#gbbo: out of context

[racingliners]

Scone as in gone pronunciation supremacy

[bluesky-out-of-context]

[spontaneousmusicalnumber]

Got to be part of a mini horror story today! We were hanging out on Discord chat, me sewing on my cosplay and the other three starting a new game of Wingspan.

I was picking away at a needlessly complicated bit of stitching and not paying the best attention. My twin was setting up the new game, and another friend was absently chatting about his self-professed mediocre gay crush in the new GBBO.

And we all hear my twin murmur, quietly and out of character,

'So have you figured it out yet?'

...

'Oh. I guess not.'

And then,

silence.

The rest of us three did the virtual equivalent of blinking at each other. Then we started gently probing with questions such as "Hey, what was that?" and "What did THAT mean?" and "Did you accidentally mute yourself?"

Silence.

No mute icon.

Her game stream is still running.

We start to get a little more energetic. We're a little spooked, but kinda laughing still. If this is a prank it's a really good one. "Hey, what the fuck?" "Hey, you alive?" "Can you hear us still? We can't hear you"

Silence.

I text her outside of Discord. "Hey, what the fuck?"

She sends back

"?"

We are fully freaking out right now. She doesn't know or remember what she did.

She apparently has no idea what we're freaked out about, but her discord has stopped sending her our audio and she sends a little while restarting it. Eventually we are able to all hear each other. I decide to fill her in. Like, lighthearted can-you-believe-this-shook-out-this-way vibe.

"Hey, so let me give you some context for those texts. Tyler was chatting about GBBO and we just heard you say in a really creepy way 'So have you figured it out yet' and then 'I guess not' and then you went silent."

And she replied "I never said that."

She didn't remember ever saying those words that all three of us heard, clearly, in her voice. We were completely freaked out. She was completely freaked out. She actually took off her headphones to hear if there was anyone else in her room.

I kept prying with potential explanations, each one denied. No, the cat wasn't doing anything weird. No, she wasn't talking about a post. No, she wasn't judging the GBBO crush.

All of us had heard it. None of us were joking. All of us were genuinely spooked to some extent. All we could do was offer halfhearted explanations as to WHY we had all heard a ghost that had then shut down one person.

Then, my twin spoke up.

"WINGSPAN. Wingspan was glitching out when Tyler was talking and I needed to restart the game, and I was streaming so that probably kicked me off Discord! And I muttered that when the game started to glitch and then forgot!"

Mystery solved. Only a brief stint in a horror movie.

[hakurasakura]

out of context great british bake off - 1/?

[catstieeel]

a sexy puss

[escapetoluna]

Imagine being asked to cage a tart, as if that's a common thing people do at home??

[bayofmistakes]

paul hollywood? cancelled

[misandry-business]

[thekidkelly]

please know that for the first couple episodes of gbbo i would just laugh every time they panned over to chigs bc his eyebrows are SO expressive it just made me laugh, but i'm on the episode where he's in the flannel shirt and oof wowie he looks GOOD i think i have a crush too and i've been very much enjoying your chigs posting today <3

mich…my beloved, my soulmate, the light of my life you have such incredible taste <3

i also got some enjoyment out of chigs’ expressions cus he really was just so expressive like there’s an episode later on (and because i’ve binge watched it all the last two days or so they run together and i don’t remember exactly which one) but paul says something before a technical i think and the face chigs made literally made me laugh out loud and that alone and out of context sounds very stupid but if you’ve seen it you know what i mean

chigs w glasses >> but chigs w glasses AND a flannel??? >>>>>>>>> he really knew what he was doing those last few episodes the only drawback i have with him is that in like two consecutive episodes he creased the jordan’s 😩😩 big no-no

anyways he is now my crush and if he sees this hey chigs please feel free to hit me up my dms are open on all platforms i am free this friday night to hang out so please let me know if you want to hang out this friday night when i’m free in my dms

[babysizedfics]

Headcanons Masterpost 6

constantly being updated - last edit 18 Apr 2021

Please do not reblog this masterpost! Please just reblog the individual concept posts thank you!

Bold headcanons are my personal faves!

Story stuff:

Even more mindscape lore (updated) | when janus and vee’s parent-child relationship started falling apart | everyone’s gender, sexual and romantic orientation labels

Vee:

being semi-verbal and selectively mute | when in the timeline did vee become softer/more feminine | no bathtoys but likes bubbles and taking softies in the bath | pretending to want to watch MLP bc she knows it cheers roman up | kissing her big bro’s boo boo | more on vee’s hyperempathy | sanrio hair scrunchies | vee stores another softie inside minty | sock the dog calming her down from panic attacks | being grumpy because of spilled milk | stimming with long hair | stimming while fae eats | pressing flowers and keeping them as memories | loves ironing and colour coordinating | slurping milk puddles (Pink Crayons deleted scene) - logan explains the 5 second rule isn’t real but vee takes it as a free floor food pass | looks for crayons in her fruit (after Pink Crayons)

why fae is scared of hide and seek

Roman

occasionally likes bathtime - only with a cg though - daddy washing his hair - mommy cuddles after he gets cold from the water - pretending to be a whale - cgs looking forward to it | remy teasing little roman, little roman teasing remy | roman got his wisdom teeth out a few years ago | rainbow strip lights | explaining roman’s littlespace, whether it is involuntary, and whether he has always been a little | middle roman getting everyone to say “owa owa” | loves praise, but doesn’t depend on it to feel valid | the CGs threatening Roman with the tickle monster

2 month anniversary date with jamal | patton cuts up ro’s spaghetti (but jamal does it better) | jamal finds one of vee’s pacis in roman’s room but doesn’t say anything about it (plus why he won’t confront roman about it)

“I’m just a little boy!!” - “don’t corrupt me!” | “my life is so hard!!” *is being thoroughly pampered*

Roman’s teethers!!! | Jamal supporting and adoring the teethers!

Logan:

when logan realised his feelings for patton in the timeline/how long it took for them to get together | “patton, your kids are being weird again”

Patton:

reluctant but wants to grow a beard | how does therapy help patton? | ‘round and round the garden’ papa-baby tickle game | hating reality shows | what patton daydreamed about doing when he first became vee’s cg, and how he wishes he could take the family to a forest

Janus:

pretending to call the CGs when roman is naughty | sharing embarrassing stories and photos from vee’s childhood | eyepatch | “Du wirst immer mein Kind sein” | embroidering vee’s t-shirt

Michael:

staying at the family’s house for his top surgery recovery and giving vee her first kiss | being seen as part of the family and how everyone helps after his top surgery | Roman teaching michael how much vee loves being tickled and teased | janus and michael did not like each other when they first met

Jamal:

Jamal’s love languages and his relationship with Roman | obsessed with the great british bakeoff | even though he can’t bake | Jamal bonding with Patton over GBBO | seeing Roman little before he knows what it really is (and loving it) | the only person allowed to call roman “baby” | learning about roman and vee’s tickle game, and tickling roman himself! | visiting for dinner and meeting the family | smooshing face on romans as affcetion

Multiple:

logan and roman calling sock the dog stinky, vee and pat being horrified | brother-sister bathtime and vee calling it a “pawy parby” - roman feeling protective - vee’s bubble bath, roman’s bathbombs | papa-baby soft tickle game, mommy-son math tickle game | CGs aren’t too protective over Roman when it comes to Jamal | CGs are pretty casual abt dating each other (but Logan gets flustered by anything suggestive) | littles’ reactions to being called ‘stinky’ (no context) | everyone’s favourtie animals

[imbellarosa]

Hiii! I was wondering if you read fanfic?? And if so, what are your fav tropes/works??

Hi!!!! I read A LOT of fic from A LOT of fandoms! My fav tropes are either flat comedy or enemies to friends to lovers or friends to lovers or something like that! I only read happy endings, but I don’t mind some angst in the middle. Idk what fandom you’re looking for so I’m gonna give you a list of some of my all time favs from EVERY fandom, and I’ll add one that I’ve written!

Walk That Mile by purpledaisy- 150k words 1D enemies to friends to lovers road trip AU across the US for a fun, banter-y time with some real communication issues that really get resolved well. People always say that a rom com should have a good answer for “why can’t they be together NOW?” And this one does it really well! No real angst, and a lot of fun. 

Have Love, Will Travel by @kingsofeverything - 97k words 1D YouTubers on a roadtrip AU! If you liked the first one on this list, you’re gonna love this one too! Sweet and long and full of the memories you would make on a road trip. Lots of laughs with this one, and I wish I could see the “Have Road, Will Travel” video series irl! 

Tell Me Now, Tell Me Now by @vanillabeanniall - 55k words 1D Miraculous Ladybug AU but you don’t need to watch the show to ADORE it - I know that I sure do!! Funny and sweet and SUPER ironic, with superheroes and Paris mixed in and great characters! Who wouldn’t love it?

So Let’s Cross the Lines We’ve Lost by thecoloursneverfade - 165k words 1D friends to enemies to friends to lovers uni AU that was one of the first that I read in the fandom and really made me fall in love! Good friends, some angst, hard convos that lead to real growth, and lots of really great characters. This feels real, for a lack of a better word, and is always compelling. 

Ain’t That A Kick in the Head by keysmashlesbian, wreckingtomlinson (karasunonolibero) - 23k words 1D comedy AU ft. football player!Louis, Disaster gay!Harry, memes, frogs, head dives, Blue Coolattas (whatever those are), and a very sassy Red Robin waitress named Fiona. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve read it, and I always laugh, and I always find something new to fall in love with. 

Leave it To the Breeze by @hattalove - 82k words 1D GBBO AU. This one feels like a warm hug. It’s gentle, fun, has great characters, believable angst, has you rooting for more than one of the characters to win, and is also hilarious, somehow. I’ve read this fic over and over and over, and I especially do it when I have time before a new season of GBBO. Also, have snacks!! It makes me hungry

The Section by bananaheathen - 11k words 1D Uni AU with grad student TAs, sophomore undergrads, art classes, movie analysis, and final essays as methods of seduction. Also, nicknames, nude models, a Halloween party, and absolutely shameless flirting. I loved it, and laughed the whole way through. 

I’ve Heard it Both Ways by @adoredontour - 26k words 1D Psych AU. I love this one. I love the fic, I love psych, I love the author. I’ve read most of her works, but this one has such a special place in my heart. Go read it!! 

Play it All Night Long by janine_tangerine - 43k words SPN radio AU with DJ!Dean and bartender!Cas, with music, annoying coworkers, sassy siblings, and lots of love. WHOAH WHATS THIS A LIVEJOURNAL FIC??? I know but I read this ages ago, and it has music EMBEDDED WITHIN THE FIC! It was my first introduction to Bob Dylan, who remains one of my favorite artists of all time. 

Crossroads State by Mercy - 51k words SPN slice of life AU with Mechanic!Dean, Teacher!Cas, Law Student!Sam, and lovely lovely moments. All sweet, some tension, but no real angst. I read this forever ago, and still come back and back and back to it. 

Peace and Good Luck to All Men by KismetJeska - 31k words SPN College Au. DO YOU MEAN THE BEST CHRISTMAS FIC EVER OF ALL TIME??? I read this on the first day of December every year, and it makes me laugh every time. Cas falls in love with his sister’s boyfriend, Gabe and Luke are in a seduction competition, Michael is tired of everyone, and Dean doesn’t know what hit him. 

For All You Young Hockey Players, Pay Attention by @thursdaysfallenangel - 144k words SPN enemies to lovers hockey AU. Just. Please go read this. Gorgeous and still one of the best fics in the whole fandom, imo. Cas is the new transfer on Dean’s team, and Dean doesn’t like change. 

The Complete Works of Emmanuel Allen by @violue - 54k words SPN small town AU ft. writer!Cas and local business owner!Dean. Dean meets his favorite author, but does not know it’s him. Shenanigans ensue, with a lovely warm feel. Dean builds a mausoleum and owns cats and lives in the woods. Cas needs a change of scene. Sam thinks everyone needs some more company. 

The Mirror by cloudyjenn - 25k words SPN parallel universe AU. This was one of the first fics I ever read, and I still love it. Dean touches an enchanted mirror and travels through universes in search of an answer to a question he hasn’t asked. Full of love, family, and companionship. 

Asunder by rageprufrock - 24k words SPN AU with Social worker!Dean, Doctor!Cas, Sober!Sam, and RUBY!!! Ugh I love this fic for Ruby alone. This one is more bittersweet. Dean hasn’t spoken to Sam in years due to his struggles with addiction. Sam, now sober, is getting married, and has invited him. Dean can’t face his family alone. 

But It’s a Good Refrain by lady_ragnell - 23k words Merlin Radio AU! Merlin has an anonymous gossip radio show, and someone calls in to put Arthur on blast! Morgana is a fan, Arthur is not amused, and a sort of enemies to lovers thing occurs. Just lovely, and it makes me laugh every time. 

And Like the Cycle of the Year, We Begin Again by @katherynefromphilly - 208k words Merlin canon compliant. This is the Season 6 we should have had. If you’re at all into this fandom, go read it - it’s still an all time fav for me. Hundreds of years later, Arthur walks out of the lake. Merlin has been waiting. 

Give The Dragon a Chili by @supercalvin - 47k words Merlin magical AU based on the story in New Zealand of the cat stealing someone’s underwear. Merlin’s dragon is sort of a thief. 

Fundamental Imperfection by Starlingthefool - 12k words Merlin famous author AU. Arthur likes Dickens. Merlin does not. They get into it on a panel, and twitter stan wars ensue. And enemies to friends to lovers where literary arguments are an expression of love, and stories are magical. 

The Student Prince by FayJay - 145k words Merlin Uni AU. What a classic!! It’s a magical realism royal enemies to friends to lovers AU ft. a dragon in the walls, a lovely gay soc, Gwen as a Muggle, and some really great characters and moments. Do yourself a favor and go read this one. 

Call it Love by @dalek-in-heels - 30k words Merlin RPF. UGH THIS ONE!!! Okay 1.) the author is one of my best friends, and she’s amazing! 2.) lovely fic that takes place at the end of Merlin, and still has one of my all-time favorite misunderstandings in fic ever. “Yogurty Heart” is my favorite way to say I love you. 

If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things by @watsonshoneybee - 35k words Sherlock AU canon compliant through season 3. This one is sad, but the title is taken off of one of my favorite books, and the writing is gorgeous - as is the characterization. Happy ending, though! I promise! So the journey is all worth it! 

In All of the Lives We Are by @dalek-in-heels - 20k words The Magicians canon compliant through the first half of season 3. Sarah does it again and writes one of the best fics I’ve ever read. Art as therapy, a sweet love story in more than one universe, and finding the will to keep going through the worst days. The writers of the actual show should have read this fic and put it on the screen. This is my canon. 

A Happy Ending? Sure Enough by me (imbellarosa) - 8k words The Magicians canon compliant up to season 4. This is the only one of mine I’m putting on the list, because I still really like this one! You need some context, but not much? Idk, just if you want to see how *I* write! 

[racingliners]

If I had half of Nelly's confidence I'd be such a happy person

[oxymoronicromantic]

Tagged by @caitfrankie

Favorite color: depends largely on context- lately I’ve been a huge sucker for emerald green with ruddy gold tones. But the colors of a late spring thunderstorm- stormy grey and purples and blues with vibrant leafy greens and silvers. But I also have a deep love for teals and yellows and cheery pastels in a kitchen (thanks, GBBO)

Currently reading: Um. First off, I love reading, it great, I enjoy it…I just haven’t done it in forever. I currently am stalled out on reading Men, Women and the Mystery of Love by Edward Sri, Mrs. Frispby and the Rats of NIMH, and Maurice and His Highly Educated Rodents by Terry Pratchett.

Last movie: Porco Rosso. Love it so much!

Last series: Leverage. It’s a solid “watch an episode while the baby nurses” show.

Sweet, savory, or spicy: I need all of them. Sweet cake. Savory smoked meats. Spicy wings….

Or, even better, all at once. A local place does a red hot with onions and peppers and apple slices and cream cheese….Heck yeah.

Craving: time to truly decompress with my husband. Parenting is rough, and conversations can be hard to have over the chaos of three little boys.

Also the aforementioned hot dog.

Tea or coffee: coffee. Trey makes it for me every morning and it’s so good. I do love a cup of tea in the afternoon too though.

Working on: identifying emotions with my oldest. Eating real foods with the baby. General civilization with the three year old. Trying to get back into the habit of taking better care of the house…and myself.

T A G G I N G: @ms-ninja-crab , @terichio @imissthembutitwasntadisaster , @the-catholic-padawan , @notafraidof-virginiawoolf @itsallwearecalledtodo and @septembersung

[puppetsoftomorrow]

I don't care for cooking shows and have never seen gbbo or anything, but I just hope you're having a fun time. Comments on stuff without context can also be quite funny.

lmao thank u!! i’m always having a fun time watching gbbo ... also this week with all the caged tarts must have been wild out of context lmao

[goonlalagoon]

The Great Haus Bake-Off || Check, Please!

I have no memory of what caused me to start writing this, but been re-reading some Check Please fic and finally got motivated to go back and finish it...

(also on Ao3 here)

No-one was quite certain, later, who started it.

 It had been a post-practice brunch, they all agreed, sometime in that period when everyone on the Internet - or at least, about thirty percent of the parts of the Internet that Bitty frequented and re-tweeted things from - was obsessed with Great British Bake Off, and someone had eventually said “It’s baking, it isn’t like it’s exciting”, and it seemed like almost everyone in the room made a sound of thoughtless agreement.

Then came the terrible ‘clang’ of an oven door being closed.

 Instantly, the room fell silent. The look Eric Bittle turned on them all would freeze enough water for an ice rink, and for a long moment everyone at the Haus kitchen table was both trying to remember whether they had said the terrible thing, and wondering with deep seated horror whether if no-one owned up Bitty would actually withhold all baked goods.

 Chowder actually gulped when he began to smirk.

 “Oh, really? Y’all better be ready to put your money where your mouths are.”

It’s really only supposed to be a small thing. Bitty plans to just get the boys to try and make something - maybe a pie, or maybe he’d give them something fancier, patisserie of some kind - which they would all inevitably fail at but would probably make fools of themselves in some deeply entertaining fashion while baking. But Lardo listens to him patter on about it for fifteen minutes, swallows her pie, and grins.

“Say, Bits? You reckon we could turn this into a Samwell Men’s Hockey publicity thing?”

 They even manage to get a sort-of sponsorship out of it by dint of Lardo sidling up to the manager of the cute little store Bitty goes to for baking apparatus - he’ll compromise on many things for the sake of budgeting, but when he needs another pie dish or his scales go on the blink, Eric Bittle is not afraid to invest - and cheerfully explaining the entire story. The manager is delighted and insists on being a judge in exchange for giving them a deal on some of the key equipment, because Bitty loves his teammates to pieces but wouldn’t dream of letting them near his mama’s set of cake tins for love nor money.

When the delivery arrives he discovers that the manger has even managed to get them cake stands patterned with skating boots and little snowflakes.

One of Lardo’s arty friends agrees to film it in exchange for permission to submit it as part of his film and media portfolio, and Bitty indulges himself in a full rerun of every episode of Bake Off aired so far to gather ideas.

Lardo joins him for most of it, already planning the spiel she’s going to stick up on the SMH website to cover the event and organising a few people for taste testing (with a guarantee of a Bittle produced rendition of the days challenge in case all other offerings are truly inedible as they both half suspect they will be)

 Meanwhile, the rest of the boys begin to panic. Baking is not a skill that was widely associated with the SMH Haus before the arrival of Bitty, and their main interaction with baked goods is still firmly on the consumer end of things.

Ransom is seen carrying a stack of cookbooks up to his chin across campus from the library, and spends his evenings memorising recipes with the fervour he usually saves for last minute test revision. No-one quite dares use the Haus kitchen to practice, because what if they damage Bitty’s baking stuff he will either cry or kill them or both, and take over miscellaneous dorm kitchens to try and memorise the basic sponge recipe. A bemused Farmer lets Chowder use her kitchen, and promptly tracks down Bitty to ask what on earth is going on, because “he accidentally used salt instead of sugar and I know for a fact he’s done that several times before, why is he trying to bake again now??”

(She joins in with the GBBO re-watch and makes some excellent suggestions for possible challenges.)

Shitty attempts to make macarons, because he suspects that Bitty is going to make them all suffer. He pokes his failed attempt and concludes that Bitty may be prepared to make them all suffer, but he also loves baking too much to inflict this level of horror on himself, surely?

He largely stops trying to prepare himself and instead starts waxing lyrical about baking in the context of gender roles, mostly the hypocrisy that being able to bake a cake is still considered an essential life skill for a girl, but no one has ever thought it unreasonable that he has never baked a cake before in his life, and winds up on Wikipedia at three fifteen A.M. having gone down a Google rabbit hole that has somehow led to him reading the page about the societal structure of meerkats.

 In the end, Bitty decides on three challenges, as a nod to the format and a fun way to get some variety; cookie decoration (he’ll provide the prepped dough, bake ‘em once everyone’s used whatever cookie cutters they want, and then they do the decoration), mini-cake construction (everyone gets a batch of miniature sponges, their choice of how to glue the two layers together and add finishing touches), and one actual baking round - the showstopper pie.

Lardo makes a schedule, because the Haus kitchen won’t take all seven of the team who got themselves into this mess trying to work in it all at once, so that they rotate between stages and go in batches to Murder Shop ‘n Stop to buy their pie filling ingredients.

 It’s a disaster, and Bitty watches the chaos unfold with entirely unconcealed glee, keeping up a cheerful voice over - and if his chirps happen to distract the boys and lead to much panicked responses and second guessing, well, that’ s just the nature of baking in a high-pressure environment, isn’t it?

The first round of judging involves a lot of guesswork. Admittedly, Chowder’s blue and white creations are a lot easier to figure out if you’ve seen the inside of the boy’s room and could reliably guess what he was going to attempt, so there are a lot of puzzled looks exchanged amongst the judges until someone makes the link with the Sharks hoodie he’s wearing.

It turns out that Dex can do a pretty neat galaxy icing pattern if he puts his mind to it, even if he got the consistency wrong; Bitty may actually have to try it himself, sometime.

(”Jack, did you…did you actually do maple leaf cut outs with a maple glaze? That’s…”

“Gotta stay on brand, eh? And I was told I wasn’t allowed to do plain circles and decorate them as hockey pucks.”

Most of the minature sponge cakes are gradually sliding more and more lopsided as the various attempts at butter-cream or other fillings prove unable to hold. Holster has somehow managed to cut his at almost a perfect diagonal instead of in half; Nursey simply gave up and presents his as an ‘open sandwich’ rather than trying to glue the layers back together.

 (“Shits, what did you even put in the middle of - is this marmite? Did you - did you seriously - why?”

“Listen, love it or hate it, and I happen to love it. Sweet and savoury, a classic combination -”

“Marmite victoria sponge is not a classic combination, Shitty.”

“I was told to be creative, thank you very much, unlike those of us who went with jam and butter-cream.”

“I like jam and butter-cream. Anyway, I did use apple jam, that’s not typical. And I put maple syrup in the -”

“Bro, I am also from Canada, and even I will say that is incredibly Canadian of you.”)

Bitty almost weeps when he sees the final range of pies produced. He was braced for them to be terrible; he just wasn’t quite prepared enough. For a moment, he wonders if this whole stunt was really worth it.

 Fillings are burnt while pastry is undercooked to the point of being raw - or the filling is horribly flavoured and the pastry overcooked until it’s about the consistency of wood chips.

Ransom has managed a surprisingly pretty lattice over three-quarters of his pie, but ran out of pastry for the last section. Chowder forgot to leave air-holes in the lid of his (and put salt instead of sugar in the filling).

Nursey isn’t sure what ingredient he forgot, but it was clearly one of the essential ones.

But there is one pie that actually looks…if not something that Bitty would have baked himself, at least something he wouldn’t be instantly offended to be connected to. The lid is a near perfect golden brown, with precisely spaced snips to let the steam waft gently out. The pastry is precisely crimped around the edge of the pie dish, with the excess trimmed away to leave a clean margin. The filling is sweet but not sickly.

 The decorative pastry maple leaves add a certain artistry, the main judge declares with the pleased smile of someone who knows they were created with a cookie cutter bought from his own shop.

The video of Jack being presented with an ice-skate patterned cake tin and a matching apron as he’s declared the ‘Samwell Hockey Haus Bake-Off Champion gets re-tweeted by Bob Zimmerman within five minutes of being posted, to a flurry of Twitter activity.

Lardo and Bitty were definitely not expecting their slightly-spite-motivated publicity stunt to go quite this public.

 (It was a really good pie, though.)

[hawthornewhisperer]

Bellamy is sick and his voice gets deeper and Clarke feels Things

Clarke didn’t wait for Bellamy to speak before she stepped past him into his apartment.  “Where’ve you been?” she asked, shrugging out of her black leather jacket.  Toeing out of her boots required planting one hand on his chest and he obligingly held her steady, but before she got the second one off a coughing fit overtook him and he stepped away.

“Sick,” he managed between wheezes.  He sagged against the wall and she took in the ashen pallor of his skin and the dark circles under his eyes.  His hair was mussed, and not in a deliberate way— in a “I haven’t showered in way too long” sort of way.

All her plans of teasing him for being a lame old man evaporated instantly.  “For a week? Why didn’t you call me?”

“It’s just a cold,” he said, coughing again.  “It’s nothing.”

“Doesn’t sound like nothing.  Seriously, why didn’t you call?”

“It wasn’t worth it,” he rasped.

She reached up and touched his forehead, relieved to find that he wasn’t too warm.  “Still,” she clucked.  “Well, I was coming to drag you outside but nevermind that.  Go shower and I’ll make you something to eat.”

“Clarke—”

“Don’t argue.  You’ll feel better after a shower, I promise.”

“I don’t want to get you sick,” he protested weakly, but she knew she’d won.

“Let me worry about that. Go,” she ordered, and Bellamy sighed heavily and pushed away from the wall.

His cupboards were shockingly bare, but she found one last can of soup buried behind a stack of loose teabags and set about heating it up, along with a mug of green tea with honey.  She knew Bellamy’s kitchen as well as her own, if not better.  She spent a lot of time here, more than most in their group, and she mentally kicked herself for letting him beg out of hanging out for an entire week without asking why.  Bellamy was terrible at asking for help. She should have known something was up.

“When was the last time you cooked for yourself?” Bellamy asked from behind her just as she ladled the soup into a bowl.  A shiver went down her spine at the low timbre of his voice.  He’s sick, don’t be weird, she sternly reprimanded herself, and then belatedly realized it was probably worse to find her best friend’s voice sexy, but that was going to be a problem for a different day.

“When was the last time you let anyone fuss over you?” she retorted, tipping her chin towards his couch.  Bellamy shrugged.  She deliberately avoided noticing how cute his curls were as they dried, because that was not something she was ready to think about.  He looked a little less clammy now, and on the couch she forced the bowl into his hands.

“Seriously, when was the last time you let anyone take care of you?” she pressed, pulling her legs up to sit facing him.

He shrugged again.  “Mom was usually too busy and Octavia was too little. I got used to it.  It’s just a cold, Clarke.”  She shook her head and turned on his netflix, calling up a new episode of Big Dreams, Small Spaces.  

“You’d better not have watched ahead on me while you were sick,” she chided.

“No comment. But I’ll gladly watch it again,” he said with a glimmer of a smile.  Clarke grabbed a blanket and tucked it over his knees, and for once Bellamy submitted to her ministrations without complaint.  On the screen a gentle British gardener walked people through garden renovations, and when Bellamy finished his soup and tea he laid down with his head in her lap.

“See? Don’t you feel better?” she said smugly, scratching her fingers against his scalp.  He closed his eyes and groaned happily.  She briefly wondered what that might sound like in a very different context and shook her head, determined not to Go There right now.

“I do,” he said, still in that same rough voice.  “I’ve got the best best friend in the world.”

But suddenly, that didn’t feel like enough.

A/N: Everyone should be watching Big Dreams, Small Spaces. It’s like GBBO, only with gardens and absolutely zero competition.