#gosh i need to go to the archives clearly...

[variousqueerthings]

wow.

the mental gymnastics of "famous macho actor dt is playing feminine and therefore we can intuit that this production thinks femininity is weak (because femininity is weak)" is fascinating to me. and no critical queer or intersectional feminist reads were accessed on this day 😩

i will say, between this and the breakfast show lady outright saying "you look like a woman!!!" there's an interesting paper to write about the gender of richard ii in the play, david tennant's portrayal, and modern day transphobia in a microcosm

the discomfort with which some people put their lens on the production and richard ii generally (the idea that it's "opaque" or his character's emotions and motivations are hard to gauge) bubbling beneath the surface of famous actor david tennant is doing this one out of the history plays and not *doesnt spin wheel that hard* henry v who is so much more accessible?? and now he looks like a woman!

anyway: "the play in which dt was just so hot and gender transgressive it made everyone want to kill her... slut." #feministreads

lgbt hcs for dt's shakespeare roles

touchstone - genderfluid but he doesn't know what that is. doesn't particularly care abt the gender of the person he dates. though he has only been in relationships w women and also he cannot keep a relationship down for more than 2 months

antipholus of syracuse - cishet man. but this is incidental what really matters is that i think he is someone who was rejected by every girl he tried to confess his eternal and undying love towards

romeo - this is a he/him lesbian. just trust me on this one

berowne - the one disaster bi in a friend group of cishet men. someone please free him!

hamlet - trans man obviously bc this is hamlet. ace and bi as well but specifically in the sense that i feel like he hooked up with guildenstern one time and the sex was so terrible he spent a solid few years believing he was straight

benedick - the most he/they aroace bisexual you'll ever see in your life

richard ii - gay & nonbinary transfem. in fact so transfem that david tennant the actor started getting microaggressed by interviewers in real life

macbeth - nonbinary probably but he is currently plotting a whole bunch of murders and sinking himself further & further into the Blood so he doesn't have the time to think about that rn

[starwarsmum]

Day 24,! Only 1 week left 😱 prompt today is Fall in Love Alone

@maribat-calendar-events

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng, if you don't get your ass in gear and go ask Tim out I'm going to get Césaire to come beat you up,” Chloé declared, glaring down at the shorter woman.

“Why is that the threat you're going with?” Marinette asked, frowning up at Chloé from where she lay on the sofa. They were relaxing in New York for the day, Chloé having demanded her presence. It had been a pretty good day so far, watching cheesy movies and critiquing different fashion magazines.

“Because you'll listen to her,” Chloé said with a shrug. And Marinette couldn't argue the fact, so she nodded and pulled a notebook out to start plotting.

_ _ _

Dick was still telling Tim to hold off on talking to Marinette about anything serious but it was beginning to wear on him. So when she sent a message asking if he wanted to get coffee, he didn't hesitate.

When he spotted her outside the coffee shop, his heart jumped in his chest. She was wearing a hoodie that looked suspiciously like the one she had made for him, though smaller and with a subtle polka dot pattern across the pockets and hem.

“Tim! Gosh, it feels like I haven't seen you in forever,” she said, a light blush dusting her freckles. “Not been working too hard, I hope.”

“Twenty hours a day is healthy, right?” He joked, holding open the café door for her. She gave a tinkling laugh and he grinned at her as they joined the queue. She seemed slightly on edge and he wondered if she was thinking about all the times they had been interrupted by his family, like he was. “I'm sorry it's been so long.”

“Don't be, I understand needing to put other things first,” she said. “But that reminds me, I should sit down and have an actual conversation with Dick and Bruce soon. I'm sure they have questions for me.”

“Not that they're entitled to them,” he muttered darkly which made her laugh. They stopped talking to order their coffee and the silence stayed while they waited. They got their order to go and started walking through the streets of Gotham.

“Do you mind if we take the coffee back to my place? There's something I wanted to talk to you about.”

He agreed, ignoring the voice of Dick reminding him he was supposed to be giving them space to investigate. Marinette was right, he'd given them plenty of time to find anything incriminating so he had no reason not to spend time with her.

She invited him in and his eyes flashed to the window that he had entered through last time. He winced and turned away from it, not wanting to think about that evening. Marinette clearly thought otherwise because she laughed as she sat down at the kitchen table, pushing some macarons towards him.

“I'm glad we aren't fighting against a zombie this time. Getting strapped to a chair with zip ties is not my idea of a good time.”

“Noted,” he said solemnly. Then he blushed because that didn't sound as light and teasing as he'd meant it to. They were sitting closely enough that she could probably feel the heat of his cheeks. “I just- I mean- it was meant to be a joke.”

Marinette watched him get flustered and tried not to giggle too much. She had far too much caffeine and anxiety in her system, a lack of sleep from plotting and baking the night before making her more high strung than usual. So, of course, her plans went to hell as she opened her mouth again

“I like you.”

Tim's eyes were wide when he looked at her, and she steamrolled straight through. In for a penny, she thought grimly.

“I know you probably don't feel the same - god, I'm always the one that falls hard for people that don't want me - but if I didn't tell you it was going to kill me,” she said, starting to blush to her roots. 

“Marinette, wait, I-”

“And you don't have to worry about letting me down easy, it's not going to change how we work together! It's not like I haven't had time to get used to how I feel, but I thought before that, maybe, you might have felt the same. But then things haven't really-”

“Marinette, can you stop for a second?” Tim half shouted, grabbing her shoulders. Her mouth snapped closed and he let his hands slide down to capture her hands. “Thanks. I wasn't planning on letting you down easily.”

“Oh. I mean, of course, this was hugely inappropriate considering you're technically my boss,” she said, mortification creeping in. “Um, if- if you're going to fire me, I understand-”

“What? No, no, I mean I don't want to let you down at all!” He half shouted, hands tightening around hers. She blinked at him, surprised, mouth dropping open slightly. Her cheeks coloured again and he ran a hand through his hair. “God, I'm so bad at this. I like you too, and I would love to go on a date with you.”

“Oh. Huh,” Marinette said, mind going blank. She hadn't really expected him to accept. She'd really only agreed to ask him because she figured it was best to get it out there before she revealed that she was Ladybug to the Bats. “I was not expecting that.”

“Yeah, I gathered,” Tim said, brushing her bangs out of her eyes. “And we should probably work out some things, like how we're going to tell B and Dick, but…I'm happy that you feel the same. I've been driving myself crazy trying to come up with a way to ask you out without it feeling like pressure. You know, because of the whole…bird thing.”

“Oh, yeah, that doesn't bother me,” she said distractedly, waving her now free hand. “I mean, it would be hypocritical, considering my own work as a hero.”

“I think using a magical artifact once to help a team out is a little different to-”

“Oh, no, I meant because I'm Ladybug,” Marinette said with a smile. Tim blinked at her, probably having his own moment of confusion.

“Wait, you're what?!”

_ _ _

When Tim left that evening, they had a game plan and he was determined to start it as soon as possible. Marinette had apparently already put a lot of thought into it so planning had been fairly stress free for him.

Which was good, because his brain was still trying to combine the two people in his head. Marinette, the cute, passionate designer, was Ladybug, the driven, strong leader? It seemed almost painfully obvious when he thought back to the way he'd met them both but it was like his brain didn't want them to be the same person.

He grinned at his phone when she messaged to say goodnight before turning to plan out a message for Dick and Bruce.

[ali-anne-undertale-stoof]

Greetings, everyone! Chapter 13 is now up!

Chapter 13: Nostalgia

There's nothing like waking up on a Thursday in the New Year at 2 in the afternoon, not getting dressed and spending the entire day on the couch watching TV, surrounded by pillows, blankets, and snacks to enjoy.

And a Mew Mew plushie doll.

What? Isn't this supposed to be about Sans? Nope, it's Alphys!

After working all night on her project (actually, it's more like procrastinating and getting distracted by Mew Mew merch on her phone), Alphys deserved a break. And what better break than her favourite movie, Mew Mew Kissy Cutie?! The first film, of course. The second one sucks.

Maybe she'll even binge the series after-

Knock knock knock!

"AAEEE!!!"

Alphys' shriek rang through the apartment. A visitor?! Who would visit HER?! Unless it's... Oh, no.

Knock knock knock!

She forgot.

Knock knock knock!

No nonono no no no! What is she gonna say to him?!

Knockity knock knock...

Alphys paced up and down her living room, biting her fingernails. Is he angry at her?

Knock knockknock knock knock! Knock!

Oh gosh he's knocking so much. What is she gonna say? What is she gonna do?!

Loooowwwww knoooooocks.

She has to answer the door.

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh knoooooocks!!!

Come on, Alphys. Just. Answer. The. Door.

Rhythmic knocking.

ANSWER THE DOOR!!!

The knocks sound almost melodic.

Okay. On three. Three...

Two...

One!

Alphys opened the door, and immediately she almost got hit with a skeletal fist. It's a good thing he pulled it away before it could hit her, but it still made her flinch!

"Eep!"

"whoa, whoa." The skeletal guest chuckled sheepishly. "my bad. heh."

"N-No, it's fine!" Alphys returned his sheepish chuckle, except hers sounded like she was on the verge of a panic attack. And she was. Clearly.

Just one look at the popcorn bucket Sans brought (it came up to his waistline... how?), and Alphys finally broke.

"Oh my god, I completely forgot about our hang out!"

Sans was taken back by Alphys frantic tip-tapping and spinning around, but at the same time, it felt familiar to him.

"al-"

"I'm still in my pajamas! My apartment is a mess!"

Sans raised his hands to try to quell her. "alphys-

"I'm such a bad friend! How could I have forgotten about our-"

"alphys!"

Alphys stopped and tried not to hyperventilate in Sans' face. Oh god no... This was a terrible start to the day...

Sans took a breath and maintained his composure. "buddy, it's fine. i get it, really. we could all use a lazy day from time to time, am i right?"

Alphys finally released the tension from her shoulders. "Yeah... Sorry."

"fuhgeddaboudit. it's no skin off my nose."

Sans was pleased to see the small smirk on Alphys' face as she shook her head. Even an eye roll is an improvement over complete panic, so Sans deemed his joke a success.

"What are you like?"

"heh heh. so," Sans tapped in curiously. "what're you plannin'?"

"Oh, u-uh... Stuff..." Quick, think of something cool, think of something cool! "I was g-gonna do, uh... science experiments!"

Sans' deadpan look told Alphys everything she needed to know.

"Um... With explosions?"

Oh god, he raised a bone brow.

She gave in. "Fine, I was going to watch anime all day."

"so, you're a weeb?"

HISSSSSS!

"hey, that's cool. i've never seen anime before, anyway, so who am i to judge you when i haven't seen it?"

"You've... never seen... anime before?"

Sans closed his eyes and shrugged. Oh. Delta. It was like something switched inside her brain, because all of a sudden, Alphys. went. off!

"Oh my god, you haven't seen anime! Oh my gosh, I have so much to show you, I'm just watching this movie called Mew Mew Kissy Cutie, have you heard of it?"

Sans attempted to speak, but he was immediately cut off.

"Of course you might not have! That means I get to show you, come in, come in!"

Before Sans could even try to process what he was hearing, Alphys grabbed his free arm and yanked him into the apartment.

Honestly? Sans didn't understand why she was panicking so much. His own room looked much worse than her apartment. Then again, his room was filled with paperwork and chisp packets from his- Oh, and she's still going!

"So it's about this magical cat girl called Mew Mew who can mind control people when she kisses them, and they do pretty much anything for her, but-"

"alphys, wow! heh heh, okay!"

"-ends get upset about it, BUT IF SHE MISSES THE KISS, SHE- Ha ha... Ha ha... yeah..."

Everything is awkward! Hooray! Luckily, it didn't stay awkward for long.

Sans' smile broke into a more genuine one. "welp, if you like it so much, then i have to give it a try, right?"

The pure joy on Alphys' face was something Sans is never going to forget. And he betted to himself that if he genuinely does end up enjoying her favourite anime, that joy is only going to increase from here on out. To Sans, there's nothing better than making his friends smile. And that's how they got to this point!

"O-Okay... Let's begin..."

--------

One movie and two episodes later, Sans noticed that Alphys kept alternating her gaze between the screen and Sans' expression. While his facial expression didn't change much, he made a bit more effort to display his likeness for the show. After all, he IS genuinely enjoying it, even though it's a little strange. But hey! Strange doesn't equal bad! And it was definitely good! Why doesn't this show up on cable? Maybe then he would watch TV more instead of- never mind.

The only downside to this was that Sans had to bite back a lot of comments. When he watches movies with his brother, he enjoys really tearing into the films, pointing out all the logical inconsistencies and dumb things the characters do. It's a blast! Unfortunately, he wasn't sure if it would go over well with Alphys, especially since she had nothing but praise for the show. Maybe he'll be more open when they become closer friends later down the line. But for now, he has to hold his metaphorical tongue.

The apartment was dark. Calm. Peaceful. A perfect time to open up to each other.

"Hey, Sans?"

"hm?"

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"i'm all auditory ossicles, buddy."

Alphys rolled her eyes and pushed Sans with a smirk. Sans laughed into the side of the sofa before Alphys got serious again.

"You, um, know about my project?"

"yup. so, do i get to help with that at all?"

Oh, right. He did offer to help her. Or was it the other way around. Either way, Alphys knew that Sans wanted to help. But... She didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve a friend like him. She's nowhere near as good as he, or the king, thinks she is. And once Sans sees that, then... She doesn't want to lose her friend. He's the only friend she has that's just as nerdy as her, after all. Catty and Bratty are great company, but... Sans is very... different from them. He's someone who she can relax with, someone she can nerd out with. What if he doesn't think her project is cool? What if she loses him? Is she being silly? Is she being irrational? Is Sans going to truly accept her for who she is if he-

"alphys? you, uh, you okay there?"

Alphys snapped to attention. "O-Oh, uh... I t-think I'm good for now, th-thanks."

"alright, then..." Oh no, oh jeez that look. What is he thinking? She knows he can see through her lies, oh no... "say, uh... could you at least tell me who, uh... inspired you to make this project?"

"M-My inspiration?" Well... That is a lot easier to talk about, at least. Why is he so easy to talk to? "Well... you know, um, King Asgore?"

King Asgore? Huh. That's a name Sans hasn't heard in years. It seemed like everyone in the underground knew this guy. Sans briefly wondered what he was really like.

"i've heard of him."

That expression on Alphys' face, Sans noted. That's a... strange expression to have when you're talking about someone. Were they close?

"W-Well, I, um, haha... I was inspired to even start the project because... Well, he's... he's kind of like my idol."

Avoiding eye contact... Blushing... Twiddling her thumbs... Oh.

Sans' smile shifted into a mischievous smirk. "i see... are you sure he's not MORE than just an idol?"

As her face exploded, Sans wondered if her neck had whiplash from how quickly she turned. "SANS!"

"aw, what's the matter, lovebug? got something more you wanna add?"

"Sans, yOU-"

He sprawled across the sofa, his head on her lap. "got a secret you wanna share?"

"CuT iT oUt!" Alphys' blush was so intense she might have to try hibernation for the rest of the new year. Gosh. It only just started, too, and she's already ready to crawl into a pit and perish from the embarrassment! Golly! That's a new record! Well done, Alphys!

"come on, it's pretty obvious." And he just kept teasing. "someone's got a cru-"

BAP!

All Sans could do was laugh. "okay, okay, i get it!"

With an embarrassed huff, Alphys gently pushed the giggling skeleton off her lap and into the back of the sofa. His laughter did not let up one bit.

"W-Well... Don't tell me you've never had a crush."

The laughter ubruptly stopped. "i... never had a crush."

Oh.

Awkward.

"Really? Not even as a kid? No celebrity crushes?"

"i had, uh, idols? i wouldn't call 'em crushes, though. i dunno, what's it like?"

Alphys' blush coated her entire face. Oh no, she REALLY had to change the subject before this got too awkward and embarrassing.

"U-Uh... Don't... worry about it. S-So, um..." Change the subject, change the subject, change the subject NOW. "So, uh... Your b-brother..."

There it was. The shift from confusion and curiosity to excitement and admiration. Papyrus is the subject of this conversation now? Oh hell yeah!

"what do you wanna know about 'im?"

"Uhh... What's he like?"

"you met him, alphys. he's cool, ain't he?"

"Uhh... I m-mean, uh... As a... kid?"

As a kid? Now, that caught Sans off guard. He didn't want to dwell on his memories so much, but... well... Why not indulge this one time?

"well, he was... he was great." The skeleton turned away, his hands in his lap, lost in thought. "very enthusiastic... adventurous... he was always up for anything."

Back when they were kids... the world seemed so big. And while Sans had this sort of natural curiosity about the world, it was Papyrus' adventurous spirit that truly made their childhood special. If only he could go back and experience those days again. The days where they would just hang out in the woods and discover new places and solve mysteries. The days where they would go to new towns and cities and meet new people and learn and travel and... Sans swore he still has the photo album. Somewhere.

Life was simple back then. Just Sans and Papyrus, against the world. Their world.

A pair of yellow hands clapped in front of his face.

"Sans?"

"hrk-!" Eyeballs practically bulged out of Sans' eye sockets. Huh. He really is Papyrus' brother. That didn't really help Alphys' concern, though.

"Are... Are you alright?"

...

"oh, yeah, i'm- i'm fine, nothing to worry about, heh heh heh." Oh no, his voice was too high pitched, what are you doing with your hands, put them in your pockets now god, Sans you're a terrible liar.

Judging by that look on Alphys' face, she definitely agrees. She can see right through him, so... Why isn't she saying anything? What is she doing? Turning back to the screen... Clearing her throat... Sheesh, this is weird... Maybe if he was more convincing, maybe if he was just a better... A better what?

"So, um..." Just say it. "This is actually one of my favourite episodes."

Oh. Sans didn't expect that. He turned back to the screen in slight relief.

"It's an adaptation of the dating simulation, "Mew Mew Kissy Cutie", and in the foURTH CHAPTER EVERYONE GOES TO THE BEACH AND SHE BUYS ICE CREAM FOR ALL HER FRIENDS BUT IT'S SNAIL FLAVOR AND SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS IT IT'S ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE PART OF THE GAME BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY A REALLY IMPORTANT LESSON ABOUT FRiendship... and..."

The Sans Smugness™ has returned with a vengeance. Oh no.

"jee, alphys. if i didn't know any better, i would've said you're obsessed with this."

"Pfft- no! Cut it out, you rascal!"

"like wow. i bet you have a whole closet full of mew mew merch."

"That's not true!" Alphys huffed, before turning away with a confident smirk. "I have a whole ROOM, thank you very much."

They laughed together. In that moment, all the previous tension just... faded away, like clouds parting in the inaccessible sky to reveal beautiful stars.

Eventually, their laughter left, but the mood didn't.

"heh, whoo. you're a bit of a weeb, ain'tcha?"

Usually, a comment like this would send Alphys spiralling in a vortex of anxiety. But this time, it just gave her a sense of comfort. "I suppose I am... But honestly, I just like it because... Well..." She rubbed her arm and took a breath, in anticipation of saying the next sentence. "It taught me a lot about socialising, and... I know it's always gonna be there for me. Life is full of overwhelm and doubt, but this... This is like a comfort for me."

"a comfort, hmm?"

"Yeah. A comfort."

A beat.

"I've... n-never really been good at socialising. All my life, it's like e-everyone was born with this instruction manual on how to socialise properly... except me. So, um, Mew Mew is kind of like my instruction manual, in a way. D-Does that... make sense?"

Sans' body came to a standstill. His mind, however, was as fast as ever. This was strange. It's like talking to a mirror in a way. He too wished he had an instruction manual for this sort of thing. Sure, he was good at talking and reading people NOW, but as a kid... He didn't think having to train himself to read facial expressions down to a T was normal. Because it's not normal, is it? Normal people don't have to do that, at least as far as Sans is concerned. Sans had to just figure it out on his own. And even then, there's always this nagging feeling in the back of his mind that he's doing it all wrong. It's a feeling he was never able to shake, even to this day.

"yeah. i get where you're coming from, al." A supportive smile etched its way onto his face. "we're not so different, you and i."

Alphys looked at him with a blank expression. "That was a corny line."

"it's true, ain't it?"

"Yes, it's true, but still corny!"

Ah, the teasing. It never gets old.

Four episodes later...

Sans, while he liked the show, was starting to get bored. His eyes absentmindedly wandered away from the screen and eventually landed on the pile of parts and blueprints over on one of the desks.

Oh yeah! Wasn't he supposed to help her? Welp, might as well ask her.

"say, al, how's your project goin'?"

Alphys' face stiffened. He probably shouldn't have said anything. But before Sans could retract his question, Alphys stuttered out a response.

"I-I'm gonna be real here... He expected it to be done sooner rather than later, but... I don't know. I'm just procrastinating, I guess."

"He", huh? Must be Asgore. Maybe he'll be lenient towards her. After all, from what he heard, he's a very kind king.

Alphys sighed. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't procrastinate like this..."

Uh oh, his friend's feeling bad! His friend's feeling bad! Red alert! Red alert! Engage reassurance protocol!

"hey, don't sweat it, palphys." Alphys gave him a glare at the nickname. Sans winked and shrugged in response. "i ain't judging you for procrastinating. after all..." He pointed to himself like a proud winner. "i'm a master procrastinator."

Alphys blinked. She could believe that, but Sans thought she might need a little more convincing.

"look. i'm such a master procrastinator i procrastinated cleaning my room until my brother did it for me. i'm such a master procrastinator i still haven't picked up a single sock from the living room."

Alphys bit back a laugh. That gesture only encouraged Sans more.

"i'm such a master procrastinator i took weeks to even finish my own calculations for my project. i'm such a master procrastinator that i even procrastinate my hobbies."

And now she's laughing! Success!

"heck, i've been a master procrastinator since i was a baby bones. i procrastinated a TON of school projects. homeworks, group assignments... heck, i even procrastinated speech! i'm such a master procrastinator i didn't finish my first sentence until i was six years old!"

It appeared that only one nerd was allowed to laugh at a time, because as soon as Sans started laughing, Alphys stopped. And she only had one thought on her mind.

"That's not normal..."

"yup. just goes to show how much of a master procrastinator i am."

That's not it, but the two nerds laughed anyway. Mirth filled the entire room. It only stopped when Sans wrapped an arm around Alphys' shoulders.

Touching! Too much touching!

"see, alphys, you're n-"

Sans must have sensed the tension in her shoulders, because he released her just as quickly as he grabbed her. What a relief.

"see, alphys, you're not alone in this, alright? heck, if anyone's gonna understand, it's me. don't beat yourself up about it, alright? you'll get it done. i know you will."

A warm smile etched itself onto Alphys' face. "Ha... Thanks, Sans."

Sans couldn't help but return the smile. What are friends for, after all?

Alphys had a hard time with this project. All these thoughts, constantly running through her mind, chipping away at her. What if he doesn't like his new body? What if Asgore doesn't like it? Will she get found out? How long can she keep Sans as a friend? She took solace in the idea that ONE of those questions could be answered. From what she knows of Sans so far, his friendship is basically like glitter. It sparkles and it's hard to get rid of. Oh, and it's annoying sometimes. But while she finds glitter undesirable, her friendship with Sans is definitely, absolutely desirable. And necessary. He must be really serious about this friendship thing if he didn't run away when her flaws were displayed. At least Alphys knows he's not going to run away from her. For now, at least.

Sans realised that he and Alphys had a lot more in common than he initially expected. They're both science nerds, they stand out from the crowd in their own unique ways, they both have projects they're currently procrastinating on... Eh. What's the rush, anyway? This world was fine. It has been fine for years. It's not home, but it's good. It has good friends, at least. That's all Sans could ever really ask for.

It would be better with him, though.

[spockandawe]

Hello,I absolutely adore your work! I have been binding books for a few years now (mostly scanlated manga that hasn't been licensed,and some pdf books that are too expensive for me to afford or too rare to buy). I came across your work a few months ago,and absolutely relish your posts. I was wondering if I could ask for some advice?

Do you print your books at home,or use a printing service? Because they're such massive amounts of pages if I want to do a full series...once I printed a 24 volume series and my printer reached its page limit,and I had to get it serviced to reset it😭(I know a code can be bought and used,if it happens again I intend to do that but I'd like to avoid if possible). If you use a service can you recommend any,or any general advice for finding one?

And if you print them at home, could you give some advice on how to print Quattro or snaller books? I just use Acrobat (older versions) to print in booklet setting to get a half page sized book,I would really appreciate some knowledge on how to go smaller (and save some paper)

It's okay if you would rather not answer though,or if you want to take a while,I completely understand if that's the case!

Oh my gosh, you can absolutely ask anything you want, this is my favorite hobby to enable people for! (I LOVE that you're doing this for scanlations, also! My manga hyperfixation is mostly dormant right now, but once my brain locked on to archival work for fan translations of cnovels, I immediately started anxiously circling this idea like a dog whining because it can't fit all the toys in its mouth at once, so I'm delighted to hear someone has this interest!)

I print my books at home. I've considered using a printing service for some special cases, like large paper my machine can't handle, but it was ultimately expensive enough, and my personal needs were off enough (I do high-volume, fast-turnaround work) that I've never actually followed through. I'm fortunate that a few years before I picked up this hobby, I got a color laser duplex printer (canon mf cdw644, iirc) as a gift, and it's filled all my needs beautifully, so I never had to look for another way to tackle the issue.

It is still very expensive to make as many books as I do, I've spent unconscionable amounts of money just on toner, but the math shakes out pretty clearly in my favor. Now, an issue that has occurred to me for more graphic prints would be that if a comic page has a lot of hard blacks, I'm not sure how much it would take before it was cost-effective to go elsewhere. I'm not sure if a point like that does exist, but it's a question I'd be interested in knowing an answer to!

(Laser printers tend to be more expensive up front, but cheaper to use in the long term. I do know one person who owns an ink TANK printer and sings its praises, but those can be harder to find for home usage)

One thing that I'm not sure would apply to your printer is that for big jobs, I *think* my computer and printer run out of memory and it messes up not just the current print job, but future ones I queue up after it, and switching the printer off only makes it worse. My pages start looping back to the beginning of the print job and starting over and the only fix is to reset my print spooler in my system services directory and ruthlessly cancel jobs until my print queue stays empty. I can get around that by printing smaller sets of pages at a time (1-50, then 51-100, etc), so something like that might also help coax your printer into cooperating!

And ahhhh, yes, small books! I'm a HUGE fan, I rarely print anything larger than quarto these days. I use a free tool developed by other fan binders, which I'll link right here

https://momijizukamori.github.io/bookbinder-js/

It has a lot of settings that I haven't explored in too much depth, but I use it to impose almost everything I make. There are layouts for the straightforward divide-in-half imposition (half-letter, quarto, octavo, etc), but towards the bottom there are wacky layouts, like six sheets per side of paper. There might be resources somewhere in renegadepublishing that go into more depth, but like I said, my experimentation has been relatively bland XD In general, I recommend double checking the files you get from it for whether you want to flip on the long or the short edge, but other than that, I've found the tool very intuitive and easy to use!

I hope that helps!!! I'm always delighted to help people out with any of this stuff :D

[novantinuum]

Fandom: Steven Universe Rating: Teen Audiences Words: 1.3K~ Summary: His family's not present the third time he runs away... they never see the creature he becomes. Early corruption AU.

Happy New Year folks! I'm working on getting this one going again.

Enjoy! <3

__

Chapter 19: Masks Upon the Shore

A few whirlwind planning sessions later, Amethyst finds herself slumped against the wall aboard one of the old Roaming Eyes, Garnet and Pearl busy prepping the controls for takeoff. After all their investigative efforts, it’s finally time.

Today, they’re setting out for Mask Island.

Of course… at this point, she strongly doubts this mission’s just gonna be some casual stroll through the Kindergarten, as the saying goes. While they do have a number of aspirational goals in mind— locate Steven, neutralize the threat he’s facing, bring him home— it’s impossible for any of them to fully predict what could happen in this place, what fresh dangers they might discover. Stars, they’re all… so, so lost without him. Garnet’s been of no use in guiding their trajectory as of late, Pearl’s too caught up in the thickets of her own gem over this mess to be of much strategic help, and… and her? Well, hah— clearly she’s not leadership material. She’s far too loudmouthed, too headstrong. She’s way too focused on her own deal half the time to ever fully notice the depths of others’ distress. And that’s exactly what happened with her and Steven, isn’t it? She took him at his word when he said he was fine. She didn’t probe hard enough. He was lost, and hurting, and instead of reaching out in the way he needed back then she pushed him even further away.

Amethyst grinds her hands into fists against the ship’s cool metal interior, completely unsure how to quell all the turbulent, nightmarish what-ifs surging through her thoughts right now. Like what if… what if Steven’s seriously hurt right now, what if he’s cracked and scared and alone, w-what if— oh gosh, what if— this whole time— her horrible theory about self-inflicted corruption has been right on the money? What if he does think he’s a monster? What then? How are they supposed to fix something so intangible, something that they can’t fight?

Ughhh. Geeze, the sheer anxiety bubbling up within her core right now is almost pervasive enough to destabilize her, to entirely rip her projected form apart. This mission’s gonna be a complete and total disaster, isn’t it?

A hand rests itself upon her shoulder, the outline of a triangular faceted gem clear.

“Amethyst.”

Sniffling, she turns her head to meet Garnet’s gaze.

“How are you holding up?” her companion probes, joining her in leaning back against the wall, arms crossed and expression uncertain.

She uses the butt of her palm to wipe away the stray tear that— betraying her better instincts— dares to slip from her eye and slip down her cheek. “If we’re being honest…?” she says, voice quivering. “I’m scared. I’m really, really scared.”

“I am too,” Garnet admits. She lifts the center of her hands to where she can see them, her sight fixed upon the maroon gemstones embedded there, and upon the shimmering wedding bands encircling her ring fingers. “My future vision is worthless right now. For the first time in a long while, I’m walking into this scenario completely blind. I don’t know what we’ll find out there.”

“I just hope we’ll get him back soon…” she whispers, leaning against the familiar contour of her side in a futile hunger for comfort.

Garnet wraps her arm around her shoulder in turn, a rare show of vulnerability. Or at least, rare shown to her.

It’s at this point that the ship lurches off the ground, officially en-route to their destination. Thank goodness. And even better, with the coordinates plugged into the Roaming Eye’s navigation system and the craft’s autopilot functionality, there’s no need for one of them to continuously monitor and fly the ship. It’s a small mercy— one that allows them as much time as they need to reflect on present matters and center themselves for the quest ahead.

With this in mind, Pearl steps away from the main console to join them.

“All right!” she says, clasping her hands together with forged (and already cracking) confidence. “We should go over the plan one final time before we land.”

Amethyst sighs, her whole body curving inwards as she slouches against the wall. Pearl’s right, they need to review their strategies before making ground so they can operate as a true team, but… what good will their antiquated Era 2 battle tactics bring to this third era problem, anyways? This would all be so easy if it were simply some random corrupted Gem, but it’s not, is it?

She can just feel it.

Now’s not the time to dwell on such dour thoughts, though. She has to focus, has to pay attention, or else none of this will work. Every single one of their close friends has put in their full effort to help with this mission, and she can’t let them down.

Peridot and Bismuth worked double time to develop a set of modified barrier axis crystals capable of restraining not only the most powerful Gems, but organic life as well. (Best to prepare for the worst, she always says, hah.) They’re staying behind for now— holding down base at Little Homeworld just in case sudden disaster strikes— but plan to meet up once they’ve contained the immediate situation. Lapis, meanwhile, is circling a wide perimeter around Mask Island in case any hazardous Gem tries to escape.

As far as the humans go, Connie is on a mission to find Lion. (Alas, that feline has an annoying habit of wandering off when they need him most. She’s really not sure how Connie and Steven have put up with it for so long.) Once she receives the ‘go’ signal from one of them, she’ll bring over Greg and possibly her mother, should Steven need any emergency medical care. (That’s assuming they find him, of course.)

And as for Amethyst and Pearl? They’re the strike team… the boots on the sand. Their role is to locate this rumored corrupted Gem— no matter who it may turn out to be— and distract it for long enough that Garnet can lay out all the barrier axis crystals and activate them, trapping the being within an impermeable dome. A theoretically straightforward plan, if it weren’t for the troubling fact that they’re all in varying stages of falling apart.

The Red Eye makes ground. The whole cockpit lurches as the shock absorbers underneath compensate for the abrupt impact. Welp. Here they go. There’s no turning back from here.

Renewed anxiety radiating throughout the deepest facets of her hard light form, she follows the others outside.

Mask Island… isn’t terribly too different from how she remembers it. The water is a warm crystalline blue. The geode-like inclusions in the cliffside glitter under the dim rays of the morning sun. The topography is still lopsided and janked. (The Cluster’s fault… those earthquakes really did a number on the place, huh?) A whole jungle of uncommon, vibrant flora blankets the soil just offshore. It’s not a pretty day by any means— the sky is partially smothered by angry, pinkish grey cloud cover— but it does make for an almost otherworldly impression. It’s often astounding to her that such a vista could exist on Earth and be almost entirely untouched by both Gems and humans alike.

Well, kinda, she thinks with an ever intensifying grimace, as the three of them approach a series of gigantic impressions ground deep into the sand. The imprints are as wide as like… two of Greg’s vans smashed together, and appear to be—

Pearl clamps a quivering palm over her mouth, her exclamation muffled. “I-is that—?”

“Footprints,” Garnet nods. “We’ve found our runaway.”

“Geeze, this thing must have like, ginormous claws,” Amethyst says, hugging her arms tight around her torso. “Are you sure we shouldn’t go grab Bis and Peri for backup first?”

Garnet’s lips part to respond, but before she can utter more than a single syllable a tormented, cacophonous roar blasts from somewhere within the nearby thicket of foliage. Her expression twists with a quiet horror as she gazes beyond, no doubt an emotion that— as their intrepid leader— she’s doing everything within her power to suppress.

“All right,” she calls, summoning her gauntlets. “This is it, Gems. Stay together, and stick to the plan. On your ready—!”

Amethyst swears her whole universe is destabilizing, whirling in dizzy circles around her as the corrupted Gem’s footfalls creep closer and closer. She grits her teeth. There’s just no time left, not anymore. No matter the fears they carry, they must brace their forms to finally face the uncertainty of this present— for their own sanity. For Steven. For the beating heart of the Crystal Gems!

She pulls out her whip, falling into a defensive stance as the gargantuan creature rises from amidst the trees.

Ready or not, their future starts now.

[ramsaybaggins]

Hornberry pick up!

Okay so this one never got much past brainstorming but here was the stream of consciousness I dumped into my discord server when I was thinking about it:

Gets his captaincy for the act of grace, but clearly had a crush on Stede And he's out there doing captainy things and finds a dingy full of people And stede and his crew are like FUUUUCK But then hornberry leans over like "Stede? Stede Bonnet?!" in a parallel to Nigel in episode 1 but instead he helps them all on board and Stede explains everything that happens and Hornberry is just like "LETS GO GET YOU YOUR MAN!" lmao Also interesting reunion drama because it would be an english ship chasing the Revenge And then Ed would realise that Stede is on an english ship and maybe he never left the academy! But then there would be explanations and comedy and Hornberry being like "No old chap you've got it all wrong" at Ed It would be SO FUNNY Especially if Hornberry is basically like "Ed he's fucking gorgeous LOOK AT HIM" and Stede looks at Hornberry like "Wat" omg and then Hornberry could be like "Oh, Blackbeard? Oh yes, we caught him and killed him. All gone, no need to pursue him anymore wink wink" when he leaves Maybe Ed gives him his leather jacket or something as proof that Blackbeard is 'dead' I think they'd offer to let him come with them but he'd probably decline cos he seems happy in the navy and also he has a big ol crush on stede and wouldn't want to have to see him and ed, but he would tell them they're always welcome on his ship 🥺 Omg, ed pouting as Stede is surrounded by guys CLEARLY flirting but Stede is being a proper gentleman through and through Stede doesn't even realise they're all into him "Gosh these navy chaps are very nice, aren't they ed? I don't know why we were worried!" Ed gripping the edge of the table so hard his knuckles are white "yep" -_- After dinner ed stands up, grabs Stede's hand, stares pointedly at all the navy round the table, and drags Stede back to the cabin and shags him extremely loudly

Anyway, I struggled to fit it all together, so it eventually became this kinktober 2022 fic except I just made it an anonymous captain instead of Hornberry (but in my head it's still Hornberry)

[hyperforcereignition]

Mila yawned as she looked through the fridge, debating what to do for breakfast this morning.

Her mind kept drifting back to the night before with meeting Ren.

In her mind's eye, she could see him clearly.

Those eyes, that smile…

Those arms were nice too…

And oh gosh…

That. BIKE.

She blushed, shaking her head.

Calm down. It's one date. It's ONE-

"Mila?"

She let out a loud gasp, whirling around, spotting Chiro behind her.

He was still in his pajamas, his eyes tired.

"Ichi!" She whispered. "Don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry, sorry." He stifled a yawn. "Wanted to catch you before anyone else did…"

"Hm?" She frowned. "What's up?"

He sat down at the table, resting his head on his arms.

"I need a huge favor. Like… defcon levels."

She rested a hand on his back, concerned.

"What's on your mind sweetie?"

"I… I have a date."

She covered her mouth, stifling a small squeal.

He chuckled, rolling his eyes.

"I know, I know."

-------

And we're back with our regularly scheduled chaos looming... or is it love blooming? Hm.

Either way, look! Mila gets a Mcfreaking break for once!

... For now.

[somedaynotsoon]

Super Small Stardust Saga, Chapter 6

"Oh no!! The consequences of my actions!"

I basically split this chapter into two parts - Chapter 5 was the first part, and Chapter 6 is the second. Made it a lot easier to get back into it.

As usual, this is an archived version of a Cohost post. The formatting and HTML broke, so this post in particular is turbo-scuffed. Feedback is always appreciated, thanks!

You awaken to utter darkness. Below you is cushioned softness of an utterly pleasant caliber. All around you is a warm humidity, coupled with an intense feminine scent. As you stir and roll, you feel a wet spot.

...Oh no!! Did you wet the - no wait.

You slowly pick yourself up and flip yourself over, looking up at a thick string of viscous alien fluid. You were so cozy, you'd forgotten you were in Nadira's panties overnight, you suppose. You couldn't see anything very clearly with how dark it is in here.

You're surprised how recognizable the entire environment is, despite the disparate physiology. The only hint that something is amiss or nonhuman is a scent of hair or fur, and a lingering aftertaste not dissimilar to some 'rustic' or 'rugged desert' beverages you've tasted. It's still unmistakably feminine and hot, though.

You have your glasses, though your spacesuit/uniform was left on your own bed. You suppose you were going to have Nadira take you back there so you could change before today's launch...

...Oh gosh that's right the launch-! Nadira needed to wake up...!

Just as you think that, you hear a great and powerful stirring from above. Gravity itself shifts below you as Nadira sits up in bed, her crotch imposing down before squishing on top of you. It's too dark to look at it, but it certainly feels like a vagina. Or at least, it feels like how you'd imagine a vagina would feel at your scale. You were something of a mote against hers.

She didn't seem to even notice, though. You felt her rise up from her bed, march to the sink, and lean over to wet her head and face. As she dried herself off, Nadira looked calmly into the mirror. You heard her, muffled, speak to herself in the mirror.

"Just get dressed... nobody will notice if you shower after the launch, but everybody will notice if you're late. Yes. We won't even be the most disheveled one there. Miss Friya probably stayed up all night playing MMOs the night before launch again. We are pristine. We are perfect. Okay. Off we go."

The odd pep talk was difficult to hear, but you realized all too late that Nadira was just going to toss a sweater, socks, and boots on. Her fur-skirt meant she didn't really see the need to wear pants...but more importantly, she was going out there with you still in her panties--!

Just as you squirm to try to get up, Nadira exits her door, then swiftly crosses her legs as she stands, as though caught off guard by someone. You let out a squeak, which is purely buried against the dark fold smothering your entire body.

"Second Mate Nadira III. Please report to the deck immediately! Your coworkers are waiting! I can't believe I have to round up a bunch of stragglers like this. We're supposed to be professionals." That seems to be Lt. Bitwise. He's a busybody as usual.

"Right away, Sir Bitwise. We are ready."

"...Mmmgyeah..." Mads seems disenchanted from Nadira's princessy speech mannerisms. You hear him march off.

"Three...two...one...okay he's out of earshot. I shouldn't run in these boots, however."

Oh no. She's not going to-!?

The Phosfynx takes off into a sprint, her boots leaving loud and heavy clunks as she books it for the bridge. Or maybe it's just to get away from anyone with higher authority than her who can chew her out for showing up to the launch ceremony eight minutes late without having gotten a real shower yet.

You are once again completely and utterly stifled from getting Nadira's attention, this time her thighs smearing the fabric of her underwear to and fro, slowly but surely tugging it snug against her body and folds, before beginning to swallow it. The more she sprints, the more your face and arms are swallowed by the cavernous flesh above you. Each full-speed turn she takes is driving you further against what must be vulva, but in this darkness may as well be a dark, drooling monster engulfing you whole.

You hear Nadira skid to a harsh stop, and a moment later her panting and the dings of the Main Elevator. Oh...no no.

You still can't get her attention, even now-! You yelp as best as you can, but it's just lost against her very flesh. The vulpine crotch all around you absorbs the pithy sound effortlessly, and while you would easily be audible if you could just get your face off her folds, your humiliation is far from over, as Nadira didn't even tug out her cameltoe before entering the bridge. She plunks down in her seat, and crosses her legs, further sealing you in her musk and lips.

Though, now that you're no longer below her, a very, very faint trace of light filters in from beyond the wall of her underwear. You can see extremely blurry figures moving back and forth. There seems to be commotion amidst the various officers.

"Nope! Haven't seen her, sorry." Jora chirps with a dismissive sneer.

"Moss?" Jynx barks across the room.

A chair swivels. "Nope, sorry. Dunno where the captain is, either. She's not in her room?"

You feel Nadira's body chill for the slightest of moments. She fidgets in her seat.

Oh. Oh no. She forgot you were a human again, didn't she?

"N-no...Ahh...ahh..." Nadira breathes, her sighs hot and heavy. You freeze, but it's already too late. You can feel the infinite expanse larger than a city above you contract with vibrations that shake you to your very bones. Fluid pools around your body.

Everyone present in the bridge turns.

"Sorry, what was that, Nadira?" Jynx says, not even having realized Nadira was here yet.

"A-aahhihihi...I-I'm c-cummiiiiIIIIING---!" Nadira moans blissfully, her voice completely out of her own control.

Wave after wave of thick, saline juices pour from the unknown darkness directly over you in heavy, merciless waves, shoving you from privacy and against the front of Nadira's panties. Humiliating on its own, but her underwear was so displaced from her run that you found yourself shoved along the sides, the flow of sticky love pouring out onto Nadira's seat, and you along with it. Where everyone, their attention thoroughly captured, were now looking.

The good news: You are out of Nadira's panties! Hooray!

The bad news: You are soaked in her cum, stuck to her thighs and chair, in just your own underwear, with half of the rest of the officers looking directly at you in horror.

Nadira's handpaw smashes down on you with a lightning speed, quickly covering you and shoving you immediately back into her panties, as though to hide you. Of course, she's just shoved you haphazardly directly back into her own orgasmic tide, so it is little consolation, especially not when everybody already knows.

Nadira stutters to try to come up with something, anything. "A-aha...Where are our manners. We are not feeling well. We should...visit the...room." She's completely out of breath. It's hard for her to get through the sentence without groaning. She's sweating.

Jynx is succinct and professional, silencing everyone else in the room with but a single lift of her paw. "Nadira."

"Queen Jynx... ehehehe. Y-your majesty?"

"Do you have the Captain in your underwear?" Jynx says it so matter-of-factly.

"N-no...? This is..." Nadira struggles to come up with a lie. "...A stowaway?"

Ramon shouts from across the room. "BULL FUCKING SHIT! Why do you think I keep my doorbell off for everything except ship-wide emergencies? THIS ALWAYS FUCKIN' HAPPENS!!"

Jynx shoots a look at him, and he stops talking. She turns back to Nadira. She is as calm as ever, though her voice lacks her usual playful candor.

"I have only one question. You will answer it succinctly and honestly, are we clear?"

"Y-yes ma'am."

"Did you approach her, or did she approach you?"

"S-she called me to her room last night. She was in just her underwear and asked me to...'support her'."

"..." Jynx is silent for the longest time. A great and palpable tension sits in the air.

"Okie doke! No harm in a little consensual fun, then! As long as you clean up your chair so it doesn't stain, you're squeaky clean. Nobody outside this room has to know."

"R-really!?"

"Oh, of course. Justine's the one in trouble. May I speak with her?"

You feel Nadira's paw shove itself into your prison and pull you free again, your body sticky with Nadira's fluids sticking to you all over. You do your best to sit at attention atop her palm, even though your muscles ache and all you want to do is lay down on her soft paw and fall asleep. Maybe wake up from this very awkward nightmare.

Jynx locks eyes with you, and you feel a chill run down your spine. The short feline alien is nevertheless menacing when she's serious. And well, still monumentally massive to you.

"Captain, we all need to destress from time to time. That's why this vessel has an entire Gallery Deck with a library and a gym and a hundred other things. And your choice of playmate is yours to make at any point. It complicates your relationship with your other crewmates, of course, but you're free to do that if you want. Hell, you can conduct the ship launch from the tip of Second Mate Nadira's waistband, for all I care."

You avert your gaze. Yes you're blushing, but you just imagined you proudly announcing takeoff from Nadira's cute panties and you're struggling not to snicker. You shouldn't. You REALLY shouldn't laugh now of all times.

"However! You are under no circumstances to abuse your power to beget sexual favors from your subordinates, and you should absolutely NEVER delay a vessel like this on Bureaucracy launching orders because you're too busy exploring your coworkers. The Captain's badge is not a license to do whatever you please, and it is extremely questionable to me that this is one of the first things you've done with your newfound authority."

"O-oh. S-sorry, Director. Am I going to be punished for this? I don't want to lose my badge -"

"No. No, you are not going to be punished for this. The embarrassment of almost all your officers getting THIS first impression of you is plenty already. I want one, and only one thing from you right now."

"Y-yes?"

"Go get changed and cleaned up and get back here immediately. We're launching in four minutes, and I am required by law to document your exact circumstances in the black box should you not be on the bridge at that time. So unless you want your little tryst to be immortalized in the ship's logs for the rest of time, both of you had better move your butts." She sticks out her tongue and does a wiggly wave-goodbye.

You and Nadira exchange a nervous glance. You duck and hold on to her palm for dear life as she immediately books it towards the elevator.

Three and a half minutes later, you are dry, clothed, and seated in your Captain's chair, and Nadira, has changed into a pair of spats.

The launching ceremony occurs without incident, though the majesty of the roar of the ship's engines and the sight of the great dark frontier ahead of you is undercut slightly by the rest of your officers sneaking glances at you and giggling, whispering amongst themselves.

Damnit. You were never gonna live this down, were you?

Well... you suppose you'll have plenty of time to try in between here and the first stop on your mission.

Here begins Day One of your adventures as a spaceship captain.

You should probably familiarize yourself a bit more with the Rampant Lovelander. Tour it a little? Meet more crewmates? You ought to spend time anywhere but up here on the bridge.

So... where to go.

Option 1: The Gallery Deck Option 2: The Main Deck Option 3: The Gut Deck Option 4: You need a proper shower. Back to your room you go.

{None of these chapters were written yet as of the announcement of Cohost's closure.}

[c-schroed]

Well. An essay about what makes me enthusiastic about podcasts? Sounds lovely, here we go:

I love fiction podcasts most when they're fiction p o d c a s t s

My all time favourite podcast is Spines, because it absolutely masters the art of being aware of its own medium. Spines is not just some fictive audio drama that happens to be published in podcast form, the podcast form is diegetical. Our protagonist, Wren, uploads her reports into our podcatchers or RSS feeds, which sometimes means that she tells the terrible things that have happened right upfront at the beginning of an episode, instead of building up suspense until it happens at the climax. Because that's how you make a fucking report. You want your audience to get the important info right away, and then you can tell the details. Gosh. I really darn love that!

Another great thing about this is that you always know exactly whom Wren is talking to, or rather for whom she recorded her podcasts. This is similar to another podcast I absolutely adore: Within the Wires. Within the Wires works with found audio from an alternate history, and each season presents a totally new type of audio for a very different type of audience. Be it a kind of prisoner about to break out (season one), the anonymous audience of museum audioguides (season two), or someone's answering machine (season five - my absolute fav!), the authors of Within the Wires are always perfectly aware of their narrative's recipient.

And then, of course, there's Alice Isn't Dead, a show that works perfectly because the protagonist does not care who her audience might be. She just broadcasts her reports out into the anonymous nothing of radio frequencies, somehow hoping that her missing wife might hear her. Which is so darn poetic!

Of course, this is not the only thing I love about fiction podcasts. I mean, I love The Magnus Archives although I (being amidst season three) never really understood why the hell they are making audio recordings in the first place and - more importantly - why the fuck they always leave their tape recorders running! I mean, imagine you are indeed an in-world student that needs to hear some of the Magnus Institutes' collection, and the you find yourself catching, say, a telephone call of the head archivist with some police woman about to storm some weird cult's headquarters? I mean, what the fuck would that feel like?!

But seriously, The Magnus Archives clearly focuses on other points of its narrative, and because it's so darn great at what it does, I most happily glance over all questions regarding the hows and whys of its stories being told in audio form. And of course I also can enjoy myself some good old audio drama like Re: Dracula or Victoricity, that do not need to justify their audio nature in any form. But the quickest way for a podcast to win my heart will always be to show me that you fucking know why you're telling your story via podcast.

My favourite way of choosing podcast to listen to is seeing people being batshit crazy, extremely enthusiastic, writing serious interpretations and silly posts about it, posting fanart, etc.

So, audio drama folks, please reblog this and write me some amazing stuff about your favourite podcasts. It can be honest recommendation! Maybe some blorbo thoughts about your fav character! Or deep reflection about themes and motifs! Whatever you would like to share with someone but didn’t have a chance to. Don’t worry about me knowing what you talking about, just pure your little podcast heart for me, pretty please. (And of course as always official podcast accounts are welcome to join!)

[ashes3333]

Lend a Hand?

Written for DannyMay 2023 Day 7 Prompt: Weapon Fandom: Danny Phantom Characters: Danny, Sam, Tucker, Dash, Paulina, Star, Kwan Words: 2252 Summary: The A-listers think that they should have a way to defend themselves in case of a ghost attack. Now Danny has to get involved

“You know something’s always bothered me about that time we saved our parents,” Star said out of nowhere, completely unprompted.

“You mean besides the fact that all of our parents were under mind control,” Kwan shot back as the blonde rolled her eyes.

“No! How did Fenton and his geek squad know what to do?” Star huffed as her three friends looked at each other.

“They clearly didn’t. Fenton bailed, remember,” Dash reminded them.

“Then how were they able to teach us how to use all of those weapons?” Paulina asked, curiosity getting to her as well.

“The girls do have a point Dash,” Kwan pointed out. “It makes no sense how the geek squad has all the training with the only weapons that can protect us.”

“Okay not the point of my question but you are on the right track,” Star pointed her pencil at the Asian jock, letting him beam proudly.

“We could always force them to teach us,” Dash shrugged. 

“Or we could ask. Something tells me they're not going to teach us as easily as that,” Star pointed out as a unanimous decision was made between the A-listers.

The next day we see the most popular kids of Casper High knocking on the door to Fenton Works freely on their Saturday off and it was just their luck that the door was opened by the one and only Danny Fenton.

The teen looked dead tired (pun intended) with heavy bags under his eyes and it looked like he quickly put on the NASA hoodie and black sweatpants.

“What are your four doing here?” he glared, not fully opening the door for them.

“Watch it, Fenton! I’m not scared to stuff you in a locker on Monday,” Dash threatened as the ghost teen rolled his eyes.

“Dash if getting pushed into lockers really bothered me I would have done something by now,” Danny rolled his eyes as Star put a hand on Dash to calm him down.

“We were wondering if you could teach us how to use your ghost weapons?” she asked, clearly the smart one of the group as Danny’s eyes went wide with disbelief.

“Why do you need to be trained in ghost weapons,” Danny crossed his arms glaring at them.

“Maybe because we live in the most haunted town in America” Star shot back crossing her arms.

“Sorry, but I’m not in the business of training people who think to shoot first before asking,” Danny turned around to close the door, only for the female blonde’s foot to stop the door.

“Either you teach us or we make the last two years of high school hell for you,” she went back to the threatening.

“Maybe this hasn’t gotten through your thick ass skulls, but you four don’t scare me,” Danny hissed, pushing her leg out of the way and closing the door, surprising the four.

“That was-” Dash started, shock on all four faces.

“Surprising,” Paulina finished.

The group was still standing there in shock a minute later when the other two members of the geek squad rolled up.

“Oh great what are you doing here?” Sam asked distaste in her voice.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but we were wondering if the geek squad could train us in ghost weapons,” Paulina hissed.

Surprised when the two burst out in laughter.

“Oh my gosh! That is hilarious,” the two were almost rolling on the floor.

“What’s so funny?” Star asked, glaring at the two.

“Danny doesn’t train those who he thinks won’t listen to both sides of the story. You are not good candidates for him to train,” Tucker huffed, saying it as if it was the most obvious thing on earth.

“He doesn’t know that. He hasn’t given us any chances,” Kwan pointed out.

“This might come as a shock to you, but Danny can’t afford that chance,” Sam glared as she grabbed Tucker to pull him into the house, only to be stopped by Dash, of all people.

“Just talk to him to give us a chance? Please. We just want to be able to protect ourselves,” he looked down as the two looked at each other and sighed.

“Fine, we’ll talk to Danny. We don’t promise anything,” Sam said sternly as the four looked up in hope.

“I’ll contact you when we have his answer,” Tucker waved them out of the way as they walked into the house.

“It’s a stupid idea and they're going to get themselves or someone else hurt,” Danny hissed, eyes glowing green when Sam and Tucker bought it up.

“We know but we have to think about this logically,” Sam said, putting a comforting hand on her friend’s shoulder. They knew they had to be cautious when Danny was in crazy ghost emotion mode.

“If we don’t train them they might find weapons themselves and hurt themselves anyway,” Tucker pointed out.

“They could hurt one of our friends or worse you,” Sam tried and it calmed Danny down enough for him to think logically.

“Fine, we will teach them the bare minimum. If they can’t meet tonight then I’m not doing it,” Danny huffed, knowing he was going to hate it, but agreed for his friends.

“Tucker said that Danny will teach us tonight. If we don’t show up then he’s not going to do it at all,” Star said reading the message, only slightly worried about the fact that the geek has her contact info.

“Why tonight? What if we had plans,” Dash complained.

“Then cancel. This might be our only shot. The only other time Danny offered to train us was when we were in a life or death situation and it was a quick thirty-minute lesson,” Star glared at him.

“Alright we’ll be there,” Dash said, deciding to go and get some Nasty Burger with Kwan for lunch.

“Oh great they made it,” Danny rolled his eyes as he saw the door to the empty warehouse open, well empty except for them.

“This place is creepy,” Paulina shivered.

“Deal with it. I actually made sure that this place was safe before bringing you in here,” Danny said as he mumbled something about fruit loops.

“We sure he won’t mind us using his place?” Tucker asked.

“I have him on a tight leash right now. He can’t do anything too bad without me knowing about it,” Danny assured his friend while the four looked confused.

“Alright. This is going to be the only time I teach you so pay attention and if I find out you didn’t listen I am not afraid of punching you into the ground,” Danny threatened, Dash and Kwan rolled their eyes at the treat, weak Fenton could never hurt them.

“You are to never run into a ghost fight. You are to never shoot a ghost without knowing anything. This lesson is not for those who shoot first and ask questions never. Do you understand?” Danny asked, eyes galring at each one individually.

“If you’re worried about me hitting Phantom, well I would never,” Paulina crossed her arms.

“I’m worried about you hitting any ghost. I know Phantom has done a lot of good work, but there are things that you don’t know. Phantom is not the only good ghost that comes over to this world,” Danny said harshly.

“Alright! We won’t shoot unless we’re sure,” Kwan said.

“You won’t shoot unless asked by Phantom, Tucker, Sam, or myself,” Danny restated.

“Not your parents?” Dash asked.

“My parents are smart, but their views are one-sided and they always don’t see everything from all sides,” Danny said sadly as a sigh escaped him.

“Alright. Here,” Danny handed them a small blaster gun. “It works like a normal gun. It doesn't harm humans so if you hit someone they will be fine, but it is a weird experience so I don’t recommend shooting each other for fun. We already set up targets for you,” Danny waved to where the targets were on the other side of the building. Tucker pushed a button and suddenly a few started to move.

“We have extras so go on. Once you think you can aim we’ll move to lipstick blasters and the smaller wrist ones,” Danny said, going to sit next to Sam and Tucker, fully keeping an eye on the four.

“We think we can handle the next step,” Kwan said after the four had hit their targets on point three times in a row.

“Sure,” Danny shrugged, taking the guns from them, not listening to their complaints as he handed them the wrist blasters. “These are smaller and you won’t always be able to hold them up to pure eye point to the aim is a little off. Also, stop complaining. I said I would train you, I’m not letting you keep them,” Danny yawned, passing out the next weapon.

“You good man?” Tucker asked as Danny sat back down.

“Yeah. Just tired. Clockwork has me running around the GZ like crazy. I was busy all last night then these four woke me up this morning right as I got home.”

“That sucks. You could always let us help,” Sam suggested.

“It’s mostly running errands. They want me take up the throne. I really shouldn’t but everyone is trying to push me for it. Says I’m the best one for the job. Now theirs an internal struggle. Half the council says I’m too young and not ready the other half say I have experience. It’s so exhausting,” Danny complained as blue mist escaped from his mouth, “speaking of exhausting. Mind watching the kids?” Danny asked.

“Go do your things man,” Tucker said.

“Yeah Danny we got this,” Sam said as Danny stood up to leave.

“Hey, Fenton we got these wrist things down,” Star yelled, waving the wrist thing calmly.

“Where are you going?” Dash asked, noticing the teen was about to walk out the door.

“Something came up and I have to take care of it real quick. Sam and Tucker are going to help,” Danny said quickly.

“But you said you were going to teach us,” Kwan complained, and it was too late as Skulker came through the roof.

“I was told you would be here whelp.”

“Oh great so now you’re stalking,” Danny rolled his eyes.

“It is called hunting not stalking!” Skullker yelled back.

“Whatever you say. You choose a bad day for this. Listen I had a long night last night, and was barely able to get rest today because I’ve been studying and then I had to teach these idiots,” Danny said, letting Sam throw him a gun as he jumped in the air, but right as he shot the gun another one went off shooting him in the side.

“DANNY!” Sam and Tucker yelled running towards him, Sam grabbing a lipstick blaster as Tucker typed quickly.

The two worked together and before they knew it Skullker was flying away while yelling about a purple-back gorilla.

“Is he hurt?” Kwan asked.

“I thought that it wasn’t supposed to hurt humans,” Paulina asked, the four now running towards the black-haired teen.

“Get away from him!” Sam yelled, trying to push them out of the way as she bought her backpack closer, the four could see a nasty burn on his right side.

“Tucker!” Sam panicked.

“On it!” Tucker yelled back, grabbing the green water bottle and making Danny drink it as Sam grabbed a first aid kit to start bandaging Danny’s wound.

“How is he hurt?” Dash asked.

“Who shot him?” Sam glared at the four, eyes burning bright with fury.

“Sam calm down. They just wanted to help,” Danny groaned, sitting up, Sam and Tucker’s pushing to make him lay back down not working.

“This is exactly what you said would happen! Now you’re hurt!”

“It’s fine. I can handle a weak blaster shot,” Danny assured her as the A-lister's eyes went wide. “It just surprised me was all.”

“Dude you took a nasty fall. You sure you’re okay?” Tucker asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Skullker can’t really do anything bad anymore. I’m defended now. I just let him have his fun,” Danny shrugged.

“Fenton, are you okay?” Kwan finally asked and Danny did feel bad seeing the worry on their faces.

“Yeah. Growing up around ghost biology in a not-so-contaminated environment made me contaminated. Some ghost stuff that should only work on humans hurt me as well. My parents can’t explain it, but what can you do,” Danny shrugged, starting to stand so he can pick the mess up.

“You’re lying,” Star accused, crossing her arms, the wrist blaster thrown off to the side in the middle of the chaos.

“If I am well then you can’t prove anything,” Danny smirked at her. “I think that’s enough lessons. If there ever comes a time when you need a weapon. I’ll give you four one,” Danny said, letting Sam and Tucker help pack their things away as they walked, i.e. flew, away.

The trio thought that they got out of the situation scot-free. It wouldn’t be till two months later when Danny was finally enjoying some peaceful sleep did he feel an annoying tugging in his gut and without time to think or change into Phantom he appeared in a summoning circle the faces of all four A-listers staring at him, three in shock, one in pride.

“Ha! Fucking knew it,” Star crossed her arms as Danny groaned, when did his life get this fucked up.

Next

[olderthannetfic]

Here’s my portion of the GGC fandom stats panel. This is what my charts from a few weeks ago were for.

I’ve gotten increasingly weary of fujoshi-haters moaning about AO3 as though it’s The Establishment and needs to be rebelled against. The preponderance of m/m on AO3 is impressive, but it’s also unusual. Sometimes, people try to pit m/m and f/f against each other, but I don’t think actual site stats bear out that kind of approach.

The reality is that AO3, like parts of tumblr, is a rare island of amorphous queerness, floating in a vast ocean of het-as-default spaces. If I never again see a hand-wringing thinkpiece about what AO3′s m/m percentage meeeeeans and how it must indicate that No One likes female characters, it will be too soon.

Put simply, AO3 is full of m/m and has a high proportion of fics with multiple ship types as well as a higher proportion of f/f than many spaces (though still not a high percentage).

FFN and Wattpad are both popular, both active, and both full of het and gen. They also both have more fanworks, arguably, though Wattpad works tend to be very short, and FFN’s rate of new works is falling behind AO3′s. Some people who prefer AO3 themselves will take this to mean that only AO3 is relevant, but that’s like standing in the gay bookstore going, “Gosh, it sure is sad that there aren’t any STRAIGHT bookstores! Think of the hets!”

Any fool you see doing this is helping the people who hate queer content to shit on that queer content. Anyone who repeats the myth that most fanfic is m/m is furthering an anti-queer narrative whether they mean to or not. (Yes, even those of you complaining about “straight girls” and “fetishization”.) I’m tired of these bad takes being given a pass.

AO3′s metadata is designed to put queer content on the same level of importance as straight content. It also makes it easy to get shipping stats. Other sites don’t give a fuck about queer content and make it hard to get shipping stats. This has led to very skewed understandings of what fic fandom as a whole looks like--skewed understandings that help bullies go after m/m content with the pretense that they’re striking back against The Man.

It’s time those of us who like fandom stats took responsibility for lopsided, AO3-centric narratives and the social damage they can do.

Here is what fandom looks like actually:

Notes on the chart data below the cut:

These are stats showing, to the best of my ability, what is extant on these sites in 2020. (So it’s fic posted throughout the archives’ histories, not fic posted in 2020.)

The AO3 numbers were compiled by going to the ship type tags and pulling the actual numbers. The Wattpad and FFN numbers are from randomly sampling those archives, then hand-classifying the sample. A quick check of the posting dates and fandoms represented suggests the samples are pretty representative, but it would be good to see other people repeat this exercise for comparison data.

There is some inevitable gray area between het and gen, and the vast, vast majority of these works were not clearly marked for het even in cases where they have graphic het sex scenes. The m/m and f/f fics were typically marked more clearly. In cases where headers mentioned a ship name or words like ‘slash’, ‘yaoi’, ‘bl’, ‘yuri’, etc., I used that as the classification. In ambiguous cases, I skimmed the fic and did text searches for ‘kiss’, ‘fuck’, etc. to see if I could find shippy content.

The “Multi & Other” category includes anything with more than one ship type (e.g. separate M/M and F/M ships in the same fic) as well as m/m/f, masturbation fics, tentacle monsters, etc. I did this because the numbers are so low on Wattpad and FFN that pulling out a separate slice for m/m+f/m or m/m+f/f would unnecessarily complicate the graph. It also helps weed out background ships on AO3. The m/m, f/m, f/f, and gen slices are works that are only tagged with that on AO3, and the whole pie chart adds up to 100%, like the other two do.

[deafeninggardenerpanda]

If ur still doing that ask game uh 002 metadede ship wishlist :D

mario WAHOO noise great job starting self-indulgent hours anon (thank you)

002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you:

When I started shipping them:

i had to check my archives for this. apparently the first metadede post i reblogged was january 2020, but looking at that post i think i shipped them even a bit before that. i do very clearly remember however, when i first joined the fandom and saw that ship, that i thought it was weird and that i thought shipping kirby characters/circles in general was kinda weird. hahahahaha oh my gosh look at me now

My thoughts:

they're idiots 💖 they make each other lose braincells and feed each others bad ideas. more than that, they know that they dont have to act a certain way in front of each other. they dont need to impress or feel like they need to set an certain example, so they can really relax and have fun. adult to adult friendship 🤝

What makes me happy about them:

okay okay repeating myself a lot around here but hey two sole adults with a long history. hating each other but then being forced to get to know each other and then LEARNING TO RESPECT AND ESTABLISH MUTUAL TRUST. im so weak for enemies to friends i cant get over it 🤦‍♂️

What makes me sad about them:

hmmm nothing? i loooove drama between these two lmao so very little could make me sad about them. unless in canon they said explicitly they dont trust each other that would be sad 👎

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

i don't actually read that much fanfic, i think the metadedes ive read were just oneshots/otherwise really short and im gonna be honest i dont remember what happens in most of them. trying my best though, im gonna answer this with i think conflicts are solved too easily. its like one snuggle later and everythings okay. to be fair most metadede centered fics are fluff/comfort so whatever you know, i dont go in expecting that stuff from it

Things I look for in fanfic:

as said before i dont read much fanfic, especially long fanfic. i like short oneshots :) but if i did read long fanfic 👇 see below

My wishlist:

*deep breath* i want more metadede content where they drive in the enemies to friends to lovers. i want them to be the biggest mess ever and argue all the time and be petty and kick each others asses before they understand each other. the kf2 novel was pretty fun in that regard. this might be an unpopular opinion but as i said before just hhrhrhghg when theres stuggle it makes the end result more rewarding. the boys gotta work for their happy end

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

meta with whoever honestly, theres a ton of candidates out there. metagala or metaroach esp though. and dedede i guess with queen ripple. i dont ship those two but i hc that dedede had a crush on her for a while

My happily ever after for them:

kinda thought about this before and its a bittersweet answer. not cause i love sad stuff and drama in my ship this time surprisingly.

meta loves doing his own thing. taking some stuff from the novels (i think puppet princess in this case) he likes living freely, that's why he doesn't serve under anyone or take orders. he travels the universe a lot for one reason or another, and i think he can't live without exploring and adventuring. compared with dedede who likes being grounded in one place to protect everyone and cant leave dreamland, their lifestyles are incompatible. i cant imagine them settling down together like couples usually would. best case scenario i have is meta is only out some parts of the year, so he visits and lives in dreamland as much as he can, and he calls dedede often when he cant. bit of a long distance relationship :')

[smells-like-mettaton]

Rating: G

Summary: Mettaton brings home a strange skeleton child.  With his now-skeletal cousin Chara unwilling to explain their origins or identity, he falls back Alphys's original assumption: that this child belongs to him and Papyrus.  Now he just has to convince Papyrus to play along... and convince himself that it's all just part of the show.

Word Count: 901  |  Chapter 1/?

Notes: this was supposed to be for Alphys week, but it took a fun turn into something completely different.  Can’t promise quick updates because I am juggling way too many fics already but I couldn’t stop myself from playing with this dslkjfsd

XXX

Alphys needed to get a bigger couch.  Or a guest room, or, or something.  Or maybe she just needed to learn how to make her doors phase-proof.  (She was sure she’d made the electronic lock impossible to hack, so Mettaton must have retained some of his ghost abilities, no matter how much he played ignorant.) 

Anyway.  It wasn’t like she minded her friends crashing in her living room.  But the small skeleton monster flopped on Mettaton’s chest was definitely not one she’d seen before. 

And, well, there were only so many possibilities for where an unfamiliar skeleton child could’ve come from.  The thought was both incredibly awkward, and sort of validating?  She’d written plenty of Papyton fanfiction, but she’d never imagined that the two of them would… well!  

“M-Mettaton?”  She shook one of his shoulder plates before remembering that she’d have to unplug his charging cable.  

He bolted upright when she did so.  

“Alphys?” He rubbed his eyes and stretched luxuriously, not acknowledging the child lying on him at all.  “What is it, darling? You know how I feel about my charging cycle being interrupted.”

“Um.  W-well, I was just coming downstairs for some two AM ramen—th-that’s not important, though—anyway! I just?  Wondered if you knew, um, that there’s a kid on you?”

Mettaton looked down at his lap, where the tiny skeleton had slid down without waking.  He didn��t look surprised, though he did suddenly appear uncomfortable.

“Well.  Welly well well.”  He cleared his throat.  “Can’t this wait until morning?”

“N-not if you’re going to keep living on my couch!” She had to put her foot down somewhere!  “I don’t have anything ch-childproofed!  What if they get into my lab and hurt themself?  Besides, shouldn’t you be sleeping with Papyrus if you…”

Her face heated.  Mettaton looked confused for a moment before her words sunk in.

“Oh.  You.  Ha ha.  Alphys, darling, you have the wrong idea.”  He forced a grin.

“Then surely you can explain why you’re sleeping with a skeleton child that clearly feels comfortable with you?”

The child let out a soft snore.  Alphys couldn’t tell how old they were—they didn’t look like a baby, but then again, she was no expert on the skeleton life cycle.  Especially if one of the parents happened to be a ghost-slash-robot.  They were wearing an MTT-Brand striped sweater, at least, so they definitely weren’t just a small skeleton like Sans.

Oh my gosh.  SANS.  Alphys’s eyes went wide.

“If Papyrus isn’t the other father, th-then is it—?”

A look of horror crossed Mettaton’s face.

“It’s not Sans.  Ew.”

“Oh thank goodness.” She let out a sigh of relief.  Besides, she was pretty sure Sans had a thing for Toriel.

“This whole situation is… complicated, darling.” Mettaton looked away.  “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you.  I didn’t know that they would be staying with me, or I would have booked a room at the resort.”

Alphys never understood why Mettaton didn’t stay at his resort anyway.  But she usually appreciated the company, so she never asked.  She liked to think that maybe he just liked to hang out with her, like they used to back when they were both just giant losers.

“Okay,” she relented.  “I know more than anyone about secrets.  I won’t force you to talk about it if you’re not ready.”  

She stared down at the little skeleton, who was still sleeping peacefully.  They certainly didn’t share Papyrus’s insomnia—assuming he really was the other father.  Alphys still couldn’t think of any other sensible explanation.

Mettaton gratefully took her hand and kissed the top of her knuckles.

“You’re the best of the best, Alphys.” 

She was supposed to add a but afterwards, but Mettaton still looked exhausted.  She’d get better answers out of him in the morning.

Failing that, she could always talk to the little skeleton themself.

“Yeah, yeah, save the flattery for your fans.  Or your boyfriend.”

She couldn’t help smirking when he blushed.

“Ha ha… yes. Of course.”

She picked up his charging cord, but before plugging it in, she looked back over her shoulder.

“Um, I forgot to ask,” she said. “What’s their name?”

“Their—their name?”  Mettaton’s eyes were as blank as a crashing copy of Windows Vista.

“They do have a name, right?” Her brow furrowed.  “Skeletons are named after their fonts, aren’t they?”

“Yes! Um, typically.  You see, my… child… is not an ordinary skeleton, in the traditional sense…”

Alphys closed her eyes and waved a hand.  “Okay, okay.  I don’t need to know how they were created, thanks.”

Mettaton chuckled.  “Please, darling.  I wouldn’t share anything vulgar.  I was just going to say that as they have Blook heritage, they will get to choose their own name, when they are ready.  Which they most definitely are not.  So please do not ask them or anyone else about it.”

“R-right.”  Ghosts could be touchy about names; she should have seen that coming.  At least she now knew for sure that the skeleton child was his.  “Well, um, goodnight then?  And? Let me know if they need anything??”

“Of course, beautiful.  Thank you.” 

The statement was less flowery than usual, but she could feel the weight behind it.  She smiled back and plugged in his cable.

As he powered down, she went back upstairs to her room.  Who needed ramen when she had a new Papyton fanfic to draft?

[ninjnerd-anaklusmos]

Shadows Rising

Oh my gosh, it's a fic update

Summary:

This infernal day just gets worse and worse, doesn't it? Mammon's trying everything he can to make Leviathan feel better, and the moment he succeeds, everything goes to Hell.

Lucifer frowned at his phone, trying to puzzle out Mammon's quick message. Was Leviathan alright? Why had he needed to go home? Was it serious, or could Mammon handle it alone? Lucifer huffed to himself, pocketing the device. How could he have not noticed Leviathan feeling off? He prided himself on his abilities to understand his sibling's feelings and needs. How had he missed such an important crisis?

A groan caught his attention, and Lucifer put a little more weight onto the face he was currently standing on. The groan grew louder and Lucifer grumbled, returning his attention to the demon he was standing on.

“What exactly were you boys discussing about my brother?”

The one he was standing on shuddered, and the two against the wall were holding onto each other like they were going to be executed. If they didn't answer him, they would wish that was how they died. Lucifer shifted his weight again, causing the demon beneath him to cry out in pain.

“I believe I asked you boys a question.”

The two against the wall shared a look, and the one on the right spoke in a shaking voice, “I don't really remember. We were just playing around-"

His voice cracked and he shuddered, collapsing onto the floor as his friend shrieked, clutching at his head in pain. The demon under Lucifer’s foot growled, his eyes flashing to look up at Lucifer, who had a sadistic smiling stretching his lips.

“Well? What will it be? Death, insanity, or an answer?”

The demon spat instead of answering the Avatar of Pride, and Lucifer knew that the demon below his shoe would not survive the day. Lucifer slammed his foot down, hearing the crack of bone, “I see. Death it is.”

***

Mammon paced nervously in front of Leviathan's door, gnawing on his fingernails as a way to de-stress. It wasn't helping him, though. Not with how Leviathan had left literal hours ago. Nobody could sleep that long when they were upset, except maybe Belphie, but he was the exception to that rule. Leviathan was known to hide away by himself when he was feeling like garbage, and Mammon knew him since the very beginning, so he had seen it happen many times.

Should he go knock on the door? Or would that be a tragic decision? Maybe Leviathan was just really tired and he needed a three-hour nap to get him through the day. Mammon winced, yanking his thumb out of his mouth, cringing at the blood welling up around his cuticle. Oops. Mammon shoved his injured hand into his sweat pants pocket, still looking at the door. Leviathan could be in there cutting himself for all he knew. It wouldn’t be the first time, either.

Mammon cursed under his breath, his uninjured hand opening the door. Peeking his head inside, Mammon glanced about the room. Where was Leviathan? Creeping inside, Mammon gently closed the door, just in case Leviathan was actually sleeping or if the sound of the door closing was too much for the sea demon right now. Tip-toeing forward, Mammon looked about the room, finding most every device off and untouched. Even the monitors that were almost always on were shut off, their blank screens making Mammon's gut churn with worry.

Mammon squinted in the darkness, trying to find any sign of Leviathan. Mammon yelped, tumbling forwards and crashing into something hard. Cursing under his breath, Mammon gingerly rubbed at his aching head, glaring at Levi’s bathtub bed. That was one way to see if Leviathan was in bed though. He clearly wasn’t, or Mammon surely would have heard a yelp or felt the squishiness. Mammon flopped out of the tub, laying on the floor for a minute, staring up at the ceiling.

The jellyfish were glowing faintly, light blues and lilacs creating a pretty picture across the ceiling. Mammon smiled faintly, getting back on his feet. He could admire the work Leviathan put into his room later, right now he needed to find his brother. Walking towards the bathroom, Mammon waved his hands in front of him, making sure he wouldn’t fall this time. Pausing in front of the door, Mammon felt his expression fall into sorrow. Leviathan was definitely in there.

Mammon poked his head in the doorway, “Hey?”

Leviathan sniffled in his bathtub; knees drawn up to his chest. He looked away from Mammon, scrubbing at his eyes with baggy sleeves. Mammon took that as an invitation, walking inside the tiled room. He crouched down next to the bathtub, noting that the only thing in it was Leviathan. That was weird, since Leviathan usually filled the tub to the brim when he was upset, claiming that the water helped him calm down. Mammon could understand that, so maybe Leviathan wasn’t super upset right now?

Mammon spoke softly, not wanting to upset Leviathan, “How’re ya doin’?”

Leviathan sniffled again, barely meeting Mammon’s eyes before a new wave of tears flooded free. Leviathan burst into the worst kind of crying, the one that made you cough and sob and curl up in pain. Mammon winced, nervously drumming his fingers on the tub’s edge. Okay, Leviathan was so upset that water wouldn’t help him. Damnit. Maybe he should have ripped those demons limb-from-limb when he had the chance.

Mammon tossed a leg over the ledge of the tub, slipping into the spacious porcelain. It was cold without any water, but Mammon ignored that, instead he tugged at Leviathan’s arm.

“C’mere, Levi.”

Leviathan listened, latching onto Mammon like he was the only life saver on a sinking ship. Mammon let Leviathan nestle into his neck, arms snaking around his back. Mammon hummed softly, running a hand through Leviathan’s messy hair, knowing words wouldn’t work right now. Leviathan just needed to feel something that wasn’t angry or hurtful. He needed comfort and unconditional love, and Mammon was always good at giving.

***

Leviathan’s body-racking sobs eventually faded into hiccups and silence. They hadn’t left the tub the entire time, and Mammon knew one of his legs was asleep, but it could wait. Leviathan lifted his head, bumping his forehead against Mammon’s, eyes closed. He looked exhausted and so sad that Mammon just wanted to have the power to wash away all of the pain Leviathan had ever felt, rescuing him from dark thoughts and cruelty. Instead, he rubbed their noses together, earning a little smile from Leviathan at the action. The smile died quickly, though.

“Sorry.”

Mammon rolled his eyes, unable to stop the irritation of Leviathan apologizing yet again.

“Levi, ya ain’t doin’ anything wrong. Ya needed to feel things, that’s normal.”

Leviathan shrugged jerkily, scooching backwards and giving Mammon’s space back to him. Mammon felt cold at the sudden loss, but he knew Leviathan was feeling wrong and overwhelmed, so he didn’t reach out for him. Leviathan tugged his legs up to his chest again, resting his face against his knees before he spoke again.

“I’m sorry you missed class.”

Mammon snorted, drawing his numb leg up to his own chest in an attempt to wake it up, “Please. I should be thankin’ ya.”

Leviathan didn’t respond to that, and Mammon chewed his lip, trying to think of something to say.

“Ya know, I’m sorry that ya had to listen to those liars.”

Leviathan’s arms tensed from where they were wrapped around his legs, and the sea demon didn’t respond.

Mammon continued, not sure what to do with that reaction, “Ya do know they’re liars, right?”

Leviathan curled tighter in on himself. Mammon reached out and poked Leviathan’s wrist, “Right?”

“They aren’t liars.”

Mammon recoiled slightly from shock, “Uh, yes they are! Ya ain’t no pretentious bastard?”

Leviathan looked up, his eyes very dark, “I wasn’t talking about that.”

It hit Mammon like a brick smashing into a window, splintering his view and opening millions of different possibilities.

“Levi, no. Please don’t-”

Leviathan gestured hopelessly at himself, “They weren’t lying! I am chubby and ugly and-”

Mammon shook Leviathan’s arm, cutting him off, “No ya aren’t!”

Leviathan jerked his arm away, “You don’t mean that.”

“Ya know I mean it.”

Leviathan looked away, miserable and self-loathing. Mammon didn’t want this to fester, because he knew what would happen if it did. Standing, Mammon tugged Leviathan’s arm again, pulling him up too.

“What are you doing? Hey, let go.”

Mammon tugged Leviathan out of the bathroom, taking him out of his room. Leviathan wasn’t struggling against his grip, but he was voicing questions that Mammon mostly ignored. He kicked his bedroom door open, leading Leviathan into his bedroom. He pulled the sea demon around the pool table, walking inside of his bathroom.

“Mammon, what are you-”

Mammon stopped directly in front of his mirror, Leviathan beside him. Leviathan looked away from the mirror, confused.

“That’s a big mirror?”

Mammon nodded, “Yup. I got it for chekin’ my fits. But it’s got a bigger purpose today.”

Leviathan narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing Mammon, “I don’t like where you’re going with this.”

Mammon pointed at the mirror, “Lookit at it and tell me what ya see.”

Leviathan sighed, “Mammon, I really hate mirrors.”

“I know. But ya gotta look.”

Leviathan glanced at his reflection, cringing at the sight, “There I looked.” He grabbed Mammon’s wrist, tugging him in the direction of the door, “C’mon. Let’s get out.”

Mammon shook his head, “Nope. That ain’t good enough. Ya gotta tell me what ya see.”

Leviathan groaned, “Really? Fine.”

He gestured angrily at the reflection, “All I ever see is an anxiety-ridden over-grown child that doesn’t know anything about anybody, who thinks he’s trash and the world is right about him! Happy?”

Mammon shook his head, feeling the heat of tears in his eyes, “That’s not what I want ya ta see.”

Leviathan threw his hands up into the air, “Well, that’s all I ever see!”

Mammon gently turned Leviathan’s face to the mirror, looking at his own reflection next to Leviathan’s, “That ain’t what I see, though. I see my best friend.”

Leviathan’s eyes looked shiny again, and Mammon bumped their shoulders together, “He’s cool, and funny. He’s a bitta a nerd, but he can build computers and knows everything about anime. He doesn’t believe me when I tell ‘im, but he’s pretty and beautiful too.”

Leviathan shook his head in disbelief, “Now I know you’re lying to me.”

Mammon leaned his head against Leviathan’s, “But I’m tellin’ the truth. It’s always been true.”

Leviathan sniffled, eyes looking down and away from his reflection, his hands tugging at his over-sized t-shirt. Mammon wrapped an arm around Leviathan’s waist, rubbing against his side in a comforting way.

“I just want him to believe me one day. Maybe he’ll look at his reflection and smile someday.”

Leviathan swiped at his eyes, “Maybe.”

Mammon smiled at their reflections, “Ya wanna get somethin’ ta eat?”

Leviathan bit his lip, “Um...”

“Ya can say no. I ain’t gonna force ya ta do anythin’ ya don’t wanna do.”

Leviathan sighed through his nose, “I don’t wanna, but I should probably eat something.”

Mammon arched his eyebrow, “When’d ya last eat?”

Leviathan looked sheepish, “A couple days?”

“Levi!”

Leviathan winced, “I know, I know, I shouldn’t be doing it, but-”

Mammon interjected, “That- ya can’t be doin’ that!”

“I’m-”

“Don’t ya apoligize ta me. Ya said ya knew it was bad, so we’re just gonna go fix it.”

Leviathan let Mammon clasp their hands together, gently leading him out of the bathroom. They left Mammon’s room, heading for the kitchen. At the top of the stairs Leviathan stopped walking. Mammon paused, looking back at Leviathan in confusion.

“What?”

Leviathan swallowed, his hand clammy and shaky in Mammon’s, “What if somebody’s down there?”

Mammon thought about that for a minute. Usually by now, the only one still at RAD was Lucifer. So Leviathan’s worry was founded on facts. Mammon chewed his lip, glancing down the stairs. They would have to go past through the living room to get to the kitchen. Mammon let go of Leviathan’s hand, opening his arms instead. Leviathan looked at Mammon, his expression confused.

“Mammon, what does that mean?”

Mammon was nervous himself, but this was all he could think of to do.

“Ya don’t wanna be seen, but if somebody is downstairs, then we’re gonna be seen anyway. So, maybe if I just kinda... toted ya?”

Leviathan flushed, “I- what? No way!”

Mammon lowered his arms, “Aight then. Let’s go.”

Leviathan paused, “Um, on second thought.”

Mammon turned back towards Leviathan, hand on the railing of the stairs, “Hm?”

Leviathan swallowed, his hands fiddling with the hem of his shirt, “The, um, toting idea?”

Mammon smiled brightly, “C’mere then.”

***

Mammon made his way down the stairs, Leviathan’s face hidden against his neck in embarrassment. Leviathan wasn’t nearly as heavy as Mammon thought he would be. Mammon had his arms securing Leviathan by holding onto the other’s thighs, which might have been adding to Leviathan’s embarrassment. Mammon wasn’t too embarrassed by the situation, on the contrary, he was enjoying it. Carrying Leviathan around was always something they used to do together, so by doing it now, Mammon felt even closer to their old bonds.

Walking past the couch, Mammon noticed Asmodeus sitting on the couch, painting his nails. Asmodeus glanced up, his expression going from curiosity to befuddlement and concern.

“Oh my word, what happened?”

Mammon shifted Leviathan’s weight to one arm, freeing a hand so he could wave his hand, “Nothin’ too bad. Levi’s just hungry and a lil’ sensitive right now.”

Leviathan made a quiet sound of embarrassment, but Asmodeus nodded. “Okay. Do you need anything?”

Mammon scoffed, “Nah, we got it. Thanks though.”

“Anytime.”

Mammon continued on his journey to get Leviathan food, wondering if Beel had made it back and devoured the bag of fish crackers on the floor. Mammon cringed when he saw the wall panel still laying on the floor, but he chose to ignore it in favor of getting Leviathan something to eat. Mammon deposited his brother atop the counter, searching for the missing crackers. Leviathan glanced about, orange eyes scanning the disarray of the kitchen.

“You really did a number on the kitchen, huh?”

Mammon dug through the cabinets, “Not really.”

Leviathan snorted, kicking his legs idly as he watched Mammon create more clean-up, “I mean, the wall’s open. I think you messed up a bit.”

Mammon rolled his eyes, pausing in his search long enough to stick his tongue out at Leviathan. After another minute of searching, Mammon picked the bag up off of the floor, waving it triumphantly.

“See? Found them!”

Leviathan snorted, “You walked over them twice.”

Mammon felt his face redden, “Well, I found them anyway!”

He pulled himself up onto the counter next to Leviathan, opening the bag. Mammon pulled a couple out, tossing them into his mouth. He offered the bag to Leviathan, watching the conflicting emotions fight on Leviathan’s face. After a moment, Leviathan pulled a cracker out of the bag, chewing it slowly. His face went from leeriness to relief as he continued to eat the cracker. Mammon offered him another, and Leviathan accepted the cracker.

They ate in silence for a few minutes, until Mammon couldn’t stop the questions floating on his tongue any more.

“Levi? Why do ya do this?”

Leviathan paused mid-chew, “Hm?”

Mammon gestured at the bag of crackers laying on their legs, “Why do ya just not eat?”

Leviathan flinched, swallowing as if the cracker didn’t taste as good anymore, “I... it’s complicated.”

Mammon nodded, rubbing his thumb across a cracker, feeling the slightly grainy texture, “Sounds complicated. Ya wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

Mammon pursed his lips, “’Kay. What about later?”

Leviathan sighed, hands in his lap, “I really don’t like talking about... that. Or anything like that in general.”

Mammon looked over at Leviathan, “Like, eating patterns and stuff?”

Leviathan nodded, “I just... It stresses me out.”

Mammon nodded, “Alright.”

They lapsed into silence again, and Mammon wasn’t sure what to say. Did he ask about anything else, or just stay quiet? Should he say anything at all? What if he made Leviathan feel worse than he already did? Mammon had practically guilt-tripped Leviathan into eating anyway. Should he have done it? Mammon’s mind was a whirl of questions and worries. Leviathan nudged him, jostling him out of his thoughts, “Huh?”

Leviathan poked Mammon’s arm, “You stole the bag.”

Mammon glanced down, and sure enough, his hands were tightly clasping the bag of crackers. Sheepishly, Mammon handed the bag to Leviathan, feeling embarrassed. Leviathan murmured his thanks, pulling another cracker out of the package. Mammon shifted uncomfortably, unsure of what to say or do. Leviathan saved him from having to by initiating a different topic.

“How are you doing, actually?”

Mammon blinked, “Not bad.”

Leviathan quirked his lips upwards, “Really? That’s good to hear.”

Mammon nodded, “I was thinking about going back this week. I miss my paycheck.”

Leviathan stared at him for a minute, “Are you sure? You can take your time.”

“That’s the thing. I have takin’ my time,” Mammon paused, “I think I’m ready. I wanna go tell Phillis about it.”

Mammon felt a hand on his shoulder, then Leviathan’s voice, “You’re the victim, though. Remember that, okay?”

Mammon nodded, “Yeah.”

“Hang on, I was s’posed ta be helpin’ you, not the other way around!”

Leviathan looked self-conscious, “Well, you did say that I was kind.”

Mammon balked, his expression melting into one of happiness, “Yeah, I did.”

Leviathan returned his happy expression, both of them smiling softly at the other. The moment was ruined by Satan walking into the kitchen, surveying the mess and the brothers on the counter.

Satan’s blond eyebrow arched upwards, “What happened here?”

Leviathan shrugged while Mammon looked diffident, “Well, I... ya see...”

Satan sighed heavily, rubbing at the bridge of his nose, “Never mind. I don’t want to know.”

Mammon looked helplessly at Leviathan, noticing that he was much quieter than before and he had stopped eating. Mammon frowned, reaching for another cracker. Satan noticed, looking even more done with them than he had a moment ago.

“Guys, I’m on dinner duty tonight. You’re ruining your appetites.”

Leviathan flushed darkly, “S-sorry. We’ll go.”

Leviathan slipped off of the counter top, stopping when Mammon tugged on the collar of his jacket, catching him before he could leave the kitchen. Leviathan looked back at Mammon, who snapped and pointed at the counter space next to him. Leviathan sighed, hopping back up onto the counter. Mammon then pointed at the bag of crackers, and Leviathan nervously took the bag, shakily pulling a cracker out of its confinement, eating it slowly.

Satan blinked, “Dare I ask?”

Mammon gestured at Leviathan, “He hasn’t eaten in two days. I’m feedin’ ‘im.”

Leviathan’s blush had worsened, his ears taking on the reddish hue, “Mammon, that sounds weird!”

Mammon shrugged, “Only if ya make it weird.”

Satan waved his hands, catching their attention, "Wait, you haven’t eaten in forty-eight hours?”

Leviathan nodded, nibbling at a cracker. Satan blinked, then he shrugged his jacket off, tossing it onto the back of a chair. He then rolled his sweater sleeves up, gesturing around at the mess.

“Mammon, care to assist? I’ll get something cooked a little early for Leviathan to eat, since crackers really shouldn’t be the only thing he eats today.”

Mammon jumped off of the counter, hurrying to clean the kitchen. Leviathan stared, expression bewildered, “Wait, guys, you don’t have to.”

Satan scoffed, setting a pan on the stove, “Oh, please. I’m not doing it because I have to. I’m doing it because I want to.”

Mammon nodded, struggling to fit the wall panel back in its place, “What he said!”

Asmodeus’s voice rang out from the living room, “Absolutely! What are we discussing?!”

Satan flicked the heat on, “Asmo, stop yelling and get your ass in here!”

Asmodeus frolicked into the kitchen, bee-lining towards Leviathan, pulling himself up on the counter next to him. He gently laid his hand on Leviathan’s arm, “I heard you were having a bad day? I’m sorry, dear.”

Leviathan shrugged, looking self-conscious. Mammon began to fill Asmodeus and Satan in on what they had missed earlier, “Levi was getting smack-talked earlier, so I kicked their asses and took him home. He’s been feelin’ bad all day, so I stayed ta keep him company.”

Mammon shot Leviathan a serious look, “He also hasn’t eaten in two days.”

Asmodeus gasped, “Oh, baby. That isn’t good.”

Leviathan swallowed, “I know, but I-”

Satan waved a spatula at him, “Shut up. Seriously, I don’t want to listen to your excuses. It happened, but you aren’t hiding away. You’re out here, eating, and identifying the issue. No excuses.”

Leviathan nodded, “Okay.”

Asmodeus sighed, “Must I tell you how beautiful you are again? When will you accept it?”

Mammon tossed a few chip bags back into a cabinet, “That’s what I said!”

Satan had somehow ended up over by the refrigerator, “Hey, Levi? Do you want a grilled ham and cheese?”

Leviathan bit his lip, eyes on his lap, “If it’s not too much trouble?”

Satan snorted, “It’ll take two minutes.”

Mammon raised his hand, “I’ll take one then!”

“I am not your personal chef!”

Leviathan snickered slightly, and Asmodeus smiled at him, “For the record, I think you’re perfect the way you are.”

Leviathan opened his mouth, but Asmodeus continued, “However, my opinion? Irrelevant. All that matters is what you think. Do you like yourself the way you are?”

Leviathan looked away, “I don’t know.”

Asmodeus side hugged him, “That’s okay too.”

Mammon grinned, watching Leviathan and Asmodeus, “Look at ‘em.”

Satan was smiling too, assembling the sandwiches, “Yeah.”

Their moment of peace was destroyed when Lucifer rushed into the kitchen in his demon form, shedding bloody feathers. He made his way over to Leviathan, pulling the younger demon in for a hug. Asmodeus shrieked and moved two feet away, pointing at the blood in shock. Mammon was by Lucifer’s side in seconds, trying to identify if the blood was his or not. Lucifer was breathing, obviously, but that didn’t really clear anything up.

Mammon whirled around, gesturing at Satan, “C’mere!”

Satan just stood there; eyes blown wide with shock. Mammon snapped, “Get over here!”

Satan jerked back into reality, dashing over and tugging on Lucifer, “Get off of him!”

Lucifer did, stumbling backwards. Mammon could taste his panic, bright and vibrant. Satan looked dumbfounded; his blue eyes very green. Mammon felt confused, and then it hit him. Lucifer wasn’t injured. He was angry. Leviathan was crying again, but he didn’t stick around to explain why. He just dashed out of the room, stumbling over bags of food and his own feet. Mammon didn’t hesitate to rush after him, shouting over his shoulder, “Help Luci!”

Mammon poured on the speed, taking the steps three at a time, silently cursing Lucifer’s timing. Better yet, where were the twins? Shouldn’t they be home too? Mammon cursed, sliding around the corner just as Leviathan’s door slammed shut. Today just wouldn’t end, would it?

[mementomorimissy]

Drunken Truths

After having some wine and enjoying themselves, Mobius reveals how he truly feels about Loki. Loki does not take the news well.

Had it been a day? Three? Seven? Loki had not gotten used to how time worked in the Time Variance Authority. He had yet to sleep, so it could have been only a few hours for all he knew. It didn’t matter anyway. He could no longer return to a home that had been destroyed. A world he helped to destroy.

All he could do was work on the ridiculous case of finding his own variant until he knew enough to take over the Agency. Even though this version of himself could not have been as skilled or intelligent as Loki, it was proving to be harder than he expected. It might have been a variant, but it was still a Loki. There had to be something.

Mobius sat across the table from Loki. The files became a jumbled mess between them as they dismissed anything irrelevant. Some agents passed by them, but they were all busy in their own worlds. The only thing that mattered around the table was Loki and Mobius. They occasionally made small talk, but they were both focused on their own documents. Someone had to find something.

Loki didn’t realise he was tired until his eyes couldn’t stay open any longer. The next thing he knew, his head was on the desk and he was back in Asgard. It only lasted a moment, but he was there, drinking with Thor while they were still on speaking terms.

He was awoken by a nudge.

“How about we get you somewhere more comfortable to rest,” Mobius said softly. “Come on. We’ll go to my place.”

Loki scrunched his nose and sat up. “You have a place? Here I was thinking your entire life was a less interesting version of robots that only did what they were told by the giant lizards.” Loki smirked up at Mobius. They caught each other’s eyes.

“Very funny. Now move unless you want to stay here.”

Mobius led Loki through the authority to a door that seemed no different to any other. They hadn’t even left the building. It was nothing but the same brown and yellow architecture. No wonder the agents were the dullest people Loki had ever experienced.

“Do you ever get to see the sun here?” Loki asked as they reached a door.

“Not really. But don’t worry. We get plenty of sunshine when getting variants.”

That was great news for all the agents who actually went to the missions. Mobius grabbed his key from his pocket and unlocked the door. He stepped aside, allowing Loki to walk in first.

Loki didn’t know what he was expecting, but it was not what he saw. It was the same monochromatic scheme and files of paper he had been seeing anywhere else. There was no sign that Mobius was living there apart from a few cans of that ridiculous drink he always had and a few more jet ski magazines. Loki walked through, hoping to find a glimpse of comfort.

“It might not be the lush palace you’re used to-“ Mobius was saying.

“Oh, no. Gosh no. It is truly horrendous,” Loki started before remembering who he was talking to. He smiled back at Mobius. “But I suppose it will be suitable. For the while.” Mobius chuckled and made his way into the den that was the kitchen.

“Thank you for being so considerate. Here.” He returned with two glasses of red wine, offering one to Loki. Loki smiled and took the glass, sipping it. Even the wine was disgusting. Still, it was better than nothing.

Half of the bottle must have disappeared between the two of them, washing away any distaste they had with each other. Eventually, they stumbled their way through the living room and to the bedroom that was barely large enough for the perfectly made king-sized bed. Mobius fell back onto the bed and Loki straddled him.

Loki's lips crashed onto Mobius, hungry for the connection. He curled his fingers under Mobius’ collar, pulling him closer. Mobius’ earthy scent grew stronger. Loki felt Mobius’ hands move to his lower back, securing him. Loki was enjoying it. He could feel that Mobius was really enjoying it.

Every moment they moved brought a small release to Loki. He didn’t have to think about what he was doing. There was no master plan. It seemed like it was the first time in his life that he could just be. What was it about the strange, tender man that did this to Loki?

It could have been the wine, the stress, or the fact that it had been - Loki didn’t even know how long – since he had been held that way, but Loki wanted more. He tore away Mobius’ jacket and moved his fingers down to his pants.

Mobius gently kissed Loki’s neck and moaned, “I love you.”

Loki immediately stopped. He sat up more and stared into Mobius’ pale blue eyes. What trick was this man doing? Mobius just stared back with a look unfamiliar to Loki. It was… warm, pure, maybe even loving. That look slowly turned into one of concern. Mobius coughed and sat up more.

“Sorry. That was too soon. Forget I said anything,” Mobius mumbled. He sat up to kiss Loki’s lips, but was pushed back down.

Loki couldn’t forget that. It was exactly what he needed to hear. It felt wrong. It was wrong. Loki shuffled off of Mobius. He put on his best chirpy voice.

“Well, that was a nice distraction, but I really need to get back to it. We won’t be finding a Loki variant in this dump. Take care of yourself and I’ll see you there.”

He managed to make it out of the room before he heard Mobius calling out for him to wait.

Loki fled to the archives. It must have been late, or early, as there were no one else around. Perfect. He didn’t even know what he was looking for, but Loki searched up and down the aisles.

I love you

Loki could count on one hand the amount of people who told that to him, and nearly half of them were his so-called family. He took deep breaths, reading the same file name for the tenth time. He thought Mobius was a decent person, but he had been wrong many times before. What would he even get from saying that Loki? Did he think it would magically make Loki more compliant? Well, he clearly didn’t know Loki as well as he as he thought.

There was always the possibility that he meant it. That somehow in his naïve stupid head, he thought what he was feeling was love. It was like a kicked dog who kept returning to his master. The poor little thing didn’t know what he was getting himself into.

The squeaks from the end of the aisle alarmed Loki that he was no longer alone. Loki didn’t look up from the file.

“Now that you’ve gotten that out of your system, I would love it if you actually did something to help me,” Loki muttered.

The footsteps got louder until it stopped just when Loki could smell him. Mobius exhaled. He used that ridiculous soft voice he often used when he was talking to Loki – as if he was talking to a child.

“Look. I shouldn’t have said that. I mean, I don’t regret what I said, but it was too soon and not in the right way. I suppose I just got a little too excited. I mean, look at you, can you really blame me?”

Loki turned and started walking down the aisle, but still felt Mobius following him. It truly was pathetic.

“I get it. It was the heat of the moment. You would have the same thing to anyone who snaked their way into your chambers.”

“No. It’s not that. Loki, Look at me.” The file was snatched away from his hands. Loki sighed and looked up at the moustache. It was strange seeing it now that he knew what it felt like against his skin.

Mobius pressed his fingers against Loki’s chin, forcing him to look up until he could see the gentle blue eyes staring back at him. “I really do care about you. I thought I knew everything about you, but you are so much more than I expected. After all the crap that you went through, you’re still trying to be a better person. You’re talented, you’re intelligent, you’re just,” Mobius hesitated for a moment, “you’re just incredible.”

For the first time in his life, Loki didn’t know what to say. There was something different about how Mobius spoke. He honestly believed what he was saying. That just made everything worse.

“I get it. I know everything about me, but you know practically nothing about me. Well, my name is Mobius. My favourite colour is yellow, I like jet skis and I think you’re really cute.” Loki forced back a smile. “Just come back to bed.” Mobius moved his hand down to Loki’s, but before he reached it, Loki fought back.

He grabbed Mobius hand and twisted it so the agent was forced to turn around. He stepped closer behind the blonde, Loki’s lips only inches from Mobius’ ear.

“I am a god,” Loki grunted. “You are nothing but a mindless drone. Do you really think you can trick me with this nonsense? I can see through deceits much greater than yours.”

“What deceit? Loki, this is ridiculous. Let go of me.” There it was. The same warmth and concern he always had in his voice. Loki shouted in anger as he threw Mobius onto the floor. Mobius groaned and tried to get up, but was stopped by Loki pressing his foot onto Mobius’ chest, forcing him back down.

“Stop lying to me,” he yelled. Mobius just stared back as Loki took deep breaths. “You know nothing about me. You can’t love me. I know I’m greater than all the cretins you have put up with, but do not mistake that worship as love, you… you idiot.”

Mobius still didn’t fight back, but he kept his eyes steady on Loki.

“Are you done?”

Loki removed his foot from the agent. Mobius groaned while getting up. “You’re right. We really need to get back to work.” He started to walk down the aisle.

“Mobius,” Loki called out. The agent turned back to face him. As Loki spoke, he heard his voice break in a desperate attempt to be believed. “I’m just doing this to protect you. You know that, right?”

Mobius chuckled and shook his head before pushing his hands into his pocket.

“I really appreciate it, Loki, but I think we both know I’m not the one who needs protecting.” With that, he left, leaving Loki among the shelves. Alone.

[danny-chase]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman (Comics), Batgirl (Comics) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Cassandra Cain & Stephanie Brown Characters: Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Dick Grayson (mentioned), Tim Drake (mentioned), Damian Wayne (Mentioned), Alfred Pennyworth (mentioned) - Character Additional Tags: Cassandra Cain is Black Bat, 2009 Batfam vibes, Stephanie Brown is Batgirl, talks about the batgirl mantle, Cass comes home to Gotham, technically she's Cassandra Wayne in this, but idk if people use that tag, Girl Talks, possibly romantic, no beta we die like Cass, POV Cassandra Cain, Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown centric, mentions Gates of Gotham, you don't need to read it though, Cass comes home from Hong Kong, sorry Bruce is dead folks, takes place in Dick!Bats era, sliding around in socks, a wee bit of fluff, Cassandra Cain gets a hug, Stephanie Brown Gets a Hug, because i think they should hug, romance or not, late night conversation between besties Summary:

Cass has a surprise visitor after returning home from Hong Kong. She hasn't been in Gotham long, a lot's changed, but there are still people here she's happy to see.

Cass glided through the halls of the penthouse; the floors were perfect for sliding around in her socks. Though, ‘halls’ was being generous, she supposed. It was large, the rooms were spacious, but there were only two hallways. So much smaller than the manor. Less rooms, though more people, and plenty of space to fit them all.

 She could hear the chatter from the kitchen. The boys had decided to play a board game before she’d gotten back for the night. Dick wanted her to join in for the next round, but she found those games a little boring, and she wouldn’t fall for Tim’s puppy dog eyes tonight. But… she was tempted. It was a collaborative game, they’d explained. You don’t fight each other, you work together. That part, she liked.

She brushed past Tim’s guest room, which was slowly becoming more permanent. The door was cracked open, and she peeked inside. Neat and tidy, with trinkets lining his desk and shelves. Tim had changed a lot; his room was never this clean before. On a hunch she poked her head around the door. Behind it sat a mound of dirty clothes, just next to the bathroom door. Smiling to herself, she noted the mess of products on the sink. He’d changed, but not all the way.

 Damian’s door, she found closed all the way. Tim said he liked privacy, so she moved on. Dick’s door was wide open. The room was empty, aside from a messy bed. Hers was the same.

 At least she thought her room was empty.

 As she approached, she heard something moving inside, or someone. Whoever it was, was light on their feet, not very large, in the range of 120-150 pounds, and a bit anxious. The door was closed. She thought for a moment, and swiftly threw the door open, without making a sound.

 A blond girl in jeans and a green sweater stared out the window at the night sky.

 “Stephanie?” She recognized. The girl jumped and swiveled around.

 “Cass?” A joyous grin broke out across her face, though her shoulders stayed tense and anxious. They quickly strode toward each other and met in the middle of the room. Steph’s hands twitched, reaching up, as if asking for-

 Cass buried Steph in a hug at the realization. Steph laughed, giggling at her enthusiasm, and squeezed her back tightly. “I missed you.” They said at the same time. Steph laughed again in delight.

 They parted, and Steph sat on the edge of the bed, Cass following suit. She still looked a bit nervous but radiated happiness as well. They sat there, staring at each other for a moment. Cass smiled, also a bit anxiously, but eagerly, she hadn’t seen her oldest friend in forever.

 “Are you back for good?” Steph broke the silence. Cass nodded, she’d decided, after the gates of Gotham case, to stay. The family had fallen apart after Bruce had died, but she was ready to give it another shot, and so far, things were going well. Board games, movie nights. ‘Team bonding’, Dick called it. It had only been a week, but she’d gotten a turn to pick already. Rooftop tag. It was fun.

 “Things are good.” She replied. Damian was starting to trust her, and Dick and Tim were happy. And well, she was happy too. She loved having her own city, but it’d been lonely. Spending time with people was exhausting, but her family made it easier somehow.

 “That’s good.” Steph replied. Not a lie, but she still looked anxious. A thought flashed through her mind.

 “You’re not happy I’m home?” She asked quickly, her heart sinking at the notion. Steph’s eyes widened in surprise.  

 “What? No! Cass, I’m so happy you came back.” Not a lie. Cass sighed in relief, she didn’t want anyone to be upset she was back.

 “Then why are you nervous?” Steph’s hands were fidgeting slightly, hadn’t stopped since they’d met.

 “Huh, I’m not- Okay never mind.” Her shoulders dropped sheepishly. “I can’t lie to you, can I?”

 “Nope.” Cass popped the p, just like Steph used to whenever they talked before. No one could lie to her. Well. Almost no one.

 “Okay but… promise you won’t be mad.” She looked serious. Cass nodded slowly, watching as Steph pulled a box off the corner of the bed and carefully opened the lid. Her old Batgirl costume was inside.

 “Why would I get mad over that?” She gave the suit to Steph after all, she had her Black Bat suit now.

 “You let me borrow it and I ruined it!” Steph’s voice was guilty. Cass looked at the costume again. Bullet holes and tears marked it.

 “Are you okay?” Cass asked, those were a lot of holes.

 “Ugh, none of us deserve you.” Grateful. For what? Cass tilted her head to show the confusion. “I thought you would be mad because you can’t use it anymore. I thought you would want it back.” Cass shrugged.

 “I have a new suit now.” She assessed. She didn’t really care what she wore. Besides, if she wanted another Batgirl costume, Alfred could make one.

 “Don’t you… want to be Batgirl again?” Steph sounded concerned, but Cass wasn’t sure why.

 “I’m always Batgirl.” Cass stated. She thought for a moment. “Like Tim is still Robin.” It didn’t matter what they called each other; they were still them. “And you’re always a Spoil-sport.” She grinned smugly at the pun. Steph rolled her eyes, but she was amused.

 “Well, you can be Batgirl if you want. I kind of miss eggplant.” Her eyes twinkled mischievously, and the corners of her lips twitched up into a smile.

 “It’s a good color on you.” Cass agreed.

 “How about, we both be Batgirl, and we can switch costumes, and no one will know who’s coming.” Stephanie grinned in excitement. Cass grinned too. It sounded fun.

 “Deal.” She flopped back on her bed. Steph followed suit. “How was Gotham?”

 “It’s been wild. It’s different, you know.” Cass hummed in agreement. “I’m in college now, that’s going well. My mom’s working as a nurse. I mean, you’re right, things are good. It’s just… different.”

 “Batman and Robin.” Cass noted. Steph sighed.

 “Yeah, I mean it sucks Bruce died, but Dick’s doing great. And Damian’s coming around.” Steph shifted, turning to face her. “I’m sorry he died, I know he just adopted you, that must suck.” Cass took a deep breath, watching sympathy pour out of Steph’s baby blue eyes. It did suck. Her chest panged in regret, wishing they’d had more time together. But she didn’t want to focus on the past.

 “Yes.” She thought for a moment. “I still don’t understand.” She confessed. Butterflies swirled in her stomach, she didn’t want to make Steph upset, but she needed to know. “Why did you leave?” It had hurt, felt like her world was ending. It had hurt Tim too, and Bruce. Steph grimaced, she was clearly uncomfortable, rolling back, she faced the ceiling once more.

 “I was mad at first. I didn’t really choose to go.” She admitted. Cass understood, she’d been made to do things she hadn’t wanted to do before. It sucked. “But it was good too. It took time to heal.” She pointed at her head. “Up here too.”

 “You hit your head?” Cass had been shot in the head once. Wasn’t fun.

 “No like. I needed to think things out. Get in the right headspace.” She shook her head, not really understanding.

 “Why’d you go to Hong Kong?” Steph asked. She thought for a moment.

 “It hurt. To be around people.” She wasn’t sure how to describe it. She couldn’t stay in the manor. It was painful to be in the Cave. She never bled, but her chest had always ached, and something felt stuck in her throat. So, she left. And being alone hurt too, but in a different way. Steph looked at her sympathetically.

 “That’s why I stayed, thinking about coming back hurt. I was scared, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just… didn’t know what to do.” Groaning, she rolled over again. “It’s a mess.” Regretful. But a little hopeful. “Can we… still be friends?” The hope made her heart flutter.

 “Yep.” She agreed. Steph smiled, warmly, like the sun.

 “Thanks Cassie.” She didn’t really understand what she was being thanked for, but as the nickname rolled off Stephanie’s tongue, she felt more at home than she had in years. They lay still, enjoying each other’s company for a while longer.

 Eventually, Steph sat up, hopping off the bed. “Alright, let’s go do something fun kay? How bout we go kick the guys’ asses at Just Dance.”

 “Wait.” Cass walked over to her suitcase. “I got you something.” She pulled out a box. She’d collected things, from everywhere she visited. Picked up things that reminded her of family. She hadn’t really planned on giving them away, but now she had the real people, she didn’t need them anymore. She pulled out a purple ‘Lucky Cat’.

 “Oh my gosh! I love it!” Steph cradled it carefully in her hands. “Cass this is so sweet, I love it.” Cass beamed; she liked it too. And she made Steph happy with it, maybe it really was lucky. Steph smiled wider, clasping her hand and dragging her out through the hall, running so she could slide behind her on the perfectly slippery floors.

 And so, with whatever luck the cat could grant them, they were on their way to kicking butt at Just Dance. As the night wore on, laughs grew louder, and Cass was reminded again, how things had changed, but how change wasn’t always bad. The penthouse wasn’t as big as the Manor, and Gotham wasn’t as big as Hong Kong, but with her family, somehow her life seemed larger, and fuller again.

 Things could have turned out better, but they could have been worse too. And they would get better. Much better, as long as they all stuck together. There would be more difficult conversations to be had, but it was reassuring, knowing that after all they’d been through, she still had her best friend by her side.