#for mental clarity. for science. for…. my sanity

[modernmanblues]

Colin Firth on Lynn Hirschberg’s Screen Tests for W magazine

[crowgirlpictures]

The Dumbest Things My Boyfriend Said to Me This Year (2024)

Sometimes, you hear something so ridiculous, you just have to write it down to believe it happened. This year, my boyfriend has outdone himself in ways that range from laughable to downright infuriating. Here are the greatest hits of his... questionable statements:

The Second Moon Theory Apparently, the second moon we had earlier this year was going to fall out of the sky. (Spoiler: It did not fall out of the sky.)

He Can See Dust Mites According to him, his eyesight is so advanced that he can literally see dust mites. I mean, NASA might want to hire him?

Rock Reincarnation Equals Suicidal Tendencies When I joked about wanting to come back in my next life as a rock, he told me it was a sign I was suicidal. Uh... no. Rocks are living a soft life.

Hysterectomy vs. Having a Baby He genuinely believes that a hysterectomy is a more painful and bigger commitment than having a baby. I can't even begin to unpack this one.

My Reproductive Health Saga My reproductive issues, in his infinite wisdom, must be caused by an untreated STI that has somehow been dormant and symptomatic at the same time for over a decade. Makes total sense... if you ignore science.

Mental Health = "Not Enough Sex" According to him, my mental health struggles boil down to one simple solution: have more sex. (Because that’s how therapy and brain chemistry work, obviously.)

Hypnosis for Sleep Issues His cure for my sleep problems? Hypnosis. No, I haven’t tried it. Yes, he’s asked more than once.

THC Is a Cure-All Every problem I’ve ever had—physical, mental, emotional—could apparently be solved if I just used THC. Forget the family history of psychosis, and the data showing it triggers that, but sure I’ll eat some candy and be chill.

Autism Accusation He once asked if I “made my son autistic” because I’m considerate of his needs and differences. I still don’t know what to say to this one. That is not how autism works.

“I Didn’t Think About Your Son” He admitted that when making decisions that impacted all of us, he simply didn’t think about my son. And that, folks, was the moment I knew I couldn’t do this anymore.

Why I’m Writing This

This isn’t about shaming him—it’s about getting this off my chest. I’ve tried to hold it together, but I’m unhappy in this relationship. Just when I think it can’t get worse, it somehow does.

I’m realizing now that I deserve better. My son deserves better. We both deserve someone who considers our needs, respects our boundaries, and doesn’t make me question my sanity on a daily basis. Writing this is my first step toward reclaiming that clarity.

To anyone else stuck in a similar situation: you’re not alone, and you don’t have to stay where you’re not valued.

[cultml]

Taking My Leave      1/3

Where’s my head? I don’t have the mental acuity to build clocks in my head but I do enjoy pondering their place, purpose and things that might fill their space, do their job. I don’t know if it’s just the limits of my mental bandwidth or an oddity, when the stress of what’s been the day to day drops my mind begins to play with all the various “clocks” I had forgotten existed. It’s become clear only having intermittent clarity lately how much one’s perception over time sifts. You loose some relatives, make an effort to get comfortable with your own death, but it’s the death of a pet when you see a real shift, an acceptance of the reality. You stare at the clouds, thinking about the creativity it takes to see animals, that real creativity is finding new patterns, that collecting parts, parts of ideas, of questions is the fuel. After three years of that you remember the wonder at just how much space there is in a clear blue sky,  not running numbers or how many towers or stadiums fit, just the enormity of the space. That wonders is… more of a memory now…. a kind of deep appreciation…. just a part of who you are. That’s a gain, a deepening?

I’ve been driving home at a different time of day. Passed this wooden privacy fence down a side road. The sun was at the right angle to cast a shadow on the fence from tree up the road a bit. It happened two or three days in a row. I was looking at shadows on the road, sidewalk, etc. and the contrast of flowers and ornamental to the bricks or fences behind them at that moment and the sun on…. I lost the eyes of a son and grandson of carpenters, that spent their lives pouring foundations. The cement and sticks of it hadn’t entered my head in… years? I could summon it. I had no desire to do so. I had seen the world that way for so long… I am not constrained by it any more. I lost something that was a part of me  more free for it. The things that cross my mind in five minutes of a drive when stress and garbage is put aside. Lose and a gain? Integration of forgetting? Recently listening to Rick Beato, is changing the way I hear music (the music not the lyrics). It’s a reminder of the time is takes for real art….. still don’t have a handle on it. The complexity of it, the parts of the music, just to waste so much on lyrics that are a total misunderstandings of the world. It’s a gain of understanding not really of my making. All that to let you judge my sanity a bit and to seed the ground.

I am of the firm belief that a golden age is possible, though not probable. You in part have thank the progressives et al. for it. They have systematically destroyed all the institutions. The doors are open and the constants are gone. It’s not just the US alphabet soup or the broader shadow NGOs. It’s medicine. Too best practice / license orientated, with the guy that graduates last from med school problem to start. Then what I hope where good docs got caught behind accept transgenderism best practice or loose your license. To your fired if you don’t take the  experimental vaccine. Democracy is down the same road. The military and science and art and virtue and...  We have undone a couple of centuries of work.

The beginning of this is the the most important one, “ the death of God”. It’s better though of as the loss of the necessity for a supernatural explanation of day to day hardships. Less hardships and more knowledge was always going to lead us there, progressives not needed. Arguing if God was alive or not kept us from arguing if the moral order was sound or not. It may be the biggest human mistake. So now a couple millenia of advancement is on the table. The left can’t see the opportunities, they have their plans. The “right” ... for fuck sake. God and the church are dead. You can’t legislate morality. What worked may not be the only thing that works. Reversion to what was is not a reformation, in fact reversion slows reformation. And using government to do it.

People don’t seem to understand ideas are boundaries are walls. One wall must be torn down because the utopia lay just beyond it and the next must never be touched because it keeps hell at bay. The truth it’s neither and both. We want to argue about the walls when we should learn to build windows. The are two relevant ideas from Peterson. First that artists should be exploring the boundaries of the unknown, that is in fact their job.  To do that you have to first try and understand and explain the known at the edges. In doing that they should be illuminating possible paths forward. The second is that better is something that does everything the old thing did and more. So that cheap small appliance from the box store is more efficient? cheaper? more durable...? So different not better. Better is a hard thing. Creativity of and calculated risks by individuals are the only way to better. A society has to be build for those who can discover wisdom as well as those who will never understand it.

Getting people worked up about CRT is fine, what about 1619 project or a hundred other things. Explained simply, teach children that they are not an individual but a member of a group all the rest comes in and you have already lost... by third grade or so. You have people like Charlie Kirk..... clearly branded as an enemy of the left , that is increasing seen as an enemy of America, leading the charge against vaccinations for returning collage students even those who have had Covid. It’s a simple sane augment that is the sorts of weapons you need....now lost because dumdum had to plaster his face all over it. And the infrastructure bill and the Jan6 hearing, and this and that and so on. Both of the “sides” are hopelessly lost in their own realities.  You want to use what we know and really try something new, to try and foster an actual reformation, to try to open a door to a possible golden age.... they are both in the damn way.

[carolinemillerbooks]

New Post has been published on Books by Caroline Miller

New Post has been published on https://www.booksbycarolinemiller.com/musings/abandon-fear-ye-who-enter-here/

Abandon Fear Ye Who Enter Here

A friend of mine took a series of tests to determine her mental decline as she aged. Happily, for her, the tests were comforting.  Even so, I admired her courage.  What she’d done was like poking a sleeping bear with a sharp stick.  If the news hadn’t been good, how would she have coped? Alzheimer’s, for example, has no cure. Early intervention is key for dealing with Alzheimer’s, experts say.  But to what end? A few months of clarity before drifting into that good night and all the while knowing the Good Ship Memory has left the dock? When there is little to be gained, I prefer not to know. Many will think differently.   Fear affects us in different ways. It can leave us catatonic and in denial. Or, like people prancing across hot coals, it can initiate a frenzy to save ourselves.  In every case, fear tests our sanity. People like my friend who face reality with courage leave me in awe. Pete Buttigieg, the U. S. Secretary of Transportation, is also unflappable. Asked about the current state of our democracy, his answer is matter-of-fact.  Our system of government is designed to pick winners and losers.  For the process to work, people have to accept outcomes. Buttigieg’s response is so simple, it smacks of naïvite.  That’s the beauty of truth.  Once grasped, It is simple and profound, like E=MC(2).  Finding the truth is where the complexity lies. After two years and several ballot box investigations, ending with no evidence of wrongdoing, some Americans continue to believe Donald Trump won the 2020 election. They believe the lie because that is the outcome they wanted– as if wishing could make it so.  Like flat-earthers living in a spherical world, they close their eyes to truths that distress them.     If the outcome of an election is difficult to grasp, for many the knowledge that climate change is about to exterminate our species is unfathomable. Vladimir Putin’s invasion of Ukraine arises from that consummate ignorance. Ukraine belongs to Russia, he insists. But what does that mean to a dead planet? Absurdity’s crown goes to Iran’s Mullahs, of course. They worry about women’s headgear while the ground crumbles beneath their feet.   If the flat-earthers and their ilk would open their eyes, they’d see the time for rancor is passed.  We must work together if we are to save our species. Unfortunately, too many scrunch their eyes against the light.  They insist Time has a reverse gear that if thrown would return us to better days. Better days aren’t the same for everyone, as we know.  White supremacists long for the era when they were allowed to see themselves as superior beings, a superiority that justified imperialism and slavery. People like Marjorie Taylor Green cling to the notion of race.  It flies in the face of science but it serves her purpose. “…illegal aliens are on the verge of replacing you [whites], replacing your jobs and replacing your kids in school and coming from all over the world, they’re also replacing your culture.  And that’s not great for America. By 2050, half of the U. S. population will have darker skin pigmentation than today’s mix. Pigment means nothing. We don’t discriminate against people based on hair color. Why concern ourselves with skin? Race warriors should attend to the date 2050 for a different reason. That’s the year scientists predict the earth becomes uninhabitable for humans.   Fear can galvanize people into action, as I’ve said. Too often the outcome ends in mindless hate. Ukrainians are as pigment deprived as any Russian.  Even so, one propagandist for Putin’s invasion insists the children of his enemy should be drowned and burned.  Why are people “freaking out?” a researcher asks in response to the times. No one has an answer. Like the stars, black holes, and the universe, being made of stardust, perhaps humans sense the cosmos is shedding tears for our demise.  Is there a cosmic consciousness? Some speculate it exists. To align ourselves, they urge us to move beyond science.  As useful as reason is to us, they insist it is  too narrow a framework to integrate other aspects of the mind, creativity, intuition, or empathy, for example. To discover a different harmony, our inner world will have to experience a shift of epic proportions. The evolution could take a century. Unfortunately, we are running out of time and so we blind ourselves to the future, choosing to engage in a frenzied suspicion of  “the other.”  Reason has no power against the fires of insanity. Insanity must burn itself out, taking us with it.    I cringe to hear talk about saving the planet.  What colossal hubris.  Earth will spin on its axis regardless of rises in temperature and water levels. A few birds might continue to sing. Climate change is about us.  Will we decide to work together or close our eyes to what lies ahead?  Which is to be,  earthlings?  Courage or cowardice?   

[codylabs]

Chapter 25: The End of Fate

Links: P 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

Wendy strained one last time at the webs holding her to the wall. She thought she felt a few strands breaking near her legs, but their failure did nothing to weaken the rest of the material. In fact, the more she wiggled around and tried to loose herself, the more the webs just stuck and mashed together, the more they bonded to her skin, and the more her muscles yielded to fatigue. After a minute or so she gave up, no closer to freedom and feeling significantly more like a cocooned insect.

She could move her fingers. She could move her toes. She could move her neck and her eyes, but that was the limit of her. Her arms, legs, torso, all her body… It no longer obeyed her. All she could do was stare at the monster, as it stared back.

The Shapeshifter’s mother. Some kind of time-traveling mystery character, who’d seen thousands of years of history, who’d killed people throughout them, who seemed to know everything, and who most likely ate people. Wendy could feel the eyes probing and inspecting, as indifferently as one might regard a museum piece, or a slab of meat.

The beast took a step toward her.

She could kill me. Wendy knew. She could kill me if she wanted, and I can’t even move.

…Wait, was she an ‘it’? Or was it a ‘she’? Wendy briefly wondered to herself. A person or a thing? How do you refer to intelligent creatures which act like this? Are they still rational beings? Or can you really be so evil and twisted that you forsake your own soul?

Wendy was quite too mad to really care.

“Let me down.” She told her, as she came closer. “Come on, you grimy old sack of phlegm! Let me down or I’ll beat the living daylights out of you! Come on!”

She stopped about 3 feet from Wendy, and peered down at her face. “I thought I gagged you.” She replied calmly, as she inspected the stray scraps of webbing around Wendy’s mouth.

“Yeah, well, maybe you should use more than weird spider webs next time.” Wendy growled. “Something I can’t just chew up and spit out.”

“Probably good advice.” Her head widened slightly, and her teeth shapeshifted into some kind of slobbering, many-tendrilled orifice, which then secreted a stringy mass of webbing. She rolled the material into a tight ball with her hands.

“Well, it’s just common sense.” Wendy tried to shrug. “I mean, if I had some alien tied up in my basement, you can bet I’d make darn su—” She squeezed Wendy’s cheeks, forced her mouth open, shoved the ball in between her teeth, and pasted it in place with another web across her face.

Wendy took a deep breath in through her nose, as she silently glared.

The creature calmly wiped the excess gunk off her hands, then eased to a seated position on the floor. They were both silent for a moment, one by necessity, one for thought.

“I know lots of things.” The shifter finally remarked. “From lots of times, from lots of places.”

“Mmf mf.” Wendy retorted.

“Some of them happen to be about you.” She said. Her body rearranged into the form of Mr. Sherman, her PE coach from grade school. “Wendy Blerble Corduroy…” Mr. Sherman’s voice hummed with perfect clarity. “You did pretty well on the football and wrestling teams during elementary and middle school… And word on the street is, you ‘kind of ruled’ in the annual lumberjack games…”

“Rgf mmf.” The gag made it easy to hide her confusion. Wait a minute, was Mr. Sherman the shapeshifter all along? How does THAT make sense? What the heck?

The shifter’s form changed again, this time solidifying as a short, intense Asian man: Mr. Chiu, her science teacher from just last year… “Although both your grades and extra-scholastic endeavors declined steadily through your teen years.” Mr. Chiu’s voice told her. Wait a minute! Wendy thought. Mr. Chiu has a human daughter. He couldn’t have been her all along… She must have… Wait, what? “Perhaps.” The image of Mr. Chiu continued. “Was it because you discovered friends in lower circles? Or as you became increasingly disillusioned with the world…?” She transformed into Toot-Toot McBumbersnazzle, aka Blind Ivan. “Or perhaps as the late Blind Eye Society trimmed back your working knowledge whenever you happened across something you ought not see…” Okay, there’s no WAY that HE was her this entire time… So how DOES she know so much…? It morphed again, and she was looking at and listening to her own dad… “However it worked, you got it through yer noggin’ that everything ya did was just useless and pointless… Guess ya figured on how easy it was to sit on your butt and do nothing at all. So ya threw yer life away, and turned inta the lazy one…”

Wendy glared.

The mimic of her father leaned in a little closer. “Yeah, that’s it, ain’t it? The Wendy that allll them school records show. Always so darn chill, always calm, level, and cool… But as far as the world’s concerned, less than useless…” It sounded and felt like her own dad talking. Gruff as ever. Candid as ever. Right as ever…

The shape changed again, to Stanley Pines. “No…” Her former employer scratched his chin skeptically, and adjusted his glasses. “No it’s not. That’s ain’t you, not anymore. Now I hear yer doing better in school, ya had a hand in eliminating the Blind Eye, in that rascal Bill’s defeat, and now in even deeper, stranger matters…”

She took the form of Robbie, which set off some alarm in Wendy’s mind, as she remembered that Robbie was probably dead… “You, like, don’t fear anything at all…” Robbie’s voice told her. “You fight robots on Tuesday, Aliens on Wednesday, ghosts on Thursday… All sorts of crazy adventures, you’re probably real close to a lot of things you really shouldn’t see…” And now the shifter looked like Tambry. “People don’t ever change.” Tambry told her. “They get changed. So why are you different all of a sudden? What changed you? Your job at the tourist trap selling junk? Mr. Pines, that old jerk you worked for?” Tambry put her hands on her hips. “Or something else, like your new friends?”

Now the shifter shrunk down to the size of a child. A very familiar size. A very familiar shape… Before Wendy had a chance to mentally prepare herself to look at this, she found her eyes locked with those of Dipper. “Was it me?” It was his voice again, his old, familiar, youthful voice. The voice tore into the weird corners of Wendy’s mind, upsetting everything, confusing everything; she was defenseless against it. Dipper. She blinked. DIPPER! She tried to shake her head. Dipper’s dead… Dipper! “…Was it Dipper…?” Dipper asked.

Wendy couldn’t quite find words.

“Sorry.” The Dipper mimic smiled awkwardly. “I didn’t mean to ramble. I guess… I guess what I really want to get down to is the cause of things. Why are you the way that you are? What happened, where, when… What made you? If it was Dipper, then what made him who he was? Who guided you? Trained you? Inspired you, knighted you, blessed you? What force of fate, chance or choice placed this destiny in your lap, and bid you go and become a hero?”

What a strange thing to ask.

“You do know.” The Dipper mimic insisted. “I know you’re not stupid, I know you know what I’m asking… Just c’mon, please Wendy?” The intonation of his voice matched Dipper’s so perfectly for a moment that she couldn’t help but recoil. Dipper’s hands reached up and peeled the gag off her mouth. “Like, c’mon, I can tell there’s something you’re not saying. Maybe many things? …No, just one thing… Yeah, there’s one secret you swore to always keep from me, and what’s that? C’mon, you can tell me… I mean, why not at this point, huh? Ha ha… Yeah…”

Wendy flexed her jaw, enjoying the ability to once again breath freely. Dipper’s hand reached up and brushed gently across her cheek. The thin, cold little fingers felt just exactly like his… Cognitive dissonance hit like another wet slap, as half her brain believed for a moment that it was him.

But of course, it wasn’t. And she didn’t believe it. “Go die in a hole, you PSYCHO!” She screamed.

“Whaaaat, c’mon Wendy!”

“You—”

“Hey now, you don’t want me to use the tentacles.”

“The? Wait, tenta—”

“I guess I wouldn’t mind though.” Two of the fingers on Dipper’s hand grew and expanded into a pair of stiff, thin, sharp little appendages, which he then shoved up Wendy’s nostrils.

It hurt.

Wendy thrashed around, tried to pull away, tried to turn and hide her face, tried to reach her hands in to help, but nothing worked; they were working their way deeper into her skull. Wendy’s furious struggling managed to break some of the webs holding her head in place, but the extra movement just made the probes hurt a hundred times worse.

IT HURT.

“You.” Dipper said. “Who were you? Who are you? And why?”

Wendy emitted a furious cry; a guttural, feral sound she didn’t know she had in her, and arched up to try to bite the hand. Her teeth clacked in the empty air.

Dipper’s voice burst out laughing. “An animal!” He said, as he drug Wendy’s head back down to face forward. “An animal pretending to be a person! A person priding in its ingenuity, modesty, fair judgement, rationality; the kinda things that set it above the beast. But deep, deep down, beyond the walls of faith and friendship, only nature remains. Now that you have lost these things, you’re getting the point where you cross the line. Maybe you already crossed it?”

“Die! In! A! Hole!” She managed.

“How can you say that? Look at your body, sick, weak, helpless, invaded, bound… It’s not your body, it’s mine now, and I see it as nothing but so much meat… So what do you hang on to? How can you spit in my face, when you dangle precariously at the end of yourself? Why aren’t you afraid? Do you believe yourself to be strong? Indestructible? Or is this fleshy body nothing but meat to you as well? What made you into this thing, this thing that thinks itself fearsome?”

“NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!”

“Remember everything you still have left to lose! Your sanity! Your honor! Your dignity! Your soul! How long until there is nothing left of Ms. Corduroy for me to speak to? How long until there’s nothing on this wall but a wild, snarling dog?!?”

“YOU SHUT UP!” Wendy screamed.

The lights flicked off in the room, leaving Wendy with no perception of the world except the sloppy sounds of creature’s movement, the taste of her own blood, and the pain…

She felt the fingers curling inside her nose, pulling her forward. Then they pushed, and slammed her head against the metal wall behind her. Then they pulled again, and they slammed again, and again, and now her entire head hurt and she could barely concentrate, and she could feel something inside her head splitting and stinging, as if with every blow was drilling the dreaded things deeper, closer to her brain.

Tiny, sharp, incredible pains shot through her arms and legs now too, and she guessed the shapeshifter must have put other limbs to work as well, poking and prodding and crawling over her like the probing limbs of some spidery thing, drilling and cutting and who knows what else. And all through it, there was just this darkness, hiding whatever else may be in store…

Why is this even happening? Why does it have to hurt? And why do I care whether this THING knows or not anyway? It’s not like it’s super important, or even true… What’s the point in keeping secrets? What’s the point in screaming threats? What’s the point in even trying? Just kill me! KILL ME!

All alone, in great pain, at the end of everything, Wendy finally panicked.

“11:03 THIS MORNING!” She gasped.

The pounding ceased. The poking and the stabbing paused.

“What was that, red?” Dipper’s voice asked.

“Eleven…” Wendy screwed her eyes shut, and felt tears trickle down her face. “Eleven-oh-three this morning… This morning… You’ll see… My secret…”

Slowly and painfully, the fingers pulled out of Wendy’s nose.

She sneezed up blood.

“Broken at last.” The creature remarked in its natural voice.

The gag was crammed back in her mouth, the loosened webs were reinforced, and then the monster retreated. She must have had a second time machine besides the one she gifted her son, because she promptly disappeared in a flash of blue light, leaving Wendy alone.

All seemed suddenly quiet and still… But not empty. All around her, she could feel the evil standing; threatening, near, haunting… It was danger, it was fear, this malignant force that watched and taunted and worked deeper, searching out those corners of her brain that hadn’t yet been violated. And one by one, as hopeful thoughts stood, up, it crushed them down, reminding her that she was broken, and helpless, and small. Nothing but a tiny, squealing animal, hanging on the wall.

She blinked.

I need to escape…

Wendy knew she couldn’t escape.

I need to bust loose…

How on Earth could she ever bust loose?

I need to stay conscious. Alert…

That was looking difficult…

I need to think…

Wendy couldn’t think.

I need to think…!

She wasn’t good at thinking.

I NEED TO THINK!

She never had been the thinking one. She was just the athletic one. The fighting one. The level one. The calm one. Dipper was the thinking one. Dipper was the creative one. Dipper was the hero, and I was just his crush. Just his sidekick. Just there to make sure he didn’t get hurt…

Dipper…

I knew you.

Know you.

I was your crush. I was your protection. And I was your calm.

Now I guess I’ve failed all three.

She sneezed again. Her chest heaved painfully, and more blood dribbled over her lips and down her chin. Dipper… She could barely breath, past her flooded nose and the gag in her mouth, so she gasped and wheezed every breath, as she croaked, and coughed, and cried, and bled. I’m sorry… I never told you that you were a great guy…. I never told you how much you meant to me… I let you die, left you for others to bury, I just stormed off and got myself here… And now I panicked… And now I played the fool with a monster who doesn’t even know you… I gave up my secret… I gave up OUR secret… She cried and she bled. I’m sorry…

He wasn’t who the shifter pretended to be. He wasn’t that. He wouldn’t say or do those things, wouldn’t taunt her for not being as indestructible as she seemed…

What would he say if he were here?

If Dipper were here…

Well. First of all, he’d probably be all like: ‘Wait, what secret? What’s so special about 11:03?’ He was a curious guy; always did have a hard time knowing when to mind his own business.

Wendy scraped her cheek against her shoulder as hard as she could, and managed to loosen some of the webs holding the gag in place. After a minute or so, she was able to get her tongue past the edges of it, and break the rest of the strings. Then she spat the ball to the ground, and was able to breathe easily again. The oxygen was little reconciliation for the rest of her suffering, and she may have swallowed some of the sticky gunk by accident.

If Dipper were here…

‘At 11:03 this morning…’ She would have muttered to him. ‘I… Kinda let Stan in on my secret… If creepy-face warps back to then, she’ll know too… Ha ha… I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t going crazy, that’s why I told Stan… But I guess I’m still not sure… Guess I’ll never know…’

He would’ve been quick to deny her angst. ‘You’re not crazy… Y’know the stuff she said about being an animal isn’t true. You… You’re not. You’re not crazy. You’re not.’

‘… I guess everyone reaches a point, dude… Guess it just takes one bad day…’

He wouldn’t be quite sure how to counter that. ‘So… I dunno. So what’s the secret?’ He would’ve changed the subject.

Yeah, I never did tell him that one. Real shame, because I guess it was his secret as well as mine… If he were here, if things were looking this bad, I guess I probably would have admitted it to him. If we’re both to die, he deserves to know. She would have told him. ‘…I met myself last fall.’ She would’ve blurted reluctantly. ‘My future self. She came time-traveling back from maybe a decade down the road, and she talked to me… So she’s a big part of the reason I’m working harder in school, going on these adventures, and doing better with things in general… Like Momma Shifter said, I got changed…  Didn’t want her to know, because… I don’t know. It’s private. It’s cool… And after everything I lost, I didn’t want to lose that too…’

‘Woah… What was she like?’ Wendy turned her head to the left in the darkness. If Dipper had been here with her, he would have been captured too. He would’ve been webbed up in the empty spot next to her… She imagined him there now, and wondered again if she really was going crazy.

‘Uh… Real chill… Real chill.’ Wendy recalled. ‘Totally decked out in futurey gear though, like some kinda time-cop. She was wearing this big robotic suit of armor, she had weapons, and a time machine…’

‘…Did she say anything about me?’ Dipper would have asked. Well, no, actually he wouldn’t say that. He’d just think that. Out loud, he’d just nervously mumble something lame like… ‘Huh, wow. Robot suit, huh?’

‘Heck yes she mentioned you.’ Wendy would have replied. ‘Yeah… She said you were a great guy. An example to learn from, even… In fact!’ Wendy crossed the point of no return, and spat it out. ‘She said! She said that you end up being my husband for some reason! We’re married! How ‘bout that?’

That would have taken a couple seconds to sink into his brain. And then he would have freaked out for a several minutes at least.

‘Yeah, c’mon, see? See why I never told you?’ She would’ve scoffed, tried to downplay it. ‘You make this whole relationship weird and awkward enough without me dropping the “oh-hey-it’s-destiny-or-something!” bomb in the middle of things.’

‘WELL! BUT! I! UGH! AH! WHAT?!’

‘Look… Just calm down, it doesn’t matter, all right? I mean… It’s not even true. You’re dead. And now I’ll be dead. Somehow it wasn’t real… And now I don’t even know what’s happening! Everything’s falling apart and dying so fast; you, my friends, my dad… And to top it off, I sang like a canary after a measly 5 minutes of torture! I lost my calm! She got to me…! Like, what’s the point in even trying? I’m not strong any more… Dipper, if I’m not the strong one, then who am I?’

He would’ve forced his mind back on-topic; he was good at that. He would’ve thought about it all for a minute, trying to think of something wise to say. Then he’d finally say it, and it wouldn’t be very wise at all; just sweet and simple and caring… Something like, ‘Don’t you remember? You’re a flippin’ Corduroy!’

‘A flippin’ Corduroy…’ She sighed. ‘…Why did you idolize me so much, dude? Everything meaningful I ever did was just because I had to or because I was bored…’

‘Well—’

‘You know you could’ve done better than me… Guy like you could’ve set your sights higher; fallen in love with somebody beautiful and talented… A genius, or a super hero, or a princess…’

‘UH…!’ He would’ve hurried to interject ‘W-w-would it, like, be too cheesy to say you’re a princess to me?’

‘Oh my friggin’…’ She tried not to roll her eyes. ‘You…! Oh… Geez, okay, focus. C’mon Dipper. C’mon, help me out here, look at this rationally, what do I DO? How do I get out of this? I can’t fight time-traveling monsters, can I? Time traveling monsters that can be anyone, do anything…’

‘Well… I don’t… Uh…’

‘You have to know! I got myself into this mess, and now you have to get me out of it! Come on… You always know! You’re the smart one! You’re always able to ad-lib some kinda plan! Always!’

‘Umm… I don’t know… Oh man, I wish I could reach my journal…’

Wendy’s eyes drifted across the darkened room to the place where it was lying among her other confiscated stuff. ‘I can’t reach it either… But well, hey, I have been reading it the last couple nights since you died, so I remember a lot of it… Why?’

‘It’s got my notes on time travel…’

‘Uh… Oh, wait wait, yeah, I read those! I read them… What about ‘em?’

‘Well… Okay, think. Think about it: When did you see your future self?’

‘Huh?’

‘When did you see her? Before I died, or after?’

‘Before! Duh… I tried to write down a time and date to bring her back AFTER you died… But she didn’t show…’

‘Okay… Okay… Okayokayokay… Okay, So! Why wouldn’t she show up after Sam killed me?’

‘Umm…’ Wendy thought about that. Up to now, she’d just blindly accepted that something changed; that for some reason, it didn’t work anymore. But why? She tried to put it together. ‘Maybe… Maybe when he killed you, he changed the future? Yeah, so in this reality, I die right now instead of later, so she isn’t able to come back for me…’

‘But if you die right now, then how would she have been able to come back in the first place? If this is the way the future goes, then how could she ever have existed?’

‘The future changed…’

‘No no no! Remember my notes! What did I say?’

‘Uh…’ Wendy racked her brain. ‘I don’t… There wasn’t anything in there about this. Just one part about you trying to fix a mistake and then something about a baby and some gladiator battle…’

‘The first one. The mistake. Do you remember what happened?’

‘Well… I remember you were pretty vague; what was the mistake again?’

‘Doesn’t matter. All that matters is what happened! What happened? Remember!’

‘Uh… Well… Didn’t you say it didn’t work for some reason? Right? Yeah… You said it didn’t work…’

‘Right!’

‘And then…’

‘Then?’

‘Then one time… You said you tried really really hard, and actually did change it… But even then, circumstances forced you to go back in time by your own free will, and change it back…’

‘Exactly. No matter what I did, no matter WHAT, fate intervened to set history on its proper course… Even when I succeeded in one place, another place failed. Eventually even I gave up.’

‘Okay… So what does that mean?’ Wendy forced herself to think. ‘What does that mean, how does it all connect?!? Does that mean no matter what I do, I’m gonna die here?’

‘No! It just means that there’s only one reality, Wendy. You can’t change the future more than an inch, and even if you do, it’ll iron out the wrinkles itself. It’ll stabilize… And… And now this is great! This is great! Because remember, you’ve seen the future!’

‘…The future where I become… Like, a time-travely warrior thing?’

‘Yeah! Where we’re mar—’

‘Shut up.’

‘Ah! Sorry. I mean…! …I mean that future-you must have come from a time after all this… After the wrinkles get ironed out. After reality stabilizes. Which means that after today, after whatever happens next, somehow that’s the reality that’ll remain. And that’s probably why she couldn’t come back to today! Because this time is fated to get decay out and disappear. Get replaced…’

‘But…’

‘But what?’

‘…But how? What do I do to do that?’

‘Umm…’ Dipper came up short. This was as far as his optimistic reasoning took him, and he really didn’t know what to say next. ‘Well… I… I dunno. Time logic says something has to happen… I think… I guess you might outsmart her, or you might outfight her, or outfox her or out-time her… Uh… Heck, it might not be you; maybe somebody else entirely will find a way to change things. But I’m pretty sure something has to happen sometime, and if you’re the last one left, then… It’s pretty much up to you… It’s like destiny or something.’

‘But… Are you sure? What if… I mean, you don’t know everything. Your journal doesn’t know everything. What if this is all just… Stupid wishful thinking…?’

‘…You tell me; are you sure that it was you last fall? The time traveler?’

‘…Yes.’

‘And…’ His voice would have faltered just slightly. ‘Are you sure that that future is something you want?’

‘Well…’ Wendy thought for a minute.

If he were here, he would be trying not to stare at her, but still hanging on her every word, waiting for her reply. He’d said all he could say, and now he wanted to know if she would fight to the bitter end. Whether or not she could still keep her faith, even when everything seemed to be standing in the way, even after everyone who could ever help was gone, even if unspeakably twisted beasts tried to cut their way into her mind. He wanted to know if she would be willing to fight to the death to save him. He wanted to know if she loved him.

Wendy almost laughed when she realized what was being said. ‘Well, duh! Come on dude, of course!’

He would have nodded nervously; he was still a little stressed, a little overwhelmed, a little frightened. But now, he knew how she felt. He knew her secret. He wished he didn’t know it, because yeah: it did make everything weird. But still, he knew that this weak and hopeless prisoner would one day be his wife.

He believed it.

So he would have found a way to smile, and ask. “Then what are we waiting for?”

Wendy awoke with a start.

Just a dream.

…Just a dream? Naw… Naw, wait a minute, why would I have been sleeping anyway? Blood loss? Shock? General weirdness? No, that’s no reason to sleep… And that wasn’t a normal dream either… I dunno, that must’ve been Dipper’s ghost or some crap! …Or a wizard. Or some kinda time-traveling pseudo-memories from a timeline that never happened. Or the Shifter using psychic powers to deceive me… Or maybe it was just some kinda weird, prophetic dream that happens because… Reasons…

Oh, who am I kidding? It was nothing! Nothing at all… Everyone knows dreams never mean anything at all.

Of course they don’t.

But meaning or not, it made sense. It actually made a whole gob of sense.

She believed it.

Wendy shook her head to clear the last of her confusion, then took a deep breath to prepare herself. Her nose was still totally clogged up, but at least the bleeding had stopped, and she’d gotten that blasted gag loose.

Please God. She thought to pray. Make it all true. Help this all turn out alright.

She began to breath really heavily and quickly. She’d heard of scuba divers doing this before a deep dive; it’s to flood the body with oxygen and give you more energy.

When she felt fully riled up, she threw her entire weight to the left, curled with her left arm and pulled on her right, trying with every ounce of strength to pull it loose. When the webs digging into her wrist became too excruciating to bear, she threw herself to the right and tried to pull her left arm loose. That didn’t work either.

Dang it.

She relaxed after a moment, defeated yet again.

But when she wiggled her shoulders, she found the bands to be loosened at least partially. Maybe if she tried again in a couple minutes, after her muscles stopped hurting, and then another couple minutes after that, and again after that… Maybe she could eventually get free? It all depended on how long the shifter would take to get back… What was taking so long, anyway?

“Thought I gagged you.” The voice interrupted.

Wendy jumped. The voice unnerved her, startled her, reminded her of the pain that was still so near, and filled her imagination with pain to come… Before Wendy had time to fear, she reminded herself that she angry.

Bitterly, furiously angry.

Wendy Corduroy. Angry Corduroy. Flippin’ Corduroy.

There was gonna be payment. There was gonna be pain.

“You do realize I was able to just reappear the split second I left, don’t you?” The monster asked, with a tone like a smirk.

Wendy’s voice came out rather calm. Surprisingly calm, even to her. “…Oh yeah, I knew that.” She nodded smoothly. “Simple time logic, that’s what that is… So hey, I guess you know my secret now? How you like it? Bet you’re pretty surprised to find out you’ve got a time traveler locked in your basement, huh?”

“No… Not really. I get all types…” The lights in the room flicked back on. They weren’t very bright all considering, but after perfect blackness, Wendy still felt like blinking. The monster gestured to one of the skeletons on the wall. The body was human; and seemed to have some kind of cybernetic thing hanging from one eye socket. Its torso was plated in dusty, dark grey armor. “That one was a time traveler too.” She said, as she wiped a bit of dust off the hourglass insignia on the breastplate. “Lieutenant something-or-another. Very brave old man, very proud. Wouldn’t speak a word besides his name and rank… At least at first. But he cried out for his mother days later, and now I know all that he knew.” She pointed to another human cyborg skeleton. “That one, also a time traveler. He was head of his class at the time-academy, but applied all that knowledge just three and a half seconds too late.” She pointed again, this time to the lanky, squid-like skeleton of one of the ship’s crewmembers. “And the clever nuclear engineer. He knew every single bolt and beam of this vessel, and yet he failed to hide from me. That one? Top security officer of the whole place. He didn’t want to surrender the drone control codes, but such is the way of things… That one? A most prestigious scientist, master of everything from nanobiology to embryotic mutation decay. One of the smartest men I’ve ever talked too, he almost convinced me not to eat him. And her? Ex-convict. Stowed away on the ship to escape a death sentence on her homeworld. She devised all kinds of clever ways to escape from me too, but you can see how they ended. That one?” The shifter pointed to a metal skeleton, with clawed hands, a mouthful of saws, and dead aluminum eyeballs that had never quite rotted. “You know him; maybe even met him… Yes? Last survivor of a colony of intelligent machines. He was a truly great man in his life. Intelligent. Determined. Prepared. And an entirely good and noble man as well, stood for nothing but truth, honor, and the safety and preservation of loved ones… But he’s gone like the rest… Such a shame.”

“Yeah.” Wendy shrugged. “Nice collection… But, uh… None of them were destined to kick your butt though.”

The shifter turned to her. “So.” Her voice grated menacingly, like the tearing of cloth. “You claim a future version of yourself came into your life and directed you to become who you are… I’m sure it was a strong and powerful woman that came striding forward, reaching out to you as if out of your imagination, out of a dream, a wish, a vision, and made itself come true… Except it didn’t. Over time, this hard life beat you right back down from the lofty heights it raised you to, until it has proven to be just a wish after all, just a fancy, a youthful dream…” She chuckled. “Really, the only surprising part of your story is that you would even consider your secret a secret. The only surprising thing was how defeated and dejected you acted when I extracted a piece of trivia so petty and meaningless…”

“Yeah, well…”

“Oh, wait… Hold on a moment; you still think it’s true, don’t you? Really! What a wild idea; that a thing could give rise to itself. And not just some twisted, random, chaotic thing, but a thing of beauty, pride, heroism… It must have a cause, but what? Who sent it? Who sent it to you, that you might send it to yourself? And if nobody sent it, then how and why would fate choose a wild, rebellious animal like a Corduroy? Didn’t it ever dawn on you that somebody’s been lying to you all along? Did it ever even cross your mind?”

The shifter’s voice broke and changed now. Wendy couldn’t quite place it; it sounded familiar from somewhere… But then her body began to shift and morph. Four legs became two. White mucus hardened into flesh. Hard, dark plates formed together, rose up, and interlocked into armor. Little bioluminescent lights began to glow in high-tech patterns, and features solidified on the face.

The eyes… The hair… The suit of futuristic robotic armor… Wendy stared.

“Look familiar?” The monster ran a gloved hand through her long red hair, smiled her freckled, adult face, and twirled a futuristic axe. “You get good enough at shapeshifting, you can start inventing forms. How do you like this one? All I had to go on was your own appearance, and a little imagination…”

Wendy stared, and blinked, and stared again. She found herself at a loss for words.

“Perhaps I’ll head back to last Fall with this, and say some nice things to you. To make you do all the helpful things you’ve done since… What do you think of that?”

Wendy didn’t speak.

“…Or…” A smile twitched at the corners of the mimic’s mouth. “Or do you still believe you know the future?”

Wendy thought about this, as she stared at the perfect image of her dream. The image rested a hand on its hip, and stood in that characteristically powerful, proud, relaxed way… It really, truly was exactly how she remembered it.

My future self.

The promises. The mission. The hope. The vision.

It was all lies…

No…

No.

“No…” Wendy said.

The mimic cocked its head.

“No…” Wendy repeated. “Wait… You’ve seen her.”

“Hmm?”

“You’ve seen her! Seen me! That’s how you know what she looks like; you’ve met her… You’ve probably fought her, that’s it!” Wendy flexed her fingers, preparing to assault her bindings again. “You knew it all along! You’re trying to get in my head, trying to probe me and hurt me and BREAK me to prevent me from becoming who I AM, but you KNOW! You know the reason she didn’t show up this morning! It’s ‘Cause I’m gonna escape! This… This is destiny or something! I’m gonna fight my way across time and space to save my friends and my family, save the day, be the HERO! And then we’re gonna take what’s left of you, feed half to the pig and use the rest as VEGETABLE OIL!”

“YOU?” It scoffed, and gestured again to the skeletons. “When I’ve hunted and killed and eaten all who came before? Time travelers! Warriors! Scientists! Inventors! Heroes…! And now you! Hanging among the remains of better people, tell me:” Her voice rose to a screeching, furious, monstrous pitch as she raised her arm. The hand flattened itself, and sharpened into the fine edge of a large blade. Then she leapt at Wendy, lashing the deadly blade directly for her torso. “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?”

Wendy didn’t blink.

*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! *

The computer console in a corner of the room chimed loudly.

By some unforeseeable, freak act of fortune, the alarm seemed to distract the shifter for a fraction of a second.

The blade missed Wendy’s body.

“WARNING!” The console chimed, in a language that was most certainly not English. “INTRUDERS DETECTED INCONCLUSIVE REFERENCE CODE RETURN THREAT LEVEL UPGRADED TO JELLY ROLL ONE: ERROR 443\]kl;/oij#JE’~~3Dde~~~”

The Shifter spun toward the computers and began to head toward them, outraged at the improbable, incredible, inconceivable timing of the interruption.

Wendy realized that the blade had actually severed most of the webs.

She threw herself forward, and her left arm ripped free. Her right arm followed it. Then she grabbed a sharp scrap of metal, and with one long slice tore through the material on her legs.

With a final push, her boots landed on the ground with a dull thud.

She stood up.

The Shifter glanced back at the human. She saw the tangled, matted hair, the faded blue hat, the clenched fists, the blood-stained lip, the furious little scowl, and the dark, murderous thoughts behind those green eyes. She thought that this was getting a little too complicated and improbable for a standard hostage situation; she should probably time-travel back by about 5 minutes, to find out the source of the alarm ahead of time, and undo her accidental severing of the human’s bonds.

Quickly though, before something worse happened.

But she was too late, because something worse was already happening.

There was a brilliant blue flash of light,

a tiny yellow machine was suddenly flying through the air,

And Wendy caught it.

“Who do I think I am? Funny you should ask that…” Wendy smiled, as she ad-libbed a plan.

“I’m a flippin’ Pines.”

[lalka-laski]

1. Other than the expected things, what is something you’ve done every day for the past month? Hmm... I’m not great at maintaining a routine so I can’t think of something I’ve for sure done every day. Even something like taking my supplements hasn’t happened daily. 

2. What is one way in which things have improved for you lately? I started a new skincare routine with higher quality products (bye-bye drug store brands!) and I noticed a considerable difference in my skin’s clarity and smoothness.  

3. Do you have any bad habits you aren’t working on changing? If so, do you ever think you’ll try to break them? Binge eating and drinking are probably my most prominent bad habits. They’re a constant struggle to kick, but I try... 

4. When was the last time someone surprised you with their reaction or behaviors? Nothing springs to mind. It was probably somebody at work though. 

5. Are you good at committing to things like nanowrimo or inktober? i’ve attempted some of those “X Day Challenges” on Facebook & Instagram but I’m sure I never made it to the end. 

6. What is your preferred method of expressing yourself? Writing. Always. 

7. What outfit or clothing item have you been wearing the most lately? My Aerie leggings are pretty much glued to my legs at this point. Oh also my mom got me this ADORABLE pink pajama set for Christmas that I’ve been lounging and sleeping in a lot. I love a luxurious pair of jammies! 

8. What kinds of videos do you like to watch on youtube, if any? It varies wildly. Lately I’ve been watching this channel called “Squirmy & Grubs” that documents the life of an inter-abled couple. It’s fascinating & feel-good! I also like DIY craft videos, and the occasional beauty or skincare vid although I try to stay away from that side of Youtube just to preserve my own self-esteem. 

9. Have you had any snow yet? Is this normal for your region? We just finally got a few decent snowfalls here, which is very late for my area. We’re usually up to our eyeballs in it by early December.

10. How would you describe your sleep schedule? CHAOS. 

11. Have you ever reached out to a crisis center for mental health support? If so, how was the experience? If you count phone hotlines as crisis centers then, yes. They got the job done for the time being but I need ongoing, consistent support (and that’s ok!) 

12. When was the last time you did something you were afraid to do, and how was the outcome? Well I’m kind of afraid of daily life so every morning I get out of bed and face the world is a day I confront my fears. (Look at me acknowledging my own accomplishments! WHO IS THIS GIRL?) 

13. What is one positive thing you believe about yourself? I am a kind and thoughtful person who considers the feelings of others. 

14. What is something you have been through that has made you stronger? It goes without saying, but moving into my own apartment gave me a sense of independence and self-sufficiency that I’ve never had before. And just the entire process of searching and applying for a place, then asking for my parents’ blessing with it, strengthened my confidence. It was scary as HELL but I’m so proud of myself for doing it. 

15. Other than money, what is something you wish you had more of in your life? Willpower, motivation, restraint. But these are all fixable issues, right...?  16. Is there anything that you tend to ignore for the sake of your sanity? There’s a lot on social media that I try to tune out, but I have this cool self-sabotaging habit where I seek out content that’ll upset me just so I can spiral. I will never understand why I do it, but yeah.

17. What was the last thing you argued or debated about? Did you eventually agree, or did you have to agree to disagree? I got into some kind of debate with a guy last weekend while drunk but I honestly have *NO* clue what it was about. All I remember is my friend & sister signaling to me that the argument wasn’t worth having because the guy in question is too close-minded and incitive. 

18. When was the last time you were envious and what caused it? What types of things are you inclined to envy? I’m a very envious person, so I could take my pick here. My greatest source of envy though lately is Glenn. It’s unfair to him, because he provides MORE than enough attention, affection & love, but the green-eyed monster still gets to me. I have retroactive jealousy, so I get upset thinking about the fact that he loved other girls before me. Again, I *KNOW* this is unfair, and the love he feels for me is different- stronger- than the love he felt for them. But that doesn’t stop me from stalking their Facebook pages and spiraling into a self-deprecating hole!! Love it!!

19. What is something you wish was different about your family? I wouldn’t change much about my immediate family, but I do wish I was closer to some of my extended relatives. I have cousins & aunts I hardly ever see, despite the fact we live in the same city.

20. Name someone you miss and the last time you talked to them? Do you think you’ll ever talk again? Instead of taking the obvious, but saddest, route and mentioning someone who has passed away, I’ll say I miss Eileen & her girls. I haven’t nannied for them in almost a year now and it’s heartbreaking. I’ve missed so many of the girls’ milestones and it’s time I’ll never get back. I know this is the safest & healthiest decision but it doesn’t diminish my sadness in any way.  21. What is something unusual that irritates you? Is there anything that seems to bother others but doesn’t bother you at all? My biggest pet peeve is walking behind slow people. But that bothers most of us, doesn’t it?

22. What is your main struggle or focus in life right now? Getting my health in order. Oh, and my finances.  23. What was the last piece of candy you ate? A Reese’s Christmas tree 

24. Are you more dramatic or stoic? Oh I am HIGH DRAMA HONEYYYYYY 

25. When was the last time you wished you could take something back? Something small happens daily that I wish I could rewind & redo. But that’s showbiz baby. 

26. What was the last thing you mailed? How about received (other than bills and such)? Last thing I mailed was work-related & the last thing I received was a baby shower invite! 

27. What was the last kind thing someone did for you? How about the last thing you did for someone else? This is a trick question because I’m engaged to (and live with) the kindest gentleman in the world. Our whole relationship is just a back-and-forth of favors and cute gestures. (Am I bragging? Probably. But I don’t care!) 

28. If everything in the world that was happening now was because of something you were doing or thinking, what aspects of yourself would you have to improve to change the world for the better? I um.... do not like this question. Lol! 

29. What is your favorite thing to dream about? Nora <3 

30. Are you on medication for anything? If so, do you feel like it helps? Have you ever been afraid to take medication or had a particularly bad experience with it? I just started Lexapro a few months ago & I notice a nice difference in my anxiety levels. I’ve never been afraid of medication and I’m very pro-science. 

31. Do you prefer having long or short nails? Medium! 

32. Are you happy when summer ends, or do you wish it would last longer? I always have this sad nostalgia because it reminds me of the back-to-school blues of childhood. Even though I’ve been out of school for years, I can’t shake that feeling every season. 

33. How do you feel about the idea of turning 30? Or, if you already have, did your expectations or worries hold up to the reality? I’ll be 30 in just 2 birthdays and I don’t have many feelings about it. I’ve never let an age (or any numbers or stats) dictate my life, so it’s of no consequence to me. 

34. Just as a guess, how old do you think you’ll live to be? I don’t wanna answer that 

35. What keeps you going lately? My loved ones

[sunderedstar]

@doigiveafuck replied to your post: “one real LOSS regret: never getting an excuse to use this ridiculous...”

Will you publish a bunch of your notes like this one here once you've completed LOSS?

I did manage to incorporate some stuff in LOSS itself, though I couldn’t officially namedrop all the game mechanics that I made notes about all those years ago. also, past!me apparently ran out of steam part of the way through the trolls, so it’s kind of piecemeal. some stuff below the cut:

Knight of Blood: 

Conductor - the Pulse 

Abilities - First Blood: if the player deals the first blow in a strife, his critical hit ratio doubles for the remainder of the strife | My Oath Is My Bond: when the player engages in a blood pact with another being, failure to uphold the oath can result in a heightened Doom rating on the timeline; completion of an oath will increase the session's likelihood of success 

Fraymotifs -  Family Don't End With Blood: when a Blood player acts as leader in a game session, overall coopotential in the team is boosted; once the player hits god-tier, they can form artificial "blood" bonds between the aspects and classes of other players - this allows players to access each other's buffs and fraymotifs regardless of classpect limits | Tears of Blood/Blood is the New Black: When the player’s teammates are critically injured or dying, Knights of Blood receive an speed and strength buff while defending them. Said buff will increase exponentially if more blood is spilled, but trigger a corresponding sanity debuff - they become stronger, but enter a berserker mode. Upon reaching god-tier, Tears of Blood can upgrade to Blood Is The New Black, in which all blood in the Medium is weaponized. In conjunction with a Rage player, this ability becomes completely broken and generally leads to an apocalyptic game over.

---

Heir of Breath 

Conductor - the Breeze 

Abilities - Air From My Lungs: Breath players can give the air of their lungs to other players, literally and figuratively; their pep talks can restore much more resolve and faith to a faltering player and can guide a corrupted loved one back onto the right path; dream selves are more likely to revive when a dead real self is smooched by a Breath player. | Crisis of Succession: in the event certain glitches occur, it is possible for an Heir to enter the line of succession by taking up the King's Scepter or the Queen's Ring to become a King of Misrule or a Queen of Unorthodoxy; however, they cannot wield the full power of prototyping without severe consequences | Eye of the Storm: Breath players are mentally shielded from certain emotional turmoil until the storm of strife has passed; they are able to take strange things in stride with an abnormal level of trust and acceptance that resembles derpish naïveté to the outside viewer 

Fraymotifs - Channeling the Tempest: summons a board-clearing tornado or storm that can either be directed as a weapon or a mass transport | The Song Before The Storm: engaging this motif before a major boss battle buffs the rest of the team | Aeolian Aria: in conjunction with any god tier Time player, a Breath player can unleash this fraymotif for a timeline-spanning attack, capitalizing on Time's fastforward option and Breath's ceaseless mobility

---

Knight of Time: 

Conductor - the Beat 

Abilities - Take Your Time: any time player can make more time for themselves by traveling back to complete forgotten quests and rescue others, but it takes a Knight to truly abuse the function for the hell of it, leading to improbably complex loops usually guided at least unconsciously by the Beat; a broken Beat can have disastrous consequences 

Fraymotifs - Turning the Tables/Never Too Late: starts as a fraymotif granting the player a higher likelihood of rescuing fellow players from the jaws of defeat; in the higher end of the echeladder and god tier, they can avert bad situations entirely with minimal risk of dooming the time line, as fate begins to favor their in the nick of time rescues | Smash Up/Jam Session: the player receives double the usual buffs for successfully strifing in sync with a fraymotif, stacking more buffs for each player motif they mashup with their own successfully; upon hitting god-tier this enables the team move Jam Session in which all team players can jam out, gaining invulnerability for the duration of a successful combo | I Pledge Myself to Thee - if a Knight pledges service or swears devotion to an Heir, Page, Maid, or Lord/Lady, they receive automatic strength and speed buffs and gain echeladder rungs faster when protecting said player, and suffer debuffs when neglecting them; this is automatically applied to the royalty of their Moon, leading to a glitched debuff for Dersite Knights attempting to combat the Black King 

Debuff - a Knight of Time can never achieve the fraymotif Time Lord. No one can.

---

Seer of Light: 

Conductor - the Stars 

Abilities - Foresight: Seers of Light are naturally more likely to predict fortuitous future paths for their team, rather than being distracted by ALL outcomes | Beginner's Luck: Upon entering the Medium at level one, Light players receive an automatic moxiemeter boost 

Fraymotifs - Let There Be: conducts raw light, potential, and fortune through the player's body; strips away void-wards, repels Horrorterrors, and maxes the luck stat for the Light player alone; effectively generates a sun, but can be channeled through wand and needlekind specibi as ranged weapon | So Light 'Em Up: the most offensively powerful a passive classpect like a Seer can achieve; god-tier players max out their luck stat for the duration of the strife, and can engage in a dancestrife that can clear entire Battlefields through strange coincidences and fortuitous happenstance | Clarity: a god tier Seer of Light's most potent support fraymotif; induces clarity of heart and vision in all players on the field, restores all debuffed stats and reveals all enemy weak points; cranks up the team's luck to the max for an absolutely devastating group assault; can restore the sanity of a corrupted or berserker player 

---

Witch of Space: 

Conductor - the Spirograph 

Abilities - Hyperdrive: Space players receive a strength and speed boost with each spirograph portal they pass through | A Familiar Spirit: Witch players tend to attract powerful familiars... | Radioactive: [I wrote nothing here]

Fraymotifs - Orbital Bombardment: Witch of Space players at a high enough level can teleport nearly anything into space and then slam it down at high speeds on top of the enemy before them; could theoretically be used to redirect the Reckoning | Now You're Thinking With Portals: teleport spam at its finest; at high enough levels Witches, Maids, and Heirs of Space can warp and manipulate space to create new, permanent Spirographs that their fellow players can make use of | Double, Double, Toil and Trouble: when two god-tier Witches are on the same Battlefield, they can combine their aspects to heightened effect; in the case of Witches of Life and Space, they can cast an auto-resurrection on the entire Medium for an effective reset | Time and Relative Dimensions in Space: in conjunction with a Time player, both players receive a boost that allows them to teleport spam throughout the entirety of the session, including previously off limit areas; however, until they both hit god-tier, the improbability factor renders this ability too unstable to be properly controlled, and the likelihood of teleporting themselves into a black hole or dooming the timeline is precipitously high in already glitched timelines

---

Bard of Rage: 

Conductor - Discordia 

Abilities - Babylon: interpersonal communication between players vacillates wildly between incomprehensibility and total accord; in the presence of a god tier Bard of Rage, this may lead to total breakdown and widespread glitching and lag not just in chat programs but in real life conversation | Blind with Rage: Bard-specialized ability; they can match the tempo and mood of the players around them with their instruments to increase buffs throughout a strife; enraged players in close proximity to a Rage player receive double strength buffs but suffer a critical sanity debuff

Fraymotifs - Dionysian Revels: inspires other teammates in the vicinity to strife; buffs strength for the party but debuffs sanity; combo fraymotifs moves have an enhanced critical hit ratio | Songs of Solace: acting to destroy the Rage in another player, Bards can actually reduce Rage and eliminate sanity debuffs until the player is soothed | O, Discordia!: a Bard of Rage classic; total chaos is unleashed upon the Battlefield in a hymnfrenzy, upsetting the entire board in the hopes of obtaining a better layout; this is considered an apocalypse-level ability in that it is defined by total loss of control, including massive sanity debuffs for all players, disruption of all active fraymotifs, severe damage inflicted by the blast radius even on fellow players, and has been known to one hit KO denizens and BKs when unleashed by a god-tier Bard

---

Sylph of Space: 

Conductor - the Fabric 

Abilities - Healing Shiv: all weapons can be repurposed for the sake of healing by either adding or removing space, amputation or sewing; a god tier Sylph classic that can go horrible wrong, since if something like a planet happens to get in the way of their healing strike, the planet will lose | Clarke's Third Law: any sufficiently analyzed science is indistinguishable from magic; mythological and magical concepts are more likely to become real the more powerful the Sylph in question 

Fraymotifs - Primum nil Nocere: rarely activated Sylph pacifistic option; if they truly dedicate themselves to healing and non-violence, inflicting zero harm on anyone in the session, they are granted concessions when it comes to required boss battles | Regenerātiō Universi: the Sylph of Space's most flexible and powerful support fraymotif; they can heal the Fabric of paradox space on a fundamental level, sewing tears in space, repairing Prince-level damage, and sealing minor cracks

[dawnkiwi-blog]

A Beautiful Mind Chapter 2 - Tony Stark fanfiction

A Beautiful Mind - Avengers fanfiction | Iron Man / Tony Stark-centric | #1 in the Wretched Adrenaline series

Summary: 'Prodigious clarity conceived', Tony Stark is the most enlightened mind of this existence. Like an elastic band, his mind expands to encompass all knowledge he comes across. Bands snap.

Genres: Drama/Sci-fi

Word Count: 2,200 Chapters: 02/05 Status: Finished prior to publishing

Trigger warnings: Allusion to schizophrenia / mentions and explorations of mental illness + suicide / familial abuse and trauma / mentions of sexual activity.

Sincerest apologies for this late update! I had this posted on ff.net some days ago but this has been a hectic time for me and I forgot to press ‘post’.. I should probably queue these things.. 

Chapter 2: Gods

It had been days now. Thousands of minutes in which he had hidden himself from the world and all interaction, with only the precious indulgence of the most artificial mind- his own creation, and thus the safest option, as Tony innately knew that only he and that which he could completely dictate could be trusted.

Days since Tony had found the courage to face them.

He had suspected when he ventured upstairs- to his own kitchen- that it wouldn't go well, but the need for food had won out. And inevitably he had been humiliated. Perhaps they didn't see it that way. In fact, for all Tony knew, neither Steve nor Vision had picked up on how 'out of it' he had been. But the days taken their toll and his sleep deprivation had culminated in one of those dreaded flashbacks.

At least this time it had not been of Afghanistan.

"JARV, can you copy this template and store it on my private server, please."

His lab was washed in a soft natural lighting, creating a calming atmosphere. Controlled chaos reigned in his most precious space; his modus operandi flowed in a maze of questionable ideas. Each time he was struck with another moment of euphoria, it had to be jotted down by hand and plastered up in a string-board flow chart that coated every surface and space available.

Tony worked like a madman, never entirely still. His hands shook and his eyes wavered. Almost wordlessly he spoke to himself, reciting formulas, theories, and mashing the very fringes of theoretical science together in a corroded version of logic.

"Of course, sir."

He snapped his fingers, twirling around to snatch up another hot cup of liquid energy. $60 a cup. Because he's Tony fucking Stark.

"Sir, the synthesized element is now complete."

Tony let out a shaky breath. "Bring her up, JARV."

His beloved AI did as requested and the newly synthesized component emerged like an infant Jesus, or Simba. The steaming mist rose up, slowly evaporating into the air ducts. The theatrics of it all did nothing but exacerbate his irregular heart beat and warm his hands with nervous perspiration.

"Perfect," he murmured, gingerly plucking it from its perch. His latest attempt at recreating one of the many Chitauri 'elements'. Once he'd come to terms with whatever materials the Hoard consisted of essentially being out-of-this-world, he'd set about making his own. PTSD prevented him- no, reminded him of why space travel is a bad thing- a terrible, most dreaded, and utterly anti-human endeavor- so the safest option he had was to simply create it all.

He'd done more difficult tasks before. Like in caves, with a car battery wired into his chest.

Tony repressed a shiver but was unable to stop the frown which settled upon his face like scar tissue. Even during his most poignant moments, the repressive and plagueish feeling gnawed at him, chewing him to pieces and scattering his sanity like dollar bills from a blimp.

His new element glinted in the soft lighting. Iridescent like a polished pearl, it held his hopes, his fears, and his obsessions.

Snatching up his scanner, he let the holographic wave flow across it before processing the data.

Tony stood quietly with shaking hands, lost in the swirling mist of his coffee.

"The element does not match, sir."

Tony cursed, nearly throwing his cup against the wall. Instead he discarded it behind him, unaware of the blistering liquid splashing his bare feet. In a rare moment of ill-restraint, Tony let out a frustrated scream, sweeping his arm across his desk and sending it's contents scattering across the polished floor. Glass shattered and sprayed him with thin, nearly invisible cuts. His chest heaved, pumping out gutturally anguished grunts.

"Sir?"

"Does any of it match?" Tony screamed into his hands, fisting his hair into painfully tight clumps.

His shaking increased with his shoulders hunching and tensing more as he waited for JARVIS to calculate the difference.

"There is a 52% match rate, sir."

"Fifty-two percent," he enunciated to himself quietly, "It's never enough."

Tony straightened up to stare blankly at the mess covering his lab.

Post-it notes dotted the walls, his tables, and even his cars. He didn't need them. In fact he had only ordered them last week thinking perhaps it would ground him, and remind him of the necessity and fruition of such an ambitious dream. But now it slammed into him with a splitting ache, his eyes scrunching up as a blinding pain coursed down his head. It reminded him of how fucking ruined he was.

"Never fucking enough," he muttered.

Fifty two percent means the elements, the material, whatever the fuck he labelled it- it all boiled down to having the same matter which existed for tangible forms, but beyond that, whatever accumulation of atoms formed the mysterious armours, 'flesh', and weapons of the Hoard simply did not exist as an Earthen configuration, and if Tony dared to press his mind into the darkest corners of his intelligence, he would be forced to consider that potentially, the elements he searched so desperately for were beyond his highest form of science.

Beyond science itself and perhaps into the realm of speculation and, he shuddered, magic. The horror.

Horrible potential. One would believe Tony Stark idolized magic. His own creations all embodied the most human form of magic. Technology so advanced he could craft his suit from the air (seemingly) and power his tower from a self-sufficient source. All ideas that scientists had salivated over, but truly, few had the brains capable of processing such advanced theories.

"JARV," he ground out through gritted teeth, "What does the two-percent signify?"

Another moment of silence while JARVIS considered his readings. "I believe, sir, that the two percent is evidence of a nuclear-bonding between the armours of the Chitauri Hoard, and their 'flesh'."

That means their armour is really an exoskeleton..

Which again meant he was no closer to understanding their technology or their ability to breathe in space.

Tony wanted to cry but he settled for sinking to his knees and gasping for air. Imagining space without his suit.. imagining floating in that awful, endless void..

He couldn't breathe.

Grasping at his throat, his vision swam.

"Sir, you are experiencing an anxiety attack. Code Beta. Sir, you are experiencing an anxiety attack. Code Beta. Sir, you are experiencing an anxiety attack. Code Beta..."

Code Beta.

Tony's self determined code word broke through the haze, allowing him enough time to stagger to his feet and slump towards his coach. Barely mustering the strength to pull his suddenly lead filled body onto the expensive leather, he never heard had a chance to fight he sleep which wormed its way into his deprived and demented brain.

Burning cinders drifted through the air lazily. Such beautiful hues of orange and magenta glowed behind the thick, black smoke. They danced like peacocks of death.

Plumes of the smoke filled the skies and suffocated him, working its way down his throat and filling him with trepidation.

Her voice chanted above the carnage, "Cinis praecepto cadunt acie retro.."

Screaming metal cut through his dazed thoughts and he raised his head, vision blurred by red, to see a ship leaning to left. It groaned ominously, straining against gravity, but inevitably, it lost. The dull silver wings tipped downwards and the ship fell headlong into a spiralling descent.

"In acie retro faciens iter sonitu.."

He tried to cry out in pain but the sound lodged in his throat. His entire body ached like he had been beaten for all eternity. He had to press on. Desperation clawed at him.

A spindly hand shot towards him and tightened around his throat. He thrashed violently before regaining his senses. Lifting his hand to fire a propulsion, the being was swept away in with a loud bang, landing sickeningly against a stone wall.

Everything blurred together as he fought them. There were so many. Everywhere. They swarmed like roaches, never ceasing, never lessening in number despite the culling blows they were dealt. Slate coloured skin, red eyes, and horrible, repulsive green mouths like moss and mold.

Somewhere far from his vision the Hulk let out an almighty roar, shaking the earth he lay on with a bellow deeper than he had ever heard.

"Rumpitur sanguine filiorum tuorum implebo tympana.."

They were losing. Vision hovered above one of their mother-ships surrounded by an unearthly red glow. Another mammoth beast fell from the sky with an almighty crack as lightening touched from the heavens and split it's skull from it's monstrous body.

Agony seared from his chest and as he looked down he nearly passed out. Luminous green shards jutted from his reactor like pins in a doll. They leaked a foul odorous discharge and his reactor sparked, sending blinding spots cascading across his vision.

He sent another energy charge at an approaching Chitauri goon, before commanding JARVIS to launch a rocket at the mother-ship closest to him.

"Sir, your arc reactor does not possess the energy needed to fire the rocket and continue to power your suit."

He forced JARVIS to do it.

The air in his lungs left him like a swift punch and he collapsed in the rubble, unable to breathe or scream or think. JARVIS said something but it didn't compute and he felt a blissful numbness encompass his left side. In the back of his head, he registered a stroke.

"Errorem suum pure et crucifigetis.."

Inhuman shrieks filled the air but it barely registered to him. JARVIS continued to bleat in his ear. All he knew was agony. Unfathomable and unnatural pain.

As his eyes slid shut slowly, the last thing he ever saw were the rising forms of those they had so valiantly tried to slaughter. They stood slowly, heads tipping back to join in the unearthly shrieks, bodies convulsing nauseatingly.

Darkness filled his vision.

Tony woke with a scream.

Silence. Then his ragged breath.

Another fucking night terror. It had been so real. So clear. But it was just a dream.

They were usually quite similar. It always featured the Chitauri. Plenty of death. The Avengers, naturally.

And that haunting voice.

It was so familiar that Tony was sure it belonged to a real person he had met before. But for the life of him he couldn't think of who. And that drove him fucking mad. Despite his near perfect memory, whoever possessed that lilting voice escaped his stranglehold grasp. He eventually concluded the voice manifested as a distorted version of a real persons voice. He then banished it from his mind before it sent him raving mad, and falling over his already precarious balance on the edge of sanity.

Tony had defied nature most nights but the fatigue had gone beyond his previously known limits, and once something as mere as a thought had triggered his fears, the need for rest wormed in like a disease and wouldn't let go.

Drenched in sweat Tony had summoned his latest suit models frantically, despite being barely conscious. Nine feet tall each, separately colour coded, they smashed through the concrete walls hiding them from any potential intruder. Ironically, when he had woken to tall and menacing figures looming above him, he had once again descended into a panic attack.

Sometimes Tony wanted to die. To kill himself. But he couldn't.

If space held such terrible things, then death.. death would be unimaginable.

He would suffer, and suffer happily as only the truly mad can.

The latin translation from Tony's dream;

"Commandment of ashes, fall in line behind your maker, march to the sound of their cries, fill your beating drums with the blood of your broken children and crucify the pure for their aberration."

Enjoy.

[cynthiamwashington]

The Health Toll of Financial Stress

Sure, this post comes right on the heels of Cyber Monday…but is there ever a perfect time for a message like this? Yes, I run a business, but I still don’t mind kicking the cultural hornet’s nest. Some things don’t change.

But that doesn’t mean there isn’t contradiction. Here I am doing my own holiday shopping today (don’t tell Carrie)—and offering my own deals to those who are interested. The holidays—with all the shopping and parties and prep—are fun. No doubt. Simultaneously, I know financial stress takes a major toll this time of year, and it doesn’t have to be that way.

Estimates for last year’s Christmas gift spending placed the average American in the vicinity of $936—with the average parent spending an additional $422 per child on top of that already princely sum. (Whether that figure still holds true in a family of four or five is debatable.)

And that may not even be the half of it. Holiday dinners, events, decorations, clothing, and trips add to the price tag. The result? More than half of us rack up debt for holiday expenditures, a sizable portion of which will take more than half a year to pay off.

Financial stress carries over past the festivities of the season, and its costs can be much higher than a credit card total. 

Financial Stress at The Holidays

Let’s talk numbers. According to the National Retail Federation, U.S. retail sales during the 2015 holiday season surpassed the GDP of 181 other countries. That’s more spending on presents, food and holiday sundries than the combined GDP of countries like South Africa, Sweden and Norway…amounting to a whopping $630+ billion.

Perceived social expectations set the stage. A few years back, a survey of 1000 Americans across all income brackets found that 45% of those polled were under so much financial pressure that they’d prefer to skip the holiday scrabble altogether. Another 45% said they didn’t have enough money set aside to cover holiday expenses.

It gets worse. While 41% of people are unable to survive more than two weeks without a paycheck, 59% of people are carrying debt into the new year. Not surprisingly, a 2015 Healthline survey showed that over 60% of people get stressed out just thinking about the holiday season, with finances being the biggest cause of that stress.

The Health Costs

Even within the Primal community, there’s a tendency to focus on tangible sources of stress—inflammatory foods, toxic compounds in our living environment, etc. Yet, financial woes crop up again and again as one of the most pervasive forms of stress. 

A 2008 study found that college students with a debt of $1000 or more were at significantly higher risk of obesity, excess TV viewing, infrequent breakfast consumption, fast food consumption, binge drinking, substance abuse, and lack of exercise.

In another study, financial strain held a particularly strong association with heavy drinking and smoking among elderly men. Further research indicates that smokers with financial stress are less likely to try to quit, less likely to succeed if they do try, and more likely to relapse. Presumably, it’s something of a vicious cycle, with smoking leading to financial strain, which in turn promotes more smoking. Stress can send us into a cul-de-sac of bad habits.

Over time, these stress-justified bad habits are likely to create their own slew of health problems, the most common of which is weight gain. In a study involving 1,355 U.S. men and women, increasing levels of psychosocial stress in the form of “difficulty paying bills” was associated with a higher propensity for weight gain. The mechanisms behind this are well understood, with higher levels of stress leading to the development of “palatable food” (aka junk food) motivation and engagement in overeating to offset the negative emotional effects of stress. This higher energy intake, coupled with a reduction in physical activity, stimulates visceral fat accumulation. The rest is history.

Perhaps most famously, higher levels of stress, both acute and chronic, have been associated with impaired cardiovascular health and life-threatening complications. Research shows that work-related stress, which often goes hand in hand with financial stress, can increase a person’s risk of a first coronary heart disease (CHD) event. Among existing CHD patients, long-term stress can increase the risk of repeat CHD events and mortality. Other studies indicate that psychological stressors can lead to sudden death, myocardial infarction, myocardial ischemia, and wall motion abnormalities.

But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. In the brain, stress undermines well-being by releasing corticosteroid hormones that control neuronal and network responses tied to behavioral adaptation. In acutely stressful scenarios, this process is beneficial to our survival, heightening awareness and honing reflexes. But over the long term, such as is the case in chronic financial strain, these corticosteroid binary control mechanisms can erode mental health and promote brain disease.

In the early days, this detrimental effect of stress on the brain can manifest in impaired cognitive function. For example, male rats exposed to 21 days of restraint stress exhibited both reduced visual and spatial memory, while chronic unpredictable stress can drastically alter the behavior of rats and promote a rapid shift towards habitual tendencies. The mechanisms by which humans respond to stress aren’t all that different.

Then there’s sleep. Even among the elderly, financial stress appears to be a key contributor to poor sleep, with ongoing financial strain correlated with difficulty falling asleep, difficulty staying asleep, and impaired sleep efficiency. Another study involving a wider age range of subjects found that financial strain was associated with decreased sleep quality and lower sleep efficiency.

And if you’re not sleeping well, you’re probably not aging well. Researchers postulate that chronic psychological stress “is significantly associated with higher oxidative stress, lower telomerase activity, and shorter telomere length, which are known determinants of cell senescence and longevity.” In other words, financial stress leads to oxidative stress, which undermines the health and longevity of your cells—making you age faster.

Then there’s all the digestive issues that come with chronic stress. In animal models, stress has been shown to promote the “development of gastric ulcers, altered gastrointestinal motility and ion secretion, and increased intestinal permeability.” Stress also teams up with other pathogenic factors in the GI tract, including H. pylori and NSAIDs, to encourage gastrointestinal disease.

Indeed, the type of stress induced by financial strain has been associated with almost all of the most common chronic digestive diseases, including functional gastrointestinal disorders, inflammatory bowel disease, and gastro-oesophageal reflux disease. So many of us have been there at some point….

Final Thoughts: Sidestepping the Financial Circus 

Short of packing the car and whisking the kids away from all civilization, there are plenty of steps we can take to keep budgetary sanity. I’ll share a couple thoughts, and I invite you to offer your own strategies for keeping a handle on the finances as you enjoy the best of the season.

Ditch Debt

With the deceptive ease of credit cards, it’s all too easy to blindly spend and worry about the consequences later. No rocket science here of course, but we can all benefit from figuring what we can afford to buy without borrowing this month, and to stick to that amount. Clarity around financial matters isn’t a killjoy. It just offers the objective facts we have to work with. 

Smart shopping, deep discount or consignment bargains, secret Santa exchange, or a one-gift-per-family-member policy can ensure present spending doesn’t break the bank. For the holiday meal, consider taking a drive to the farmgate to purchase your turkey and ham and save a considerable sum.

More importantly, make a point of not using your credit card for your holiday spending— meaning when the cash runs out, the buying stops and there’s no debt accruing. (Anybody still use the old envelope system? Some things shouldn’t ever go out of style.)

If need be—and there’s nothing wrong with hardcore accountability, give your credit cards to a (trusted) friend and tell them not to give it back until after the festivities are truly done and over.

Forget the Crowds

We’ve all been there: a shopping mall packed to the rafters in the weeks leading up to the holidays, filled with people like you desperate to get their last minute gift buying and food acquiring out of the way. It’s not an enjoyable time in anyone’s life, even if there are no budgetary constraints. I know I personally don’t make good decisions in that environment. 

My solution is to ditch the crowds altogether and do most of my holiday buying online. It means something to shop from the sanity of your own home and walk away from the computer when you’ve had enough—financially or otherwise. It’s open anytime, so I can research, mull, and make decisions when I’m ready to make them. And let’s be honest…the experience is more pleasant with a glass of wine anyway. 

Thanks for reading folks. What’s your strategy for staving off financial stress over the holiday season? Take care.

The post The Health Toll of Financial Stress appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

Article source here:Marks’s Daily Apple

[drglickmanwhitefish-blog]

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In the fresh Aloe vera plant there are more than 200 different substances. Some of these compounds have strong laxative results. Other compounds may trigger allergic reactions. Appropriately extracted, the healing compounds of Aloe vera are free of these laxative impacts and complimentary of the allergic responses that can accompany fresh Aloe vera gel and other poorly prepared Aloe supplements.

Montana Glickman

Beta-mannan™ includes just the extracted beta-mannans and beta-glucans which have been shown to have the recovery advantages credited to Aloe vera with not one of the possible side effects. These pure beta compounds remain in the carb group. Just protein substances, not carbs, are known to cause allergic responses. For that reason allergic response to these beta extracts is most likely difficult.

Doctor Joe Glickman Montana

And the beta substances in Beta-mannan™ have been utilized by thousands of individuals exceeding 20 years with no circumstances of allergy or negative result ever mentioned. Here's simply an example of exactly what you're about to understand when you begin taking the Beta-mannan™ Supplement: A boost in your energy and endurance. Restored mental clarity and alertness. An unstressed sensation and a positive mindset. Improved enthusiasm with more energy! The action to Beta-mannan™ has actually been unbelievable.

Whitefish Doctor Glickman

So if you wish to improve your health and feel drastically better, just click the "Order Now" button. Beta-mannan™ features Dr. Glickman's unconditional 120-day money-back guarantee. Why squander more of your time, effort, and sanity trying improve your health, enhance your energy and endurance, restore your mental awareness, and recover your zest for life? You can now put an end to all that frustration simply by attempting the exceptional Aloe vera benefits discovered in Beta-mannan™. Grab your membership for Beta-mannan™ now and feel better quickly. Click the "Order Now" button and let's get you going right away!

[neptunecreek]

5 Self-Care Hacks that Nonprofit Professionals Can Use in a Crisis

Flickr Photo by Evil Erin

Note from Beth:   This week and next week, Aliza Sherman and I will be visiting a few cities on the West and East Coasts, as part of our Happy Healthy Nonprofit book tour.   Please come join us at one of our upcoming events.   One of my themes for the year was to write more consistently about self-care and wellbeing in the nonprofit sector to extend the conversation and learning related to the book, The Happy Healthy Nonprofit.  Before the Christmas break, I had a delightful conversation with colleague  Kate Alexandra, co-founder of Radical Self Care Project based in Sydney, Australia.   At that time, we talked about the usefulness of having some self-care techniques in your back pocket that you could bring out during a crisis to help you calm down.    Given the stress that many of us who work in the nonprofit sector for social justice causes have been feeling lately, Kate’s suggestions are very timely.      I’ve seen a few good articles (here and here) providing tips about how to maintain your mental health and sanity in an age of Trump.   The articles recommend that you:  1) Limit your media consumption by setting some boundaries; 2) Focus on one or two issues close to your heart, there are too many to do all; 3) Make activism fun.   Both articles suggest strongly that you practice self-care and here’s Kate’s tips:

5 Self-Care Hacks that Nonprofit Professionals Can Use in a Crisis by Kate Alexandra

Self-care is both an art and a science, one worth getting intimate with, especially if you are one who’s prone to pushing hard towards what you want out of life.

There are two ways to approach self-care: Preventative and Episodic.

Building a nourishing a daily routine that fuels our health and happiness is part of our long-term burnout prevention plan and could include things like good sleep, healthy food, and regular exercise.

But what if you are approaching a chronic-stress crisis?

Do you have tools ready in your self-care medicine bag, to whip out in an emergency?

Burnout happens when we have too much going on and too few resources to sustain ourselves. The prelude to burnout would typically involve long-term chronic stress: the mind races, the nervous system fires up in ‘fight-flight’ mode and we may experience symptoms such as sleeplessness, extreme fatigue or anxiety.

Understanding chronic stress from the perspective of the nervous system’s in-build ‘emergency response’, helps us to directly impact the physiological needs of our body and bring us back from the edge of burnout.

The 5 techniques I’m sharing below are all about DISRUPTING the stress response. You can think of these techniques as re-routing or snipping the circuit wire that’s fueling your stress. If you can hone in on which techniques most effectively help you snip that circuit wire, you’ll be well equipped to handle peaks of stress and ultimately avoid burnout.

5 Self-Care Hacks to Use in a Crisis

1:  Breathe. When we are consumed by stress, our breath becomes shallow and rapid. Slowing down our breathing is a direct and powerful way to balance an over-stimulated nervous system.

Begin by tuning in to the inhalation and the exhalation, notice what the breath is doing, then gradually slow it down, lengthening (in particular) the exhale breath.

Lengthening the exhale breath soothes the nervous system which in turn affects our state of mind and helps release stress.

Try it: Pause now and take some slow deep breaths, count the inhalation, and the exhalation- notice which is longer. Then focus on lengthening the out breath. Make it as long and smooth as possible (without straining) and try to make it a few counts longer than the inhale breath, working towards a 1:2 ratio (i.e. breath in for 3 counts out for 6 counts).

Breathe in an out through the nose if possible, as this will stimulate the vegus nerve- a cranial nerve, positioned directly behind the nasal passageway, which stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system function of the major organs, slowing heart rate, relaxing blood vessels and reducing feelings associated with stress.

2: Walk Away and Bathe in Nature. When we are talking about disruption techniques for a crisis situation, walking away is a big one. Remove yourself from the stressful situation, get away from the screen and go outside if you can.

Surrounding yourself in nature has a very pacifying effect on humans. The Japanese have a name for it: Shinrin Yoku / Forest Bathing.

Research has found being surrounded by nature even after just 15 minutes, reduces blood pressure while increasing concentration and mental clarity.

And if you can elevate your heart rate while through walking in nature, even better, it will help oxygenate your brain and release endorphins- the happy hormones, which will help disrupt the stress hormones.

3: Emotional Freedom Technique

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called “Tapping” utilizes a gentle, rapid tapping along major meridian lines identified by Chinese Medicine. It is used to disrupt stuck energy caused by negative emotions. While tapping, we repeat a statement, which allows the mind to identify and clearly name the situation, then we affirm love and acceptance of self.

For example “Even though I am feeling  (Insert your emotion here) right now. I completely love and accept myself.”

To learn more about how this relatively new mind-body healing technique works, watch EFT Founder Gary Craig, share the basic EFT tapping technique. Have a play around and notice how it works for you.

4: Put Your Legs up the Wall.

Acrobatics when we’re approaching burnout? Yes!

Legs up the Wall (Viparitia Karani in Sanskrit) is a simple relaxing posture from Restorative Yoga. It is highly effective for supporting the body during adrenal fatigue and chronic stress.

Stress hormones such as adrenalin, noradrenalin and cortisol are catabolic which means they foster a process that burns energy and breaks down cell structures. To disrupt this activity and recover from excessive stress and exhaustion we need to secrete anabolic hormones, such as the growth hormone. The growth hormone is normally released from the pituitary gland during deep sleep, when the body naturally heals and repairs, but if we are not getting enough sleep this mightn’t be happening as effectively it should.

Putting your legs up the wall activates the parasympathetic nervous system and stimulates baroreceptors (blood pressure sensors) in the neck and upper chest triggering reflexes that reduce nerve input into the adrenal glands, slow the heart rate, slow the brain waves, relax blood vessels, and through secretion of the growth hormone, reduce the amount of noradrenalin circulating in the bloodstream.

Try Legs Up the Wall: Lay on the ground with your legs up against a wall, get your buttocks as close to the wall as possible and pelvis should be elevated on a pillow or some folded blankets (get your pelvis higher than your heart this is important to effectively stimulate the baroreceptors). It can be a little awkward to get in to the first time, but jiggle around until you are comfortable. It’s worth it.

If the legs tire of being straight, bend the knees and cross the legs, with knees near the wall.

Lay here for 15-20 minutes. Think of it as your recovery time. If your mind is excessively busy you could listen to a relaxing piece of music or count your breathing.

5: Yoga Nidra Guided Meditation

Yoga nidra is often referred to as “yoga sleep”. It’s a guided relaxation method designed to induce deep rest, promoting healing and rejuvenation.  Yoga Nidra begins with a body scan; by tuning in to the sensation of body we by-pass thinking and the body begins to relax.

During yoga nidra we move from the active everyday beta brain waves, through the alpha brain waves (which are typically present during mindfulness, daydreaming or creative flow) and finally we drift into theta brain waves, the brain waves of deep sleep, while still technically awake.

Accessing the slow, theta brain waves while conscious has a powerfully pacifying effect on the body-mind, we also become more receptive to insight which can help us become ‘un-stuck’ from our problems.

Studies show that 20 minutes of yoga nidra gives the equivalent rest of 3 hours deep sleep, making it an essential technique to use in times of chronic stress, insomnia or general exhaustion.

Access a FREE yoga nidra meditation here.

Kate Alexandra is a yoga teacher and co-founder of Radical Self Care Project based in Sydney, Australia. She is a passionate advocate for women’s health and empowerment through the practices of self-care, self-study and conscious activism.

  from Beth’s Blog http://ift.tt/2khlTuD

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Joe Glickman Jr Whitefish

It is my distinct satisfaction to show you the amazing Beta-mannan™ dietary supplement. It can surely reduce your aches and restore a peaceful mental attitude. This Aloe vera dietary supplement was developed by Dr. Glickman a medical http://remingtonhumg581.jigsy.com joe glickman whitefish mt doctor, author, and publisher of scientific books exceeding 20 years.

Whitefish Dr Joe Glickman Jr

His famous scientific publications, called Phantom Notes™, were released in 17 editions and have been purchased in over 90% of US and Canadian Health Science and Medical School Bookstores. Offered in over thirty countries, and published in several foreign languages, such as Chinese, Phantom Notes™ explained the critical scientific subjects of Surgery, Internal Medicine, Pediatrics, and OB-Gyn. Doctor Joe Glickman’s medical books helped in the educating of thousands of medical trainees and nursing students treating thousands of people.

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Phantom Notes™ were known to be a vital book for medical physicians and nurses who needed the necessary diagnoses right away. Phantom Notes™ helped them to determine the appropriate medical diagnosis in a medical emergency situation on the hospital units. Medical students and medical professionals have actually written numerous compliments about the Phantom Notes™.

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Hence I mention Dr. Glickman’s editing of these medical books, which have actually achieved success in the training of tens of thousands medical physicians and nurses worldwide, so that you can have belief in his ability to conduct the research needed to establish the the very best possible Aloe vera supplement. Beta-mannan™ can help you feel better and stay healthier! Numerous thousands of years of recorded history have actually recorded the magical healing power of the Aloe vera plant.

Montana Dr Joe Glickman Jr

And the healing advantages of the substances in Aloe vera were more impressive than the early researchers had actually imagined possible. However, till just recently, doctors were confused. In the laboratory Aloe vera was frequently worthless due to the fact that the active recovery ingredient in Aloe vera deteriorates rapidly after it is harvested. After just a couple of hours, if not effectively maintained, the active substance of Aloe vera falls apart. Not a lot of individuals understand about that.

Whitefish Montana Doctor Joe Glickman

Beta-mannan™ uses the best maintained, natural, Aloe vera available in an appropriate mix with natural Vitamin E to ensure that all the recovery advantages of Aloe vera are retained. Beta-mannan™ provides exceptional assistance for your immune system and enhances your energy level without caffeine. It brings back a healthy sense of wellness with an unstressed psychological attitude and calms your nerves.

Dr Glickman Whitefish Montana

When aches and stiffness decrease and mental clarity is enhanced, this assists your efficiency naturally. Beta-mannan™ just assists you feel much better. What makes Beta-mannan™ separate from all the other Aloe vera dietary supplements? The answer is easy.

Whitefish Dr Joe Glickman Jr

In the fresh Aloe vera plant there are more than two hundred various compounds. Some of these compounds have strong laxative results. Other substances might trigger allergic reactions. Effectively extracted, the healing compounds of Aloe vera are without these laxative impacts and without the allergic responses that can accompany fresh Aloe vera gel and other poorly prepared Aloe supplements.

Glickman Whitefish Montana

Beta-mannan™ includes only the drawn out beta-mannans and beta-glucans which have actually been revealed to have the recovery benefits attributed to Aloe vera with not one of the potential negative impacts. These pure beta compounds remain in the carbohydrate family. Just protein substances, not sugars, are understood to cause allergic responses. Therefore an allergic reaction to these beta extracts is probably impossible.

Doctor Joe Glickman Montana

And the beta compounds in Beta-mannan™ have been utilized by countless customers for over 20 years without any circumstances of allergic reaction or side effect ever mentioned. Here's simply an example of what you're about to discover when you start taking the Beta-mannan™ Supplement: A boost in your energy and stamina. New psychological clearness and awareness. An unstressed feeling and a positive mindset. Improved interest with more energy! The reaction to Beta-mannan™ has actually been extraordinary.

Whitefish Dr Joe Glickman

So if you want enhance your health and feel significantly much better, just click the "Order Now" button. Beta-mannan™ includes Dr. Glickman's genuine 120-day money-back warranty. Why squander more of your time, effort, and sanity aiming to enhance your health, improve your energy and stamina, restore your mental alertness, and recover your enthusiasm for life? You can now put an end to all that disappointment simply by trying the impressive Aloe vera advantages found in Beta-mannan™. Grab your membership for Beta-mannan™ now and feel much better quickly. Click the "Order Now" button and let's get you going today!

[montanadrjoeglickman-blog]

Joe Glickman Jr Montana

Whitefish Joe Glickman Jr MD

It is my distinct enjoyment to show you the amazing Beta-mannan™ dietary supplement. It can also reduce your pains and bring back a relaxed mental attitude. This Aloe vera dietary supplement was established by Doctor Glickman, a medical physician, author, and editor of scientific books for over 2 decades.

Dr Glickman Whitefish

His popular scientific books, called Phantom Notes™, were released in 17 editions and have been purchased in over 90% of United States and Canadian Health Science and Medical School Bookstores. Sold in over thirty nations, and published in several foreign languages, including Chinese, Phantom Notes™ taught the critical medical disciplines of Internal Medicine, Surgery, OB-Gyn, and Pediatrics. Doctor Glickman’s medical books assisted in the education of tens of thousands medical trainees and nursing students accountable for thousands of patients.

Doctor Joe Glickman Montana

Phantom Notes™ were discovered to be an indispensable manuscript for medical physicians and nurses who required the essential diagnoses right away. Phantom Notes™ helped them to make the appropriate medical diagnosis in a medical emergency on the hospital wards. Medical trainees and doctors have written lots of compliments about the Phantom Notes™.

Dr Joe Glickman Jr Montana

Hence I point out Dr. Glickman’s creation of these medical manuscripts, which have achieved success in the training of countless medical doctors and nursing students worldwide, so you can have belief in his capability to conduct the research needed to establish the best possible Aloe vera supplement. Beta-mannan™ can help you feel better and remain healthier! Many thousands of years of written history have actually documented the famous recovery facits of the Aloe vera plant.

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And the healing advantages of the substances in Aloe vera were more remarkable than the early scientists had actually pictured possible. Nevertheless, until just recently, scientists were confused. In the lab Aloe vera was frequently useless due to the fact that the active recovery ingredient in Aloe vera weakens quickly after it is harvested. After just a couple of hours, unless properly preserved, the critical substance of Aloe vera falls apart. Not a great deal of doctors know about that.

Joe Glickman Jr MD Whitefish

Beta-mannan™ uses the finest preserved, natural, Aloe vera offered in a correct combination with organic Vitamin E to guarantee that all the healing advantages of Aloe vera are retained.

Beta-mannan™ supplies excellent support for your immune system and enhances your energy level without stimulants. It brings back a healthy sense of wellness with a relaxed mental attitude and calms your nerves.

Dr Joe Glickman Jr Whitefish

When pains and stiffness lessen and mental clearness is enhanced, this helps your productivity naturally. Beta-mannan™ merely assists you feel better. Exactly what makes Beta-mannan™ different from all the other Aloe vera dietary supplements? The answer is simple.

Dr Glickman Whitefish Montana

In the fresh Aloe vera plant there are more than 200 different compounds. Some of these substances have strong laxative impacts. Other substances might cause allergies. Properly drawn out, the recovery substances of Aloe vera are devoid of these laxative impacts and totally free of the allergic reactions that can take place with fresh Aloe vera gel and other incorrectly prepared Aloe supplements.

Whitefish Dr Glickman

Beta-mannan™ contains only the drawn out beta-mannans and beta-glucans which have been revealed to have the healing benefits credited to Aloe vera with not one of the prospective adverse effects. These pure beta substances are in the carb family. Only protein substances, not sugars, are understood to cause allergies. For that reason an allergy to these beta extracts is most likely difficult.

Whitefish Montana Doctor Glickman

And the beta compounds in Beta-mannan™ have actually been used by thousands of clients exceeding 20 years without any instance of allergy or side effect ever mentioned. Here's just an example of exactly what you're about to discover when you start using the Beta-mannan™ Supplement: A boost in your energy and endurance. Restored mental clarity and alertness. A relaxed sensation and a favorable attitude. Improved enthusiasm with more energy! The action to Beta-mannan™ has been amazing.

Whitefish Doctor Glickman

So if you want improve your health and feel drastically better, simply click the "Order Now" button. Beta-mannan™ features Dr. Glickman's genuine 120-day money-back warranty. Why squander more of your time, effort, and sanity aiming to improve your health, improve your energy and stamina, restore your mental awareness, and recover your passion for life? You can now put an end to all that disappointment simply by attempting the impressive Aloe vera advantages discovered in Beta-mannan™. Get your subscription for Beta-mannan™ now and feel much better soon. Click the "Order Now" button and let's get you going today!

[montanadrjoeglickman-blog]

Montana Joe Glickman Jr MD

Doctor Joe Glickman Montana

It is my unique satisfaction to share with you the remarkable Beta-mannan™ dietary supplement. It can likewise decrease your discomforts and restore a peaceful mental mindset. This Aloe vera dietary supplement was established by Dr. Glickman a medical physician, author, and editor of medical books exceeding 20 years.

Joe Glickman Jr Montana

His famous medical publications, called Phantom Notes™, were published in 17 editions and have been offered in over 90% of US and Canadian Health Science and Medical School Bookstores. Sold in well over 30 nations, and published in a number of foreign languages, including Chinese, Phantom Notes™ explained the major scientific subjects of Internal Medicine, Surgery, OB-Gyn, and Pediatrics. Doctor Glickman’s medical books assisted in the training of tens of thousands medical students and nursing trainees accountable for thousands of clients.

Dr Glickman Whitefish

Phantom Notes™ were found to be an essential tool for medical physicians and nurses who needed the important diagnoses immediately. Phantom Notes™ assisted them to make the appropriate diagnosis in a medical emergency situation on the hospital wards. Medical students and doctors have composed lots of compliments about the Phantom Notes™.

Doctor Joe Glickman Jr Whitefish

Now, I mention Doctor Joe Glickman’s work on these medical books, which have been effective in the training of thousands of medical doctors and nursing students all over the world, so you can have confidence his ability to do the research necessary to establish the finest possible Aloe vera dietary supplement. Beta-mannan™ can make you feel much better and remain healthier! Numerous thousands of years of recorded history https://www.youtube.com/e/IcNXgbMETCg have actually recorded the famous recovery facits of the Aloe vera plant.

Doctor Joe Glickman Montana

And the healing wonders of the compounds in Aloe vera were more remarkable than the first researchers had imagined possible. Nevertheless, up until recently, doctors were puzzled. In the lab Aloe vera was frequently worthless due to the fact that the primary recovery component in Aloe vera degrades rapidly after harvest. After just a couple of hours, if not appropriately preserved, the active substance of Aloe vera breaks down. Not a great deal of doctors know that.

Whitefish Montana Joe Glickman Jr MD

Beta-mannan™ uses the finest protected, organic, Aloe vera available in a correct mix with natural Vitamin E to make certain that the recovery http://www.youtube.com advantages of Aloe vera are retained. Beta-mannan™ supplies excellent support for your body immune system and increases your energy level without caffeine. It brings back a healthy sense of wellness with a relaxed mental mindset and soothes your nerves.

Glickman Whitefish

When aches and stiffness reduce and psychological clarity is enhanced, this helps your productivity in a natural way. Beta-mannan™ just helps you feel better. Exactly what makes Beta-mannan™ separate from all the other Aloe vera dietary supplements? The response is simple.

Montana Dr Joe Glickman Jr

In the fresh Aloe vera plant there are more than two hundred different substances. Some of these substances have strong laxative results. Other compounds may cause allergies. Correctly extracted, the healing compounds of Aloe vera are free of these laxative impacts and complimentary of the allergic reactions that can take place with fresh Aloe vera gel and other poorly ready Aloe https://www.youtube.com supplements.

Joe Glickman Jr Montana

Beta-mannan™ includes just the extracted beta-mannans and beta-glucans which have been revealed to have the recovery advantages credited to Aloe vera with not one of the potential adverse effects. These pure beta compounds are in the carb family.

Only protein substances, not sugars, are understood to cause allergies. Therefore an allergic reaction to these beta extracts is most likely unknown.

Dr Joe Glickman Jr Montana

And the beta substances in Beta-mannan™ have actually been utilized by tens of thousands of individuals for over 20 years without any instance of allergy or side effect ever reported. Here's simply a taste of exactly what you're about to find when you begin using the Beta-mannan™ Supplement: An increase in your energy and endurance. New psychological clarity and awareness. An unstressed sensation and a positive mindset. Improved interest with more get up and go! The action to Beta-mannan™ has actually been incredible.

Montana Joe Glickman Jr MD

So if you wish to enhance your health and feel dramatically better, just click the "Order Now" button. Beta-mannan™ includes Dr. Glickman's unconditional 120-day money-back guarantee. Why lose more of your time, effort, and sanity trying improve your health, enhance your energy and endurance, restore your psychological alertness, and recuperate your passion for life? You can now put an end to all that disappointment simply by trying the exceptional Aloe vera advantages discovered in Beta-mannan™. Grab your membership for Beta-mannan™ now and feel better quickly. Click the "Order Now" button and let's get you started today!

[drglickmanwhitefish-blog]

Whitefish Montana Dr Glickman

Dr Glickman Whitefish

It is my unique satisfaction to show you the amazing Beta-mannan™ dietary supplement. It can surely reduce your discomforts and restore a relaxed mental attitude. This Aloe vera dietary supplement was developed by Dr. Joe Glickman, a medical doctor, author, and publisher of scientific manuscripts exceeding 2 decades.

Doctor Glickman Whitefish Montana

Dr. Glickman’s popular medical publications, called Phantom Notes™, were published in 17 editions and have actually been offered in over 90% of United States and Canadian Health Science and Medical School Bookstores. Sold in well over 30 countries, and translated in a number of foreign languages, including Chinese, Phantom Notes™ taught the major medical subjects of Surgery, Internal Medicine, Pediatrics, and OB-Gyn. Doctor Joe Glickman’s medical books helped in the educating of countless medical students and nursing students responsible for thousands of patients.

Doctor Joe Glickman Jr Montana

Phantom Notes™ were discovered to be an indispensable book for medical physicians and nurses who wanted the important facts right away. Phantom Notes™ helped them to determine the proper diagnosis in a medical emergency situation on the hospital wards. Medical trainees and medical professionals have written lots of compliments about the Phantom Notes™.

Montana Glickman

Now, I discuss Doctor Joe Glickman’s creation of these medical manuscripts, which have succeeded in the training of countless medical physicians and nursing students all over the world, so you can have belief in his capacity to do the research essential to establish the finest possible Aloe vera dietary supplement. Beta-mannan™ can make you feel much better and stay much healthier! Many thousands of years of recorded history have documented the famous recovery facits of the Aloe vera plant.

Whitefish Dr Glickman

And the healing benefits of the compounds in Aloe vera were more exceptional than the early scientists had actually thought of could occur. Nevertheless, until just recently, doctors were puzzled. In the lab Aloe vera was frequently of no value because the primary healing ingredient in Aloe vera deteriorates quickly after harvest. Within just a couple of hours, if not properly preserved, the critical compound of Aloe vera breaks down. Not a lot of doctors understand that.

Joe Glickman Jr Whitefish

Beta-mannan™ uses the best maintained, natural, Aloe vera available in an appropriate mix joe glickman whitefish with organic Vitamin E to make certain that all the healing benefits of Aloe vera stay. Beta-mannan™ offers outstanding support for your immune system and enhances your energy level without caffeine. It brings back a healthy sense of wellness with a relaxed psychological attitude and soothes your nerves.

Glickman Montana

When pains and stiffness decrease and psychological clarity improves, this assists your productivity in a natural way. Beta-mannan™ simply helps you feel much better. Exactly what makes Beta-mannan™ separate from all the other Aloe vera dietary supplements? The response is easy.

Doctor Joe Glickman Whitefish

In the fresh Aloe vera plant there are more than 200 different compounds. A few of these substances have strong laxative results. Other compounds might cause allergic responses. Appropriately drawn out, the recovery compounds of Aloe vera are without these Browse this site laxative effects and without the allergic responses that can happen with fresh Aloe vera gel and other improperly prepared Aloe supplements.

Dr Glickman Montana

Beta-mannan™ contains only the extracted beta-mannans and beta-glucans which have actually been revealed to have the recovery benefits attributed to Aloe vera with not one of the possible negative impacts. These pure beta substances are in the carbohydrate family. Just protein compounds, not carbs, are understood to cause allergies. For that reason allergic response to these beta extracts is probably unknown.

Dr Glickman Whitefish Montana

And the beta compounds in Beta-mannan™ have been utilized by tens of thousands of people for well over 20 years without any circumstances of allergic reaction or side effect ever reported. Here's just an example of exactly what you're about to notice when you start using the Beta-mannan™ Supplement: An increase in your energy and endurance. Restored mental clarity and awareness. An unstressed sensation and a favorable attitude. Enhanced enthusiasm with more get up and go! The action to Beta-mannan™ has been unbelievable.

Dr Joe Glickman Jr Whitefish Montana

So if you wish to enhance your health and feel significantly better, simply click the "Order Now" button. Beta-mannan™ includes Dr. Glickman's personal 120-day money-back assurance. Why squander more of your time, effort, and sanity attempting to enhance your health, increase your energy and stamina, restore your psychological alertness, and recover your passion for life? You can now put an end to all that aggravation just by attempting the exceptional Aloe vera advantages discovered in Beta-mannan™. Get your membership for Beta-mannan™ now and feel better quickly. Click the "Order Now" button and let's get you started right away!