#good lord it was fun making the background and effects and rendering...everything in here.

[teakoodrawz]

✨

[seenashwrite]

Conversations With The Commissioner: Crappy Monsters In Barber Shops, a.k.a. Nash's First Headcanon + Wine = The Image I’ll Never Be Able To Top

@lipstickandwhiskey kindly thought to tag me when she saw a jovial post that reminded her of my disappointment in the lack of dinosaurs in the *alternate world and hoped to cheer me, but little did she know [mainly because I completely brain farted on posting this way-back-when] this had been addressed. In an objectively bizarre way. Admittedly.

FYI: Spit-take warning in effect, also cursing, should you choose to carry on

Preamble

* Dear SPN Writers' Room*: I'm not calling it The Bad Place, because I'm done with y'all ripping from other stuff, in this case, a beyond phenomenal show - hey! you do recognize carefully crafted season arcs when you see it! - even if y'all thought it was a homage, it's not since viewers of the show "The Good Place" already know about The Bad Place and it's not a physical nightmare, it's a psychological nightmare.

Pay. Attention. Stop ripping from well-known pop culture shit without (1) making sure the “homage” is used correctly, (2) double-checking that something similar hasn't been done before and, if so, (3) adding your own cheeky-sneaky spin. Not doing so makes you look, at best, like hacks, at worst, like doofy dipshits, particularly when it is from shows in your same genre - like a renowned show from the same fucking network that hadn't even ended their run but a year and a half prior to when yours started - and wrapping up *your* season with a title that was an iconic element from an iconic show [it was iconic, for several reasons, that's an essay for another time] which was the basis for everything from a/possibly *the* pivotal moment in the series and which was tied to many of the composer's pieces for the soundtrack, as it was a central thread. TV Tropes is your friend.

Tangentially related, while we're here:

[Shep as Romo Lampkin]

I digress.  

The Background

The Commissioner and I pop a cork, start talking about the Wayward pilot. We don't say a word about the scripting or the acting [because if we do, I go down a Dolly Deadeyes road, and nobody wants that]. Rather, we do a deep dive on the things that resemble other things and postulate how this came to be. Not in the minds of the peeps behind it, no, the dive comes via what the youths call a "headcanon". I've never had one before, I don't think, and I'm proud this is the first.

Oh, and a housekeeping side note: While my observations/the conversing began that night, the main convo/legit start on the image at the bottom happened later on. This has been run through the Nash snark filter for funsies, which is why the tone is the same for the whole conversation as, in truth, I have little clear memory of a lot of this, and the time taken for the assemblage of the image took longer than a conversation's worth, since the beginnings were sponsored by wine but it had to be done, it's how I combat insomnia and after seeing the monsters, I needed to purge my feelings of.... well....

The Beginning

After a verbal review (an accosting-of, really) of both Well-Coiffed Predator in a Bane Mask and Dollar Store Doomsday from the Wayward pilot, we begin discussing theories on how exactly this came to be in the alt world. Everything below is based on (a) the fact that New!Kaia's outfit denotes the presence of some sort of killa shopping and/or a hella talented Matrix-obsessed seamstress in the alt-world, therefore why not additional styling like a salon, and (b) the fact that we were lit on wine.

And the Predator rip - who, in the concept art, does not appear rippy-offy, it should be noted - got that mask somehow. He's either homaging Bane all over his face [his own face, not the other-way-'round] or he's gotten hold of one of the real things, modded it a touch to account for the spread of his general mouth region. Seems their temp name is the generic supernatural/folklore catch-all that I was vaguely aware of - "Canid" - and that some dude who's apparently of import on the show hates it, and I concur because all I can think of when I see the name is Candida. The Commissioner asked for a reminder, and I explained what that infection was and that now upon learning the creature’s name, I looked upon it as a yeast infection made sentient. The copious amounts of viscous discharge helps that along.

This then got a general science light bulb to pop, and we again consulted the googles, and boo-yah:

It's a dog. That. That up there, that I linked to. A daaaawwwwg.

No, not a if-this-is-a-dog-then-what-does-the-owner-look-like, maybe-they're-just-disgruntled-puppy-mill-alums type of WTF. The WTF is because I, once again, am wondering if at any point people over yonder are bothering to check shit out with this cool new thing called google. I know. It's a novel suggestion.

Somebody sure as shit used said googlins for squid beak - it's a touch birdy beak, but nah, slimy squid goes better with the aesthetic - and I guess they had to, as they already gave the far superior on the creepy scale pacu teeth to the Dollar Store Doomsday.

Because we were sneery and feeling gross at this point, we needed something fun, so we refilled on wine, and decided to make a mash-up image of the “inspirations” [to be clear: The Commissioner decided I should make a mash-up]. We were also feeling gross after looking at all that above, so for an eye sorbet, we needed some pretty, and STAT. We both instantly knew what would do the trick.

We start the conversation with Bane.

The Conversation

[looking at still from that Batman movie Bane was in; neither of us have cared to clarify which of the Nolan B-mans it was, because we don't care]

The Commissioner: He is so smooth, like, everything, even the fit of the clothes.

Nash: I'll never forget his turn as young Picard in that shit 'Trek movie, what was it called?

[we do not look it up; digression discussion of the awesomeness that is Sir Patrick Stewart]

TC: What's in his hand? Is that a riding crop? Or a shuffleboard thing?

N: Yes, exactly, Bane took a break from beating up Batman to shuffle. Nooooo. He got drug away from riding his horsey----

TC: YOU MUST MEAN HIS STALLION - if he rides horses, they are buff

N: ---to bring the mask, and is he pissed about it?

TC: No. No, because he is a dollbaby - he loves dogs.

N: You're mixing Tom Hardy with Bane.

TC: NO.

N: [realizing] BECAUSE THAT IS A DOG THING, THAT CREATURE IS DOG

[digression googles to look at pics/vids of Tom Hardy with pups]

N: Oh, no, wait - can we make it a putter? Like he was on his way to golf?

TC: But he still doesn't mind, because he's good guy Bane? And golf sucks? Oh hell yes.

[putter image sought; we go back to staring at Hardy, sip wine for untold moments]

N: And Preddie's all - Oh Bane, no! I couldn't possibly! Aren't these custom made? But he's gripping the shit out of it, like, pry it from my hands, bitches.

TC: And he takes a sniff when nobody's looking and swoons. *SWOONS*

N: Freaked-out stylist saw, though, and a touch of pee slips out, because it was weird before, but now shit's kicked off.

TC: Oh, she's already wet her pants at least once, absolutely. Do we need to add her?

N: No, she's in the bathroom.

TC: But you know who we should add.

[Image of 1990s Leonardo Di Caprio is immediately sought; we love the R+J still too much for words and select it with zero pause]

N: But why?

TC: You know he's gonna end up bopping  around to other worlds anyhow, and for Bane to be here, there must be other rifts----

N: Low-Sugar Low-Fat Low-Calorie Eye of Saurons?

TC: ----so they're babysitting.

N: THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE [gulp of wine]  Hey, you know who should be his foster parents if he’s bopping around to all points?

TC: Is it some side-character who's off-show at the moment? So we can get the show back to, um, Sam and Dean?

N: Chuck and Amara.

TC: You remember they're brother and sister, right?

N: [side-eye] Okay.

TC: They are. It's canon.

N: OKAAAY.  [stares at Leo] Alright, what are we having him do? Satan's crotch goblin?

TC: [possibly disgusted with me] Pencils.

N: YES I KNOW WHAT TO DO they need to keep him busy so they just keep giving him piles of pencils to sharpen, and he's distressed because there's no more and the sharpener’s motor burnt out.

TC: [touch of a spit take]

[we stare at the collection of images; it is a bitch to find a clear shot of a Pred sitting, but we need him in a barber chair; I will ultimately cobble it from three separate images; it was worth every goddamn minute]

TC: Okay, now what about that thing? The thing? Deadpool?

N: No he was something else, that's Reynolds. Deadshot? Wait, hang on.

[we watch the Bob Ross Deadpool thing, maybe twice, I have no idea]

TC: What'd you say?

N: I dunno.

TC: Me neither I just remember thinking you were wrong.

N: [looks it up, or we'll be here all week] DOOMSDAY

TC: Stop, stop, stop - didn't we also say Lord of the Rings cave troll?

N: I can't remember if it was me or somebody else.

TC: Do cave troll.

[we search]

N: Holy shit. He's in the club.

[image chosen; best one is of him pointing; I later add the touch of a framed photo of King Kong that's inexplicably hanging in the barber shop, also next to it a photo of Captain Shitty Render]

N: But Doomsday.

TC: Do it.

[image chosen; this was also a bitch, I had to blur and cobble and blend and hide part of his bottom half because ZACK SNYDER LOVES SHOOTING EVERYTHING LIKE WE'RE IN A DANK CAVE]

N: They're so glad Bane pulls through, because Preddy won't shut the fuck up about him.

TC: It's because his last boyfriend was garbage, keeps hanging out with humans, and Bane's loyal, like he was to that chick from Inception, like----

N: LIKE DOG

[the bottle is empty; we are sleepy]

The Results

I regret not adding an aquarium with a squid.

The Aftermath

Both TC and my Tumblr wife @butiaintgonnaloveem had reactions that can nicely tuck under the umbrella of [in concerned tone] Nash are you okay, like, is life beating you down somehow, this is crazypants which I appreciate from the latter, but as for the former I pointed out that they are my enabler/dealer/peer-pressurer in every bit of this.

There is no end to this post. 

[thebackloggamer]

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow

I love Castlevania. I’ve recently played most of the games in the series and have enjoyed them greatly. Lords of Shadow has always intrigued me, but now that I have actual real experience with the series, I knew I had to move it up my backlog.

Here is a game sporting the name of one of the most legendary and long lived video game franchises and yet it has very little to do with the games that came before it. Instead of the series’ now classic 2D-platformer-action-adventure-RPG style, this one is straight up a 3D action-adventure hack and slash game à la God of War or Devil May Cry.

Also, there’s a completely original story that reboots the series and has nothing to do with the lore and events that have transpired during the series’ history. There are certain nods to the old games for sure. We sill play as a Belmont; and the theme for enemies and locations is similar. We still have demons, vampires, werewolves and all manner of creatures of the night. Other than that, however, this is a completely new world with new characters, lore and plot.

Well, it may not be classic Castlevania but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a good game... Well I think that’s true and, overall, I found this to be a pretty good, albeit flawed, game. Let’s get the bad stuff out of the way first.

The bad stuff

This game has many flaws gameplay wise. I think the most egregious one is the extensive use of invisible walls. At the earlier parts of the game, if felt like almost everywhere I tried to go there was an invisible wall. There was so much restriction of movement. That was beyond frustrating to me. And I never care too much, let alone complain, about things like these in games. But here, I felt it was just too much.

The worst part is that most of them are located in places where there’s no visual cue whatsoever that would tell you you can’t walk or jump  through. I would go as far as to say that some places were even inviting until you tried to go through and hit the damn wall. Anyway, the good thing is that this problem gets so much less severe as the game progresses. I don’t know if it was just me getting used to it but later in the game these issues were basically all but gone. Those early levels though... Ugh. Not a fan.

In this corridor, you can only walk over the blue area :(

The invisible walls problem is part of a bigger issue of the game not effectively communicating what actions the player can and can’t do at any given moment. This is specifically apparent with the rappel mechanic, where you are always able to climb up and down the rope but only sometimes you can and run along the wall to the left or right in a sort of swinging motion. The game never tells you or lets you know when you can and when you can not.

Also, another part that I really found troublesome was the camera work. This game is a 3rd person action game but you can’t freely control the camera. The camera is always fixed and, as you move from scene to scene it moves around. Sort of like classic Resident Evil (1, 2, 3 and Code Veronica) where the camera changes as you traverse corridors and rooms. The difference is that Resident Evil had pre-rendered backgrounds and system limitations that the developers had to deal with. I don’t understand why a 3D action game from last generation would decide to go with a camera design like that. Anyway, that’s beside the point. To be fair, games like Devil May Cry and God of War (games from which Lords of Shadow borrows a lot in terms of game design) also use this style of camera. The problem here was that sometimes I felt it was disorienting, prompting one to get lost in some of the more intricate levels. I don’t want to make this sound like it’s a big deal though, because it’s not. It’s nevertheless, something that bothered me from time to time.

The good stuff

Despite its (sometimes infuriating) flaws, I ended up greatly enjoying this game. I think the aspect where this game excels the most is in its overall presentation. The game looks truly great with gorgeous vistas and flashy special effects. There’s also great variety in environments: we’ve got swamps, towers, lost cities, caves and everything in between. The overall art direction is incredible, from the characters to the enemies to the levels. Everything looks beautiful.

Oh yeah take it all in.

Even the menus look great. The menus in this game are stylized as a book that you use to look up things like attack combos, enemies descriptions and weaknesses, weapons, sub-weapons and other collectibles. Everything is accompanied with some beautiful hand drawn art. For the combos, there are even small hand drawn animations that show Gabriel (the protagonist, who you play as) performing them. An overall a great execution.

The art in these menus is beautiful.

I specially like how much care was put into building the world. Not only are the characters expertly designed, but there’s also lore that further enhances both the world and the game’s plot by shedding light into how things are and how they used to be in this universe. It certainly looks like the developers put a ton of effort in building a strong foundation for a new series mythos. I think they succeeded in that.

Also the game’s plot itself is pretty enjoyable. With fun characters and situations and good twists and turns.

In terms of game mechanics, the game is your typical God of War-esque, action affair. There are weak and heavy attack buttons that when pushed repeatedly chain together into various combos that you unlock as you progress trough the game and get stronger. There are two types of magic: blue and red. Using the red one makes you hit harder while the blue one replenishes your health with each hit. These are expendable resources, so managing them smartly is in your best interest. Also, there’s a focus mechanic that kicks in if you fight without getting hit for a while. This makes enemies drop magic replenishing items which you need to chose if it goes to the blue or the red magic. 

There are also your usual dodge, block and counter mechanics. Counters are interesting. They are performed by blocking at the last minute before getting hit. Successful counters are rewarded by a boost in focus, but getting hit makes one lose all of their focus. This introduces a nice risk vs reward mechanic because you need to decide if you want to risk getting hit by trying to counter instead of just dodging.

All of these together make for a level of strategy that results in a game that rewards finesse, preventing the battles to degrading into mindless button mashing.

The combat system is pretty interesting overall. Just complex enough to have a good time but not be overwhelmed. It truly shines with some of the game’s most inventive bosses and enemies that put your skills to the test. Not everything is flawless here though as some of the bosses are just plain cheap making for some frustrating difficulty spikes. Other are just plain boring. Luckily most of them are pretty fun and unique.

At the end of the day, in spite of its flaws, I really enjoyed Castlevania: Lords of Shadow. It’s a beautiful looking game with some pretty cool environments and a fun combat style. It even got me interested in playing the sequel.

[lets-get-fictional]

Do you have any tips on writing an insecure oc with low self esteem issues. (About weight, academics, intelligence, appearance etc(

Hi there! Thanks so much for your question! It’s great that you want to build nuanced, relatable characters, portraying them with insecurity. 

Insecure Characters

When writing a character with insecurity, I think a lot of it comes down to how the character views themselves in relation to other people. This, however, is portrayed very differently based on whether or not this is a viewpoint character - so I’ll go in-depth with both. Be that as it may, there are a few things that apply in either case. Insecurity is often rooted in the character’s perception of other people, whether this be a past experience that led them to this way of thinking, or an ongoing situation that perpetuates this low self-esteem. So in either case, the insecurity of a character has to be expressed through their relationships, in comparing themselves to others. This can either be an outward expression, actively conveying contempt for other people for being better than them in some aspect, or this can be a very hidden aspect of the character, something they don’t reveal to others very often.

Viewpoint Characters

    One of the strongest ways to express the insecurity of a character if they are the viewpoint character is through their discussion about the people around them, subsequently comparing these people to themselves. For example, your character may have a friend, or a sibling, or even an enemy that they perceive to be better than they in some aspect. So, when your character talks about this person, their thoughts and voice will reflect the reverence they have for them, revealing their own insecurity. There are a couple aspects of this that I will go into:

Thoughts

- Your OC’s thoughts should be rich in their descriptions of other people to showcase this insecurity. However, it doesn’t have to be super explicit: simple word choice can make a huge difference. If your OC refers to another character in their thoughts with grander description than they do themselves, this can make their insecurities implied, without the character coming off as whiny or repetitive.

- The idolization of another character can also be effective, having a specific figure that your OC looks up to and wants to model themselves after, and therefore is constantly reprimanding themselves for not being just like their idol.

- Negative self-talk is definitely a big one. This doesn’t have to revolve around any other character in the story, and can be focused purely on the OCs perception of their supposed flaws/weaknesses. Taking any mistakes this character makes, and having them blow it up in their mind to make it bigger and scarier than what it actually is. Additionally, a tendency to focus on all of their negative aspects, with little acknowledgement of their positive traits and any good things they may have done. Impressive things they’ve done often go unnoticed in their own minds, and they don’t give themselves enough credit, even when credit is due.

Dialogue/Actions

- I want to go more into dialogue in the second section, but here especially I want to talk about balancing the difference between your characters inner thoughts (see above) versus what they say out loud, and how this will differ based on personality/who they’re speaking to/the specific situation/etc. A lot of this comes down to your characters relationships with others, and whether these are relationships of trust/respect/disdain/etc.

- It is very important as a writer to know the distinction between how your character views themselves, and how the other characters view them, as it will affect every interaction, every piece of dialogue, everything about how the story progresses.

- Some characters (ie. Bakugou Katsuki of My Hero Academia, Lilo of Lilo & Stitch) express their insecurities outward. For example, by way of aggression - they lash out when they feel they’re being attacked, whether the attack be verbal or physical, and respond with their own form of weaponry by way of self protection. Or, in other words, feigning confidence, that in some cases can bleed into arrogance. No one is allowed to see that they are insecure, no one is allowed to see what they’re afraid of. This is made even more powerful if you have choice scenes later on down the line, where this veil of confidence is broken under pressure, in a high intensity situation, revealing to others at least part of the truth about why they act the way that they do.

- Tying back to the dialogue: When you have a character that chooses to lash out at others due to their own insecurity, it provides a sharp contrast to their inner monologue about themselves, providing a lot of tension. It is less likely that the other characters will pick up on their insecurity, and then you have a sort of dramatic irony effect because the reader knows how the insecurity is really affecting your OC in the face of whatever antagonist it is that they have to face, while the other characters may not.

- Other characters (ie. Violet Parr of The Incredibles) express their insecurities inward. Instead of lashing out, they prefer to close in on themselves, shrinking into the background to avoid being noticed, as opposed to putting on a show of confidence to hide said self-doubt. They may or may not be aware that this is putting their insecurities moreso on display, but it just as much as a defense mechanism as lashing out. They hide in the background to protect themselves from being judged, made fun of, or for fear of doing some wrong or messing up. 

- In this case, it is more likely that the other characters will learn very quickly that this person is unsure of themselves, which will change how they interact with them. Again, very dependent upon individual personalities.  

Non-Viewpoint Characters

    Insecurities are not always easily/readily noticeable in other people. A person can seem sure of themselves, confident, even cocky, but keep their insecurities hidden away, often as a defense mechanism, to avoid showing weakness, or burdening others with their worries. And if you’re not using your OC as a viewpoint character, you don’t have the benefit of the inner monologue to make these insecurities explicit, which means all of it will have to come through through the dialogue and their actions. To say it again: everyone deals with insecurity differently, so there is more than one way to portray it.

Dialogue/Actions

- I’m going to be referring back to the two broad models I discussed in the Viewpoint Characters section, as the same archetypes still apply.

- For those characters who express their insecurities outward, the dialogue ought to sound more confident, more sure of itself, unless you’re having a more vulnerable moment, which should be considerably rare to maintain a certain amount of impact. These sorts of characters may like to dominate a conversation to make sure that no one is underestimating them, and they may be likely to project their insecurities onto other people, reverting to throwing insults, name-calling, etc. in a show of asserting dominance. Or, if they’re less aggressive, less loud, then they hold their own in a conversation despite insecurity. Think Aragorn of Lord of the Rings. He didn’t think he was at all fit to be the ruler of men, couldn’t understand for the life of him why he’d been chosen - but he acted outward instead of inward, working in spite of his insecurity instead of because of it.

- One technique is to have the character constantly deflecting away from the topic of their insecurity in conversation, to avoid any sort of intimate discussion. They constantly claim that they can handle it, that they have everything under control, even though on the inside they’re terrified. This can be done either for their own sake, to prevent everyone else from finding them weak, or this can be done for the sake of others, providing strength to their peers by being strong themselves.

- For example, you can have a character who is super supportive to other characters, always boosting everybody else up, when in secret they could be constantly worried about how they look, how they measure up in strength or intelligence to the rest of their peers, any number of things. No one exists without a little insecurity, even those who may seem sure of themselves without having to step on everyone else’s toes to feel that way.

- They are more likely to challenge other characters, whether with malice or nobility, eager and ready to put themselves out there.

- For some, this means stepping on those they believe to be inferior, or rather, treating others as if they are inferior in an attempt to make themselves feel better. Not all outward expressing characters do this, but it can be effective for some.

- For those characters who express their insecurities inward, their dialogue is likely to be more reserved. Their low self-esteem has rendered them somewhat trapped in their own fear - either preventing them from taking action, or causing them to take action in the direction away from whatever they are afraid of. So if your character is insecure about their intelligence level, and is afraid of being seen as unintelligent, or ignorant, then they will run from any situation that will put them on the spot to make use of their intelligence, or that would allow others to scrutinize what they know. They are likely to dodge these situations, and avoid volunteering to take take part in related activities.

- They are less likely to be confrontational, especially in the presence of those they admire, or those who they consider superior, for fear of being attacked for what they’re unconfident about.

A final note: This is all dependent as well upon the personality of your OC. Insecurity manifests differently in everyone, and everyone both deals with and expresses their insecurities differently. So depending on the defining traits this character has, you can play on their self-esteem in many ways, and try out different techniques to see what really works for both you and the character.

Thanks so much again for your question, I hope this was helpful to you! If you have any other questions, don’t hesitate to shoot us an ask.

Good luck, and happy writing!

- Mod Daenerys

If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask us!