#gonna fail some of my classes
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i'm not gonna get all my final papers in and it's whatever at this point.
#gonna fail some of my classes#maybe half of em#but fuck it i just want to be DONE#desperately wishing i was back on my adhd meds rn#but i'd have to jump through one william hoops to get that at this point#given that the doctor i was previously seeing no longer takes insurance#and i still don't know if my meds are even available again or if they're still out of stock/backordered#me when the tool i need to jump through the hoops of life is behind more hoops i have to jump through#me when i have to pull an all-nighter to manage the end of the semester and the caffeine isn't working anymore so now i'm just kinda fucked#me when i literally freeze in place for half an hour because i tried to write something and my brain just straight up noped out#ughhghghghhhhhhghghhghghghhhhhghggggghhhhhhh#okay im done now#sorry for the vent i will stop being Like This hopefully soon
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a herd of him
#my art#doodle#fanart#ethan winters#whenever im drawin him with zero context i usually draw him in his re7 fit#some people think hes borin in re7 but i simply do not agree. i think he is so interestin in biohazard. he was a freak from the start.#hes weird. a weirdo. a freak. hell roll with anything. hell hate it but he will roll.#i admire that in a man. god give me the strength to roll with life the way ethan winters rolls with it#he maaakes me sooo happyyy hes literally my therapy dog#i drew him instead of writin my essay again. i am gonna fail my class. he is worth it. to me 💖#anyways thats the post happy thanksgivin to all who celebrate and if you dont celebrate then happy thursday
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having a special interest again is great!! i've missed this feeling so much. the only downside is that my sleeping schedule keeps getting messed up because i'm busy talking about temeraire and/or drawing fanart
#i love you temeraire fandom!!!#gonna post more art soon i've been busy recovering from covid and trying to not fail All my classes at the same time#temeraire#i have a lot of unposted sketches#most of them berkley and little related#i have some short comic ideas too i hope i'll have time for them soon#not berkley AND little#i drew some berkleys and then i drew some littles on a separate image
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I had (4 years ago?) a 200k words wip fic in my head that was basically the abnormal class from Fav Anime Mairimashita Iruma-kun being bnha’s 2A
So, it’s a canon thing that Aizawa expeled a entire hero class before the the anime’s 1A
Keeping in mind he expeled everyone on the first day guess who went “free real state”??? THATS RIGHT I just put the entire abnormal class as general students that didn’t get into the hero course

I’m pretty sure I had an entire arc of them meeting before UA and Iruma inspiring the others to try to be heroes
Unfortunately none of them had clean school history so they didn’t get to go to ua’s hero department… or any other good hero school tbh
But fear not!! They were going to be heroes even if they had to train by themselves, just having access to ua gyms and nurse would already be a more help then otherwise
Ofc, as I wrote before, aizawa gifted a entire class vacancy
So sports festival it is
They would have absolute dominate, showing not only personal talent but also their teaming up abilities
I vaguely remember having more them 3 scenarios of how the maze team game was going to go on the second part alone
Ofc the 13 would get to the tournament stage too… rip B class hero students lmao
All of this with Iruma being quirkless, of course I did need the whole secret indentity thing
In mairimashita iruma-kun the main character has a ring, who has a spirit/conscience and is able to eat energy and helps iruma use magic
Translating this to bnha was:
Sullivan has a energy manipulation quirk and tells iruma he made the ring carry a copy of his quirk, but it’s a secret because the technology is so op (lie)
In this case I made Alikred (ring spirit), be a ex-villain boss who was victim of a quirk (?) and was stuck in a ring, but Alikred’s quirk was a kind of vampiric copy quirk so the ring can be used like Sullivan’s (the grandpa’s) quirk as long as he eventually charges i
Eventually Delkira would get his mind back and slowly start to be able to use his shadow form, of course to get to that point iruma would have had to eat some very specific quirk energy (it gives the victim quirk exhaustion) like some shapeshift quirks and idk I can’t remember the details
(I haven’t read the manga in 3028832 months but I’ve been pretty sure alikred is the missing demon king since he got his name)
Once they got into the hero course Aizawa would go nope not my problem and somehow get rid of them and kalego-sensei would be put as their home-room teacher rip him
When they get in their second year is when canon 1-A gets there… everytime someone pities Aizawa for his hellions he thinks positively “at least it’s not the demons from the abnormal class”
#mairimashita! iruma kun#bnha#mha#m!ik#there was MORE#including but not limited to all the instances where the ring failed and iruma had to troubleshoot the quirkless way#because I really wanted some quirkless story there#there was the whole thing about Sullivan being a maybe criminal in another country maybe#and for some reason falsifying his claims as a grandfather… which iruma is not upset about his parents are shit#im gonna use a tag for this au in case I remember something more and decide to post about it#2-A abnormal class AU#I’m pretty sure I was pushing my polycule agenda with this one#which todoroki was supposed to have a theory about but no one would ever believe him#Also Ameri!!!! she was in the same year as Mirio but in class B#which would change the Big 3 for sure I love them to death but I can’t in good conscience say she wouldn’t be number one
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a completely random list of songs i can perfectly picture edits to but i can’t for the life of me edit
the bomb - TIMEBOMB TIMEBOMB TIMEBOMB
suburban legends, specifically the “and you kiss me in a way that’s gonna screw me up forever” - IS SO AU TIMEBOMB and then it would switch to ekko alone on the roof for the screw me up forever bit
ceasar on a tv screen - viktor. okay this is one where i have like a whole vision so bare with me
And just for a second, I could be one of the greats (that shot of him where jayce puts the man of progress mug down and covers him then maybe another shot of jayce)
I'll be Caesar on a TV screen, champion of my fate (him injecting the shimmer into his leg
No one can tell me to stop (him leaving jayce) I'll have everything I want, anyone (him with his disciples)
And everyone will like me then (him pulling everyone up)
Everyone will like me then (jayce)
When I was a child, I never felt like a child (him falling as a kid)
I felt like an emperor (him outrunning the boat) with a city to burn (the astral plane or something
california - vi, ok another with lyrics
Come get me out of California (her in prison)
No leaves are brown (mylo and claggor dead, powder sobbing)
I miss the seasons in Missouri (her being happy with them)
My dying town (her in the lanes)
Thought I'd be cool in California (her with cait and being an enforcer)
I'd make you proud
To think I almost had it going (jinx holding up the flare)
But I let you down (them fighting)
could also be the whole bit of her returning to the lanes and even with all the changes, she still fits and just immediately is back at home, that whole sequence means so much to me
st bernard - jayvik, i can’t picture it exactly, i think it would be more viktor focused
francesca - ekko focused timebomb, are you kidding me? listen to tgat song and try to tell me it’s not literally ekko like the “if i could hold you for a minute darlin i would do it again” and the “though i knew my heart would break, i told them put me back in it, and i would do it again”
the exit - vi and jinx, how they are both kinda just stuck in time from when they were split
#arcane#suprise! for once it’s not the marauders#songs#edit#edits#i can’t edit for the life of me but i do love me some zoning out and daydreaming to songs#i’m gonna fail my classes#viktor arcane#powder arcane#jinx arcane#vi arcane#rip ekko you would have loved francesca by hozier
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thinking about sirius black's molessssss
#the anatomy is shit lmao#but hey its sirius#sirius black#sirius black fanart#AAAA my baby#padfoot#will start to learn some propper anaotmy in school soon so looking forward to that!#anyway umm#stars#canis major#hehe see what i did there#marauders era#the marauders#marauders fanart#dead gay wizards#dead gay wizards from the 70s#losver is gonna fail art class
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Spring break is GONE and I did NOTHING
#elly's posts#sighhhhh I’m gonna have to take a fail on my digital sound project cause I never even started it#I focused only on the blue castle project and nothing at all on the monster sounds#which is objectively a cooler project but I had no inspiration like whatsoever#at least I have an A in this class right now and some extra credit so I can survive one missed project right? 🥴#or I can turn it late and at least get some credit#college tag
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love submitting assignments i finished 700 words under the limit and 2 minutes before the deadline and didn’t proofread despite me starting it a month ago.
#luckily there were 2 parts and i completed the first part with a week to spare#and that would have been the really hard one to do in a rush considering it was 50 hours of work experience certificates and signed by my#manager#i think my grade for each will be ok. if i don’t fail i’ll be happy#now i only have the dissertation and ethics application to worry about#but i’m gonna get some sleep first (and miss my class in 2 hours because i haven’t slept in a whole day)
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I'm going to fucking scream oh my god why does nobody do things on time why does nobody care why why whyyy do i have to be the one to keep things in charge
#keri rambles#im nearly losing all hope of the performance for class going well. at this point i dont trust it to not have some problems#fucking. for fucks sake man. i was just support to act in it. why the fuck do i uave to#make sure the costumes and the scenery snd everything is taken care of#GHATS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY!!! NOT MH FIELD!!! IM JUST SUPOOSED TO BE THERE SND SAY A FEW MONOLOGUES AND LAUGH MANIACALLY ON SCENE!!!#WHY ARENT THE FUCKING OBJECTS WELL USE FINISHED YET!! THE PLAY IS IN 2 DAYS!!! YOU HAD SM TIME!!!#hjdnjhh#okay its fine. its whatever. fuck everyone actually. i dont care#im gonna act my fucking part out and thats all. thats all you get from me. i dont care if everyone else fails everything#as long as at least i do my part#hhhhhhhhhhrhhghhh
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Not doing great right now tbh. Probably proven by the fact that I got cut off by the tag limit. Fun fun fun fun fun.
#i think general stress is getting to me#so i guess I'll just make a list of everything that's on my mind like i usually do#doubt it'll make much of a difference but it's routine atp#first of all#there's a class that I'm pretty much guaranteed to fail#not much i can do about it at this point#i don't know how much that's gonna fuck me over#so that's scary#secondly my mom is on her bullshit again#istg the next time she says something it's gonna be hard for me not to shout at her#she only ever talks to me for 3 reasons#1. for me to do a “favor” for her (i get yelled at or guilt tripped if i try to say no)#2. to comment on my weight#or 3. to try and pressure me into getting deeper into church stuff#for that last one i don't got enough space on my plate for that shit#im not comfortable with juggling another ball as things are rn#not when all the balls im juggling are starting to deflate#im fucking up enough in all the things im engaged with as is#failing classes. not getting paid enough at work. not doing enough in my social connections. my vehicle is practically falling apart#speaking of that last bit#yeah my vehicle is due for like every maintenance thing besides an oil change#so im gonna have to pull like 500 dollars out of my ass somehow#because my job sure ain't gonna cover that#i get paid 8.25 an hour and i can only work 12 hours a week because of classes and other obligations#I've learned the hard way that making my plate fuller than that destroys me#ive been working at this place for over three years and they can't bother to give me more than a dollar over minimum wage?#so ive gotta find time to job hunt too. but how do i do that when what im doing is already taking all of my energy?#ive gotten to the point where im just kinda on and off pissed off because i don't have the energy for anything else#it feels like anytime i have a moment of reprieve there's always something as well#an errand. a surprise church event. some plan going sideways in like 4 ways. always something
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professor said “read your work aloud and youll catch your mistakes” so now im resolving to lay down on train tracks
#certified newmans own#i didnt do bad on the paper i got like a B something? didnt do worse than my worst paper grade#and im so apathetic from how insane this semester was ill take it. if i didnt fail thats all i want#wasnt all criticism either but MAN ok old man hit me with that and then go good job regardless#sir i felt like i was going insane writing this i was writhing and gagging even. but i did great on the final so !!!!#never gonna think i did good on a paper again im just gonna disappoint myself lol#‘what is (insert thing)’ brother idk either#anyway ar least i dont believe i failed the class ! B+-A range final grade i think. wish i did better on some things but alas#i actually paid attention and tried in this class so. all i can rlly do huh. A for effort i guess#alas i had a crush on him so it was hard to focus i mean what
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unfortunately every time i contemplate perpetrating a text post i get a sentence or three into it only to experience agonies over the hideousness of my own prose styling
which is putting something of a crimp in this whole 'what if i started blogging again' experiment
#there's of course also the question of like. do i owe it to myself and/or to my ~audience~ to Explain My Long Absence#or like. 'owe' is the wrong word. but there IS stuff i'm interested in unpacking#however as a guy who took an extra decade to get a BA bc [] couldn't write a paper to save [] life#and as a result kept failing classes []'d been doing extremely well in prior to the arrival of Final Paper Guillotine#(side note oh boy am i developing new pronoun problems. is this an exciting new development i will promptly be proceeding to ignore.)#(MAYBE SO.)#the idea of like. writing a whole big personal essay abt the issues i developed from the environment i turned tumblr into for myself#(yes that's awkward phrasing but i get frustrated when people get on tumblr to complain about tumblr without acknowledging that like#whatever tumblr is for you is what you've said yes‚ either actively or passively‚ to letting accrete around you#so like. not gonna let myself off the hook abt that any more than i would anyone else. i said yes a thousand times to my own ruination.)#is. well. i like to think i've learned a LITTLE about setting myself up for failure‚ lmao#i expect i WILL get into it eventually bc like. what are we all here for if not some degree of omphaloskepsis#but like. just say no to the big opening programmatic mission statement concept#instead you get the deliberately-mediocre scribble to break in the sketchbook#and maybe down the line some other stuff in dribs and drabs
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meeting w the transfer admin went well!
#day was off to a not perfect start w getting locked out lmfao#but it's been good from there#got a lot of questions/concerns answered and some good recommendations for paths forward#he's going to make me some official sort of like... plans for pathways with the bshs/bshp programs based on things we chatted abt#(that will hopefully reduce my time needing to be full time @ the campus to potentially just 2 years)#I'm gonna probably ask some more questions and maybe specifically ask the programs i'm interested in about advice for me getting accepted#I think i might apply to a community college by the end of spring and start taking some courses over the summer and see how things go#i need a lot of chemistry and physics and health terminology classes so#will be good to come in with that foundation of the reqs#I might do some campus tours this spring as well lmfao. get the whole rundown#esp since the campus is an hour drive from where i (currently) live so it'd be a bit of a jaunt#ahhh somehow i feel less nervous!!#the guy seemed pretty like... confident that I should be an okay fit even from such an unrelated field#obv dependent on how the prereqs go because it's a really rigorous course load and clinical load#but if i can get those prereqs finished all of my prior degree credits should transfer and basically cover all of my gen ed/liberal ed#so i'll really only need the last 2yrs of courses#yippee wahoo yay#this is all just super dependent on how those prereq classes go and whether i have enough of an aptitude in them to not only pass#but pass with high grades and not struggle too much comprehending the material#but hey one baby step closer :)#also like damn they structure their courses really well#they let people usually re-take quizzes because their focus is on students actually learning the material#not just the 'pass fail' bar for entrance into degrees that most unis use the courses for#personal stuff#i need to get some uhhhhh nicer looking business casual clothes asap#cause i only have like. flannels. funky button ups. black shirts.#and i only have jeans...#hahah oops....#i'm excited idk. what i do next is still pretty open but it feels good to narrow down at least an option or two that feel like. feasible#my heart still like
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He doesn’t admit but when we would play house as kids on the playground, I’d hate the typical playing house where you take the roles of parents child etc and would instead try to write a fantasy scenario of my own with whatever dolls and toys we had at hand and Caleb would be so annoyed about me refusing to play his wife- he would still play along but would pout a little afterwards
#😔😔😔😔#I’m thinking more of the fic I’m gonna write and guys ngl I think it’ll have like some#core moments from my childhood#was thinking abt some stuff that had happened and my folks happened to discuss it at dinner too so now w refreshed memories jsjfjfjf#when I complain about the class end of year dance we need to do and how according to it my ‘partner’ should tweak my cheek- caleb gets soooo#pissy shjfjjf but he’s so giddy and happy to hear me complain about it he can just picture me backing away every time the poor guy attempts#to do so at the end of the dance only to fail and the scene makes him giggle#he wonders if that was him instead would I have let him then (the answer is yes…)#war of the foxes
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I'm so eepyyyy... might go to bed soon..
#ᗢ . meow!! checking in — yapping ﹒🎧#probably gonna have to actually got to school tomorrow and then BAM!!! exams the next three days..#at least the last two are half days.. rghhHHHhjshensnsdnnf#I'M HIGHKEY SUPER SILLY SCARED FOR MY EXAMS UM UM IT'S NOT GOOD AT ALL SOME ARE A DECIDING FACTOR#PLS FOR FUCKS SAKE DO NOT LET ME FAIL FRENCH TJATS FUCKING EMBARRASSING..#I HAVE AND E 57% DON'T DO THIS TO MEEEEE SOBBING#AND A NIT HIGH GRADE D IN ENGLISH.. IF I FAIL A CLASS I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY CRY I'VE NEVER FAILED A CLASS BEFORE#ABD I NEVER DO SOBBING SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP
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i got a fucking 98 on my database homework 👁️👁️
#y'all do not understand#basically this class is the hardest in my major over half the students fail or drop out#there's like 4 hw assignments a midterm (25%) and a final (25%) (and some quizzes 10%) and each hw is worth 10%#only we do practice and the hw is like exams and we aren't allowed to talk to other students about the course material#it's extremely hard & specific & frankly the guy is way too harsh a critic to be a prof#that being said i messed up the labeling on one collumn but otherwise got a 98 which is crazy good#honestly in disbelief i cried so hard about that hw#anyways i'm going to bed i'm gonna be so screwed at work tomorrow it's fine#rose.txt
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