#fuzzy squeaks

[evilducks]

just barely started reading Home: Habitat, Range, Niche, Territory and now i am thinking about a oneshot that shows all of the secunits that mensah & the presaux team could've known. like, alternate universes where they did choose a different planet, or a different bond company. maybe they hire a different secunit who also has a borked governor module, and they discover it or it reveals itself to them. maybe they hire a secunit whose governor module is still intact. maybe they hire a secunit who doesn't like the opaqued faceplate as much as murderbot does, and they have the 'Oh shit it has a face' moment a lot sooner. maybe their secunit dies while protecting them. maybe their survey goes entirely as planned and the secunit they hired is returned to the company. maybe their survey goes entirely as planned but they decide to buy the secunit anyways, because the corporation rim is disgusting and no one should have to be there. maybe during the survey, for some reason, they go outside of the distance limit and the secunit goes into permanent shutdown.

[evilducks]

anyways i know i reblogged this already and it is after 3 am so forgive me. but really probably the reason why they don't have their lyrics posted anywhere might be that it never occurred to them. or they didn't think that there was anyone who cared enough about their songs that they would want the lyrics. or maybe they've just been having a hard time getting the motivation.

if you can, try contacting them! ask nicely & politely, like 'hey i really like your songs! are the lyrics for it posted anywhere? and if not, could they be? i'd love to have a copy of the lyrics so i can understand the words better'. yknow? or something like that.

small musicians probably do not hate you, they probably love and appreciate you because you are one of a relatively small group of people who listens to their Stuff. and generally smaller musicians have less people trying to contact them, so.... if you ask them for something, they might see it & respond! it's worth a shot!

[sorry if this is ramble-y i am tired]

small musicians who don't post their lyrics online anywhere. Why do you hate me

[kylejsugarman]

ok just had some dinner for the first time and hoping it stays down.....im going to report to work tomorrow since we just have the morning then an afternoon of lectures but i really do feel like garbage still, i was too tired to do laundry which is the worst feeling

[hunsa-jars]

Taking your friend out on a date after a long time CAN fix you, actually

[mothmeadow]

got a new quilt<3

[evilducks]

HI NICK

uhhhh i cannot remember but i think it was something from off of the album From Zero by linkin park

demolition lovers by mcr

coyote wings by zoe mulford

@lepidopoda @ruusaanrambles @ilovedthestars @icedandcubed [no pressure]

MUSIC LOVERS ASSEMBLE!!

i feel like starting a tag chain so i hope this works out :)

reblog this with 3 songs:

the song your listening to right now (or last one you listened to)

your current favourite song

a song of your choice

______________________________________________________________

mine:

its now or never - elvis presley/love in the dark - adele

trastevere - måneskin

nevermore - queen

______________________________________________________________

tagggzzzz: (np ofc) @heartstopper-lover123 @s0lit4ir3 @ali-da-demon @vicwritesfic @skeelly @charliethinks @tori-my-love @chronic-skeptic @toulouseradiosilence @stewpid-soup @nine-frogs-in-a-trenchcoat @pessimistic-gh0st @theshyqueergirl @crowleybrekkers @a-bowl-of-soop @frogfairy444 @robinheaney12 @fairyghostgirlgaming @thatsawesomedontyouthink @venusplanetoflove2 @thelovelyvie @abookishshade @spir4nts-lun4r @i-have-no-idea-111 @kit-the-queer @a-wondering-thought @scatteredraysofhope @coco6420 @softlyunbreakable @givennnnnn @far-beyond-saving @darling-im-wonderstruck @heartstoppernerdsstuff @nonbinary-idiot-obviously @rebelrobinrules1984 @daydream-of-a-wallflower @leonine-elizer @angel-devil-star and anyone else who wants to join!!

[evilducks]

for a while i didnt know that the 'innie/outie' thing was about severance so i thought that people were doing some really weird personality-types stuff except with belly buttons

[sinkuna]

୨୧ — Gojo notices everything about you, especially in moments like these when you’re curled up like a content little kitten on the couch. Your oversized sweater slipping off one shoulder as you wiggle your toes in those fuzzy socks, and how your nose scrunches adorably while focusing on catching that sneaky fish in Animal Crossing, completely lost in your virtual island paradise.

He also notices when you haven’t paid attention to him all day. And if Gojo Satoru isn't getting his daily dose of you, then something must be done.

"Mmn~, pay attention to meeeee," Gojo whined dramatically, flopping onto the couch with all the grace of an attention starved puppy. His fluffy white hair tickling your thighs as he positions himself between your legs, making you giggle despite trying to maintain concentration.

"Shhh, I'm trying to foc-eep~♡!" Your stern words dissolved into a pitiful little squeak as his strong arms suddenly wrapped around your legs, spreading them wide with playful enthusiasm. How those brilliant blue irises of his practically sparkled with a devilish glint made your heart skip as he noticed your lack of underwear, "N-Not now, Satoru, i want to play my-!!"

"Aww, but I wanna play too," he cooed, nuzzling against your inner thigh like an affectionate cat, "And look what pretty toy I found~ no panties? My adorable little player going commando? How scandalous~"

You try to close your legs when his warm breath ghosts across your exposed pussy, "S-Satoru!" you squealed, trying to keep your Switch steady even as heat flooded your cheeks, "don't you have literally anyone else to pester? L-like Nanami, he’s fun to annoy, right?"

He pouted dramatically, batting those impossibly long eyelashes, "I thought you knew?" He cocked his head at you while giving you the sweetest smile, "Pestering you is my favorite hobby. Besides..." he drags his tongue slowly up your slit, making you nearly drop your game, "Nanami could never taste this good."

Your gasp turned into a giggle that melted into a moan as he hummed happily like he's enjoying the sweetest dessert.

"Mmm, sweet as candy." he purred between licks, "Keep playing your game, sweetie. Let's see how long you can focus~"

Your fingers trembled on the controls as he devoured you like his favorite dessert, making exaggerated "nom nom" sounds that had you torn between laughing and moaning. The fishing line wobbled wildly on screen while his tongue dove inside, swirling around your gummy insides and coaxing out your sweet juices before moving up to wrap his soft lips around your swollen clit, sucking gently.

"Ahh! Y-you're m’impo-hah~ssible!" you whimpered, trying to sound angry even as your hips rocked against his face.

"Impossibly charming? Impossibly handsome? Impossibly good at making you cum?" He winked up at you, chin glistening with your juices.

The Switch clattered to the floor as you tangled your fingers in his white hair, giving up any resistance. The noises Gojo was pulling out of you were lewd enough to make a porn star blush, and that cocky- delighted chuckle only spurred you on more as it vibrated against your clit.

"Such pretty noises you make," he teases between slurps, his tongue swirling around your throbbing nub, "Much better than any game soundtrack."

"Sh-ut up, you men-ah~ce," you moaned, tugging his hair the way you knew he loved. His responding growl making your toes curl.

"Make me," he challenged, slipping two fingers inside your drooling cunt, pumping in and out at a delicious pace before curling them to hit that spongy spot that makes your eyes roll back. "We're just getting started. I've got lots more games we can play~"

His cock pressed insistently against his pants as he crawled up your body, catching your lips in a messy kiss that let you taste yourself on his playful tongue.

"Congrats~ you unlocked the next level. Ready for the next stage?" he asked, grinding his hips against yours teasingly. "I promise it's more fun than Animal Crossing~"

You knew your game would have to wait, especially since it now lies forgotten on the floor as Gojo shows you exactly why he’s your favorite distraction. After all, who needed virtual fishing when you had the strongest determined to make you cum until you were seeing stars?

⋆｡˚꒰ঌ 𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ໒꒱˚｡⋆

[aeyumicore]

caleb finds your prenatal gummies

how does caleb react when he finds the bottle of prenatal vitamins you’ve been taking—but not because you're pregnant?

━ .ᐟ✧ PAIRING: caleb x female reader (afab) ━ ✧.˖ WORD COUNT: 1.9k ━ .ᐟ✧ WARNINGS: none really , pure fluff, but vague mentions of unprotected sex, talks of of pregnancy and having children, use of 'pip-squeak' ━ ✧.˖ LINKS: ao3 | twt

got inspired to write this as i was taking my supplements yesterday :') non-smut for a change ahhhh. enjoy!

THIS IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT. I WILL NEVER POST MY FICS ON OTHER TUMBLR BLOGS. I WILL ONLY POST ON THIS ACCOUNT AND ON AO3.

”Always so messy.”

Caleb speaks to himself, voice a low amused mutter as he deftly clears off the kitchen counter. You were staying the weekend in Skyhaven, evident by the random items strewn about his massive home. 

Yet, Caleb can’t help but smile as he eyes your belongings carelessly discarded all over his kitchen and living room. Your favorite fuzzy blanket draped over the couch’s armrest, grazing the floor. Your shoes haphazardly taken off by the front door, right next to, but not on, the dedicated shoe rack. Coasters left behind on the kitchen bar, still sticky with dripped apple soda.

You were a menace. But he wouldn’t trade your specific brand of chaos for anything in the entire universe. 

You were the one that made this lonely empty house a home, after all.

His grin widens as he remembers just how clean your own apartment in Linkon always is. Naturally, he comes to the conclusion that you only act like this when you know he’s there to pick up after you. To take care of you.

The most important job he’s ever had. 

The sound of the shower continues to run upstairs while Caleb tidies up the living spaces. He quickly returns ingredients back to their designated cabinets, abandoned after you so thoughtfully cooked dinner for him last night. As he shuts the cabinet, he sighs, eyes catching sight of the various vitamin bottles you’d left on the counter, nearly hidden by the rice cooker.

He gathers them up in his large palms, finding a spot for them in his own cabinet of medicine and supplements. 

One by one, he meticulously puts them onto the shelf.

Omega-3, vitamin C, collagen, creatine, prenatal gummies, vitamin B-12—

Wait.

Prenatal gummies?  

Caleb’s violet eyes widen, his breath stuck in his throat, as he reads those red words over and over.

Prenatal gummies for pregnant or nursing women. With folic acid and DHA. Whatever that meant.

His heartbeat quickens as his mind races a mile a minute, his thoughts landing abruptly on the only plausible explanation.

Were you really…pregnant? 

Was it possible? Yes. 

On more than one occasion, definitely way more times than he could count on two hands, he hadn’t been…careful. You’d begged for it, but he should have known better. It was his job to protect you.

But it’d always been on non-fertile days, or that’s what your little period-tracking calendar had always said. 

No, Caleb thinks in a sheer panic. Please no. I can’t be a dad. Not right now. Maybe not ever. 

He’d barely been able to protect you at the lab. He couldn’t possibly let down someone else—a child, a baby. Your baby. That you’d made together. 

He would not survive failing your child. Through heaven and hell, that is something he’d never be able to recover from. 

Caleb runs a shaky hand through his dark brown hair, his normally controlled and collected Colonel’s mask completely and utterly shattered at his feet.

Right now, he was just Caleb, the man who dedicated his entire life, who’d give up anything and everything, to protect you—and would do so until his last breath. 

And this Caleb had never been more terrified in his entire life. Through an entire life of experimentation, through traveling the Deepspace Tunnel, through an explosion that nearly claimed his life, he’d never been more scared than he was right now.

Fatherhood.

The world felt like it was closing in on him—every time he’d failed you replaying in the ever expanding black hole that was his mind. 

The lab. Losing you during the Chronorift Disaster. Every bully, every knee scraped. Ever. The Toring chip. The list goes on and on. 

His chest tightened until he could hardly breathe, his knuckles white with the force at which he gripped the bottle of prenatals. 

He wasn’t equipped for this. 

And yet…he couldn’t deny how many times he’d thought about this life, with you. A life of mundane and blissful domesticity. No Fleet politics, no Wanderers, no imminent danger at every fucking corner. 

A life you’d created together. When he’d grown up thinking there was no such thing. That there would never be a world that the two of you could truly call yours.

“Caleb?”

Your voice pulls him out of his all-consuming thoughts. His head snaps up to see you coming down the stairs, your hair wet, body swimming in one of his big shirts. Your face, beautiful as ever, is laced with concern as you see how uncharacteristically pale he is.

When his eyes meet yours, you can’t help but smile, always so happy to see his face and sparkling nebulous eyes—even when he looked like he’d just seen a ghost. Your smile doesn’t fade as you approach him, palms instinctively coming to rest on his chest when you reach him. 

And just like that, he wasn’t so scared anymore. 

The thought of a little you running around. With that smile?

A mini version of the most precious thing in his life. One that’d undoubtedly drive him insane with that same attitude he loved so dearly. 

That had your laugh as he pointed out different types of planes soaring through the sky. Or your mischievous curiosity as he taught him how to fly his very first jet.

Yeah. He could get used to the idea of that. 

“Did something happen? You look like you’re about to be sick,” you raise an eyebrow at him. It’s then he finally releases the plastic bottle of supplements, setting it down on the counter with a soft ‘clack’. 

Your eyes immediately drift to the source of the intrusive sound, widening when they see what he was so fixated on.

”Caleb it’s—”

You’re cut off by your own squeal, Caleb’s big palms gently but firmly gripping either side of your waist, pulling you so close you could hear his pounding heart. 

“Am I—I mean are we actually…Are you pregnant?”

You can’t help but giggle at his frantic words, stumbling over himself with none of the usual poise and polish of the Farspace Fleet’s revered colonel. 

Caleb’s hand moves from your waist to your tummy, his thumb stroking softly against the fabric of his ratty shirt. His palm cups against your naval without thinking, already instinctively providing a protective barrier between the most important things to him and the rest of the world.

”I…I don’t know if I’d be any good at this,” he whispers, nebulous eyes bright with emotion, “I don’t know if I’d be a good dad.”

Your eyes widen at his vulnerable admission, not expecting it in the least. You’d never expressly discussed starting a family that extended beyond the two of you, but it’d always felt like something Caleb wanted. A stark contrast to his words, you always knew Caleb would be an amazing dad, if that was what the two of you decided you wanted.

Before you can interrupt, Caleb continues, “But—God help me…I will never let anything happen to you. Either of you.”

Your heart flutters at the sincerity of his solemn vow, and you find yourself unable to form the words you should say.

”Caleb…you….” you trail off with a gulp, unsure how to verbalize the torrent of emotions you have for this unbelievably incredible man.

“You’d be the best father.” Your quiet whisper rings whole-heartedly, voice thick with adoration and a bubbling anticipation for your future with him.

Caleb watches you with rapt attention, his heartbeat still hammering like the thrum of a hummingbird’s wings amidst the silence between you two. You’re about to open your mouth again—tell him you’re not pregnant, when he picks you up and backs away from the kitchen counter so he can spin you around. His strong hands are secure under your armpits, the smile on his face so effortlessly Caleb.

Behind the thin mist of fear in his eyes, this was the brightest you’d ever seen Caleb.

You can’t help but burst into a fit of giggles, clutching his muscled shoulders.

“Caleb, put me down!” you demand through your unabashed laugh of delight.

”No,” Caleb grins, “You’re never walking anywhere ever again—never lifting a single finger. Not while you’re carrying our baby.” He suddenly swings you so that his arm is hooked under your knees, carrying you like a prince would a princess.

You smile so wide your cheeks hurt, but you know you have to tell him the truth. You couldn’t bear to disappoint him, but what’s worse was giving him false hope.

Reaching up to tenderly cup his face with your hands, your voice shakes, “Caleb…”

Caleb smiles warmly at you, his cheeks leaning into your touch, “Yeah, princess?”

You bite your lip at how adorably he resembles a happy puppy, his earlier fear seeming to have evaporated into pure excitement. 

You find tears inexplicably forming in your eyes, grieving a pregnancy that was never even there to begin with. Blinking them back, you rip off the bandaid.

“I’m not pregnant.”

Seeing the befuddled expression in his features, his amethyst eyes squinting with unanswered questions, you continue, “The prenatals aren’t for that. A friend recommended them for my skin. Since work’s been a little stressful and I’ve been breaking out.”

You clutch his jacket, staring at his chest—waiting for him to speak. To express disappointment. Maybe even scold you for letting him believe, even if only for a minute. 

“You’re stressed? How come you didn’t tell me? What’s going on at work?”

Caleb only stares at you with genuine concern, still not setting you down, holding you tighter. Your heart hammers at the worry laced in his voice, drowning in emotions that that was what he was most concerned about. 

Your troubles.

“N-Nothing serious, it’s just workplace politics—anyways! The point is I’m not pregnant, okay? I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad.” 

You can’t stop the apology from tumbling out, even when you know you have nothing to be sorry for. But just seeing how excited he’d been is enough to make you feel like a monster for being the one to squash it. 

Caleb sets you down so that you’re sitting on the counter, his thick body positioned between your thighs. Your heart can’t help but sink at the simple action that felt like it signified so much more. That he was disappointed with you.

But suddenly Caleb flicks your forehead with his index finger.

“Hey!” 

“Dummy,” he mutters, thumb soothing the area he’d flicked, “Why are you sorry?” 

“I—you were so excited,” you say sheepishly, “I probably should’ve mentioned I started taking them before you found them yourself.” 

Caleb chuckles, almost in disbelief, hooking your hair behind your ear. Before he can respond, you whisper, “You’re really not mad?”

“How could I be mad?”

His hand abandons the edge of the counter, once again coming to rest over your stomach. His thumb strokes you reassuringly.

“Just knowing that you think I…” he trails off, his own voice murky with emotions. 

“That I’d be worthy of being the father of your children.” 

You place your hand over his, squeezing gently. It felt almost comical—the two of you in the kitchen, hands pressed over your stomach like there was anything there. 

“Besides, I’m not in a rush,” he smiles gently, taking your chin into his fingers and brushing his lips against yours. 

“We have a whole lifetime to make our own little pip-squeak.” 

© aeyumicore 2025.

.ᐟ✧ THIS IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT. I WILL ONLY POST ON THIS ACCOUNT AND AO3. i am not @/aeyumicores or @/aeyumiicore or any variations of my blog name.

✧.˖ i do not permit translations or reposts of my work on tumblr, ao3, or others. please do not reuse my blogpost headers, dividers, or layouts. these are original designs of my own.

[kissbabie]

messy sex with nagi ♡

nagi who’s definitely very appreciative of you. all the girls around him always crushed on reo, so it came as a surprise when he learned that you were interested in him. he’s not very good with words, but he’s so in love and smitten with you, that the best way to show how grateful he is is by fucking his big cock into your pussy.

you’re squealing as he pulls his cock halfway out and slams back in, watching how your slick dripped down around his cock and made a mess between your thighs. he had you all spread and stuffed full of him, your pussy fluttering and so messy from how many times he’s already made you cum.

“ah—mmnh—! ssseiii, it’s so loud…” you whined, face burning as the slick, messy sounds of his cock pistoning in and out of you, balls slapping against your clit echoed through the room.

“so what?” he panted, licking into your neck as your walls clenched around him. “s’just your pussy tellin’ me how good it feels. can’t help it, right?”

“it’s embarrasssing—!” you’re cut off with him shoving his mouth onto yours, tongue slipping in as he kissed you through it, causing your head to go all fuzzy for him.

“means your pussy's really happy," he mumbled, lifting your leg a little higher so he could go even deeper, hitting that spot that made you cry out.

then he leaned in close, head tilted down as he looked at where you were connected, your puffy folds stretched around his cock, all shiny and soaked with your cum and his.

nagi abruptly pulled out, leaving you empty as you twitched and squirmed. but before you can even whine at him to go back inside, it seems as if he’s totally entranced by something, causing you to realize he’s staring at your cunt. his eyes are half lidded, and his big hands are holding your thighs wide open so he could get the perfect view.

you blinked down at him, breathless. “what…?”

“miss me already?” he cooed, thumbing at your folds.

your pussy fluttered helplessly, slick dripping down to your thighs, and nagi only leaned in closer, so close you felt his breath ghost over your skin as he whispered, “y’re so cute…”

you squeaked, “seishiro—stop talking to my pussy!”

finally, his lazy eyes lifted to yours, slow, smug, lips curled in a grin.

“but she’s being so honest with me,” he said, cock nudging at your entrance again. “y’re so shy, angel… but she’s makin’ it clear how much she wants me.”

he kissed your wrist, leaning in to press his lips to yours in a deep, messy kiss while slowly pushing back in, stretching you open again.

“m’bad, baby,” he murmured between kisses, cock buried to the hilt now. “i’ll pay attention to you now, m’kay?”

by now, you’re too far gone, begging him to keep going, whining to him, “y-yeah, please.. ssseiii—make it worse, wanna feel you drip out of me, want it all messy and gross, I don’t care—!”

“if that’s what you want, angel.” he hums, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your forehead. he knew it’d be a hassle to clean up later, but how can he ever refuse you?

© 𝒌issbabie | don't copy, steal, or translate any of my work

[doebagel]

Oh, I was so excited to get home after working on a holiday.

I'm home now but my body has completely shut down, and I can't actually do anything now that I'm here.

[cameronsbabydoll]

military!rafe x ditzy!wife!reader

you’re wearin’ one of his old shirts, sleeves way too long, hem fallin’ just under your ass. fuzzy socks on. lip gloss smudged. stirrin’ some sad excuse for pasta with your favorite pink spatula.

rafe’s at the kitchen table, cleanin’ his rifle. focused, quiet. brows furrowed. all serious.

so of course you ruin it.

“baby?”

“hmm?”

“what’s in area 51?”

he don’t even look up. just freezes, hand stillin’ on the barrel.

“what’d you just say?”

you blink, all innocent. “area 51. the alien place. you work for the government, right? sorta?”

he sets the gun down real careful. sighs through his nose. you can already tell he’s annoyed.

“jesus christ, girl.”

“what?” you pout. “i was just wonderin’. i saw it on youtube. they said there’s, like, little green guys down there n’ secret space stuff—”

he’s up in a flash, stalkin’ toward you slow like a damn wolf.

you squeak when he crowds you against the counter, hand braced next to your head. leanin’ down real close.

“dumb little thing,” he mutters, more amused than mad. “sugar, you don’t even know how to work the dishwasher, and now you’re out here askin’ me ‘bout fuckin’ aliens?”

you swallow hard, blinking up at him. “i was just curious...”

he huffs, nose draggin’ against your cheek.

“curious. yeah. well now i’m curious.”

“’bout what?”

“how someone with a brain so empty still manages to walk around without forgettin’ to breathe.”

his hand slips under your shirt, fingers squeezin’ your bare ass.

“bet your head’s just full of sparkles n’ lip gloss, ain’t it?”

“and you,” you whisper, smilin’ real sweet.

his hand comes down hard. smack. right on the curve of your ass. you yelp, clingin’ to his shirt.

“that’s right,” he growls. “all full’a me. my dumb little wife, waddlin’ ‘round in my t-shirts, thinkin’ about aliens while burnin’ dinner.”

“i didn’t burn it,” you pout.

“sugar, it smells like fuckin’ rubber bands in here.”

you whimper as he spins you, bends you over the counter. panties pushed aside. cock heavy and mean between your thighs. not even gentle.

“’m gonna fuck you so dumb you forget all about area fuckin’ 51,” he mutters, lining up.

“rafe—”

“hush. dumb girls don’t get to talk.”

he slams in, rough, one hand tangled in your hair, the other pressin’ your cheek to the counter. you moan, eyes rollin’ back, syrupy sweet sounds spillin’ from your lips.

“all mine,” he grunts, fuckin’ you hard. “don’t need brains when you got a mouth like that, huh?”

“n-no…”

“nah. you just need me. take care’a you. fill you up, keep you dumb n’ pretty like you were made to be.”

his fingers find your clit, rubbin’ fast and sloppy.

“gonna cum for me?”

“mhmm…”

“say thank you.”

“th-thank you, rafe…”

“good girl. fuckin’ good girl.”

you cum cryin’, gaspin’, body shakin’ under him — and he don’t stop. not even when you’re twitchin’. not even when you sob a little, all overstimmed and cockdrunk.

“next time you ask me ‘bout aliens,” he pants, fuckin’ you deep, “you better do it while you’re on your knees.”

[evilducks]

WHY are some of my mutuals still AWAKE! you should all go to SLEEP

[not-the-darknight]

(for mod, psst- gimme one of your favorite rp moments and I'll doodle it later :D)

((Mod -

This is so sweet asfncsdjcjskbcjks

My favorite RP moment - Diluc trying to find a mouse that he thinks is an abyss mouse. Idk. It was the most silliest things I had done on this blog and it is still stuck in my brain. Like it altered my brain chemistry I think.

))

[lovebugism]

Thunderbolts prompt: fake dating with them oh my lordy

ty for requesting :D below you will find four separate blurbs for the thunderbolts (bucky, yelena, john, and bob), each with their own separate summary and warnings! enjoy!!

BUCKY BARNES X READER — you pretend to be bucky's wife to help his image during the election (friends to lovers, pre-thunderbolts but also kinda canon divergent | 0.8k words)

Bucky Barnes never lets go of your hand. He never stops smiling either, at the sporadic camera flashes that threaten to blind him while the elevator doors squeak to a close. Only when the two of you are finally alone, away from the leering eyes of the press, can Bucky take his first good breath of the evening. Only then does he let go of your hand.

You migrate to opposite sides of the small lift and bathe in the welcome silence after a too-long night of shaking hands and people pleasing. Bucky sighs and tips his head back against the wall. “I’m sorry about this,” he mumbles beneath the ding-ing elevator. “Again.”

Despite the ache in your feet from a long night in heels, you manage a small, tired laugh. “You don’t have to keep apologizing, Bucky— Valentina put me up to his, alright? Not you.”

“No, I know, I just…” he trails off with an awkward chuckle, loosening the knot in his tie with two fingers. “I just know you’d rather be anywhere else in the world than here, you know, with me. I know how boring these things are, trust me.”

He tilts his head to flash you a tight-lipped grin, ocean eyes dark and weighed down with a visible fatigue. You give him a much more apologetic look in return.

“Actually, I’m kinda happy I’m here,” you correct and avert your gaze. “I know Valentina did all… this,” you wave your hand vaguely between the two of you. “But if pretending to be married helps you get elected, then I’m happy to do it. I seriously think you could do some good— like, world-changing good, so… I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else.”

Bucky’s chest warms with an unfamiliar feeling. Something fuzzy, like television static or crackling embers — the kind of feeling he only gets whenever he’s holding your hand. It feels strange now, not to be touching you after spending a whole evening at your side.

He flexes his flesh hand and tries to ignore the ache while the numbers on the elevator continue to rise — 27th, 28th, 29th… 

“I know neither of us wanted to be here, but… Out of everyone Valentina could’ve picked, I’m glad it was you.”

“I’m sure you are,” you quip, trying not to be as vulnerable as you feel. “Considering her first idea was pairing you and Walker to go on, like, pretty public missions together.”

Bucky’s face screws. “No, it wasn’t...” he groans.

“Yeah. Like, saving kittens out of trees— Real serious stuff.”

He makes a pained, grumbly noise in his throat. “Well, now I’m extra glad it’s you.”

The two of you exhale soft laughs and stare ahead at the closed doors before you; more specifically, at the bright red numbers above them — 41st, 42nd, 43rd — praying silently that they’ll slow down.

“And even though Valentina did all those for show… You know, the whole married Avengers thing…” Bucky trails off and clears his throat, trying to find the words to say. “Every time we kissed, every time we pretended to be in love… It was real to me. It was always real to me.”

You exhale a heavy breath. Like his words have physically punched you in the stomach. 

“And if you don’t feel the same way, I get it. Okay? I do,” Bucky rambles, preparing himself for an inevitable rejection. “But when all this dies down, whether it gets me elected or not, I’d like to take you out on a real date.”

“No press?” you ask, peering at him from beneath your lashes.

Bucky shakes his head in agreement. “No press.”

“Even if you don’t get elected, and all of this ends up being for nothing?”

“Well, it… wouldn’t have been for nothing.”

You exhale a breathy laugh. “You know, despite what Walker says about you, you still know your way around women, Sergeant Barnes,” you quip beneath the ding of the elevator. 

Bucky’s brows furrow in confusion as the elevator doors whir open. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he calls to the back of you as you step out onto the fifty-third floor.

He doesn’t follow you — equal parts because he feels like his feet are glued to the floor and because his real room is a floor above the one Valentina booked for Mr. and Mrs. Barnes. 

You flash him a look over your shoulder, eyes dolled up and magnetic like a siren’s gaze would be. “It was real to me, too, Bucky,” you murmur, so quietly he barely hears it, then remove every ounce of vulnerability from your being. “Now, do you wanna come in for a night cap or what?”

You walk off before he can answer. Bucky catches the closing door with his vibranium hand and rushes to follow behind you.

You share a bed that night, like many nights before, but this time with the knowledge that everything will be different when you wake up the next morning.

YELENA BELOVA X READER — yelena wants to show her parents that she's doing okay after the death of her sister, and recruits your help to do so (friends to lovers, post-thunderbolts | 1k words)

Yelena Belova’s trying to prove that she’s okay. Alexei and Melina were worried that Natasha’s passing had ruined her, which it had — and that a life without her sister had left her all alone, which it did. But, in an attempt to stave off the weepy conversations and squishy-eyed gazes, Yelena decided to bring a companion to the family dinner. 

You were her teammate, first and foremost, and the only one she could tolerate long enough to pretend to date for a night. And, besides, you were too soft for your own good to deny her of anything.

You were too perfect a choice, turns out, ‘cause her parents end up taking to you like a third daughter.

Yelena groans with her head in her palms when Alexei returns from the bathroom, modeling his original Red Guardian supersuit like he does every time they visit Melina’s country house. The spandex gear was created in the early eighties and smells like it, too. The thing gets tighter every time Alexei shoves on it, but he wears it with a bright smile on his bearded face anyway.

“Still fits!” you exclaim kindly from the kitchen table as the older man poses in the doorway.

“I told you it would!” Alexei slurs in his deep Russian accent. “Forty-one years old, this is! Can you believe it?!”

“Yes, I can,” Yelena mumbles into her shot glass before swallowing its golden brown contents in one go.

You shake your head with a polite smile. “You don’t look a day over thirty, Alexei.”

“Oh, you flatter me,” the man chuckles from the depths of his round stomach, then deflates with a realization. “Ah, drisnya— I forgot the, uh… the…” He trails off, motioning vaguely around his head as he searches for the English word. “The helmet. I just— I ruined this whole thing…”

Melina smiles at the pouting man she used to call her husband (and still does, on occasion). “No, you didn’t, my love,” she coos, voice low as honey. “You look great.”

Alexei shakes his stubborn head, swiping a calloused hand through his long, greying locks. “No, I have— I have to do it all over again. Just… wait. Wait here, da?” he scurries back down the hall, searching for the helmet he’d left behind.

Melina deflates with a sigh. “We’re going to need a lot more alcohol than this,” she mumbles, rising from the table and taking the half-gone bottle of whiskey with her.

“Maybe something a little stronger?” you quip.

The older woman smiles down at you. “Now, you’re speaking my language, solnyshko.” 

You wait until she’s left the room to lean over to Yelena, “What’s sul-nish-co?” you whisper.

“It’s solnyshko—” she corrects in perfect Russian. “—And it means sunshine.”

You smile, warmed by the term of endearment. “That’s nice…”

“Don’t get used to it,” Yelena scoffs and takes another shot. (Her tenth, or maybe hundredth of the evening).

Your brows furrow at her words. You flinch slightly, like they’ve physically pained you in some way. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means this isn’t real,” she says, motioning wildly between your bodies. “But those idiots think it is, and they’re getting attached— which means they’re going to wonder why I don’t keep bringing you around— which means I didn’t solve any problems, I just made a new one.”

She points an accusatory finger at you. You blink back burning tears.

“You invited me here, Yelena… I don’t deserve the blame for this…” You turn to your own shot glass, which has been sitting on the table ahead of you for some time now, and finally find the courage to take it. “…Whatever this is.”

Yelena watches with an apologetic look in her eyes as you down the whiskey in one swallow. She can’t help but smile softly to herself when you grimace at the bitter taste.

“You’re right. It’s not your fault. I’m sorry,” she mumbles, so quiet you barely hear it, as she rakes her fingers through her chopped, box-dyed locks. “They’ve just been so worried about me since ‘Tasha died… I wanted to prove to them that I still had someone who cared about me. Even if it was just pretend.”

You smile at the sullen Russian girl. “It’s not pretend, Yelena. You have people who care about you— The entire team would’ve shown up if you asked them.”

Yelena gives you a knowing look in return, doe eyes shadowed with smoky liner.

“Well… Maybe not Walker,” you correct yourself, gaze flitted to the ceiling. “Or Ava… Or Bucky— But Bob definitely would’ve been here, and you know it!”

“Exactly,” the blonde girl says with a soft, gravelly laugh. She fails to meet your piercing gaze and fidgets nervously with her empty shot glass instead. “You’re the only one who cares enough to pretend to like me.”

You feel her tense when you put a soothing hand on her denim-clad thigh. She peers at you beneath her lashes with a shy ocean gaze, chest warming something fierce when you smile. “It’s not pretend, Yelena…”

She falters, unable to tell if your words are some kinda confession or if you’re still just being nice. Her eyes dart across your features, like she’s looking for an answer inside them. Before she can find one, Alexei stumbles in from the bedroom.

“I thought we agreed, no PDA,” the grown man whines, still in his too-tight suit but now sporting the matching helmet. “It’s nasty, ‘Lena, I can’t stomach it.”

“Yeah, well, I can’t stomach you,” the girl retorts instinctively.

You smile in the face of their banter. “You were right, Alexei— It definitely needed the helmet.”

“I told you!” the man exclaims, voice booming as loud as his wide smile. “I told you it made the outfit better— In your face, ‘Lena!”

Yelena shakes her head, but can’t help but smile to herself. 

She figures she could get used to this.

JOHN WALKER X READER — john takes care of you after a mission gone wrong, like the doting husband he's pretending to be (enemies to lovers, pre-thunderbolts, cw for mentions of injuries | 0.8k words)

John Walker is just trying to survive — or, at least, that’s what he keeps telling himself. Valentina pairs the two of you on a mission nothing short of life and death. “You’ll draw less attention as a couple,” the woman smiled, passing you an envelope with a forged marriage license and two golden wedding bands inside. “Trust me. You guys are pros at this— What could go wrong?”

The answer to that question was easy: everything.

It was good until it wasn’t. John posed as a business exec Monday through Friday, nine to five, where he would then return to his ‘house’ in the suburbs with a cold beer and a home-cooked meal waiting for him. White picket fence, rose garden, backyard with a pool — the whole nine yards. As far as he was concerned, the only problem was having to share it with you.

You pretended to be his housewife. You went to book clubs, pilates, and over-priced grocery stores, all in the name of fitting in with the rest of the Stepford wives around you. While John got close to the bigshot CEO that Valentina wanted dead, you played nice with his wife — pretty, a little stupid, and satan reincarnate. 

It went on like that in an unforgiving cycle. You received intel in the name of petty gossip and found ways to busy yourself until Walker got home; you had parties, get-togethers, and barbecues to blend in with the community, pretending to love each other all the while.

It was nothing short of your own personal hell. 

The mission was inevitably a success, though not without a couple casualties. You and Walker managed to make it out with a couple scrapes, a few bruises, and only a single gunshot wound — which isn’t so bad, all things considered. 

You think you’re taking a bullet to the stomach much better than your faux-husband is.

“Jesus Christ, you’re a fucking idiot,” John mumbles under his breath as he stitches your weeping wound with careful hands. 

He only managed to stop panicking when he got you to the safe house. Before then, you thought he might cry. You would’ve made fun of him for it if you'd stayed conscious long enough on the ride here.

“Wow,” you scoff, tilting your heavy head against the pillow to glare at him. “Your bedside manner is impressive, Walker. Truly.”

John’s face twists with a palpable irritation. “You don’t get to make jokes right now, alright?” he grouses, snipping the remaining thread from your sutures.

You laugh despite the stinging in your side. “Why not? I think now’s a perfect time, honestly—”

“Because you almost died!” John shouts over you. 

“What the fuck do you care?”

“Uh, because we’re married,” he monotones like it’s obvious, flashing the wedding ring on his left hand, now stained with your blood. 

“No, actually, we’re not—” You wince when you try to sit up. John reaches for you on instinct, helping you prop yourself on the pillows he’s piled beneath you. “—And I’m totally divorcing you when we get home. Just, by the way.”

“Trust me. The feeling’s mutual,” he deadpans, towering over you as he wipes the blood from his hands on a towel. “But we’re probably gonna be stuck here awhile. Valentina’s not getting in a hurry to send any backup, so…”

“What a fucking bitch…” you sigh and tip your head against the bedframe.

“We only have to play husband and wife for a few more days. Think you can handle that?”

“It wasn’t so bad…” you shrug, eyeing John with lidded eyes as he rounds the mattress to the right side — which had, over the course of eight months, become his side. He sits down gingerly, careful not to make any sudden movements that might hurt you. You melt into his warmth on instinct, leaning your shoulder against his broader one. “…Until you got me shot, anyway.”

“Hey, you did that yourself— No one asked you to protect me.”

“Sorry for saving your life, you idiot.”

“I’m a super soldier!” he laughs. “I can take a hit! You can’t!”

“I think I took it pretty well, actually,” you scoff, face screwed in offense.

“Yeah…” John sighs despite himself. “You kinda did.... Just don’t let it happen again.”

“But I like watching you dote on me,” you joke, tilting your head on his shoulder to see him better. 

Your noses nearly brush at the proximity between you, which would border on romantic to virtually anyone else. But, for the two of you, it’s your job — and you’ve gotten used to playing your role to perfection. Being close to him now is like muscle memory. 

“You don’t have to almost die for me to take care of you,” John chuckles. “You know that, right?”

You shake your head. “No, actually. I didn’t.”

“Well…” John shrugs. “Now you do.”

It’s just as much of an admission of love as the blood on his hands from patching you up, or the bullet fragments in your side from shielding him from gunfire. All the rest of it goes unsaid.

ROBERT REYNOLDS X READER — you and bob pretend to date because it's easier than trying to convince everyone you're just friends (friends to lovers, post-thunderbolts | 1.2k words)

Robert Reynolds didn’t want to be alone, and neither did you. The decision to attend Valentina’s wedding together was as mutual as it was unsaid, just like most of the time you spent together. 

You haven’t been apart since the day you found him in New York. At first, it was just babysitting — making sure he didn’t turn half the city into a shadow again — but then you grew rather fond of his company. And eventually, neither of you could stomach being without the other. So you never were. Ever.

It was all completely, utterly, and unequivocally platonic, but the rest of the team convinced themselves otherwise. After a year or more of constant prying, it just got easier to let everyone else believe what they wanted. And, besides, pretending to have a boyfriend got you out of a ton of unwelcome social interactions. 

The team wants to get a beer after a mission that totally drained your social battery? Oops, sorry, I have to get home to Bob before he thinks I’m dead.

Old acquaintances from high school want to hang out with Bob now that he’s quote-unquote famous? I wish I could, but my girlfriend’s super sick. Maybe another time?

You and Bob were best friends and nothing more. But sometimes pretending otherwise had its benefits.

“Isn’t wearing black to a wedding bad luck?” Bob mumbles as you enter the elaborate dining hall side-by-side. (Valentina’s wedding had only two rules: all guests must wear black, and absolutely no kids.) It made Bob nervous, as most things tended to.

“It’s her fourth marriage,” you shrug. “It’s basically a funeral, anyway.”

You’re bombarded on entry by Alexei, who by the looks of it, had already pre-gamed in the Avengers Tower before coming.

“Ah! It’s the lovebirds!” he shouts, voice booming over everyone else’s. He turns to a total stranger passing by and motions to the two of you. “Aren’t they cute?” he asks the strange man, who just gives him a weird look in response. Alexei smiles anyway. “See? He agrees with me.”

“I don’t think he does…” Bob murmurs sincerely.

“It’ll be your turn next, eh?” Alexei chuckles, hitting the boy hard on the shoulder. Bob flinches under his tattooed hand despite being the most powerful Avenger the world’s ever seen. “Getting married. Being all… married.”

Bob hesitates, looking to you for an answer ‘cause he’s never been the best liar. You just smile, like it all comes too naturally to you. “Only if you promise to officiate the wedding,” you croon and wrap your left arm around Bob’s right one.

Alexei’s smile ebbs into a look of shock. His eyes go soft around the edges, filling with tears at the kind gesture.

“There would be no greater honor—” he tells you, Russian accent deep in his throat as he takes a step closer. He holds Bob’s wrist in one hand and yours in the other, shaking them for emphasis. “—Than uniting the two of you in marriage.”

You realize how seriously he’s taking it and start to flounder. “Well, you’ll be the first one we tell, Alexei,” you mumble awkwardly and slide your hand from his grip. “I promise.”

You’re dragging Bob away before the man can go on another half-drunken rant about a faux relationship and a wedding that will never happen.

You weave through the bustling crowd, hands instinctively entwining to stay together. 

“Do you think anyone would notice if we left?” Bob mumbles, nervously adjusting his tie with the hand not holding yours.

You look around, then shrug. “I don’t think I care.”

You end up sneaking into the kitchen before cocktail hour even starts, stealing a tray of sweets on your way to the wine cellar. Bob trails behind you like a lost puppy, distantly fearful of getting caught (because his omnipotence has yet to cancel out his perpetual anxiety.)

He paces back and forth while you try to pry the cork out of a vintage Merlot.

“I’m starting to feel bad,” Bob blurts suddenly, sweaty hands wringing into knots.

“Why?” you scoff with your mouthful, chewing through a tart chocolate-covered strawberry. “It’s just wine. No one will even know it’s missing—”

“No. About… lying to everyone.”

You freeze with half a strawberry still wadded in your cheek. “Oh…” you mumble, then swallow the rest of it down. You adjust the wine bottle between your anxious hands and stammer for a response. “Do you wanna… Do you wanna stop?”

The concept of stopping is slightly foreign to you. You've gotten so used to pretending to date him that sometimes you forget you're not actually dating.

Bob pauses his pacing to shift his weight on his feet. He shakes his head and answers honestly, “No. I don’t wanna stop, I just… don’t wanna lie.”

It’s a confession, albeit a vague one. He eyes you with a wide, attentive gaze and prays you get the hint. He can tell, by the sudden fearful look on your face, that you do. 

Your eyes flit to the ceiling as you smack your lips against your teeth, as though deep in thought. After a moment or more of silence, filled only by the distant swelling of violins, you nod. 

“Okay,” is all you say as you spin on your heel and turn away. You can’t face the vulnerability, so you choose to pick your battles and search for a cork screw for the impossible-to-open wine.

“O-Okay?” Bob stammers, nearly stumbling over himself to follow behind you.

“Yeah,” you shrug. “I mean, we were already kind of doing it, so… We’re basically halfway there anyway, right?”

Bob’s sigh of relief comes out like a laugh as he leans against the counter beside you. “I just… I didn’t think it’d be that easy,” he chuckles, crossing his arms over his chest in a feeble attempt to still his racing heart. “I would’ve asked you out forever ago if I did.”

The cork exits with a low, smoking pop. You inhale the scent of bitter grape as you bring the heavy bottle to your mouth. “How long have you been planning this?” you wonder with a laugh before taking a lengthy sip.

“Not long,” Bob insists with a shy shrug. “Maybe about… a year?”

You nearly choke on the dry wine. “So… Since we met?” you press, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.

“Uh—” Bob trails off, voice an octave higher than usual, as his eyes dart to the ceiling. He tries to do the calculations in his head, but the days have all blurred together since the Sentry Project. All he knows is, at the very least, that he’s been in love with you since the day he met you. “—Yeah. That sounds about right.”

“Here,” you blurt, offering him the too-expensive bottle of wine in your hand. “I think you need this more than I do.”

You can’t help but falter at his admission — that all the time you spent together wasn’t just pretend. Not entirely. 

Every time you held hands in front of the team, cuddled on couches during movie nights, pretended to make out beneath the blankets so that whatever unfortunate team member was sent to recruit you for an early morning mission would leave the two of you out of it — some of it was actually real.

You can rest easy now knowing that you weren’t the only one who’d somehow fallen in love along the way. 

It was all Bob’s fault, really. 

But he’s more than happy to take the blame.

[evilducks]

anora aora adora

yes u should 👍

mutuals (and others) has anyone seen anora my grandmother is asking if i want to go see it with her is this a good idea