#ghilly: “idc. idc. i dont care.”

[abyssal-ilk]

taking in elgar'nan and solas' view of ghilan'nain vs how she presents herself is so,, okay.

in one of the memory scenes we see, solas refers to her as "the most sensitive of us." in a letter written to ghilan'nain, he claims that she has some moral standing that she is sacrificing for her love to andruil- just as he did for mythal. solas and ghilan'nain clearly knew each other prior to both of these interactions and potentially even knew each other very well, but!

ghilan'nain denies his claims in her letter back to him. she says she is doing this of her own will and that andruil is supporting her want for more magical ability, not that andruil is pressuring her or she is sacrificing something for this. yet. in the same letter she says she could not make something like the halla again. not that she did not want to, but that she couldn't. something has changed that is preventing her from being able to.

thanks to two seperate codex entires, we know that elgar'nan has insisted that ghilan'nain needs to take time to mourn andruil, implies that she has a soft spot for the halla after she vists them, and makes active efforts to try and "cheer her up" after the loss of razikale. he clearly expects ghilan'nain to need some sort of emotional care/recuperation after losing her lover and archdemon, but what does she say in response?

she holds no fondness for the halla, her interest is purely to investigate how they have changed. (she is grimly pleased when the venatori killing halla are slain.) she does not need to mourn andruil, for andruil has been remembered in this new world as being fierce and swift. (she will build a monument for her once they have won). she does not need time. there is work to be done.

(in contrast she DOES mourn razikale quite openly. or rather, she rages over her death and vows revenge while onscreen, while elgar'nan describes her as being listless in his own written accounts.)

idk!!! just the way solas and elgar'nan insist that there is something more to her and the way ghilan'nain shuts it down to try and seem in control of her situation and emotions is soo,, shaking her in my brain