#ft. malcolm wright

[noelsovain]

caffeine was just one of noel's many vices, though it was hardly the worst thing on that list. but that was something he made a point of not dwelling on. he didn't like to dwell. and yet, it felt like that's all he'd done since he'd gotten back to town. though that shouldn't have come as much of a surprise. just like he shouldn't have been surprised to see malcolm, and yet, there he was. but he liked to think he hid it well, a wide grin appearing across his face as he leaned on the counter. "well of course."

malcolm recognizes most of his old classmates as they pour into town. after all, they went through some stuff together. but there were a few he'd know just their presence. a familiar feeling near him, his eyes dart upward from the counter of the shop he works in. so many people come here every day, looking for records and books and getting their caffeine fix. some of them knowing the right people to hook them up with the stronger stuff, to which he turns a blind eye. the face that his eyes are met with could be here for whatever he wants, he's just happy to see him. the grin on his face spreads further. "well if it isn't you?" he taps his fingers gingerly on the counter. "did you miss me that much that i had to be the first thing you saw when you came back?"

@noelsovain

[ofvcnguard]

“you came and took me by surprise” m&m :Dagger:

Malcolm smirks and downs the rest of his drink, slamming it back down on the table with a little more force than necessary. Coming from her lips, it doesn’t sound like a compliment at all, their fight still bitter on their tongues. Twenty years old and living the life of a roguish adventurer, traveling here and there at the whims of magical history, he has no time for this. Maggie’s presence is nothing more than a holdup; he has friends and family that he still bothers to keep in touch with, and she is delaying his return to them. It’s not his fault this latest dig uncovered the den of some rare species whose name he can’t pronounce, even if she glares at him as if it is. Lectures can only make his work wait longer, - but as much as he doesn’t want to provoke one again so he can get on with it all, a part of him still buzzes from the thrill of arguing with her. All he does is shrug, refilling both of their cups. “I get that a lot. You’re the first to mean it as an insult, though.” The tent is lit by a shaky lantern, and they are both streaked heavily with dirt. She is still the most brilliant thing he’s ever seen. Maybe she hates him, but Malcolm realizes with a sort of calm surety that he is half in love with her already.

Every time he sees her, it feels like coming home. This time is no different; they may be forty and beginning to show the signs of age but she is still his north star. Malcolm knows he loves her, knows she loves him - they’ve been doing this for so long it could hardly be anything else - but still, the admission feels like something taking root in his chest, as if he has become something more than himself. Their love isn’t something tender; he doesn’t ache for her when they’re apart ( or at least, not often ) nor has he ever dared to stake a claim to her in any way,. With their lifestyles, always on the move, he knows better than to ask her to settle down and knows he doesn’t want to settle down anyways; theirs is not a life built for picket fences. Still, sometimes, she will say something and Malcolm will want to throw caution to the wind and tell her never to leave his side again. He never does. Maybe one day he will - maybe that day will be the end of whatever this is. “Aye, well, I’ve always loved to keep you on your toes.” With his arm slung around her shoulder as they lounge on his couch, it is all too easy to pull her closer and press a kiss to her temple. He wonders if he will ever stop feeling lucky.

Later that night, he kisses her. It’s no surprise when she pushes him away, and it wouldn’t be a surprise if she smacked him. It is a surprise when she pulls him back in. In the moment, everything feels so new, so tentative, as if they have grasped onto something ephemeral. Two decades later, it will feel as familiar as breathing. Malcolm has never cared much for divination, has never read his future in the tea leaves or listened to the stars when they spoke, but when he looks back on this moment he will wish he had. When he is forty he will wish his twenty-year-old self had run to the nearest seer, had searched his future for her name. Oh, how much easier it all would’ve been if he’d known that he’d have just this one constant in his life, even if he had nothing else. But as he kisses her, the future couldn’t possibly matter less. Sometime later, they separate, and once again Mal finds himself refilling their cups. If they’re drinking, they never need to deal with this. Of course, he is not someone who would let himself overthink anything that happens between them that night, and he doubts she is, but she is still an unknown and he is still cautious even as he throws himself wholly into the abyss. “Did that take you by surprise?” Then again, he’s never been good at keeping his mouth shut.

There is a simple kind of intimacy in the act of coexisting. When their tumultuous and exciting lives throw them together, they let it; they find that their places in each other’s lives are still there. It comes in a lazy night, a shared couch, open books before the fire. It comes in the desert nights where the heat is so extreme they can’t stand to be too close to each other, yet when night falls they find their cots in the same tent because they can’t stand to be too far from each other, either. A part of him knows that he takes this for granted, but they’ve somehow both ended up with a few overlapping months in London and he can’t bring himself to care about any of his own shortcomings too much. Even once the words have faded from the air around them, Mal still finds his attention thoroughly captured. It’s been twenty years since the first time she said it, since the first time he took her by surprise, since the first time she took him by surprise. Twenty years since the first time they kissed, since he was barely more than a kid making heart eyes at her as she lectured him. Countless other lectures have come his way since then. He looks forward to the countless ones to come. Twenty years ago he didn’t care all that much what happened next between them, and at forty he doesn’t either - because now he knows. Now, he knows that even if they never get that settled-down fairytale ending, they will always fall back into each other when their paths cross. He doesn’t know how he could hope for anything else.

[softfocuslife]

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So so smooth sunday session with our friend @malcolmjgray, who's been the voice of Soft Focus Radio for a while now. "It is now ok to take your clothes off!"

Tracklist:

Ink

Glenn Travis: Nirvana Mars Today: Wait Too Long Josh Pan: I Used To Jay Prince: Last Summer Mars Today: Winnin' EYUKALIPTUS: EIghts On Me devMaccc: kickin it RNDYSVGE: FindU Stro ft. Marco McKinnis: From Me Tito Wun: 1023 Sunset Blvd Beshken: Nina Elaquent: The Journey SG Lewis ft. Toulouse: Time We Had

Sammy Jam

Telic ft. Dizzy Wright: The Message Neguim. & Jäde: Question Time Jay Elliot: Flamingo Mura Masa: Sole M8s Osza: Beginnings Blackparty ft. Kari Faux: Show Me Harry Griffiths: PIZZA Grumby ft. Heems: Ceviche Jarreau Vandal: Someone That You Love [Tek.Lun Remix] Childish Gambino: Terrified [Zikomo Remix]

Malcolm J Gray Takeover

Sonder: Sirens H.E.R.: Gone Away Abrahamblue: Lets Escape Mar: A Simple Go Sam Gellaitry: To Earth And Back [Fede's Slowed, Sliced N Screwed Edit] PARTYNEXTDOOR: Freak In You Black Party: I Hope You Know Lylo Gold: Starry Night Sinead Harnett: So Solo Buddy: A Lite Sango: Bencoes [Sango Blem Mix] Brent Faiyaz: No One Knows Soul II Soul: Back To Life [Zikomo Remix] Frank Ocean: Chanel Geotheory ft. Goon: D&A Austin Lebron: Voy Pay Ya Allan Kingdom: Know About It [Sango Edit] Steve Lacy: Haterlovin

Be Dar: Wake Up