#gabe's thoughts

[wannabepapa]

i want to use someone's belly or chest as a pillow so badly 😔

[gbssworks]

guilt vs glee!!!

[im-not-over-it]

Hey so I’m actually obsessed with this photo

[ambwosialive]

on gabe: ghosts, grief, and wants.

before i get started: this is all my opinion! i've been into n2n since 2010 so i've had a lot of time to think about this (thank you dunmar warehouse thank you) the thing that those who are pro-poltergeist/demon/ghost/etc gabe don't consider, i think, is that i'm alive tells us everything that we need to know.

he is not just want diana wants him to be. he's what natalie wants him to be, he's what dan wants him to be, he's even what dr. madden wants him to be.

one of the reasons why he takes the melody in superboy and the invisible girl is (aside from the absolute juiciness narratively of her brother that she's singing about overshadowing her in her own song about him overshadows her) because natalie in that moment wants to feel validated, like she's correct in assuming that gabe Is More Acknowledged Than Her and in fact Is An Asshole, which is why he's smiling and bragging so much. (in my opinion!!!)

(as far as the text goes it is widely interpreted that) he isn't able to be seen by dan for most of the show, because that's exactly what he wants him to be: invisible. not there. going off of this texted based interpretation it can be argued that the reason why he sees him at the end (other than the acknowledgement of grief as a larger symbol and made into a tangible form) is because some part deep inside of him wants someone at that moment; diana is gone, natalie is too. he wants to feel held, so he gets held. in the case he can see and hear him and he is just ignoring him this changes. (in my opinion!!!)

dr. madden knows him as a baby who died, which is why in make up your mind / catch me i'm falling he's cradling himself in his mother's lap, why his voice becomes more childlike. (in my opinion!!!)

the problem is we are trying to define an abstract concept in simple terms, which is just not possible. not only is gabe a symbol of grief, he very much is a hallucination of diana's, and tends to side with her for that reason. (in just another day, diana is talking about how beautiful the day is, and the only one who agrees with her is gabe- "birds are singing, things are growing", etc.)

and then, of course:

guys, that's the point.

poltergeist? ghost? hallucination? symbol of grief? abstract? that's the point. we aren't supposed to know what gabe is. it's paradoxical. "what you want me to be / your worst fear", "i'll hurt you / i'll heal you", "your wish, your dream come true / your darkest nightmare too". that's how grief is. you don't know exactly what it is. is it love without a place to go? is it anger for losing them? anger at yourself for letting them be lost? gabe can be more than one thing.

especially with theatre! every gabe is going to be different! aaron's gabe is different than jack's gabe is different than kyle dean massey's gabe is different than a community theatre somewhere's gabe! that's the point! some gabes may play him as the all american football throwing jock, some may play him as an evil poltergeist, some may play him as a whiny child who needs his mom. that's the point! the interpretation means what it means to you and how you see it! he means what he means to you! we can discuss all day long about what is the objectively correct opinion on who or what gabe is (i am guilty of this. look at the previous paragraphs), but at the end of the day…

he is what YOU want him to be.

[curiouslymyown]

Gabe singing it only hurts when I think and so whenever Diana asks for his opinion he looks almost confused because he is a part of her and therefore cannot form his own thoughts

[youremysputnik]

ignore the fact these are horrible screenshots but has anyone talked about gabe’s huge smile when natalie starts going through the pills?

[giiyus]

do you think diana was frantically rushing around her house on walton way for gabes baby items when the fire started? trying to make sure she grabbed everything she could and placed it into her little box of hers? dan trying to make sure she and natalie were safely out of the house but having to go back inside to look for diana?

[in-a-spring-way]

Something I haven’t seen anyone really talk about is how Theo fully flinched away when Gabe was shot. A year ago(?) he dug his claws inside of his pack as painfully as he could and felt them dying. He can’t even look at that kid getting gunned down now; he physically recoils, squeezing his eyes shut and turning his head away from it. Countless things he’s witnessed and experienced, and this is what he can’t watch. An angry, misguided teenager getting betrayed, blindsided, and killed.

[one-off-blog-posts]

Gabe Goodman is not inherently evil. he ain't a parasite. he ain't intentionally malicious. he is the manifestation of guilt. n he is so aware of that. that's not somethin he tries to keep from us 'If you won't greive me/ you won't leave me' n 'I'm more then memory/ I'm what might be/ I'm mystery' or rather he is the forms of greif he takes for each family member. more than memory or Diane's delusions. I'm what might be or the perfect happy family Dan dreamed of. I'm mystery or her mother never told Natalie what happened to her brother. His memory haunts this home but she doesn't know him. Gabe is incapable of not bein a impartial third party. cause he ain't a character. he is the sacrificial lamb his family protects their own feelins onto.

[outer-andromeda]

POV you listen to that one song that triggers your memory and reminds you of that musical you co-wrote two years ago so you decide to draw one of your roles in it

[bpenn]

New Headcanon Alert: Gabe actually died in Dan's arms.

[possiblyawesometmblr]

a next to normal au for the morningstar family would go so hard

bear with me a moment i need to get this out of my system

isla/diana: setting aside the fact that i think caissie levy could actually play isla for real and absolutely KILL it. diana quite literally gets her brain wrecked in an attempt to remove memories that her husband thinks are bad for her in this musical so. yknow. the parallel writes itself.

icarus/gabe: icarus morningstar you deserve to haunt the narrative and also be so, so angry at your dad. i've been thinking so much about the timeline icarixis made where no one remembers them includes them dying/disappearing at a very young age. and how gabe is kind of a shithead to natalie but also loves her in his own way. and that he spends a large chunk of the show screaming for his dad to finally look at him. and the very first "catch me, i'm falling" bit. and the entirety of i am the one (reprise) being an icarus and fable number. and the juxtaposition of "i'm your wish, your dream come true, and i am your darkest nightmare, too" for how different people are reacting to them returning. i just. gah. icarus morningstar and gabe goodman you are shaking hands

rae/natalie: hellooooooooooo neglected perfectionist second child who has developed some nuclear-grade bad coping mechanisms, how are YOU doing today? superboy and the invisible girl IS a baby rae song i will be taking no criticisms. also let's be real out of all of the bad coping mechanisms rae has canonically tried i don't think xanax cracks the top five worst

fable/dan: this father is trying to fix everything and doing it All wrong. crazy how convincing your wife to go through with electroshock therapy to get rid of memories you don't want to face didn't go well, huh? also on a nicer note, the line "can you tell me what it is you're afraid of? and can you tell me why i'm afraid it's me?" is so compelling as a fable line. and back to being mean, ha, your wife leaves you at the end of this. sucker.

caspian/henry: simping hardcore for rae. and also a stoner. this one's not as deep but i mean. if the shoe fits

i have absolutely no thoughts for dr. fine but there's a loose argument for dr. madden to be either soraza (memory energy) or find a spot for enderian through him. no au is perfect this is where this one stumbles /silly

anyway i've had jack wolfe's "i'm alive" on loop for a week and i have an entire animatic for "make up your mind/catch me i'm falling" sitting in my brain. you can watch this whole musical for free on pbs right now if you're american and i'm on my knees begging you to do so, have a nice night

[writingdeliberately]

"catch me I'm falling, faster than anyone should" is the best like allegory (idk if that's the right word) for reaching our as someone struggling with suicidal tendencies. Like hearing "It's like living on a cliff side, never knowing when you'll dive. Do you know what it's like to die alive?" I was like, yeah. You lose control over really scary parts of your brain, and you spend all of your energy wrestling those pats of your brain. Leaving you tired and empty, wasting away. But the first time I heard Gabe's quote I felt like I had been stabbed or something like woah. Falling is used a lot in relation to this feeling, but faster than anyone should is so specific and palpable. Not faster than I've fallen before, not faster than i've ever seen. Faster than anyone should is so helpless, it's so dizzy and unnatural. When I was at the peak of my struggle with this kind of head space, I remember thinking in the sliver of rational I had left "I can't believe this is real, I can't believe I can feel like I'm being control/encouraged by some unreal voice in my head." All of that to say, I was like this when I first hear that line.

[ohhoneypascal]

Heh yeah

[laurencate]

One thing I think is beautiful about Next To Normal is how every character is so uniquely tragic, and yet they parallel each other so well (Diana to Dan and Gabe to Natalie).

Diana: So wrapped up in grieving that she hasn't been able to do much of anything else in the last seventeen years, including caring for her relationship with her daughter or husband.

Dan: So wrapped up in caring for Diana that he hasn't been able to do much of anything else in the last seventeen years, including grieving his son or caring for his relationship with his daughter.

Gabe: Has love and attention from his family, but would give it all up in an instant for the chance to just be a living teenager.

Natalie: Is, in all respects, a living teenager (has a boyfriend, hobbies, schoolwork, etc), but would give it all up in an instant for the chance to receive love and attention from her family.

They're all just so tragic, and I'll never get over them.

[tiredlakes]

the beauty of life is strange