tree diagram classifies people A, B, C, , L. The glowing blue nodes are called split points, as well as the orange nodes are called leaves. The number of leaves also determines that decision tree lastly divides the samples into several classes. In the algorithm of the paper, considering that the number of samples is not very large, the maximum number of leaves can be arranged to 5, that's, the sample will be split into 5 at most, and a single leaf contains the least sample size of 16% of the full total. After calculating all of the factors as well as the rate of return, a sample is taken at zero each day and put into the training set. A total of 174 samples are obtained. (1) lspr moving average The average value of lspr in the past 24 hours has a significant negative impact on the near future 72-hour yield. The larger the observed worth of f_ma_sd, the more likely it will fall within the next 72 hrs, and vice versa. This is consistent with the prior hypothesis and contains a strong reasonable interpretation. As shown in the body below, the example is split into 5 parts in ascending order of factor size for grouping stats. Among them, in team 0, the average factor is approximately 1, as well as the matching average return will be slightly higher than 0; as the average factor in team 4 is more than 1.5, the corresponding average return is significantly less than -2%. And the average return price of the team with a lower average score had been significantly higher than that of the team with an increased score. Body 2.3 The grouping result of f_ma_sd The average worth of lspr in the past 72 hrs also shows similar properties in the training set, therefore i won't do it again it here. Body 2.4 f_ma_ld grouping results (2) lspr change rate In the training set, by observing the grouping outcomes of f_roc, we are able to find that a sharp decrease in f_roc does mean that it is more likely to rise within the next 72 hours, while a sharp rise in f_roc is not a good sign for the bulls. If the existing lspr increases sharply from 3 days back, the bulls are at a drawback. If the existing lspr falls sharply in comparison to 3 days ago, the anticipated return of heading long could be higher. However, when the price of change will be near zero, the predictive ability of this aspect for future comes back is almost vulnerable. See the picture below for information: Body 2.5 f_roc_sd grouping results Body 2.6 f_roc_ld grouping results (3) lspr volatility We are now able to response the queries raised in the previous section. At the financial degree, the "stress" of both long as well as the short is more likely to indicate a future decline, as the "rest" of lspr is truly a harbinger of a fresh round of marketplace conditions. Body 2.7 f_rv_sd grouping results Body 2.8 f_rv_ld grouping results Section 3 Model developing In the last chapter, we have summarized some rules. However, there may be interactions between various elements, and there may also be some nonlinear associations. In order to remove more valuable info for investment guidance from lspr, it's important to further set up a quantitative model. Section 1 Algorithm improvement The elements constructed in this article all show a certain connection with the near future price of return in the known data, and can be logically explained logically, so all of the above 6 factors can be put into the model. In practice, although the prediction of a single algorithm has specific guiding significance for future market trends, it is extremely vague. According to the theory of machine studying, we use multiple algorithms to enhance training to attain the reason for integrating the training capabilities of multiple algorithms and getting better prediction results. With regards to modeling ideas, you can first make use of six elements and their matching dependent variables, and make use of linear and nonlinear models for in-sample exercising to obtain multiple weak classifiers; after that use the installed worth of the vulnerable classifier result as Factors are incorporated with linear models to get the final model, that is found in the check set. The reason behind integration would be to reduce the chance for a single model being unreliable, and to enhance the stability of the model as well as the generalization ability on unknown data. Among them, the linear choices are OLS and RidgeCV. The former may be the simplest and may be intuitively understood and explained by observing the regression equation, but it may be affected by aspect multicollinearity when examining the effect of elements. The latter introduces a regular term to reduce the influence of multicollinearity. Although cross-validation decreases the possibility of presenting posterior knowledge, in addition, it increases the complexity of the model. Since the correspondence between certain factors as well as the price of return is not linear, we also decided to use nonlinear model decision trees and random forest algorithms. Your choice tree algorithm can remove easy-to-understand rules, and would work for data models with high function dimensions and little sample dimensions. We give the minimal sample size of a single leaf to hyperlink over-fitting. But its result predictions are focused on several blades, so you can clearly note that its result predictions are "crowded collectively." The arbitrary forest algorithm utilizes the bagging method to randomly select elements and samples to teach a large number of unbiased decision trees and shrubs, and utilizes the voting method of each choice tree to get the final model. It can extract the information of training samples very well, but at the trouble of explanatory power, it could be regarded as a dark box to a certain degree. Body 3.1 Design performance The aforementioned figure displays the performance of each model on the training arranged and test arranged. Among them, OLS, Ridge_Resume, DecisionTree, RandomForest are four sub-models respectively. The first row displays the performance from the model in the training arranged. In each scatter storyline, the horizontal and vertical axes are the predicted worth of the sub-model and the actual BTC's actual price increase and decrease in the next three days. Below each scatter storyline, the goodness of fit R^2 from the model is listed. The bigger the worthiness, the stronger the predictive ability of the model. Although this worth is generally not large, it is currently extremely Practical significance. The second collection may be the validation arranged. This line displays the generalization ability of models using different algorithms on unknown data. It's very reasonable the prediction effect will be attenuated compared to the exercising arranged, but R^2 exceeding 0.05 indicates that every sub-model also has a certain predictive effect. The fifth column, ALL_OLS, shows the performance from the integrated super model tiffany livingston built utilizing the OLS algorithm with the predicted values ??of all sub-models as factors. Although its R^2 performance is not the very best on the check set, it is chosen because the final model since it avoids the contingency of model selection and decreases the impact from the failure of a single model overall. In the 3rd row, the decision tree can be used to optimally group the output value and actual value of the ALL_OLS super model tiffany livingston in the training set to obtain its cut point. Then team the cutpoints acquired in the previous step from the predictions made by ALL_OLS in the validation arranged. The bar chart (best) may be the mean of each group of predicted ideals ??in the validation arranged, as well as the bar chart (bottom level) may be the mean from the matching true values. Based on this, it could be seen intuitively the model does have certain predictive features. However, because of the complexity from the algorithm as well as the restriction of the amount of data, the economic logic behind the model remains to be further explored in the future. Section 2 Discretization of prediction results From the pursuit of model stability, the following two-step technique is adopted. The first step is to use the integrated model method mentioned in the previous section, which decreases the influence of a single model failure overall as well as the contingency and subjectivity of model selection. The second step would be to discretize the prediction results. Discretization can reduce the possibility of overfitting and enhance the generalization ability of the model, so the model can be used more confidently on unknown data. The general process of discretization of forecast results is as follows: First, in the training set, the fitting worth of the ALL_OLS super model tiffany livingston output is obtained for the true fluctuation, as well as the fitting worth is divided through the decision tree to get the optimal grouping, and then a mapping table is obtained: Body 3.2 Discretization mapping table Once the validation place data is input in to the trained ALL_OLS super model tiffany livingston, it will result a predicted value, that may then be converted into discrete ideals ??through the mapping table. If the predicted value will be 0.01, then it will be changed into 2 based on the above mapping table. When the predicted value will be 0.05, then your converted value will be 4. In this study, the left-open and right-closed method was used, but transforming this setting will not have a decisive impact on the strategy. Section 4 The model application model is dependant on the BTC contract long-short place ratio data. For that reason, the main procedure target of the strategy is also BTC. According to the grouping of model prediction results, we constructed the following strategy. The model predicts the trend of BTC within the next 72 hrs, but it generates a prediction end result every day, which really is a rating of 0 to 4. The range of place will be [-1,1], that's, short full place to long complete place. Take the average of the credit scoring results of the past three days and use it as today's place indicator to guide positions. For example, if the scoring outcomes of the past three days are 2, 3, 3, the average score from the three days is 2.67 points. The positioning of 2.67 in the interval [0, 4] is mapped towards the interval [-1, 1], Obtained that the existing position ratio ought to be 0.335, that's, use 33.5% of funds to visit long. Section 1 Technique Construction Based on this idea, three strategies can be constructed: Five-tier strategy: That's, the position percentage of -1, -0.5, 0, 0.5, 1 corresponds towards the rating of 0, 1, 2, 3, 4. This structure method is relatively neutral and will not add a priori subjective view of the marketplace , And the placements are relatively continuous, and the cost of repositioning is little; Five-layer pure lengthy strategy: that's, the position percentage of 0.2, 0.4, 0.6, 0.8, 1 corresponds towards the credit scoring of 0, 1, 2, 3, 4. This structure method includes a priori subjective view and believes that Bitcoin ought to be long-term Hold, so it's more suitable for the "coin hoarding party" (significance investors who hold digital assets for a long period) for short-term hedging of risks; Two-tier strategy: that's, utilizing the position percentage of -1, 0, 0, 0, 1 corresponds towards the credit scoring of 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, take notice of the grouping results in Chapter 3, you'll find the predicted grouping is in the extreme team ( The prediction effect of the first team and the 5th group) is relatively robust, as the prediction effect in the middle group (the next, third, and 4th group) is relatively fuzzy. For that reason, it could be considered to move short only once the market falls into the very first group, and move lengthy when it falls into the 5th group. Section 2 Technique Backtest The performance of the three strategies through the check period (Feb 1, 2020 to June 9, 2020) is shown in the figure: Body 4.1 Technique backtesting funds curve calculation commonly used strategy evaluation indicators, you may get: Table 4.1 Technique Evaluation Catalog Each strategy has achieved excess returns in accordance with online holdings of BTC. The Sharpe percentage from the two-tier strategy may be the highest. Using a risk-free price of return of 3%, Sharpe gets to 2.22. But by observing its collateral curve, it could be discovered that in most of that time period, the strategy is short because of the harsh opening conditions from the strategy. Too few open up positions mean that the evaluation from the strategy from the backtest results may very well be insufficient, and in a longer time of time, it could conflict with the observation outcomes of this backtest. For that reason, we do not believe this is a good strategy. . Weighed against the five-layer purely prolonged strategy, the five-tier strategy allows the short-selling strategy to accomplish significantly greater results. It is because through the backtest time period, BTC basically out of zero profit. Nevertheless, as a "coin hoarding party" or perhaps a loyal believer of BTC, this strategy can also hedge some short-term downside risks of BTC on their behalf. The best performing from the three strategies may be the five-tier long-short strategy. Through the backtest amount of about three weeks, nearly 30% of gains were acquired, the Sharpe percentage achieved 2.17, the maximum drawdown was only 10%, and the maximum holding percentage was 100%, that's, without any leverage, so there is no Theoretical threat of liquidation. This plan is also in line with a few of our thinking in investment activities: don't think the story, but have confidence in the fluctuations of the marketplace. Chapter 5 Overview In summary, in the large contract data of OKEx Swap, the sign lspr can play an improved guiding role in the future BTC marketplace. Intuitively, the average worth of lspr in the past three days will be adversely correlated with BTC comes back within the next 72 hrs, and big fluctuations in lspr usually indicate a high probability of rise. Making use of lspr data, we constructed a simple strategy. Through the time period from Feb to June 2020, the strategy achieved a 27% extra return in accordance with BTC, as well as the Sharpe percentage had been 2.17, which was an excellent performance. Limited by the amount of lspr data, the strategy check constructed in this article requires a short time, and there may be unstable performance in potential investments with more time duration. But in any case, lspr data can certainly extract market info from a exclusive perspective. Further analysis can blend multi-frequency and multi-variety lspr data with other effective factors to make more accurate estimates from the long-term and short-term tendencies of digital assets in the future market.

#crypto poker #crypto slots #crypto wheels #cryptogames #diamond reels

0 notes

njawaidofficial · 8 years ago

Text

'The Customer Is Always Wrong': Mini Pond Talks About Her Touching 1970s Memoir

http://styleveryday.com/2017/08/12/the-customer-is-always-wrong-mini-pond-talks-about-her-touching-1970s-memoir/

'The Customer Is Always Wrong': Mini Pond Talks About Her Touching 1970s Memoir

The 1970s are drawing to a close, and Madge — cartoonist Mimi Pond’s alter ego from her semi-autobiographical graphic novel Over Easy — is thinking about her future, at the same time as Lazlo, her closest friend, is doing the same, for very different reasons.

The Customer Is Always Wrong sees Pond, the celebrated National Lampoon and Los Angeles Times cartoonist, return to the Imperial Cafe — her alternate version of Mama’s Royal Cafe, where she worked in her youth — for the second half of her fictionalized memoir, following on from the critically acclaimed 2014 Over Easy. With the book in stores this week, Heat Vision talked to Pond about revisiting the past, and turning it into art.

The Customer Is Always Wrong continues Madge’s story from 2014’s Over Easy, but it’s a book as much about Lazlo, and those in and around the Imperial Cafe, as it is Madge herself. Despite that, the book never feels like it’s losing focus. How did you pare down what made sense to include, and what was peripheral to the experience you’re trying to share?

I knew Lazlo was at the heart of the the story, so all roads had to lead to him or be driven by him. I collected many stories from my former co-workers over the years I spent researching this, and the point wasn’t to make a factual or literal report of the real place, but to try to make the reader understand what it was like to have been a part of that time and place. So, episodes given to me were sometimes gutted for parts and assigned to other characters to make the narrative flow better.

Does the disclaimer at the start of the book, firmly identifying the story as a fictionalization of your experiences, grant you a sense of freedom when it comes to writing? Or responsibility? Somewhere between the two?

Fiction absolutely gives you much more freedom. The responsibility is in trying to make the characters three-dimensional and the story believable.

Customer really feels like a book filled with ghosts, to me: An Oakland that doesn’t exist anymore, a culture that doesn’t exist anymore, and people that don’t exist anymore, in more ways that one — everyone in the book seems aware of the transitory nature of their existence. I’m curious how much of that is your point of view as a writer today, and how much was present at the time? Madge seems to be aware of that, to some degree, to my eye.

This is a story I knew I had to tell from the first day I worked in that restaurant. For years, I didn’t even know what the story was, even though I was taking notes and making lists of potential characters. Then a certain inciting incident occurred — no spoilers here! — which made everything crystal clear to me.

Oakland had not even changed that much by the time I really knuckled down and began working on just writing it, around 2000. In fact, so little had changed that so many of the principal players were still kind of hanging out, slacker-style, still getting by with cheap rents and thinking it was going to stay that way. It’s really just in the last I want to say about seven years or so that things began dramatically changing in Oakland. Part of the charm for me was that nothing had changed since I lived there for so long, it was suspended in aspic and that made it easier to keep going back and studying it. Everything had changed for me, but it seemed like not much had changed there. The restaurant and the way it was run, of course, had changed, or it never would have survived, but the town itself stayed the same for a long time. How many people can go back to the place where they experienced their early 20s and kind of relive it whenever they want? If it’s elegiac at all, I think it’s because no one could go back to that time and place and relived it without a character like Lazlo.

One of the ways that the book feels so evocative — and is as powerful as it is — is that you seem fearless when it comes to subject matter: There are moments in here that seem honest and authentic in a way that is surprising, somehow. Was there a line in your head that you know you wouldn’t cross, in terms of what you would and wouldn’t show on the page?

There were absolutely some lines I didn’t cross, and some secrets I didn’t tell. What was most important to me, since I was writing fiction, was always the question, “Is it plausible?” I certainly wasn’t about to let current political correctness get in the way of conveying the ways in which people expressed themselves back then. Part of the hipster vibe of the ’70s was a very specific white privilege where they gave themselves permission to use racist terms in what they thought was an ironic way, words like “spade,” for example. They thought they were being ironic. You can’t hop in the time machine and go back and chide them! I was trying to just express how people were. Not so ironic was the general sense of completely proprietary sexism, for the most part. That was a wall there was no going around either.

On a more practical note, how was working on your second full-length graphic novel compared with creating Over Easy? I’m wondering how much the experience of the first book — not only making it, but promoting it and seeing the feedback to it — shaped the creation of the second, especially because they stand up so well as a double-act.

I initially wrote this book as a piece of conventional fiction, so it’s always been all one story, to begin with. The thought of it being a graphic novel was too overwhelming for me to wrap my mind around, so I wrote it as a novel. My agent couldn’t sell it and eventually I had to break down and admit to myself that, since I am a cartoonist, it really wanted to be a graphic novel. It wasn’t until after Drawn & Quarterly agreed to publish it that I became even more overwhelmed with managing the work on it, and that’s when they suggested we split it into two parts, which was a huge relief.

The big difference between the first half and the second was that my husband and I were raising two children and it was hard for me to find time to focus on it. By the time I had started on the second half, they were both out of the house so that I could make it my full-time job. The other thing was that with the first book, I was pretty much living under a rock while I was creating it — D&Q wanted me to separate the line art from the watercolor washes, so it was kind of impossible to show anyone the work in progress. After Over Easy came out and got some love, it gave me a lot more confidence. There was a momentum that built up with the second one that made me less inclined to rely on fancy visual tricks and splash pages and that kind of thing and simply drive that story home. I love Drawn & Quarterly for many reasons, but mostly because they simply trusted me.

The end of the book feels both like a conclusion and a beginning. Obviously, Madge’s life isn’t done when she leaves the West Coast — she’s based on you, and that was just the beginning of your career in many ways! — but in your mind, is this story finished? Is Customer the second half of a now-completed story, or merely the second chapter in the larger story of Madge’s experiences, which reflect your own?

For me, the story seems finished. Everyone wants to know what happens when Madge goes to New York, even my husband! But he was there! Once I got to New York, I was happy, so there’s so much less drama there. Everyone imagines Madge in this hazy 80s NYC dream where she’s at Danceteria every night and hanging out with Jean-Michel Basquiat, but honestly, I was never a club kid. I’m terrible at staying out late. There may be something there but you have to give me some time to ruminate on it. It’s an entirely different story.

Mimi Pond will be signing copies of The Customers Is Always Wrong at Skylight Books, 1818 N Vermont Ave in Los Angeles, from 5 p.m. A preview of the book is below.

#1970S #Customer #Memoir #Mini #Pond #Talks #Touching #Wrong

#1970s #Customer #Memoir #Mini #Pond #Talks #Touching #Wrong

0 notes

seafoam-blue · 8 years ago

Text

The Star by wuyifan95, deedee_zelo90 & alyssa_1998

Story link.

Story Title: 6/10

The story has fourteen chapters and I asked myself if I actually had time to read it. I find the title quite cute, if I say so myself. Yet, I can't seem to see the relevance it has to your story plot. I can sense a little connection but it's not a huge part of the whole story. A title needs to be effective to an extent it does accurately portray the message and plot of the story. A title also needs to be able to portray the story plot well without giving away too much. Your title, in my opinion, is vague in a good way but I can't seem to understand it and I'm really sorry.

Appearance wise I have to say it is quite mediocre, the title isn't a turn-off but it isn't really a hook either. It’s a bit on the plain side, and it sounds like something that many people would use. Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you get your title from EXO's The Star? I kinda guessed that because when I first saw your title, I was quickly reminded of that song which happens to be one of my favourites. I don't think the title is eye-catching enough, and that is one of the problems with naming a fanfic after a song. There are too many other fanfics with the same title and this will not help yours to stand out. Perhaps, you should come up with something more profound. You can try messing around with words, find something relating to the story yet not revealing the plot.

Foreword & Description: 11/15

Let's start with the description first, shall we? Your description is something safe as I'd like to call it. You pretty much summarized everything without giving away too much and that's good. It's not the best but it's fine to me. There are certain parts that caught my attention, so well done. There's one thing I'd like to talk about and that is your sentence construction. I don't know why but most of your sentences are really awkward to read, or maybe it's just me. Try to rewrite some parts in your description to make it more appealing and readable to the reader's eyes. You can ask your co-authors to help you or just ask for a beta-reader. I'm not sure if English is your first language but you do have a bit of wrong grammar from your description.

Original: Kris already has a girlfriend who he loves.

Correction: Kris already has a girlfriend whom he loves.

As you can see, a lot of people tend to get this mistaken. 'Who' vs. 'Whom'. I read a lot of fics where the author got these two words mixed up. Here's some explanation. From what I've studied, who should be used in the subject position in a sentence, while whom should be used in the object position, and also after a preposition. For example:

Who cooked this rice? (here, who is the subject of the sentence)

Whom do you think we should support? (here, whom is the object of support)

To whom do you wish to talk to? (here, whom is following the preposition to)

I hope you get the idea. I'm sorry if you don't understand what I'm trying to say. I'm really bad at explaining things, so forgive me.

Moving on to the foreword, I think everything's fine here. The only thing that needs a little touch-up is the sentence construction which I've mentioned before. The snippet you've given is nice, I have nothing to complain about. The only real problem I have with your overall description are your character descriptions where you introduced the three major characters and gave a brief outline of them. I feel that this is really unneeded as the details you gave under each character could have been introduced in the story rather than the foreword itself. It's fine if you're giving the readers and subscribers the important information, but never give away their personalities. Sometimes things should just be left hidden so that the readers can discover them themselves.

Characterization: 8/10

Here, I'll just talk about the three characters that seem dominant in my opinion, which are Kris, Hyuna and Lunia. I find that your characters are interesting, but they're not memorable or amusing to me. You developed your characters with dialogues instead of describing their actions and feelings. It's not wrong but it's not good either. Some readers might have a hard time grasping your characters and connect to them. I don't have a problem with it, though. I won't ask you change the way you write because you're probably comfortable with that style of writing. Different authors have different kinds of writing styles. It all depends on taste and preference so I won't say much.

Let's start off with Kris. Based on what you wrote, I think he's an idiot. I had neutral feelings for him. I didn't like Kris but at the same time I didn't hate him. I find his character irresponsible. He left Hyuna for 4 years without a good explanation and when he finally met her, he acted like nothing happened. Honestly, I wasn't satisfied with that. He even dared to stay the night with Hyuna and made out with her. That was absolutely unacceptable and unfair considering what he had done to the girl. Another thing is that he's currently having conflicts with his own feelings. He loves Lunia but at the same time he loves Hyuna. He might be irresponsible and stupid at some point, but I can still see that he's selfless. He left Hyuna for a reason and seeing how he kept the secret for so long, he must've have loved the girl very much. I can see that he has flaws which is good. I want to feel sorry for Kris, but he brought all the problems to himself and I really hope in the future chapters, he is able to make things right.

As for Hyuna, I think she is quite a strong-minded person. She won’t take it when someone tries to hurt her, she stands up for herself against Kris and I really like this aspect of her. She acts all tough when she's broken on the inside and I think this is portrayed really well. Taking a revenge on Kris was a dirty trick but after what she had been through, it's understandable and realistic. I realized that Hyuna wasn't the girl that she used to be. When she was in Canada, I saw that she was very bright and cheerful. She was also friendly as she was able to befriend Kris in a split second. But after what happened, she became cold and passive that she can't seem to interact with anyone other than her brother and her best friends. She detaches herself from other people because she doesn't want her trust to be betrayed again like what Kris did to her. She might have changed, but I can still see bits of her old traits in her because that's her true personality which I find you did a good job of portraying. I like her character.

Now, it's Lunia's turn. Lunia is an insane person that I can't even think of her as 'normal'. She's really bubbly, like really really bubbly. I had a hard time understanding her because to me, her personality was hard to grasp. I'm starting to wonder why the EXO boys treasure her so much when she comes off as clingy and spoiled, which makes her unlikeable to me. She feels like a 'Mary-Sue' who lacks layers as a character. She feels really flat and plain, and she did come off as unrealistic at one point. I gotta say that it annoys me that Sehun likes her because I honestly think he deserves better. I hope you will try to improve her character as the story goes on because there's nothing to it. One thing that doesn't make sense is that she keeps calling Kris 'oppa' when she's actually Chinese and Kris is also Chinese. I don't see the point why she calls Kris 'oppa' when they're both Chinese.

Summary/Plot: 15/20

So far, the plot for the whole story is not the most original plot out there because I've read a few fanfics before with the same idea. But then again, I can't say much about it because your story is still on-going. What I have to say about your plot though is that it’s interesting, believe me. I really do like your plot. I know with plots many readers have their own preference of what makes up a good story but with yours it already has a decent plot. The only problem is the flow and I will talk about it later in the flow section. I won't talk about originality because that doesn't matter to me. We see cliché fics everyday. I've also written a lot of fanfics with cliché plots before. Cliché isn't always bad. If you know how to deal with it, your story will do great. One more thing, please avoid using symbols for your chapter titles. It just looks messy for some reasons.

Grammar/Spelling: 10/20

This is possibly the weakest section you’ve done in and you need to understand this so I’m going to explain it as clearly as possible. I don't know if English is your first language or not because you didn't specify, but I have to say that your grammar really distracted me. I'm not a Grammar Nazi, I'm not even a native English speaker to begin with. But there were a handful of grammar mistakes I found throughout the story, and most of them are the very basic ones. Here are few to name: tenses, punctuation, spacing, vocabulary and also some sentences that didn't make sense; I would understand what you were trying to say, but the way you strung your words together sounded really awkward or the words were simply incorrect. I suggest you type your story in Microsoft Word before publishing it on AFF because it's really helpful. Microsoft Word is every author's best friend, as I'd like to call it. I know it's sometimes tiring to copy and paste your writing because I used to feel that way before, but it helps to fix our grammar and such. I want to list some of your mistakes but you disabled text selection, so I think you can ask your co-authors to fix them for you.

Organization/Flow: 5/15

The flow of your story felt extremely rushed (to me at least). My advice: don’t rush things. Stop and explain. Some events felt rushed, like the flashback with T.O.P and the engagement between Kris and Lunia. The transitions from one event to another in a chapter was not subtle and that really bothered me. The overall flow wasn't terrible just try to slow things down a bit and add more descriptions, but not too much or otherwise it'll be boring. I didn't quite like the POV change because I feel like everything can be written with the third person omniscient POV without adding all the characters' POVs.

Structure: 8/15

There’s nothing embarrassing to point out so don’t be scared over reading this section. You did pretty well in this section but I'd like to talk about your paragraph structuring. You tend to collapse your paragraphs into one big paragraph when there are certain parts that need to be separated. It looks scattered and inconsistent. I suggest that you make them shorter; a lot of your paragraphs could be written one by one. I also don't quite like how you bolded the dialogues. Bolds are mainly used to emphasize things. In your case, you're using it for dialogues and there's no need for that, to be honest. Just stick to normal colour and format for the dialogues. No bolds or italics, unless you want to emphasize something.

Bonus: 2/5

The story is good in its own way. I can say that there are aspects in writing that I know you can improve on. Your readers seem to enjoy your story a lot, and I think that's the most important thing when it comes to a story. Your story is fun to read, I enjoyed it. The only problems are your grammar and flow, so try to fix that as soon as you can. You have two co-authors to help you so I don't think there will be a problem.

Total: 65/100

Notes: Hi there wuyifan95! I know that you requested from muraskipandadreams to review your story but I had to take over it for some reasons. I'm really sorry this took so long. I had a problem with my computer a few days ago and I actually had to read your story one chapter a day because of my busy schedule. I hope I didn't come out too harsh and my review's helpful. I'm sorry if it didn't come out as you expected. I haven't been reviewing stories for months so I hope you understand the difficulties I had when I was working on your request. Hope you enjoy your review. Thanks for requesting!

reviewed on 8/7/2014

#asianfanfics #aff #reviews #seafoam-blue

0 notes