#found this in my drafts... from the other day?

[formulafanfics13]

‼️Please read. (my week break, negativity, AI, what's coming, and what's next)

usual pinned posts can be found here

masterlists can be found here

Okay, hi, I'm here.

First things first, the past few days I have had time to think about what I want moving forward with this blog. I want to carry on, but I'm not prepared to receive the messages or have to defend myself so much for simply doing something I enjoy.

⚠️ A Note on Negativity, Hate & Death Wishes

Let’s get one thing very clear: negativity, hate, and death wishes are not okay. They never have been, and they never will be.

If you’re here to send that kind of message, simply don’t. Please just block me and move on with your life. I’m not holding anyone hostage. If you don’t like the way I write, who I write for, or the stories I choose to tell, that’s totally fine. But you are not entitled to my inbox.

In the past week alone, I’ve received so many kind messages from people supporting me, but also from other writers saying they’ve faced similar hate. Honestly? It’s heartbreaking. You don’t know who’s behind these blogs. You don’t know what they’re going through in real life. And you don’t get to decide what’s “okay” to say just because you’re behind an anonymous mask.

If you don’t vibe with my content, do not interact. Block me. Mute me. Curate your own space. But don’t come here with cruelty and act like it’s justified. We’re writing fanfiction, not committing crimes.

Going forward:

Any hate, negativity, or death wishes will not be responded to on my page.

Accusations will not be addressed, your messages will simply be deleted.

None of it will be made public.

This blog is not a space for drama, cruelty, or anonymous bitchiness. If you genuinely have a concern, want clarification about something, or have constructive criticism that would be useful for me to consider, my messages are open, and we will have that conversation privately and respectfully.

We’re not doing the anonymous sniping thing anymore. If you’ve got a problem, say it with your chest. If not, scroll on. This space is meant for softness, chaos, fun, creativity, connection. Not hate.

📝 A grammar lesson - AI and Editing

Let's clarify things here (because from the comments I had at the start of the week, a very small amount of people don’t know some of this).

'-' is used between words ('co-found', 'step-sibling').

'–' is used between numbers and dates (2000–2010, 12:50–12:00). - i dont often use these as i personally think they're ugly)

'—' is used for pretty much everything else (example: a break in text. "I can't do—" "yes you can").

Let's be clear here, I have been a university student for the past few years, and I know how to write grammatically correct (and no, I know I don't always do it). No, Em-dashes were not created by AI; it does not always indicate that AI was used. This conception was created because AI writes grammatically correct. But let's not forget, many people can also write grammatically correct.

On Windows, you can type '--' and it will automatically change to '—', on Mac, you can press 'option', 'shift' and '-' and it will change to '—'. You can change this (I personally don't know how because my partner did it for me, because I use '—' most commonly, so it was an easier option for me).

Let's clarify, using em dashes, en dashes, and Oxford commas does not prove something is written by AI; it simply indicates the writer knows how to use punctuation correctly.

Do I write every first draft of my fics with '—'? Yes.

Do I go back through them when editing and replace them with the wrong dash? Yes.

Why? Because people do not understand correct grammar, and with the work I put into each fic I write, I do not want people to think it's not me writing.

Do I also forget to change a few throughout, or miss some when editing? Yes. I'm dyslexic, I miss things, and there are spelling and other grammar mistakes throughout some of my fics, and I see no complaints about that.

Will I continue to change the dashes and hyphens I use? Yes. But again, some may be missed.

No, originally, I didn't change the '—' to '-' in the first chunk of my fics, because I never saw writing grammatically correct as an issue.

If you want to believe my fics are stolen, not written by me, or AI-generated, then please leave my page, block my account, and do not interact. We don't need negativity here. I do not want your opinions. I have explained before, I do not use AI, I don't know much about it, and quite frankly, it scares me.

I have also explained that my university work was flagged for AI, which led to countless meetings and having to show my supervisor and course leader how to access the different dashes on a keyboard. I got a first, one of the highest in my course overall, because of my writing and grammar. So yes, I write academically, and that's okay.

If you do not like my writing, please scroll. Please block me. Please do not interact. This is the last time I will be addressing AI, stolen fics, or someone else supposedly writing my fics.

⏳ A Note on Time, Writing & Realistic Expectations

Let’s talk about time, because I think some people need a little behind-the-scenes insight into how this all works (despite the fact that I have spoken about this so much).

Before I even started this blog, I had already written over 300 fics for myself. I didn’t just wake up one day and start pumping out stories on demand; I’ve been writing privately for years. That’s why, when I post a long fic like All Eyes On Me or The Secret Girlfriend, it’s already pre-written. Usually 30+ chapters ahead. Why? Because I have ADHD. And sometimes, I get bored. I need to know I’ll still enjoy the story before I commit to sharing it; otherwise, I risk dropping it halfway through. That wouldn’t be fair on me, or on you.

Since launching this blog, I’ve been writing for 17 to 19 hours a day, sometimes more on nights when my insomnia kicks in. I type fast, thank you, university essay hell, and I plan fast. When requests come in, I already know what I’m going to write most of the time because I take notes and keep my inbox open. That prep helps more than people realise.

I also re-use parts of old, unpublished fics. I cut, reshape, and adapt things that I’ve previously written but never shared. It speeds up the process and helps me stay creative without starting from scratch every single time.

Sometimes my fics are only 200 words long. That’s something I can write in 10 minutes if I’ve already mapped it out. But that doesn’t mean it takes 10 minutes to plan, edit, or finalise. I also sometimes use dictation (hello, microphone) to get words out quicker, but trust me, editing audio-to-text is its own nightmare because grammar gets lost along the way.

I am not magic. I write every single word. Fics don’t appear out of thin air. And while I love writing more than anything, the truth is: this pace is not sustainable going forward.

I’ve been able to maintain it because I was in between finishing university and graduating. But now? Things are changing.

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned a job interview, and I’m so thrilled to share that I got the job I wanted. Which means I’ll soon be stepping into full-time work. And that means I will no longer be spending 17 hours a day writing fic. Or working in a place that allows be to sit on my laptop all day.

What does this mean going forward?

Fic output will slow down.

Requests will take longer, and I may not get to all of them.

I’ll be writing when I can, around my real-life job.

But I’m not leaving. I’m not giving up. This page isn’t going anywhere.

The pressure of starting a completely new job is something I will be dealing with, therefore, I will not be putting pressure on myself to write more than I can.

We’ll be shifting to a new, realistic, and sustainable schedule. One that allows me to enjoy writing again, and hopefully still gives you all the chaos, softness, and smut you’ve come to love.

This will also help me to stay on top of my masterlists.

🛠️ What I’ve Been Up To This Week

So... what have I been doing during my few days break?

Honestly? A lot more than I expected. I didn’t just disappear into the void (as tempting as that was), I’ve been using this time to reset, recharge, and get things a little more organised around here.

First of all: Masterlists have been updated! (multi-part fics will be linked together tomorrow!)

Second of all: new headers are coming. I’m gonna be real with you: I’ve been so bored with the “requests” header. So I’ve been playing around and designing some new ones that better reflect the tone and vibe of different fics. Expect to see those roll out soon, because it’s time for a little refresh. There may be a few variations of these, so keep an eye out for the pretty colours.

I’ve also been writing. Not as intensely as before, but enough to start building a stockpile. I’ve got a few pieces prepped and sitting in my drafts now, which means I’ve got backup content ready for those especially hectic weeks when I don’t have time to write in real time. It’s all about pacing myself better moving forward.

✨ Things you can look forward to:

A bunch of mini-series (some new, some continuing)

Several long fic chapters.

Some long-awaited part 2s

And a handful of new one-shots that I’m really excited to share

Basically, we’ve got lots of good stuff coming. it just might be rolling out a little slower.

💌 Some Last Things I Want to Say...

I just want to take a moment to say thank you. Like, really thank you. The messages I’ve received over the past few days have honestly overwhelmed me in the best way. Some of them made me cry, not from hurt, but from how kind and supportive you all have been. I’ve read every single one. I wont be replying publicly to these but please know it’s been seen and felt. Deeply. And they will be staying in my inbox.

I’m so grateful for every one of you who took the time to send love, encouragement, support, jokes, memes, all of it. You’ve reminded me why I started sharing my work in the first place. And it means the world.

🧡Just to summarise and reiterate:

Hate will not be tolerated.

Death wishes, accusations, and negativity will be deleted, not dignified.

If you don’t like my work, my style, or who I write for, please just block me. It’s okay. Truly.

If you have something constructive or respectful you want to say, message me privately.

This blog is a safe space, and it always will be. For me, for you, and for everyone here.

✨ A new, realistic schedule will be shared soon and linked below this post. I’m going to keep doing what I love, just at a pace that’s manageable with my new job and life in general.

Starting Monday, we’ll hopefully be back in action with a bit more than one post per day. For now, however, I will not be taking requests. I will let you all know when I will be. I just feel I may need a week to settle into my new job, get on top of life (because I have also moved house), and also continue to get on top of fics for the future.

The Silverstone Situation mini-series wraps up tonight, and a brand new Lewis Hamilton Ancient Alpha mini-series kicks off tomorrow, friday 1st (3 parts). - This is my 3rd time writing alpha/omega. I am still learning; however, I tried, okay, because this was highly requested!

This weekend, you might see a few little extras or one-shots drop, but mostly, I’ll be writing ahead and prepping content for the future while I prepare mentally to start my new job on Monday. I won’t be very active, but everything will be scheduled.

📝 what to expect whilst i get back into a rhythm:

— long fics (‘all eyes on me’ & ‘the secret girlfriend’) returning to their usual update schedule slowly (possibly around the end of next week). (+ all eyes on me will be longer than 50 chapters, despite my original plan to end it at 50) — a mini series once a day at least — a few one-shots or spontaneous extras here and there. — a few trial schedules, until I find one that works for me and for you.

⏱️what will be temporarily put on hold?

— paddock bunny (I love writing this, however I want to rewrite the parts I have in my drafts) — drivers in bed and series similar to this — drivers as and drivers reactions (these will come out more slowly as they take a lot of my effort to write, and I would rather do these as a little extra thing rather than a set fic.

🚮What will not be continued for now (but may make a return in the future):

— foodporn (im out of ideas for what food to be used, and im a little bored of writing this - it started as a single request, then spiralled into a mini series) — Just The Tip (theres only so many ways to write the same scenario)

✨

Once again, thank you. For being here, for being patient, for being kind, for being feral little icons.

I love you. Evie 🫶🏼

(pinned post, info posts, schedule and guidelines/rules will be posted and updated by monday - hopefully)🧡

(also i will be replying to questions in my inbox in about an hour or two!)

[saltcxrcle]

a lazy morning ── . ✶ l. lane

summary: kissing lois was always your favorite past time in the mornings

pairing: lois lane x gn!reader, lois lane x afab!readerノ wc: 1.1k warnings: no use of 'y/n', none really, reader refers to themself as lois's girlfriend but there's no use of any pronouns, fluff!, lois not being a morning person, making out, slightly suggestive but not really, kinda edited; all mistakes are my own a/n: wrote this short and sweet one shot in an haze from 1:40 to 2:50 AM this morning bc i got inspired by this post and needed to write it for lois bc im so gay for her!! and lois is 100% a girl kisser in this movie you cannot tell me otherwise! lois lane masterlist

YOU LOVED HAVING LAZY DAYS. 

It was rare when Lois decided to have a day where she just took the time to slow down and relax. Being a workaholic was something that was burned into her veins. There was always a new story to report on and evidence to gather on a new exposé she was writing for her job. 

But this morning was different. Lois finished the final edits on her new story last night and would take it to Perry tomorrow morning for approval, leaving Sunday free for the two of you to do whatever you wanted. You thanked whatever higher power was out there that your girlfriend managed to finish her article so she could actually spend time with you. 

Lois had a problem shutting out the rest of the world when working on something big. You knew it from first-hand experience when she locked herself in her apartment over the weekend when you first started dating. You almost broke into her place when she wouldn’t respond to your texts asking if the two of you could go on a date, or respond to your ‘are you okay?’ texts. 

Nonetheless, you were delighted by the fact that she could finally sleep in for once and not worry about a deadline or the final edits to the draft she was working on. 

You woke up before her, which was unusual for the pair of you. She would usually rise first and get out of bed carefully to work, but since she didn’t have anything to do, Lois was able to sleep in. Her face was nestled in the crook of your neck, her slow breaths fanning over your skin as she slept soundly. 

The two of you found each other in your sleep last night, having been on opposite sides of the bed, but slowly migrated to the middle. And now you were wrapped up in each other, not necessarily knowing whose limb was whose, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

You were content in staying there forever, letting Lois catch up on much-needed sleep, but the sharp intake of breath let you know that she was starting to stir. It was almost like she could sense that you were awake, and her body began to wake up. 

Lois pressed a lazy kiss to the hollow of your throat before pulling away to meet your eyes. 

“Morning.” She murmured, eyes still hazy from her deep slumber, as Lois blinked away the remnants of fatigue lining her gaze and limbs. 

“Morning babe.” You whispered back, a small smile on your face as you took in the relaxed face of your girlfriend. 

Lois raised her head up, glancing at the alarm clock behind you before her head fell—Lois’s forehead hitting your collarbone. 

“Ugh.” She groaned.

You couldn’t help but smile and pet the back of her head, smoothing down some of the flyaways of her bedhead. “What time is it?” 

“Too early.” Lois grunted out, her face finding itself back in the crook of your neck. 

She let out an indignant noise when you craned your neck to see the time. It was nearing noon. 

You let out a gentle laugh. “S’ not early honey, we slept in. It’s almost noon.”  

“Then why am I still tired?” She grumbled as she pulled you tighter against her. 

“Maybe because you’re a chronic overworker and stayed up later than you were supposed to instead of sleeping in bed with your darling girlfriend?” 

Lois huffed but said nothing in retaliation, burying her face further into your neck. If her brain was working any faster, she would have come up with a snappy retort, but it was lagging behind due to just waking up (and she would rather have a building fall on her with Superman not there to save her than admit that you were right). 

You let out a soft chuckle before shuffling down your pillow, meeting Lois’s tired but bright blue eyes. Your hand moved to push a wayward strand behind her ear before cradling her cheek, your thumb caressing her sun-warmed skin. 

The two of you stared at each other, faces unknowingly leaning toward each other like two magnets coming together. Before either of you knew it, lips were pressed against each other in a warm caress. 

Neither you nor Lois cared about the morning breath that both of you had. You were too focused on how soft Lois’s lips were against yours, how they slotted against your own perfectly like two puzzle pieces, and how you could taste the lingering remnants of the vanilla lip balm you and she applied just before the pair of you went to bed. 

Your mouths moved together in sync—a familiar and choreographed dance that you and Lois did frequently whenever you kissed each other. Kissing Lois came to you naturally—it was as easy as breathing. You never had to think too hard about it; you just did it.

A familiar warmth started to spread throughout your body, slowly burning in your core—but you did nothing to turn the kiss passionate. Each kiss was slow and deliberate. Filled with nothing but love and devotion with each other, the two of you savored the sensual press of lips against one another. 

Hands slowly started to roam over shirts and thin pajama pants, the pair of you were wearing, not daring to slip underneath to feel skin, but the touches weren’t hesitant—they were grounding and reverent as you and Lois lost yourselves in each other. 

Tongue was slowly introduced, swirling around each other, and suckled on slowly. Not daring to change the pace of the rhythm, the two of you were content to kiss. It was perfect for this Sunday morning. If you had it your way, you’d spend every waking moment doing only this with Lois. 

Your hands eventually made their way into her raven-colored hair, pulling lightly at the strands of hair at the nape of her neck, making a soft moan spill against your lips. You couldn’t help the smile that grew against her own lips before nipping at the plush skin of her bottom lip. She retaliated with her own little nip before kissing you again, a little more forceful than intended, but still held a tenderness behind it. 

Swiping your tongue against hers one last time, you pulled away. Your lips were slick with spit and slightly swollen from the kisses you traded with your girlfriend. You brushed your nose against hers in an Eskimo kiss before your forehead rested against hers. You breathed each other in, smelling like clean linen and sunlight as the two of you stayed wrapped in each other’s arms. 

Neither of you was keen on moving, so you didn’t—the bubble the two of you were in was built with love, warmth, and blankets as you guys stayed in bed, content on having a lazy day doing nothing but relaxing, cooking, and kissing. 

[bishlova-ship]

Bishova content creators are doing the work of the Thord.

[technovillain]

idk if i've shared this hc before but i have the idea that raz can never truly get over his hydrophobia. as the wonder-boy of the psychonauts and relative of maligula, he wants to bring a positive light to hydrokinesis and get really good at it. but the same way that nona lucrecia doesn't like to be near the water still, raz can't get past that barrier and still struggles with the hand of galochio blocking his intent to move the water. he has to accept, despite really not wanting to, that he cannot be the one to "fix" his family's psychic association with water.

contrary to this, frazie is able to make peace with the water. this simultaneously strengthens and strains her relationship with nona. she starts to see more of herself than she'd like to in frazie, and it makes her a little nervous, but she's also very proud to see her become a strong psychic woman like she once was. (i also like to draw frazie as sharing a number of features with marona/lucrecia when she's older) frazie becomes an agent and a hydro specialist. and this makes raz frustrated and jealous. (i like to see that raz would get a little bit more cocky when he gets older. kind of like he was in the first game. he always means well, but he plays the hero role so hard that sometimes he's just a touch pompous.)

[joshuamj]

In Time and Stars

[chronicowboy]

Eddie has known exactly what he was going to come home to ever since Buck texted him to say he was going out for some afternoon drinks with Hen—Karen visiting her parents with the kids for the weekend, Eddie covering a shift for Julie, and Chris being spoiled rotten by his visiting tias—but it still warms his heart when he finds Buck dozing on the couch, all curled up like a house cat in a perfect ray of sun.

See, Buck's a big guy and he's still young, so he can handle his alcohol. But day drinking makes Buck adorably sleepy. Golden retriever Buck transforms into a clinging, cuddly koala bear—minus the Chlamydia because that's something Eddie knows now, thanks Buck. And Eddie loves every version of Buck equally, but this might be one of his favourites.

Eddie drops his duffel at the door, toeing off his shoes before crossing to the couch. He perches on the arm of the chair and runs a hand through Buck's curls, product displaced by his impromptu nap. Buck blinks awake slowly and curls up tighter, pushing his face deeper into the couch cushion before his body relaxes. His eyes find Eddie in seconds, and Eddie lets the joy rush through him like his very own intoxicant.

"Hey, baby," Buck murmurs thickly, dragging the 'y' out for long enough that Eddie can't bite back his chuckle. "Good shift?"

"Good shift," Eddie replies with a smile. "Good day with Hen?"

"Good day with Hen," Buck parrots, nodding against the couch before a yawn cracks his jaw. "Missed you."

A surprisingly strong arm reaches up to wrap around his waist, and Buck pulls him down onto the couch in a move so agile Eddie can't help wondering if he and Hen were on virgin piña coladas. He huffs a small noise of shock as Buck rearranges himself to fit against Eddie's side, nuzzling his face into the crook of Eddie's neck.

"I missed you too, baby," Eddie laughs, reburying his hand in Buck's hair when he's settled. "You hungry?"

"Mm." Buck drops a handful of lazy kisses to his shoulder, tightening his hold on Eddie. "Lenny's burgers and a movie?"

"Buck." Eddie presses his chuckle to Buck's temple. "You wouldn't stay awake through an episode of The Good Place."

"'s not really about the movie though," Buck argues, endearingly petulant as his brow furrows in discontent. Eddie cranes his neck to press a kiss to the wrinkle of his skin, satisfied when it disappears under his lips. "It's about you."

"Me?" It's Eddie's turn to frown then, barely able to follow Buck's mind on the best of days, unable to follow drunk Buck's erratic train of thought through all of its many, many stops.

"Like movie night." Buck yawns again, pressung it into Eddie's skin. "Was never about the movie. Was always about you and Chris."

"Oh." Eddie blinks, eyes stinging suddenly.

When Buck had shown up on his doorstep three nights after he and Marisol fizzled out to tell him that he'd broken up with Natalia, Eddie never thought Buck would be able to shock him more than that. Then Buck had told him he was in love, in love with Eddie of all people, and Eddie knew nothing would ever blindside him quite so brilliantly as that. But this is Evan Buckley. Evan Buckley who can say something so simple, yet so mindbogglingly romantic and loving even drunk and half-asleep. Eddie should know better by now.

"I love you," Eddie whispers. His only answer is a soft, snuffling snore. "Alright, cowboy." He laughs, scratching at Buck's scalp to hear his purring snore. "Guess I'm ordering our food then."

And Eddie can't wait to spend the rest of his life watching movies, even if Buck sleeps through them all.

[tagidearte]

There's something special about Moon being the only side of the DCA who has canonically (gameverse) voiced his counterpart's name ("No more Sun", which yes it's not him directly saying Sun's name since it's a figure of speech, but still) whereas Sun - the chatterbox - only refers to Moon via "he" or "other me". Moon, the quiet one who mostly laughs vs Sun who mostly uses words. Sun, who is scared of Moon, never utters his name whereas Moon clearly has no problem with it. Both of them using "we☀️/us🌙" prior to Eclipse. Moon, whose only opinion of Sun we can infer is "the other me trapped me in light so now I trap him in shadow", vs Sun's whole thing which is profoundly more fleshed out.

I don't know man, the "no more Sun" line always did things to me. I remember playing Ruin for the first time and getting this... jarring emotion when I heard Moon saying that. It's such a small line but good god did I latch onto it.

[nemaliwrites]

happened upon this article today, and damn if it didn't get me thinking

i've wondered a lot before about how the same story can be told through different mediums [which primarily can be seen through adaptations] but one thing i don't spend enough time thinking about is how the same story can be told through different word counts

i know people always are like 'a story is as long as it needs to be' but...is it?

i've technically run this experiment a few years ago, with Regrowth at exactly 100 words and Reduce, Reuse, Regrow at over 6000. honestly, it was kind of a fascinating experiment because....are they the same story? really? i guess at their core, you could argue that the plot is the exact same. tldr: giorno turns drug dealers into flowers. and that happens in both versions.

but there is no character in the drabble version, for the OCs and others. we don't get a sense of who giorno is in this story and why he's doing this - all we have to go off of is who he is in canon. we have no idea who tf marco [is that his name? i'm not rereading that to find out LOL] is - versus in the longer version we know about his connection to his family, his botanical garden, the plants he grows, etc. we know about his crush on Sofia. we know that mista saves him, which means giorno thinks he's someone worthy of being saved.

same thing for the police - they don't even get names in the drabble, compared to the names and personalities they're awarded in the longer version.

so...are they the same story?

i've been wondering [and by been wondering i mean i literally thought of this like an hour ago hehe] about how that can apply to other things as well, and this article is a terrific starting point. if you write your longfic as a oneshot, you have to pare down everything that 'doesn't matter' - which i'm using loosely, because as we've established, there are things important to a story that aren't just plot events. but you get such a clear distinction: what are the subplots vs the main plot? who are the side characters vs the main characters? if you have multiple antagonists, who is the one who drives the story primarily? without whom the story cannot exist any longer?

i wonder too if this, in a way, can kind of call back to the snowflake method - which i admittedly have never used but can see how it would be helpful. if you start small, let's say you write your story as a drabble. double it, and double it again. a few more times, and you have something short story length. then novella length. then novel length.

it could also be a way to literally build your story up piece by piece. okay, so you need a couple thousand more words. sure, you could just add a bunch of fluff or 'filler' - or, you could add in a subplot. you could add in a character that is integral to the story. and if you go the other way - from novel to drabble - and can't write a short story without that character, then you know how important they are.

in this way, you can kind of pare everything down to its barest bones, actually. character motivations, stakes, setting.....everything is tied together, which means changing one changes them all.

maybe at some point, you literally get to a point where you can't add anything else - and maybe that's where the story is as long as it needs to be. vice versa, too.

i will run this experiment a few more times and report back o7

[awoogaslashers]

[greghatecrimes]

Cameron coming to House and saying "I need someone to bounce ideas off of. Someone to be my whiteboard. That’s how you taught me to work." in 524 is the cutest/sweetest thing

[white-cat-of-doom]

Griddlebone Playlist

This playlist is meant to outline the complex (and fundamental) emotion of love, and the pitfalls and joys of chasing after something grand that requires another to reciprocate the affection.

More specifically for this set of songs, the want for love while having the feeling that something is not quite right, either with the other individual involved, or within your own mind. Through isolating oneself into hollow emptiness after heartbreak, and due to feeling devoid of being wanted, it is hard to be vulnerable and let anyone back into a place of emotional attachment.

Did you ever actually feel what 'love' was? Are you really deserving of being loved? After everything, wherever can you find it?

川口雅代 (Masayo Kawaguchi) – Melty

ROMY – LOVE コマーシャル (Love Commercial)

越美晴 (Miharu Koshi) – 恋はファニー・フィーリング (Love Is A Funny Feeling)

宮原芽映 (Mebae Miyahara) – 悪魔のように微笑んで (Smiling Like A Devil)

いしだあゆみ & ティン・パン・アレイ・ファミリ(Ayumi Ishida & Tin-Pan-Alley-Family) – 私自身 (Myself)

麗美 (REIMY) – シャドー・ブレイ (Shadow Play)

竹内まりや (Mariya Takeuchi) – プラスティック・ラブ (Plastic Love)

工藤順子 (Junko Kudo) – 夕顔姐さん (Ms. Yugao)

Meow Meow & Thomas Lauderdale – Hotel Amour

Tracks 1 and 2, 3 and 4, 5 through 7, and 8 and 9, are meant to represent different sections of time in the life of the Queen.

Signature song with playlist: Meow Meow & Thomas Lauderdale – Hotel Amour

Track One: 川口雅代 (Masayo Kawaguchi) – Melty

“ううん･･･ ････何でもないけれど 少し 不安になっただけ" ("Ugh... ...It's nothing, but I just felt a little anxious") 知られた分だけ わたしから ��めてゆくのが こわいから (I'm afraid that the more you know, the more you'll grow colder from me) "･･･そうよ･･･” (That’s right…”) すき間もない程に 昨夜 ひとつになったの (Last night we became one, with no gaps between us) しがみついたら 微笑うけど どうしていいのか わからない (I smile when I hold on to you, but I don't know what to do) Melty 手を引かれて 溶かし溶かされ 充たされるはずなのに (My hand should be pulled away, melted, melted, and filled up) Melty つかめないの どうしてかしら? 肩すかしされた 気分 (I can't grasp it, why? I feel like I've been ignored) 何にも言わずに 抱き寄せて (Without saying anything, I hold you close) 朝の光が あなたの景色変えないうちに (Before the morning light changes your scenery) “いやよ” ("No, no") ･･･言いかけてやめるのは うまく 言い聞かせるつもりね (...I'm trying to convince you to stop when I say it) 困らせたいの! (I want to embarrass you!) "お見通し” ("Foresight") 小悪魔ぶっても かなわない (Even if I act like a little devil, I can't compete) Melty 手を引かれて 溶かし溶かされ 充たされるはず充たされるはずなのになのに (My hand should be pulled away, melted, melted, and filled up) Melty つかめないの どうしてかしら? (I can't grasp it, why?) 何かが 違ってゆくの 何も言わせず 抱き寄せて (Something is going to be different, don't let me say anything, hold me close) めかくししてね ちぐはぐなこと 言わないうちに (Before I get too confused and say something foolish) Melty 手を引かれて 溶かし溶かされ 充たされるはずなのに (My hand should be pulled away, melted, melted, and filled up) Melty つかめないの どうしてかしら? 肩すかしされた気分 (I can't grasp it, why? I feel like I've been ignored) 何も言わずに 抱き寄せて (Hold me close without saying anything) めかくししててね (Please cover your eyes) 朝の光で 見えないうちに (Before you can see it in the morning light)

The initial apprehension of being more intimately involved, emotionally and physically, with another person comes with the realization that she felt nothing when it happened. She should be able to feel a deeper connection, but something is not right, and instead pretends and acts accordingly like everything is fine.

Track Two: ROMY – LOVE コマーシャル (Love Commercial)

指の中で タバコふかし 何もないのに 愛にまみれた (I smoked a cigarette in my fingers and was covered in love, even though there was nothing there) 気にするコトが 自分以外の あの人に対する 愛の神経 (What I worry about is the nerves of love for someone other than myself) いつか見た あの人はいない 私の人には ならなかった (That person I saw someday wasn't the same person I was) 私はなまけて ただならぬ犬より (I'm better than a lazy dog) ただの人を 選んでみただけ (I just picked a person) 私のコントロール あえてコントロール こわくてコントロール あえてコントロール 心に 私まかせ コントロール (My control, dare to control, I'm afraid to control, dare to control, leave it to my heart to control me) 頭の中で おもいふかし 何があるのか 夢のざわめき (I wonder what's going on inside my head, The buzz of dreams) ただならぬ人だから あえて こわがって あの人に対する 愛の恐怖 (Because he is an extraordinary person, I dare to be afraid of him, and the fear of love towards him) 抱かれる日は 心 うきあし もうひとりの私 かくしきれない (The days when I'm held in your arms, I feel happy, and I can't hide my other self) 私のコントロール あえてコントロール こわくてコントロール あえてコントロール 心に 私まかせ コントロール (My control, dare to control, I'm afraid to control, dare to control, leave it to my heart to control me)

A reflection on not feeling love when, or to the level, you think you should, while worrying how it will affect your partner. There is a comfort in being together with someone, but that surface level connection will eventually face the challenge of it being something more for them, and she is not prepared or ready for that.

Ultimately, it is up to Griddlebone to move forward in the best way that makes sense to her, and that path is one alone.

Track Three: 越美晴 (Miharu Koshi) – 恋はファニー・フィーリング (Love Is A Funny Feeling)

彼は時間に遅れて 私は指輪を忘れた だけど ゴメンも言わずに つまらぬ言い訳ごっこ 空は春 時は今 幸せですと言わんばかり だけど 二人の心は ちぎれ雲 (He was late and I forgot my ring But we don't say sorry, we make boring excuses, And the sky keeps saying that we're happy now in spring but our hearts are torn apart by clouds) 恋はファニー・フィーリング かまわず回る 恋はファニー・フィーリング 慣れっ子 だけど (Love revolves around funny feelings, but love is used to funny feelings) 彼は口笛吹きながら 私 ため息つきながら 通り過ぎる 街角 小鳥の歌だけ響く (He was whistling, I pass by with a sigh, Only the song of a small bird echoes on the street corner) いろんなことが あったけど みんないい思い出ばかり だから ここらでピリオド それがいい (A lot has happened, but we all have only good memories, So it's good to have the end around here) 恋はファニー・フィーリング 手を振りながら 恋はファニー・フィーリング 深刻ぶらず 歌いながら 笑ってサヨナラするわ オー ファニー オー ファニー ファニ ファニ オー フィーリング オー ファニー オー ファニー ファニ ファニ オー フィーリング (Love is a funny feeling, while waving, Love is a funny feeling, don't take it seriously, I'll laugh and say goodbye while singing Oh Funny Oh Funny Funny funny oh feeling Oh Funny Oh Funny Funny funny oh feeling)

In a goal to subside the loneliness and longing to feel proper love, Griddlebone moves through relationships over time to find the elusive 'love' she believes is out there. Scared of getting too involved with someone she holds minimal emotion for, she breaks off any connection before feelings develop from the other party, and plays it off as something lighthearted.

Despite her efforts, she cannot find someone who fulfills her inside the way she thinks love should be.

Track Four: 宮原芽映 (Mebae Miyahara) – 悪魔のように微笑んで (Smiling Like A Devil)

罠をしかけ待ってるん 悪魔のように 微笑んで (I'm setting a trap up and waiting for you, smiling like a devil) さあ ドアを 叩いて ドアを ひらいて (Come on, knock on the door, open the door) 泣きまねの 電話 かけて 街灯り 胸はずませ (I made a phone call imitating crying, and the street lights made my heart flutter) あの人を 呼び出したの (I called that person) 数えては 時間をかせぐ (Counting the time to buy myself some) 優しさを 言い訳して 赤い血が 流れる前に (Kindness, before I make excuses and red blood flows) 嘘をつく ずるいあなた 忘れてよ あの娘の事は (Forget about lying You're so cunning about that girl) 罠をしかけ待ってるん 悪魔のように 微笑んで (I'm setting a trap up and waiting for you, smiling like a devil) さあ ドアを 叩いて ドアを ひらいて (Come on, knock on the door, open the door) 待つだけの 女なんて さよならよ 今夜こそは (Say goodbye to the woman who only waits, tonight) 愛の 糸 足にからませ あの人を もう逃がさない (I'll let the thread of love entwine around my legs and never let that person slip away again) 罠をしかけ待ってるん 悪魔のように 微笑んで (I'm setting a trap up and waiting for you, smiling like a devil) さあ ドアを 叩いて ドアを ひらいて (Come on, knock on the door, open the door)

A new connection with someone shows promise, but she discovers that her partner is a cheater, something that hurts Griddlebone in a way that she has not experienced before. Not used to being treated as a second thought, and feeling like she is not worthy of love if made so inconsequential, she plots to destroy and expose her partner for what they have done to her.

All the joy and hope that she felt in locating a person that is right for her is now crushed, and she vows to not let herself be taken advantage of ever again in the pursuit of love.

Track Five: いしだあゆみ & ティン・パン・アレイ・ファミリ(Ayumi Ishida & Tin-Pan-Alley-Family) – 私自身 (Myself)

ひとりソファーに寝ころんで 恋の歌聞くでもなし 歌うでもなし (I lie alone on the sofa and listen to love songs, but I don't sing them) 私は日暮れを見つめています (I'm staring at the sunset) 部屋の窓には東京湾の 船の灯が小さく揺れて (In the window of the room, the lights of the ships in Tokyo Bay sway slightly) 一人ぐらしに疲れた時は 結婚なんか考えてます (When I get tired of living alone, I think about marriage) 夜汽車で旅に出る時は 色のない写真のように 素顔のままで 東京駅から出かけています (When I travel by night train, I leave Tokyo Station with my bare face, just like a colourless photograph) 幾度か恋にこの身を灼いて 歌を忘れた私だけれど (I have forgotten how to sing because my body has been burnt by love many times) 淋しさだけを心に積んで 今日もぽつんと歌っています (But today, I sing alone once again with only loneliness in my heart) くちづけ交す恋人にさえ 私の気持は言えないでしょう (I can't even tell my feelings to my lover who kisses me) 人に知られず流した涙 (The tears I shed without anyone knowing) 私は今日も歌っています････ (I'm still singing today...)

Moving on from her heartbreak, Griddlebone refrains from being involved with anyone else for a lengthy period of time, as that means she cannot be hurt once again. However, she cannot help but feel that the emptiness inside her continues to grow as time passes, even if she tries to remain strong willed. Her thinking is that she does not need anyone to sustain her happiness if she keeps the love she has to give tightly held internally.

Track Six: 麗美 (REIMY) – シャドー・ブレイ (Shadow Play)

淋しい笑顔と 言われるのに馴れても (Even if I get used to being told that my smile is lonely) 真夜中の鏡 覗けばつぶやくの (When I look into the mirror in the middle of the night, I whisper) Say, Love is the shadow play, shadow play Love is the shadow play 恋しても (Even if I fall in love) Love is the shadow play, shadow play, shadow play ひとりぼっちじゃ怖い (I'm scared of being alone) 街角の華やかさに 気がつけば急ぎ足 (If you notice the glamour on the street corner, hurry up) 片思いのままなら 恋も失くさず済むでしょう (If you keep your love unrequited, you won't lose your love) Say, Love is the shadow play, shadow play, shadow play Love is the shadow play, 密やかに (Secretly) Love is the shadow play, shadow play, shadow play 遠くあなた見てる (I'm watching you from afar) 気づかないで (Don't notice) darling 壊さないで (Don't break it) wow wow Love Love Love Love Love Love, darling, Love Love Love Love is the shadow play

Her loneliness begins to swell to a point of action, and Griddlebone cannot ignore it or remain dormant for much longer. She is unhappy being completely alone, and wants to feel any form of connection with another, but does not want to be hurt again.

Feeling unworthy of being loved due to her faults, her past pursuit of love becomes less of a task to complete and more of a buried burden she has to carry.

In order to protect herself from emotional suffering, she develops a cold façade to protect herself with.

Track Seven: 竹内まりや (Mariya Takeuchi) – プラスティック・ラブ (Plastic Love)

突然のキスや 熱いまなざしで (With a sudden kiss and a passionate gaze) 恋のプログラムを 狂わせないでね (Do not cause a malfunction to the love program) 出逢いと別れ 上手に打ち込んで (Type in encounters and separations well) 時間がくれば終わる (When the time comes, it ends) Don't hurry! 愛に傷ついた あの日からずっと (Since the day I was heartbroken, I've been having a life) 昼と夜が逆の 暮らしを続けて (That's been reversed between day and night) はやりのDiscoで 踊り明かすうちに (While dancing the nights away at the popular disco) おぼえた魔術なのよ (There is a magic I've learned) I'm sorry! わたしのことを決して 本気で愛さないで (Never love me seriously) 恋なんてただのゲーム 楽しめばそれでいいの (Love is just a game, all I need is to have fun with it) 閉ざした心を飾る 派手なドレスも靴も (The showy dresses and shoes decorating my closed heart) 孤独な友達 (Are my lonely friends) わたしを誘う人は 皮肉なものね いつも 彼に似てるわなぜか 思い出と重なり合う (The men who flirt with me are Ironically always similar to him for some reason My memories with him are overlapped) グラスを落として急に 涙ぐんでも わけは尋ねないでね (Don’t ask me why even if I drop my glass and suddenly glisten with tears) 夜更けの高速で 眠りにつくころ (When I fall asleep by the highway at dawn) ハロゲンライトだけ 妖しく輝く (Only halogen lights are mysteriously shining) 氷のように冷たい女だと ささやく声がしても (Although somebody is whispering that I’m an icy cold woman) Don't worry! I'm just playing games I know that's plastic love Dance to the plastic beat Another morning comes

Relationships become more of a pursuit of pleasure, rather than meaningful connection, for Griddlebone. A cycle of one night encounters to keep her company before the new day begins and she starts over again with someone new. Her self-worth starts to become tied with being seen as attractive and desirable by another person. She has convinced herself that this lifestyle will quell the void inside of her, although she knows in her heart that she is still painfully lonely. The isolation does not cease, no matter how many individuals she crosses path with.

Maybe one day she will not feel this way, but she believes it is her fault that everything turned out the way it has to this point.

Track Eight: 工藤順子 (Junko Kudo) – 夕顔姐さん (Ms. Yugao)

夕顔姐さん 部屋には 夏でもね (Yugao-san, even if it's summer in your room) こたつが置いてある 束ねたコードを つついてる 退屈な 白い猫が家族 (A bored white cat is pecking at the bundled cords next to the kotatsu table) 今夜のお座敷 長過ぎる いつもなら (The tatami room tonight is too long, as normal) 帰ってる時間 (Time to go home) お勝手の隅の 猫メシは 山盛りで (In the corner of the kitchen, there is a mountain of cat food) とても食べきれない (I can't eat it all) 明かりは点いてても 時計の音ばかり そろそろ聞こえて来る はずなのに (Even though the lights are on, all I can hear is the ticking of the clock) 夕顔姐さんの下駄の音 (The sound of Yugao-nee’s geta) 夕顔姐さんの下駄の音 (The sound of Yugao-nee’s geta) 夕顔姐さん 来年 数えでね 六十三になる (Yugao-san, I'll be turning 63 next year) 近頃男はダメだね 粋じゃない それが口ぐせです (Men are no good these days. It's not classy. That's what they say.) 衣ずれの裾は 萩の花 つい昨日 かけたパーマネント (The hem of my clothes was like a clover flower, a permanence that I wore just yesterday) 西に傾いた 大きな お月様 帰りを急がせる (The big moon leaning to the west hurries my return home) 浮かれ足の男 物欲し気な女 (A playful man, a wistful woman) 若いネオンの街に カラコロと (In a young neon city, colourfully) 夕顔姐さんの下駄の音 (The sound of Yugao-nee’s geta) 夕顔姐さんの下駄の音 (The sound of Yugao-nee’s geta) 細い路地に入ると 犬達が吠えだす 待ちくたびれた猫は夢で聞く (When I enter a narrow alley, the dogs start barking, and the tired cat hears it in a dream) 夕顔姐さんの下駄の音 (The sound of Yugao-nee’s geta) 夕顔姐さんの下駄の音 (The sound of Yugao-nee’s geta)

Years removed from the emotional low point of her life, the empty hedonism to fill the void inside her, Griddlebone has taken up residence with an older, single woman that has mirrored her own experiences in the search of love. The familiar sounds of geta beckon the arrival of her human home to Griddlebone, and her days are spent resting in the sun and keeping busy through the house, all while reminiscing of a past of incomplete love. She has become accustomed to a quiet, uneventful life where she is loved by Ms. Yugao as a sweet pet and taken care of like the beautiful Queen she is.

Still, there is an unshakable feeling that she has missed out on true love in her life, despite her current, content happiness.

Track Nine: Meow Meow & Thomas Lauderdale – Hotel Amour

Fun fact: Meow Meow played Griddlebone in the 2019 movie!

I looked for Love in the beautiful cities I looked for Love up in the air I looked underground though I knew that I shouldn't And still, no Love was anywhere I went to the place they call Heaven I went to the Hotel Amour I sat still and wrote Love some letters But Love doesn't read anymore I sang Love into my stories And I danced Love into my dreams But Love didn't find me Let alone blind me Love is nowhere it seems I looked for Love by pretending I wasn't I looked for Love close to the bone I fixed up some wings and I bought all the permits So Love could take flight when it was grown I followed the maps, I read all the signs I bought Love a building called "Home" I filled in the forms and I paid all the taxes Still, Love left me alone... My heart's still jumping out of my skin I've nothing to keep the feeling in I've nothing to do to make Love stay I've nothing to keep the darkness away You're all in the grandness of little things A leaf that's shaped like a heart A simple breeze, a feather Morning light, evening star And I'm singing to you my stories And I'm dancing with you in my dreams... Love... Love is everywhere... it seems

Throughout her life, Griddlebone has done everything she thought was correct to find and feel a form of love that made her feel complete, but could be deemed as unsuccessful in that pursuit.

Although it never manifested for her as love with another, she has felt the unconditional love of someone that cares for her as the most important thing in her life.

Looking back on her life now as a senior Queen, Griddlebone comes to a realization that love can now be found all around her. It was never her fault for not finding the idea of 'love' that she felt she needed, and there may never have been an instance where she felt that she had found the prize she was after, but love was always with her in the little things of life.

@the-cat-at-the-theatre-door I am not sure if you are still interested in these after all this time, but in case you are, enjoy :).

[fire-branded]

Continued from here:

These encounters were always so bittersweet.

Cidolfus Telamon would come to Rosalith Castle on behalf of King Barnabas, and it was, naturally, meant to be entirely political. And perhaps it was; perhaps these brief encounters were naught more than just another method of getting into the Archduke's good graces for business purposes. To lull him into lowering his defenses, and to try to manipulate him for Waloed's benefit. Or maybe they were empty, playful flirting, meant for both parties to have a moment's reprieve from the seriousness, the tenseness, of the ambassador's news and proposals.

Elwin wouldn't be surprised in the slightest. But he still enjoyed them nonetheless -- looked forward to them, even.

With a soft, lighthearted little laugh, he allowed himself to be pulled closer. When the Lord Commander's hand sought his waist, his own free one moved to the other's shoulder. The one held in his own received an affectionate squeeze; just the smallest, subtlest gesture, before gloved fingers laced between Cid's.

"I trust you." Not that he wouldn't fight back if Waloed's representative did try to harm him -- and it would not be a fight easily won by the other, no matter how relaxed Elwin was at this moment. "Quite the charming tongue you have, Lord Commander. No wonder King Barnabas sees fit to always send you."

As far as the Duchess knew, the two were discussing the state of affairs between Storm and Ash, and whether or not an alliance was at all feasible -- especially because of Waloed's complex(a term used generously to describe it) relationship with the Holy Empire. And if she did suspect anything between them, she expressed not a single care. Still, he did feel guilty for these simple pleasures, pleasures he was otherwise deprived of, even with his close friendship with Rodney and Hanna Murdoch.

As his gaze fixed upon Cid's eyes, taking in the details of his features as though committing them to memory once more, the smile that hinted at the corners of his lips was warm as the sun. That same warmth reflected in his eyes, speaking towards the unspoken affection he had developed towards him. No, this was not long-lasting, and they both knew it well; but they could enjoy it until its end, savor each moment as though it was the last.

Another quiet, breathy laugh. With permission granted, he began to lead Cid into a slow, albeit small, dance. As they swayed about the carpeted floor of his study, the Archduke briefly brought the other's hand to his lips to offer a kiss to his knuckles. An ambiguous enough gesture regarding his personal feelings.

"Your company," was the simple, and direct, answer.

@oflucendi

[froget-me-nots]

i am going to be kind to myself about it. i will feel guilty about being kind to myself and then i will do it anyways. i will mess up over and over and over and still deserve kindness.

[gu6chan]

Your post about The Most American Sandwhich just made me imagine Leonard as an American... Leonard scuttling about at a Walmart parking lot, trying to fit all the food he bought in the trunk (enough to hermit away for the next few weeks begote he has to restock again)

this is a bit late but this has me WAILING........ american leonard, what groceries will he buy........ do you think he would treat him also to The Most American Sandwich

now introducing: the U.P's youngest resident

also during the process of scribbling in his hoodie i looked at it and almost started crying

[cherlsh]

[txmxkis]

40s/50s/60s love songs are so dabi coded to me i'm sorry