#ftf: boss fight

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF: Boss Battle

The show where we put a team of characters up against one much stronger or haxier character.

This Week's Fighters...

Gordon Freeman vs The RED Team!

Conditions:

RED Team restricted to Stock. Gordon has full arsenal.

Scenario:

G-Man wants Gordon to steal some Australium from The Administrator. RED Team tries to stop him.

[pipigoogoo]

I’m just gonna make a list of all the games on roblox I’ve had an obsession with recently because I’m pretty sure they’re all underrated. I’ll also give a brief description of the game and what I like about them, so if any of them sound good to you, I definitely encourage at least trying them out because some of them are hidden gems. I will update this every time I find a new game to love.

- Daybreak 2 (current obsession - severely underrated. Yes it might be a roblox rip-off of Dead by Daylight but who actually cares? It’s a good game especially for those who want to play dbd but can’t. If you like flee the facility, you’ll love this game. I think. It’s definitely more complicated than flee the facility… way more complicated, but if you don’t let that put you off and you keep at it, you’ll start getting the hang of it. It’s mainly about learning the characters and there are a LOT of characters. BUT. If you DON’T like flee the facility, you might still like the game!!! It’s only similar to ftf in the sense that there’s a killer and you’re powering stuff up to escape, but everything else is entirely different!! Completely different gameplay and experience!!! Enough rambling, but there’s been a lot of effort put into this game. Each character has a backstory, different perks etc. so if you appreciate that kinda stuff…)

- Guts and Blackpowder (this game is so amazing my lord. Also the voice acting is spectacular and so immersive - it’s my favourite part of the game. You’re fighting zombies in the Napoleonic War and you come out of it feeling like a warrior. What’s not to love? Every map has different objectives with areas that vary in difficulty. And you can choose what role you play, each one just as important as the next. I personally like being a seaman!! I recommend starting off as infantry though and trying all the roles before choosing your main.)

- Taxi Boss (yeah idk I just like driving around and customising cars. Mafia bosses stress me OUT tho, they’re so demanding. The plot is in the name. You start a taxi business, level it up, buy cars and employees and have a great time doing it. Seriously idk why this game is so fun to me, but it is.)

- Cabin Crew Simulator (this one was because of my flight crew. I gave them backstories and everything. Each plane ride has the chance to have a different emergency happen which is fun.)

- Tea Time Buffet (current - this one is because I pretend I’m eating all the food in the game and it’s really satisfying. Also the pastries are really pretty.)

- Evade (yeahhh I just like feeling like a hero flying around and saving people. Also, I like unlocking power ups and cosmetic items. I’m pretty sure everyone knows what this game is about and I can say that this is not underrated but there will be some people who haven’t played it before, so go try it out. And for those who don’t know - you have to EVADE nextbots whilst saving teammates who may have been downed by them.)

[asmallpinkfan3]

The owl house master list:

Making them food

Painter s/o

Sick y/n

Going to a bar with eda

In another life there is paradise

Sewing Darius x reader pt1 pt2

Party at the clawthorne house

Raine with a s/o who knits

Cuddles and a little red bird

Walking in a field of flowers

Reader making toh a pie

Toh on a rainy day hcs

Toh playing twister

Reader making toh food

Southern farmer reader

Reader that does pottery

Reader and Darius with hunter as their kid

Y/n getting into a fight

Christmas

Toh kids prankish belos

Watching TikTok with them

Toh as birds

Karaoke night at the clawthornes

Mama cmaila hc with hunter

Toh + sports hc

Toh roasting marshmallows

Toh and camping

Hunter seeing raine and eda after FTF

Raine and eda fluff

Toh+winged reader

Country human eda meeting Luz and raine

Eda drunkingly bossing Luz around

Luz’s friend group trying Mac Donald’s

Hunter x death! Reader

Reader learning how to knit with them

Hunter x dizzy reader

Toh+ public school

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF: Boss Battle

The show where we put a team of characters up against one much stronger or haxier character.

This Week's Fighters....

Gordon Freeman vs The RED Team!

Conditions:

RED Team restricted to stock. Gordon has Full Arsenal.

Scenario:

G-Man wants Gordon to steal some Australium from The Administrator. RED Team tries to stop him.

BOSS: Gordon Freeman

Many shooter heroes have gone up against impossible odds. Conquered incomprehensible threats from beyond the stars and bested physical gods. And yet, the greatest of all these heroes isn't an uber space marine or a super masculine macho man. No, Gordon Freeman is simply an ordinary scientist with a crowbar.

Gordon Freeman was once a diligent theoretical physicist working at the top secret lab known as Black Mesa. However, one of Gordon's experiments accidentally punched a hole into another universe, causing an alien invasion. Gordon is forced to fight for his life and fend off the invaders, making him the savior off Earth. Unfortunately, this puts him on the G-Man's radar, forcing him to serve the mysterious being and his employers for the rest of his days... until Half-Life 3 comes out... assuming it will.

Luckily, G-Man mostly seems to want Gordon to kick alien ass and Freeman's got plenty of tools for the job. For starters, he never goes into battle with his trusty HEV suit. The Hazardous EnVironment Suit comes with a whole bunch of nifty features, boosting his otherwise normal human stats to superhuman levels. With it, he's durable enough to tank military air strikes with 134 megajoules of force behind them and survive hits from lasers that do this to solid steel walls.

Source:

Moreover, most of Gordon's stronger weapons can kill Alien Grunts, who are strong enough to completely obliterate steel gates. By using Gordon as a measuring stick to estimate the size and thickness of the wall, it can be determined that it would over half a ton of tnt to generate this kind of explosion, roughly 0.723 tons of tnt to be precise.

Source:

The suit also has a built in radiation detector and an ai voice that informs him of any grievous injuries. Upon sustaining an injury, he's pumped full of painkillers potent enough to let him shrug off bullet wounds. Similarly, the suit's antitoxins are strong enough to reverse the effects of headcrab poison, which leaves him on the brink of death with just a touch, in seconds. Hell, he can even tank hits from antimatter weapons, endure extreme heat and cold, endure dangerous acids, and shrug off high voltage electricity. Even morso, the suit can be upgraded, allowing him to leap several Kilometers when using the long jump module.

He also carries a large array of guns. While Gordon has the typical shotgun, AK, and RPG ensemble you would expect from a shooter protagonist, he also has some unique guns. He carries two crossbows, one shoots tranquilizer darts while the other shoots bars of molten metal. He carries the Gluon Gun, which shoots unstable Gluon particles so powerful that they make people explode, the Tau canon, which shoots Tau particles, or molecular particles that make up matter on the Quantum Level, and the hive hand, which shoots alien bugs at people like a wasp machine gun. His Pulse Rifle shoots energy projectiles and, when charged up, shoots a ball of antimatter that bounces around everywhere and erases everyone it touches on contact. His most iconic gun, however, is the gravity gun, which manipulates gravity to allow him to throw anyone and anything that gets in his grasp around like a ragdoll, even erasing people with its antimatter energy should he grab them with it thanks to a handy upgrade the Combine gave it. And that's not even the only gun in Gordon's arsenal that can flat delete you, as the Gluon Gun can destabilize the Gluon Particles of its target and rip them apart on the subatomic level.

With these powerful weapons, Gordon has fought off impossible odds with ease. He stopped an alien invasion within the span of a week at most and turned the tide of a hopelessly one sided war against a galactic empire in the span of two days. He curb stomped his way through the US Military, is fast enough to react to and dodge rockets, and has even impressed the reality warping G-Man with his remarkable abilities.

Source:

Having said that, he has a few weaknesses. For one thing, his suit's durability relies on its battery, so he'll frequently have to recharge it if he gets hit too often. He also doesn't wear a helmet, which leaves his squishy human head exposed for his superhuman enemies to crush.

Despite that though, Gordon Freeman is universally beloved as the savior of mankind and is dreaded even by godlike, reality warping aliens. That says a lot about a man who used to just be a pimply scientist. The right man in the wrong place can achieve just about anything.

Team: RED Team

It began in 1850. Wealthy English industrialist Zepheniah Mann, owner of Mann Co, was convinced by his greedy, idiotic sons to purchase land in the US to expand the company. Zepheniah agreed, only to discover that the lands he purchased were useless dust bowls and lifeless gravel pits. Not only that, but he'd contracted many horrific diseases during his trip to the states that quickly ate up his health. Dying bitter at his incompetent sons, Zepheniah would write his last will on his rotting skin, splitting the worthless lands between Redmond and Blutarch to ensure that they would fight over it for the rest of their lives.

Desperate to get the other's half of the fortune, the Brothers Mann would turn their halves of the company into Reliable Excavation Demolition (RED) and Builders League United (BLU) respectively, using them as fronts to wage eternal war on each other. In their pointless bid to get this worthless land full of fuck all to themselves, the brothers would hire nine of the greatest mercenaries in the world to fight for them. The exact same mercenaries. For both of them. Don't think about it.

They would cycle through numerous teams over the years, until the 1960s where we'd meet the most iconic ensemble of the RED Team. The Team that would come to be known as Team Fortress!

The Scout is fast talking brawler from Boston he thinks he's hot shit and thinks he's God's gift to women. Because he is. Canonically. God told him so. He's easily the fastest person on his team, more than quick enough to outrun trains and flat out dodge rockets. And while he's certainly not book smart by any definition, he's a good enough scrapper to kill a Heavy in one on one melee combat. If he can't bust you up with his bat, then the wide spread of his shotgun would likely shred you to pieces, while his pistol finishes you off. He's swift enough to somehow double jump, durable enough to drink radioactive soda, and strong enough to blow you out of the park with his taunt kill. Hell, he's durable enough to survive three of Soldier's rockets blowing up in his face simultaneously, despite being heavily injured, tanking a combined energy equivalent to 0.007 tons of TNT!

Source:

The Soldier, otherwise known as Jane Doe, is batshit crazy patriotism personified. He wanted so badly to fight in World War 2 that he went on a one man crusade against Germany for years before learning that the war ended in 1949. He's mad enough to wrestle bears while covered in honey and crazy enough to try to fly by shooting rockets directly at his feet. Which makes it sll the more absurd when it actually works. A madman with a rocket launcher is one thing, give him pseudo flight and you've invited death himself onto the battlefield, raining rockets down from the skies and bludgeoning your teeth out with a shovel when he lands. Or blow you both up with the grenades on his chest. Or just shoot you with a shotgun. Whatever works.

The Pyro is a mysterious pyromaniac of indefinitive origin, indeterminate gender, and very definite lack of sanity, viewing all the chaos and death he brings through the fantastical lens of Pyroland. In reality though, she's burning down everything in sight with reckless abandon, either with their flamethrower or with their bare hands. Ryu would be filling a lawsuit if he wasn't currently ashes. And lest you think that's all the Pyro has, many a foolish Soldier has forgotten about the power of airblast and paid dearly for it. With a burst of compressed air from her flamethrower, Pyro can juggle enemies in the air and send projectiles and rockets back at the enemy.

Tavish Finnegan DeGroot, aka The Demoman is one of best and most dangerous Demomen to ever roam the Earth. If he weren't, he wouldn't be able to discuss it with you, now would he? Despite his constant drunkeness and lack of depth perception, the Demoman can easily blow the enemy to pieces with both the careful placement of clever sticky bomb traps or the ruthless spamming of bouncing explosive pipes. He can even take a note from the book of his dear friend Soldier and blast himself into the air with his bombs.

The Heavy Weapons Guy is easy to mistake for a lumbering brute, but beneath the muscle and thick Russian accent is a brutal and intelligent mercenary. Mikhail is a gulag survivor who works to provide for his family and possesses a degree in Russian literature. With enough beef to out muscle the rest of his team and a massive minigun loving naned Sasha, the Heavy rarely needs to think too hard to mow down everything in sight. And if he does, he knows exactly how to best rip a man in half or blow the head off with a shotgun.

Deil Conagher aka The Engineer is a humble Texas gadgeteer with eleven PHDs. While his trusty shotgun gives him an option in a fight, Engie is much better off building supports for his team, such as massive minigun sentries with built in rocket launchers to protect the base, ammunition and health dispensers to restock his team, and teleporters to keep his team on the frontlines and tele-frag any poor sap who stands on the other end of it.

What Mr. Ludwig lacks in his regards for the Hippocratic Oath, the Medic makes up for in his mad scientific expertise. Don't let his lost medical license fool you, the Medic is a veritable genius. His most iconic invention, the Medigun, can heal the brutalized bodies of teammates, put people's bodies back together, and can, when fully charged, render whoever he's healing temporarily invincible. He was once able to resurrect the dead by just... putting their blood back inside them and even managed to steal his teammates souls and surgically attach them to himself in order to scam Satan himself. His bonesaw can hack to pieces and his syringe gun gives him a method of self defense from afar.

Nick Mundy is a rugged, relaxed outdoorsman from the outback with a tense relationship with his parents and also the greatest marksman on Earth. While his machete and SMG give him options for dealing with close quarters combatants, the Sniper is most at home sitting back and blowing the heads off whoever he's been paid to kill this week. He's a professional. Nothing personal.

The Spy is the mysterious master of disguise of the team, with a penchant for acquainting his knives to the spines of his unsuspecting foes. His watch allows him to turn invisible for a limited time to best ambush his foes, while his disguise kit allows him to impersonate anyone on Earth, from your teammates to even famous celebrities.

Despite the team's frequent zany antics and at times debatable intelligence, they are the greatest mercenaries on Earth for a reason. Together, they've beaten everything from killer bread monsters to evil wizards and even a robot army. They are, for better or for worse, the greatest team of gunmen on the planet. Often, for far worse.

Throwdown Theme:

Throwdown Breakdown:

So... Gordon doesn't wear a helmet. If knly the RED Team could take advantage of that somehow. Like say they had a, I dunno... Sniper of some description. Don't know anyone like that, guess Gordon stomps.

But in all seriousness, it's a question of if the RED Team can keep Gordon distracted for long enough for Mundy to get his shot. And, in short, no. Not at all. Naturally, Gordon is much stronger. Much. Much Stronger.

What I mean is that Gordon is a wooping 103x stronger! (0.723 tons of TNT vs 0.007). Meaning it's entire possible that Gordon simply mows throw the whole team before Sniper can even get a single shot off. That is a massive problem, as even Gordon's regular guns should be strong enough to reduce the mercs to giblets with a graze with that gap.

Hell, Sentry Buster explosions completely obliterate the mercs and those themselves are much weaker than Freeman at 0.09 tons of TNT.

Source:

Medic is a necessity for this fight to even be debatable. The Medigun's ability to pull mercs back together after they've been annihilated is safety net they desperately need. After Heavy and Pyro get shredded and put back together (they are the ones meant to be engaging head on after all), the team will likely split up to keep Freeman from decimating them all. I tragically don't see Heavy really surviving the early fight due to his low maneuverability and Medic possibly might not either. Once Gordon sees him resurrect someone, he'd likely make Medic a priority, leaving the team without their method of taking hits. Thankfully, Gordon isn't likely to wipe immediately. A bunch of people comparable to, if not superior to Gordon in speed all running in different directions means Gordon is guaranteed to miss a few of them at first.

However, this forced split up would turn the game into an intense game of cat and mouse, giving a certain stealth expert the time to shine. While any Merc could theoretically ambush Gordon and shoot him in his obviously unarmoured head if they play their cards right, Spy is in the best position to do so. Gordon has no way of seeing through invisibility and given Spy's specialty, he's liable to go invisible as soon as the fight starts. This gives him the perfect opportunity to just... shoot Gordon in the head while invisible. Problem solved.

Even is Spy does die in the early bloodbath, there are some scenarios where the team can still win this. Pyro is fast enough to airblast back some projectiles early on and kill Gordon that way, but he's unlikely to survive thr bloodbath due to a lack of mobility options. Similar to Sniper or Engineer. But, Scout, Demoman, and Soldier likely would due to their own movement options. One well placed sticky trap is that would be needed to get Freeman's head.

There's this misconception that the TF2 Mercs are all incompetent idiots who do their jobs by accident moreso than on purpose. And while some of them are fairly stupid and they're all very unhinged, it's pretty consistent that they can organize very well when the chips are down. They know how to fight. How to strategize mid-fight, and even how to plan. And against a threat as overwhelming as Freeman, that would definitely shine.

This Throwdown's Winner is...

The Red Team!

The Boss has been defeated!

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF Shorts: Not Even Close!

A vs show where the longer analysis and set up is skipped in order to briefly explain why a certain fight is nowhere near close.

This Week's Fighters...

Stolas Goetia vs Omni-Man!

Stats

I'm going to be as generous to Nolan as physically possible and highball him to kingdom fuck. Death Battle has made the sun disk feat infamous, so I'll use the highest possible end of that feat that exists.

For those not in the know, the Coalition of Planets built a massive disk to block out a sun on a big ass planet. Their weapons are powerful enough to destroy this disk, but are not powerful enough to hurt Viltrumites. Being as generous as possible regarding the Sun Disk's size, destroying would require energy equivalent to 29 Foe!

Now, this feat has a lot of problems. The most prominent of which being the story consistently insisting it usually takes multiple Viltrumites to destroy even a single planet. But, that's not relevant here as Stolas can still match it.

Stolas was able to create a pocket reality containing numerous stars in a matter of seconds, a feat requiring energy equivalent to 16880000000000000000 Foe.

The speed required to create a realm that big that quickly would mean Stolas's magic was traveling 63180000000x faster than light. Easily on par with the billions of times light speed feats for Omni-Man.

Even using more conservative estimates for both, the advantage still swings to Stolas. Viltrumites flat out die while fighting inside of stars, and Stolas destroys stars without giving a fuck.

Hax

This is where the problems for Nolan truly lie. Omni-Man could be billions of times faster and stronger and it simply would not matter against Stolas's hax.

As demon royalty, Stolas can only be killed by holy weapons that destroy his soul. Otherwise, his body simply regenerates around the soul like nothing happened. As Omni-Man can't do this, he cannot kill Stolas. Meanwhile, Stolas can kill Omni-Man by simply possessing him and making him crush his own head as he did against DHORKS or open a portal to a black hole or exploding star and yeeting him through. Both of which Stolas can do from the comfort of his own living room.

Stolas has constantly shown the ability to observe and use his abilities in the mortal realm from the comfort of his own home. He could spy in Blitzo on Earth from the comfort of his own bathtub and he was able to possess DHORKS from Hell and force them to summon him through possession. He's not omniscient by any stretch, but Stolas is more than capable of killing Nolan without even needing to be in the same universe as him to put himself in harm's way.

That's the ultimate zinger with this matchup. Stolas can kill Omni-Man while relaxing in his bathtub while Nolan can't kill Stolas period. The funny horny bird man from Helluva Boss beats Omni-Man.

This Throwdown's Winner is....

Stolas Goetia!

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF Shorts: Not Even Close!

A vs show where the longer analysis and set up is skipped in order to briefly explain why a certain fight is nowhere near close.

This Week's Fighters...

Albert Wesker vs Alex Mercer!

The outcome of this matchup lies entirely within the stats. While Alex may seem to directly perform feats more impressive than anything Albert has done, Wesker has a lot of in universe power scaling that puts him above Mercer.

Let's start with Alex's most widely known feat, "tanking" a nuke. While the distance Alex was from the explosion means that Mercer didn't actual survive the blast's full yield, lets say he could just no sell the nuke for the sake of argument. Using in game projections of the blast, the explosion would've been big enough to completely glass Manhattan, requiring a yield of roughly 8.2 Megatons.

Keep in mind, this is much, much more powerful than how strong the nuke was actually stated to be in game and I'm operating under the assumption Alex tanked the nuke without a scratch, which is blatantly not true. I'm giving Alex every possible benefit you could give him here.

Albert still outclasses this feat with his scaling. Albert has tanked hit from the L.T.D., a handgun version of an orbital laser that hits with the "full force of the sun". In RE Revelations 2, one of these weapons is used to wipe out a city. Wesker can take multiple shots from one, coming out at about 42.8 Megatons.

Thanks to the way physics works, this would also apply to Albert's attack potency. He can evenly trade hits with those who can hurt him.

That's a strength gap of 5.2x in Albert's favor at best, but it gets worse. Remember how I said I was being generous with Mercer surving the nuke? Well, if you take away those assumptions and starting going off of how powerful those weapons actually are stated to be, and the gap gets much worse.

The news broadcast that plays over the Prototype 1 credits directly states that the bomb was 5x more powerful than the bomb dropped on Hiroshima. That's.... a measly 75 kilotons. Now Albert's 750x stronger than the bomb that liquefied Alex completely while he wasn't even in the epicenter.

If that crow hadn't been there for Mercer to absorb, he may not have been able to regenerate from that blast at all.... and Albert is punching 750x harder than it.

But that's just punching power. Mercer could still just assimilate Wesker, right?

Well, yes, he could. Hypothetically. If he could hit him.

Alex's best feat of speed is him processing the entire life story of the people he absorbs, putting his thought processes at 66% lightspeed.

Buuuuut, Wesker is even faster still. Enter Resident Evil: Dead Aim 2.

Morpheus, the game's final boss, is able to dodge shots from the Charged Particle Rifle, a gun that shoots... well.... charges molecular particles at you.

See that "based on particle accelerators" line? Accelerators can move particles at 99% light speed.

Since Wesker is empowered by a superior virus than Morpheus, he'd be even faster and stronger, putting him in the light speed ranges. As such, Wesker moves considerably faster than Mercer can think.

What this means is Alex likely will never get his hands on Wesker to absorb him in the first place. Wesker is such a show off that he takes the time to dramatically dodge bullets from handguns that pose no threat to him. He's not letting Mercer touch him. Once Wesker punches Mercer and sees him regenerate from the splattered salsa on the walls, he's gonna realize he's dealing with an unknown BOW. Given his experience against such foes, even as a normal human, he's unlikely to let it infect him without knowing how it'd react to his own virus and act accordingly. Smug as he is, Wesker is smart enough not to fuck around with unknown bioweapons.

All that is, of course, assuming Mercer could infect him anyways. Given Blacklight's ability to infect even inorganic buildings, it's likely its properties go deeper than just cells, possibly extending down to molecules. But, Wesker can likely deal with that too, as the Charged Particle Rifle can break down molecules (see scan above) and inferior BOWs to Wesker can survive shots from it. So he might not even be able to absorb Wesker in the first place for the same reason he couldn't absorb Cole MacGrath back when I did that matchup. So, even if Alex was faster, it likely wouldn't matter.

Wouldn't Alex have superior skill and experience?

Yes, he would. I'm not gonna take that from him. While the question of who is scientifically smarter is debatable, Mercer has absorbed the experiences of countless soldiers and marines, giving him an exponential advantage on Wesker. However....

1. The gap isn't insurmountable. The entire reason why STARS was able to survive the first few games was because they're simply the best of the best in commando ops, with their achievements immediately getting them promoted to high ranking international positions in all the sequels. Wesker was skilled enough to survive those events as an ordinary human as well as be a member of STARS. So the skill gap is there, but it's not insurmountable.

2. Wesker can move faster than Alex can think, making it a moot point regardless.

Are you suggesting normal human Chris Redfield can beat someone who survives nukes?

Yes. Leon Kennedy can suplex people so hard their heads explode. STARS is just built different.

This isn't even an unprecedented thing in PROTOTYPE either. Robert Cross was a regular human and he could fight Mercer head on too. Both of these verses have set a precedent of normal humans beating superhumans on equal footing. Fiction does that sometimes and it's best to just role with it.

Wasn't Wesker killed by two rocket launchers?

He was weakened by the anti serum at the time. In previous fights, similar rockets did little more than stun him. Also, those rockets can blow apart Tyrants, so it's not like dying to one is too unimpressive in any case.

You've used mainly PROTOTYPE 1 feats. Does PROTOTYPE 2 change anything?

No. The most noticeable feat from that game is when Heller spreads tendrils across the city, absorbing all the infected. That gets us 106 kilotons and Mach 7.87.

Still not touching Wesker.

I do enjoy the irony of the side games absolutely carrying the power scaling for Wesker here. Maybe if PROTOTYPE had 12 mid spin offs this would be a closer match. Ultimately, Wesker's familiarity with Mercer's precise type of threat and his stats advantage across the board means that he has every advantage he needs to keep Mercer down. Simply keep pummeling him into mulch until he stops getting back up, then takes his bits back for further study.

This Throwdown's Winner is....

Albert Wesker!

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF Shorts: Not Even Close!

A vs show where the longer analysis and set up is skipped in order to briefly explain why a certain fight is nowhere near close.

This Week's Fighters....

Xefros Tritoh vs Kris Dreemurr!

Note: Xefros as of Act 2, Kris as of Chapter 2.

I think this fight is a fairly open and shut case, so I'll be brief. This breakdown is less about this specific matchup and more about Hiveswap vs Deltarune as a whole.

The main cast of Deltarune as of Chapter 2 consistently showcase city busting feats. Examples include Lightners being able to create Dark Worlds, pocket realities that can contain entire cities, Spamton NEO being able to warp reality to turn the city in the background into bricks, and Noelle's Snowgrave attack creating a snowstorm, a feat that would require 15 Megatons of TNT.

Source:

On the speed side of things, the Heroes and their friends can consistently dodge electricity traveling through wires, which would be moving at 90% lightspeed.

While this scaling is more than sufficient enough to let Kris take down the likes of Homelander or Alex Mercer, it does not measure up to the power scaling behind Hiveswap.

Xefros, even without his rage amp, is tough enough to take hits from powerful gold bloods, who themselves are strong enough to push spaceships at near light speeds. Depending on the exact velocity, this would generate enough kinetic energy to either destroy all the Earth's continents or enough to obliterate a small planet. Easily billions of times more than anything any character Kris could be compared to has done.

Source:

Speed wise, Xefros conpares to Joey, who can react to seeing Dammek pass by her as she is launched to Alternia across interstellar distances in seconds. This feat, no matter how you look at it, would require Joey to react to an object traveling at exponentially faster than light speeds.

Source:

That might sound ridiculous, but the wider Homestuck universe makes this consistent. While I'd struggle to call Deltarune realistic and grounded, Homestuck runs on a sort of abstract video game logic that allows even ordinary humans to due absurd things. Such as a grown man stuffing his car into his wallet to take it with him to work or a teenage girl leveling up to become strong enough to lift a fridge over her head. Even common Sprites can cross interplanetary distances within seconds. Both verses run on and deconstruct video game logic, but Homestuck in general does so be exaggerating it to illogical degrees.

So, while the Player controlling Kris can reset the fight as many times as they want to try again, the insurmountable stat gap means they'd never get a run where they can win. A classic unwinnable boss fight svenario. Inevitably, they will give up to go do something else.

Of course, all of this only stands while both stories are still on their second chapter. Come back in ten years on the launch date of Chapter 3 and Act 3, and I may very well be telling you why the stomp now goes in the other direction. As it stands though, as these characters currently are, this fight is nowhere near close.

This Throwdown's Winner is....

Xefros Tritoh!

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF: Monthly Matchups!

This Month's Fighters...

Moxxie vs Millie!

Conditions:

Both are taken at their physical peaks as of Season 2.

Scenario:

In order to take his mind off of his current situation with Stolas during most of Season 2, Blitzo initiates an annual "training day", hoping that the senseless sparring and reckless violence will take his mind off things. Moxxie and Millie appreciate the chance to brush up on their fighting skills in preparation for their upcoming Sinsmas celebration.

Analysis: Moxxie

Every ring in Hell is its own special kind of rotten. The Greed Ring is no different.

Moxxie Knolastname is the son of the ruthless mob boss Crimson. He grew up in an abusive, broken home under the thumb of his father, who made sure he was a competent killer from an early age. When Moxxie's mother objected to this notion, Crimson had her drowned in a lake and forced the 8 year old Moxxie to throw another victim into the water with cement blocks tied around their legs, so that Moxxie could learn to never cross his old man.

Moxxie grew up to be yet another enforcer in Crimson's gang, but his luck would change after his deadbeat boyfriend Chaz abandoned him to the police during a botched job. In prison, he met Blitzo. The O is silent. The two arranged a prison break and started their own business together: the Immediate Murder Professionals. Professional... well... adequate assassins for hire who go up to the living world to inact the vengeful will of Hell's damned sinners. For the right price.

Moxxie tries to be the consummate professional of the group. But, in practice, he comes off more as a massive nerd. He's the heart of the group, playing the conscience to the cheerfully amoral Blitzo... usually. His specialization is in ranged weaponry, carrying a wide array of crossbows, pistols, tommy guns, and holy tipped sniper rifle he stole from Striker, capable of killing even the most powerful demons in Hell by destroying their soul.

Throughout his exploits with IMP, he's taken on foes such as the ruthless hitman Striker, the demon hunting agency of DHORKS, and the fallen cherubs of... well... CHERUB. Throughout it all, he's shown to be strong enough to tank an explosion that leveled a theme park, survive getting eaten alive by a shark, and is shown to be comparable to his boss Blitzo. The same Blitzo who decapitated Andrealphus's ice dragon, who created a massive snow fall during its battle with IMP.

Creating a snowfall of that size and magnitude would require an energy equivalent to 13.6 Megatons of TNT.

Moxxie has also shown to be comparable to Blitzo in speed, casually blocking bullets at close range and dodging sniper fire. Getting results as high as Mach 26 to do so.

Source:

It was while working with IMP that Moxxie got to establish a life for himself, independent of his scummy boyfriend and mob boss father. He'd meet the love of his life, Millie, as his coworker, forming an unstoppable assassin duo with his loving wife. And, he'd get a front row seat to watching Millie rip apart his shithead father's entire gang in some glorious, glorious vengeance. And now, with a baby on the way, his future couldn't be any brighter. Moxxie became his own kind of man on his own terms. Not having to live up to anyone's standards but his own. A life he could truly call his.

Analysis: Millie

If Moxxie was shaped by the cold business cruelty of the Greed ring, the Millie was shaped by the wild outback of Wrath.

Raised in the wild desert wastelands of Wrath, Millie comes from a much more loving household, raised by genuinely caring, if traditional, parents. They instilled in her the values of hard work and brutal murder, ensuring that she was one of the deadliest mercenaries in Wrath by the time she grew up. Sought out to join the team by Blitzo after he'd heard of her skills, Millie was immediately the most terrifying and brutal enforcer on the team.

Moxxie was smitten at first sight.

Millie is the close quarters combat expert of the group, wielding massive axes and swords bigger than her entire body. Or, in the event that she doesn't have any on hand, she'll rip you apart with her bare hands and use your spine to slaughter your friends. God help you if you piss her off or harm anyone she cares about, because her rage is vicious and she will not grant you a quick end.

The Wrath Ring has an annual event called the Pain Games, where the toughest contestants in Wrath compete in an obstacle course to see whose the toughest around. Millie has been banned for effortlessly slaughtering the competition every year.

Millie is simply just a beast. She slaughtered nearly the entirety of Crimson’s mafia singlehandedly, walked off getting her leg caught in a bear trap, butchered a giant fish monster from the inside out, and helped fight a giant ice dragon while suffering from pregnancy sickness.

Just like with Moxxie, working for IMP was the best thing that ever happened to Millie. Due to her traditions family upbringing and a lot of internalized biases, she always thought she didn’t deserve any better life than the one she had out in Wrath, acting as someone else's muscle. But, with this found family of quirky mercenaries, she's learned to aim higher. And now, she is living her best life, doing what she loves. Killing people alongside her husband!

So now lets make them fight!

Throwdown Breakdown:

....Moxxie didn't get one single vote when I announced this fight.

And as much as I love Moxxie... yeah, that's fair.

Now, in fairness, Moxxie is very much still in Millie's same league. A lot of their most impressive skill feats were performed side by side, as a team. Striker, DHORKS, the ice dragon, etc. Buuuuuuut, whenever the two are directly compared, Millie is treated as the stronger.

Moxxie gets captured by Crimson's gang? Millie slaughters them all to rescue them. Moxxie gets completely bodied trying to compete in the pain games, Millie is so good in them she isn't allowed to compete. So on. It doesn't help that specializing in guns is only half the battle when IMP regularly dodge bullets and Millie bodies in hand to hand.

Given who these characters are as people, a lot of factors that would otherwise come up in Moxxie's favor get canceled out. Moxxie isn't going to use holy bullets against his beloved wife and Millie isn't going to fly into a blind rage fighting her loving husband, so that advantage and that weakness don't apply here. It doesn't help that there's no way to pull a punch in a sparing match with bullets, which hampers Moxxie's options. Millie can chose not to rip your spine out, but a gun is a gun.

If their little playfight in Sinsmas means anything, it shows Moxxie would definitely get his licks in. But, ultimately, he's gonna get destroyed by his wife. Thankfully, that's exactly how he likes it~

This Throwdown's Winner is....

Millie!

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF: Crossover Competition

The show where we take two characters from different franchises and make them compete in something that ISN'T a fight to the death.

This Week's Competitors...

Agent 47 vs IMP!

Competition:

Agent 47 is tasked with assassinating all of the targets IMP is sent to the human world to deal with during Season 1 of Helluva Boss, while IMP is tasked with assassinating all of the story mission targets in Hitman 2016. Which side succeeds in fulfilling all their contracts?

Conditions:

Stats Equalized. Agent 47 is at the level of IMP, while IMP is at the level of 47, to keep any stat differences between universes negating the challenge.

Both characters are given the same mission briefing for each target that the other was canonically provided with, just from canonically appropriate sources (IMP getting the briefing from whatever sinner hired them while 47 gets his briefing from Diana, but the intel granted is the same)

Neither are allowed outside help (while IMP will still have Stolas's book to allow them to persue the contracts in the first place, Stolas himself cannot keep watch or bail them out. Similarly, 47 will not be supplied weapons by his ICA or black market contacts and will only be allowed the weapons it is shown he owns and keeps at home in Freelancer)

Agent 47 does not have any feats granted to him by easter eggs.

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF: Crossover Competition

The show where we take two characters from different franchises and make them compete in something that ISN'T a fight to the death.

This Week's Competitors...

Agent 47 vs I.M.P.

Competition:

Agent 47 is tasked with assassinating all of the targets IMP is sent to the human world to deal with during Season 1 of Helluva Boss, while IMP is tasked with assassinating all of the story mission targets in Hitman 2016. Which side succeeds in fulfilling all their contracts?

Conditions:

Stats Equalized. Agent 47 is at the level of IMP, while IMP is at the level of 47, to keep any stat differences between universes negating the challenge.

Both characters are given the same mission briefing for each target that the other was canonically provided with, just from canonically appropriate sources (IMP getting the briefing from whatever sinner hired them while 47 gets his briefing from Diana, but the intel granted is the same)

Neither are allowed outside help (while IMP will still have Stolas's book to allow them to persue the contracts in the first place, Stolas himself cannot keep watch or bail them out. Similarly, 47 will not be supplied weapons by his ICA or black market contacts and will only be allowed the weapons it is shown he owns and keeps at home in Freelancer)

Agent 47 does not have any feats granted to him by easter eggs.

Analysis: Agent 47

"Names are for friends, so I don't need one."

One day, the International Contract Agency found a mysterious man knocking on their front door. The man had no name, no history, and seemingly no personality. All he had was a remarkable gift for murder, as if he were the grim reaper himself. He said he went by 47. It wasn't a name, so he made it one. He became the ICA's greatest assassin and paved a legacy of death everywhere he went.

In truth, Agent 47 was a clone, created by Dr. Ortmyer in an attempt to create the world's greatest assassin. Unfortunately for Ortmyer, he succeeded. 47 killed his pseudo father, and struck out on his own. Left directionless by the revelation of his birth, 47 attempted to start a normal life for himself. Unfortunately, he found that his only talents were in killing people. So, he decided to he was going to be the best there ever was at it. He would kill the most powerful people in the world for the right price and prove that no one, no matter how powerful, was above consequences.

Agent 47 is a master of stealth and disguise unlike any other. He's considered a myth to law enforcement agencies all around the world and has repeatedly killed people with the same level of mythic status as himself. Those who do know he exists would much rather hire him than make him their enemy. A smart move considering he tears down international conspiracies on a weekly basis.

Agent 47 is quiet the Renaissance Man, even rivaling Mario for the title. He's more than capable of doing nearly any job on the planet and is capable of using anything as a weapon. He can knock grown, fully armoured men out cold with snowballs and feather dusters. He can kill people with umbrellas, pencils, and pens. He can even use fire extinguishers as improvised grenades. An Agent 47 armed with only his garrote wire, silver baller pistol, and coins is best considered fully armed and dangerous, but he's capable of using much more. When even his standard, silenced Silverballer pistols are strong enough to kill elephants in one shot, you know he's a walking armory. Shotguns, SMGs, sniper rifles, and more. If 47 doesn't have them at home, he can buy them off of his arms dealers. And that's not even counting his truly ridiculous weapons, such as a briefcase that homes in on anyone he throws it at and goes through anything in its path, a variety of grenades and explosives disguised as rubber ducks, toys, or golf balls, and a whole host poisons he can inject, spray, or poison your drink with, ranging from emetic rat poison to make you vomit, sleeping drugs to knock you out cold, or traditional poisons that can enduce heart attacks or shut down your brain. Whether he's bringing it from home, finding it on sight, or making his weapons out of whatever he's found lying around, 47 always has countless weapons close to hand and he can kill you in at least five different ways with each.

Similarly, 47 is smart enough to competently perform any job on Earth, even frequently imitating and impressing experts in his field. Butlers, Doctors, DJs, CEOs, Engineers, and so on and so forth. He has successfully disguised himself as close loved ones of his targets and is fluent enough in most languages to pass himself off as a native speaker. This vast array of knowledge allows him to improvise countless ways to kill his targets. From drowning you in a toilet, tricking your bodyguards into killing you, manipulating your wife into pushing you off a bridge, driving you to grief stricken suicide, or even running you over with a goddamn train, if there's a way to kill someone, he's thought of it and performed it with no one any the wiser.

On top of his superhuman intellect, 47 is superhuman physically as well. He can survive exposure to the freezing cold temperatures of the Carpathian mountains while mostly naked, is immune to nearly every poison and disease known to man (baring few exceptions) has survived being electrocuted while standing in water (albiet was knocked out by this) and has a resistance to mind control so great that the person trying to mind control him died from the sheer backlash. It has even been noted by an implied psychic (who was clairvoyant enough to deduce a client's criminal history) that 47 has an aura of death looming around him that strikes terror into anyone capable of seeing it. And since 47 doesn't physically age, he will never grow out of his prime. As such, he's still kicking ass well into 59, easily outperforming men half his age.

Agent 47 also has the Instinct ability, a sixth sense that allows him to see through walls and can predict where his targets are going. However, he cannot use this ability in open combat.

47 has snuck into the White House undetected, frequently dismantles international conspiracies and secret societies, and is strong and skilled enough to defeat a middleweight MMA World Champion in only three blows. He even bested Sanchez, a genetically engineered superhuman who was twice his size, in unarmed combat.

If 47 has any weaknesses at all, it's that he rarely makes an emotional connections with anyone. The trauma of his ruthless upbringing has left him emotionally distant and he struggles to emotionally connect with others. Those he does care about he will do anything to protect, even against suicidal odds. Similarly, he has repressed many of the memories of his childhood, partly due to trauma and partly due to mindwiping drugs, and he frequently questions his place in the universe due to his upbringing. 47 doesn't think he's capable of committing to any line of work that doesn't involve murder, without hurting the few people he holds dear.

Agent 47 was an attempt to create the world's greatest assassin and he was a complete success. Unfortunately for his creators, he was still human. This meant that they were the first in a long list of people to discover just how well they'd succeeded.

Analysis: The Immediate Murder Professionals

It is remarkably easy to go to hell.

Cheat on your wife? Hell. Kill your husband for cheating on you? Hell. Build miraculous futuristic technologies by experimenting on the poor? Straight to hell! It's hardly fair! No wonder hell is suffering from an overpopulation crisis, it's so easy to get stuck there! And the worst part is, you don't get to enact brutal revenge on those who wronged you in life! What's a forsaken soul to do?

Call the Immediate Murder Professionals!

Some of the finest... well... deadliest... no... some of the luckiest imps in hell have gained special access to the human world, and they're using that incredible power to kill whatever puny earthlings you get around to in life. Thanks to their... "business arrangement" with the demon prince Stolas Goetia, these professional killers have special access to the grimoire of the Ars Goetia, permitting them to create portals anywhere in the human world.

They're lead by Blitzo. The O is silent. Once a simple circus performer whose life was destroyed in a fire that killed his family, scarred him for life, and destroyed his relationship with his best friend, he now runs one of hell's most unique up and coming businesses. Despite being a loud, vulgar, abrasive wind bag, he's a deadly proficient killer and assassin. A master acrobat with a flair for the dramatic, he's never caught without a flintlock, a semiautomatic, and a sniper rifle. And he's the one who arranged the business deal with his.... partner Stolas.

It's a transactional fucking, he swears.

But despite his numerous flaws, he's a loving father to his beloved hellhound daughter Loona.

Moxie Knolastname was once an enforcer for his abusive father's mafia family, joining up with Blitzo in prison after a job gone wrong and... begrudgingly... respecting him for being a truly loving father and, on occasion, a good friend. The greatest marksman on the team, this well read thespian and historian is just as deadly an assassin as any of his teammates.

With him, he brings his loving wife Millie, arguably the single most bloodthirsty imp this side of the ring of wrath. Armed with a short temper and a massive battle axe, she can cleave targets in half by the hundreds and will happily slaughter an army to reunite with her dear husband.

Together, this scrappy rag tag team is capable of taking down any target you hire them for, from a family of cannibalistic serial killers to an entire building of demon hunters. Despite their lack of magical glamours, they're still masters of practical disguises, able to easily blend in to the human world and take any identity they might need, even disguising as world famous celebrities. They carry every kind of weapon they might need, from pistols to sniper rifles, battle axes to swords, crossbows, grenades, and even a big, fuck off rocket launcher nearly the size of a building.

But their deadliest weapon of all would have to be their holy tipped gun. As an ordinary gun enhanced with the melted down weapons of angels, these fire arms are powerful and deadly enough to even kill demon royalty, nullifying their powers and destroying their souls completely.

As demons from hell, they're far more resilient than any ordinary human. They've regularly shrugged off being shot, stabbed, blown up, and crushed. They can drink demonic alcohol with no ill effects, which can transform earth animals into monsterous sea beasts, and Blitzo in particular can even beat out Queen Beelzebub, Queen of Gluttony herself, in a drinking contest. They're completely immune to Earth fire and can even tank an explosion that destroyed all of Loo Loo Land.

Millie was singlehandedly capable of slaughtering the Knolastname mob family, they've massacred their way through the demon hunting D.H.O.R.K.S., defeated Striker, one of the deadliest assassins in the entirety of the wrath ring, and even managed to kill a target who was protected by the angels of heaven. The team can consistently dodge arrows, bullets, and even automatic fire, and can keep up with the Robotic Fizzarolli in combat, who can dodge Blitzo's guns at close range.

But despite all of their on paper impressive feats, they are still held back by some massive glaring flaws. As imps, they're some of the lowest ranking demons in hell's hierarchy, having none of the special powers of royal or sinner demons. They're just as mortal as regular humans. But Blitzo in particular can sometimes by the tean's biggest liability. He blames himself for the fire that destroyed his life, and has developed a repugnant personality that pushes away the people closest to him because that's what he believes he deserves. He refuses to acknowledge his deeper feelings for Stolas because he can't comprehend someone genuinely loving him back and his inappropriate behavior can at times put strain on his team's coordination.

Despite that, I.M.P can simultaneously be some of the luckiest demons in hell. So lucky that Blitzo was once able to trick an entire room full of gangsters into killing each other by tipping over a box. They've even recently gained an ally in Asmodeus, the King of Lust himself, via Blitzo repairing his old relationship with his long lost childhood friend Fizzarolli.

Life in hell might shit all over them, but they'll never be down for long. So if you're a sinner with a score to settle, hire the Immediate Murder Professionals! Kids die for freeeeee~

Throwdown Theme:

Competition Breakdown:

Agent 47's Section

Murder Family

The target, "Mama" Martha, is launched into stardom and hailed as a hero after she cheats on her husband with a married man and survives the impromptu murder suicide that occurs when the wife gets home. The grieving family of the deceased Mrs. Mayberry hire 47 to get revenge on the woman they blame for ruining her perfect life.

As per the rules, Agent 47 will not know ahead of time that he's dealing with a family of cannibalistic satanists, but I honestly doubt he'd be thrown by such a revelation. 47 is very used to his targets being comically terrible people and his reaction to being confronted by serial killers is to bluntly tell them he's not impressed and that he's seen worse. He'd probably just go:

If he even reacts at all. The dude is hilariously unflappable. He'd honestly kinda fit in on the Hazbinverse's comically terrible Earth.

As for the Murder Family themselves, I don't see 47 having much trouble. By Hazbinverse standards, they're just ordinary humans. While they are skilled enough to put IMP on the backfoot, it's very out of character for 47 to directly confront them in open combat. Especially when Martha's the one he's here to kill. 47's biggest issue is he refuses to hurt children, so he'd likely avoid a direct confrontation. Likely by hiding in the closet until the family goes to bed and smothering Martha in her sleep with a pillow, which he's been known to do before. 47 clears pretty easily here.

Spring Broken:

This is an interesting one. The premise of this episode is that Blitzo is competing with his ex to kill more targets than she can fuck in a day by taking thousands of contracts at once with all the targets being in the same spring break crowd.

To set this up on 47's side. 47 in character is not going to get in a competitive dick measuring contest with a succubus he doesn't know. In fact, his reaction in that scenario would be "wait, demons are real?"

This is the man who reacted to meeting the actual Santa Claus by bludgeoning him unconscious, stealing his clothes, and stealing his sleigh to escape the crime scene. He's not phased by damn near anything.

In character, 47 would imbark on this kind of challenge... because he can. 47 canonically loves to test his skills with complicated, over the top kills that he somehow pulls off undetected. Taking thousands of contracts whose targets are all attending the same spring break party would be completely in character for him if he's bored and in the mood to flex a bit.

But that set up removes any prior knowledge of Verosika, who is hosting the party in her human disguise. This creates a problem, as during the party, Verosika carelessly tosses a demonic alcoholic drink into the ocean, transforming a passing fish into a giant sea monster that IMP must then take down. With no prior inclination that this is something that could happen, how does 47 fair?

Well, hilariously, I think his in character approach would side step this in a very practical way. 47 would likely drug the party's alcohol with sleeping drugs to knock out everyone at the party, inadvertently KO'ing Verosika before she can create the ocean monster. This leaves Verosika's bodyguard, Tex, left to deal with, as he's too professional and responsible to be caught drinking on the job. But 47 could just follow up by shooting him in the neck with a sleeping dart. Demons have been effected by Earth sleeping drugs before and 47's can knock out hippos in seconds, so that should still bring down the Hellhound.

After that, 47 can kill his targets at his leisure, leaving Verosika to wake up hours later surrounded by a lot of conspicuously dead party goers and no clue that 47 was ever there.

C.H.E.R.U.B.

Lyle Lipton is a corrupt inventor who experiments on the poor to create advanced technology for the world's three trillionaires. That isn't too outside 47's wheelhouse. The issue is CHERUB, angels from heaven who arrive to talk Lyle out of suicide.

Thing is... 47 is Christian. He donates to Christian charities and orphanages to settle his conscience and he genuinely struggles with whether a clone like him has a soul. The second game has him adopted by a Christian pastor and try and retire under his care. Would 47 kill someone who is under the protection of angels?

The thing is the context. For one, 47 ultimately concludes at the end of that game that his nature as an assassin will always win out over his faith and returning to his life of crime. While he still values those close to him, 47 continues being an assassin because he thinks that's all he's capable of being.

Ultimately, if 47's faith didn't protect Saint Nick himself, it wouldn't protect Lyle. He'd just go...

In character, I think 47 would just wait for CHERUB to finish talking Lyle out of suicide. Either they fail and 47 succeeds, or they succeed and leave, at which point 47 snipes Lyle through his bedroom window. Without CHERUB involved, Lyle's just a sick old billionaire and 47's killed plenty of those.

I won't be covering DHORKS. IMP weren't hired to go after them, they got kidnapped by them. DHORKS are demon hunters who'd have no reason to go after 47 if they even know he exists. He's outside their jurisdiction.

IMP's section

The Showstopper

Viktor Novikov and Dalia Margolis are the biggest fashion icons in the world and the heads of an international blackmail operation called Iago. IMP is hired by one their indirect victims after they're killed by a terrorist group that Iago sold their location out to.

This presents an immediate problem: IMP doesn't speak French. Well... maybe.

They've never taken a contract outside of America before and there's no indication that demons automatically understand every language in this universe. (For example, we know for a fact that Fizzarolli can't speak Italian, because Crimson is insulted by his mangled attempt to do so.) At least, not Imps or Hellhounds, who aren't supposed to go to the mortal world in the first place and thus usually wouldn't have any reason to learn these languages.

But, there is a caveat there. IMP does regularly interact with Sinners from Earth, who can come from everywhere on Earth. It just hasn't come up because we've never seen them operate outside of America yet. And we also know full well that Imps can learn second languages, as Fizzarolli can speak ASL and Crimson can understand Italian. It's something that would likely come up in IMP's job, so I'll consider the possibility here for the sake of argument.

While IMP can use convincing human disguises, they can't get into the party without an invite and, without 47's ICA connections, cannot forge an ID to get one like he did. But that can be subverted by just hoping over the bushes. Due to security being widly split between both the fashion show and the Iago meeting upstairs, I can see IMP climbing up the side if the building and breaking into the Iago meeting via the balcony.

There, they'd burst into the Iago meeting and gun down everyone in the room, including Dalia.

This is where the whole "Stats Equalized" thing comes into play. IMP are bullet dodgers in their universe. 47 is not. And IMP are Equalized to 47's level. Does this mean they're screwed whenever they start a big gun fight like this?

I'd say no. For one, IMP is tough enough to shrug off wounds like stabs and gunshots to nonvital areas. Imps in general are. But mainly, they have a massive leg up in skill compared to 47 and most of his opposition. IMP are one man armies who should still be more than capable of aim dodging their way through gun fights in the Hitman universe. Especially due to their superhuman agility that the soldiers of the Hitman universe would have little experience dealing with.

Viktor would be informed of the massacre and taken to the saferoom immediately, as IMP aren't particularly known for being quiet. As such, IMP will have to shoot their way down to the basement to get to him. The team's specialties should make this fairly easy though. The supporting fire provided by Moxxie and Blitzo as they bounce around off the walls will keep the heat off Millie and (if she's allowed to come along by Blitzo) Loona as they charge down and maul everyone. Millie alone has singlehandedly carved her way out of the guts of a giant sea monster, so bodyguards with standard issue fire arms won't pose to much trouble. Especially if they try snd shoot her down, they leave themselves open to being sniped by Blitzo and Moxxie.

Combine all that with their supernatural luck and Viktor's a dead man. Worst case scenario and IMP starts getting overwhelmed, they can pull out the giant rocket launcher and bring the whole building down on his head. IMP can and has escaped such things. Viktor has not.

World of Tomorrow

Silvio Caruso and Francesca De Santis are two brilliant scientists working on a bio-weapon that can specifically target certain people based on their DNA. It's a virus with no symptoms that travels harmlessly through targets until it infects and kills the one person it is programmed to. The ultimate assassin.

Viewing this as a threat to his business, Blitzo decides to gather the team to assassinate both scientists and destroy the virus.

Seeing how the team is this time in Sapienza, Italy, I'll be taking into account the potential language barrier again. As far as eliminating the targets goes, I can see IMP not needing to go loud at all. Sapienze provides plenty of sniping vantage spots to eliminate both targets from the other side of the city and Blitzo has proven to be a crack shot with his sniper rifle. The virus itself is a bit more tricky, as it's secure in the underground lab beneath Caruso's mansion. But there is still a stealthy solution there.

The underground lab connects to a dock that is opposite a small island. Use the Ars Goetia to portal over to that island or one of the boats and snipe the stalagmite overtop the virus's containment unit. Done. IMP is capable of being stealthy when they want to be. They just don't always want to be. Depends on what's more convenient for them at the moment.

Of course, they're not gonna care if anyone finds the bodies and that'll put them on the radar of Providence, the secret society bsnkrolling Caruso's experiment. This will be an issue for them in the next hit.

A Guilded Cage

Banker Claus Hugo Strandberg and General Reza Zaydan are co-conspiring a plan to turn the country of Morocco into a military state. After Hugo stole millions from the Moroccan people, he had his envoy break him out of jail in a violent coup, inspiring outraged riots and protests around the country. Zaydan plans to escalate these riots and use them as an excuse to enact martial law and overthrow the government. A wrench is thrown into the works when one of the security guards killed during Strandberg's escape is sent to hell and hires IMP to get revenge.

Strandberg is easy. He's held up in a news station that was turned into an impromptu fortress to protect himself from the angry mobs outside. All IMP needs to do is spark those riots into an open conflict. Blitzo has used his superhuman luck to spark large brawls under far less favorable circumstances and all he'd have to do here is shoot a guard from inside the crowd. Most of Strandberg's security will be distracted by the mob while a small portion stays to escort him to safety. This gives IMP the opportunity to burst into the building and shoot down everyone they see, including Strandberg, then get out in the chaos.

This will give Zaydan the opportunity to launch the second part of his plan, ordering his men to "secure" the city while he sits around comfortably in his military base. Zaydan earned his place through nepotism and ass kissing, so he'd never risk himself in active combat. This makes things... very difficult for IMP.

IMP has only fought one group with a level of skill comparable to an actual genuine army of a country. The demon hunting D.H.O.R.K.S. And they did as well as they did partially because D.H.O.R.K.S refused to use modern weapons like guns except as a last resort. Even then, IMP eventually had to be bailed out by Stolas. This is especially possible here, as Zaydan's forces will likely be buffed up by his backers in Providence after what happened to Caruso.

However, IMP can play this smart by letting the military stay distracted by the rioting crowds, but getting to Zaydan is going to be much trickier now. Zaydan will likely be managing the occupation from his office in the old school he turned into his base. This should allow IMP to pull out the really big rocket launcher and blow up his office from the roof of the building across the block, then portal out before the military can retaliate. It's tricky, but if IMP plays their cards right, they should take this one.

Club 27

After indie rock sensation Jordan Cross murders his girlfriend Hannah Highmoore in a fit of drunken rage, his corrupt lawyer, Ken Morgan gets him acquitted of all charges. Ms. Highmoore hires IMP in Hell to get revenge.

Yeah, IMP clean sweeps this one pretty handily. This one takes place in a massive hotel in Bangkok. Ken is freely roaming around the premises with exactly one bodyguard. While Jordan's presence has greatly increased security due to his rich Providence member father, there's only so much they can do to lock down such a public area. Especially as Providence's last two run ins with IMP involved them messing up their grander plans, not going after their family members, so they wouldn't be expecting it.

IMP could shoot their way through the whole hotel and still pull this off honestly.

Freedom Fighters

Here we go. The big one.

Lucas Grey, one of 47's fellow clones, has been stagging a secret war on his creators in Providence from his secret base in Colorado. He's hired lieutenants from all over the globe and turned some the most dangerous terrorists in the world to his side. These include explosives expert Sean Rose, former anti-terror analyst Penelope Graves, psychological torture expert Ezra Berg, and professional freedom fighter Maya Parvati.

One of Grey's officers tries to betray him to Providence and Grey kills him, sending him to hell. The officer decides to get his revenge by hiring IMP to dismantle his operation and kill his four main lieutenants listed above.

I'm gonna be honest, IMP can't fight their way through this one. Not with stats equalized anyways.

These are some of the very best that the Hitman universe can offer. The most dreaded terrorists from all over the globe trained to perfection by Lucas Grey. One of the only people in the world who can fight 47 head on and win. One of the only assassins to sneak up on Agent 47 himself. Frankly in a stats equalized fight, Grey one on ones any of IMP. They're not fighting through a whole army of people trained by him.

This small farm has been converted into a military base and everyone on site is armed to the teeth. So what's IMP to do?

Disguises. This is the only level thus far where everyone is canonically speaking and can perfectly understand English. Other than arguably Club 27. IMP can sell themselves as the assassins who took out Caruso and Strandberg looking for more work. While IMP likely won't know what Providence is by this point, the Freedom Fighters will still be very interested in working with the people who unknowingly stopped their plans in Morocco and Italy.

This won't likely earn them an audience with Grey himself though. Grey despises most of the terrorists he works with, viewing them as strictly a means to an end, and IMPs tendency towards collateral would put them at the top of his "dispose of as soon as convenient" list. He'd also be suspicious as to why he hadn't heard of them until recently and keep them at arms reach overall. Which is fine, as he's not on their list anyways.

Honestly, given IMP's complete lack of history in this world up to this point (baring prior kills from their own series), Grey might think they're more clones like himself and 47. I don't know if that'd improve his opinion of them or worsen it, but it would be hilarious.

From there, it's as simple as "wait to get invited to next strategy meeting and blow everyone away" before immediately portaling out before everyone 8n the building comes to kill them. Grey's operation continues mostly unharmed, as he planned to eliminate those four lieutenants anyways, but he's left very confused and concerned as to how the fuck IMP managed to disappear on him like that.

Situs Invertus

Alright, last stop.

Erich Soders is a former International Contracts Agency member who sold out his organization to Providence so they'd bankroll a life saving medical operation in Hokkaido, Japan. Yakuza lawyer Yuki Yamazaki is tasked to oversee the transaction. One of Soders's old victims sees this as an opportunity to get revenge and hires IMP to kill them both, with Yuki as collateral damage to punish Providence for trying to save his life.

Right away, loud is the only option here. The hospital is run by an AI and operates off of mechanical doors that scan for keycards in a patient or staff member's clothes. 47 got around by pretending to be a patient, but thst won't work for IMP because... well... demons. So, blow it all up it is.

That aside, IMP cakewalks this. Security is gonna prioritize escorting the patients away from the gunfight, which won't be an option for Soders mid-operation, so nothing stops IMP from going straight for him and Yuki. What's worse is the only way off the mountain is by cable car, so if Yuki nearly escapes, IMP can just shoot the car down. Clean sweep.

Conclusion:

So, both sides, more often than not, clear both rounds. I find it amusing that 47 didn't even need his wackier gadgets to get past the supernatural stuff of Helluva Boss. He could get through his targets with very mundane solutions. And I also appreciate IMP inadvertently smashing apart all the careful conspiracies of the Hitman-verse like the wrecking ball of death they are. Ironically, they struggled a lot more with completing Hitman's contracts that 47 did completing theirs, despite the more grounded tone.

Drspite the two series polar opposite tones and settings, this would be a fun crossover. I'd definitely read IMP going through all these assassinations.

This Throwdown is a Draw!

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF Shorts: Not Even Close!

This Week's Fighters....

Ant Tenna vs Vox!

The two TV show hosts who are also sentient TVs. While the characters share aesthetically similar designs, they have effectively nothing else in common, with Vox being the slick, soulless new flat screen riding the high of being the hot new thing to Tenna being the old and retro boxy CRT terrified of being left behind. Rest assured, the gap in their scaling is just as divergent. Just like the modern junk he represents, Vox just isn't built to last.

Stats

Let's start with scaling. Vox's best speed feats come from him being able to travel through electricity wires to travel through electronics. In real life, electricity travels through wires at 90% the speed of light, which gives us a good baseline for Vox's speed. His best onscreen showing of power, however, comes from when he caused a black out across an entire city, which would require energy equivalent to 207 Gigatons of TNT at a maximum.

Source:

As impressive as that is, however, it isn't even with a stone's throw of Tenna.

See, Tenna's board games are physically existent pocket realities. Not only can numerous characters physically enter and interact with the world inside of these realms, but characters within these worlds (IE. Mini Kris) can leave and interact with the real world as well. Even the weather within these realms can be altered, further proving their physical reality and indicating they have their own Suns.

Creating a pocket reality with a star like that would require energy equivalent to 8.14 Foe.

Source:

This gets even more notable when considering he can fight all three of the Delta Warriors simultaneously. Hell, he can completely shut them down and keep them from truly fighting if he so wishes. That's remarkably impressive considering Kris creating his Dark World in the first place. A pocket reality that itself contains a starry sky. A feat like that requires energy that could annihilate solar systems.

Source:

Basically, one can nuke a country, the other can nuke stars. Not a contest.

Overlords scaling to Stolas

Basically, series creator Vivziepop was asked in a live stream charity about who would win between Stolas and Alastor. Vivziepop replied that she wasn't sure and hesitantly put her money on Stolas. A lot of people have used this statement to claim that Overlords and Royal Demons are roughly comparable to each other.

Given that Stolas is himself powerful enough to create pocket realities with several stars inside of them, this should put Vox in Tenna's league, right?

Well, no. For three reasons.

1. Vox is not Alastor. The second Vox hears that Alastor is back, he panics and immediately tries to reaffirm his position over Alastor, all while Alastor completely dismisses him as a threat and effortlessly beats him at his own game. Vox's best on screen feat is literally him rage quitting over not being able to pull one over on Alastor. The two aren't really comparable.

2. Alastor was still stated to lose against Stolas.

3. This statement is five years old. Both Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss hadn't even come out yet. Both were just pilots at the time and those pilots are soft canon at best. Given that no Overlord, Alastor included, has done anything approaching Stolas's showings, it's ambiguous at best as to whether this statement applies to the characters in the actual shows.

Speed is just as much a wash. Given that it only took a few seconds for the astronomically sized Dark World to form after Kris created it, their energy would have to be moving at Massively Faster Than Light speeds. Easily trumping Vox.

If you want to make an argument that Dark World feats don't count because they "aren't real", I'd point out that breaks the matchup completely because Tenna can only exist in Dark Worlds. More importantly, if Dark World stuff can break Berdly's arm or render him comatose, then it's real enough to fight Vox.

Powers

Tenna is a full on reality warper. He can seal you inside of plastic prisons, teleport you into different mini games and tv shows, and leave you incapable of doing anything but what ACTs he gives you under the ACT command. Dude can literally just say "It's in Vox's contract that he can't fight me" and Vox can't do shit anymore.

Vox only displays half that variety when traveling through different TV channels while possessing a TV. So Tenna can just teleport him to a minigame that takes place in the Old West or something to completely shut down that option. While Vox could hypothetically possess Tenna himself since he us literally a TV, Vox has never used his ability in that way and he's too slow to land it in any case.

Since Vox is a Sinner demon, he can only be killed if his soul is destroyed. Luckily, literally every attack in Deltarune directly targets the soul, so no problem.

Vox's only winning move is his hypnosis, as he can control minds with eye contact. But, even then, Tenna can just take away his ACT options to prevent him from doing that. Especially as Vox is so much slower. 90% lightspeed vs millions of times faster than light.

To lay it all out, despite being the slick newer model, Vox lacks the sheer bulky stats that Tenna has as a CRT. He's vastly outhaxed, out statted, and left completely helpless against an opponent who can just decide "this is the show where Tenna kicks your ass. You win when I kick your ass."

Curb stomps are a spectrum. Vader vs Vader is a "fair if stats equal" stomp where Tenna vs Vox is a "no chance in hell" stomp. Tenna puts Vox in a gameshow and forces him to choose how he gets his ass beat.

This Throwdown's Winner is....

Mr. Ant Tenna!

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF Calculations: Kamsky destroys a big metal bridge

Feat Source: (2:51:30 - 2:51:36)

The final boss of 2005 horror game Cold Fear, a mad scientist named Kamsky, destroys a giant metal bridge before he fights you.

I'll be using our protagonist, Tom Hansen, as a ruler to determine how big the bridge was using this screenshot.

Tom has no canon proportions, so I'll be using the proportions of the average American adult. This would give him a height of 1.77 meters and a width of 1.02108 meters. His height is 58 pixels while his width is 20 pixels. The bridge has a length of 70 pixels, a width of 249 pixels, and a height of 24 pixels. This gives the bridge a height of 73 centimeters, a a length of 213.6206897 centimeters, and a width of 1271.2446 centimeters, giving us a total volume of 19889732.79 centimeters. Whaling ships are typically made of mostly iron, so I'll use that. The bridge fragments into large chunks so that's 20 j/cc x 19889732.79 centimeters.

That gets us an end result of 397,794,655.8 joules or 397,700 kilojoules (Small Building Level)

Tom Hansen would scale, as he kills Kamsky in the boss fight afterwards.

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF: Boss Battle

The show where we put a team of characters up against one much stronger and/or haxier character.

This Week's Boss Fight...

BOSS: Karkat Vantas

Team: The Seven

Homelander

Queen Maeve

Black Noir

Supersonic

A-Train

Starlight

The Deep

Scenario:

After a massive meteor crashes headlong into the middle of Manhattan, The Seven is called in to perform damage control and generate positive PR. Karkat stumbles from wreckage, causing the crowd to panic and mistake him for an alien invader, prompting Homelander to attack him.

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF: Boss Battle

The show where we put a team of characters up against one much stronger or haxier character.

This Week's Boss Battle...

BOSS: Karkat Vantas

Team: The Seven

Homelander

Queen Maeve

Black Noir

A-Train

Starlight

The Deep

Scenario:

After a massive meteor crashes headlong into the middle of Manhattan, The Seven is called in to perform damage control and generate positive PR. Karkat stumbles from wreckage, causing the crowd to panic and mistake him for an alien invader, prompting Homelander to attack him.

BOSS Analysis: Karkat Vantas

Ask yourself one very important question. A question that has plagued nearly all of mankind since its very inception. What does God, our omnipotent creator, look like?

Stop thinking, because you're wrong. Our God is just an internet troll from another universe who wears a massive sweater, pulls his pants up to his chest, and has a love for dumb rom coms.

Meet Karkat Vantas, a mutant blooded alien troll from the distant planet of Alternia. Born as a mutant with bright red blood, Karkat had no place in Alternia's dystopic blood-based caste system and, as such, his very existence was a crime punishable by death. As such, Karkat has lived his entire life in constant fear and paranoia that one day his blood would be discovered and he would be killed. Growing up as a born outlaw in a murderous dystopia did not do well for Karkat's psyche, resulting in him growing up into an abrasive asshole who was fully convinced he would die at any moment.

Little did he know until his 13th birthday (or 6.5th birthday going off Alternia's time measurement system), he had inherited a destiny, regarding both the future of his race and the future of his very universe.

See, Karkat wasn't any mutant. He was a direct descendant of the Signless. A troll who, many centuries ago, had rebelled in the name of trolls of every caste, seeking to bring peace to the horrific, bloodthirsty dystopia. He was executed for his efforts, but not before his genetic information was copied.... by Karkat himself. Technically.

Karkat's other destiny was his destiny as a SBURB Player. He and all his friends were destined to play a video game called SGRUB, which would bring about the end of their world. The game, if played right, would allow Karkat and friends to become the gods of the new world, but in order for that to happen at all, the game had to allow Karkat to ensure his own existence through time traveling clone science fuckery. It's complicated.

This gave Karkat a golden opportunity to both escape his horrible situation and rule as the leader of a pantheon of gods over his own personal universe. Namely, our universe. He kindly assures us that it would've been a horrific and brutal regime, but it never really got off the ground, as Karkat's victory was stolen from him at the last second by an invincible time demon and Karkat would up having to work with the humans he had intended to enslave for the sake of survival.

This is because Karkat is not even half the conquer he wants to be. He isn't even really the leader of his team. Despite all his bluster of being a God born from a superior warrior race, Karkat is a loud mouthed weakling when measured up to nearly anyone else on his team. He has no special powers, he's physically the weakest out of everyone, and he isn't even an actual God.

What Karkat does have... is heart. Much to his chagrin, Karkat's special power is basically friendship. As a Blood Player, Karkat is supernaturally predisposed to being really good at making friends and maintaining friendships... which turned out to be the very thing he needed to succeed as well as he did.

See, all of Karkat's friends have a very deep, bloody history. As in, "these people are personally responsible for the most traumatic and horrifying events in my life. Events that shape who I am as a person to this day" deep. They've killed each other before and they would again. However, thanks to Karkat's influence, they're able to not only work together but actually almost get along. Karkat had a genocidal highblood supremacist counting him as one of his best friends, that's how potent this guy's friendship power inexplicably is.

A lot of this can be chalked up to the Blood Aspect, sure, but a lot of it can also be chalked up to who Karkat is under all the paranoia and anger. He gets people, he understands their character flaws, their failings, their fears, and he sympathizes with them. He gets, probably better than anyone else, that everyone around him is effectively a terrified kid with boatloads of trauma. That's the real reason he could never by the bloodthirsty tyrant he dreamed of. It's not who he is, at his foundation. It just took a long time and a lot of bonding with the humans he supposedly despised for him to realize that.

That said, Karkat is only physically unimpressive by the standards of the literal gods that surround him. He's still a SBURB Player and he still grew up on an inhospitable hell planet. As such, he is much stronger than your ordinary human.

Notably, he should powerscale to the same kind of meteor trip that Rose survived, as all SBURB Players arrive on their home planets this way and all the Players are capable of surviving their meteor trips. Unless you want to suggest that Rose is thousands of time stronger than Karkat as an infant, Karkat should be roughly comparable, making him capable of surviving an impact worth 567 tons of TNT.

Source:

From this point, Karkat has been getting stronger all of his life. Everyone and everything in Homestuck has an Echeladder, a video game style leveling system that continues to make them stronger as they accomplish random things throughout their life, ranging from opening a fridge to winning a fight. Not only that, but several SBURB Players, Karkat included, have demonstrated the ability to move faster than the human eye can track, which can at most see 60 frames per second. This means they'd have to be moving at an average of about 18 m/s.

Source:

On top of this, Karkat is certainly a much more skilled fighter than your average human being. His team was able to take in the armies of the Kingdom of Derse, which has been warring with its opposite Kingdom of Prospite for as long as its home reality has existed. Despite that, Karkat found himself being flat out disappointed by how easy they were to fight against, with only the King proving to be enough of a challenge to rally the whole team.

As with all Homestuck characters, Karkat also has a sylladex, a hammerspace inventory system where he can store objects much too big to carry on his person, allowing him to pull out his handy twin sickles whenever he needs them. Really, the fact that most of his friends can knock him out cold with a love tap says more about them than it does about him.

Despite that though, Karkat is still not a fighter and he possesses bad luck to a literally superhuman degree. In fact, his luck is so horrible that it completely counters out luck based superpowers, allowing him to beat Clover, whose luck is so supernaturally good that it made him completely untouchable to everyone else on the battlefield except for Karkat. Turning all your negatives into a positive. If that isn't just Karkat's entire character arc.

Karkat is not the conquerer he so desperately wanted to be. But he is a leader and he is a friend, and in the hands of a Blood Player, those two titles are far more powerful than a warrior ever could be.

Team Analysis: The Seven

What if the Justice League were evil? It's one of the oldest questions in comic history. Injustice, the Justice Lords, the Dark Multiverse, countless comics have dedicated themselves to answering this question. What kind of hellish dystopia would they turn the world into if they sought to only use powers for themselves?

As it turns out, a dystopia that looks quite a bit like our own.

Introducing the Seven. The world's greatest superheroes, brought to you by Vought International. This all star team has inspired countless amount of merchandise, ranging from comics, movies, video games, and more. But, of course, as with all celebrities, there is something much darker lurking beneath the waves.

In truth, all of these heroes are nothing more than walking, talking products home grown by their corporate owners. Experimented on with the super soldier serum known as Compound V when they were children, each of the Seven were groomed from a young age to be perfect products, with no actual regard given to their status as people. As such, The Seven each perfectly represent the ultimate corrupt celebrity.

A-Train, the team speedster, is in truth a massive junkie always looking to get his fix, often at the cost of everyone around him. His addiction to V got so bad that not only was he willing to kill his own girlfriend to keep it under wraps, but it wound up causing him a near fatal heart attack that permanently crippled his running speed, stopping him from ever being the world's fastest man ever again.

Black Noir, the team's brooding assassin, is in truth a traumatized schizophrenic who was so badly beaten by his old leader Soldier Boy that he lost the ability to speak and now he sheepishly does whatever his corporate masters command.

The Deep, local Aquaman rip off, is behind the scenes, a monsterous rapist who uses his position to sexually harass and assault his fellow heroes, including newbie superhero Starlight, which resulted in her working with The Boys behind the scenes to bring down her more corrupt co-workers.

The most monsterous of them all, however, would be Homelander, current Vought CEO, who has a perchant for sexual assaulting his managers, killing his co-stars, and leaving thousands of innocent civilians to die fir the sake of his own PR.

What's more horrifying is that these people are easily the most powerful people on the planet.

The Deep is the weakest among them, with his best showing being surviving two miles under the ocean, which would require him to endure a force equivalent to 498004.1896 joules across his entire body. Fitting, seeing how he's only of any practical use in the water, as his powers revolve entirely around breathing underwater and talking to sea creatures. With no superhuman speed feats of note, The Deep is an even lamer version of Superfriends Aquaman. Take that for what it's worth.

Source:

Next up is A-Train, whose overall power was heavily nerfed after his heart attack. Where he was once fast enough to liquify on contact just by running into them, A-Train is now only able to run a measly 119 m/s... which is still obscenely fast to be fair. Just nowhere near where he once was. It's so fast that the kinetic energy alone would be 602696.443 joules, enough to break through a solid stone wall.

Source:

Black Noir is where the Seven start getting truly impressive. While he has little more going for him than superhuman strength, he is one of few members of the team to actually be properly trained in martial arts, as he fought in Nicaragua alongside the US army with his old hero team Payback... before team leader Soldier Boy brutalized and crippled him that is. This experience edge has allowed him to defeat fellow Supes such as Starlight and Kimiko, as well gave him enough sense for him to carry around sleeping gas grenades, smoke bombs, and daggers. He's also tough enough to tank an explosion from the Supe terrorist Naqib, whose blasts should be worth roughly 70 kilojoules of energy and he's been stated to be able to outrun cars.

Source:

Comparable to him is Starlight, whose light based blasts are strong enough to knock Black Noir back, while the above explosion didn't even stagger him. She possesses the extraordinary ability to absorb electricity and shoot it out as massive beams of light, bright enough to potentially blind those who look at it. With an extraordinary amount of electricity in her system, she can even manage to hurt Soldier Boy, one of the few Supes on the planet capable of hurting Homelander. Though, do keep in mind, this far above her normal levels and only something she could achieve while her powers were completely overcharged.

Queen Maeve is up next and, as stated by Homelander himself in a deleted scene, she is the second strongest superhuman on Earth. After extensive training, she was even able to draw blood from Homelander in a straight up fight, reliably holding her own, even if she was eventually overwhelmed. Her armored bracelets, are just as tough, capable of withstanding Homelander's heat vision.

And finally, there's Homelander. The man who won the superpower lottery. He has heat vision that can melt solid steel, flight that can keep up with airplanes, super senses that can hear your heartbeat, and x-ray vision that can see through several stories. He's easily the most powerful and dangerous man on the planet. It took a massive chemical plant explosion to so much as scratch him, with a blast comparable to 43 tons of tnt barely even making him bleed.

Source:

He's also capable of outrunning c4 explosions at point blank range, moving 18x faster than sound to do so.

Source:

Now, if you're wondering where Supersonic is on this list, he is not only entirely featless, but he's also dead on account of Homelander. That's the first big problem with this team in a fight. They don't work together, they just try to appease Homelander to avoid getting slaughtered. They're not a superhero group, they're a bunch of superpowered celebrities being reigned over by one big bully.

As such, very few of them have any actual applicable skill or combat experience. While Queen Maeve, Black Noir, and Starlight have actual martial arts training and have been in a handful of series fights, the same cannot be said for The Deep, A-Train, or even Homelander. In fact, Homelander has only been in two fights where his opponent could actually threaten him. One of which was Maeve and one of which he ran away from after getting outnumbered. Everyone else, he just mows right through on the spot with eye lazers.

Despite that, however, The Seven are still easily the mightiest and deadliest heroes on planet earth. May god help us all.

Throwdown Theme:

Throwdown Breakdown:

Are you sitting down? Because I'm about to drop a bomb on you. Ready?

Karkat Vantas as a wriggler is twelve times stronger than Homelander.

Compare the impact of Rose's meteor to the chemical plant explosion Homelander tanked and you get 42 tons of tnt against a wopping 567 tons. And Karkat's only gotten stronger since then because he survived the impact as a literal infant. Even setting aside the Echeladder, Karkat's much stronger than everyone here.

So, can the Seven deal with that? No. No, they cannot.

Everyone who isn't comparable to Homelander in some way is completely useless here, as their attacks would bounce right off Karkat. If A-Train tries to rush him at full speed, he's going to splatter all over him like he hit Hughie's girlfriend on opposite day. It doesn't matter that A-Train is a bit faster because he can't do shit.

Could Maeve, Homelander, and Starlight maybe team up against him? They won't. Both Maeve and Starlight hate Homelander. Homelander paraded Supersonic's body around in front of Starlight for hell's sake. If Karkat starts kicking his ass, neither of them are going to step in on his behalf.

Now, to be perfectly fair, Homelander is much faster than Karkat, far too fast for him to react to anything he does. But that just makes this whole situation funnier, because Karkat isn't even going to be able to see Homelander's attacks doing fuck all.

To be until fair to the Seven, they absolutely would have the abilities needed to win this fight if they were willing and able to work together. Homelander and Maeve would just need to keep Karkat busy with their superior speed until Black Noir gets a sleep grenade off on him. Easy. But they won't. As soon as Homelander starts struggling, they're all either going to start panicking or cheering. The Deep and A-Train are viable to book it once Homelander breaks his wrists, leaving only Black Noir behind to pose a threat. While he could potentially get Karkat with a gas grenade, that would imply that A. Karkat couldn't just dodge it before it goes off. Or B. That Maeve or Starlight wouldn't stop him. Which they would have plenty of reason to after all Homelander's done to both of them.

Now, as a counter argument, I could see Maeve and Starlight potentially viewing Karkat as a threat to Earth due to the scenario. The problem with that is... it's Karkat. This guy immediately befriended somebody after they stabbed him in the gut. One of his best friends is would be genocidal supremacist Eridan Ampora. Not to mention, his reaction to this entire situation is going to be a bewildered vulgar tirade that's going to make it pretty clear to everyone actually listening that this is just a dumb kid in an oversized sweater.

I do however, see a situation where Homelander wins this. Namely, he could use the crowd around him as a bargaining chip to to force Karkat's surrender, since he has no problem with mass murder of civilians and Karkat's too slow to stop him. Only problem is, I don't think he'd think of it in character. In character, Homelander responds to losing a fight by first getting frustrated and then running away. He can be clever on the spot, sure, he spun that plane crash to his favor very easily. But that's more PR savvy than anything.

There's also the fact that if he does try that (or even just lashes out at the crowd in frustration, which I can see happening to be fair), then both Maeve and Starlight are going to be team Karkat pretty quickly, like what happened with Stormfront. While Starlight can't do much without overcharging, Maeve can. Sure, Homelander can beat Maeve on her own, she'd at least keep Homelander busy long enough to get Karkat the one hit he needs to knock Homelander out flat. All she really needs to do is keep him still for a few seconds.

I'd love to see Vought PR try and spin this one.

This Throwdown's Winner is...

Karkat Vantas!