#forgive me for wanting some shifting motivation

[atopfourthwall]

On a less emotional note, I'm sorry if I already asked you about this and forgot, but I've been watching a few of SF Debris' vids about DS9 and Dukat, and apparently the character went through a very...odd shift. In that the villain gains enough layers and nuance to the point where people start seeing him as not a villain; only for the writers to overcorrect it and establish his villainy as undeniable, but tossing away all that nuance. I was wondering what your own view on it was? Are there other examples of this happening in media you enjoy?

See, I have no problem with the villain shift. I don't even think his ending arc is particularly bad like a lot of people do. No, my problem is two-fold with him: 1-There should not have been any connection between Dukat and Kira's mom. Just makes things squicky and weird given how he treats Kira over the series plus slightly contradicts some earlier minor continuity stuff. 2-Him becoming more overtly villainous is perfectly fine - just because Space Hitler has some nuance and respectable qualities doesn't mean he isn't still Space Hitler and it was important to remind people who were forgiving him that he was Space Hitler. Waltz is where the shift is supposed to happen. Dukat makes his big impassioned defense of his actions, that he wasn't so bad, that he was fair and just... while descending further into madness and reminding us "Oh, yeah, he thinks that murdering 200 suspected people - not convicted, just SUSPECTED terrorists - is justice and not really fucking evil." His delusions and self-aggrandizement gets stripped away, his excuses and justifications fall apart even in his own eyes until he realizes "Oh, I actually fucking hate the Bajorans and want to kill them all because they don't love me for being their superior!" And you see that conclusion evident as he screams at Sisko "I have unfinished business on Bajor! They thought I was their enemy?! They don't KNOW what it is to be my enemy, but they will! From this moment forward, Bajor is DEAD! All of Bajor! And this time, not even their Emissary can save them!" It's a good moment, it's the shift of his character to being dedicated to destroying Bajor... aaand then NOPE. At first you might think given his next appearance in the season finale with the Pah-Wraith statue "Oh, he's continuing his arc," except then he tells Damar and Weyoun "Actually, I blame Sisko for my daughter's death and not you, Damar, even though I called the Defiant to go pick him up instead of leaving him to die." And then he uses the Pah-Wraith to close the wormhole. But then suddenly "Actually now I want peace with the Bajorans and have started a Pah-Wraith cult!" Admittedly, maybe you could argue it's because these Bajorans are all worshipful of him like he wanted, but it feels pretty unambiguous to go "I SHOULD HAVE KILLED THEM ALL" to "Nah, it's cool - they like me so it's fine!" Sure, in the finale he's all "Mwahahaha, the Pah Wraiths will burn across the galaxy" but his anger was originally directed STRICTLY at the Bajorans and now his motives seem a little broader for no good reason but otherwise doesn't really care about his specific vendetta.

[iris-shifts]

i'm sorry but searching for an x reader fic with a certain character and having nothing come up is so embarrassing

the site's like "who the fuck is reading this" 💀

[seoafin]

dick grayson x reader ~1k words

-

“Dick has a good head on his shoulders,” Clark says casually, hoping to bait Bruce into a full sentence.

“Hm.”

Not exactly a telling response.

The two of them stand on the grand patio overlooking Bruce's ostentatious backyard garden. Jon and Damian play with Titus and Krypto, a large stick in Jon’s hand. At the ground steps of the patio, you and Dick stand watching the boys from afar, Dick’s arm wrapped around your shoulder. Dick is speaking in your ear, and the only indication of you listening is the slight incline of your head towards him. Seconds later: a minuscule quirk of your lips.

“She seems like a nice girl,” Clark tries again.

Bruce crosses his arms, and doesn’t respond.  

A nice girl, he thinks. If not a bit reserved. From Bruce’s silence, he’d been expecting the worst.

Clark Kent, he had introduced himself while Jon had bounded over to you with a wide grin and a wave, before running off with Damian. Clark offered you a hand, and your gaze had dropped to it, expression unreadable. Clark had just begun to think he made some faux pas when you shook his hand. He’d been saved from further conversation when Dick entered the conversation. Seeing the two of you together, your silent demeanor, Dick’s sunny grin, had brought the thought of an unlikely pairing to mind. He couldn’t say anything to that: the same had been said of him and Lois. 

Bruce turned to him abruptly, face stony. “I need your assistance.”

Clark raises an eyebrow. “Meaning…? Take your time, I’ll wait.”

“Hmph. I’ll keep it short. You can register somatic nuances; minute biological responses to external stimuli.”

It’s Clark’s turn to cross his arms. Of course. Bruce and his second motivations. Always. From anyone else, the request would be offensive. “That’s an invasion of privacy, Bruce.”

“She’s in my house.”

Clark rolls his eyes exasperatedly. “Which means she’s a guest. Even worse. Does Dick know about this?”

Bruce stays silent. 

“She seems like a perfectly fine young woman. Jon likes her.” Much more impressively: Damian liked her.

“Forgive me for not taking your eleven year old son’s opinion into account,” Bruce replies curtly. “She’s suspicious.”

Clark pauses. He isn’t quite sure how to break it to Bruce that he’s pretty darn sure that Dick is serious enough to marry you. Clark wouldn't be surprised. But he’ll leave that for Alfred. At least Alfred gets paid.

“Well, the answer’s no.” Clark sees Damian trying to teach Krypto to sit while Jon rubs Titus’s belly. “You know, if you’re that worried, you could try talking to her. Or even Dick. How do you think he’ll take it if he finds out you wanted me to spy on her?”

“He wouldn’t.”

“You trained him,” Clark points out. “You know him better than anyone. I hope you’re ready to die on that hill.”

Bruce’s face quickly cycles through exactly three subtly shifting microexpressions, before settling on a distinctly judgemental purse of his lips. Clark only manages to catch all of it because of his superior Kryptonian senses.

“We should call the kids in soon,” Dick says, climbing up the patio stairs. “Alfred’ll have a fit if the food gets cold.”

Bruce grunts in affirmation. Dick raises an amused eyebrow. “It’s a bit too early to be nonverbal, isn’t it?”

“...”

“Is this about—? C’mon she apologized.” 

Clark’s curiosity is piqued. And well, Clark isn’t an investigative journalist for nothing. 

Dick grins, looking at Clark with a shared exasperation that comes with knowing Bruce Wayne for years. “Just a little mix up when they met. No harm done.” At Bruce, he pointedly says, "it was a joke."

Clark can't imagine you smiling, let alone tell a joke.

Dick looks out to the lawn where you’re nearly kneeling on the ground, petting Titus. Jon is in front of you, his mouth moving at an impressive speed. He wildly shakes the stick in his hand. You nod, serious in a way most adults aren’t when confronted with an eleven year old. It’s not difficult to see why Jon enjoys spending time with you. Damian shakes his head, exasperated as Krypto runs around him in circles. Dick’s face is fond. In love, Clark’s mind suggests. He knows that look on Dick’s face, as does Bruce. 

Clark has made it a point to try not to use his powers out of costume. Especially without good reason. There’s no telling how easy it’ll be to continue to use his powers once he starts. He decided early on that Clark Kent would be a normal human being, along with all the hardships and mundanity that came with it. And it all starts with acceding to the demands of a paranoid friend who would rather have him surveil his son’s girlfriend than talking it out.

That being said. Clark isn’t perfect.

It’s easy to loosen his ironclad control over his abilities, and listen. Just for a few seconds, he thinks. He won’t tell Bruce a thing. He refines his hearing, zeroing on the beating of your heart, roughly 50 yards away. It comes to him at once, past Jon chattering away to Damian, Krypto’s wagging tail, the rustle of leaves on the trees and the grass on the ground, past the rushing of your blood.

Your heartbeat is remarkably stable. 

Clark is intimately acquainted with the sound of different hearts. It’s a personal signature of a kind. Yours is…on par with Bruce’s heart right next to him. Trained, he wants to say, but shouldn’t. 

You turn your head, meeting his gaze, and Clark blinks, taken aback. Your face gives away nothing. You turn back to the boys.

“Damian, Jon, I think dinner’s ready,” he hears. 

Both boys straighten immediately, and Clark can hear stomachs rumbling.

Clark draws his hearing back, just as Dick shakes his head.

“You need to be civilized,” he tells Bruce. “Do you know how hard it was to convince her to come to dinner in the first place?”

“...”

Dick turns to him. “Will you make sure he doesn’t escape to the cave? Have him help Alfred set the table or something.”

Clark smiles as Bruce’s face turns foreboding. “My pleasure.”

Bruce wordlessly goes with him into the manor, their sons whizzing past them as they race each other to the dining room. The last thing he sees before the door closes behind him is Dick wrapping an arm around your waist.

[little-diable]

The Lord of Gifts (smut)

@theanythingbuthuman has to endure my rambling about Annatar 24/7, so I needed to write something with him and I couldn’t wait for Kinktober to pass. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: The reader seeks out Annatar’s company late at night as she fears that Sauron is close, robbing her of her sleep. Perhaps the lord of gifts can distract her for some moments.

Warnings: 18+, smut, oral (f), piv, semi public, lies because duh

Pairing: Annatar/Sauron x fem!reader (1.8k words)

“Please, (y/n), you don’t need to keep away.” His soft voice cozied her along, words dripping from his lips like the finest honey harvested in Eregion. Carefully, she stepped closer, eyes set on his handsome features, fully exposed due to the way he had made a bow out of his bright hair strands.

“Forgive me for disturbing you so late at night.” (Y/n) had to avert her gaze, fumbling with her fingers as she came to a halt close to Lord Annatar. She felt him shift closer, cold hand finding her warm chin to tilt her head up towards him. Heat buzzed through her at the touch, making the spot he touched tingle with excitement.

For the past days, she had found herself longing for some alone time with the being, the lord of gifts as he had been introduced by Master Celebrimbor. Something about him seemed to pull (y/n) in, something having a dark touch to it she couldn’t understand but feel fascinated about nevertheless.

“This is nothing to apologise for, I am always looking forward to your presence, (y/n).” The smile tugging on his lips had an addicting effect on her, unable to stop her grin from widening as he slowly let go of her - reluctantly almost. She had to stop herself from chasing the touch, forcing her feet to stay rooted to the ground while her eyes followed his frame.

Annatar sank down in one of the chairs, body hugged by his dark clothes, perfectly matching the fair contrast of his features and hair. He was truly beautiful, a distracting appearance hiding whatever he wanted to keep from curious eyes.

“What is it that keeps you up so late at night, (y/n)?” She watched him pour some wine before pointing towards the chair next to his, waiting for her to come sit. (Y/n)’s legs trembled as she walked closer, fingers interlocked in front of her before she sank down on the comfortable wooden chair.

“There is something lingering in the air, my lord. Something dark, something,” her breath hitched in her chest, wide eyes focusing on the dancing flames warming the workshop. Annatar had his eyebrows furrowed, lips slightly parted as he waited for her to keep on speaking. “Something dangerous, it is as if He has found me, speaking to me late at night to drive me towards my end. I feel as if I’m going insane.”

“Trust me, love, there is nothing you need to fear, not as long as I am with you. He can’t reach you within my grasp, that much I can promise.” She dared to look at him again, trying to decipher the emotions tugging on his features. His slender fingers found her trembling knee, placed on top of the fine fabric of her dress to keep close. Her heart skipped a beat at the unexpected touch, a touch calling for her to hold onto him, allowing her fingers to slowly find his.

“Have you ever met him?” The question rolled off her tongue without (y/n) being able to stop the words from hallowing through the empty workshop. His expression turned into something rather grim, as if he was plagued by thoughts and memories he had buried a long time ago. (Y/n) could see his jaw muscles clench and for a moment it seemed as if he was a completely different being, shape shifting into somebody else for just a fraction of a second.

“Let us not dim this night with memories dark and gruesome, (y/n). Let us cherish the quietness we have both been aching for.” The soft smile he shot her made (y/n) slightly relax in the chair. She could only nod her head, taking another sip of the wine as Annatar mimicked her movements.

“How do you pass your time when you’re not spending your time with Master Celebrimbor? Is your husband keeping you company?” A soft chuckle clawed through (y/n) at his question, followed by the shake of her head.

“If I were married I would not seek out your company this late at night, my lord.” Heat crawled up her spine, fuelled by the anticipation the smirk now widening on his lips made simmer deep inside of her. (Y/n) had to avert her gaze once again, wondering where she had found the confidence to speak words so teasing to a being this powerful.

Annatar rose to his feet, hand stretched out for (y/n) to take. A soft gasp left her as he pulled her against his chest, hand finding its way back to her chin, “Forgive my foolishness, but I couldn’t dare risk pushing you into a tangled web of misfortunes, (y/n).”

She got no time to overthink his words, pulled closer to let his lips ghost over hers. Her fingers found the fabrics covering his chest, fisting them in her trembling hands as he kissed her properly. Everything had stopped moving, time had lost its meaning, even the clouds no longer moved across the sky as Annatar kissed her breathless - at least that’s what it felt like to (y/n) and her racing mind.

Without breaking the kiss, (y/n) felt herself being pushed backwards, letting her smaller back press against the edge of a table. She was pushed onto the table, legs patted for the lord of gifts to rest between her thighs as he hungrily kissed her. Deep down, (y/n) found herself convinced that this was nothing but a dream, a play of her tired mind to pass its time, but the way his hands roughly grabbed her waist felt too real to be a mere dream, pulling her closer against him.

“I fear I don’t have the strength to hold back any longer, (y/n). The days in your closeness have been torturous as I was unable to touch you. Tell me, do you feel the same bond slumbering inside your chest?” The words were sweeter than any fruits she had ever eaten, any wine only the High King was fortunate enough to drink. Heat clung to every part of her body, forcing words to roll off her tongue while Annatar kissed his way down her throat.

“I do, my lord. I’m yours, I have been since the moment our paths were destined to cross.” It was all he needed to hear before he pushed her back down on the table. (Y/n) watched him push the fabric of her dress up to her waist, dipping his head down to kiss the insides of her thighs before his warm breath fanned over her heat.

“The night is short, our solitude will be disturbed, but soon we will find enough time to get lost in our longings, that much I can promise, love.” Her words got stuck in her throat the second his skilled tongue brushed over her folds, moaning at her taste. Gasps rolled off her tongue at the feeling of his fingers circling her pulsing bundle, touching her just like she had touched herself to the thought of him hours ago. He was eager, eating her out with an unfamiliar kind of urgency to push her towards the edge within a handful of seconds.

“Stars, this feels so good.” It wasn’t much she managed to speak, not many words that made it past her teeth, and yet they seemed to be enough to draw a chuckle out of the lord. His piercing eyes flickered up to meet hers, intently staring at (y/n) while he kept lapping at her folds, high on her taste.

Her hands found his bright hair, tugging on the roots to keep herself somewhat grounded. It felt as if she had lost all strength to guide her body, letting her back arch off the table the moment her thighs began to tremble, feeling her orgasm climb up her body. But seconds before she could fall off the edge with a call of his name, he parted from her.

“Let us become one. Will you allow us to find comfort with our bodies united, (y/n)?” His voice dripped with something raspy, something dark that made goosebumps appear on her limbs. The conscious part of her brain could tell that there was more to his words than she managed to pick up on, something the needy part of her couldn’t care about at that very moment.

“Take me, I’m yours for as long as you’ll have me.” Annatar dipped his head down to kiss her, letting their tongues fight for victory while he freed his cock. He aligned himself with her heat, and with their eyes holding contact again, he pushed into her. Another gasp rumbled through (y/n), robbing her of the last air lingering in her lungs as she desperately tried to adjust to his size.

“Breathe, love. Let yourself fall.” He began to move, slow at first, building a steady rhythm. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, keeping him close to feel as much of him as possible. Their lips found one another every few seconds, sharing kisses that matched the strength of his faster growing thrusts.

Moans clawed through the both of them, sounds that would forever ring in their minds as they thought back to this very moment. Annatar held onto her with a strong grip, spurred on by the feeling of her walls fluttering around him with every perfectly calculated thrust, pushing her further and further towards the edge once again.

She was sure that he was leaving bruises on her body, marking her for days to come - and yet (y/n) could only feel excitement at the thought of being marked by the lord of gifts. Her fingernails clawed at his skin, holding onto Annatar as her eyes fluttered close, tasting her close release on the tip of her tongue.

“Let go, let me hear the way you call out my name as lust drives you on.” Her mouth instantly followed his command, choking on Annatar’s name. (Y/n)’s orgasm clashed through her, buzzing through her veins while he kept snapping his hips against hers, following her down the edge seconds later. Another raspy moan left the lord, making a smile tug on her slightly swollen lips as she watched him come undone.

“I will have you until darkness rises again, until time loses all its meaning. Eternity will feel short in comparison to what our path ahead will look like, (y/n).”

[citygirlyuno305]

Yuno

This is weird but I’m going to speak as a person right now just generally, rather than as any kind of professional or anything. I’ve hesitated to say this for a while, and to speak on Yuno at all, because of my own complicated feelings and because I fear the fallout. But with the new cover and everything I feel like I have to, or I have to get it off my chest. So if you read this, I’m sorry in advance for indulging in what is undeniable projection and bias. I have to put a content warning for harmful sexual relationships and violence here.

I’ve never admitted this to anyone beyond those who already knew, or with my actual public profile or name/ID attached. At age 17, I’m already fucking cringing, I was involved in a sugar-daddy situation. Me, age 17, and a man who was about 40. He had a daughter two years younger than me. I met her. We were friends on facebook. We would eat dinner and I’d have sex with her dad for money after she left to go to her mom’s house. No, I did not need the money. I can’t begin to go into what motivated it at this time because it’s like scratching a barely healed scab. God, I feel gross even thinking about it. Engaging in things like that is unsafe for ANY high schooler. No one stopped me though. My parents didn’t know, and it was shockingly easy to conceal from them, but my friends and siblings did know. Some simply shrugged. Some asked to see pictures of the guy, encouraged it. Some even asked me to ask him if he had friends who wanted to do the same thing with them.

This was obviously disgustingly predatory, but also, just disregarding our ages, it was an extremely violent sexual relationship just generally. Any ‘I worship my sweet sugar baby’ shit when we spoke was significantly outweighed by the things I had to to do. But I did them and even managed not to feel dehumanized at the time because I literally hated myself. So his depreciation fed my own self-hatred. It became very out of control, very quickly.

Predictably, I got pregnant after a little while. Again, I was 17. It was legal, so I had to get an abortion myself. I was pro-choice my entire life- still am. Guess what? Despite that, I felt like shit about that abortion for years. Sometimes I still feel like shit about it. Does that make me getting an abortion less forgivable?

I ask because it seems to be how some are framing their view of Yuno’s innocence or guilt. And I’ve been nice about it or I’ve ignored it up until now, but it’s gotten to a point where it just makes me realize that a lot of people are selfishly self-imposing their own opinions on the character without taking the time to understand what the character themselves needs to heal- like it doesn’t matter to you whether she’s mentally well, or safe. If this doesnt apply to you I hope you take no offense. Is the abortion a huge part of her character? Of course. But it is far from her entire character, and I can’t help but feel like we failed her by not even considering other aspects of her mentality, even if our votes wouldnt change.

To the extent that she regrets her choice, I get that. For the great many people (mainly on twitter) who seem to think abortion is something you can “girlboss queen never cry” your way out of feeling anything for, you’re so woefully wrong that it’s almost alarming. First, being that Yuno’s seemed to be self-inflicted by throwing herself down fucking STAIRS, i can’t even begin to imagine the level of pain she felt. Even when I took that goddamn pill I felt like shit for a week. But more than the physical pain, there IS an emotional pain and a mental pain that just dulls everything else around you. Its more than just societal, the actual biological impact, the abrupt halt of natural processes and jarring hormonal shifts, it literally fucks with your body and your head. I did not want a baby at 17. I did not regret the choice. But I can fully see how some people do once they get an abortion because even for me, it literally felt like a part of me was missing. Gone. Like a part of ME was ripped out. I genuinely hope no one reading this ever has to go through that. And I can’t fathom how much worse that mental pain must be when the abortion is nonmedical.

Is that a reason to make abortion illegal? Fuck no. But I have to make that clear because even saying that has gotten me bombarded with accusations of being prolife, when I’m not.

And you know what, everyone was so kind to me about it, I’m so lucky, really, in retrospect I see that. But when I was SEVENTEEN, it became something that made me so blindingly mad- “its not your fault, youre just a kid, you didnt know.” Yes, I was a kid- but I did KNOW. It felt like that part of me that I killed-because yes, thats how it truly felt-also took my agency with it when it left. Like no one gave a shit enough to tell me that I made a shitty call insofar as getting into that relationship in the first place, and now I’m sitting there with this immeasurable feeling of self-hatred and guilt over something that I did willingly and knowingly (from my POV), I’m feeling this insane emptiness and pain and numbness and I have no one around me to blame so I internalize this self hate even more. Because I couldnt even be angry and upset without simultaneously feeling MORE guilt when the people around me weren’t lashing out at me. I don’t know how to describe this. It felt like no one was holding me accountable for hurting myself, and it was alarming and driving me insane to toe the line between being a victim of my own exercise of choice, and to have no one hold me accountable for the exercise of that choice, even though I myself would not hold anyone else accountable or call them guilty for making the same choice. It felt like no one gaf because those absolving comments designed to make me feel better also somehow felt like I was also being deprived of recognition for the somewhat traumatic experience that it truly was. And even now I really struggle to call it trauma because I still grapple with the idea that I cannot exercise a choice and call it trauma. But its like, no one is angry at the perpetrator (me) for what they did to the victim (also me). And if thats the case, do you really care about me at all? I don’t know. It’s hard to put into words. But that’s where I’m like, we have kind of deprived Yuno of her own victimhood by insisting her actions were victimless.

That said, seeing the line “I wanted you to care enough to scold me and tell me I was wrong” actually hit me pretty hard. I don’t blame Yuno for wanting people to care. Because it truly doesnt feel like it in this instance sometimes.

Double it and pass it to the next person if Yuno really did kill herself when she did it. Because at that point, we’re telling her two things- 1) abortion is okay you didn’t commit murder- okay, fine. But ALSO 2) its okay that you killed yourself, no harm done. No wonder she thinks we don’t give a shit about her, we were too busy politicizing her to consider the fact that we were telling her she didnt err when she fucking offed herself.

And I want this part to be absolutely, abundantly clear: I do not say any of this to demonize SWs. In a manner of speaking I was one. I’m not sure how similar it is to Yuno’s situation but broadly speaking, we live in a world that is generally unsafe for women. Particularly young women, and even more so teenage girls. And we shouldn’t be indifferent to a high schooler showing us that she was having sex with grown men for cash. We shouldn’t demonize her for it, but we shouldve cared enough to probe into what caused her to think this was something she should do. Her friends and parents didnt. I wasnt mentally well when I did it. And call it a girlboss queen shit thing all you want, it fucked me up monumentally after. I still cant think about it without feeling disgusted with myself. And I dont want Yuno to he disgusted with herself but I also dont want to affirm a belief that its genuinely not a problem for high schoolers to do this. People can scream about “well 18 is legal!!!!” all day- its a shitty argument to begin with, though. (If the law said 12 was the age of consent, would you feel comfortable saying “Well its legal!!!” to a relationship between a 12 year old and a 30 year old? No, right? Because the law is not always the baseline of morality). But- and again this is in no way designed to demonize sex workers- situations like Yuno’s are undeniably dangerous.

Is it her fault that something happens if she is attacked? Absolutely NOT. But I still wish someone had given a shit enough about me, my friends, siblings, anyone, to tell me to stop putting myself in a position where it could easily occur. They didnt even tell me that after I got the abortion. Its not that I wanted them to scold me for the abortion-I wanted ANYTHING, but if I’m specific, I wanted them to scold me for what led to it. I wanted them to yell at me for even getting into the sugar daddy situation, which I engaged in willfully because of my OWN self-loathing and need for some form of attention, my OWN warped perception of what constitutes positive attention and what I had to be of value and worthy of that attention. Because I was 17 and I knew that most every time I was yelled at by someone or scolded it was because they cared about me in some form, even if yelling was inappropriate in a given situation. Its weird- without giving too much away here, I managed to keep my abortion from my parents despite being a minor. Maybe half a year after the fact, I told my mom, and only because she was expressing this deep concern that I was suicidal, telling me I wasn’t myself. She wasn’t wrong, of course, I was completely different, idk about suicidal, but certainly depressed. When I told her, she cried, not because shes prolife or anything, but because she was so distraught that she didn’t see what was happening. Frankly she couldn’t have, with the way I went about it and how our lives are structured. And I hate when my mother cries, I love her to death. But her crying felt good. Not like weird masochism good, but like vindication good. Because I knew something was wrong but no one else seemed to think something was wrong for so long, and her weeping over this confirmed for me that yes, I’m right, something- anything- was materially, truly, WRONG with this situation. And when she probed for details I cried too because I forgot how good it felt to have someone who cared enough about me personally to go deeper than superficial opinions on political things, to actually form a personalized opinion or seek more detail as to me specifically. She begged me not to keep up the sugar baby thing, and she was right to do that, and it simultaneously fed my need for care while also maintaining my agency. I am truly lucky beyond words for getting to be my mother’s child.

Anyway, that said, I see how Yuno probably also wanted that from us. To care about the why, and not the what. It didn’t seem like her parents were super involved. Unless I’m missing something.

But that’s the thing, its complicated. I’m pro choice but I hated my choice, but I dont regret my choice, but I do regret it and don’t hate it- I literally can’t put it into words. Its not so black and white. And I think demonizing Yuno for maybe wanting that or harboring the same complicated feelings about her own situation is antithetical to the entire purpose of pro-choice ideology. Is her exercise of choice somehow less forgivable because she might regret her choice?

The answer should be no. To me, anyway.

I would like it if people gave Yuno the same energy that they give any other character. She is a person. She is not just a medium to express any given ideology. And give her the courtesy of trying to understand how it feels to be forgiven for something that you don’t forgive yourself for. Because it doesn’t feel good. I’m in my 20s now and still cannot forgive myself sometimes.

I’m not saying we should have voted X or Y or advocating that Yuno is some kind of monster for what she did. That’d be pretty hypocritical. I’m not unilaterally placing blame on Yuno for her actions either. I’m also not pretending we’re the same person- though the timeline conversation with Shidou where he tells her she’d be good as a healthcare professional, is alarmingly similar to something that happened to me. And that same “Haha, quit playing around,” that’s exactly what I did too. Because I hated myself too much to think it was true. And it took a lot of work to crawl out of that hole. Like, yeah, I’m a lawyer now. I have a different life. I do not require validation from sexual partners to feel joy, I understand the difference between good and bad attention. But part of me will always be partially submerged in it. I think ignorance to the reality that even something that isn’t itself immoral can have dire consequences on the actor goes unrecognized sometimes.

If someone called me a girlboss after my abortion, knowing the circumstances that gave rise to it, or not even bothering to address them, I would’ve blown my fucking brains out.

[celestial-sphere-press]

what kind/style of endbands do you usually do? they look so good 👀

hi!! sorry for taking a while to answer, I wanted to make sure I could give you my best answer.

I usually do what's called a "double core" endband. I use double core endbands over the "bead on front" method because bead on front style is not great for uneven distributions of color, irregular patterns, or using more than three colors. Functionally it works by having your extra threads wrapped up inside the thread that is showing, forming the smaller secondary core. Ultimately you are doing figure 8s around the main core & then your secondary core of thread. This keeps things pretty neat & tidy. The tutorial I first used was this one by DAS Bookbinding, though I don't think his endband tutorials are his best ones. Another binder I've spoken with endbands about a lot is maleeka, who recently did an endband tutorial herself.

maybe I should do one... but it takes a lot for me to get enough motivation to make videos. I'll take this opportunity to write up some tips I've shared when people ask instead:

1. Endband core material is the MOST IMPORTANT component. You need a core that is stiff but flexible - it should NOT be floppy because it wiggles everywhere under the tension of the thread, but still needs to flex with the opening & closing of the book. You want something that doesn't compress, to reduce tension shifts in thread creating a lumpy endband. Have a smooth core is less critical but helps to avoid snagging threads & allows you some leeway on sliding threads around for adjustments. My personal choice is smooth leather jewelers cord (link is just an example, I get mine from a local craft store).

2. Thread size. All your threads need to be the same size; it will be visible if you are using two different sizes, and mess with your front core. Additionally, I know lots of people will use larger twists of multiple strands of embroidery thread, which can work, but is more likely to compress & alter its size in unexpected ways. A single strand is preferable. If you want something thicker you can find some thread weights that are heavier twists intended to be used in a single strand, not pulled apart. I prefer smaller sizes because it works better for the gradient designs I like.

3. Silk thread is your friend (if you can spend the money on it). It reduces fuzz (no fuzz like you get with cotton/DMC embroidery thread), it's usually easier to manage, has a more compact twist, and a higher shine. I use Japanese silk hand sewing thread in size #9 (9号). There's multiple brands (Tire, Daruma, KNK/kanagawa, etc). Here's a wholesale listing (minimum 20,000¥ for international). A non-Japanese brand is Guterman silk (German brand). Both the Japanese & German threads come in a heavier weight (Japanese is #16, Guterman is buttonhole).

4. Thread tension is the most important part of the actual technique. You need to ensure the threads currently wrapped in the secondary core keep tension when you are working the thread around them.

5. Working on a curve. This is only really relevant if you're doing an endband on a rounded book, but the circumference of the curve means there's more real estate on the outside vs inside of the curve. Sometimes this can cause bunching on the secondary core. My own solution to this is that sometimes I wrap the primary core but drop a wrap here or there around the secondary core (only between two wraps of the same color I'm dropping). I uh... don't know of anyone currently recommending this besides myself so I can't point to any pro endorsement for this method, it's just what works for me. Forgive my terrible writing:

6. Pattern management. I... don't really plan much how my patterns sit on the spine, which is not very helpful. HOWEVER you can do some pattern management on the fly, if you really want your pattern to end at a certain place. Thread can be packed more or less densely on the core, resulting in some pattern compression; you could also strategically drop wraps in less noticeable locations. An unintended example: I was replicating the pattern on this endband (left) when I realize I wasn't packing the thread as densely as I had the first time around (right), which resulted in the overall pattern taking up more space. You can do this on purpose, if you need to.

this was way more than you asked but it gave me a chance to put all this in one spot. Best of luck in vanquishing the dreaded EndWyrms.

[heartcal]

overflow; c.h.

summary: calum breaks up with you over text instead of talking things out, but you're not settling for that. pairing: calum hood x gn!reader word count: 1,055 words warnings: mentions of stress, arguing, probably some swears (as usual), angst :^) (but some comfort), largely unedited + not proofread (written around 5am pls forgive me)

a/n: hi :^)) this is a lil piece i wrote after spending an entire day fixing my old laptop (that has been "dead" for 5 years) -- i used this laptop to write A LOT back then. since i have it working again, i had the motivation to write so i wanted to write and this is what came out :^) not for rejected (sorry :^( it's coming though!) but it's something! this was more like a writing exercise to get me back into things, so enjoy!

masterlist!

“I told you,” Calum scoffs, gripping the door handle to stop himself from shutting it in your face, “we’re done.” 

You shake your head, “Over text? Really?” 

He shrugs in response, eyes shifting behind you on a car passing by. He’s doing what he can to avoid any more direct eye contact. 

The everyday stress weighed on him, you note, as the dark circles under his eyes make any indication. There’s a slight redness surrounding his eyes and he’s blinking slower than normal. His shoulders are slumped, and you can hear it in his voice. He’s exhausted. 

You push past him and into the house – a home you once felt comfortable in – and it isn’t a welcome sight. Papers crumbled up and strewn around the living room, and various beverages in both cans and bottles littered the coffee table along with the end tables. Ash trays with countless cigarettes, used tissues, a slight musty odor tickled your nose with every other inhale. 

“What the hell, Calum?” You turn back to him, still standing by the now closed door, still avoiding your eyes. 

You sigh, your gaze shifting back to the mess in disbelief. 

You knew the stress was getting to him, and despite your best efforts to comfort him, it wore him down. The requests for him to take it easy, to take a break, to go for a walk with you to help clear his head; pointless, stupid, not helpful. His responses were pitiful, then they were disappointing, and eventually, maddening.  

You couldn’t take the pity party anymore. You wanted to be a good partner and be there for him but it was hard when he constantly pushed away any of your support. You didn’t want to watch Calum self-destruct when you were there to offer a shoulder to lean on. 

It started with a few snarky remarks here and there, originally going unnoticed by him (at least you believe they did, since he made no noise of acknowledgment). Then it evolved into quick albeit small retorts, which would then lead to you giving a few of your own.  

Was it petty? Absolutely, you’ll admit, and so did all your friends when you showed up to one of the latest get-togethers. They offered words of encouragement with their criticism of the situation. It’s just a small bump in the road, one said, patting your back gently, you both will get over it. 

Except neither of you did. The small bump devolved into a pothole, and your relationship went south. 

One snarky remark, then another, then another, and then another until it became name-calling and playground insults. The weight of everything poured over and you said something you didn’t mean. 

You were tired, too. You had your issues going on and he had known, and it was the fact that he was in his own world, too busy to notice you slipping like he was. 

It came to a head a week ago. Both of you spitting vitriol towards each other, too engrossed in trying to hurt the other to notice the look of heartbreak.  

“You know what? I’m done,” you breathe out, hands up in exasperation. 

Calum doesn’t say anything, rolling his eyes whilst nodding, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

You left the house that day, opting to stay with your friend hoping to clear your head in preparation for The Talk. But the days passed, and you received a text from Calum the night before. 

I can’t do this anymore. We’re done. 

It was stupid, you thought, to break things off over text. Childish, even, and you wanted to tell him that to his face. 

So the next day, you made your way over with a full speech ready to go. He was going to listen to you for the first time in a while whether he liked it or not. 

But the speech and any witty jabs were gone when you arrived, and upon walking into the house you were in just a week ago, the gravity of the situation dawned on you. 

You gulp, turning to face Calum. His eyes jumped up to look at the movement before moving down to look at his nails as he picked at the dirt underneath the fingernails. 

Your mouth opens, ready to speak, but it snaps shut as Calum’s stance changes. “Don’t.” 

“I didn’t even say anything.” 

“You were going to,” he steps away from the door, “and I know what you were going to say.” 

He knows you’re starting to pity him. He knows and he hates it. 

Your jaw clenches. You won’t get anywhere with him if he’s acting like this. You sniffle, warmth beginning to surround your eyes, “No, Calum, let me speak.” 

He inhales, ready to open his mouth to respond, but his mouth doesn’t move. 

“You’re digging yourself into this...this hole. I mean, look at this place--” your hands gesture to the living room, “--it’s a mess, Calum! This is unhealthy, physically and mentally. I’m worried about you.” 

Calum still says nothing, but his eyes finally make contact with yours. Your breath hitches, noticing the redness in his eyes has spread, unshed tears dance around his lower lids. There’s a slight tremble in his jaw, his breathing starting to pick up. 

“I’m worried about you, Calum,” you repeat, taking a hesitant step towards him, “I care about you. I just want you to talk to me, and I mean really talk to me.” 

He doesn’t move as you inch closer. He doesn’t move when you reach for his shaking hands, holding them in yours.  

His tears finally fall once you squeeze his hands, reassuring him that you’re here. 

He shakes his hands free from yours, bringing them up to wrap you in a tight hug while mumbling numerous apologies. 

Apologies for the insults, his attitude, his silence, and his behavior overall. He’s near inconsolable, hands tightening on your shirt, not caring about the tears staining it as he nuzzles his head into your neck.  

You soothe him, gently scratching his back. 

“Let’s talk, yeah?” 

He pulls away after a beat of silence, agreeing with puffy eyes, one hand still on your back. 

It’s not going to be an easy conversation, but it’s sure going to be a hell of a lot better than keeping everything in again.  

[verystrxxwberry]

Hi!!! I didn't know you were writing scenarios about newgen :o. What are your thoughts on newgen so far and which route are you following? I'm still torn between Roy, Devon and Thomas.

I can't wait to see how the first kiss will be with the three of them, so I'd love to read your take on how do you think it would happen and how the routes would feel about it.

🫂❤️

MCL NEW GEN; first kiss headcanons!

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: sfw, fluff, routes x reader, long scenarios… (I got romantic) ↝ 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: Yes, I finally dared to write for these people because I found myself enjoying a lot of the story as I played. I think it’s pretty cool, but the system of AP's and getting the gems is awful… And by now I am terribly obsessed with Thomas, I love him! 

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

DEVON

It wasn’t his intention to give you extra hours at the office, but somehow you were the only one he needed besides him at that moment. Your presence helped him to focus, it motivated him as he knew that anytime he shifted his head he’d be able to see you. After months working there, he showed proudness and respect to the way you developed your skills.

He was aware of the torture he made you go through. Maybe it wasn’t as pleasant for you as it was for him to spend time alone with you, that’s why he even invited you to a small cup of coffee so you could get some energy.

It was already 8 PM when he decided that you two should call it a day in the office and rest. As you picked up your stuff, he waited for you and apologized for making you work extra hours, and he will pay it as a plus in the salary, that’s for sure.

It was night already so he decided to stay with you until the bus came. You knew that since you started working in Devenementiel there was a growing tension whenever you find yourself sharing space with only your boss. He was the kind of boss everyone wanted to have: attentive, kind, that actually helps you to grow positively, he had a playful side that knew when to come out and light up anyone's mood. He was a great boss.

And it was even more great whenever he came close to you to help you, allowing you to feel his warm breath on your shoulder, or even when he took your hands gently in his to guide you when he was teaching you to do something. You knew deep inside that he was not really subtle with the way you called his interest.

You took courage to initiate this, asking playfully: “so… you are planning on giving me a plus, right?” Which he nodded in response, his hazel eyes focusing on you. “Alright, that’s a working payment. But what about giving me a personal plus? You know, a personal payment…”

For one second you thought you humiliated yourself as he seemed to get deep in thought, but right before you had time to get flustered, he released a melodic laugh as he placed his hand on your shoulder. “Oh, how greedy, so you want more money?”

“No, I wasn’t talking about money…” You mutter timidly as he seemed to find your offer amusing. “Probably… I don’t know, going out for dinner together or something.”

His smirk never disappeared, only growing the more you spoke. He hummed, looking at his phone to check the date. “This week is difficult…” You saw Devon thinking one more time, his eyes falling once again in you. “But deal. I just hope you can forgive me for making you wait.” He saw the bus at the beginning of the street and he sighed. “Call me impatient, but today I will pay you differently.” 

You had no time to react when he cupped your chin and leaned down to press his lips against yours. It took you by surprise, so you didn’t have time to react or to kiss back. You’d feel him smile against your lips, knowing perfectly that he surprised you with that. And after a few seconds he separated. The bus was already reaching the stop where you both were.

“See you tomorrow. Rest well.” He spoke with his usual tone, his hand caressing your cheek before he separated and walked away towards his house. He went to his house with a proud smile on his face. And seeing your shy expression about it the next day would make him laugh quietly. He should spoil you like that more often.

ROY 

You decided to spend your day off in a calm way, spending your day resting at home and enjoying the peace of having no responsibilities other than breathing. But that peace got interrupted when your phone vibrated with a great spam of notifications- your great friend and colleague, Roy, was asking you to meet him on the beach to go for a walk.

He was truly happy when you agreed to meet him. Even if you were on your day off, he still had to work and he had a lot to rant about. He had always been very open about his feelings and thoughts, and it was funny to see him whine so much about Jason being a pain in the ass.

You walked through the streets, buying a drink and then going to the beach to sit on the sand and keep listening to him ranting and ranting. There was a point in which you chuckled, shaking your head “hey… you are in a meeting with me, could you forget about job for a whole hour?” Even if you requested it in a playful tone, he knew you were serious. He whined playfully, laying down in the sand, using his arms as a pillow.

“Ow, I thought you’d always listen to me…” He was being a dramatic queen, like most of the times. You know he was playing though. “Then rant at me about anything.” He told you as he closed his eyes, enjoying the soft breeze that caressed his stunning features. You knew that Roy meant it, and he is capable of listening to you as much as you need. He is the type of guy that likes to give what he receives.

He is silent as he listens to you, taking spontaneous sips from his drink and nodding at your words. The sun was setting and soon would be night, but that wasn’t a bother for any of you. 

You looked at him as you finished your ranting, seeing him so peaceful. He was definitely the sleeping beauty, but he wasn’t sleeping yet. The silence in between you both was comfortable, allowing the ocean waves crashing into the sand to be the only noise interrupting the peace- but it only gave more peace. He opened one of his eyes to check on you, a little smile drawing on his face when he saw you looking at him already.

“C’mere.” He spoke in such a low tone that it was almost like a whisper, extending one of his arms to invite you to lie down in his embrace. And how to reject that offer. The contrast of his warm body to the cold breeze that was around you was comforting. He pulled you close, letting your head rest on his chest. You could feel it raising and going down with each calm breath he took.

You didn’t even care about how the minutes passed, he kept himself entertained by playing with your hair. When he felt your pleasant sigh he reincorporated a little bit to look down at you: “Are you falling asleep on me?” He asked playfully. Yet you shook your head, your cheeks being slightly warm at how you found his dark eyes connecting with yours.

“Ah, you look adorable..” He whispered with a little smile. You saw his eyes shine with affection as he looked down at you, and that only motivated you to lean in slightly. He noticed your movement and cupped your cheek, moving your head slightly. Without thinking you two cut the distance that separated your lips, and he didn’t even wait to kiss back, allowing you to explore each others’ mouth. It was warm, gentle yet slow. His hands placed gently over your waist, holding you firmly against him.

No matter how much you want to make it soft, Roy is a tease and will end up adding his tongue into the kiss, the wetness tracing your bottom lip and making you squirm. He chuckles when he sees your nervous reaction in front of it. You'd separate a little for air, his lips only centimeters away from yours and whispering “Your lips are soft… could I try them again?”

If you don’t stop him, he won’t stop himself either. The only thing stopping him from devouring you would be the fact that you were in public, but he’s up to a making out session there.

AMANDA

You decided to join Amanda in work as she organized some papers for an upcoming party that a client asked your company to organize. The conversation between you both was casual, offering a brainstorm of great ideas which you complimented each other. 

She spoke about some experiences she had related to the subject of the party as she sketched randomly stuff in a paper. The way her pupils dilated every time she spoke to you was a detail you couldn’t forget about her, as well as the way her fluffy cheeks held that natural blush from her skin. Even though you realize that every time Amanda was alone with you, her cheeks were redder than usual.

The brainstorm was done and you both started to do small sketches of the design of the party, Amanda even offered to put some cozy music in the back so you both could work in peace and comfort.

Her voice was sweet as she hummed to the song. The scent of her perfume exposed her wealth, you could smell it even if the distance in between you wasn’t as close as you would have liked. You were across the table, looking at her and not even realizing that you were probably staring for too long.

Amanda was looking down at the papers, some strands of her hair not allowing you to see her face properly, but it just gave her a more attractive view of her. You decided to move your hand in direction to her face, placing one of her loosened stands right behind her ear. You noticed she got startled, but a timid smile appeared on her face as she looked up at you. 

It took her a few seconds to realize that she was also staring back at you, clearing her throat and nervously looking away. “Do you want to take a break?” she offered, her voice sounding low and sweet, not as demanding or confident as she usually was. You nodded and she added: “Then I will go buy some pastries for us.” 

There was no way she was going alone, so you decided immediately to stand up. “I will go with you” you spoke with a firm tone, and she nodded, organizing all the papers over the table and walking with you towards the bakery. 

As you waited in the queue to buy, she decided to hold your arm carefully, checking if you’d be comfortable with it. You allowed her, caressing her arm in an instinctive way. You noticed she was leaning to you to whisper something to your ear, but you also leaned towards her. 

Your lips didn’t meet, but you were so close that Amanda forgot how to breathe at that moment. She didn’t know what she was doing yet her body impulsed her to steal a small kiss from your lips. After it, she separated quickly and looked away, her skin as red as a tomato as she tried to calm down the way her heart would stop beating like crazy. That was something she was wishing to do for so long, yet she didn't think twice before doing it and that made her terribly embarrassed.

In case you didn’t have any topic to talk about, the walk back at the office would be filled of an awkward silence. She was still shy, drowned in her own thoughts. Your mind started wondering about how to make her come back to earth. You closed the door of the meeting room right behind your back, then you muttered “did you like it?”

“Like what?” She asked in a monotonous and low tone, still lost in her deep thoughts. 

“The kiss. Did you like the kiss?” You asked and observed her at the minimum detail, how her eyes seemed to look up at you once again, searching your gaze with a nervous expression. She slowly nodded her head and that made you feel those butterflies once again. This time you were the one taking initiative, holding her hand and pulling her closer so you could kiss her once again. She was tense at first, but she closed her eyes and kissed back, allowing herself to melt into that tender kiss, her arms wrapping around your neck as she pulled you closer.

That seemed to light up her mood, and you could notice how she was more kind towards everyone. Maybe you should kiss her more often to see how adorable she can get to be after it.

THOMAS

It takes him too long to realize that you like him in that way, no matter all the hints you throw at him about your feelings. He is too focused on how he suddenly gets an intense adrenaline in his stomach when he is around you than how you act towards him. He doesn’t dare to make any step because he would consider it a loss of time in case he gets rejected. And in case he gets accepted he’d leave the scene with a stoic face, even if his hands are all sweaty from the anxiety.

He decided to ask you if you would like to go on a ride in his motorbike after work. And you gladly accepted to do so. You’ve been for a couple of months developing feelings with him, but you didn’t know if he even felt the same. But it was a fact that you both grew closer to each other as time passed.

He waited for you outside your house, checking his phone as he was resting against his motorbike. He was still wearing his helmet and he had another one held by his arm. When he saw you, he hid his phone and waited for you to approach. Usually he’d let you put the helmet yourself, but when he was in a good mood he was the one putting it on you. And Thomas was in a great mood today.

It was surprising how gentle he was with his acts no matter the coldness of his voice. He offered you his arm to help you get on the motorbike. “Hold on tight.” He patted his waist, inviting you to wrap your arms around it, and you didn’t even think twice to do it. 

He is good at riding the motorbike, being gentler and more careful as you were with him. Though he would increase the speed of it just to tease you, feeling your grip tighten around his waist as he kept a smirk under his helmet. The thought of your body pressed against him only made him feel even more adrenaline.

After a few minutes of the ride, he went to the upper part of the city, parking his motorbike and giving you the task of jumping down his motorbike because he found the struggle you had to reach the floor adorable. He removed his helmet and rested his elbows over the balcony.

That area allowed you to have a great view of the city and further. The streets filled with colorful lights made it seem alive, just as the windows of the buildings showing different lives as if it was a TV show. It was entertaining to see the city from there. And even if you had the chance to see all the city, filled of life, there was no absolute sound that interrupted the whisper of the wind.

“The view is beautiful…” You heard him whisper, and you nodded, agreeing with him. What you didn’t realize is that his eyes weren’t on the big landscape in front of you both: his light teal eyes were focused on you. He approached a little towards you, making you think that he was actually cold as he gripped tightly his own arms, which were crossed over the railing. 

You didn’t have the usual occasion to be as close as you were to him at that moment, your arms touching casually. And luckily he didn’t separate as he always used to do, you secretly appreciated it. “I must say… I’m glad I joined you tonight.” You whispered honestly, waiting for his answer as you looked up at his neutral expression. 

“I am glad you joined too.” He affirmed, a light smile appearing on his lips. The pinky color on his lips made his pale face look more alive, if not… you would’ve believed he was a corpse. They weren’t too thin but too thick either, they were just perfect. His eyes were shining but you couldn’t read his expression, he was just… sharing the moment with you. He was staring back at your lips as he saw how you did the same, but didn't say a word.

You were aware that he wouldn’t take the step to break the tension that was in between you right now. With an impulse of adrenaline, you grabbed him by the neck and made him lean down so he was at the perfect height for you to finally brush your lips together for the first time. He didn’t make a single move. He was paralyzed.

It was confusing, you didn’t know if he liked it, but when you separated you saw his cheeks completely red. He didn’t make a comment about it, simply clearing his throat and looking towards the city. 

He changed the subject, which made you confused and quite disappointed. He didn’t mention anything related to the kiss. You almost felt guilty for doing so- then the meeting reached its end and you were finally alone in your house. 

After some minutes overthinking you received a few messages from Thomas:

“Hey. The meeting was great. I just hope the next time you give me more time to react. I really wanted to kiss you properly. Can you do it again next time? Kiss me, I mean.”

JASON

You absolutely despised the cocky smile that was always on his terribly handsome face. You would rip his face if you could, because you also hated the fact you felt the temperature raise whenever you saw him.

His presence was notorious wherever he was. No matter if you didn’t see him, you could feel the air quite tense and that someone you didn’t specifically like was there. Well, you lied to yourself. You told yourself you hated him, that he was your enemy- but every time he looked at you with those deep blue eyes, with a confident personality, it sent you to your knees whenever it showed. After arguing with him in a competitive way, you simply waited for the next time you could see him again. 

Oh and don’t you think that was something you only hoped for. He also couldn’t wait to see you after any “unexpected” meeting, where the rivalry between your companies was notorious. You turned into his favorite victim to tease with his clear superiority, making mocking remarks just to see the cute frown that appeared in your face any time he became a pain in the ass. 

He loved that about you, he loved how expressive you were, yet how stubborn you were with your own feelings. Jason wasn’t dumb, he knew that even if you were frowning and trying to argue back with him, your face was warm from how flustered he made you. 

You finally saw his tall shape among the people. And you didn’t go unnoticed.  This time he won, as the main client for which you competed for preferred Goldreamz. And yes, the fancy decoration was incredibly stunning and all, but that was still a big hurtful step to your company.

He held an elegant glass of wine in his hand as he listened to one client. Jason had the habit of keeping eye contact with whoever he was talking to, but in that moment he found it more exciting to fix his gaze on you, his grin widening as he saw you looking back. 

You tried to focus on the conversation your coworkers were currently having, but the blue of his eyes was hypnotizing. Jason finished the conversation with that client and signed you with simply one finger and the movement of his head to follow him. You had to put an excuse to leave, saying you had to take the air. 

The quickened steps soon allowed you to meet him at the roof of the building. The music from the party was drowned by the closed doors behind you. He turned around and exhaled contentedly, “I suppose you can’t enjoy the fresh air of victory as I do, right?” That playful remark was annoying. 

As always, he had really mature ways to start a conversation, sarcastically speaking. You attacked him by that, for being so childish to compare both of your companies that way. He loved to see you release that anger, it was something that made him smile proudly.

Jason spent a few minutes listening to your rage rant, yet he didn’t take it personal. There was something within him that made him know that you simply spoke like that because of the competence, but he saw by the way you both looked at each other before that the hate could be simply a superficial and professional cover to your feelings.

He decided to be unprofessional. You didn’t have time to react when suddenly your breath was caught by his lips, which took yours in a fiery kiss, almost as if he had been impatient to wait longer. Your words were completely swallowed by his hungry lips, making sure it was passionate enough to not allow you to speak after it. One of his hands tangled in your hair as the other held you firmly by the small of your back. He separated reluctantly, his breath heavy, but not as much as yours. 

“Ah… the sweet taste of victory…” He purred. His eyes were so expressive that you could tell he would keep going with kissing you if you weren’t in a place where you had to keep your dignity. “And the perfect peace of silence…” he whispers, teasing you for getting quiet after he almost devoured you. 

His touch was like fire to your skin, and you quite missed it when he separated to go back to the party. You were too stunned to act yet. You truly needed to take some air after it this time.

Jason felt like he truly won that night, not only for keeping a good impression of his company, but also because he achieved to take a taste of your lips.

✰; remember to reblog and like to support my content, I hope you enjoyed it!

[lovebvni]

reality shifting changed who i am

reality shifting was a tool in improving my life emotionally, spiritually and mentally.

i was a person who was seriously judgemental, afraid, and just overall… a hater. but when i was introduced to reality shifting, i was forced to step outside of that box.

i have mentioned this before, but i used to be very uncomfortable with the term “witchcraft” and what i believed it to be. when someone said tarot cards, or a tarot reading, i would believe they were somehow linking up with the devil and speaking through him or something.

then i had a friend who slowly introduced me to it after i made a blog about channeling. he pushed me into doing more research on it and finding out what it actually was. then i bought my first tarot deck — from five below (an american store similar to a dollar store)

i began messing around with them, asking random questions, getting to know them, and doing readings on my basement floor. was i still scared? hell yes. did i conquer that fear? duh. i’m here now.

through tarot i began to learn about deities. and something was telling me “loki is reaching out” and i asked the same friend from before about it and he was like “yeah, that’s loki. try to do a reading”

and i did. then i started learning about past lives.

past lives, simply, are lives your soul used to be in. and i learned things can (and tend to) stick when passing from life to life. and may of those things are not our fault anymore. you aren’t the same person you were yesterday, so how are you gonna compare yourself to 60000 years ago? you can’t! you have changed.

and that helped me realize that it is true in my current reality too. i made mistakes in the past, but i have changed. i have asked over and over for forgiveness, i have prayed about it, and apologized so many times… but i never forgave myself. that was my issue.

but, without shifting, i wouldn’t have learned to let go, and that we evolve and change daily.

shifting has helped me with a lot of shit… big and small… and i am still learning to this day.

shifting is an art you can express yourself through. it improves you in all acts of life. i learned self care, not to overwork myself, to take breaks, listen to my intuition, that i am powerful, and more :)

now, all i want to say is reflect on your shifting journey and how you have changed throughout it. it should give you some motivation.

with love, as always,

the abyss

[ematini]

What is your opinion on people calling Caitlyn a sexual predator/predatory lesbian?

I definitely can't blame people for saying that, because the two on screen relationships Caitlyn has, Vi and Maddie have EXTREME power imbalance.

It happens not once but TWICE, and neither is mentioned or acknowledged by any character. That's a pattern of behavior. And what conclusion are we supposed to draw from it? Because all signs point to Cailtyn just not caring about the difference in status. People are not pulling accusations like that out of their ass, like certain individuals claim, because they're very clearly shown on screen, just not properly explained/addressed.

What also bothers me is that if the writers wanted to avoid dealing with that, both of those issues could've been avoided by making some changes in the writing. If they wanted to keep Maddie a traitor, just make her a young officer who shows admiration towards Caitlyn, assures her she's doing the right thing, and subtly pushes her more towards Ambessa. If they wanted a rebound plot line, why not make Cait's affair partner another Councilor's daughter? They wouldn't even have to go through the trouble of explaining that entire lore. The natural conclusion would be that they've known each other since childhood through their parents, and the writers would have their motive of Caitlyn trying to date someone her mother would approve of.

Again, i know Caitlyn is not written to be that way. That was not the goal. It's just the writers' ignorance shining through once more. They either didn't catch on the implications or just straight up waved a dismissive hand at it. They swept it under the rug by making Maddie a traitor, which shifts all the blame onto her and not even mention the issues her relationship with Vi has. You can't just write motifs like that, then ignore them and explain your motivations in interviews. Especially if, by the end, the goal is clearly for us to understand and forgive Caitlyn. You're portraing a "hero" character (morally grey or not, Cailtyn is meant to be a hero in the story) in a bad light and instead of letting people form their own opinions on their behavior, you're forcefully attempting to sway our judgment, by ignoring half the shitty things they did. If people have to read interviews to understand what you were aiming for, that shows a flaw in your writing.

[fuck-customers]

oh my god one of my managers is awful. she’s still pretty new in the position and didn’t get a lot of training so i try very hard to be understanding and forgiving, but it’s getting to the point where i want to send her home every day. for context i am like. half a step above her in the management hierarchy— not quite her boss, but she isn’t on my level yet.

she doesn’t manage. at all. if we have red tickets she’ll say “come on guys let’s get out of red!” and then do nothing else. at all. just half-ass motivational snippets. that does NOTHING. she’ll watch someone do something wrong, watch someone do something that costs us seconds, and just says something non specific about doing better. my bosses and i and presumably other managers on my level have all tried to coach her through it. i had a big conversation w her last time we closed about how just saying “let’s get out of red” doesn’t accomplish anything, and how she needs to be actionable and call out things that are going wrong and how to fix them. she has to coach. and she doesn’t. and she seemed receptive, but she’s made zero changes since then!

and if she DOES try to manage!! if she does try to move crew people around to accomplish a task!! it’s always in the worst possible way!! she sends our kitchen people off to do cleaning tasks while there’s red tickets. she sends our service crew off to stock while there’s orders that need to be taken. and if she covers any of those people herself, she does a mediocre job and refuses to pull them back into position, and gets mad at me if i make those changes for her. same as w coaching, ill have a conversation w her about it, but this time she gets defensive and angry. she says i have to let her make the mistakes, which is fine, but also she has to recognize those mistakes and make efforts to fix it next time, and she doesn’t!!!!

oh also she calls in all the time AFTER her shift was supposed to start! she’s chronically ill which i understand, but some sort of heads up would be great. one time i called her two hours after her shift started and she said she’d been at the hospital all day. yeah take the day off 100% get yourself feeling better— but she couldn’t have texted somebody at some point??? she said she’d been in the waiting room for an hour that morning, use that time to text somebody!!! for the love of god!!!! you’re a manager!! it’s not easy to find coverage for you or make plans around your absence!!!

i LOVED her when she was a crew person. now she’s in management i hate her.

Posted by admin Rodney

[sluttywonwoo]

instead of you [part twenty-six] || l.mh

pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either. 

warnings: swearing, angst, smut (mdni)

word count: 5.1k

a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!

series masterlist | early access to the next chapter on ko-fi

additional smut warnings: oral (f receiving), protected sex, multiple orgasms

The silence that followed your admission was excruciating. You wished you knew what Minho was thinking. He was impossible to read, aside from the evident anger written all over his face. His body language didn’t give much away either. He was closed off, arms folded across his chest, chin raised just slightly. 

“So who are you then?” he demanded, tone even despite being the exact opposite mere moments ago. 

“What?”

“Who are you? Are you just some girl that Jisung is using?”

“What the fuck, no!”

“Why are you acting like that’s some outrageous possibility? I just found out you’ve been lying to everyone all summer!”

“I’ve been Jisung’s best friend for like four years now, I’m all over his Instagram! Felix came to visit us and we all hung out, there are pictures of that too. I can’t believe you’d think I’m some random person!”

“You’ll have to forgive me for not thinking completely rationally right now!” he spat. “Why the hell would Jisung lie about- why would he say he had a girlfriend if he didn’t?”

“It’s a long story,” you mumbled with a sigh. “But we really don’t have time to get into that right now. I came up here because I was supposed to bring you back to the room.”

Minho made a face. “What, why?”

“Your cousins called.”

The shift in his demeanor was immediate. He visibly perked up, but only briefly, before seeming to remember the conversation he was having. “Jeongin and Yoon?”

“Yeah. Everyone else is on FaceTime with them right now. I told everyone I’d come to get you so that none of them would have to miss out on talking to him,” you explained. “So we should probably get going because I don’t know how long he has to chat.”

“Fine,” Minho surrendered easily, “but we’re not done talking about this.”

“Yeah, yeah I know,” you sighed again, still feeling nauseous. With everything that had already happened, you knew there was no way that this could end well. But now, now that one person knew it was all a lie, you were fucked. “Just… don’t tell anyone, please?”

He pursed his lips but nodded. “You sure have a lot of secrets to keep track of, don’t you?”

It was meant to sting, and it did, but you didn’t let him see the crack in the glass. 

“I could say the same for you.”

-

You slipped into your room as soon as you got back to the penthouse, not wanting to face any of the other Hans, especially not your best friend. You collapsed onto the bed with a muffled scream into your pillow. 

You expected yourself to start crying, but the tears didn’t come. They wouldn’t come. The initial panic had been replaced with numbness. Apathy personified, you could feel it spreading from your heart out through your veins, creating a tingling sensation that reached the very tips of your fingers. 

You had to tell Jisung, right? He’d understand… probably. You hadn’t told Minho. He figured it out on his own. Yeah, you should tell Jisung and then you could also come clean about… everything else. Maybe. But maybe you could also take it to your grave since it seemed like any possibility of you and Minho becoming an item, whatever that implied, was out of the question now. You knew he didn’t want anything to do with you anymore. Not after tonight. You couldn’t erase his look of betrayal from your mind no matter how hard you tried. 

Just how many people were you hurting by merely being on this trip? There was no way to know for sure, not that knowing would make you feel any less guilty. 

Maybe it was better not to tell Jisung. Maybe you could pretend like everything was fine, and then it would be. But that was what had gotten you in trouble in the first place. 

You hadn’t realized you had fallen asleep until you woke up with a jolt some hours later. The room was dark. The lamp had been switched off and the blinds were shut. Jisung was snoring softly beside you. He was tucked under the covers while you were still laying on top of them. 

You rolled over and felt for your phone, finding it underneath your pillow. You were surprised to see that you had missed a text from Minho. It was from an hour and a half ago and just said can you meet me in room 422? 

You weren’t sure if he would still be waiting there since it had been so long since he sent the message, but you responded with a tentative sure and quietly snuck out of your bedroom. You hoped Jisung wouldn’t wake up before you returned. Having to explain where you were or why you were there would only complicate things. You still hadn’t decided whether or not to tell him… anything. You needed more time to think things through. At least, that’s the excuse you told yourself. 

The fourth floor was eerily quiet, reminding you of how late it was. Stepping off the elevator into the hallway felt like a mistake, like you were trespassing on private property. Minho hadn’t replied to your text so you didn’t know if he was still awake, but you knocked at the door anyway. He answered after the second knock. 

“There you are,” he said and stepped aside to let you in. He seemed to have cooled down, which was a good sign, but there was still tension lingering between you. 

You slid by him, stopping in the entryway just past the door. The room he had summoned you to was just a plain hotel room. There was a queen-size bed in the middle of the room and a desk in the corner, but not much else. 

“You can sit wherever.”

You nodded in acknowledgment and perched yourself on the edge of the bed. Minho followed you but refrained from sitting, choosing to lean back against the dresser so that he could face you. 

“Why’d you want to meet me here?” you asked.

“I, uh, thought that talking in my room back at the apartment would look kind of weird if anyone saw us,” he explained awkwardly, “and the walls are thin too.”

“Alright, you have a point,” you admitted with a shaky exhale. “Whose room is this?”

“It’s mine. I went down to the lobby and booked it for the night.”

Oh to have a K-pop-sized disposable income.

“Oh, right. Should have thought of that.” You swallowed thickly, trying still to appear calm, cool, and collected. “Well, what did you want to talk about?”

You realized that Minho hadn’t mentioned wanting to talk in his text. You were just assuming. But given the events of the night, you felt that it was a pretty safe assumption to make. 

“I wanted to know why you and Jisung lied to everyone,” he took a brief pause before continuing, “and why I now have to lie to everyone too.”

You bit your tongue, stopping yourself before you could point out that he was already lying to everyone, and just nodded. 

“So the thing is, when he told your parents he had a girlfriend, he did have a girlfriend. They broke up, like, less than a week after he told them that and I guess he was too embarrassed to break the news because they were so excited for him and had already invited her on the trip. Jisung figured that maybe he’d have another girlfriend by the time he actually had to go on the trip, but when the end of the semester rolled around and he didn’t, I kind of filled the vacancy because he asked me to.”

“But why?” Minho pressed. “Why was it so important for him to be dating someone?”

“I don’t know, actually. He told me that it was to make your parents happy because they were always bugging him about his dating life, but I thought there might have been another reason that he just wasn’t telling me.”

Minho hummed thoughtfully. “Mom and dad are pretty nosy about our lives, but I don’t know why he would feel pressured to be in a relationship.”

“I think he felt like he had something to prove,” you said, choosing your words carefully. You knew how rocky Jisung’s relationship with his older brother was, at least from what he told you. You didn’t want to give Minho anything he could hold against him. “You’re not going to say anything to your parents or Felix, are you?”

“No,” he answered immediately and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “That’s his prerogative, I suppose. I don’t want to start anything between us- it’s not my place to say anything, really.”

“Thank you.”

He let his arms drop to his sides but didn’t move from where he was standing. “So, there’s really nothing going on between you and Jisung?”

“No, I swear.”

“Even after spending all this time together on the trip?”

“Nope, we spend all of our time together anyway.”

“So are you… friends with benefits?” he asked. 

“No. We’ve made out a few times, but it really just happens when we’re drunk. We never slept together.”

“But what about…” he trailed off, but you understood what he was talking about instantly.

“Oh, no! That was all fake. We just did that to sell it more, and sometimes to mess with you guys.”

“I knew there was no way he could be that good,” Minho whispered.  

You chuckled but came to your friend’s defense. “He seems to do pretty well for himself. Girls usually call him back after staying over so he must be doing something right.”

“I can’t believe it was fake,” Minho mumbled, mostly to himself. “Sorry, I’m still processing this.”

“Take your time.”

You leaned back on the palms of your hands, feeling a little more relaxed now that you knew he didn’t hate you. 

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” he asked finally, letting the mask fall the tiniest bit. “After I kissed you the first time? Or when you kissed me back? This whole time I’ve felt like such an asshole for- for everything that happened.”

“I thought about it,” you admitted, “but Jisung and I agreed that it would stay between us. I’m sorry.”

“I get why you didn’t. I just wish it could have been different.” 

“Me too,” you agreed.

Minho crossed over to the bed and sat down next to you. 

“I’m sorry I went through your stuff.”

You threw your head back laughing. You hadn’t expected him to say that. “It’s fine. Honestly, it’s a relief not to have to keep up the act around you anymore.”

“Oh yeah? And why’s that?” Minho raised an eyebrow and grinned, making you shy away from his gaze. 

You looked down at your lap. 

“Because it was exhausting! I don’t know how to act.” It was a half-truth, and you suspected that he knew it. 

“You had me fooled.”

You managed to look back up at him only to find him staring at your lips. This was not how you imagined this conversation going at all. 

“Maybe I should change career paths then,” you choked out. 

“Yeah, maybe.”

A few more beats of silence lapsed between you before Minho spoke again. 

“All of this time we could have been doing this,” he murmured gently. 

You scrunched your face up in confusion. “What’s ‘doing this’?”

 He leaned forward and bridged the gap between you by pressing his lips to yours to answer your question. His hand came up to your hair instinctively, muscle memory, and brushed it out of your face before cupping your jaw. You melted into him like you had done too many times before, letting him trace the curves of your face with his thumb like he was trying to memorize it. 

His palm was warm and you could feel the calluses on his hand against your cheek. You were the first to moan, any embarrassment long forgotten as you climbed onto his lap. 

Minho accommodated your weight easily, hands immediately coming down to grab your ass. He allowed you to push him down so that he was lying flat on the bed with you straddling his waist. 

Minho slipped his tongue into your mouth as the kiss intensified, teasing you with it. You whimpered when he pulled away, bottom lip jutting out into a pout. Minho just smirked and used the opportunity to flip you over so that he was on top. 

Then his lips were back on you, brushing against your jaw, your neck, your collarbone. As soon as you felt his teeth graze your skin you pushed his head back and gave him a look. It was his turn to pout. 

“You can’t leave marks, idiot.”

“Oh yeah, sorry,” he said apologetically, though the shit-eating grin on his face let you know that he didn’t mean it whatsoever. “Well, you can mark me up as much as you want.”

You rolled your eyes. “Lucky me.”

Minho ignored your comment and raised himself onto his hands, still hovering over you. He looked pretty, even in the dim, yellowy hotel room light. His lips were already a bit puffy, but he hadn’t even been kissing you for that long. You briefly wondered how they’d look after making out with your cunt, all swollen and glossy. You tried to squeeze your thighs together at the thought, legs closing around Minho’s hips instead. He seemed pleased at your eagerness and rewarded you with another kiss. 

“Can I take your shirt off?” he asked when he came up for air. You nodded. “Here, lift up a little.”

You did as he asked so that he could work the t-shirt over your head, laughing when he tossed it on the floor. 

“You weren’t wearing a bra?”

“I was about to go to sleep!”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Likely story.”

“No, you’re right. I came here in my pajamas fully intending to seduce you.”

“Well, it worked.”

“Of course it did. Men are so easy.”

He shook his head, tongue poking his cheek. “You’re going to regret saying that.”

You cocked your head to the side, fully aware that Minho had the physical upper hand. “We’ll see.”

As soon as the words left your mouth Minho’s hands were on your boobs, effectively shutting you up. He circled a thumb around each of your nipples, smirking when you gasped and arched your back. 

“Barely even touching you and look how eager you are for me,” he mused. 

“T-take your shirt off too.” It was meant to be a command, but it sounded more like a plea. 

“What’s the magic word?”

“Fuck you.”

“Fine, since you asked so nicely.”

Minho reached behind his neck and yanked his t-shirt off, throwing it in the same general direction as he had thrown yours. You had seen Minho shirtless plenty of times before and you still couldn’t help but stare. His body looked like one of those statues you had seen in the Louvre, carved out of marble by one of the artists they named the Ninja Turtles after. 

You reached out to touch his chest, running your fingertips along his pale skin. 

“Can I take these off too?” Minho asked, playing with the hem of your sweats. He snapped the elastic band against your hip, making you flinch. 

“Yes, please get them off of me, it’s hot,” you whined.

You were left in just your underwear beneath him. You were usually pretty confident with sexual partners, but with Minho you felt exposed, vulnerable. You felt the urge to cover yourself, even though he was looking at you like you were a star amongst the cosmos. 

He repositioned himself lower in between your legs and before you could ask what he was doing, he pressed his tongue against your clothed cunt, licking a fat stripe between your folds.

You cried out in surprise, hips bucking into his face as a string of curses left your mouth. 

Minho raised his head, smiling sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I’ve been imagining what you taste like for weeks. I just had to know.”

“It felt good,” you assured him, silently begging him to continue. “Was it what you hoped it would be?”

“Better. Can I please keep going?”

“God, yes.”

He placed a hand on either one of your thighs to hold you down as he buried his head in between your legs again. He teased you with his tongue over your panties, finding your clit in an impressively short amount of time. You tangled your fingers in his hair, pushing his head against you. He groaned, his grip on your thighs tightening as you pulled his hair.

“Please, need more,” you whined. 

And Minho was all too willing to give you exactly that. Instead of taking the time to take your panties off, he just pulled them to the side so that he could have complete access to your pussy. He went back to work and you both moaned. His tongue was wet and warm and felt perfect on your clit. You frowned when he started moving lower, confused as to what he was doing until you felt his tongue working you open. No one had ever tongue-fucked you before and you thought you might cum from that alone. 

Minho paused again to catch his breath. “Fuck, I knew you were wet, but I didn’t expect you to be this wet,” he rasped out. 

“Sorry,” you hissed, cheeks warm with embarrassment.

“Who the fuck ever told you to apologize for being turned on?”

“N-no one.”

“Good, because it’s hot.”

You scoffed. 

“Lay back down,” Minho said, nodding at you to punctuate his point. 

You rolled your eyes at him but did as he said anyway. “You’re so bossy.”

“Do you want me to keep going or not?”

“Fine, fine. Sorry.”

“I fucking knew you were a brat,” he sneered. 

“What gave it away?” you asked sweetly. 

“Take a wild guess.”

You propped yourself up on your elbows again despite just being told to lie down. “And what are you going to do about it?”

Instead of answering, Minho hooked his arms under your thighs and pulled you to the edge of the bed, making you lose your balance and yelp in surprise. You watched his shoulder muscles flex as he used his strength to push your hips down, preventing you from squirming. The sight was enough to make you want to squeeze your thighs together, but of course, Minho was stopping you from doing just that. 

He pulled your panties off completely this time, apparently frustrated with the obstacle in his way. They joined the heap of clothes on the ground. You didn’t even need to look at them to know that they were ruined. 

His mouth was back on you before you could get another word in, causing any snarky remark you’d been about to make dissolve into a moan. It was a little sloppy at first. He had yet to fully regain his bearings, but dove in headfirst anyway. Kisses against the crux of your thigh, nips at your hip bones. Teasing and experimental. 

His touch didn’t have the practiced familiarity of a lover. Each movement was eager, exploratory. He was learning your body like he had all the time in the world, but you were growing impatient. 

Your hands flew to his hair again as he finally laved his tongue over your clit. You suppressed your moans this time, remembering what he had said about the neighbors. 

“Fuck, keep going,” you hissed, encouraging him to continue. “Please keep going.”

You could feel Minho smirking against your pussy, but you didn’t care. He could be as cocky as he wanted if he was going to make you feel this good. 

It didn’t take much to get you to the edge. It had been a while since you’d gotten laid, and you had been wanting Minho for God knows how long… you would usually be embarrassed, not want to give a man a bigger ego than he already had, but you had a feeling Minho was trying to get you to cum before fucking you and you wanted him inside of you as quickly as possible. If anything, you were doing him a favor. 

“C-close, Min. ‘M really close!”

You could barely make out the muffled “already?” that came from him between your legs, but you still rolled your eyes anyway, half-tempted to push his head away. 

He guided two of his fingers inside of you, giving you something to clench around as you came. The intention behind the action is what did it. He clearly cared about your pleasure which was rare to find in a partner, especially when said partner was a man. 

You came almost instantly, catching Minho off-guard as if “I’m close” hadn’t been warning enough. He must have taken it as an advanced notice rather than an immediate head’s up. He grunted in surprise as you bucked your hips up into his face, but recovered quickly, helping you ride out the orgasm until you relaxed back on the bed. 

He lifted his head finally, grinning like he’d just won the lottery, and sucked your arousal off of his fingers, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand shortly afterward.

“Good?” he asked. 

“Really good,” you managed to choke out. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah, take your pants off.”

Minho chuckled. “Should’ve known you’d only want me for my body.”

You pursed your lips but didn’t bother responding. You both knew that wasn’t true. Otherwise, why would you be risking everything just to fuck him? 

Minho pushed himself off of the bed and shimmied out of his pants. As good as he looked in the gray sweats, you knew he would look even better with them off. And you were right. Even though he was still wearing his briefs, you could see the outline of his dick much more prominently. It made your mouth water and you sat up and shifted onto your knees to return the favor he had just given you. 

Minho saw you reaching out for him but shook his head. 

“I need to feel you,” he said, voice strained. “If that’s okay. I already almost came in my pants just from eating you out, I won’t last.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Not many men would admit to that.”

“Not many men would admit to getting off on making their partner feel good? You’re right.” 

You watched as he picked his pants up off the floor and pulled a condom out of one of the pockets. 

“Oh now you have a condom?” you teased.

“Look, I usually have them on me, I just didn’t that night,” he exclaimed in defense, the thin foil packet between his teeth. He ripped it open and pulled the rubber out, only pausing when you spoke again. 

“You don’t keep them in your wallet, do you?”

“I do, but I change them out pretty often. Is that okay?” 

“That’s fine.”

With that settled, he slipped out of his underwear and rolled the condom on with ease. He joined you on the bed a moment later. You laid back and waited for Minho to position himself. 

“Wait-” you whispered suddenly, having been so in the moment that you had almost forgotten. “Are you clean?”

Minho let out a sigh of relief, probably having thought something was wrong. “Yeah, I got tested like two months ago.” 

“But the other night with that girl-”

“I didn’t sleep with her.”

“Oh. Why?”

“I mean, I fully intended to, if I’m being honest. But I just… couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t get it up?” 

“Something like that,” he sighed. “I probably should’ve asked this before going down on you, but you’re clean too, right?”

You nodded. “I get tested all the time and I haven’t had sex in a while.”

“That makes two of us.” 

You looked at him expectantly. “You may… continue.”

“I’m surprised that didn’t immediately make my dick soft.”

“Oh, give me a break. My brain is still fuzzy from cumming.”

He snorted. “You’re welcome.”

“I can’t believe that didn’t immediately make me dry up.”

“I’m allowed to be cocky!” he protested. “I made you cum in, what, a minute flat?”

“It took longer than a minute!”

“I don’t know about that. I think we should check the replay.”

“You’re such a dork.”

Minho rolled his eyes. “And that must really turn you on. ‘Cause last time I checked you were dripping onto the sheets.”

“I-” you had nothing. You squeezed your thighs around Minho’s waist, trying to coax him inside of you. “Just stick it in already!”

“Since you asked so nicely,” he repeated.

You held onto his arms as he pushed himself in, sighing in relief at the fullness. He wasn’t the biggest you’d ever had, but he was still sizable. You had to take a second to adjust to the stretch before he could start to move. He fit perfectly, at least that’s what it felt like. You were positive he could tell how much you liked his cock from the way you unconsciously clenched around him, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to care. If his ego inflated to the size of the moon after this, fuck it.

“Fuck, st-stop doing that,” Minho stuttered, pressing one of his hands against your hip to try and keep you still. 

“I’m not doing anything!”

“You’re, God, you’re squeezing me so tight,” he hissed. “If you keep clenching like that I’m gonna cum.”

“Oh sorry, I didn’t even realize.”

You took a deep breath and willed your body to relax. It had been so long since you’d been properly fucked and you didn’t want it to be over before it even started. 

“Are you good to keep going?” Minho asked once he’d regained some semblance of composure. 

“Yeah,” you breathed out. “Yeah, fuck please move.”

He leaned down to kiss you as he began to rock his hips into yours and you met him halfway. You could still taste yourself on his tongue, on his lips. He groaned into your mouth and nipped at your bottom lip when you pulled away. 

“You feel so fucking good, baby,” he confessed, voice raspy. 

Baby was new. And it made you whimper in response. 

“So goddamn tight. It’s like your pussy was made for me.”

Did he say this to every girl he fucked? Because it sounded like a line, but it was working like a charm on you. 

As if he realized he was rambling, he busied his mouth in other ways. He kissed your neck, careful not to leave marks, before moving down to the valley of your breasts where he continued his work. The way he lowered himself onto you pushed his cock in even deeper, something you didn’t think was possible. 

His lips were warm. They were so warm. Each kiss felt like you were touching the sun. You could feel the heat against your skin even as he moved away, pressing kisses elsewhere. 

“What’s got you smiling like that?” Minho asked. 

You hadn’t even realized that you had been smiling, or that he had stopped kissing you. He was going faster now too. You hadn’t noticed that either. You were far too gone, clearly.

“Feels good,” was as much as you could manage, but that seemed to satisfy Minho. 

“Yeah? Have I fucked you dumb already?” he cooed condescendingly. 

You nodded. “Feels sooo good. Feel so full.”

You’d be embarrassed by your barely-comprehensible sentences, but you didn’t have the capacity to feel anything other than pleasure in that moment. You doubted you’d even remember what you said in the morning. 

“You close again, baby?”

“Uh huh.”

“Fuck, me too. I’ll get you there, though. I’ll make you feel even better.”

He brought one of his hands down to your clit and used his thumb to rub somewhat uncoordinated circles on it. He was gentler than he had been before, like he knew you were still sensitive from cumming the first time. The added stimulation brought you back to the edge in record time and all you could do to alert Minho of what was happening was frantically grab his bicep and squeeze it repeatedly.

“Gonna cum? Go ahead, baby.”

Your entire body tensed as your second orgasm of the night washed over you. Minho fucked you through it again, announcing that he was cumming right as you started to come down. Watching his face scrunch up in pleasure as he came was almost enough to send you into a third orgasm. His eyes shut and his mouth fell open into an O shape as his hips faltered. He didn’t stop thrusting until he was certain he’d given you every last drop of his cum, choking out a string of curses followed by your name through gritted teeth. 

He collapsed on top of you seconds later, completely spent and still inside of you. 

“Fuck, that was good,” he panted. You nodded in agreement, wincing when you felt him pull out. “You okay?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think I can walk. My legs feel like jelly.”

“Would another orgasm help?”

“No,” you groaned. “I can’t take another one.”

“I was kidding. C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up and back to your room.”

“Nooo, I’m tired,” you whined. 

“I know, I know,” he said softly, “but you can’t sleep here. Unless you want Jisung to find out?”

“Fine,” you mumbled. Your eyes were closed, but you could hear him moving around the hotel room. “Just give me like five minutes to nap.”

“You know I can’t do that.” When you opened your eyes he was wearing pants again and standing beside the bed waiting for you. “You need to shower. And pee. A UTI in the middle of vacation would really suck.”

“I’ve had worse.”

“You’re impossible.”

“You knew that before sleeping with me.”

“Yeah, and I still did it anyway. Now, get up.”

“You’re so bossy,” you muttered under your breath, repeating the sentiment you had already voiced. Minho just chuckled and helped you to your feet.

“You seemed to like that earlier.”

“Yeah, when you were making me cum.”

“Well, I won’t be able to make you cum anymore if you contract an infection. So I have to be bossy or else you won’t listen.” 

“Or else you won’t listen,” you mocked. 

Minho grinned despite himself and shook his head at you. “We should’ve started doing this way sooner.”

hope y'all liked this one :) lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

iou tags: @gimmeurtmi @phobia0325 @fwess @hipsdofangirl @galaxleeknow @urmomma0324 @bangmechanpls @102598s @farfromsugafanfic @ritzy-roo @dimpledsatan @bvselines @wonderfulshinee @imwithurmother @smollquokka @rosexjimin @skizzel @endzii23 @lady-lena @kwanisms @ch4nniebang @lilramennoodle @babyphotos0325 @dearalice @sojohns @mistlitmoonlight @yoontaethings @babebatter @mal-lunar-28 @shy-kisu @zerefdragn33l @downbadreading @sana-within-you @saquso @bunnispaces @reianagarcia @hyunehans @imtooyoungforthisshit @i8rsie @honeslykindahorny @214racha @hgema @chillllllli @vixensss @smhlino @feiyaa @borahae-reads @bigbearenergy @hoodiesandicedcoffee @darkacademic2512 @y00nzin0 @i8yul @shinypieceofgarbage @woozarts @just-a-little-delulu @djeniryuu @hbzzzbork000 @mimzibee @sofiaslayed @kangyounghyunhands @lexxxxs-things @baejinswrld @gaysontheprince @emogril @ngengngeng

add yourself to my taglist here!

[chutkiandchotte]

So @jalebi-weds-bluetooth is back with her thoughtful & interesting IPKKND analysis and immediately sparking thoughts and conversations and in this case, long ass speculation posts. This is inspired by this post where she analyzes how Arnav's belief in Khushi's innocence shifted not all at once but in phases, with the dramatic First Shyam Expose marking the completion of the process. It inspired me to re-watch some scenes from Buaji's house terrace scene till Shyam's reveal at Shantivan and I wanted to make a post to try and untangle Arnav's thoughts in this confusing (and painful) period!

There's two parts of the Misunderstanding -

1) the what happened and

2) the what was Khushi thinking/feeling about it.

The former is actually easily proved via investigation and deductive reasoning. Its an outrageous story tbh but thats another conversation. I think when Arnav heard her sequence of events - that Shyam cheated her, lied to her family, that she ended it when she found out the truth, that she hates him - he knew there's a good chance its true because it's too big of a lie to risk telling him. The essential fact of Shyam's fraud is easily provable or disprovable so why would she lie about that.

But.......so what?

Khushi isn't exactly blameless even in the true sequence of events. She chose to hide the truth, a mistake Arnav cannot understand or sympathize with at all. When he asks her if Shyam is the villain and she the victim, then why did she lie, she takes a looong moment to answer because she isn't quite being honest even with herself about her motives for that lie.

The long silence (I think she's honestly thinking about the answer, for the first time) followed by her (not entirely truthful) answer that it was all for his Di...further sets off Arnav's suspicions about her motives through it all.

His essential (and pretty accurate) belief that Khushi isn't averse to lying, frequently lies to herself even, and can delude herself into doing wrong things for the "right" reasons stands against her in this moment. And moreover...it had become kind of irrelevant to Arnav what happened in terms of Shyam's sins. None of it would convince him of what had become much MUCH more critical - and what Khushi cannot manage to convince him of - did Khushi really love Shyam or Arnav? Who was in her heart back then and who was in her heart now? Could he forgive her for betraying him in the past? (Sidebar for the last part: I think there's a huge part of him that fantasized that after he told her the reason for marrying her she would confess, repent and express her desire to be with him and not Shyam and then they could be together somehow although in the unlikely event this happened, they would have been super toxic bc he'd never truly trust her fully even if he wanted her around desperately).

-----------------------------

So now we come to part 2) of the Misunderstanding - the "Fault in My Intentions" aka what was Khushi thinking/feeling part - and thats really not...provable with facts in any way.

That has to be taken on faith because the fact of Khushi hiding Shyam's truth for so long is too damning in his eyes. She says she hates Shyam, she STRONGLY hints she loves Arnav. He's desperate to believe her but he cannot precisely because he is that desperate and his Di's life is at risk here. He is doubling down on the following his head not heart path because he's so terrified of being cheated again, that he'll believe her unlikely story simply because of his strong feelings and the consequences of making an emotional decision that would destroy his and his Di's life. And unfortunately, from his point of view, there is no evidence to prove her love or innocence. Even if she WAS engaged to and then dumped a lying scheming Shyam...it doesn't automatically disprove Shyam's claim (backed by the unshakable memory of the terrace moment) that Khushi loves/loved him.

In this version of events, Khushi DID have feelings for her fiance Shyam, POSSIBLY even knew he was married when they were engaged, broke up with him due to either her belief in marriage + not wanting to be a mistress OR her family finding out and making her break up with him; but crucially, continued to harbour feelings for Shyam, led Arnav on while secretly longing for a married man, and planned/hoped to marry him after he was divorced, as late as Payash's wedding, now was regretting her choices and instead of taking accountability...was trying to cover them up.

All of that is consistent and possible with this new reveal of Shyam being her ex-fiance. All of that is consistent and possible with his knowledge of Khushi's character (check end of post for what I mean by this). The only thing that changes is that Shyam is an even bigger scoundrel than he previously thought but he truly does not care about that. Because it doesn't discount the possibility of Khushi being in love with Shyam all along and even now, lying to cover up. Her culpability could be either manipulative scheming home-wrecker as he initially believed or entrapped young girl fighting her feelings for an immoral married man (and refusing to admit to them due to shame). He isn't clear on that. Either way, Arnav's heart is still broken. Do you see? Its not about the 1) what happened. Its about the 2) what was she thinking/feeling? does Khushi love me like I love her? can i trust her not to hurt me or my family?

-----------------------------

So how can she prove what she was feeling? How can she prove she didn't love Shyam all along? Arnav has no real answers for this and neither does Khushi (expecting Shyam to defend her to Arnav was...dumb as fuck). She is desperate to prove, he is desperate to be convinced with proof, and increasingly angered by her bad attempts at it. It's a losing battle because the matter does not admit of proof.

So in this phase, the seeds of which are laid through the contract marriage, Arnav's Heart of course is 100% tortured by his love and longing for Khushi, by his pain witnessing her pain etc. But his Head is Confused AF, haunted by memories of contradicting moments of truth & lies regarding Khushi. He doesn't really believe she is a gold digger - he only says it to hurt her - if he really believed that, he wouldn't, for example, sign any damn thing she gave him to sign. Worst case scenario - she still loves Shyam, she's still playing games and acting for reasons beyond his comprehension. Best case scenario - she repents now her follies of youth etc; she has some attraction to him (he remembers Holi for the first time EVER at Buaji's house), and that combined with her strong sense of duty towards her married life & husband, and her natural tendency to want to be the Good Girl in her own head (he's pointed that out before about her) - results in her desperation to prove herself innocent in his eyes and explain away Shyam. It is not enough. Per his ASR ego and specific childhood trauma, even in the best case scenario, what she did is unforgivable and the dutiful loyalty and weak explanations she is offering are too pathetic to accept, especially considering his own intensity of feelings. It's his mother's death anniversary , further reinforcing the potency of the terrace memory in his head. This is in contention with the part of him which longs to forgive and move on, accepting whatever she has to offer to him now, lies and all, and live as real husband and wife. His heart is locked in conflict and he needs distance from it all to cope.

But then he turns around at the airport.

-----------------------------

His turning at the airport to come back to Khushi was the shift to his next attitude. He's much more firmly in this phase - "I'm still unclear about what happened in the past, but I don't care. What matters is that Khushi said she finds Shyam disgusting now. What matters is she said farq padta hai cuz its you."

Then being kidnapped and alone with his thoughts and feelings with no scope of running away, forces further honest self reflection, and he accepts that whatever he feels for Khushi is beyond logic and he will never be happy away from her. He admits he actually does not care what happened in the past. The only thing that matters is what they feel for each other now. Basically the pay off for Holi, for his Heer Ranjha speech which he remembers just before turning around. He's ready to love her and (if he miraculously survives being kidnapped) be with her despite still kiiiiiind of believing she WAS his didi ki saut at one point. His love is so powerful the rest doesn't matter to him. Which is twistedly romantic I guess.

Even after this I Love You, Arnav's heartbreak from the terrace moment has still not quite healed. He still believes that at that moment, he was madly deeply in love with Khushi, ready to fight all his demons to be with her, while she on the other hand was having merely tepid feelings for him, and conflicted feelings between two men, one of them being his sister's husband. That he loves her more than she loves him. This heartbreak is soothed a whole lot when Khushi clearly proves that whatever happened in the past, in present time, she DOES love him madly and truly - by risking her own life to save him multiple times. I don't know that anything less would have ever convinced him that the madness is truly mutual.

Arnav is now fully on board Team Never Talk About the Past, Focus on the Future. It doesn't matter she lied and played games, it doesn't matter he hurt and tortured her. What matters is their love. By the way, their stay in Buaji's house was the prelude to this conclusion - he was already contemplating fully accepting Khushi as his wife and treating her with the respect and care that position deserved, though nowhere being close to accept her as his love back then.

However all through Buaji's house, kidnap, even post rescue, he is still thinking of Shyam more as Khushi's ex, not her harasser. He still thinks she DID have feelings for Shyam at one point and maybe acted inappropriately due to that, albeit now she's over it and firmly in love with Arnav.

But then Shyam's utterly believable storytelling (it WAS, Shyam is an excellent liar) about Khushi being this immoral hussy etc - ironically opens his eyes. He realizes that his entire belief about Khushi's past feelings is based on Shyam's powerful storytelling. Till that very moment, he never unbelieved the story Shyam fed him about Khushi passionately loving Shyam at one point in her past. He only changed what he felt about it - from anger to avoidance to acceptance. It had become a core trauma re-inforced belief for the last 6 months, implacable thru all the questioning and doubts. He realizes finally that Shyam is NOT Khushi ka scandalous ex-love, her embarrassing mistake she's trying to hide and forget, her moment of weakness she needs forgiveness for, but rather her harasser and stalker.

They had a missed opportunity here to use flashbacks and show Arnav evaluating past events in light of fresh knowledge. He has an excellent memory especially regarding all things Khushi - as he admitted himself. Arnav should have recalled how Khushi was unhappy every minute of her engagement. How she showed her feelings for Arnav, to Arnav, long long before it was socially or morally acceptable to do so. And every other instance of proof that while he was right in judging her character he was wrong is judging her heart.

Because Khushi Kumari Gupta IS the kind of girl who would stupidly, delusionally, throw away every moral, social and self preservation consideration for the sake of a grand romantic love.

But the only man she has ever done all that for and will ever do that for - is Arnav Singh Raizada.

[shinxeysartgallery]

J is kind of an asshole and I think we all realize that especially after what she did in Episode 8. Still think she's being hated on a bit too hard though.

She knowingly sided with Cyn, despite knowing what she was responsible for, and that's obviously not a good thing. However, do keep in mind that all of the affected Elliot Manor drones are just traumatized children at the end of the day. Cyn put all of them through immeasurable horrors. Even without Cyn's influence, the drones were treated horribly by the humans (other than Tessa). And based off the scratched-off armbands that we saw N, V, and J have that also match Cyn's armband, there's strong implications that all three of them are also "zombie drones" much like Cyn is herself. We don't know what they were subjected to before being tossed into the dump and later being found by Tessa.

As J and V are fighting, J makes an interesting comment that sheds some light on her motivations. "...It tricked me, too." Obviously, that was never elaborated on, but it strongly implies that she had made some sort of a deal with Cyn for an unknown reason. We got confirmation that V also had made a deal with Cyn, which was basically that she'd do whatever Cyn wanted as long as she wouldn't hurt N (and then would leave them both alone). Don't know if N also made a deal, but he's likely there as a part of V's deal.

So it makes me wonder, what exactly did Cyn promise J? Did she tell her that she could bring back Tessa? Promise to not let her die again? Something else entirely? Based on her comment to V, SOMETHING was definitely promised that ended up being a lie. Everyone reacts to trauma differently. Saw a post a while back (will hyperlink it later if I can find it again) by another user doing a very good breakdown of how they perceived the drones' personalities changed as a result of their trauma. N became a doormat because he kept getting hurt or hurting others every time he stood up for himself or someone else. (They also add that V's coldness towards him contributed to it and made him lose a lot of self-confidence.) V became rather cold because she was basically forced to turn off her emotions to cope with what she was doing. And she was purposefully mean to N to chase him away as an attempt to protect him from Cyn. J became a corporate bootlicker because she was terrified of being discarded again, so now she feels like she has to prove that she's useful.

And I think those theories all definitely hold some water here and help to explain why J still chose to side with Cyn, even after realizing that whatever their deal was was a lie. It's likely that she realized that if she decided to side against Cyn, Cyn would've just killed her straight-up. And that's really not out of the question, considering what she did to N and V once she realized that those two had asked too many questions and realized that she was the bad guy they wanted nothing to do with. If J had also gone against her, she'd just be replaced with either a clone that had its memories wiped (as evident by Cyn's comment to N in Episode 7: "your clones will forgive me") or a personality shift, or just flat-out a completely different drone altogether. There's also her comment towards V during their fight. "I promise it's better on the winning team.", which implies that J had full belief that Uzi wouldn't have been able to stop Cyn and Cyn was going to get her way no matter what. That paired up with the personality shift might imply that she felt trapped. Cyn preyed on her vulnerability and fears of being discarded and weaponized them against her. She believed that Cyn was going to win no matter what, and if she went against Cyn, she was going to be discarded again. Despite knowing she was tricked, she probably stays loyal to Cyn because she's terrified of that outcome. She doesn't want to die, she doesn't want to be thrown away again. But the only person she feels she can get that security from is the same one that basically caused all of her problems. That same person is practically the equivalent of a god in the universe and seemingly NOTHING can stop it. What choice does she have in that perspective?

I still feel like she's an incredibly tragic character. Horribly mistreated by humans, forced to watch (or participate in) her best friend's death at the hands of the one she despises the most, sees the same bestie be horribly mutilated and disfigured, be forced to commit horrible atrocities herself, and be manipulated and lied to. She deserves a redemption arc.

You're obviously allowed to still hate/dislike her, but that's just my thoughts on it!

[lovezella]

The Witch Westeros

CHAPTER ONE - sneaking in a castle

disclaimer:

I do not own House of the Dragon nor the Scarlet Witch and her powers. Credits to Marvel and Stan Lee.

gif not mine, I got it from pinterest.

this fanfic does not follow the plot of the series nor its books. storyline belongs to me.

note:

as promised, here's the chapter two! i am so sorry for leaving this ff discontinued but i lost my motivation in writing and continuing it, so i hope y'all forgive me😭 and ofc, the suggestions for the love interest is still open! that's all, thank you xx

warning:

mentions of wound and blood but that's all (i think) NOT EDITED!!

Rhaenyra Targaryen paced around her chambers with a frown on her face. She was angry, sad, and betrayed. Her son, Lucerys, has been missing for three days and no one knows where he is or if he is alive. His dragon, Arrax, arrived wounded at the castle without his rider this morning and Rhaenyra’s paranoia grew. Her eldest son Jacaerys wouldn’t rest and flew with his dragon all day to look for his brother. Rhaenyra had soldiers roaming around King’s Landing and where he was last discovered, in hopes that they would find him.

Her son Joffrey’s name day is to be celebrated tomorrow but she couldn’t find it in her to celebrate while her second born son was out there missing. Alicent had suggested to have a gathering in honour of Joffrey’s name day, despite the young prince’s protest of not wanting to celebrate without his elder brother. Her father, Viserys, couldn’t have a say about it since he’s currently bedridden because of some sickness— that her uncle Daemon seems so sure that it was the greens’ doing.

Rhaenyra sat on her bed and sighed. She hoped that her son was alive, if not, she prayed for the one who caused his death that would receive her wrath.

-x-

You were used to not getting enough sleep in the past. Often staying up, staring at the ceiling and thinking of your family and ‘what ifs’ invading your mind. However, tonight was different. You shifted on your side, pulling your blanket up to cover you more as you pondered the events that can occur tomorrow.

When you saw a floating body on the waters yesterday, you never imagined it would be a prince. Maybe a commoner, a soldier harmed from a war, or even a pirate—do they even exist in this world? Hell, you don’t know,— but a prince? If you were to waltz into the castle with the young prince who was declared missing, you might—no, you will get into more trouble.

You let out a groan, rubbing your face tiredly. There goes your plan to lay low until you find a way to go back to your universe. Sighing, you gave up trying to sleep and went down to the kitchen, hoping baking will help you ease your nerves.

Tomorrow is going to be fun.

-x-

Lucerys Valeryon woke up with the sun beaming on his face, the distinct sound of the waves from outside and the fresh smell of bread making him realize where he was. He winced as he sat up from the soft bed he laid, rubbing his torso and arm where a cloth wrapped around his wound. He looked down and softly sighed, seeing the blood seeping on the cloth. Lucerys mustered up the strength to stand up and walked to the kitchen, ignoring the shooting pain on his muscles each step he took.

The sound of footsteps snapped you out of your thoughts and you looked up, seeing the young prince you took in last night staggered in.

“Dear, you should be in bed!” You fussed, meeting him half way and guiding him on a stool. You tsked, grabbing another cloth to rewrap his wounds. “How are you going to heal if you are not resting?”

Lucerys shook his head, “I’m alright, my lady. I don’t think I can handle being in bed for too long.”

“Such a stubborn boy,” You sighed, focusing on your task in hand. Lucerys didn’t reply but stared at the dozen plates of bread and dishes on the table. You finished wrapping his arm and torso with a cloth and saw his gaze at your table.

Your face flushed from embarrassment, “I…I cook and bake when I’m nervous.” you explained, throwing the bloody cloth away, “It helps me get my mind off of things.”

Lucerys smiled lightly, thinking of his brother who does the same thing with training when he wants a distraction. “There’s no need to be ashamed, my lady. My brother does it too. He drowns himself in training to distract him from his duties or well…everything.” You stare at him with a light smile, seeing the warm look on his face as he talks about his brother.

You stood up to fetch him breakfast, grabbing two plates from the table which consisted of scrambled eggs and bacon and a piece of butter toast— all you made from scratch. Since this period is lacking supplies you needed to cook, you decided to just conjure some from your magic. No one would know, and if they do, you can just erase their memories. Easy as a pie. You placed the plates on your living room table since you can’t eat at the kitchen table, and pushed Lucerys’ food to his side. Lucerys stared at the plate in front of him with a confused look on his face.

“My lady, I do not mean to offend you, but…what exactly is this?” He asked, hesitantly picking the fork up.

You chuckled and waved a hand, “Don’t worry, Luke, you didn’t offend me. That is scrambled eggs, bacon and butter toast.” You hoped it was enough for him as you were sure he eats more grand foods growing up.

“That is quite…peculiar.” Lucerys raised an eyebrow, “I have never heard of such a meal.”

You paused as you were about to take a bite. Shit, you forgot people from this era are used to eating just bread, fruits, and wine in the morning. “It’s a traditional meal from my home.” you quickly came up with an excuse, “Meals like this are common when we break our fast.”

Lucerys accepted your answer and took a bite of his food, eyes widening as he chewed. “This is delicious!” he exclaimed once he swallowed. “I should visit your home country if the food is as delicious as this.”

Not knowing how to reply, you just chuckled and nodded. You both ate breakfast in silence, caught up with your own thoughts to make a conversation leading to an awkward silence. You cleared your throat, “I was thinking that we should visit the castle once they finished the celebration. In that case, we would not be causing a ruckus and you can get to your family safely.”

“My lady, if I may,” Lucerys started, “I…I want to attend my brother’s name day.” You purse your lips at his words. You had figured he would say that and already formed a plan to sneak you both in.

“I can make it happen—” You said, and the young boy’s eyes widened in delight, “—But we have to do it discreetly.”

“And how, my lady, are we going to do that? I thought only invited high borns are allowed to attend? Are you a high born, my lady?” Lucerys couldn’t help but ask. Your house doesn’t exactly scream noble or rich to him, but he wouldn’t say it out loud. Although, from your looks, posture and manners, some can mistake you as one.

You chuckled, seeing the curious look on his face. You know he doesn’t mean any offense, he’s young and it’s normal for him to be curious. “No, but I can be very convincing.” You winked, subtly making your eye flash red. Lucerys didn’t seem to notice but trusted your words enough. After all, you did save him.

“We leave tonight, is that alright?” You asked, gesturing to his wounds. Lucerys nodded furiously, excited to see his family.

-x-

The moon shined bright and the streets were alive as ever for the celebration of the prince’s name day. Lucerys and you strode to the castle with hoods up to cover your faces. As you approached, a wheelhouse passed through the open gates before it snapped shut. Knights stood by the side; one was staring at you and Lucerys with a suspicious look.

Lucerys tugged your hand, “Perhaps we should just leave. We won’t be able to cross them.” his eyes nervously looking anywhere but the knights.

“It’s alright.” You squeezed his hand and walked confidently to the knights. “We’re here for the gathering.” you said with a smile.

The knight scoffed and said, “High borns only, lass. Your kind is not allowed here. I’m not letting you in.”

Lucerys glared at his offense but you tugged his hand, silently telling him to stay down.

“Oh, but you will.” You tilted your head, your iris turning red and with simple magic, the knight was under your control. “We are from House Maximoff, will you let us in?”

“Of course, my lady.” The knight said in a monotone voice. He shouted orders and before you knew it, the castle gates were open.

[penultimatefan02]

Pen's Missed Proposal - A Theory

SPOILERS AHEAD!

@chimerapartyhouse wrote an insightful post regarding Pen’s motivations for having the diamond ring he dropped after his defeat at the Starship ruins. Was it Pen’s intention to propose to the builder before leaving with the Duvos army? On its own, it does hint that Pen wanted the builder to join him. Moreso, the hint was strengthened by the event that took place in the mission, “Pen’s Last Words.”

After Pen was taken away, he mailed a goodbye letter to the builder where he directed them to a cave so they could obtain a treasure. For those who did not romance Pen, the cave was essentially a trap with many beasts inside.

The treasure included Gold (5), Diamond (1), and Gols (400). Here is the symbolism:

5 (五 wǔ) sounds like 呜 (wū), which is onomatopoeia for whimpering and crying. Therefore, it is generally considered an unlucky number.

1. Searching took me in several directions, but the closest match found was that its pronunciations in Chinese sounds similar to the phrase 一生一世 (lifetime or forever).

4 (四 sì) sounds like 死 (sǐ; to die). Because of its negative association with death, most people consider this number to be so unlucky that many buildings in China do not even have a “fourth” floor.

Basically, Pen wanted the builder to experience a very unpleasant death.

However, if the builder romanced Pen, it was a different story.

The romance goodbye letter read:

Having some time to think on things here in the maximum-security prison, I do sometimes regret not finding a way to bring you with me. Ah, well. My bad. Anyway, since you were easily one of the top three lovers I've ever known, and the only one I still have the address for, I've decided to offer a symbol of my forgiveness. That’s right, I forgive you. I don't think we can ever be together again, but at the end of the day, you were just doing your lame goodie-two-shoes thing that you do. I should have recruited you as soon as I started to have suspicions. So, I won't hold it against you. In fact, I have one last thing give you. A challenge! Deep in the core of the ruins, I've tucked away one of the most powerful possessions in existence! And it's yours for the taking! All you have to do is get past the waves and waves of ravenous beasts that guard it, but... that should be no problem for you, Skinny. Remember your training. We will not meet again, Pen.

Here, Pen was all over the place. He offered backhanded compliments. Regretted not “recruiting” them. He forgave them for fighting against him. Then, he warned the builder of the beasts waiting at the cave but assured them they would win.

He was really fucked up.

For this post, I’m not going to dissect his psyche (much). My focus is on his offered mission and what it represents to those who romance him.

When entering the cave, my first thought was, when did Pen set this up? It must have been before the first arrest because there would be no time after the invasion. It only made sense that it was after the builder fell from the cliff but before Pen caught Haru. That’s because once Haru was captured the chain of events was set into motion.

That fall from the cliff must have thrown Pen for a loop. After the builder returned Pen said he searched for them relentlessly but couldn’t find them. His personality shifted in that conversation because from then on, he suspected Logan got to the builder due to the cliff’s location.

[The dialogue is from memory as I couldn’t find a screenshot. On the wiki, Pen says the builder crawled back to him, but I think the dialogue was changed. If someone has a screenshot, please share. It’s been a while since I played that part of the game, but I remember the builder had options to respond. such as they hit a tree on the way down.]

At that point, Pen’s mission was in hyperdrive, and Logan was breathing down his neck. He only had a brief window to plan on how to “recruit” the builder. It was within that window that Pen bought the ring and set up the cave for the proposal. For Pen, I’d imagine the ravenous beasts were there as a challenge to deem the builder worthy of his hand in marriage. If the builder won, Pen would kneel in the blood, guts, and glory of battle to put a ring on it. The treasure was as follows: Gold (5), Diamond (2), The Protector (1), Gols (600).

Here is the symbolism:

2. According to Chinese numerology, pairs are auspicious. This helps explain why it's common to see 双喜 (shuāngxǐ “double happiness”) on wedding couplets.

(Using separate definitions, 5, 2, and 1 combined may mean something like crying in happiness at being together forever?)

6. Chinese culture views number six as auspicious since it resembles the words for "smooth" and "well-off." It is linked to prosperity, happiness, and good fortune. It is also thought that number six has fascinating meaning when it comes to relationships and love. It's a popular option for romantic occasions like wedding dates because it connotes the idea of a smooth and harmonious relationship.

521. Following the recognition of 520 as a symbol of romance, the number 521 also gradually became associated with love. Lovers in China have now bestowed the number 521 with the meaning "I am willing", and both May 20 and May 21 are celebrated as Online Valentine's Days in China every year.

600 (general meaning, not language specific). In Love and Relationships, 600 is a sign of balance, harmony, and stability. When this number appears to you it can indicate that your relationship is about to enter a new stage of growth. 

Pen surely had a plan to propose.

My headcanon is that when Pen saw the Builder, Logan, and Justice come to interrupt the excavation, he knew that not only was his mission in jeopardy but so was his proposal.

That is why I believe the builder’s involvement was one of the reasons Pen went super feral on Logan. We know that Howlett almost wrecked his mission, but now Logan was trying to wreck everything for him. It’s also why I think he was overly spiteful toward the builder at the jail. In Pen’s eyes, the builder betrayed him by taking Logan’s side.

After Pen had time to stew on it though he forgave the builder but then put all the blame on Logan.